JPHiP Forum

The Hello! Project Fanfics => H!P Fanfics => Topic started by: xmacookiex on March 17, 2011, 08:47:19 AM

Title: Untitled Trailer 3/17
Post by: xmacookiex on March 17, 2011, 08:47:19 AM
Nice to meet you all!  :welcome
First time attempting to write a fanfic. I'm planning to continue on with this but I'm slow.


Trailer

From my memories..that person was there. Whenever I had a hard time, needed a shoulder to cry on. But when I didn’t know what to do..

That person..disappeared.

Where did you go?

Why..?

Since 2009, where are you now?

“If you’re not an idiot, there’s no way you wouldn’t know how I feel.”

“I want to hold onto you tightly.”

“Eri..”

Now its time to say goodbye.



:smhid So disappointed with myself ):
This is beyond short! I think probably..maybe I would have to make it longer or make trailer part 2? Suggestions?
Excuse my horrible grammar and feel free to correct me. 
Title: Re: Untitled Trailer 3/17
Post by: rndmnwierd on March 17, 2011, 04:02:00 PM
Take your time. That's my suggestion. If you think it's too short, then add some more.
Title: Re: Untitled Trailer 3/17
Post by: badsaints on March 17, 2011, 04:12:11 PM
New fic!

Someone missing the turtle? Wonder who could it be? :?
Title: Re: Untitled Trailer 3/17
Post by: Sukoshi on March 18, 2011, 11:16:51 AM
Welcome to the forum!

I'm intrigued since this is a story about our dear turtle.   :thumbup

It's okay to leave the trailer as is but I would suggest that you start writing chapter 1?  Chapter 1 can still be short but I think it's important to get the ball rolling....a second trailer will just slow you down XD  plus a fickle reader like me would start running for the hills XD  (sometimes writers have a very hard time writing a synopsis/summary/trailer...where as the actual story writing just flows out with ease.)

but anyways it's just a suggestion...
Feel free to do what you feel comfortable with and just have fun writing  :D
Title: Re: Untitled Trailer 3/17
Post by: kano-chan on March 19, 2011, 02:10:08 AM
Hey, it's good for your first time! I think it's interesting~ :thumbsup

Could that be Reina missing Kame? :roll:

And your name is really familiar.. I think I saw it on... Youtube? XD
Title: Re: Untitled Trailer 3/17
Post by: lil_hamz on March 27, 2011, 10:14:32 AM
I'm gonna follow this just cuz the starting, although short is already so good. And of course with Eri as one of the leads (I'm guessing) makes me love the fic even more. I have to confess something. I thought untitled trailer meant you made a trailer which you didn't name yet. I didn't know that it was the name of your fic ^^; I'm such a baka XD