Author Topic: Another day at H!P (Read 92002 times)

erink · « **Reply #60 on:** July 23, 2006, 09:09:57 AM »

I realize that I tend to focus on dialouge, and half ass the rest of it. Descriptions, actions, and whatnot tend to be left out. I'm going to try and work on that in the future. Hopefully it will improve the overall quality of the story, which thanks to spelling and other gramatical aspects, is lacking.

Screw it. It's staying like this.

Mikan · « **Reply #61 on:** July 24, 2006, 08:40:16 AM »

Im so happy that you posted so much! It was awesome! The hole in the wall was funny, Im sure everyone can agree. I was giggling at work all day - people thought I was nuts! Well, I am but this is a little off the subject.

Dialouge is important but personally I feel that the setting is more important. You can imagine what people say. It makes it more personalised. I dont really know the word to explain. But if you paint a picture and the characters in our imagination vividly then the dialouge isnt as important.
What is it? - A picture is worth a thousand words?
Something like that.

Sukoshi · « **Reply #62 on:** July 24, 2006, 10:39:22 AM »

Quote from: erink

I realize that I tend to focus on dialouge, and half ass the rest of it. Descriptions, actions, and whatnot tend to be left out. I'm going to try and work on that in the future. Hopefully it will improve the overall quality of the story, which thanks to spelling and other gramatical aspects, is lacking.

Don't worry about the details, afterall the dialogue you write is priceless!! I'm sure everyone would agree since we end up like this

all day long

freya86 · « **Reply #63 on:** July 24, 2006, 08:23:22 PM »

Yep, completely agree with Sukoshi! Sometimes it's better this way ... leave more to imagine for us

erink · « **Reply #64 on:** August 06, 2006, 12:13:20 PM »

Mari was making her way back down to the matenince room. She strolled down the hall humming and swinging the saw back in forth in her left hand. She arrived at her destination and opened up the plain looking door. Mari reached out for the dangling lightbulb. It illuminated the rows of metal shelves to the best of it's abillity. Mari placed the saw back on one of them. She turned on her heel and was heading back out the door when something caught her eye.
"Oh hell, why not."
Mari picked up the nearest wrench she could find and took swings at the spiderweb of pipes. She also made sure to turn and adjust knobs. For good measure of course.

erink · « **Reply #65 on:** August 06, 2006, 12:23:30 PM »

Niigaki returned to her room after her "date" with Takahashi. Crying. She barely managed to make it up to her room without having a breakdown. And once she did make it, she completely lost it. She sat down on the floor and leaned up against the wall. After 10 minutes or so a long, slender, arm it's way through the hole above her head, holding a bottle of alcohol.

erink · « **Reply #66 on:** August 06, 2006, 12:41:07 PM »

Soon Risa was telling her life story to Miki. Throughout it all Miki kept nodding, then after realizing they couldn't see each other, started giving comments like "yeah" and "uh huh". In about 2 hours Risa was smashed and, after Miki telling her to come back the her tramatic grade school experience with duck, had finally reached the events of tonight that had lead her to be so upset. It's not that Miki particaularly cared. It's just that this had the potential to be better than the b-movie she planed on watching.
"So then" Risa ocasionally sniffled between words "She said that I had no idea what SHE was going through!"
Miki could hear Risa take another swig from the bottle.
"Can you belive that!"
Risa's maniacal laughter caused Miki to glare at/through the wall. Suddenly it stopped.
"Oh nooooo. NO no NO no nnnnooooo"
"What?" Miki asked.
"Miki this is badd. Real bad."
There was a pause in which Risa tried to put her thoughts into some sort of logical statement.
"Breakfast. SOON!"
Miki waited.
"Yeah, and?"
"I'm not allowed to drink. Remember that time they and she then we all and they said I couldn't drink anymore."
Miki lightly banged her head off the wall. She was right. When people found out Miki was the one that got Risa drunk, she'd be in trouble. Miki rubbed at her nose.
"Don't worry." she proclaimed with confidence. "I'll just get so drunk that no one will even notice that you are drunk."
She looked at the clock she had over five hours until they gathered for breakfast, but Miki wouldn't need that.

erink · « **Reply #67 on:** August 06, 2006, 12:48:31 PM »

Ishikawa woke to screaming. Loud screaming.
"The hell." She rubbed her head and checked the digital clock at her night stand. The next sound she heard was Maki, and then Nakazawa. She wasn't sure if it was Maki, but she was certain it was Nakazawa.
"YOSHIZAWA HITOMI! SOMEONE BETTER BE IN THERE MURDERING YOU RIGHT NOW! IF NOT I'M GOING TO! DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!?"
What followed were more yells, then a loud thud, cursing that the entire floor could hear, and one other thing the entire floor could hear. Mari's laughing.

erink · « **Reply #68 on:** August 06, 2006, 01:00:57 PM »

Yoshizawa rolled out of bed and did some light stretching to wake herslef up. The normal routine. She threw off her pajamas and jumped in the shower. She was half way through shampooing her hair when the water became scalding hot. She let out an uncharecteristic scream. The water continued to jump up and down and temperature.
"YOSHIZAWA HITOMI! SOMEONE BETTER BE IN THERE MURDERING YOU RIGHT NOW! IF NOT I'M GOING TO! DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS!?"
She was fumbiling trying to get the knob off. Her hand kept sliping, and then her shampoo got in her eyes, causing even more yelling. She decided to just bail. Her atempt to jump out of the tub was unsuccessful. It wasn't and jump, it was flat out fall right onto the tile. She started cursing the second she hit the floor. and the she heard it. Mari laughing.

erink · « **Reply #69 on:** August 06, 2006, 01:05:25 PM »

Ishikawa steped out of her room to see a wet and soapy Yossie towering above Mari, who made no attempt to hide her amusement.
"seniority" Mari said.
"Ah screw it! Lets just go get breakfast." Nakazawa threw her arms in the air and stomped off down the hall. She was followed by the others except for Yossie. She made her way over to Ishikawa.
"Need your shower. Move." She pushed her aside.
"Hey! I need to use it too!"
Yossie kept walking.
"If you wanna use it so bad just come in there with me. We're both girls."
Ishikawa shrugged and followed her into the bathroom.

erink · « **Reply #70 on:** August 06, 2006, 01:17:35 PM »

Miki and Risa finally arrived at breakfast. It was a fairly long journey that had taken them the better part of a half hour. They particularly had trouble with doors. But it was all over now. They had made it to their destination. Miki swaggered into the room, walking directly into a chair halfway in and proceeding to topple over it. All eyes were on her. Aya was standing a few feet away holding a tray filled with food, and the regulars where all at their normal tables. She made her way to Aya, with what she considered minor diffuculty. She stopped a foot away from her. She reached out her right hand and slapped her. Keeping her hand on her check after the hit. She then did the same with her left. With both hands on her cheeks Miki leaned in and kissed Aya right on the lips. She pulled back after a few seconds.
"Chuuuuuu!"
"Oh! My! God! I love my life!' Mari proclaimed from the back table as Aya stood there, completely shocked. Miki felt a smile form on her face. She was triumphant. Her plan was a success. She had made such a scene that no on would even notice Niigaki. And it was true. No on would have noticed Niigaki.....

If she had put a shirt on.

erink · « **Reply #71 on:** August 06, 2006, 01:37:43 PM »

'I can still save this. I totally got it.' Miki thought to herself. She and Risa went over and sat down at the long table. Everyone's attention imediately went to Risa. Risa, who was so square she had to be begged to but bikini shots in her photobook, and even then trew a towel over her the second the shot was taken, was calmly sitting at the breakfast table with a pair of sweatpants on a a white and red polka dot bra. Miki looked over at her.
"Oh yeah! Yeah yeah. It's so hot in here!"
"The air conditioner it on. It's not hot in here." Nakazawa shot her down.
Miki wasn't quite sure what to do. But she figured she should totally comit herself if she already went this far.
"Oh, so it's not." She said casually. "But you are."
She widened her eyes and looked directly at Yuuko, well she looked at one of the Yuuko's that she saw.
"You're the one that needs an air conditioner." She added, as if an after thought. She looked over at Niigaki who was looking down at her boobs. Then she quickly lifted up her own shirt and looked around the table.
'hell yeah' Miki thought to herself.
"I think one's bigger than the other." Niigaki stated to no one in particular.
There was a silence.
'ahhh I almost had it' Miki thought.
"I think it just seems that way" Kei ventured.
"Yeah, like you know what you're talking about" Yuuko shot back.
Mari was next to join in.
"You know, I always thought mine were too. Look" She lifted up her shirt.
"No, I don't know." Nacchi said.
Next was Ishikawa.
"Well, mine are the cutest" She said happily displaying her hot pink bra.
"I'm the number one cutest here!" Sayumi shouted, walking over to the long table with her shirt already off.
"Listen, I came first. I was the cutest at everything. Then after I left you came in and tried to fill my hot pink shoes, but it didn't work. I will always win. I'm the cutest. Therefore mine are the cutest."
"Can boobs even be cute?" Mari asked. "Its like answers to exams and math, can it really be cute?"
"I think the right term is 'Nice" Kaori offered.
Several nodded.
"Well Gocchin's are the nicest then" Yuuko said pointed down the table to her.
"Nuh uh" Goto denied shaking her head.
"How can you say that, they're huge!" Yuuko continued."They're in the room before you are!"
Goto paused for a moment.
"Well Saito's are probably bigger."
"Saito!" Yuuko called. "Show us your boobs!"
Provocation, was one thing Saito didn't need. She left her chopsticks in her mouth and pulled up her shirt.
While the comparisons continued and more joined in a beautiful voice in the back of the room and the enterence said
"Thats it. I'm leaving."

erink · « **Reply #72 on:** August 06, 2006, 01:41:34 PM »

Maeda Yuki had been toying with the idea of leaving Hello Pro for ages. She just could never bring her self to commit. She wanted to go to an agency for enka, where she could actually contirbute more than something every few years. But she had a very nice deal here, even if she didn't get to sing that much. As the beautiful morning sun shone in through the glass windows, warming her back, she continued to the breakfast room. Her mind kept weighing the pros and cons like it had for a very long time. When she reached the entrance to the room and looked up. She imedately decided.
"Thats it. I'm leaving."

Mikan · « **Reply #73 on:** August 06, 2006, 02:34:53 PM »

BEST CHAPTERS EVER! *turns on the printer* this is going to my folder collection. That whole boob this was just pure classic. I laughed so loud I drew a small crowd. Oh gosh, thats great. Words cant describe!

I love you Erink, I really do!!!

lil_hamz · « **Reply #74 on:** August 06, 2006, 04:53:10 PM »

At first I thought Night Day 3 was funny. Then I read Morning Day 4 which was absolutely hilarious. I don't remember anything after that cuz I was laughing so hard. I think I need soundproof walls before people start thinking I'm crazy

About your style, alls good. I think its pretty great

JFC · « **Reply #75 on:** August 06, 2006, 07:33:40 PM »

The boob bit = GOLD!

Seagull · « **Reply #76 on:** August 06, 2006, 08:18:14 PM »

OMG, sooo funnt *fall of chair*
I love when Mari askes "Can bobbs even be cute??"
*laughs*

Mikan · « **Reply #77 on:** August 10, 2006, 01:40:47 AM »

Where are you man? I need another hilarious story of yours!
JUST STICK IT TO MY VEINS!!

erink · « **Reply #78 on:** August 10, 2006, 02:37:25 AM »

Oi! I told you to stay in your box, I'll feed you later! You'll get your update tomorrow.....junkie.

Mikan · « **Reply #79 on:** August 10, 2006, 02:39:32 AM »

*crawls away to her box*
grrrr~