Another day at H!P

[rndmnwierd]

Whoo! My first post in this thread. First let me just say this: I love this random hilarity. And ^ is pretty much what I did throughout the whole time I read this.


More please! Thank you!

[erink]

"Well, you know, I thought about it, and I realized that staying here is what's best for me."
Maeda sat at a table with the Melons, showing her melons in an elegant bra. Half of the other girls were showing theirs' too. After yesterday, everyone reached a new level of openness with the other girls of H!P. They reached a new level of insanity too, but who's really paying attention? Goto and Miki sat facing each other at the long table in the back.

"How'd you get that drunk?" questioned Maki, leaning over her yogurt.
"You know how every once and awhile you give us that alcohol?"
Maki shuddered. Every so often the liquor used for cooking and drinking at her family's resturant was mixed together and given to whoever was brave/stupid enough to drink it. Many in Hello Pro felt up to the challenge of drinking it, and that resulted in some of the most entertaining nights/days/weeks some of the girls have seen or heard of.
"You know, it's really amazing. I mean, I knew I was drunk, but there was still some thought going on. And today when I woke up I was completely fine. Well, everynow and then my vision gets funky and I get this shooting pain in my side, oh, and my ankle hurts, but other than that. I'ts all good."
Goto grimaced. She had a vague idea as to why her ankle hurt. Just then they overheard Takahashi and Niigaki chating excitedly with Abe.
"I thought they were fighting" Goto said, looking over at them.
"They were, but then Takahashi came and appologized last night."
Goto nodded.

A litte ways down the table Takahashi and Niigaki were telling Abe about the scary movie they had watched last night.
"Listen, I don't care how scary the movie was, you shouldn't have come to me wanting to stay in my room." Abe shook her head in a disapproving maner. "A scary movie is just that. A movie. You two shouldn't be ridiculous."
At that comment Yaguchi and Iida shot each other a questioning glance. Abe? Abe was lecturing about not being scared? What's this madness? Yaguchi and Iida sat listening to the conversation with mild amusment. When Abe and the girls left they looked at each other.
"Shall we teach her a lesson?" Mari asked.
"We shall." Iida responded.

[erink]

"Are you sure?"
"Of course I'm sure!" Mari responded.
"Listen, can't we come up with anything else?"
"No!"
Iida and Mari were busy in one of the storage rooms. Random boxes were being pulled from shelves and racks were being looked through.
"Ah! Bingo!" Mari yelled. Iida moved from her lookout post at the door.
"Here!"
"Ah, come on! Why do I always get the yellow one?"
"Because it makes you look ridiculous, now lets go!"
The girls made their was back to Kaori's room trying to look inconspicuous. Once inside they quickly changed.
"Now, if we go through this hallway, we should make it without detection."
They quietly opened Iida's door, Mari looked up and down and gave the all clear sign. The girls stepped out.
"WHoo-hooo! Oh baby! How the hell didn't you get into GAM with those?"
Iida and Mari turned around to see Yuuko standing in the hallway.
"I thought you said all clear?" Kaori said with anger creeping into her voice.
"Clear enough." Mari retorted, making no attempt to hide her smile.
"What are you two doing in that get up?"
"Going to scare Nacchi!" Mari proclaimed.
"Oh, Oh! Let me come with you!" Yuuko said excitedly.
They all paused, remembering past experiences. Yuuko did infact come with them to scare Nacchi once. But halfway through, Yuuko got tired of waiting in the closet, and after much complaining and yelling, left to go drinking. She just hapened to leave at the exact time Abe was entering, resulting in a confrontation and wasted effort on Kaori and Mari's part. As if their minds VTR 's were sync'd, all looked at each other at the sametime with the same thought.
"You know, if I go, I'm just going to get frustrated and go drinking. So I should just save myself the time and frustration and go drinking now."
With that Yuuko walk past the two of them and towards the exit.

[erink]

Ishikawa knocked on Goto's door. In a few seconds Goto stuck her head through the opening.
"Oh.Rika." Goto said, with a suprised look.
"Hi. I was wondering if you still had my skirt."
Goto stayed excatly how she was, making no movement whatsoever. She then started to look around.
"You don't remember do you?"
Goto looked Ishikawa straight in the eyes.
"The red one with the stars..." Rika continued, hoping to get somewhere with this.
After another 5 minutes of silenced.
"I used it to put out the yaniku when it cought on fire last month" Goto trailed off.
"Unsqueaky, Summer catoluge, page 34, small."
"Expect it in 3 to 4 business days."
With that Ishikawa turned and start down the hall and Goto closed the door.

[asheravel]

lmaoo funny fic >.<

[erink]

Kaori and Mari stood infront of Nacchi's door, whispering.
"You know, I really hate doing this."
"It's so hard to tell! She has her eyes half open when she sleeps."
"Excactly! Remember when we had it all planed and we walked in and she said 'hi'?"
"Yeah!"
"Well, It's been a few hours so she definately has to be."
"Yep, lets go!"
And with that the two quitely crept into the darkness.

[erink]

When Nacchi's scream echoed throughout the building, many things happened. Some members woke from their sleep. Murata, who was in the process of getting changed, clenched her fist from the shock of it, and ended up breaking her glass es she had just removed. Tsuji nearly choked on her midnight snack of eight layer ice cream. Niigaki started screaming too. Takahashi, always one to follow the group, started screaming also. Miki started to curse like a salior and hit Niigaki through the hole. Yuuko rolled over. Kei went out to the hall and screamed that she had rehersals for her play the next day, to no one in particular. And at the end of this chain of events, Mari and Kaori started laughing.

[erink]

Kaori stood on the left and Mari on the right of Nacchi's bed. They both looked at each other and nodded.
In unison they moth mouthed a barely audible "Ready, 1,2,3"
Then, in their deepest most terrifying vocies they could produce they yelled, while jumping on top of Nacchi's bed
"ECOMONI!!!"

[erink]

"ECOMONI!!"
The second Nacchi reacted she was shocked by what she saw.....Kappa? They were pink and yellow, one tiny and one huge and they were jumping on her bed and yelling in deep vocies. Nacchi did the only thing she could do. Let out a scream of epic proportions. About three minutes into her frantic screaming and crying the entire floor was yelling too. By then she realized it was Mari and Kaori wearing the old Minimoni costumes, but she still coudn't stop. When she finally did, Mari and Kaori, who had been laughing the whole time, calmly said good night and left.

[YoukaiChica]

You just keep spewing out chapters! That's ok though. BRING ON THE SPEWAGE!!!!

[erink]

Essentially all the girls were gathered in the cafeteria the next morning. The long table only had seats with the back to the wall, all lined up in a row. The other tables had been moved to form coloms with all the chairs placed so those sitting in them were facing the long table head on. Girls were attentivley seated at theese tables, with food, and papers neatly arranged. At the long table, sat the 'Leaders'. Yuuko was dead center, as she always seemed to be. On her left sat Nacchi, and on her right Kaori. Saito was sitting next to Kaori, Yoshizawa next to Nacchi. Tsuji was next to Saito and Ishikawa next to Yoshizawa.  Asami was next to Tsuji and Inaba(acting as leader of the Soloists) was next to Ishikawa. They all had folders and papers neatly infront of them. Over to the right(if standing to the back of the room) was a large projector, that was next to Inaba. At the other tables, members were seated acording to senority.

"So, moving on from the unpleasantness some of you experienced last night. It is time to discuss the main reason we are gathered this morning. Kana 06."

[Elle_Driver]

Those Ecomoni jokes are priceless

Yuuko rolled over. Kei went out to the hall and screamed that she had rehersals for her play the next day, to no one in particular.

Lmao after reading these lines.

[Mikan]

Ahaha! I laughed so hard I drew a small crowd. Ahhhhhh my daily shot...

[erink]

You're getting more than a daily shot! You asked for it, and you're getting it. A big massivie update.

[erink]

The Hello Project gals tended to go all out on celebrations, particularly Birthday parties. But there was one celebration like no other. It topped all holidays, all, well everything. It was Kana. Iida Kaori was born on August 8th, Abe Natsumi on the 10th. Kana was the 9th. Kana was the joint celebration of the girls birthdays happening after Kaori's and before Nacchi's. It was the party. The only party. Infamous to the entire entertainment industry. Nothing compared to Kanna. People went to work months in advance for Kana. Members began grueling physical training for it as far back as feburary. While some started a week after last years. In May, the respective leaders began planing for Kana'06. Yuuko was overseeing all preperation. She was the leader of the board. Saito was incharge of random supplies. It was her job to make sure the most random objects one could imagine were on hand for Kana, because you really never did know. Yoshizawa was in charge of finances. A job she tended to delegate to those with better math skills.  Tsuji was handling transportation. Ishikawa handled awareness. It was her job to help those new to Kana to prepare themselves. She was also the self appointed Happiness leader. Asami was took care of 'enhancing'. She studied previous Kana's and researched on her own to make this years Kana the better than the rest. Inaba was in charge of locations.

[bluekinoko]

Im laughing. Yay! More updates!

[erink]

Nakazawa cleared her throat. She lifted up one of her paper's.
"Right, as you all know, today is the 7th of August. Soon our beloved Kaorin and Nacchi will be turning 25. As is tradition we have all gathered on today, the 7th, to discuss everything, review our final plans, and adress certain issues regarding this year's Kana. Tradition. It's what brings us together and makes us feel close year after year."
"Thats not the traditon," Kei inturrupted. "I'ts the alcohol." Yuuko shot her a terrifying glare. She then regained her calm deminor and look at the crowd.
"The paper's infront of you show previous topics we covered in the four meetings that occurred earlier in the year."
Various girls leaned in to get a closer look at the paper.
"So, lets start with Inaba, who was incharge of locations."
Inaba stood up and bowed.
"Yes, so for this years Kana I have worked closely with Tsuji" At this point Inaba gestured over to Tsuji and she gave a nod and smile." and Asami" the same thing happened.
"I looked for locations that would be able to provide excactly what we were looking for, and for those who would actually take us back." She shuffled some papers in front of her.
"Asami took care of some research for venues which helped me in my decision." She looked up. "Makoto?"
Ogawa, who was in charge of the projector/computer for today's meeting, pressed some buttons and the screen flicked to life with a map of Tokyo. Inaba stood up and moved over to the projector. She picked up a metal pointer that was resting on the wall.
"So I narrowed this years Kana location to the clubs you see here." Suddenly red circles appeared on the map.
"They all cater to the needs of a Kana this size quite well. I have personally been to each venue and am quite satisfied."
Inaba then pointed to each circle individually and said the name of the club. She then returned to her seat.
Nakazawa looked satisfied. She took another glance at her paper.
"Goto?"
Goto, who was sitting in the front row nodded.
"Yes, for this year's dinner, after discussing the matter with Tsuji, we decided that it would be too hard transportation wise to get everyone to the family resturant."
When Goto finished that sentence, she looked over at Tsuji who nodded.
"Realistically," Tsuji began "Trainsportation arrangements for this years Kana have been quite dificult. I feel that getting everyone to the resturant for dinner will add unnesseccary complications."
"Yes, so this year we will have the resturant cater the dinner here."
"That way it will only take a very short trip here."
"Yes, and I have it arranged so that at dinner time we are at a club very close in location to here." Inaba added.
"Good work." Yuuko said.

[erink]

"Let's discuss transportation next" Nakazawa said.
"I have arranged for vehicles to take us. There is only one club that we would need to take a train. Now for the train, by that time it's very realistic to assume most guest would be smashed. I, personally, do not want to be responsible for an incident like the of Kana 2003."

Tsuji wasn't in charge of transportation in 2003. In fact she only got to participate in half of Kana '03 because of the person that was.  Mari thought it'd be a good idea to soley use trains as that years transportaion method. It sounded good in theory, but around 26 drunk girls trying to get on the right trains throught an entire night, in actual practice, just didn't work. Some just gave up and threw a party at the station, while others, ended up in different prefuctures. Miki, in particular, rode the C line all throughout Tokyo the entire night and well into the next day. Speaking of drinking, the underage girls, aren't nessaccarily allowed to. They come just to experience all that is Kana. But at some point in the night rules don't matter. Mostly everyone at Kana ends up drunk. Some end up other things. But there is a meeting going on.

Mari shrugged. "The club we will be at when we need to take the train. I picked a time that gives us a clear advantage. The main train will take us to the club, but there will also be five other trains only 10 to 20 minutes behind the first one so if you miss it you can still catch one.So, the vehicles. Ishikawa arranged color groups for everyone. If you manage to stay in your color group, or at least some group, there will be a vehicle waiting for you."
"Good." Nakazawa finished.
"Next up Saito"

[erink]

"right" Saito said. "I've gotten everything."
Yuuko looked at her. "Everything?" she repeated.
"Yeah, everything. Stuff we needed or wanted past times, plus new things. I got it all."
"Alright. That was easy enough."
"I left everything with Rescue."
It was tradition in Kana that Rescue was made up of those way to young to drink. As the years went on, and they became legal, or at least close to it, they joined the rest of the girls.
"Ah, Rescue leaders?" Yuuko called out looking at one of her papers.
Suddenly Yuuko's cell phone rang.
"One moment." The room remained silent as she fliped open the display.
"Hello?"

[erink]

"Hello?"
"Hello!!Yuuko? Is that you?"
Yuuko had a look of disbelief on her face. The person on the other end of the line was obviously in a crowded area. There was a lot of background noise, but the voice was loud, clear, frantic, cheerful, and completely unmistakable.
"Listen," It continued. "I'm on my way, don't, DON'T, start anything without me."
The person on the other end clearly sounded like they were running.
"I'm gonna get on the next flight. I'm at the airport right now! They tried. They really did. But I got them this year! I'm going UGH" The phone picked up the sounds of a struggle and fighting in Chinese.
"NO! NO! YUUKO I'M COMING! I'LL MAKE IT!!"
The yelling in Chinese continued and became more frantic.
"NO DON'T START! NO STARTING!! I'M COMING! I'M COM-" There was one final yell in Chinese before the phone disconected. Yuuko closed her phone. Every year since leaving Hello Project and the country, RuRu had tried, to no avail, to make it back for Kana. Every year, her managers had foiled all atempts. Even a particularly clever one involving a bag of skittles. Each year her plans became more and more elaborate, and each year management stepped it up a notch to make she she stayed right in China.  After a particularly violent atempt in 2005 RuRu's agency had to have an extremely large team of airport security take her down. Despite her size, this was Kana, she would fight to the death to come back for it. RuRu  ocasionally abandoned elaborate, and went for flat out 'so obvious they won't expect it' every few years. Yuuko couldn't understand what RuRu was yelling about, but she could imagine that it wasn't anything nice. Her guess was that all the sound effects, particularly the shattering of what sounded to be a very large object made of glass and the thuds, were just another foiled atempt to return to the land of the rising sun.
Yuuko looked up at the girls gathered in front of her.
"RuRu won't be joining us this year."
There were many crys of dissapointment. A few in the back couldn't hear her that well over it.
"Wait. what now?" Someone in the back asked.
Goto turned around. "RuRu's not coming!" Her voice was filled with sadness.
The ones who didn't hear it the first time started to mourn and the ones who already knew started to get even more upset.
"Who's RuRu?" Momoko, who was way in the back with the rest of rescue asked.
Suddenly everything came to a crashing halt. Everyone's attention shifted to the young girls at the back of the room.
"Get Rescue out of here before I get them out of Hello Pro!" Yuuko shouted. "No respect for those that came before you!"