Check back for an edit for comment replies tomorrow, I'm sleepy~ I know the chapter is what you're more interested in anyway bahaha@risa_ai: oh the tangled love-web I've woven~ and it only gets more complicated from here on out in my opinion, so, ah, buckle your seatbelts.
@rndy: haha you definitely started a rally for the omake, at least. But no worries, I think doing it this way turned out easier in my grand scheme of things.
also holy crap I feel the need to defend Ai. Maybe gonna have to write an omake after the halfway mark to get behind her POV. -flails-
@Dswizz: I have bestowed upon thee a nickname because I'm too lazy to type the whole thing out. Besides, it's moar gangster that way~ and heh, yeah you've got Gaki-angst happening in your fic too. Happens to the best of us.
Sorry to steal your thunder on the gang bit, tho! The only reason I put that element in
Rockstar is because it is technically a spiritual successor to my old fic
Heartbeat Tempo. Actually I've borrowed several elements from HT to use here. Most are ones that never made it into that fic.
but I digress. Glad you're enjoying the story~
@Rini: I think it's fun to torture Risa because it's easy? People don't tend to put girls like Reina or Ai (unless you're kjpop
) into the same situations, I guess. See my reply to Rndy for my thoughts on Ai... Haha oh boy I've completely villainized her haven't I... And I make no promises about the ending.
@kjpop: (I need a nickname for you, bro, this ain't workin. Must establish my LOVE AND AFFECTION with fun names OKAY.) Um anyway, can I hug you?
Risa up and decided she was gonna be a badass when I started planning this story and I was like, "Okay~ <3" True story. I definitely appreciate her a lot more after writing this fic, that's for sure. And you guys have no idea how much this poll and everyone's opinions about the pairings are giving me the lulz~
I wonder what people will be saying say, four chapters or so from now... UPDATE YOUR OWN DAMN STORY! I stayed up until 2AM for y'all... (But I'm cool with it, cuz the writing bug bit me and yeah I don't sleep anyway~)
Some comment about Rndy and Rini being insane and not sleeping... The little green dot is not always telling the truth~@Koei: Long time no see! Sorry there was an avalanche of updates in your absence, I can get carried away as I think everyone is aware of by now.
-bows- no need for the -sama, bro, I'm just like everyone else. :3 all I gotta say about your comments is... Your insight is pretty spot on. ^^
(Guys I love you so much, for real, your support is fantastic and it makes me super happy. T___T thank you for supporting me and this fic!)
Chapter XIII: What I Have DoneI wasn't sure how to react to everything she'd just told me. After all, it wasn't a story full of sunshine and rainbows and I certainly understood the girl beside me now better than ever. Her surliness was nothing more than a front to hide the hurt she had endured, and maybe she was good at fooling everyone else, but from now on I knew the truth.
I chewed anxiously on my bottom lip. How was I supposed to comfort someone I barely knew, who disliked me (mildly at least), when I was terrible at it? And I figured she neither wanted or needed my pity.
The air was tense, and I could almost feel Risa's eyes burning on me as she waited. My reaction to her story would say a lot, and she seemed to be preparing herself for the worst again, almost as though she expected me to be disgusted and write her off.
I suspected a lot of people wrote her off at first glance.
Still, I was convinced every bit of her story was true. She may have been an ex-gangster and was rough around the edges, but she seemed a poor liar to begin with and I had a built-in bullshit meter that worked 98% of the time. And though she'd been obviously uncomfortable revealing all of this to me at first, I knew she was trusting me with something big. A liar wouldn't have cared.
But there was still one thing I didn't understand.
"...Did you tell all of this to Takahashi-san?" I asked quietly after a few more minutes of silence, unintentionally causing Risa to jump at the sound of my voice.
Looks like the badass bit only runs so deep..."I've tried," She responded, and for once I saw a crack in her armor, pain flooding her eyes as she stared out of the car at the city's skyline in the distance, "But every time... It just never comes out right. Either she refuses to listen or I stumble over my words and we fight... And after two years without her, I'm grateful that she's even my friend."
"But you still love her." It was a statement, not a question, and her silence confirmed it. Cue moment for me to forget tact and open mouth, insert foot. "...I think you should never stop chasing the person you love."
"Hey,
she's the one that tossed me out of her life like trash, okay?" Risa snapped back at me, her voice growing louder as she defended herself, "I was gonna do whatever it took to make her trust me again--fix things--make it right. But four months gone and she's in Sayu's bed. And now she's even chasing after
your skirt."
My face and ears grew hot and I stammered out a response, remembering the incident from the other day.
"I didn't know! I-I thought she was just being kind... And I couldn't have known what was between you two..."
"Do you like her?" Risa asked tauntingly, and I didn't know how to respond. I felt like the way I physically reacted to Ai was very different from the way my mind flew red flags at every thing she said and did and now with all of this new information in my head I just didn't know what to think. Did I respect her? Yes. Did I find her impressive? Yes. Smooth? Yes. Attractive? Yes. But did I like her? Want more from her?
My head was beginning to hurt and I couldn't come up with a coherent response, so Risa drew her own conclusions, letting out a huff of breath and leaning back in her seat.
"Of course you do. And I'm not surprised she has her eye on you, either. Innocent princess from the middle of nowhere, and ready to take on the world, like a breath of fresh air." The bassist dug around in her pockets, pulling out her lighter and a cigarette. "You two would look fuckin' perfect together. Definitely an upgrade from convict or 'exotic dancer,' that's for sure."
Sometimes I thought my sense of self-preservation may have been broken, because when she lit that cigarette I instinctively leaned over to snatch it from her hands and tossed it out the window. This brought me within close proximity to her, and I was having trouble ignoring the fact I'd brushed against her as I returned to my own seat. Risa stared at me like I was the bravest idiot in the world.
"Might as well throw yourself off a bridge if you're going to nurse that habit," I stated shakily, trying to compose myself under her fierce gaze, "Would be a quicker way to kill yourself, anyway."
Risa gave me a look that clearly said she had had enough of me for one day, and I sighed quietly as the bassist turned on the car and began driving us back to the parking lot.
----------
The chalk scraped unpleasantly along the sidewalk as Aika made various marks against it in an attempt to make a portrait of Eri in her style. The noise made the junkie twitch with every pass against the pavement, but enough of her previous high still lingered that it wasn't painful yet. Besides, she had been having a good day so far; days hanging out with Risa were always nice, and she definitely liked being around Reina. She was finding the yankii's kid sister to be an interesting character as well; the girl had a soothing presence much like her sister, and thus far Eri had been able to keep her mind off of the drugs for the majority of the time.
"Kamei-san, you're moving again." Aika scolded plainly, but when she looked up, she had a good-natured smile on her face. Eri smiled back apologetically.
"I warned you, I'm not known for sitting still."
"Well, at least I'm almost done." The artist relented, turning her attention back to the pavement. The kid had multi-colored dust all over her arms and knees now, and Eri suspected it was probably a pretty natural state for her to be in.
"Do you always carry chalk with you?"
"I always have
something with me, since you never know what you might need." Aika replied, tongue sticking out slightly as she concentrated on what she was doing, "But I tend to switch out the materials in my bag daily for a bit of variety. It forces me to work with what I've got. You can look through it if you want."
The artist gestured lazily towards the messenger bag next to Eri, who curiously dragged it to herself so she could dig inside it. Today Aika was carrying a set of watercolors, various brushes, a bottle of ink, and several sketchbooks, most of which Eri noticed were at least half full.
She pulled one of these from the bag and began to flip through it, genuinely impressed by the skill of the young girl in front of her. Most of the drawings were portraits--a random guy dozing off on a park bench, an older woman carrying groceries, a little girl playing with her new puppy--like snapshots of the world around her.
"These are very good... Is this what you wanna do with your life?" Eri questioned, looking over at the girl when she reached a blank page.
"I dunno, I think I'm still a bit young to figure something like
that out." Aika replied, rocking back to sit on her knees so she could survey her work, "Besides, mom and dad aren't so happy about it... And Rei's supportive but she wants me to finish the whole school thing right now so I guess I'll get through that first and decide."
Eri nodded in understanding, reaching beside her to pat Charles on the head. He was dead asleep all curled up on the sidewalk, paws swiping at the air as he chased some imaginary squirrel in his dreams. It was probably really nice to be a dog, having people feed you and pet you and not caring about anything. Charles was lucky.
"Well you should definitely never stop doing this." Eri mused after her mind returned to the present, "You have a gift."
Aika hopped to her feet, the faint pink that colored her cheeks unnoticed by the drummer. She would have passed it off as chalk dust anyway.
"Well... Thank you. Anyway, I'm finished."
As the artist moved off a ways to pat the dust off of her hands and clothing, the junkie rose and moved around to where she could see the work Aika had done on the ground. It was a startlingly accurate representation of herself, every contour of her face mapped out on the pavement. Even her expression was perfect, though painfully real for Eri to look at; she was smiling, but it didn't quite reach her eyes.
Is that how I always look?The familiar ache was becoming more prominent in her head, and she swallowed a bit as Aika came up beside her, anxiously awaiting her opinion.
"Well? I may have messed up a few things but I'm no master yet, after all...."
"Nah," Eri replied, fighting to ignore the tremors in her hands, "I think it's dead on."
The artist's face broke out into a happy grin, and Eri shakily sat back down on the curb as Aika collected her things, glad the girl seemed oblivious to her condition. She hoped Risa and Reina returned soon; the bassist had become eerily skilled at noticing when she was close to meltdown. Still, she gritted her teeth and tried to focus her attention on other thoughts.
"Hey, um... Kamei-san?"
"Hm? You know, you can call me Eri, I don't mind. It's not like I'm
that much older than you."
"Ah, okay. Eri... Well, it might be a weird question and you can totally say no, but..." Aika flopped down beside the older girl, tossing her chalk into her bag, "I have tickets... For the Buono! concert tomorrow night. But Reina doesn't want to go and my friend Koharu-chan is sick and, well, I don't really have any other friends, so..."
"So you're asking
me?" Eri questioned, surprised enough to temporarily forget the burning in her head. Aika fidgeted with the strap on her bag.
"I mean, you don't have to. I just thought- I liked hanging out with you today and you're cool, so..."
"Sure, I'll go." The drummer cut in with a smile, "I've been curious to see them at their own gig anyway, they've mostly just been an opening act up until now. I'll come pick you up after tomorrow's rehearsal?"
The artist nodded her head, looking equal parts relieved and excited. She began to babble on about something like what she was going to wear, when Eri heard the sound of screeching tires approaching. The red sports car came into view, grinding to a halt nearby. Risa immediately stepped out of the vehicle, looking more pissed than usual as she stalked towards the two of them.
"Get in the car. I'll be there in a second after I smoke over here so
that damn woman doesn't toss it out the window again."
The bassist continued stomping on past them and Aika and Eri watched her with the same confused expression on their faces.
"...My friend... Doesn't exactly play nice with other people all the time..." Eri explained after a moment of silence, almost as if to apologize for Risa's behavior. Aika smirked softly.
"Neither does my sister."
----------
I collapsed onto the couch when we made it home, letting out my exhaustion and frustration into the cushioned armrest in the form of a loud groan. I didn't want to think any more today; I had a headache and I couldn't process anything, and we had rehearsal early tomorrow since it was the weekend. I could hear Aika chuckling at me as she shut the door behind her.
"Well,
that was interesting. I can't wait to meet the other two."
I groaned again. There was no way in hell I would let Michishige within a mile of my sister. And then Ai... Well... Like I said, I didn't want to think any more about it.
"You and Niigaki-san seem to get along well." She continued sarcastically, lifting my feet up so that she could slide onto the couch, resting them in her lap. I started to say something to the effect of Risa getting hit by a bus for all I cared but I stopped myself. It wasn't true anyway, I was just tired and irritated.
"It's been a long day." I stated, flipping over so that I could lay on my back and face her.
"I assumed as much. Eri showed me the pics on her phone."
I closed my eyes, wincing and reminding myself to grab the drummer's cell and delete the evidence when I had the chance. Not that it would stop her from coming in and taking more pictures the next time it happened, but it would have made me feel a little better.
"By the way, she's coming with me to the concert tomorrow." Aika continued carefully, her eyes fixed on my face. Had she just said it outright I probably wouldn't have thought anything of it, but I knew my baby sister as well as she knew me, and realized she was acting a bit strange. I also knew how she was when she was crushing, and boy was she being obvious here; trying to keep her voice cool, gauging my reactions, faint blush...
Oh, but I wouldn't let her know I knew. Not yet. Payback was in order for the teasing I endured about Ai. I smiled sweetly, nodding my head.
"Sounds good. I'm sorry I'm not going myself, but after rehearsing all the time, I just want a little break from band stuff."
"Oh- no, that's fine!" Aika quickly responded, and I had to fight to keep my expression from morphing into a smirk, "I get it, you've been really busy, so I understand."
"I'm glad. You'll have a great time, I'm sure." I replied, making a mental note to bug her after the concert. Then on a more serious note, I added: "I'm sorry I've been so busy lately... With work and the band and stuff. I don't want you to feel left out or neglected or anything."
"Rei, I'm not a baby, I know you're working hard," She decided to curl up beside me, and I relaxed as she snuggled into my back. I wasn't the only one tired from working hard, apparently.
"But if you feel that way, you promise to say something, right?"
"Of course," Aika replied, stifling a yawn, "Besides, since when does anyone in our family hesitate to say what's on their mind?"
She had me there. The Tanakas were blunt and direct. Always had been. Likely always would be.
"Speaking of family..." I started, remembering what Eri had said to me during the car ride that first time we met, "What do you think mom and dad would say about all of this?"
Another loud yawn muffled against my shoulder.
"About you being in a band?"
"Yeah."
"They'd probably go psycho on you." She said with a small laugh, and I couldn't help but giggle a bit myself. "But you're an adult now after all... They'll just have to accept it, I guess."
I grunted affirmatively, but inside I wasn't all too convinced. I had no plans of calling our parents up to break the news to them, of course, but with Wild Musume being famous, it wasn't as though I could hide it forever either. I was about to ask Aika what to do when I realized her breathing had evened out, and I lifted my head to see that she had drifted off to sleep.
I smiled gently, watching her innocent face for a moment before carefully sliding out of her grasp. My baby sister may have been taller than me, but I wasn't about to let her spend the night on the couch. With great effort I collected her into my arms and moved her to her bed, rolling my eyes affectionately when she let out a snore and clung to one of her pillows. Silly kid.
I wandered into the bathroom after that, popping a couple of aspirin before dragging myself into the shower, more than happy to wash the day away.