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Author Topic: Memories of the Heart: YukiRena - Chapter I: Barely even there... (01/01/13)  (Read 3552 times)

Offline Sieka

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A/N: Moving out this prologue out of my fic collection thread because its improper to place this kind of story there with the others, actually, all of the ongoing fics there should be moved out, but I just deemed this proper to be moved out because of how the plot basis is. ^ ^

Actually, out of all the plot for YukiRena that I have, this is my top favorite, topping even Chinmoku's and What Matter's plot. I'm actually serious when I said this. ^ ^


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Memories of the Heart






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Index
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Prologue
Chapter I







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A/N: Index will be updated when further updates are released.
« Last Edit: January 01, 2013, 08:32:40 AM by Sieka »
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~I also ship NMB48's SayaMilky~
~From MG3, I wave the AnniNaga shipping flag~
~Shipping hard BlackGeki, and the princess pairing, YukiRena~

Fanfics:
[ Divine Intervention || The Beauty of Love || Sieka's Collections ]
[ This Distance Between Us || (Collab) Let Love Bleed Red ]
[ Memories of the Heart ]

Status: Semi-hiatus, Semi-I-don't-know-if-want-to-come-back-now

Offline Sieka

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----
Prologue
----


Staring of blankly into space, the cool air passes by and gently caresses warm teary stained cheeks, a young girl stood in front of her balcony, clenching the rails tightly with still cold hands, staring blankly up above with a sullen pained look that twisted in her beautiful face. The pain was immense, and even with the beautiful ethereal scenery above accompanied by the gentle cool breeze, an implausible weight still remained in her heart even as the starry night dauntlessly sparkles like a magnificent brilliant sea composed of shining bright light. Everything was still and soundless, yet at the same time, blaring with noises; a noise from somewhere else.

However, there is a big contradiction; a contradiction that no one would understand from that imperfect line.

The contradiction wasn’t born because of the words.

Neither was it because it is a soundless night today, or that it was past midnight already.

The contradiction itself was what was being felt inside; everything was in a big hampered mess, and it seemed that everything about was falling apart, like a glass was being broken into tiny little pieces. But, one cannot hear their heart break, the heart isn’t made of glass, it is made from flesh, veins and blood, even with that said; why do humans feel and hear that breaking sound?

Was it due to their minds being bound to illusions?

Or was it simply because the heart really does break?


It was an easy question, a simple logical question, but for a person who is condemned and fallen into despair and depression, such an answer from them would be a big contrast to the real answer.

It is kind of funny how the mind works, how it stops thinking and just keeps on reacting and how everything just turns as they are as one mindlessly work their way off like a lifeless person. Were all people like that, dazed and seemingly lifeless to everything around them as they just move to keep themselves living, moving to go with the flow of time and pace?

Did everyone ever experience something like that even?

Or was it just one solitary person who carries all that burden of being shackled to that torturous turmoil?


The thought of that was simply bitter, it was quite saddening, but what was one to do, when everyone keeps moving forward? When everything seems alright for everyone with only you hurting and thinking deeply? Maybe some people would say “You’re over thinking”, maybe it is true; maybe it isn’t since there are always two routes for one question. One can never be satisfied with only one option, but sadly, no one would even appreciate a variety of options if they were only limited to choose one.

Humans are selfish beings, they want and need everything that they desire, but cast away those that they don’t need, only to wish for them to want those things they have casted away. Why are humans like that? Why are they complex beings? It would be better if it was not like that. Everything would have come well off if everyone learned how to treasure everything that they have and have had in their life.

Yet, why are humans so blind in all of these? Why can’t they see the important things in front of them?

Was it ignorance, or was it because of obliviousness?

Or was it simply because of one’s defiance and arrogance?


The girl merely pondered for a few seconds, before sighing, shoulders slumped down, she bowed her head and stared at the concrete floor with heavy lidded teary eyes that reflected sadness and regret in it. The tears that have accumulated at the corner of the girl’s eyes seemingly were bound to fall down into an endless stream as she asked herself, quietly whispering into the night.

“If I knew the real answer to that…”

“…Would it bring everything back to me…?”






----
End of Prologue
----



[ Author Profile | Tumblr ]
~I also ship NMB48's SayaMilky~
~From MG3, I wave the AnniNaga shipping flag~
~Shipping hard BlackGeki, and the princess pairing, YukiRena~

Fanfics:
[ Divine Intervention || The Beauty of Love || Sieka's Collections ]
[ This Distance Between Us || (Collab) Let Love Bleed Red ]
[ Memories of the Heart ]

Status: Semi-hiatus, Semi-I-don't-know-if-want-to-come-back-now

Offline Sieka

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A/N: Updating chapter 1 now, hope you enjoy. Freshly written today so forgive me if there are still some mistakes left. :3


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Chapter I: “Barely even there…”
----


For how many days have passed by since she looked up with a smile? She couldn’t remember when the very last time she was happy was, everything seemed so far away right now, not a single thing even seemed to be right.

She’s been sulking, looking out the window more than often to even be able to count them using both her hands combined. It was more than often even that she would sit there near the window, gazing out to look at the sky compared to the number of times she would eat or sleep. She’s already long lost the appetite to eat, barely could she even stomach holding her chopsticks and eat her food, not when the memories in her mind keeps on flooding her mind.

Often she would leave her bowl of rice barely even eaten, most of her side dishes still intact and left untouched, it wasn’t healthy; she admits it purely because it really wasn’t. She’s already attracting attention from the head cook of their mansion, always often wondering whether his dishes were inedible or distasteful to the young lady. The maids in the mansion would even worry for her as often their young lady would just sit in the far corner of the room every time, looking disheartened and soulless, often admiring her hands and feet as she stare at the ground.

She looked so bland and out of life, nothing compared to the youthful and energetic her. It was as if someone had taken half of her life away from her.

It always comes to mind and she muses about it, bitterly chuckling as she reminisces of her memories in the past, but every time she does, a tear would often trail down her cheeks one by one until she couldn’t even count how many tears have fallen.

She wouldn’t dare even say anything.

Even the maids themselves don’t know what to do.

Even if they tried talking to their young lady, she would never say anything and just kept on crying, staying in that very far lone corner of the room a hand over her chest, grip tight with her knuckles turning white. Heartbreakingly sobbing and they couldn’t do at all to help her because nothing would seem to be able to comfort the young girl.

Mere words would never reach her ears, nothing ever seemed to even reach her, even with her friends’ assistance; she would remain completely soulless, still with a heavy heart, disheartened like on that very day.

Always, and always, she’s been holding things up on her own. Even when night draws close and the time of rest is reaching its peak; she would still continue on sulking without even a tear to shed, she would stare at the shadows that loom in her room as she rock herself back in forth, trying to soothe the little aches that continue to resurface in her heart.

She refuses to sleep, finding it more fearful than ever now. She would rather stay wide awake until morning than to lie down and rest as she’s grown scared of closing her eyes, fearful of that eternal darkness and the haunting dreams that would creep into her, leaving her even more fragile and restless.

One can even assume from looking at her face just how tired she is and how old she looked all of a sudden compared to her young age. Her eye bags were more noticeable, not only from crying but also from the stress she has been accumulating as of lately. Her body itself had grown thin, not of the healthy kind, but more of the alarming type that most of her clothes were too loose over her already slim figure. Her skin was paler too than was considered normal. She looked too sickly, very much a far out cry from her former self.

A lot of her friends already considered on calling out for a doctor, a psychologist in order to help out their friend, knowing how much she needs assistance more than just their support, yet each time they try to convince her, a refusal would often quickly come out of her mouth and a short insistence of “I’m fine” slipping out of her lips as the girl herself would try to muster a smile that said the opposite of the words she said. Even her eyes told another different story that only seem to make her friends worry even more.

She’s barely hanging, more likely, she’s barely even there. Nothing was left in her it seems, nothing but a shell of her former self.

Her best friend herself doesn’t even know what to do anymore, she knows the older girl well, having been childhood friends for so long, but never once had she seen the older girl in this state in the past since she would often spring back to life with an optimistic view in her mind. And she wonders why; just where did that girl go now?

It’s heartbreaking to see her best friend like this, living her life without a purpose at all; it was as if she was trying to kill herself without even actually taking out a blade. She was fading slowly and silently, and it scares her best friend a lot to know that she might actually lose the older girl in this kind of way.

It just seemed too much.

She can’t stomach to continue on seeing her living like this.

No one did, but they couldn’t do anything about it when the young teen wouldn’t help herself up. She’s not even asking for help or trying to reach out for any comfort. She’s just there, letting silence accompany her as she struggled with the pain inside her heart. With no words spoken, nor even complains, things were left unspoken with only silence continuing on and she starts missing it, the voice of her best friend, the voice of a happy cheerful her.

It’s all long gone now and she can’t do anything but to hope that time would heal and mend her best friend’s broken heart and soul because she herself is powerless, even if she knew everything about her, she wouldn’t be of any help at all.

How will you even reach someone who has long given up?

A tear slips down from the younger girl’s eyes as she stared at the lone figure of her best friend, watching her there, just near the window, staring blankly outside, drew a heart clenching ache inside her chest.

Averting her eyes for a second, the young girl wiped off the tears from her face, drawing a deep shaky breath along before she let out a cough, trying to clear off unpleasant feeling in her throat before she entered inside her best friend’s room, knocking the door softly along as she excused herself.

“Yukirin, I’m coming inside…” The girl mumbled, walking towards her best friend when she did not hear a reply of consent from the other girl, knowing that her words would never reach the older girl’s ears at all.

Glumly, she continues on walking inside the enormous room, taking quick glances to look at the tidy state inside, yet the room didn’t looked so homey as it used to be, not without the energetic happy warmth that the owner of the room once used to express freely. She’s starting to debate to herself whether the heater was even on, considering how cold it was inside the room or if it was just her unused to this large lacking warm presence that used to be her best friend.

She’s missing it a lot dearly, and it affects her a lot too because of how long they have been with another.

Stopping by just beside the older girl, just near the window, she takes a sit on the empty chair nearby, staring at Yuki before looking down, idly fiddling with her fingers and nails, trying to find the appropriate word to start up a conversation. The young teen somehow wanted to curse herself knowing how useless she is in striking up the first words in a dialogue, she’s never been too fond of taking the first step; she was the type to follow when someone else starts it and because of that, she’s having a problem now.

Even though Yuki is her best friend, she just can’t come up with something to say, not when she’s in this kind of fragile state, when almost anything can actually hurt her. Mayu fears that if she suddenly says something bad, it might just further hurt Yuki’s feelings, and right now, she’s trying to avoid that from happening.

Hurting a person who’s already in so much pain was never too good, not when their so close to breaking apart. Mayu just wishes she had some kind of ability that she could use to take half of the older girl’s pain away, but nothing like that could ever exist in reality.

There was never a quick solution for this kind of pain.

Mayu knew that all too well, she wasn’t that idiotic, but sometimes she wishes that she could mend Yuki’s broken heart than to see her continue on miserably because it just hurts to see her struggling continuous.

Everyone felt the same, but not one of them can do anything at all because the one sole person who could even do that is already gone…













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End of Chapter I
----



« Last Edit: January 01, 2013, 04:36:19 PM by Sieka »
[ Author Profile | Tumblr ]
~I also ship NMB48's SayaMilky~
~From MG3, I wave the AnniNaga shipping flag~
~Shipping hard BlackGeki, and the princess pairing, YukiRena~

Fanfics:
[ Divine Intervention || The Beauty of Love || Sieka's Collections ]
[ This Distance Between Us || (Collab) Let Love Bleed Red ]
[ Memories of the Heart ]

Status: Semi-hiatus, Semi-I-don't-know-if-want-to-come-back-now

Offline LeNosferatu

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You're quite productive in your holiday OMG a new fic!  XD Finished reading it and got some hints that Rena, being her other side of the heart, is already died? Or taken by someone else? Maa I'll be patiently waiting my answers in your next update of this  :) I sense a lot of intrigue coming in this story. Not forwardly, but more like restoring reminiscence and bringing up her memories. That's great since I mostly find angst which the problem is in the future and the following intrigues as the spices. Hope you do well and please keep writing.   :heart:
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| Kashiwagi Yuki | Hirata Rina | Yamada Nana | Shimada Rena | Yagami Kumi | Murashige Anna | Akiyoshi Yuka |

Offline stv_wong

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Finished reading it and got some hints that Rena, being her other side of the heart, is already died? Or taken by someone else?

I think so too. Mm... Sieka-san you're really are good with angst. I don't like angst that much, but sadly, angst stories are more beautiful than the others because of the words-play and the emotion and deep-feelings that are needed to make one. So... me like  :twothumbs

I'll be waiting for your update. :D

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