A/N: I'm back...? Erm, I'm kinda nervous hahaha on this update, I think I might have.......um, how you say it, erm I think I made this the worst of all I've written?
Uwah... I don't really feel confident in posting this, but well, its kind of a waste not to post this 10 pages long (yes, on Microsoft word) update. I'm confident and very apologetic to say that this shot won't be finished on this update...so I hope you will still stick to me until the next parts (I don't even know how long this will be, I hope I can just end this soon... I'm prolonging this too much, I kind of wanna blame my mind and its imagination....
)
I wonder though, should I get a beta...? I feel like my grammar is lacking and I'm very verbose with my stories, this doesn't seem so good to me...uhh....
Um, let's get on with the replies that I got before we continue on... Oh right, the other replies that I got from Part III of Chinmoku are commented and replied over
here, if anyone's wondering.
Replies:
@kahem - Yeah, poor Rena/Geki.
@sakura_drop_ - This seems to be the longest comment I've ever received from you, not the usual long comments filled with emoticons, I'm quite honored to be honest to get a comment this long from you. I'm glad you're liking it, thank you very much! Erm, I didn't expect this to be THIS long either, if you know what I mean, hahaha, I'm kinda...well, shocked how long this one is and how many pages it consists when its all combined in MS Word...ahahaha....
@XxRoByNxX78 - A very optimistic thought! I wonder if Geki will pick that kind of thought...
@immortal_K - Thank you very much for dropping by! I hope you're doing well over there, being busy is kinda an over kill to the health, kinda experienced it a few times, hope you stay healthy and well!
Now! Let's just get it on with this update, then I'll try to look for a hole and bury myself into it. I hope though that I didn't go overboard here...wuaha, I kinda...how you say it, got this idea from
LeNosferatu over at her
BuraGeki no Ichinichi, if you're reading this LeNosferatu-san, sorry, I lied a bit hahaha...it seems I did try to attempt to write it, well a little bit of it...?
Erm, anyways, hope you enjoy reading? I'll try to look for a hole right now while you all are reading....
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Chinmoku
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Part IV
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Warm…Everything felt warm, yet it was supposed to be cold. Because its night. It was supposed to be cold, yet Black could not feel the harshness of the wind, no, she couldn’t feel it. She just felt warm, too warm. Her body almost felt like it was on fire.
It’s warm, so warm that Black could feel herself sweating, it was very noticeable to her too that she was losing control of her breathing, she was breathless. The body pressed on her own was warming her own body, they were pressed too close, there was little to no space between them. It was making her heart pound fast, faster than normal that she could feel that her chest was hurting so much that her heart might suddenly jump out of her chest, yet she did not protest.
The shock written on Black’s face was instantly replaced with an indescribable expression of pleasure when she felt Gekikara press her lips even more on her own. The older girl’s eyes automatically closed, as if in reflex.
Her cheeks were flushed, no, her whole body was flushed. Her senses were going over the wire that it was hard to focus without a single thought in her mind. Even if she wanted to think of something, she just couldn’t, not with that soft warm sensation on her lips, not with her wrapped in a tight embrace, not with shorter queen kissing her this way.
It was too much.Lips on lips; flesh on flesh, the mixed sensation of the other girl’s warm lips on hers, moving slowly with the younger queen’s tongue exploring her mouth, ever so often brushing on her own tongue, touching, caressing before it seeks to dance and entwine itself on her warm wet flesh. It sent sparks flying inside Black; it was as if electricity was flowing inside her body.
Black moaned in a small undeniably husky voice, her hands automatically grasping tightly onto Gekikara’s shoulders for support.
Gekikara sighed softly into the kiss, softly suckling the older girl’s bottom lip before she gave it a small lick, making Black moan again, this time a bit louder than that of the first. Hearing the raven moan was unarguably the most sexiest sound Gekikara ever heard, it made the younger queen groan when she heard the older girl’s moan.
The younger teen wanted more; she wanted more of Black, of the kiss, and of her moans.
The older girl’s voice just sends Gekikara’s heart into a mad dash; it was thumping fast and hard, very unlike her usual stone cold battered heart. Hearing Black make sounds like this, hearing the person she loves so much make this kinds of sounds was too much. Just hearing the tall raven’s sound of pleasure was even enough to drive Gekikara over the wall.
It was too much.
Too much.Gekikara felt delirious, her lungs were screaming for air, yet she did not want to part her lips with Black’s, the stimuli that she was receiving was just too much addicting, it was as if she just took drugs in one big go. The effects of Black’s lips on her own was just like getting a glimpse of heaven but Gekikara could not deny her body from air, she could already tell that the older girl was breathless.
Unwillingly, the shorter queen broke the kiss, sighing again almost too softly while her lungs took in as much oxygen as it could. Gekikara could also feel the former queen's swift puffs of air, given how close their faces were, it was warm and ticklish, yet Gekikara did not care, she did not giggle, she just stood there silently, catching her own breath.
The younger queen looked up and gazed at Black, feeling her heart stop for a second at the sight of the older girl’s flushed sweaty face. Gekikara could not help herself from watching the older teen, how the former queen’s eyes were closed tightly, watching her eyebrows sometimes twitch or how plump and full Black’s cherry pink lips were.
Gekikara’s cheeks were now turning into a deep crimson red shade, she could feel herself let out a shaky breath. Her palm was starting to get sweaty and her mind was hazy, Gekikara did not even notice that she was leaning towards Black or how her lips moved softly, kissing Black’s neck, her teeth grazing the former queen’s porcelain skin. The younger queen was out of her own mind, it was as if someone had given her alcohol.
She was feeling too high.
Black shivered, almost instantly when she felt something graze her skin before it was replaced by soft warm flesh, licking and suckling her flesh. Black mewled at the ticklish wet feeling on her neck before her mewl become a loud moan when she felt sharp pointy teeth plunge down her sensitive flesh. Black’s grip on Gekikara’s shoulders tightened, she could feel her knees wobble unstably.
“…A-Ahh…!” Black moaned, her body twitching as she felt Gekikara’s sharp teeth nibble the skin of her neck, making small wet trails from her jaw line down towards her collarbone before going back up to the mid of her neck.
‘…Black…’Gekikara’s closed her eyes tightly and sank her teeth even more onto the former queen’s flesh before she released it after sucking hard, drawing blood from the small wound that she inflicted. Black gasped at the pain that was invading her senses, it hurts yet somehow it felt pleasurable that she had to stifle out a groan from escaping her lips.
Gekikara paused for a moment, staring at the wound she made, noticing small droplets of blood slowly coming out from the wound before she leaned back again and licked it up, pressing small soothing kisses on that small-wounded spot. Whilst nursing Black’s small wound, the younger queen’s hands slowly roamed down from Black’s shoulders to her side, before it slipped inside former queen’s black T-shirt.
The taller teen shivered, feeling cool soft hands caressing her skin, almost teasingly towards north, her palm brushing the older girl’s curvaceous figure. Gekikara bit her bottom lip, feeling her want and need increase with each caress, each kisses she placed onto Black’s body.
Addicting.
She was just too addicting.
Black only made it worst for Gekikara when the younger teen paused for a moment to look up, only for her whole attention to be captivated by Black’s flushed sweaty face, looking helpless yet non-resisting, almost seductive even with her mouth agape, panting cutely while looking shyly. Gekikara felt her blood boil, her heart’s beating increasing thrice than the norm and her resistance crumbling.
The younger queen felt her breath being taken away from her, she felt so breathless.
Gekikara closed her eyes again, trying to catch her breath, her brows knitted together in concentration. She could feel small beads of sweat drip down her jaw; she could feel the heat, her heart beating so hard in her chest and her own wanton thoughts and desires.
She was having an internal clash inside her, the fact that she was going overboard, the fact that she had just kissed Black, pressing on her feelings for the raven. Gekikara felt anxiety eating on her as well as her desires, she tried to reason out, trying to control herself, but each time her own little reasoning mind lost to her own wants, her resistance crumbled faster.
“Gekikara…” Black huskily whispered after having been able to recover a little bit of her mental functions.
“Rena…” The older teen called again, this time using the younger queen’s real name, as if trying to catch Gekikara’s attention. The tone she held on her voice was an apparent tone of worry, yet it was very appealing, it made the said queen open her eyes to look at Black, looking at the older queen, her expression marred by a frown and her eyes covered by the look of uncertainty, clouded over by a hazy fog.
Both of them stood still there, gazing at each other under the starry night sky, in that very empty and silent street. One looked slightly worried and at lost, while the other looked unreadable, it only served to make the former queen worry even more. Gekikara however did not take in this little detail due to her own deliriousness.
“Hey…” Black called again a small tone, yet even with her soft small call, even in her own state; Black tried to reach to the younger queen, raising up a hand and gently caressed Gekikara’s cheeks, wiping off the sweat dripping down her porcelain skin, making Gekikara tense up at the slightest touch Black did.
Electrifying, Gekikara felt sparks when Black touched her skin, she could almost feel that she was electrocuted by just a small amount with the heated prickling sensation on her skin. There was also the feeling on the pit of her stomach, it was lurching almost painfully, and it made her anxious. Gekikara did not know whether she was phrasing it right or wrong, she did not care, but it felt like she had butterflies in her stomach.
Too much.
Too much.
It was just too much to handle.Gekikara fidgeted uneasily, her jaw clenched in a tense manner. It was too hard to resist the older girl, not when her heart and mind was urging her to continue on, pushing on the feelings of love she’s been repressing for so long, those hidden affections which she tried to bottle up and forget.
The former queen stared worriedly at the shorter teen with half-lidded eyes, cheeks flushed and hair slightly in disheveled state, her black tracksuit jacket slowly slipping off her shoulders, exposing her black T-shirt and her collarbone, a small noticeable reddish mark on the skin of her neck could be seen perfectly well under the light of the sidewalk lamp.
Black looked amazingly beautiful, much more, she looked so tempting, Gekikara tried yet again to keep herself and her urges at bay, yet she failed badly in the process, not with Black looked so inviting in front of her, not with the other girl this up close.
‘I can’t take it anymore…’
‘…I can’t.’Gekikara gritted her teeth, her eyes shut tightly. She swiftly reached up, grabbing Black’s wrists and pinning them to the wall, earning a gasp and startled yelp from the older teen.
Black winced and hissed at the painfully tight pressure around her wrists and was about to protest about it when out of a sudden, Gekikara kissed her again, this time much more rougher and demanding, almost to the point of bruising the former queen’s lips.
Gekikara’s freed her other hand from holding onto Black’s wrist and used her other hand to hold them down. With her left hand free, the shorter teen ran her hand down Black’s back, traveling much lower down.
“W-Wait…”
“…S-Stop…”
Black struggled from Gekikara’s grasp, her mind ringing in alarm; the panic and fear in the former queen’s wide eyes were starting to form. Each second that passed by, the younger girl was starting to get rougher and rougher with each caresses and each kisses, it started to scare the raven, as if it was triggering something inside her.
Black tried to pry away the younger girl’s lips away; it only served to annoy Gekikara, earning an angry growl from the shorter queen, her angry scowl almost uncharacteristically aimed at Black. In her own delirious state of mentality and wanton needs, Gekikara pushed every boundary down by promptly roughly caressing Black.
“S-Stop…!”
Black squirmed at soft hands roughly treating her body, reminding her body of the painful experience she felt that she had so much wanted to forget.
Memories began to flash back into her head, of the man, of that night, with her helplessly begging, asking the man to stop, yet only to receive a sneering reply and cackling from the man. She could painfully remember and almost feel the man’s rough calloused hands violating her, probing into her helpless and weak body.
She was helpless under the man’s control, she could only cry out in pain, in sadness and remorse over her situation as it went on and on for what had seem to have been eternity. The man only stopped until he had gotten tired of her and was satisfied with torturing her empty soul, until she was lying broken and naked on the ground with bruises and wounds covering her weakened and battered body.
Remembering that certain memory was like having a knife pointed at the center of Black’s heart, it was hurting her too much just by remembering, and it was as if she was reliving that experience right now.
Black felt her body start to turn stiff, as if it underwent rigor mortis. Her senses were going haywire from fear, she could not even distinguish Gekikara’s form anymore, nor could she even remember that the person in front of her was the younger queen.
“No…!”
“Get away from me!”
It was an action that went instinctively, Black did what her old weak self had not done before, she punched the person that was pressed onto her, she punched it with such force that the younger queen stumbled down, landing hard on the concrete pavement with a loud plop.
Gekikara sat on the pavement, looking down at the floor with wide eyes, clutching onto her bruised cheek, shock written all over her face. Clearly, the younger girl was caught off guard with that swift action, seeing the severity of the punch Black inflicted, cutting Gekikara’s lips.
Gekikara felt anxious all of a sudden, it was as if someone had dropped down large concrete blocks on her body. The younger girl struggled to prop herself into a comfortable sitting position before she tried to look at Black, almost hesitantly even.
Fear was creeping close to her all of a sudden. The deliriousness that had once clouded her head was now replaced by a threatening feeling of anxiety eating her away.
She looked up. Gekikara’s eyes did not stop nor avert itself from the older queen’s figure, and once she had her eyes focused onto Black’s face. She could not tear her eyes off her, not from the desires that was urging her a while ago, not because she was breathlessly caught in Black’s ethereal beauty, but because of the horror that was quickly falling down on her.
“B-Bla…ck.”
Gekikara saw tears cascading down, tears that seemed to be never ending.
It scared Gekikara, it was petrifying, and it was chewing onto her conscience, guiltily mocking her. Gekikara wanted to deny of the guilt that she felt, but she remembered, she remembered vividly of her own insolence. Of her own faulty actions, of what she had done.
She had just sullied Black with her own hands; she had pushed her and violated her space, going as far as to treat her roughly out of her own selfish wanton desires.
She was going too far.
Gekikara felt at a loss of word, not knowing what to say, not knowing what to do. She just stared at Black in silences, enduring whatever prickling pain she felt in her heart as the droplet of tears continued to flow.
She did not want this to happen.
This was not what Gekikara intended to do. She did not want to make Black sad; she did not want to see the other girl cry, all she just wanted was for the other girl to loosen up and be like her old self.
Clenching her fists tight, the younger queen forced herself to slowly stand up and approach Black as quietly as possible as to not to startle the other girl, she did not even bothering to wipe off the blood from her busted lips nor even dust off the dirt on her short.
She reached up a trembling hand towards Black’s direction, towards the former queen of darkness, but midway, Gekikara’s hand halted when she saw Black’s body jerked slightly and the older teen take a few steps away from her, cowering with her arms wrapped around her body securely.
Gekikara scoffed at herself angrily for her own failure, yet she felt sadness, knowing what she had done was wrong. She was pressing her emotions too much on Black.
Gekikara let her hand fall back to her side; she already knew that it was pointless to try to touch Black, not when she was avoiding her. She already knew it, she wasn’t stupid to understand how much the older girl was scared, the fear was visible not just on her face, but in her eyes as well that was usually void of other emotions, except on certain moments.
She saw it.
She knew what this meant.
This was rejection.
The sane queen grasped the hem of her white blouse with trembling hands, as if in anger, as in fear, the emotions were mixed up, nevertheless; Gekikara looked away in shame, unable to face Black, unable to look at the disheveled state of Black’s appearance, which was her own doing.
She was causing a lot of distress.
She was becoming a problem.
Black’s problem.
Again.Gekikara stood still, looking down at the pavement with her mind heavy and clouded with negative thoughts.
What was she doing?
Ah, what was she doing indeed…?
Was this how she was going to repay Black’s kindness?
In
this kind of way?
Yes, they were right.
Ah, that’s right, everyone was right.
She is
worthless.
‘So it has finally come this, isn’t it…?’
‘This day, which I have been dreading for so long in the past…’ Gekikara mused, her train of thoughts wrapped up in sadness. There was nothing she could do anyways, the damage was done, what was there left for her to pick up and repair.
Of course, there was none.
This was caused by her own self-destruction.
It was laughable.
She could almost hear voices, voices in her head, snickering and cackling.
Again, those voices that were belittling her.
Again…A small smile formed on Gekikara’s lips, her eyes were covered by her bangs. It was eerie, her smile was eerie. Her eyes were also glinting behind her bangs, dangerously. A small noise left her lips; it was low and inaudible at first, until it grew louder, almost frighteningly loud.
Gekikara giggled and laughed insanely, she could hear the laughter in her head and she laughed along, she laughed along with the little tricks her unstable mind was pushing onto her.
She didn’t care.
She did not want to care.
She took a quick glance at the shivering figure in front of her, and it only served to increased the speed and intensity of the bites Gekikara did on her nails, until her nails were already damaged, until she was even biting on her own fingers, yet she did not stop, no she didn’t.
“Black…”
She continued to giggle, biting her own fingers, wounding them and bruising them in the process, causing blood to ooze from the cuts.
“Hehehe…” The young heavenly queen raised her head up, snickering, continuing to bite her bloody wounded hand, blood continued to flow and the intense stench of copper floated in the air, it made Black cringe.
The smell of blood overpowering her sense of smell, the smell of copper was not likeable nor exactly disgusting, but served to calm her distressed mind. It was like a stabilizer, almost.
Black felt her senses come back, it was as if cloud was gone from her head, and the memories, the scenes that were flashing in her head was gone and was replaced by the image of reality, of now.
With all her senses back, everything was crystal-clear now that Black could even hear loud sounds of footsteps slowly; little by little it started to sound smaller, as if it was coming from a distance. Black frowned and looked up, noticing a shadow, a figure, hiding over in the darkness of the street, standing a few meters away from her.
“Rena?” Black mumbled in confusion, her voice hoarse and her throat dry from crying.
“…Yuki.” Gekikara replied out the former queen’s name, her real name, without any formal suffixes, after a long time. It hurts though, it hurts to say Black’s name at this current moment, she couldn’t even snicker anymore.
The former queen slowly wiped off the remaining tears off her face and started blinking for quite a few times as she tried to adjust her eyes into something that was capable to see through the darkness.
She couldn’t laugh and so she only resorted to smile sadly, a sad broken forced smile, noticing that the former queen’s eyes were finally on her.
She was finally looking at her; she was finally calling her by her name even!
It was cruel though, how Black was only doing it right now, when she’s about to walk away, when she’s about to leave the older girl, just when she’s about to exit out of Black’s life.
Ah, it’s cruel.
How cruel.
God must be cruel.
Because it hurts.
It hurts.
This distance hurts, Gekikara tried not to twist in pain, the pain that was coming from her heart. She didn’t, she already decided on it.
There’s no turning back now.
It was time to leave.
“Ne…”
“Sorry…”
“…For everything.” Gekikara said, her words coming out in small quantities and in large pauses. It was hard to say something, not when she had decided to leave, not when it hurts.
Yet she wasn’t going to stop, she wouldn’t falter.
No, she swore she wouldn’t.
If she just did…
She might not be able to hold back.
Gekikara started to take small steps backward, little by little, the distance grew, and little by little, she couldn’t see Black’s face anymore, nor could she hear anything from the Black, whether it was by pure silence or due to the distance that was between them.
“Sorry…”
“Just…sorry.”
“It seems…I can’t keep my end of the promise…”
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End of Part IV
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A/N: Gotta say though... I've tried to write this kind of things before in the past, I kind of fail epicly on it, so I can't say...I did this well, and I can say that I, Sieka, have official screwed up, badly even.
See you...maybe? Or maybe I'll lose some readers right now, oh well... I'll resort to plan A! *Jumps into a hole*
Topic: Sieka's Collections [01/20/13 - ON HIATUS] (Read 103768 times)