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AKB48 Fanfics => AKB48 Fanfics => Topic started by: sakura_drop_ on February 29, 2012, 04:58:04 PM

Title: My Beautiful. Chapter 2 [01/15] <AtsuYuu, MariMii, other couples undecided>
Post by: sakura_drop_ on February 29, 2012, 04:58:04 PM
INDEX

A Drastic Change


My Beautiful




1st Trailer of 'A Drastic Change'

A Drastic Change: Trailer (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ehAI-8E2yjg#ws)
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: Trailer
Post by: iloveakb48 on February 29, 2012, 05:38:05 PM
Yey !!!!looking forward for it!!!
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: Trailer
Post by: ichikawa on February 29, 2012, 06:01:45 PM
Interesting trailer  :w00t:
Looking forward it~   :D
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: Trailer
Post by: XxRoByNxX78 on February 29, 2012, 06:39:24 PM
omg cant wait!!
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: Trailer
Post by: kahem on February 29, 2012, 07:40:27 PM
Ho ho seems really interesting
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: Trailer
Post by: Megumi on February 29, 2012, 09:37:51 PM
:shock: OH MY GAA! :dizzy:  WHAT IS THIS!!!!!  :ding:

Can't wait!!!!  :nya: :nya:
Looking forward to read it!  :glasses:

Arígatou!  :kneelbow:
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: Trailer
Post by: sakura_drop_ on March 01, 2012, 04:34:55 PM
A Drastic Change: Trailer 2 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voaxHRWnWw4#ws)
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: Trailer 2
Post by: Sieka on March 01, 2012, 04:42:07 PM
As they say, "Curiosity kills the cat." And to be frank, I'm playing the cat part and want to open the bag. :lol:
You're teasing us quite a lot, I'm already anticipating what kind of plot this would be. I'm already dreading yet wanting to see the prologue or the first chapter. I want to know who are the main characters and what are the pairs already....

Are you going to make us all way for so long? I'll just have to play along if that is how it goes, I quite like it when the anticipation builds up, it fuels the excitement. ;)

Looking forward to when you'll post the story, sakura-san. :)
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: Trailer 2
Post by: Megumi on March 02, 2012, 12:50:32 AM
 :shock: First trailer I tough it was gonna be like lovely-dovely fluff or something  :rofl:

And the the 2nd trailer!  :on blackhole: What is this?! Angst?! Horror? Thriller?

Faints of over excitement...
Can't wait can't wait!  :tantrum:

 :kneelbow: Arígatou!
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: Trailer 2
Post by: SharkAttack on March 02, 2012, 05:25:42 AM
Ohh???? What mysterious trailers.... I wonder what's gonna happen!!!  :w00t:
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: Trailer 2
Post by: haruhi16 on March 02, 2012, 05:50:59 AM
LOL with those trailers, it feels like 'A Drastic Change' story is going to have a movie for real and it's like that movie is going to be release in cinemas worldwide. lol It felt like it. But i can't deny that i'm also anticipating what will be the story like, i'm really damn curious!

The trailers reminds of a vampire love story or something that involves people with powers or a really tragic incident. The music sounds so depressing and it makes me think that it's going to be a really sad love story. Well, you don't have any intention to break our hearts, right? Sakura-san?

Update soon.
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: Trailer 2
Post by: sakura_drop_ on March 02, 2012, 11:07:36 AM
Quote
"Hahahaha!" she laughed fakely, then suddenly stopped and looked fiercely at the poor beaten guy, then with a smirk at the two women by her side. "Kill him."

A Drastic Change

coming soon @JPH!P
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: Teaser
Post by: kahem on March 02, 2012, 11:57:10 AM
Wow now it seems dark, I just hope it's not horror.
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: Teaser
Post by: sakura_drop_ on March 03, 2012, 12:10:26 PM
Quote
"Why are you not working?!"
"Ah, president-san, sumimasen..."
"And you, manager-san, hurry to my office, we got things to discuss."
She noticed flowers on manager's desk and raised her eyebrow. What's this..? Didn't her manager said she's not interested in guys?


A Drastic Change

coming soon @JPH!P
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: Teaser 2
Post by: ichikawa on March 03, 2012, 05:24:11 PM
You are killing me with curiosity !!!!!  :mon tantrum2: :mon tantrum2:
Can't wait for your first chapter ~  :mon headbang: :mon headbang:
Update soon~  :mon innocent: :mon innocent:
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: Teaser 2
Post by: sakura_drop_ on March 04, 2012, 02:48:26 AM
Quote
"It's auntie!!!"
"Hehe, I brought you melon pans and some milk."
"Yay!!!"
The kids started to eat and talk vividly. The two women went a bit further from them and sat down on a bench.
"Thanks."
"You're welcome."
"So...how's work?"


A Drastic Change

coming soon @JPH!P
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: Teaser 3
Post by: sakura_drop_ on March 04, 2012, 02:02:59 PM
Quote
"Doctor! Doctor!" the nurse ran in while panting, fear written all over her face.
"Yes?"
"THAT patient! She escaped again!!"
"Are security men chasing after her?"
"Yes... I already informed the special guards, patrolling the gates."
"She's still in this territory, right?"
"Yes."
"Good." doctor smiled sadly. "Then she'll be brought back to her cell in no time. And her condition, before the escape?"
"Her usual, not the calm one."
"Then I guess we should prepare for emergency treatment. Poor guards. Let's hope no one dies..."


A Drastic Change

coming soon @JPH!P
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: Teaser 4
Post by: sakura_drop_ on March 05, 2012, 11:25:53 AM
Quote
The church was not very big, as it was located in a small village.
At this time of day there was just a beautiful girl, wearing black dress with white collar.
She had a rosary around her neck.
She was praying.
Suddenly a very cute girl with ponytails and a pink dress barged into the church while skipping and singing some song.
The praying girl frowned and turned to her cousin.


A Drastic Change

coming soon @JPH!P
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: Teaser 5
Post by: Spicy Sapphire on March 05, 2012, 03:08:14 PM
Damn~ I'm really curious about this.   :bleed eyes:
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: Teaser 5
Post by: sakura_drop_ on March 12, 2012, 09:36:54 PM
Quote
"Nee nee, have you heard the latest news?"
"About some transfer student?"
"Un. I heard her father was a priest."
"Say what?"
"That's not all. I heard people saying she's very innocent and cute."
"..poor girl.. Does she know that this school is not for sweet girls...?"
"Well, it's not our problem if she gets beaten, is it?"
"Of course not. Anyway, ..."


Drastic Change

coming soon @ JPH!P
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: Teaser 6 (the last teaser!)
Post by: Megumi on March 13, 2012, 01:15:47 PM
 :panic: Oh my Gawd!

The last teaser...is it about Black?
I'm totally guessing randomly now...can't wait for it!
Arígatou! :kneelbow:
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: Teaser 6 (the last teaser!)
Post by: chuppachup on March 13, 2012, 01:34:20 PM
all this teaser make me really curious????

Looking forward to it

1 chapter please:)
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: Teaser 6 (the last teaser!)
Post by: sakura_drop_ on June 01, 2012, 10:39:38 AM
Okay, so finally I'm able to update this story. Though it's just the Preface, and I don't know when I'll post the first Chapter, because I'm busy... And I'm a troll....  :tantrum: (I'm feeling like Geki in BuraGeki no Ichinichi, rolling on the bed lazily, hehe)

Anyway, first I'll answer the comments.

Thank you everyone for taking interest in this fanfic. I hope you like it..  :banghead: :banghead:

@iloveakb48, ichikawa, XxRoByNxX78, chuppachup: thanks for taking interest  :bow:
@kahem, haru9210: I hope it will be this interesting when you read further on....  :nervous thanks for taking interest
@Megumi: it's a fanfic, dearie  :nervous :nervous But if for real, then you'll see later, what's this all about  ;) thanks for taking interest
@Sieka, SpicySapphire: Sieka-sama... I'm glad you're curious... I hope I won't disappoint you with the story.... Yes, I'm going to make you wait for a long time, hehe  :twisted: :twisted: thanks for taking interest
@SharkAttack, haruhi16: you'll see LATER...  :hehehe: thanks for taking interest

So, here we go, Preface for you, my dear readers...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Preface

Have you ever wondered how your life changes when you meet someone special?
I have.
Because after I met that someone special, my life changed drastically.
I was sucked in a twirl of such twists and turns that made me realize I have a side of me I never thought existed.
I always thought it’s not possible to have a side you have no idea of having.
But I do have it.
And I found out about it just because I had to undergo a drastic change.

At that moment it felt like the time stopped for me.
Our eyes locked in a gaze of surprise, amusement, sudden appearance of sexual tension.
Everything around us became non-existent.
There were only two of us in the whole world for those few seconds.
And though it were just those few seconds, it was enough for me to understand what I needed in my life to be happy.
It was HER.
That special person I was destined to meet.
But I never knew it would change my life in such a way, that it affected also those around me.
Now I am in a crossroad.
What to do?
Where to go?
How to live further?
I remember how it all started so innocently...


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

All prefaces are short, aren't they?..  :dunno:
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: Preface [06/01]
Post by: Nakamii on June 01, 2012, 03:26:02 PM
Did I just saw a word called 'Sexual Tension'? LOL. Not like it really matter, anyway. :P Btw, It's Interesting. I'm looking forward to the Continuation.
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: Preface [06/01]
Post by: Megumi on June 01, 2012, 11:56:59 PM
 :shocked oh dear...what's with the sexual tension?!  :rofl:

Ahhh more more more
:kneelbow:
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: Preface [06/01]
Post by: bochang on June 02, 2012, 04:52:10 AM
just saw it and..
'O'

it's so cool!! the idea to make a teaser video is so cool!!!
i should learn how to make it!! IT's so coool!!!

and yeah, i'm still wondering about the pairing, the story, everything, since you haven't released the first chapter! LOL

I think yuki and rena will show up in this fic.
and i think it's majisuka gakuen based fic. LOL

just my deduction. :3

please update sakura-san!
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: Preface [06/01]
Post by: ichikawa on June 02, 2012, 07:38:48 PM
Quote
sudden appearance of sexual tension
wonder what's that mean  :mon mischief:
Mou~ I'm still waiting for the first chapter  :mon whimper:
Please update soon~   :mon innocent:
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: PART I Chapter 1 [06/27]
Post by: sakura_drop_ on June 27, 2012, 04:51:21 PM
Minna, at last I'm able to update this fic. I wanted to tell you so much before posting it, but now my mind is full of doubts. I mean, I wrote it from the drabbles that I made a long time ago, those few drabbles were tossed in like teasers, so they might even not appear in the actual text. GOME. This fic is really planned, and it's the first one I put so much work into it, because i want all the story to flow nicely, and not to be so confusingly tossed apart, as it was with Blood Thirst. I feel like a fail author, because my writing style is not that good as Sieka-san's, Divine Vengeance's, muwi-chama's, Flean-kun's, or other awesome writers here. And the lack of comments on my other fics makes me think that people lost interest in my stories because the lack in my writing style and vocabulary. I'm sorry, if I disappointed all of you. But even then, even if you all are not going to read them, I will still slowly update all the stories, I'm not going to abandon them. Also, I really want to read Estrea-sama's stories, but i cannot seem to find the time, because her writing style makes me so into them, that I forget everything around, and then get scolded by my family for not doing the chores... (Yeah, I know, soon to be 23yrs old, still living with parents, awkward, but oh well...) Back to the topic, I already saved Estrea-sama's stories in the bookmarks and I will start reading them when I find some time. There are lots of other stories waiting for me to read them, and they are all covered in dust in my bookmarks tab... OTL I guess i will end my rant here, coz I need to update this fic, now or never.

\/\o-o/\/ \/\o-o/\/ \/\o-o/\/ \/\o-o/\/ \/\o-o/\/

PART I

Chapter 1

“Chi-kun!! Give me that back! Right now!”
“Hehe, come and get it! Yuuka no BAKA!”
“Mou~!!”
“Help! Help! Dangerous earth. Help! Help! The earth cries.”
“Ai-chan, stop singing and help me choose the dress for this kawaii doll!!”
“Sayuumin, you already changed five dresses for her...”
“But they’re soo kawaiiii!”
“Oh please, not this again!”
“I agree with JunJun. Let’s go to sleep or eat some cookies.”
“LinLin, you know we can’t go to the kitchen without Yuko-sensei’s permission.”
“Kana-kun, don’t be such a goody-shoes.”
“Unlike you, Yusei, I like our sensei a lot.”

This happens every day. And every day when Yuko comes to the resting room in Haro!Puro kindergarten, they stop arguing, run to their sensei and happily ask when they are going to go to the park. Yuko loves these kids. Too much to leave this job, though the payment is little. But these kids are everything....that she has at the moment.
“Yuko-sensei!!!”
“Sensei!”
“We missed you!”
“Are we going to the park today?”
“Is Maeda-san coming also?”
“Melon-pans!!”
Yuko smiled warmly at them.
“I was away just for fifteen minutes, and you already miss me?” she let a warm laugh escape her lips. “Yes, we’re going to the park. So let’s clean up this mess you made, dress up and then let’s go.”
“YAY!!!”
It’s like a fairy godmother came to the Cinderella, or like the rain fell on withered flowers after a year with no rain. Yuko’s presence brought happiness, coziness, tidiness, astonishment, and, most importantly, compliance and peace between kids. Her dimples, squirrel-like features, shoulder-length wavy hair made such an impact to these kids, that she had no problems dealing with them. She never needed to shout, to become nervous, angry or mad. She smiled, talked with them cheerfully, and that was all what kids needed. She was a second mother, a teacher, a friend, a role model... Everything in one person.

This kindergarten was one of the most poor ones, but it still spread the warmth the kids and teachers had in their hearts. It was seen on the pastel walls, where creative drawings of kids were hung, or on the colorful rugs, where lots of different styles of toys were scattered around at day time. But near the evening all the toys were placed in very amusing wooden boxes, that had funny cute fluffy characters hand-drawn on them. Also the furniture was that of light wood, the dishes had animal ornaments on them, and the bedding was also that for the kids to have – flowers, clouds, bears, and other cute or calming things. The staff was not very big, but also there were not that many kids attending the kindergarten. The principal, secretary, book-keeper, few cooks and three teachers. There were just two classes. This class was the one Yuko was teaching, Haro, and other one was Puro, who had another teacher. At night, or on holidays of Yuko and the other teacher, the third teacher was looking after the kids. Yes, the kids were staying the night, because they were from poor families, so they were visiting home just on weekends and holidays. But even though these kids were poor, they had their hearts warm, and their dreams big. And they had Yuko, who was the brightest and the best thing in their lives.

After dressing up, they all headed to the nearby park. It was a park with tall swinging trees, chirping birds, blooming flowers. It had a water fountain, lots of benches all over the park, a small lake in the middle of the park, with swans swimming and Sakura Trees blossoming around it. There also was a bicycle path, and, most importantly, the Children’s Playground. When they all came to the park, there were some people just relaxing there, or hurrying somewhere through. And also, again, most importantly, Maeda Atsuko, a good friend of Yuko, was already sitting at their favorite spot under Sakura Tree near the Playground. She had shoulder length black hair, a nice figure, a warm smile with a wrinkle on her nose, and by her side, on the bench, there was a bag full of melon pans and milk tea for kids. Children cheerily ran to her, started talking one over the other, telling all the happenings of today and yesterday. She just listened to them attentively, and, while listening, gave each of them one melon pan and one bottle of warm milk tea.

When the kids ate the pans and drank their tea, they headed to the playground to play. At first Maeda and Oshima were just observing them, but then they turned to each other and smiled.
“So, how’s your work?” asked Yuko.
“Well, the patients are like always, crazy. But other than that me and doctor had a calm time. You know, we are already used to them being in their ‘normal’ state. And how are you?”
“Me? I’m fine. Being with these kids everyday really makes my life more enjoyable, as they and you are all I have.” she smiled sadly, dimples showing on her face.
“Hey, remember my friend, Shinoda Mariko?”
“That model with short hair?”
“Un. She’s modeling for her company again, and they are having a fashion show on Friday. Mariko said she can get me and you VIP tickets. Wanna come?”
“I don’t know... Usually, it’s hard on Fridays, because kids don’t wanna go home with their parents to their poor, cold home, so it’s a tearful day. I feel all squeezed out, and I all I want after those tearful hours is to lay in my bed with some manga in my hands.”
“But this fashion show might be refreshing. You know, all sorts of colorful clothes, different people, light music. I’m not that interested actually, but because it’s Marichan, and because you need a break, that’s why I decided I wanna go.”

Suddenly Atsuko’s phone rang.
“Yes? Wha...? Yes. Yes. I’ll be right back. Please inform the doctor.” she hung up. “Sorry, the usual patient escaped again. I have to go. Think about what I said, okay?”
“Un. Nee, Acchan, call me after things calm down, okay?”
“Un. Bye, Yuko.”
“Bye.”
Yuko watched as Acchan said goodbye to the kids and hurriedly went to catch the taxi. She was puzzled why her friend, who loved driving, came here not by the car. She noticed a bit curled back of her friend’s, and understood, that the hard time is awaiting for her. She sighed and concentrated her eyes on the kids, though her mind was full of thoughts about the upcoming fashion show. Should she go?

Meanwhile, Acchan was catching a taxi and rapidly informing the driver to hurry to the clinic whose address she gave. Her mind was already at the clinic, wondering about the situation. That patient was trying to escape the fourth time already this month. It was driving her crazy, how persistent the patient was. The facility was really tightly secured, so the patient had no luck escaping, but that patient still tried. Atsuko shook her head. The tranquilizer is not helping. Not to that patient nor to the other patient. The both shared the room for a certain reason, and that reason must be the cause of tranquilizer not working on those two.

While Maeda was rushing to the clinic, a certain patient was laughing with a smirk on her face, her white robe full of dirt and blood. Her very dark, nearly black hair were let loose, her hands holding a knife, blood dripping from it. She was surrounded by the large group of trained soldiers, who didn’t want to hurt the patient, so tried to capture her by surrounding her. But even though they were protected by armor, two soldiers were already lying on the ground, blood running from the wounds made on their body parts which had no armor on them. They growl and cry in pain, those once strong men, now defeated by the insane patient of this facility, so called rehab for the insane ones.
The patient laughed chilly and suddenly dropped down her knife, and surrendered herself, while laughing with the smirk still on her face. Her eyes mocking the soldiers, who tangled her with shackles, though it was not needed, as she was not trying to escape them, she actually happily skipped to the rehab, making the soldiers dumbfounded and loosing the grip on her. But that just made things more fun to the patient, who already went straight ahead to the elevator and pushed her level’s number with her elbow. She smiled to herself, humming something silently. Then she remembered her headphones, and slumped on the floor, grin showing on her face not soon after the elevator doors opened. She stood up and headed to her cell, where the guards opened the doors for her and took off her shackles. She happily skipped to the bunk, where her roommate was giggling, while laying on the bed. The said roommate was bitting her nails and smiling sheepishly. Then they both looked at each other and laughed loud, the laughing echoing through all the level of the facility.

Atsuko rushed into the rehab and straight into the head doctor’s office.
“Doctor, is she caught?”
“Yes, nurse Maeda, don’t worry. Actually, she did what she does always. Injured exactly two soldiers with a knife, then surrendered, and again all the soldiers were dumbfounded, and then she skipped to elevator by herself and went to her cell.”
“I wonder, how come the tranquilizer is not working on them, doctor.”
“I wonder too. Anyway, I checked with the schedule, and on Friday you can be free from 1p.m., so you can plan things on that day, if you need.”
“Why am I free? Don’t I have work?”
“The nun is coming to pray for the patients, so we’ll have the helping nurse to assist her. As you have no experience with such things, you will have the half of the day off.”
“Ah, okay. By the way, doctor, what are we going to do further on? Are we still going to use the tranquilizer on them, even though it’s not working?”
“No. I think we will just keep them locked, and give them food through the window. No more walks in the garden for them They injured too many patients.. Even the shackles are not restricting them..”
Atsuko sighed and nodded. “Okay, then I’m going to my office, if you don’t need me now, doctor Matsui.”
“Yes, you can go.” waved his hand doctor and concentrated on the papers in his hands. It was two files of those two patients, which had Matsui written on both of them. “Sharing the same name as me, and being totally different... I’m glad we’re not related...” shivered doctor Matsui and closed his eyes, letting the past run through his head, making the small tear escape his left eye’s corner.

Acchan smiled sadly at the doctor and went to her office. She dialed Yuko’s number and heard her cheerful voice along with the noise in the background. She assumed the kids were having a fun lesson.
“Hey, Acchan, they’re painting on me, so be quick.” giggled Yuko. “How are things there?”
“Glad to hear you laughing. The patient came back to her cell as always... Doctor Matsui is still mourning his diseased sisters... You know, if I were in his place, seeing his sisters exploding in a car right in front of his eyes... I would really be broken... He's doing this job for their sake. He hopes they are safe in heaven. I suspect those two patients are giving him a headache, and if he had not seen the death of his sisters, I would say those two patients are those two. But... They are too crazy, and their features do not resemble our doctor that much... Argh, I don’t know what to think anymore. And the tranquilizer is not working on those two. But why am I troubling you with my work? Have you decided already, if you’re going to the fashion show? Because I am free on Friday since 1p.m.”
“That doctor is too good for you. And don’t worry. I’m glad you’re telling me your troubles. Anyway, yes, I decided to go. We both need to rest and clear our heads with something cheerful and colorful. Ah, you know, this squirrel you’re talking with, is now like a masterpiece, colored in various colors. I think I need a shower. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”
“Okay, Yuko. Have fun.” chuckled Maeda and hung up. Yes, she had an awesome friend, and she was really glad to have her. “Now I just need to call Marichan and inform her that me and Yuko are going to the fashion show.

She dialed Mariko’s number.
“Ah, hai Marichan. So we decided to go. Yes. Yes. Un. Okay, I’ll inform her tomorrow. Yes, I’m waiting for it. I was a bit reluctant if I should go or not, but I and Yuko, we both convinced ourselves that we need a distraction in our lives. Un. Yes. Well, like always, dealing with patients, visiting Yuko and the kids, again dealing with patients. And how was your day? Oh, good then. Then see you around. Bye.” She hung up for the nth time today and looked around her office. She needed a drink, because worrying about these patients made her head spin. At least her friends occupied her thoughts a bit. But now... She went to the drawer and opened it. There was a bottle of an old good red wine. She smiled, took a glass from the shelf, and poured some wine into it. She smelled its delicious fragrance, widely grinned and sipped a small sip, letting herself savor this bitter, cherry filled taste in her mouth. She closed her eyes and sat in her chair. “I wish Friday would come faster...
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: PART I Chapter 1 [06/27] <AtsuMina, KojiYuu, others>
Post by: TakaminaBG on June 27, 2012, 06:53:30 PM
AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! I TOTALLY LOVE IT!!!!!! :heart: :heart: :heart:
I wonder who the two patients are??? But I think they are Rena and Takamina.
Hmmmmm........... Can't wait for the next chapter!!!!!
UPDATE SOON!!!  :deco:
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: PART I Chapter 1 [06/27] <AtsuMina, KojiYuu, others>
Post by: yukofan on June 28, 2012, 12:23:50 AM
don't say that you are a failed author.you've created many good stories. i also have problem with my lack ability in writing,but i keep on writing..

about the fic..this is so good..really..the way you describe about the kindergarten,about those kids, made me think "ah,it's so lovely". plus,with yuko as the kindergarten teacher :heart:

will something happen in fashion show? i will wait for the continuation~
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: PART I Chapter 1 [06/27] <AtsuMina, KojiYuu, others>
Post by: Haruko on June 28, 2012, 05:44:32 AM
OMG!! good fic!..

I hope that yuuchan meet certainly bishoujo friend of mariko-sama cof cof kojiyuu, and Atsumina of course ::D
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: PART I Chapter 2 [06/29] <AtsuMina, KojiYuu, others>
Post by: sakura_drop_ on June 29, 2012, 12:27:59 PM
Thank you everyone for your warm comments. I keeps me fired up to write more  :kneelbow: :kneelbow: :kneelbow:

@TakaminaBG: Well, it certainly is not Takamina, because... Read this chapter and you'll find out. If it's Rena or not... you'll see some time later  XD
@yukofan: thank you for your kind and encouraging words. I do not deserve them though... And yes, Yuko-sama is a win... Well, she's always a win  :wub: :wub: :wub: :wub: I wonder about something happening in a fashion show... We'll see  XD XD
@haru9210: uwah, thank you  :bow: :bow: :bow: There are two patients in that quote, hehe. One might be Gekikara, but who's the other one? I'm glad it made you scared  :nervous :nervous :nervous
@Haruko: who knows what will happen, read further on  XD

\/\o-o/\/ \/\o-o/\/ \/\o-o/\/ \/\o-o/\/ \/\o-o/\/

PART I

Chapter 2

“And how about the lights? Did they came up with color mix?’
“Yes, Takahashi-san, they did. They sent us previews. I find them pretty, Yagami-san also was content. Now we only need yours and president’s opinions.”
The manager and the assistant were sitting at a huge table in the middle of the working office, which had more tables around. There were other people, men and women, working at those tables. But at this table were just the two. One of them was very short, had a bit masculine voice. Her hair were in a ponytail, there was also a huge black’n’white ribbon in her hair. Other than that, her clothing was very formal, white blouse, black skirt, black heels. The assistant had dark brown hair in a high bun, with bangs. She had a cute baby face and was always paying attention not only to the manager but also to her surroundings. So she noticed a strange commotion and decided to inform Takahashi about it. She tucked lightly on the sleeve of manager’s shirt.
“Very good. Now, on this part of stage... What’s the matter, Niigaki-san?”
“I think you should raise your head from these papers and look around you, Takahashi-san.”
The short woman raised her head and her eyes widened. Ten of her co-workers were standing in front of her desk with pleading eyes, one of them holding a bouquet of red roses. She coughed a bit and smiled fakely, trying not to offend them.
“Did something happened?” asked she politely.
“Takahashi-san, please go out with me!” asked her one of them.
“No, dine with me!” shouted another.
“Let’s go to amusement park, Takahashi-san.”
“Takahashi-san!”
“Me, pick me, me!!”
“Can you visit my parents?”
“Let’s work together till the morning comes..”
“I’ll buy you more huge bows for you to wear.”
“We’re the same height, there should be no problems for us to ki... I mean, go out.”

She was just standing and looking at them with confusion. How come they are so blunt today? It’s not like it’s the first time this is happening, but she rejected them so many, no, countless times. So they should have already gave up. But no, they were as fired up as always, wanting to have her all to themselves. And then she noticed a peculiar thing. All of them were talking one over another, just one of the guys was really quiet all the time. The one holding the roses. It was Kuramochi Asuya. He was standing a bit aside from them all, but suddenly he stepped up.
“Takahashi-san, I don’t want anything from you. Just please, can you accept these flowers as a gratitude that I can work with you?”
“Um, Kuramochi-kun, you’re very sweet. Thank you.” she took the flowers and gave them to Niigaki-san to put them in a vase with water. Risa was about to go, when the door to the working area suddenly opened, revealing frustrated figure of their president. She was very beautiful, wearing very fashionable dress and a fur jacket, her nails were long and painted very neatly, nicely. Her light brown hair were straight and in a ponytail. Her long boots were also from fur, ring earrings shining in the sunlight.
Everyone went straight to their working places, Minami cleared her throat and beseated herself slowly in a seat. Risa hurriedly went off to her own floor, not wanting to feel the rage of the president.
“You all, if I again find you not working...” her voice was not very sweet and brought fear to everyone, except Takahashi. “Oi, Minami, hurry to my office. NOW.”
“Yes, Itano-sama.” murmured she and went straight to the mentioned room.
“Kumi, prepare the papers for the meeting. And for the next half hour, if anyone asks me or Takamina, say we’re not available at the moment.” and she closed the door and locked them, leaving scared co-workers and silly smiling Kuumin. She turned to Minami.
“What was all that about, huh? I just went to dine with a client, and when I come, I find you hogged up with a bunch of men?” hissed Itano.
“Tomochin... It’s not what ” she couldn’t end her sentence, as Itano slammed her into the wall and kissed roughly.
“DO.NOT.E.VER.LET.A.NY.ONE.ELSE.TOUCH.YOU. Clear?”
“I belong to you, Tomochin, and to no one else.” smiled warmly Minami and tiptoed so to kiss gently her girlfriend. “I’m glad I made you jealous, though that wasn’t intentional.”
Itano hissed again and raised Takamina’s skirt.
“Look what we got here. You were waiting for me to satisfy you, weren’t you?”
“It’s embarrassing...” blushed the midget.
“Well, I might let you wait a bit more, or I might not...”

Kuumin was eavesdropping on them, while drooling. This cute, a bit clumsy, dark haired secretary was very fond of a certain president. She was jealous of Takahashi-san, as Itano-san was her girlfriend. Nobody knew about it, except TakaTomo themselves and Kuumin. She tried to settle herself in a more comfortable position, but the work phone rang. She frowned and went to answer.
“Shibuya Fashion Line, secretary Yagami speaking. How can I help you?”
“Hey, Kumi, it’s me.”
“Oh, Mariko-sama, good day.”
“So, I wanted to ask if you could spare two VIP tickets for my friends.”
“Everything for you, Mariko-sama. Left or right? Or front?”
“Front. The best view.”
"Okay. Is that it, Mariko-sama?”
“No. I have good news. You can tell Shibuya to not look further for the last model. She finally agreed. I persuaded her.”
“Ah, Mariko-sama, you’re a genius!!”
“Thanks. But aren’t you surprised she agreed?”
“I am, but it’s you, Mariko-sama, so I expected you to persuade her sooner or later.”
“Un. Okay, I gotta go now. See ya around.”
“Have a nice day, Mariko-sama.” Kumi hang up and smiled. So she agreed... Strange, knowing her being at odds with Itano-san, but oh well, it’s better this way. Everyone gets the profit.

While Kuumin was on the phone, Itano smiled devilishly at her midget and took off her panties. “Look how wet you are. You wanted me so badly?” teased she further on and inserted slowly one finger.
Takamina gasped and sunk her nails into Tomomi’s skin. But just then Itano took the finger off and cleaned it with the tissue.
“We’ll continue this later. I have a meeting in half an hour. So, what do we have in the front of fashion line?”
Minami coughed, swallowed hardly, then tucked perfectly her skirt, kicking the panties under the cabinet. Then turned to her girlfriend.
“Well, we’re still in a search of the last model. Bu we can’t seem to find anyone so fitting the image as Ko...I mean, Ogura-san. She would be perfect, but as you know, she declined...because of you.” murmured the last part the short manager.
“I heard that. And I know that. You don’t have to point it out to me. So...what are we gonna do about it? We still need the last model.”

Just then Kuumin knocked on the door. “Um, president-san. I have news from Mariko-sama.”
Minami unlocked the door and saw a blink of disappointment in secretary’s eyes. The ribboned girl knew Kuumin’s liking to listen secretly to them making love, so she just smirked and showed her to come in.
Yagami fidgeted a bit and then looked at Itano.
“Ano...I have good news. Ogura-san has agreed to appear at our fashion show as a model for our line.”
“Oh, so Mariko-sama succeeded...” thoughtfully uttered Minami.
‘Very good. Then prepare the papers and send our assistant Niigaki to her. She’ll know what to do. That’s all?”
“Un.”
“Then you’re free.”
“Hai, president-san.” Kumi slightly bowed and left the office.
“Was she eavesdropping again?” stated more than asked Itano.
“Un. But that aside. What do you think?’

“I think she’s bored. Having a perfect life doesn’t always mean being happy. Yes, she’s a well-known model, yes, she has a husband for two years already. Yes, she just came from abroad, where she had her successful career become more successful. BUT. She had her life too perfect. Now, I believe Mariko said to her something about a challenge. Like, how it will be awesome, if she agrees and then she can have bickering conversations with me, knowing she’s the best option for our company. And yes, I don’t want to loose her, so I can’t mock her or order her around too much. So it’s entertaining to her.”
“Mariko-sama is clever to have come up with this plan. And yet, I wonder how it will turn out, knowing you two.”
“Darling, don’t worry. I have you by my side, so nothing bad will happen. You’ll stop me at the right time. Am I not right?”
“Tomochin...” Minami blushed, as it was rare for the fashion queen to call her darling.
“Now, I’m heading to the meeting. Can I leave this place for you? I don’t want to come and find the same scene as I found before.”
“You can trust me.”
“Good.” she gave a quick peck on the lips, and then left for the meeting.
I wonder if it really will turn out well....” thought to herself Takahashi. She went to the mirror, fixed her ribbon, then took her panties from under the cabinet and put them on. She then went to her working place, and continued discussing the plans with Niigaki-san.

“So, Haruna, how’s your husband doing?” asked Mariko after the phone call with Kuumin. The tall, short haired model wanted to break the long silence between her and the newly yet to be hired model, who was more famous than Mariko herself.
“Good.” answered she blatantly, too preoccupied with reading fan letters.
“Thanks for ignoring me.” murmured Mariko. She didn’t expect anything more though, as the arrogant model was known to be the air-head queen, also, she was not interested in anything but her work, husband and her looks. Well, she had a nice figure, Shinoda acknowledged the fact, but still, to be so cocky... She shook her head and made a call to Acchan.
“Hi again. Yes, I got the tickets. Oi, are you drunk? A bit? Wine? You know you can’t drink... Dear dear... Well, make sure you do not drive yourself.” she hung up. Really, what a troublesome person that Atsuko is. She looked again at the model. Her hair went in beautiful locks, her a bit huge ears were showing, and for Mariko she looked more like a long faced monkey than a cat, like others called her. Then she saw the model doing an action that made her stone for a few minutes.
“What...are you doing?” asked in a shock Mariko. Haruna was tearing into pieces one of the fan letters.
“Can’t you see?”
“Why are you tearing it apart? Isn’t it a fan letter?”
“It is.”
“Was the fan mocking you?”
“No.”
“Then why?”
“I. HATE. LESBIANS.”
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: PART I Chapter 2 [06/29] <AtsuMina, KojiYuu, others>
Post by: haruhi16 on June 29, 2012, 12:49:20 PM
This is new, the story is so refreshing, i love it.  :)

Please update soon as you can sakura~chan! It's really interesting, i can't wait to read more.  :thumbsup
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: PART I Chapter 2 [06/29] <AtsuMina, KojiYuu, others>
Post by: miayaka on June 29, 2012, 01:12:48 PM
 :twothumbs i lurve it muahh
lemme hug you pwease...
so many awesome stories to read!
can't concentrate to update my own  :banghead:
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: PART I Chapter 2 [06/29] <AtsuMina, KojiYuu, others>
Post by: TakaminaBG on June 29, 2012, 01:44:40 PM
AHHHH! TakaTomo. Such a hot scene. I'm a TakaTomo shipper. Don't know why. :D
"I hate lesbians." Harsh..... :catglare:
Waiting for the next chapter! :)
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: PART I Chapter 2 [06/29] <AtsuMina, KojiYuu, others>
Post by: yukofan on June 29, 2012, 02:20:41 PM
Niigaki Risa appear in AKB fanfic? XD
i love takatomo here..
Haruna seems a cold-hearted person..

can't wait for next update..
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: PART I Chapter 1 [06/27]
Post by: sakura_drop_ on June 29, 2012, 02:34:00 PM
I'll answer everyone's comments some time later, but yukofan seems surprised by Risa's appearance... Well, there are more to it, than her. The kindergarten is called HaroPuro, has two classes Haro and Puro. It's what Hello!Project is called in japanese: ハロープロ(ジェクト). And here's more:

“Chi-kun!! Give me that back! Right now!”
“Hehe, come and get it! Yuuka no BAKA!”
“Mou~!!”
“Help! Help! Dangerous earth. Help! Help! The earth cries.”
“Ai-chan, stop singing and help me choose the dress for this kawaii doll!!”
“Sayuumin, you already changed five dresses for her...”
“But they’re soo kawaiiii!”
“Oh please, not this again!”
“I agree with JunJun. Let’s go to sleep or eat some cookies.”
“LinLin, you know we can’t go to the kitchen without Yuko-sensei’s permission.”
“Kana-kun, don’t be such a goody-shoes.”
“Unlike you, Yusei, I like our sensei a lot.”

Chi-kun - Okai Chikao (Okai Chisato, C-ute)
Yuuka - Maeda Yuuka (Maeda Yuuka, ex-S/mileage)
Ai-chan - Takahashi Ai (Takahashi Ai, ex-Morning Musume)
Sayuumin - Michishige Sayumi (Michishige Sayumi, Morning Musume)
JunJun - Lin Jun (Lin Jun aka JunJun, ex-Morning Musume)
LinLin - Qian Lin (Qian Lin aka LinLin, ex-Morning Musume)
Kana-kun - Arihara Kana (Arihara Kanna, ex-C-ute)
Yusei - Kumai Yusei (Kumai Yurina, Berryz Koubou)

Probably all of you noticed that, but still, I thought I'd point it all out  :D
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: PART I Chapter 2 [06/29] <AtsuMina, KojiYuu, others>
Post by: yukofan on June 29, 2012, 02:48:25 PM
ooooo...

honestly, i don't know anything about Hello!Project..i'm a lurker in hip fanfic thread and the pervert fic  XD . All that i know is the name "Niigaki Risa" appear in MANY H!P fics..
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: PART I Chapter 2 [06/29] <AtsuMina, KojiYuu, others>
Post by: aruka on July 05, 2012, 07:06:28 AM
I feel like a fail author, because my writing style is not that good as Sieka-san's, Divine Vengeance's, muwi-chama's, Flean-kun's, or other awesome writers here.
Phew~ it’s a bit relieving. If only you change ‘feel like’ with ‘am’, I’m sure I’ll certainly get disappointed with the sentence. Thank God that didn’t happen. :yep:

It’s fine to feel inferior sometimes when you compare yourself to Sieka-san, Divine-san, Rin-chan (muwi-san), Flean-san or the others, after all I also admit they're among the top in my list, but to feel inferior constantly won’t make my/your writing and writing style probably any better. I believe you haven’t forgotten about effort, have you? Also how you look at it after you do the effort, positive or not, you decide. :D

The writers you've mentioned before, I'm sure they also have their own up and down moments. I’m also sure there were some times when their writings (which were written using their usual writing styles you've just 'compared' to your own style) were (perhaps) considered lower in quality by (maybe) a tiny percentage of their readers, it’s just those readers (probably) never talked about it and decided to let it go. Yours, mine, theirs... nobody’s writing, as well as nobody’s writing style, are that perfect all the time, right? :D

I'm sorry for the too long ranting, and sorry if it sounds too patronizing. I just couldn't help but getting irked when I found those 'failed/crappy/dumb declarations' from other writers (even when some of them are already established imo). :thumbdown: I understand it's their right to say that and it might be a good reminder for them to not get too 'high'. Still, I'm sure there are other ways to say it without sounding like degrading their own writing or even themselves. :)

I'll reply to your rant in my thread when I'm about to update later.

This fic is really planned, and it's the first one I put so much work into it, because i want all the story to flow nicely, and not to be so confusingly tossed apart, as it was with Blood Thirst.
I can see it. :D If I have to choose, 'A Drastic Change' is indeed the best that comes from you so far. It's easier to read and follow than your other ones (not that I'll stop reading the others) :D
See? Forging your writing style to be better is not an impossible thing to do. :D Who knows you will one day surpass the same writers you've mentioned?

About lack of comments? Well, you can try looking at 'thanks'. If 'thanks' are too few, you can also try looking at 'views/reads'. If it's still not significantly increased, perhaps the only best way is to write and update more. That's why I'm happy when you said this
But even then, even if you all are not going to read them, I will still slowly update all the stories, I'm not going to abandon them.
Oh yeah, maybe you can also try believing this... maybe comments will not come immediately, but who knows that later, months later for example, someone will comment? Don't expect too much though.

Story-wise... I love that you write Yuko as a kindergarten teacher. :D Moreover her Haro!Puro kids also loved her. That's so lovable. :love:
Anyway, would you make her a pervert too? Because if you would, I just hope it wouldn't be too much. I'm quite afraid it would largely diminishes her motherly side in this story. I don't know why, I just really love a maternal Yuko. :heart:

In the end my comment on the story is too short. :lol: I'm sorry too for this one, yet that means I'm waiting your next update (so I can read and comment more). Definitely. :D
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: PART I Chapter 2 [06/29] <AtsuMina, KojiYuu, others>
Post by: sakura_drop_ on July 17, 2012, 06:30:57 AM
Ah, I'm back after my adventures by the sea. I had so much fun, especially the ATB concert (yet the night after the concert I dreamed about me visiting AKB concert...  :wub: :wub: :wub:) Anyway, I'll be off to have another adventure by the sea again, just this time different company. So, before leaving, please enjoy the answers to comments and, most importantly, an update. I hope it won't disappoint you. I was shaping it up this whole week (having no connection was not good, as I could only visit through phone...)

@haruhi16: Mhm, my brain burned from trying to come up with a good plot, but then this story shoved itself into my head unexpectedly, and there you have it. Thank you for waiting patiently (or impatiently)  :bow: :bow:
@miayaka: *hugs miayaka back* glad to know you like it  :bow: :bow:
@haru9210, TakaminaBG: yes, TakaTomo made me squeal when I was writing their scene  XD XD  And well, that's Haruna's character made by me, hope to surprise you even more in my further updates  XD XD  Thanks for reading  :bow: :bow:  and haru920, I wonder if it's Yukirin...  XD :P 8)
@yukofan: and here in this update you'll find Momo-kun (Tsugunaga Momoko, Berryz Koubou)  XD
@aruka: thank you for this long rant, I think I really needed it to keep my spirits up. (reading your comment I understood I miss Sieka-sama and her comments.... *goes into corner and cries her heart out of miss and loss for her dear Sieka-sama not showing herself up more casually) And I love this side of Yuko more than pervert one, so I can promise you'll see this side of hers more than you think, though I can't leave her pervertedness out forever, you know  XD XD Sometimes it just might pop out  :grin:

\/\o-o/\/ \/\o-o/\/ \/\o-o/\/ \/\o-o/\/ \/\o-o/\/

PART I

Chapter 3

"So, as I was saying, we're really proud of you, Sayaka. You really make our name shine, and we really think you're doing your best. And congratulations on getting the highest grade possible on your exam."
"Thank you, daddy. I love you both too." answered in a deep mature voice a girl with straight, black hair and clever looking eyes. “but you shouldn’t praise me this much...”
“But you deserve it, my dear. All you do are good things. The things we think are beyond amazing.”
“Daddy...” a slight worry was heard in her voice as she glanced at another person by the dinning table. That didn’t go unnoticed by her mother. She also looked at another person with a hate in her eyes.
"While Sayaka is doing her best, you, Tomomi, are not even trying. All we see is your frowned face. You should at least try to smile more. And your grades are not improving at all. And just look at yourself. No maturity, no fashion sense. A fail. A person not worthy of holding and carrying this family’s name."
"Mom, how can I smile, if even when I get the good marks, you never praise me. All you do is whine, how I am not that pretty as Sayaka, that my voice is too weak, that I lack there and there, that I should become more feminine and respectful." a cute voice owner answered, trying to hide her striving anger. She had a baby face, yet somewhat sultry looking lips, and long, light brown curly hair.
"Well, I say that, because Sayaka really is better than you. You should try harder, if you want to be respected and praised."
"You know what, I'm not hungry anymore."
Tomomi stood up, tossed the napkin on the table, pushed the chair out of her way and went to her room, ignoring the discontent looks from her parents. She was more than pissed by her parents ditching her every single day. She fell on her bed, facing the pillow and gritted her teeth. How long are they gonna rape her mind with this nonsense? How long? Because she felt really tired, trying hard all these years, and still being not good enough. Whatever she did was not enough. She was top student, yet they wanted her to be number one. She became number one, the university she was in was not to their liking. She changed university, her looks were not to their style. She changed her hair from darker brown to light brown, and made them in curls. Then they said it’s her fashion sense that’s lacking. She changed her fashion style, then her manners were not okay with them. Everything she did, everywhere she went, they were not satisfied with her. Only her sister was perfect in everything she did.

The door to her room opened. Sayaka went in and closed the door.
"Neechan... I'm sorry for before... I know, you are frustrated, and I really apologize for what you had to go through. It's my fault, as I never defend you. I'm sorry, neechan..."
Sayaka sat on the floor by the bed and placed her head near her sisters back. She felt the bed shifting and next minute she was pushed away on the ground.
“Go away.”
“Tomo~mi... Please...”
“Have you any idea how I feel?! You, though being younger than me, are praised every single day! All I get from parents are rubbishy comments about me, and yet all I do is trying my best. I have perfect grades, I am popular at school, even in this city I’m known better than you, and yet, they still praise YOU. HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL?!”
“I hate it when they badmouth you, too... But can I do something about it? You know perfectly well, that I have no power over them. They’re okay with me as long as I’m obedient. Being in this family is a burden for me, as my sister is suffering, and I can’t stand that. Yet I can do nothing, just sit and watch.”
“Saya, wake up, we’re not real sisters. There is no point for you to pity me. I bet you’re glad I’m being insulted every day.”
“That’s not true!!! I... even though we’re not real sisters, I still love you like a real one..”
“You do...?...” Tomomi was on the verge of bursting into tears. She knew her half sister loves her, yet her anger for such different love from her parents overwhelmed her and stirred all the emotions inside. This blunt statement knocked her in surprise, yet this was not the first, and really not the last time she was hearing it.
“Yes. Come.” Sayanee hugged her sister and let her cry her heart out. She understood the situation perfectly well. She had no idea why their mom, her half sister’s real mom, hated her real daughter so much, yet praised another, which was not related by blood, more than anything else. It was cruel. Way too cruel, yet she could do nothing, just comfort her sister silently at nights in this room.

After calming down Tomomi wiped her tears and smiled weakly.
“Let’s do the usual.”
“Un.” agreed Sayanee and they both took a stack of newest magazines. Then they settled on Tomo~mi’s bed under the blanket and started talking about boys, fashion, food, other girly stuff, then began flipping through magazines.
”This dress is so kawaii~!” exclaimed Tomomi with shiny eyes.
“Un. Look, neechan, the shoes.. KYA~!”
They were in high spirits now, after reconciliation, talking about the things they both loved. It was really fun being like this, two sisters chatting like best friends.
“Neechan... Do you see what I see?” asked Sayaka.
“Yes.. The Shibuya Fashion Line fashion show on Friday, live on TV. Oh my god, we have to watch this!!!!”
“Un un!!” agreed Sayaka and jumped out of bed. She was happy, the problem with her sister being solved, their relationship on good terms. “It’s a pity I have to go to sleep, you know I love these evenings with you...”
Tomomi jut smiled warmly.
“So I guess see you tomorrow, neechan.”
“Un, see you tomorrow.” answered cute voice owner, watching her sister leave the room.

One and a half hour later Tomomi made sure everyone in her family is asleep, then changed her clothing and got outside through the window of her room. She looked around, then quietly ventured straight through garden to the very end of their property, where little gates were located under a huge tree. She took a small key from her pocket and unlocked the gates, went outside of the property and then locked the gates.
“Ojousama, good evening!” bowed two men to her. One of them had long hair tied in a low ponytail, and very masculine facial looks, like a Greek statue. Another one was very handsome and was wearing a certain uniform. He was a real pimp, a lady killer. And both of them were the best bodyguards one could have ever had.
“Sakuya, Gakuran. Any news?”
“Yes. Your old enemy got out of his hiding place. We still have no idea who lured him out, but he started his business again. It appears he told everyone he’s not afraid of you.”
“Well... It seems I have plans for tonight. Big plans. We’re visiting my ol’ good enemy then. Bring the car.”
“Hai.” said both in unison and went to take a car, hidden deeper in the woods, that were also Yamamoto family’s property.

Everyone from the high social levels knew her as the older daughter of Kasai-sama, now Yamamoto-sama. Her mom was a wife of the famous anesthesiologist, so she was respected because of her parents’ status. She and her sister were called ‘Ojousamas’ by everyone, including their friends and even enemies. But only a few from high society levels knew, that one certain Ojousama was leading a double life, as she had a yankee side to her. She loved fighting, but was too clever to get involved too much, so she let her bodyguards do the dirty work. In the past she had a comrade and a friend, a daughter of famous pharmacist Kuramochi-sama. Asuka was a closest person to her, they shared a lot of things together. They even were called Kabuki Sisters in the past by the street gangs and their enemies. Yet one night a disaster happened, and now she is the only one of the two left in this world. So she now called herself as Chiyuu when in her secret yankee life.

After driving for awhile they reached the deserted area of the city. Leaving that behind, they reached the part of the city unreachable for the creamy society levels. It was the lowest part of society, with all the street thugs, gangs and poor people gathering and living there. After passing it, they reached the road to the secret hiding place of her ‘beloved’ enemy. At first it looked like it was in ruins, but the signs of someone living and passing by were seen very perfectly, especially by the keen eye of bodyguards and Tomomi herself. She noticed a tighter security than the last time, and just nodded her head. The bodyguards left the car and dealt with security in no time. She smiled to herself and left the car also.

Chiyuu chuckled at the sight of what her bodyguards did to those men on the opposing side. She laughed devilishly and continued on to the main ‘party’ house. On her way to it, her bodyguards easily delt with security, beating them up, until they lost their consciousness. They were not at fault that their boss did so many things, they were just following his orders. So they did not deserve such a cruel dealing with them as the enemy of hers did. She opened the door to the house, and noticed a short man, trying to hold his toughness face on.

“Momo-kun, it’s been a long time.”
“Ookabuki.” hissed the said man.
“I’m not Ookabuki anymore. Don’t you dare to make fun of what you did.”
“right. You lost your precious Kokabuki! Haha. Who killed her? Oh wait. Don’t answer. It was me, wasn’t it? Haha.”
“You...” Tomomi was nearly loosing her last drop of patience.
“Maa, yurushite-nyan. Or so I’d like to say, but I don’t feel like it.” mocked again Momo-kun.
“Enough!” shouted Chiyuu in her angry low register voice, making her enemy and even her bodyguards shiver. “You know why I came here. You seem to forget one thing I stated clearly before. No sighting of you here. You broken the rule, and you did another unforgivable thing, that we both know very well of.”
“Chiyuu....” he shivered and fell on his knees. The wrath of this Ojousama was just unbearable. “Please, forgive me... I beg you.”
“Hahahaha. Like I ever can forgive you.” after laughing fakely she mocked her enemy, then turned to her bodyguards. “Kill him.”
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: PART I Chapter 3 [07/17] <AtsuMina, KojiYuu, others>
Post by: ichikawa on July 18, 2012, 02:55:23 PM
Wow, yankee Chiyuu is scary...
But I like it~  :twothumbs
Sakuya and Gakuran are her bodyguard?  :P :P
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: PART I Chapter 3 [07/17] <AtsuMina, KojiYuu, others>
Post by: ScarletWings on August 16, 2012, 02:36:50 PM
waw, i should be the one being speechless with this fic of yours <3
please keep writing! i like it very much :D
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: PART I Chapter 3 [07/17] <AtsuMina, KojiYuu, others>
Post by: kahem on November 01, 2012, 09:30:26 PM
WOW dark...
But interesting ;)
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: PART I Chapter 4 [11/13] <AtsuMina, KojiYuu, others>
Post by: sakura_drop_ on November 13, 2012, 12:31:59 AM
@ichikawa: yes, Sakuya and Gakuran are the bodyguards, hehe. And she's scary as a yankee, but she's sweet also, nee? :)
@ScarletWings: ah, arigatou gozaimasu  :bow: :bow:
@kahem: arigatou :bow:
@O r i g a m i: you'll get the continuation some time later. As for now, have some other characters ;)

A/n. Ano, minna, hello!! So I am updating this very late, I know and I'm sorry. I hope I don't disappoint you with this chapter... OTL

IMPORTANT NOTICE and A HUGE THANK YOU. The fight scene was written by stv_wong-san, miyumi-san and kahem-san. Also, of course, me. Other part of the story is written by me. Those who got my PM, and were not able to send their works... You can send me them, and I will be very thankful, as for them you might get a OS of your fav pairing, nanana  XD It might seem short, yes, it is shorter than the previous chapters, but the next chapter is longer, so yeah, have fun reading...


\/\o-o/\/ \/\o-o/\/ \/\o-o/\/ \/\o-o/\/ \/\o-o/\/

PART I

Chapter 4

"Oi Sasshi!"
"What Miichan?"
"You’re late! Where's Reina? You both were supposed to be here an hour ago. I’m tired of waiting!"
"Hey! I had my reasons for being late, because..."
"Gomen!" Reina came running down carrying a crepe in her mouth.
"Where have you been?" asked still pissed Miichan.
"I was hungry so I stopped to get a snack." Reina said.
"For a whole hour?" Miichan said.
"The line was long!" pouted innocently the fashionable girl.
"Forget it, let's just get moving." shook her head Sasshi.

The three girls started walking down the street minding their own business. But then Sasshi noticed they were being followed by some unwanted guests. Miichan and Reina also figured it out and decided it was time to ditch the followers. They made a right turn into an alleyway so no one could see them. Then when they reached a dead end, they turned around to see a group of guys. They looked older and scary but neither one of them was afraid.
"How about you ladies come with us? How about it? We'll have a little fun." The guy grabbed his crotch indicating what he meant.
The three looked at each other and smiled. Then Miichan walked over and leaned in close to him.
"You wish~" Then in a flash she kicked him right where it counts making the other guys wince at their fallen comrade. Little did they know, the girls they were messing with were from a popular Yankee school and were very good at fighting. They had no idea they were in one heck of a fight.

"Get them!"
The guys charged and the girls just waited for them to attack. One tried to attack Reina but she quickly avoided the punch and punched the guy in the stomach sending him doubling over in pain. Then she hammered his head with an elbow smash. As one went down another came but Reina was expecting them to play dirty. She quickly moved out of the way and watched the guy punch one of his own buddies.
"Idiots."
Meanwhile Miichan was having a blast. She punched one guy in the nose making it gush like a fountain and then she gave him a low kick sending him flying into the trash pile. Then she ducked as two guys swung their fists above her head and then quickly grabbed them and flipped them over. She nailed one of them in the chest and the other in the face. To finish it off, she hit another guy right in the jewels. Then she did a back-flip to avoid the swinging of the bat and she sent a spinning kick afterwards. The guy who's spun the bat was too surprised from seeing the back-flip that he didn't even see a kick was directed to him.
"Yosh, that's the fourth one today!"

Sasshi laughed at Miichan's comment as she smashed one guy's head into the wall and took out another with one punch to the face. There were only five guys left, one of them being the leader. And suddenly the four pulled out knives pointed right at the girls.
"Hey, it’s not fair!" Miichan said.
"Relax, we can handle them." smiled Sasshi.
"Shut up and let’s fight!" shouted playfully fashionable girl.
The four came charging at them with their knives waiting. Two of them went after Miichan while the other two went after Reina and Sasshi. Reina had no problem disarming her guy when all she had to do was make him trip and fall over. Sasshi easily snatched the blade out of her guy's hand and threw it to the side. Then like a true Yankee she finished him with two punches to the stomach and one in the chest.

Miichan however was having a little difficulty. The two were striking randomly and Miichan was barely able to dodge. At one point one of the guys slashed a tear in her jacket.
"Hey, no one messes with our school uniforms!" Miichan whacked the blades out of their hands and then grabbed both of their heads and slammed them together. When she let go, their bodies dropped like logs. "Knock out!"
"Nice one Miichan!" Reina said.

There was just the leader left. He tried to run away but Sasshi easily caught up with him. She made him kneel down, grabbed his right arm and put it behind him, preventing him from moving.
“Please let me go.” He begged.
“You shouldn't have messed with stronger than you.” said Miichan while approaching him. When she was in front of him, something caught his attention. It was a red pin with a white flower and the initials MJ drawn on it. His eyes widened, because he knew this insignia.
“Please don't hurt me. I didn't know you were...” He couldn't finish his sentence because Miichan put her hand on his mouth.
“It's too late, we are pretty upset now.” said Miichan before making a sign to Reina to finish him. The guy was completely scared. Then Reina violently hit his face with her knee.
“We can go now.” said Sasshi.
“Yeah, let's go. And by the way, I won.” declared Miichan.”

“You were so cool!” exclaimed Reina and then frowned. “I lost my crepe in the middle of the fight...”
“And that reminds me... Sasshi, why were you late?!” yelled Miichan.
“Our class had to go and have a check up... And you know our school’s nurse...” she shivered, but then grinned widely. “I made sure he won’t be touching anyone for at least a week.”
“Yay! Go Sasshi!” smiled Reina.
“Mhm... I forgive you then... While I was waiting for you, I checked my twitter and Tomomi updated a blog!! Ah, yappari Yamamoto sisters are so cute together!!” squealed she and jumped around for a minute.
“Now you’re so not cool...” teased Sasshi and then her face turned into a sparkling one. “Nee, Reina, tell me more about Kuumin, please!!!”
“You’re whining too much... I cannot understand how can you be heels over someone you never saw... Ah, I should ask my sister for a meeting with Gaki-san...”
“Yap, we lost her...” stated Miichan, who knew too well about Reina’s obsession over Niigaki Risa, an assistant at Shibuya Fashion Line.

Sasshi’s face suddenly became unreadable. “Talking about twitter, I read the latest news... It seems there was a huge murder not far away from our town, some mafia gang was killed off...”
“Yeah, I read about it too...” sighed the bubbly yankee. “By the way, on the lighter note... Have you heard the latest news, while being at school?”
“About the transfer student?” asked the hetare girl.
“Un. I heard her father was a priest...”
“Say what?! EH?!”
“That’s not all... People said she’s very cute and pretty... And innocent, on top of that...”
“Poor girl... Does she know our school is not for sweet girls..?”
“Well, it’s not our problem, is it?” asked Miichan.
“No, it’s not... Anyway, we should take Reina home, she’s still in her Niigaki-land...”

When Reina was brought home, she snapped out of her thoughts, as she saw her sister’s car in a driveway. She left her friends behind and ran inside, smiling widely.
“Neechan! Tadaima~!” shouted she and jumped on her sister full force, making them both fall on the sofa.
“Reina-chan... Okaeri. You should have just hugged me normally, you know. My dress will be crinkled..”
“Oh, oneechan, who’s more important? Me or your dress?”
“Mhm... Definitely the dress.” teased the older one. “Now get up and make me dinner, as I am really hungry.”
“Mou~” pouted the yankee girl, yet still skipped to the kitchen.
“You know, I have good news to you, fangirl. Your favorite model agreed to appear on my fashion show.”
“She what?!” a happy squeal could be heard. “Yatta!!!!! Ogura Haruna-san is finally not just unreachable dream!! I can meet her, yay!!!”
“Don’t forget to cook, Reina-chan.”
“Un un.” she kept silent for awhile. “Ano, is Takamina-san coming tonight?”
“Even though she’s my girlfriend, she’s not supposed to come here every night, now is she?”
“Iie... Ah, so happy~! But how? You said she declined.”

Tomochin came to the kitchen and sat on the chair.
“I want to know the real reasons too, but I have my own opinion, no, more like guesses about it. But as I thought, you haven’t read it in the newspapers. Why?”
“I went to school, and after school we got into a fight. But of course we beat them.” proudly stated the younger Itano. “What should I wear, neechan? I want to look good, when Ogura-san signs for me.”
“I think you’re too happy, Reina-chan. Are you forgetting your dear Gaki-san?” asked in a teasing manner the fashion queen.
“N..no... W...why do you ask?” stuttered cat girl and continued cooking, concentrating more than needed.
“Mhm, just curious, that’s all. She was asking about you, you know...” smirked designer and waited.
“Really?!” excited Reina turned around at her sister, then suddenly lifted her chin and lowered her voice, yet the sparkles in her eyes stayed unmoved. “So what?.. What she wanted?..”
“You can hide your feelings from anyone but me. I know you like her a lot. She asked if you’re going to attend, I said yes. She was happy.”
The yankee girl turned away from her sister, continuing with the dinner.
“Um... So, what about you and Takamina?”
“I love her, she loves me, end of story. We’re happy together.” smiled warmly Tomomi. “Ah, smells good, hurry!” she patted her sister’s shoulder and went to make a call to her girlfriend.

After dinner both sisters went to take a bath, then to their beds. One was thinking about a certain midget before falling asleep, another was too preoccupied thinking about a certain assistant to fall asleep. But eventually she gave in and drowned in her dreams, full off fluffy kittens. Do all yankees dream like that?..
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: PART I Chapter 4 [11/13] <AtsuMina, KojiYuu, others>
Post by: kahem on November 13, 2012, 01:56:38 AM
Reina is a funny character ^^
Haruna seems to be a bitch though lol
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: PART I Chapter 4 [11/13] <AtsuMina, KojiYuu, others>
Post by: stv_wong on November 13, 2012, 03:25:26 AM
There's so many characters (non-akb) here that i'm a little confused with who' who.  :nervous

But, I like it. I want to know more about their relations in this story. And since you're good with unexpected story (and pairings), I know this will turn out good. And as much as I like takatomo and atsutomo, please let it be tomotomo in the end  :bow: :bow: :nervous

That would really make my day, since I'm currently on a mood swing because of the whole Tomo~mi`s situation. :( :banghead:
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: PART I Chapter 4 [11/13] <AtsuMina, KojiYuu, others>
Post by: deH on November 13, 2012, 03:40:27 AM
waa
I was waiting for this >< there's really a lot of characters and scenarios, but loved the way you're making them interlace >< even though there's a lot to happen I can figure it will be awesome :3

thanks for the update, I'm definetly waiting forward the next chapter @_@ and my kojiyuu~ nyahaha~ xD
Title: Re: A Drastic Change: PART I Chapter 4 [11/13] <AtsuMina, KojiYuu, others>
Post by: cisda83 on November 19, 2012, 11:43:22 AM
Just Joining

Keep up the good work and looking forward to the next chapter

Thank you for the fanfic  :twothumbs :twothumbs
Title: Re: My Beautiful. Chapter 1 [10/21] <AtsuYuu, MariMii, other couples undecided>
Post by: sakura_drop_ on October 21, 2013, 06:04:19 PM
A/n. MINNA, HELLO~!! The story I once kinda promised to miayaka and arrow27 to continue on writing is finally here~

I have no idea when I will continue 'A Drastic Change' but I have some ideas so decided to bring this topic up~

Replies to your comments will be at the end of the post.



My Beautiful

Prologue (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=35759.msg1202759#msg1202759)

Chapter 1


Holding two huge bags in her left hand, three a bit smaller in her right one, compared to the one on her head, and one oversized bag bitten by her ; that’s how Takahashi Minami, better known as ‘THE midget’, was going home after shopping all day long. If one looked from afar or even from up close all one could see would be…

“Mommy, look! The bags are moving by themselves!! Suggoii!!!”

“Eh…. Maybe it’s the ghost…”

“Daddy… Can you buy me the bags that can move without being carried?”


And so on. Takamina scoffed and kept on walking. It was nothing new to be made fun of. More like, there were many who really didn’t see her but it was not her fault. She was always tiny thanks to her parents being not tall too. The reason why she bought this unreasonable amount of bags…

She shook her head, not wanting to dwell on the sad and depressing memories, and kept walking. She could faintly see where to go through the small opening between the bag on her head and the one in her mouth but it was enough for her to swiftly (!) move past the streets and rushing people to her destination.

Suddenly she stumbled and fell on the asphalt, more like sprawled there, the bags fully covering her tiny body. She groaned and tried to move but the sharp pain around her waistline made her stop in her tracks. Her fingers ran the skin under the banana parka, feeling the wound from a while ago with her fingertips, realizing it apparently opened and blood now was rushing out of it.

Grumbling once again and enduring the pain she moved the bags from herself and stood up. Gladly the blood was running not too fast and she fell in front of her house’s door so it was easy to grab and drag the bags inside. Leaving them and the shoes by the doorstep she then slouched to the bathroom and took a first aid kit.

After taking care of her wound and emptying the bags she plopped herself on the sofa in the living room. The baka midget forgot about the wound so ended up groaning yet once again. She closed her eyes and the memories from this morning resurfaced despite her efforts to try and fall asleep.


~flashback~

“Takamina-san… How far are you prepared to go? How long are you going to do this?”

“Sasshi… I think I had enough… But I say that every time, don’t I?”

Minami’s right-hand nodded her head in a sad manner and patted her boss.

“I’m sure you don’t want to hurt them and I know they all say you won’t… But do you really believe in that, that you can so simply walk away without leaving them heartbroken?”

“No… I know I hurt them… But what can I do?... I have to forget…” Takahashi slammed her fist into a wall and then kicked it hard. “I have to forget…yet I can’t, no matter how many women I sleep with… I just can’t forget…”

“Then go back and solve things instead of running away, Takamina-san…” Sasshi stated and shook her head. Her boss was such a stubborn person, dealing with things on her own. “Ah, don’t forget you have an appointment with your doctor today!”

“Un… At least one good thing awaits me in the evening… Wait, isn’t it her birthday today?” The chibi asked.

“You have to do something about that memory of yours, Takamina-san... It’s too great…” The hetare woman sighed and glanced at her electronic device. “Yeah, it’s today according to the calendar.”

“Ah, I should bring her a present.” Minami noted more to herself than to her right-hand person.


~end of flashback~


Minami propped herself up and gathered all her strength to go to the dressing room. There she changed into a white shirt, dark blue jacket and black tight pants. The short woman put on a watch, some perfume and combed her short hair. Gritting her teeth because of the pain where her wound resided, she went to the kitchen and picked a gift pouch from the table. She put that into the pocket of her jacket and then went outside. Locking the house’s door, she went to the garage, put on her helmet, jumped on the motorbike and drove into the city, forgetting all the bad things and already enjoying the upcoming meeting.



“Yuki-neechan! Your client came!”

“Hai!” Doctor Kashiwagi Yuki tried to keep her heartbeat steady but that was not easy as only the thought of seeing her private client again made her heart dance Charleston. She checked herself one last time in the mirror and nodded to the reflection. Slightly wavy long black hair, fair white skin, big obsidian colored eyes, black blouse, black pencil skirt and a white doctor’s coat. It was her work outfit. Yet she was at home, so why was she wearing these clothes? To make an impression, obviously.

Yuki went down the stairs and into her study. She noticed her sister laughing at some joke her client probably said and it made Yuki grip the side of her coat. She coughed discreetly – more like really loudly to make sure they notice her presence – and motioned for her sister to leave the room.

“Mou, neechan, you’re no fun~” the young girl pouted playfully and headed towards the door, not forgetting to wink to the client before leaving.

“Milky!” Yuki shouted once and it was enough for her sister to scuttle away because the black aura, that the doctor sometimes had showing up, made her fear for her dear life.

Her client casted the deep stare on Yuki and she blushed really hard. Her feet didn’t want to move but she put all strength she got and sat on her chair behind the desk.

“Good evening, Takahashi-san.” The black haired beauty said, trying to stop her voice from shaking. Her cheeks were flushed and she looked anywhere but at her client.

“Good evening, doctor Kashiwagi.” A low voice made Yuki look at the chibi woman. The midget looked stunning tonight and it made Yuki’s heart nearly jump out of her chest. “I am here like you appointed.”

“G..good.. Well…” Yuki inhaled some air. “Brace yourself, Yuki. You have to be professional….

“Well?” Takahashi raised her eyebrow, trying not to smirk and Yuki frowned, realizing how it was easy for her tiny yet gorgeous client to read her.

“I think I should ask you how your wound is…” the black haired doctor started and her eyes darted at the white shirt, trying not to blush from the perverted thoughts in her head. Her imagination was driving her nuts, making her wonder about the body under that shirt.

“It’s fine.” Minami dropped the topic and smiled gently. “But I can easily tell you really want to inspect it, am I not right?”

“I am your doctor and I am worried about your health, it’s my duty to inspect your wound…” Yuki blushed at the thought of touching that perfectly toned skin.

“Well…” Takahashi was about to tease the doctor more, but seeing those beautiful eyes going really wide she realized it was wrong to switch her sitting position. The jacket went slightly apart, revealing the red mark on her shirt slowly getting bigger and bigger due to the wound opening up once again. Those plump inviting lips opened wide and Minami could barely control herself.

“Takahashi-san!!” Yuki quickly stood up and was about to reach for the white shirt but little did she know that this action shattered the last drop of patience for the midget woman. Yuki was pulled into a deep kiss which made her jolt out of sheer surprise, her eyes nearly bulging out of the sockets.

The kiss was deep, sucking air out of her, while the impatient tongue explored her mouth. All she could do was hold onto the jacket tightly in order not to fall onto Minami completely. Yuki tried to find some logic in her head and tried to remind herself that she is a doctor, and that this all should stop right this minute. However,  the lack of air turned her head into a jelly and it was really hard to produce any logical statement. She was about to give up when the kiss suddenly ended, leaving her panting and gasping for air. The midget chuckled and brushed her thumb over Yuki’s parted lips.

“If you want to inspect me, Kashiwagi-san, you have to be fair.” In a deep and low voice Minami stated.

“Wha….t… do you mean…by that..?”

“If you want to touch me, let me touch you too. Where your fingers brush my skin, my fingers brush your skin also. Where I feel you touching me, I shall touch you there too.” Minami pulled gently on the lower lip of the black haired doctor. “It’s the only way for you to inspect me, or I’ll take my leave.”

“Eh… EEEEH?!!!”


END of Chapter 1.



REPLIES.

@kahem: we'll see about Haruna, and yes, Reina is funny. She is always funny, even in real life - at least me being her No.1 fan and stalking all behind the scene videos was able to make sure of that XD

@stv_wong: I know you're a wTomo fan and we'll see how the story progresses when I update it someday  :nervous if you have questions about the members, dun be afraid to ask  :)

@deH: I am happy you like this  :bow: I'll be sure to update it someday soon  :nervous

@cisda83: hai, arigatou for commenting  :bow:
Title: Re: My Beautiful. Chapter 1 [10/21] <AtsuYuu, MariMii, other couples undecided>
Post by: Kazan on October 21, 2013, 09:10:38 PM
 :twothumbs :twothumbs :twothumbs i'm looking forward to the sequel
Title: Re: My Beautiful. Chapter 1 [10/21] <AtsuYuu, MariMii, other couples undecided>
Post by: mayuki_daisuki on October 21, 2013, 09:54:13 PM
takamina and yuki kissed?! :shocked
i am speechless at the ending... (although i admit it was hot) :lol: :inlove:
thanx for this sakura-san!~ :cow: :bow:
Title: Re: My Beautiful. Chapter 1 [10/21] <AtsuYuu, MariMii, other couples undecided>
Post by: BbSis on October 21, 2013, 10:31:16 PM
Sakuchan~  this was cool! A self conscious player Takamidget!
I got my attention here ;p I'm curious about what is gonna happen~
and while I don't see the MariMii, I'll enjoy the good plot ;)
Title: Re: My Beautiful. Chapter 1 [10/21] <AtsuYuu, MariMii, other couples undecided>
Post by: cisda83 on October 22, 2013, 10:18:44 AM
AN update at last...

Minami such a player here....

Eh... it's atsuYuu story...

Who Minami is going to end up with?

Can't wait to see the next

Thank you for the update

 :twothumbs :twothumbs :twothumbs
Title: Re: My Beautiful. Chapter 1 [10/21] <AtsuYuu, MariMii, other couples undecided>
Post by: applelink on October 22, 2013, 12:36:01 PM
Just reading sakura-san is "Drastic Change".. its good..  waiting for your next update then  XD and just some deduction that I want to express which I know the story already far away, about the chapter before, that Haruna tear off the fan letters because she hate lesbian that I think there was a connection with Tomochin, right?  XD if that right, I'm waiting for the story behind them..  is seems interesting.. and sorry, if that was wrong *Gah, it'll be embarrassing if that was wrong,  but just want to saying things that have been my mind  XD* and, sorry again for such long comment here.. but I would like to say, your fics was good, better than mine certainly.. I like your fics that maybe you don't know because I'm usually just a silent reader in this forum  :lol: so don't let that thinks make you down,  it's all that I want to say.. hehehehe and update it soon  :twisted: :lol: :lol:
Title: Re: My Beautiful. Chapter 1 [10/21] <AtsuYuu, MariMii, other couples undecided>
Post by: AshuraX on October 22, 2013, 02:02:46 PM
TakaYuki~~~~!!!!!

TKMN's so popular XD and dirty. Unlike the other fic, Drastic Change. I like DC since it has TomoTaka. Hooray TomoTaka! As for MB, I like how ya use TKMN's height against her XD And not to mention she's getting kinda ahead of herself. O.O There's no way my TKMN could be this full of herself!!! Hot TakaYuki scene there~ =w=b

Thanks as per usual, Saku~ And I shall wait for le AtsuYuu~!!!
Title: Re: My Beautiful. Chapter 1 [10/21] <AtsuYuu, MariMii, other couples undecided>
Post by: LoyalFlutist on March 30, 2014, 08:29:40 PM
I apologize for the nth time about replying late to this fiction. As promised, here's a response to this work that you have updated so far at its current state.

Before I start, I will make note of something that I've seen on here. I see there's a HUGE improvement between the year of 2012 and 2013 with your writing technique. To be honest, reading through the 2012 version with the first couple chunks of the fiction was a little struggle. (Possibly due to the formatting though, LOL.) But at the most recent update, I could see that you jumped far ahead in your writing ability. So kudos to you there! :)

In regard to the story, I like the dialogues and exchanges between the characters. Though I'll mainly be focusing on the recent update, I could tell the characters are speaking for themselves rather than a writer who just stuffed their mouth with words. Definitely flows well back and forth. Most importantly, it shows that you have mastered the interactions via dialogues. :)

This caught me by surprise:

Quote
“Yuki-neechan! Your client came!”

“Hai!” Doctor Kashiwagi Yuki tried to keep her heartbeat steady but that was not easy as only the thought of seeing her private client again made her heart dance Charleston.

Now here is something new. We always saw Yuki playing the nurse role. So to see her be a doctor is a nice change for once, haha. Glad you implemented that into your fiction here. And boy, Minami here really is different from the stereotypical role and aura that she carries around. Once again, it's good to see something different with the characters in the role of the story. :) Not to mention that TakaYuki scene is... well... I didn't see that coming at all, LOL.

You should continue this fiction! :) I apologize in regard to such a short response. I'll do my best to bring out a better quality and quantity post the next time I get a chance to comment. On the other hand, ganbatte and continue to keep that pen/pencil/cursor moving throughout your writing hobby life! :deco:
Title: Re: My Beautiful. Chapter 1 [10/21] <AtsuYuu, MariMii, other couples undecided>
Post by: chiqinna on May 13, 2014, 03:28:29 PM
wew~ I only read TakaYuki part~~  XD XD XD
wew~ love it~  :yep: :heart: :heart: :heart:
ta~ ta~
Title: Re: My Beautiful. Chapter 1 [10/21] <AtsuYuu, MariMii, other couples undecided>
Post by: sakura_drop_ on January 14, 2016, 11:41:08 PM
A/n.  :gmon peakaboo:

 :gmon hi:

honestly, it's been ages since the last time I posted anything in here... or updated any of my works. Not gonna shower you with excuses, just gonna drop this update here. Replies are at the end of the update. I hope guys enjoy this~

 :gmon witch:



My Beautiful

Prologue (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=35759.msg1202759#msg1202759)

Chapter 1 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32162.msg1233862#msg1233862)

Chapter 2


“If you want to touch me, let me touch you too. Where your fingers brush my skin, my fingers brush your skin also. Where I feel you touching me, I shall touch you there too.” Minami pulled gently on the lower lip of the black haired doctor. “It’s the only way for you to inspect me, or I’ll take my leave.”

“Eh… EEEEH?!!!”

"You heard me. So either we begin or I'll leave." Minami's finger now was gently caressing Yuki's cheek.

"B-but... you cannot leave!!!" Kashiwagi protested, her eyes casting glances between the big red spot on her client's white shirt and those smirking lips that were kissing her so fervently just minutes ago. "Your wound needs to be treated!!!"

"Then take care of it~~~" Takahashi was really looking forward to see what the next move of the beautiful doctor was going to be.

"..." Yuki gulped and tried to retained her professional side. Her shaky fingers started undoing buttons of Takahashi's shirt, revealing a small chest under sports bra and refined abs that were marred by a bleeding wound. She gasped when Minami did the same to her, undoing Yuki's black blouse's buttons with much confidence. The beautiful doctor cheeks flushed in deep red color when her client's finger traced the outline of Yuki's black lace bra. "L-let me...concen-trate...please"

"But I am merely giving you the same treatment. Don't you think that I am also affected by your touches?" Minami asked in a low voice, watching Yuki straightening her back and walking around the office, picking all the things she needed to proceed with the wound treatment. "You never asked me where I've got this from..."

"I assumed you won't tell me... Will you?" Kashiwagi brought the tray over and placed it on the side table. She took a damp cloth and pressed it gently over the wound, until it absorbed the excessive amount of blood, and couldn't help but smirk when Minami let out a low grunt. She didn't need to ask; the petite female held the damp cloth herself while Yuki removed the old stitches remnants and prepared a sterile needle and thread. She then waited for Minami to remove the cloth and then started disinfecting the wound with another piece of cloth, soaked in the disinfectant solution. Minami let out another hiss and took in a few sharp breaths. After getting used to the inconvenience she finally spoke.

"It's funny really, how it was my own fault, I mean, I got distracted." Minami said while her fingers traced Yuki's abdomen, watching it shiver under the touch and the doctor's cheeks once again tinting with red. "Me and my best friend were practicing fencing, then a distraction was in sight and I lost focus."

"Your best friend stabbed you?!" Kashiwagi made one of her reactions and shook her head, pulling the thread through the needle and getting ready to close the wound. She had no idea why her client was so against painkillers, but to argue with Takahashi was not something she ever wanted to do. "Well...you know it's gonna hurt, right?"

"If it's you, I don't mind the---UGH." Minami was somehow able to twist her body in such a way, that while Yuki was still able to attend to the wound, the smaller woman sunk her teeth into the inviting neck of the black haired doctor.

"Tak---" Yuki gasped, the sound very reminiscent that of a hushed moan, yet continued stitching, hoping her professional side can finish the job until her body went limp under the older woman's seduction. Her body was already on fire and all she wanted at that moment was to bask in Takahashi's embrace, but she had a task at hand to finish. Over the remaining time that she was stitching, not one or two but way more hushed moans escaped Yuki's lips, yet she was somehow able to properly close the wound without complications. At that point Minami was suckling on the skin just above the beautiful lace that Yuki's bra was covered with. The doctor placed the bandage over the wound and let out another moan. "The----re---nnnmn..."

"Mm~" It was easy to ignore the pain when the sweet soft skin was shivering under her teeth. Minami pulled back and focused her deep gaze onto Yuki's half lidded eyes. "The distraction I was talking about. Care to know who it was?"

Yuki simply nodded, unable to utter a word, slightly panting from overwhelming fire in her whole body. Suddenly Minami's finger slipped behind the lace and started tracing circles on Kashiwagi's sensitive mounds, making the doctor moan and hold onto Takahashi firmly.

"She was once my girlfriend... I thought we loved each other..." Minami stopped for a second, letting Yuki grasp what was said. "I don't blame her though, she came to visit her lover."

Yuki's confused gaze made Minami chuckle.

"I didn't know it then. Well, actually, just a week ago her and that best friend of mine got married." With those words Minami closed the distance, tasting those delicious lips again, her hand getting bolder with the ministrations, making Yuki melt under the touch.


---


She moved her body automatically, swaying her hips from side to side, lazily scanning the area she was in. The club was crowded with all sorts of people, not that she cared much anyways. Her intoxicated body felt light and her mind actually gave no f*cks. Someone's hands gripped her as* and she even leaned to the touch, not even realizing she was being groped. Alcohol made everything so much more easier, it all was a blur to her, yet over the past week this was the woman's every day thing. Some old geezer pulled her into a kiss and she lazily rolled her tongue over his, not minding anything in this world.

So it was a huge surprise to her after she opened her eyes only to find herself seated by the bar.

"Haruna... You shouldn't drink this much..." A tall Ikemen woman spoke and gave a glass of a bubbling see through liquid to the confused woman.

"What...you here...Mari-chan..." She gulped the drink and nearly spit it out, scrunching her face in disgust. "Ew, water."

"Of course I gave you water, to clear your mind from alcohol at least a bit." Shinoda Mariko spoke and sighed. "Look, I know it's hard...but it doesn't mean coming here and drinking till you're unconscious and in some old geezer's arms is going to solve anything..."

"Then...make...forget...Mari-chan..." Kojima slurred out and leaned over, her intoxicated eyes casting a sultry look on the woman in front of her, her hands sneaking around the firm waist. "Kiss me..."

"You're drunk."

"So?"

"I have a girlfriend."

"Won't." Haruna scoffed. "Find out. No. Kiss me"

"I don't care. I love Miichan."

"Our...past...don't care?.." Haruna tried to pull off a sad look but if most, it looked really pathetic to Mariko. "Kiss me..."

"It was a one night stand, Haruna... A consolatory one after Yuuko rejected you... It meant nothing." Shinoda sighed and somehow was able to pull the woman off of herself. "Let me take you home."

"Home... tomorrow work..." Kojima murmured and giggled. "Is...rain?"

With those words she slumped in Mariko's arms, suddenly succumbing to sleep.

"Yeah...I'll take you home..."


END of Chapter 2.



REPLIES.

@Kazan: here it is, hope you like it :)

@mayuki_daisuki: cous~~~ hehe, it's gonna get even hotter at this chapter lol

@BbSis: dun worry, soon there's gonna be plenty of MariMii ;) thanks for liking it :)

@cisda83: I just want to say that even though Minami seems infatuated by Yuki, it doesn't necessarily mean she is gonna end up with her. So your question really shall get some applause xD I like player Taka

@applelink: oh, I dunno when will I update it, but it might be someone you maybe never expected, or simply a random fan xD glad you like Drastic Chnage and I hope I can update it someday, recently been procrastinating a lot xD

@AshuraX: TomoTaka is great, right?! AtsuYuu in the next chapter probably. And I like this ahead of herself Taka, I cannot wait to show you all even more of this Minami  :roll:

@LoyalFlutist: shachou!!!! I love your comments!!! Thanks for taking time and commenting!!! It means a lot to me, you know that  :bow: I never know how to reply to these construcive well thought of comments, so I am just gonna thank you from the bottom of my heart. and you know, doctor Yuki is hot :inlove: hope you enjoy this one too, though I feel really rusty and this update's quality is probably not as great... oTL

chiqinna: here's more TakaYuki to you ;)
Title: Re: My Beautiful. Chapter 2 [01/15] <AtsuYuu, MariMii, other couples undecided>
Post by: chiqinna on January 21, 2016, 02:51:42 AM
*-*) /
hello~ it's me...
I read the first part again and then second part..lolz
thanks for the takayuki tho its short..
annndd.. Intriguing.. lolz
mooooooreeeeee!!!
its not enough!! Dx
I want mooooreeee!!!
(is actually craving for TakaYuu too ...just saying..)
and noona please...
A.L.I.V.E
>_>
Title: Re: My Beautiful. Chapter 2 [01/15] <AtsuYuu, MariMii, other couples undecided>
Post by: Darathon on January 21, 2016, 04:44:45 AM
Atsuyuu is cute too! Good story, takamina tho   8)

Update soon! I really like this story