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- THE CHAPTERS WERE DELETED BY THE WRITER -
R I V E R
Main Index
- Chapter 1 (Posted 9/10/11)
- Chapter 2 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg943622#msg943622) (Posted 9/11/11)
- Chapter 3 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg945078#msg945078) (Posted 9/15/11)
- Chapter 4 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg947641#msg947641) (Posted 9/22/11)
- Chapter 5 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg950190#msg950190) (Posted 9/29/11)
- Chapter 6 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg952210#msg952210) (Posted 10/2/11)
- Chapter 7 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg953698#msg953698) (Posted 10/6/11)
- Chapter 8 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg954974#msg954974) (Posted 10/8/11)
- Chapter 9 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg956297#msg956297) (Posted 10/8/11)
- Chapter 10 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg957132#msg957132) (Posted 10/13/11)
- Chapter 11 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg958151#msg958151) (Posted 10/15/11)
- Epilogue (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg958989#msg958989) (Posted 10/17/11)
- Afterword (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg958990#msg958990) (Posted 10/17/11)
Extra Chapters:
- Extra I (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg960173#msg960173) – [KojiYuu] (Posted 10/20/11)
- Extra II – A (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg962574#msg962574) – [MaYuki] (Posted 10/27/11)
- Extra II – B (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg1209662#msg1209662) – [MaYuki] (Posted 8/1/13)
- Extra III (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg974317#msg974317) – [KojiYuu/MaYuki] (Posted 12/1/11)
- Extra IV – A (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg1093645#msg1093645) (Posted 9/10/12)
- Extra IV – B (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg1094748#msg1094748) (Posted 9/13/12)
Stupid Sexy Acchan:
A collection of shorts written in dedication to Takahashi Minami's hormonal dilemma, also known as Takahashi Maeda Atsuko.
- SSA Log #1 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg944324#msg944324) – Entered 9/13/11 by Divine Vengeance
- SSA Log #2 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg945803#msg945803) – Entered 9/17/11 by arisa03
- SSA Log #3 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg946454#msg946454) – Entered 9/19/11 by Divine Vengeance
- SSA Log #4 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg948547#msg948547) – Entered 9/25/11 by Divine Vengeance
- SSA Log #5 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg949675#msg949675) – Entered 9/28/11 by arisa03
- SSA Log #6 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg960927#msg960927) – Entered 10/22/11 by Divine Vengeance
- SSA Log #7 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg970921#msg970921) – Entered 10/20/11 by arisa03
- SSA Log #8 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg1062672#msg1062672) – Entered 7/5/12 by Divine Vengeance
- SSA Log #9 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg1201366#msg1201366) – Entered 7/5/13 by Titi
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R I V E R
Chapter 1
(Posted 9/10/11)
A/N: Since I suck at this whole writing thing, apologies for any out-of-character-ness llOTL This is my first time writing since I spend most of my time proofreading instead x.x
Also, sorry if this idea has been used before @_@
Warning: Mild language and violence ahead.
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[REDACTED]
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A/N: And that's Chapter 1~
Sorry if anything is unrealistic, particularly the military rankings and other military stuff llOTL If anything seems unclear, feel free to ask~
As you can see, this is based around AKB's River PV. Some things may or may not be accurate >_>
Also, thanks to arisa03 for assuring me that this is not a piece of crap llOTL
Thank you for reading, and please leave a comment or something ; v ; *shot for begging*
Anon out~
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It's not a piece of crap. It's awesome! <333
"Yuuchan language!" Running joke ftw. LOLOLOLOL I'm loving the language the post. xDD I guess this is the first AKB fic I've read with so much cursing, from Yuko too. LOLOL "Yuuchan language!" Oh yezz forever funny. LOLOL
Army themed AKB fic ftw <33333 I do not mind reassuring you every chapter that everything is awesome. <333333
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Omg omg omg omg omg.....THIS WASN'T BAD *smacks* ZuZu I swear ;___;/ That was effen awesome!
Yuko....She was my favorite in this :heart: :heart: :heart: I feel like, she should cuss more 8D I need chapter 2 pronto! I must read more awesomeness!
Update soon :heart: *rubs jaws from laughing*
P.S First and last sentence FTW
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wah~~~ AKB's soldi fic FTW!!! :w00t:
I listen to river while reading it and its awesome!!! :twothumbs :twothumbs
“Yuuchan, language!”
I LOLed at this :hiakhiakhiak:
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UGH THAT WAS AWESOME~!
RIVER's whole concept was cool so the fact that you based this off that makes it x1000 times better.
Uh so yeah, update I can not wait~! :thumbup
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LOL THIS IS FABULOUS!
I love it! please continue! I look forward to it! ^^v
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I LOVE IT! It was hilarious and well-written! I dunno why but I definitely laughed at Mayuyu and Yuki's fire in the hole thing! And Yuko's language! It was so entertaining! And how you made it based on their song River was so.... INVENTIVE AND CREATIVE( aren't they the same? lol) !!!! MORE PLEASE!
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nice fanfic :twothumbs
Yuko's language :lol: wanting for more Yuko's language in the next chapter :lol:
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Yuko keep swearing! :lol:
But I can't blame her though :lol:
I can't wait for more
please update soon.
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Yeah... this is definitely better than the MV itself. Good Job!!! :thumbsup
And the very first time I see Eguchi included in a fic... being hated since the start. :grin:
Definitely waiting for more thrills you've offered here in future chapters...
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NISHIIIIIIIIIIIIII YOU WROTE SOMETHINGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG OH MY GOD
*freaks out*
That was amazing! Humor + action in one awesome chapter~
I really like where this is going. Though, since it is military based and there are guns... Makes me wonder if there shall be death!
Also, grenade loving cyborg FTW.
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R I V E R
Chapter 2
(Posted 9/11/11)
Warning: Mild language and violence ahead.
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[REDACTED]
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Obligatory A/N:
Samuel L. Jackson reference FTW.
I should warn you all that I can’t normally update as fast as this. Real life likes to intrude upon my happy cyber world llOTL And ‘cause I’m lazy, but that’s another thing >_>
Once again, thanks goes out to arisa03 for helping me feel better about this whole writing business llOTL Thank you also for a few ‘quality’ adjustments ;D
Also, thank you very much to all the reviewers! Each review greatly motivated me to hurry up and get started on Chapter 2, which I was planning procrastinating on LOL
No, I did not read them multiple times ; v ;
Again, thank you very much ; v ; b
Of course, thanks still goes to the readers that don’t comment (I am that type after all LOL)
Thank you for still donating a bit of your time to my little tale ; v ;
Anon out~
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*is still LOL-ing to death at this chapter*
Crap Acchan, Stupid Sexy Acchan. LOLOLOLOL. xDDD Quality adjustments ; v ; /!!! Man, I don't know what to say comment now, because I already did. LOLOLOL You should really put that "TM" LOLOLOL xDDDDD I can't wait for Chapter 3 now. And some evil plan. 8DDDD >xDDDDDDDDDDD
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Ahhhh I love everything about this chapter~!
I could just ramble on about the things I like about specifically in this chapter but honestly Takamina's mumbling was my favorite lol "Stupid sexy Acchan" indeed.
Oh and also... "And even if Kojiharu would do that, she’ll probably say something like ‘Oh, Yuuchan, I’m sorry, I just really need the shower right now. I- it’s not like I want to see you w- wet and n- naked or anything, you b- baka."
:thumbup
Yeah please continue?
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Man!!! I love this fic!! So hilarious.. :lol:
But i just read halfway though.. LOL.. I'll continue after my exam... XD
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This chapter is full or LOLs~ xD Good job! I really like it~
Someone should kill that Colonel... ^^v
Cmon Yuki~ Ya know you want Mayu on top~ ;D
LOL~ I still can't stop laughing~! Please update soon~!♥
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I love this chapter!! please continueeeeee~ :panic: :panic:
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LOL KOJIHARU ROLL REFERENCE. That's all my mind could focus on. XD
Ahahahaha, Mayu and Yuko are the ultimate perverted tag team. Black Yuki FTW. Pfftt, Nishi, you made me laugh so many times this chapter.
Great job~ Keep up da good work~
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TAKAMINA ;______;///
This is just...it made me happy, sad, and angry (At ze biznitch....) but but but.....MOSTLY HAPPY :heart: :heart: :heart:
I was laughing a lot of parts, especially the Kojiharu parts and Takamina mumbling parts xD This was an amazing chapter~~ I can't wait for your next one :heart:
Update soon! :D
Also.....you liiiiied on the number parts! Not that I minded 8D If it was true, make sure it is mother f***ing Eguchi~ * attempts to hide*
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YUKO Lol!!!!~
“Yuuchan, language!”
“No, no, I’m sure Takamina’s butt is bigger than Miichan’s.”
“No, no, I’m sure that Miichan’s butt is bigger than Takamina’s.”
The Truth is Miichan have bigger Butt!!!!!!!!
:dunno: Miichan's Butt......
:on bleed: I Want to touch it!!!!~ :on gay:
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Yuko really loves to swear huh :rofl:
Some really nice Atsumina momemt XD
Damn that Eguchi bitch! I'll hunt her down and slowly torture her to death
Takamina fight-o! Everyone will follow and support you!!! Ganbarre!!!!
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Ahahahahah Yuko curses a lot and Takamina mumbling
Lol Mayuyu on conter strike mode "fire in the hole"
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so far...all i can say is :bow: this is epic :lol:
guns plus akb48 chicks were totally :twothumbs
and there's massive pairings too XD
PS: i hope someone would write a story base
on Flying Get PV XD XD XD
Though i don't like if Yuuchan is the villain :lol:
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Hahaha Yuko always swearing and saying bad words every chapters :lol: :lol:.. hahaha update soon :bow: :bow:
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This is so good! Please update soon!
I hate that Eguchi >.< hope she accidentally trip and hit her head then die!!!!
Sasshi is so funny over the phone.
Good luck to the 16 members they will kick ass and survive because they have Major Takamina!!!!
GO TEAM!!!!!
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Miho snickered, “Those two should just find a private cave and go finish their little ‘argument’ together in the dark.”
KAMI-SAMA...KAMI-SAMA... :mon bleed2: :mon lovelaff: :mon trannie: :mon crazyinlove:
“No, no, I’m sure Takamina’s butt is bigger than Miichan’s.”
“No, no, I’m sure that Miichan’s butt is bigger than Takamina’s.”
“No way! Just look at her!” Mayu pointed towards the captain busy stomping ahead of them.
“It only looks that big ‘cause her pants are loose!”
“Hm… you kind of have a point… why are hers so much looser than the rest of ours?”
“Maybe…” An evil grin slowly spread over Yuko’s face. “Maybe she needs looser pants to hide her… manliness, ya know what I mean?” She nudged her sister and winked.
Mayu’s eyes slowly widened before she burst into laughter, “Oh yeah! Takamina probably needs looser pants ‘cause those guns are totally loaded.”
OSHIRI SISTERS...TALKING ABOUT OSHIRIS AND TAKAMINA'S THIRD LEG... :ptam-...: :hiakhiakhiak:
UP-DA-TE SOON :wriggly:
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Stupid Sexy Acchan and the Stupid Damn Rain
SSA Log #1 – Entered 9/13/11 by Divine Vengeance
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[REDACTED]
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A/N: Yes, that Beginner costume.
Sorry if that was terribly cliche llOTL
As you can see, this is the first entry in a series of shorts that I will be writing to give some background to our favorite major and ace duo. Entries will span across time randomly, so please look forward to seeing more Takahashi Fails!
Thank you to all the wonderful readers. I strongly appreciate your supportive comments ; v ;
Anon out~
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A very nicely written short :lol:
I can only imagine what runs thru Takamina's mind when her lovely Ace get drenched by rain water wearing "that" set of Beginner uniform.
I hope the bleeding stops or Takamina might start needing some blood transfusion haha :twothumbs
Thank you, Please update soon
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OAMSEKJFHQB ATSUMINA :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
You are so awesome ZuZu, I cannot wait for mooore ;_____;////
Don't keep us waiting <3
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lol Now I want to know why Acchan blushed :U
Oh Takamina, it's okay to have "those" kinds of thoughts~
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lol Now I want to know why Acchan blushed :U
@Kid_Alpha: Takamina IS wearing the same thing and IS under the rain too, you know... 8D
Also, thank you for reading ; v ;
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^Well that's no fun, why'd you have to go and tell me? The mystery of it all was so much more *~interesting~* That was a lie but it's late and I'm trying to be funny. /shrugs
Can't blame Acchan though, wet Takamina in the River PV was hot I mean what?...
cough Please continue writing?
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^ I'm sorry llOTL
And yes, Takamina was quite the eye candy in that PV xDD
I will update in a few days, no worries :3
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lol takamina XD
please update soon :thumbsup
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Lol nice rain ;)
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Oh ho. Those Beginner uniforms... *thinks of Jurina :Q_______________ and Mayuyu :Q__________________________"
That was... really funny LOL Takamina forever fail~
Keep up da comedy and action, Nishi~
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AtsuMina... Beginner uniforms... rain... wet... what the damn hell am I thinking?? :drool: The imagination starts running wild inside! XD Dangerous!!
Any possibilities you'll write backgrounds of other pairings too? Cause I'm also looking forward to it... (hoping)
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Any possibilities you'll write backgrounds of other pairings too? Cause I'm also looking forward to it...
@aruka: No guarantees of anything, but I'll see~ To be honest, I'm not that familiar with quite a few pairings >_> Any couples you're looking for in particular? xD
If I do write something extra, it won't be in the SSA section since that's Takamina-reserved 8D
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@aruka: No guarantees of anything, but I'll see~ To be honest, I'm not that familiar with quite a few pairings >_> Any couples you're looking for in particular? xD
Well, basically all pairings you've mentioned since the story rolled. XD But just write if you feel like it, I won't forcefully push you. :D
If I do write something extra, it won't be in the SSA section since that's Takamina-reserved 8D
Ah, yes. Since SSA = Stupid Sexy Acchan, of course it would be Takamina's. I really understand.. :grin:
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yes, damn sexy Acchan....My imagination is running wild!!! Damn that Beginner costume! Acchan already look sexy with just that and now you add the rain to increase Acchan uber sexy figure! No wonder Takamina got the nosebleed :lol:
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R I V E R
Chapter 3
(Posted 9/15/11)
Warning: Mild language and violence ahead.
A/N: This release was actually going to be delayed for a few more days, but I’m going to post it now as a thanks to the reader who gave me plenty of helpful comments and motivated me to continuing working on this story. You know who you are ; v ;
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[REDACTED]
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A/N:
A bit of background info on the characters: Takamina is 23 in this story. This places Jurina at 17 and Mariko at 28 if that helps you get a general scope of everyone else’s ages xP
Sorry if the ‘action’ was ridiculous x.x I have absolutely no fighting experience aside from COD, and I suck at that, so yeah…
Once more, thanks to my good friend arisa03 for making me feel better about this chapter ; v ;
If you have any questions, inputs, insults, or rants you want to let me know, feel free to toss them at me ; v ; Otherwise, please continue to support these girls in their journey ; v ; b
Anon out~
Updating on Sathday FTW.
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YAY~! This chapter is so cool and hilarious! Haruna shutting Yuko up by kissing her! Nice!
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Aitaktta, aitakatta, aitakatta, yes!!
Woot GO Haruna! show them how you control a wild squrriel!
So will we continue to see the lines
“Yuuchan, language!”? and will it be a slap or a kiss ? HAHA
Please update soon! :twothumbs
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Mariko as a sniper. Damn that's hot. :heart:
I love the action, it's not overly detailed or underwhelming at all, just enough to get a picture of what's going on. :thumbup
SaeYaka yes~! I wasn't sure you were gonna go in that direction but I'm glad cause there isn't enough of this pairing in fics. ;3;
Also TomoTomo~
And yes Haruna take charge, that'll definitely shut up Yuko lol
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Another bad ass chapter!! 8)2 8)2
Hahaha nice move Haruna! definitely the best way to shut her squirrel up! haha :lol: KOJIYUU :heart:
Can't wait for the next chapter! UPDATE SOON! :thumbsup
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You are awesome AGAIN :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: ;___;/
I couldn't help but laugh...at Yuko's last thoughts before she thought she was going to die (SPEAKING OF WHICH, IF SHE DID DIE...asjdnj) butts and whatnot xDDDDD
The battle scene was awesome, don't know why you were worried about that ; )
The last scene was :luvluv2: and I totally :on lol: at Kojiharu's fail!trip~ I just loved this chapter xD It had so much win.
Now then....you must post chapter 4 soon as well :kekeke:
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This is really good you should be more confident! :)
Kojiyuu ♥
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“Hebii Rootashu- HOLY SHIT HEBI! HEBI!” Yuko nearly finished the chorus before she started jumping up and down, kicking aside a stray snake.
this part is really... :rofl:
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Ahahah Kojiharu win
I like your language Yuko
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Damn sh*t THis is Fcking Awesome!!!!!!!!!!
Excuse my language as I'm being influence by Yuko, who's been swearing since the beginning of the story!!!!!!!!
we totally got some action and romance in here!!!!!
You did an awesome job :twothumbs
Please Update ASAP !!!!!!!!
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Nishi... wai you so epic? o A o
...KOJIYUU FTW. And thanks for making me laugh. My day was kind of iffy ; w ; b
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Oh god hilarious.. And the kiss gorgeous!!!
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Stupid Sexy Acchan and Stupid Miichan
SSA Log # 2 – Entered 9/17/11 by arisa03
“What is fucking wrong with that fucking Colonel Asshole using a random real bullet in paintball training!?” Oshima Yuko shouted at nothing inside Akibahara Base’s locker room together with the other girls. “FUUUUCK! IT HUUURTS!” she shouted at the top of her lungs as Kojima Haruna poured antiseptic on the poor little girl’s grazed leg.
“Yuuchan—“
“Language!” everyone else finished for her as they erupted in laughter.
“This is not a fucking laughing matter, you bitche—uuuughh!” Yuko shouted once more as she looked at the female trying to patch her up. “Nyan-nyan! You’re doing that on purpose, aren’t you?”
“Maybe, maybe not,” Kojiharu answered sternly and continued tending to Yuko’s wounds.
“Hey, Captain Midget, you look stunned!” Minegishi Minami slapped the back of her captain, who suddenly snapped out of her daze and threw herself forward. “Whatcha doin’?”
“What? What am I doing? I’m doing something?” she half-heartedly answered as she shook her head left and right. Minegishi Minami looked behind her—to whatever Takamina was looking at—and suddenly grinned widely. “NO!” Takamina raised her hands up to prevent Miichan from staring behind her. “I’m not doing anything!”
“Seriously, Captain,” Miichan said as she hooked an arm around Takamina’s neck. “Always being a man.”
“I’m not a man, you!” Takamina said as she tried to jab an elbow at the other female’s chest, who dodged it swiftly. After Minegishi Minami had given her peace, Takamina sat back on the locker room bench and looked back at whatever she was staring at.
Previously...
In Takahashi Minami’s field of vision was an open locker with an attached body mirror on its door. “Who the crap left that door ope—“ Reflecting on it directly was the interior of the shower room’s changing room, and an elegantly towel-wrapped Maeda Atsuko. “What the fishes am I doing stare—“
Maeda Atsuko turned her left hand forward to open the towel and—“Hey, Captain Midget, you look stunned!” After that whole encounter, when Takamina looked at the mirror again, she had been disappointed to see the female wearing the long white sleeve already.
She sighed. “WHAT THE HELL!? WHY AM I SIGHING!?” She slammed her forehead on the nearest room pillar. “I should be glad instead that I saw nothing! NOTHING!” She slammed her forehead once more. “But that is it exactly! I saw nothing!” Takamina turned to look at the mirror again and saw that the female she was examining was looking at it.
The captain waved.
“What the f- WHY AM I WAVING AT HER?!” To Takamina’s surprise, Maeda Atsuko also waved back. “Now she’ll know I was looking at the mirror!” she suddenly spoke, and everyone’s attention was turned to her.
Atsuko walked into the locker room and closed the locker door, “Geez, when was this left open? It was totally reflecting me in the changing room, you know?”
“I’m sorry, that’s mine! I opened it when we got here, but forgot to close it!” Myao shouted from a corner together with Erepyon and Kitarie.
“Oh,” Maeda Atsuko said and turned to look at her dearly beloved captain.
“Oh,” everyone said together.
“Oh,” Takahashi Minami said as she swallowed.
Atsuko blushed. Minami blushed.
They would never hear the end of this.
"Hey! I didn't see anything!" Takamina defended. She opened her mouth, closed it, and bit her lower lip. ‘Stupid sexy Acchan and stupid Miichan...’ She prepared to cover her ears.
They definitely would not hear the end of this.
End.
A/N: Look who’s writing! It was... a random idea! ANON WAS LOL-ING HERE! 8DDD
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I found myself laughing loudly while reading this... :mon lmao: but poor takamina.. aizz... miichan... :shifty:
nice SSA!!! :on GJ:
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Takamina's hormonal dilemma... Never fails to amaze me. xD
Nice cockblocking, Miichan. =w=b
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Takamina's raging hormones :U
With news of her recent act of perverted-ness, this isn't that hard to imagine lol
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Senseiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii, I love you~
You just hijacked Nishi's fic LOL
:on GJ:
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^ Yes Van. I am an epic hij4x3r ;D
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WOW Awesome that Myao has a full body mirror in her locker just so perfectly position so that it reflects into the changing room... but when you think about it, Myao probably know what she can see from her mirror so I wonder who she watches keke.
Noooo Miichan, you are forever appearing at the wrong time, just a little more and Takamina will be bleeding non-stop! :lol:
Thanks for the SSA Log, please update soon.
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Yuuchan---
LANGUAGE!! XD
Thanks for updating
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Takamina, you saw nothing but I'm sure you wanna to see everything hehehe
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zannen de, Takamina... you didn't get to see more of her skin. :grin: wish you 'luck' in the future.. :thumbup
why do I get this funny feeling that arisa-san will be in charge of the next SSA logs? XD
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LOL
The sexual tension between Takamina and Acchan just keeps on increasing!!!! :grin: :grin: :grin:
Damn Takamina, my imagination is running wild!!!
Just confront Acchan already and tell her you love her!!!
GREAT JOB :twothumbs
update ASAP
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I MANAGED AN UPDATE BEFORE I LEFT :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: *is awesome like that*
This was just....Oh Riri-chan, oh ZuZu ;____;///
Thanks for making my night :heart:
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Stupid Sexy Acchan and That Stupid Haircut
SSA Log #3 – Entered 9/19/11 by Divine Vengeance
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[REDACTED]
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A/N: Here's to stealing my own series back. Kidding, kidding LOL
As you can probably see, the SSA logs are a collaborative work. arisa03 and I will both be writing entries every now and then, so please look forward to more from the both of us!
Anon out~
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LOL
Duo midgets are so fliping hilarious :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Ohh boyTakamina :lol: Stop blaming your stupid sexy Atsuko for every stupid thing that you do! :rofl: I really love Atsumina's moments :heart: :heart: :heart:
Another awesome chapter!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! XD XD XD XD XD XD
update ASAP!!!!
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NISHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII I LOVE YOU FOREVER FOR THIS LOL.
Thanks for making my sleepless night that much better ; w ; b
Can't wait for more madness :on GJ:
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“I’m pretty sure our lesson wasn’t on ‘Takahashi Minami heart Takahashi Atsuko.'”
LOL All these SSA logs are killing me!
I needed this to end my night.
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lol Atsumina couple :heart:
i hope you put some cute kojiyuu moments too in the next chapter :thumbsup
update soon :bow:
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love this chapter.. yeah acchan stop seducing takamina jajajaj...
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Ahahahah poor teacher lol and I llike Acchan's note xD
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Another awesome SSA log chapter!! :twothumbs :twothumbs
I'm looking forward to more from the collaborative work... :bow: :bow:
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Huaaah! I'm shivering here now, haHa!
I Love Acchan's note, haHa! So their Love is mutuaL huh.. Umh~!
haHa! and the Two midgets is so hiLarious, haHa!
Specially! when their wiping the whiteboard, haHa!
I can imagined that their are jumping and shouting to eachother, haHa!
and Yuuchan! Language~! haHa..
Takahashi Minami Love Takahashi Atsuko FOREVER!!!
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Dear Divine Vengeance
:wriggly:
can i just say how much i like both the fic's you got going on!!! :luvluv1: :luvluv2:
Especially the theirs SSA Log!!! HAHAHAH The beginnings of Takaachan!!!
Awww They're so cute!!!
:mon sweat: I would've replied earlier, cause i started reading your Fic from when you first started but didn't bother to comment.
Heeey, it wasn't my fault im too tired :mon exhaust: :mon sweat:
My teacher tend to try to kill me during school and usually when i get back home I'm like ---> :imdead:
Anyway, Please update soon!!!
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YAY I'm on a commenting roll before I pull another disappearing act !!! bwahahhahah
Love your fic, but I think I already mentioned that before, if not then I say it again 'I LOVE IT!!!!'
these SSA Logs are just so funny, I started laughing while I was sitting quietly in the corner earning me a few looks from my coworkers haha.
Please update soon
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R I V E R
Chapter 4
(Posted 9/22/11)
Warning: Mild language and violence ahead.
A/N: I have no idea how military technology and the likes work, so forgive me if anything is terribly inaccurate/fake/impossible/whatnot. Please ignore any inconsistencies or anything that seems ridiculous technology-wise ; v ;
Obligatory Sathday updates ftw.
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[REDACTED]
--<>--
A/N:
Thank you most dearly for your continued support \ ; 3 ; / I hope this brought a few laughs xD
Danke once again to arisa03/satsunyan for her reassurance~
Please continue to follow these girls on their mission ; v ;
Anon out~
Herp a derp.
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“It’s not like Kojiharu needs to talk when she gets some real action, you know what I mean?”
pfft. You're killing me here!
I don't know much of army or military stuff besides what I've learned from war movies and Ghost In the Shell. So judging from that knowledge, you're doing pretty good.
And you keep the action and comedy up to par! :thumbup
Plus yay for SaeYaka moment~
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Awesome!!!
we even got some Saeyaka moments hehe...though Im not a big fan of the twin tower!!!
I love the names that you made up :lol:
Takamina as always being Takamina....always thinking for the others first before her own self.
Don't worry you've got great friends to help you!!!!
VERY AWESOME CHAPTER!!!!!
UPDATE SOON XD
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Forever distracted by Yukirin's FFFFFFFFFFFFF cup beauties. ;D
Mind also forever concentrating on OTP MaYuki LOL
But Nishi... wai you so funny? o A o
Keep up da good work~ XD
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MaYuki~!!!♥
LOL HEY GAY BEES xD I'm dying! good one! xD
Please update soon!
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LOL Yuko xD .
Update soon!
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:OMG: OMG! how could I have missed the latest chapters in this story! :err: seriously, I've been busy that I haven't been commenting here in the forums. :dizzy: anyway, I would like to say that this is one of my fave fanfics here in the forums! :on GJ: gotta love the SSA Logs too! especially #3 lol keep it up Divine_Vengeance (you too arisa-chan :mon hi: )! will wait patiently for your next update!
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...great update as always and Kojipa's lil stunt made me laugh :lol:
it reminded me of the no sleeves short movie....i think :nervous
and mayu's crazy 'fire in the hole' was hilarious :lol:
i wonder why rena's not included here? :?
...or is she a villain here or something? :lol:
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Just wanted to give a quick thanks to everyone who has commented. Your comments are very motivating and encourage me to write more ; v ; It really helps to know that I'm not screwing up somewhere LOL
Thank you again for giving your time to leave a message!
i wonder why rena's not included here? :?
...or is she a villain here or something? :lol:
@dark-atrox: I specifically used only the people that showed up in the original River PV xD I had wanted to put in Rena, but she wasn't in it so... yeah <_<
... But there's always such things as cameos and whatnot 8D
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Lol the ennemies can't remember their name well
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Stupid Sexy Acchan and That Stupid Shower Invitation
SSA Log #4 – Entered 9/25/11 by Divine Vengeance
A/N: For those of you looking for a more... mature version of this, please check into satsunyan/arisa03's "Kurumi to Dialogue."
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[REDACTED]
--<>--
A/N:
So… this post was going to be delayed for a while due to certain reasons, but the kind words of several people (you guys know who you are ;_;) made me decide to post this earlier.
Thank you, all you readers. I really appreciate your support ; v ; Please continue to read other things I release in the coming days ; v ;
Anon out~
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gah!!! :luvluv1: i'm just so in love with every single of your SSA log!!! :wriggly:
its always make my heart doki doki.. :mon inluv: thank you for writing this... :mon cute:
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Shower together hehehe, Takamina don't search for a excuse, Acchan will always win xD
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LOL!!!
I've already read the Kurumi to dialogue long before you update.... and I was wondering why satsunyan write someting without pretty much a beginning....
So it turns out this SSA log was the beginning :grin:
I'm so loving this SSA log fic and of course RIVER too!!!!
VERY AWESOME UPDATE!!!! :twothumbs
Don't worry we understand, why you kinda updated later.....
I, too am busy with school. busy writing my lab report, study for the quiz and the test.....so much to do that it's taking up my computer time :P
anyways just update whenever you can XP
I am so looking forward to the next update
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Nishiiiiiii, I'm here for you if you need anything ; w ; b
And great chapter~ I love the cute and tiny captain who has no control over her sexy girlfriend ;D
Keep up da good work :on GJ:
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Takamina, you can have sexy time with your girlfriend but you can't even shower together...
These SSA logs are the best~!
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I LOVE YOU UPDATES ;______;//// :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
*seems to be abusing the heart button again*
Chap 4: Takamina is pulling off all that worry from anyone. My Oshimen is so nice! ;____; Update soon, you awesome creator you! :heart:
SSA: Stop making people think I'm weird when I start laughing all of a sudden from reading! ;) Always when I'm near people~
I'm so excited for the next update. They make my days even better
*HEART ABUSE! HEART ABUSE*
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i read the M version.. good one :D.
jajajj takamina stop blame the poor atsuko... she doesn`t nothing... jajaja ok im lying she`s a queen teaser..
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WOW, I read satsunyan/arisa03's "Kurumi to Dialogue." when I came across it on tumblr and you complete it into another SSA log!! :twothumbs
I Love your fic and all of your SSA's!!!
Takamina don't bother trying to run away just follow your Ace's orders and head straight to the shower, you know you want it!
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lol so cuteee.
Update soon :)
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Stupid Sexy (Stripping) Acchan and That Stupid Branch
SSA Log #5 - Entered 9/28/11 by arisa03/Satsunyan
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The intercom resounded at the military lounge.
“Second Lieutenant Maeda Atsuko, please proceed into Briefing Room Three immediately.”
“Eh?” Maeda Atsuko looked up from her chair as she stared at the intercom speaker. “Why?” she asked nobody and stood up to walk towards said place.
Arriving in no time, she knocked on the door and went inside. “Second Lieutenant Maeda, reporting.”
“Ah, Maeda,” the low pitched voice of the general, Akimoto Yasushi, greeted her. “I’m glad you came. As expected of the Ace.”
“Thank you very much,” Maeda Atsuko bowed her head and sat across the general. “What is this about, General Akimoto?”
“I need to send you on private mission. You need to recover a black box from the forest we just took control of days ago under Major Eguchi’s command,” he explained as he propped his elbows on the table, his hands together. “You will be assisted by First Lieutenant Oshima. Meet her in the dispatch area.”
“I will be dispatched today?” Atsuko asked. She received a nod in return and stood up from her chair. “Roger.” She saluted and bowed.
-----<>-----
“Acchan, you can turn into that cave for a brief rest. I am seeing some enemies on the radar.” First Lieutenant Oshima said through the intercom connected to Maeda’s ear. “The black box seems to be in there as well.”
“Okay. Let me just set up a trap, just in case.”
-----<>-----
“Second Lieutenant Takahashi,” General Akimoto Yasushi said as he entrusted a paper to the small female. “I leave this mission to you.”
“Private mission: black box retrieval,” Takahashi Minami read the paper and nodded at the General, followed by a salute. “Roger.”
-----<>-----
“Takamina, do you see that hill? The black box is in the cave near it,” the voice of First Lieutenant Shinoda assisted the young female through the intercom. “Can you go over to it and supervise the cave to see if there are anyone inside? The radar says that someone is occupying it.”
“Roger.” Takahashi Minami climbed the hill not too far from the cave and shoved a few thin tree trunks and branches away to peek into said cave.
The hill was almost connected to the cave via a small path of land. One wrong step to the side of the hill would result in completely crashing into thin but tall trees beside the small path and landing in front of the cave.
Completely shoving aside a branch barring her vision of inside the cave, Takahashi Minami’s eyes grew wide. Completely drenched in the water that was inside the cave, Maeda Atsuko unbuckled her bulletproof vest amidst the darkness.
Takahashi Minami slowly stepped forward as she squinted her eyes to make sure she was not imagining things. The female inside was indeed Second Lieutenant Maeda, Second Lieutenant Takahashi’s very best friend, who suddenly lifted her shirt, revealing those luscious abs, slowly raising the shirt higher and higher to reveal those very ample brea—
Another wrong step forward by the small lieutenant resulted in her hand that was shoving the branch to unconsciously let go of it, thwacking her hard on the face, throwing her head backwards, making her slide forward down the hill.
Sliding down the small pathway while being hit by various branches, tree trunks, grass bundled in more twigs, and random cobwebs, Second Lieutenant Takahashi Minami came face to face with the barrel of an assault rifle.
“Uh... Acchan,” she spoke as she slowly stood up from the muddy ground with both her hands up in the air. “H- hi.”
“Minami?” Maeda Atsuko stepped forward, unconsciously jabbing the end of her rifle down at the poor second lieutenant’s crotch. “Oops.”
“Oww...” the female just growled in her throat as she held her hands still in the air. “Can you please put that away?” Thankfully her best friend did so.
“I was trying to point it at your stomach,” Maeda Atsuko, fully clothed with her vest on, spoke as she smiled sweetly. “Guess I missed.”
“That stupid branch...” Takahashi Minami whispered to herself as she cleaned her body of any twig, leaves, or cobwebs that she had amazingly fished on her way there.
“I was checking some wounds I got from the woods because of the twigs, and then the trap I set up suddenly got activated,” Maeda Atsuko explained as she inspected her stomach for a bit. “You?”
“I was by the hill,” Takahashi Minami said as she deadpanned, hearing multiple giggles in the intercom equipped in her ear. “I was told to watch by the cave and—“
“Stupid sexy Acchan started stripping.” Suddenly, Minegishi Minami’s voice echoed from both of the in-mission lieutenants’ intercoms, followed by a giggle.
“MINEGISHI!” Second Lieutenant Takahashi Minami almost shouted with a hiss.
Again, Takahashi Minami would not live down this day without a laugh.
----<>----
The two returned into base and reported to their General. Although wet and drippy, covered with twigs, cobwebs, leaves, more twigs, and more leaves, the two saluted and brought the black box back.
“Well then, the two of you, open it,” General Akimoto said.
The two just looked at each other, back to the general, back to each other, and then to the black box. Takahashi Minami stepped forward and opened it—
With a pop, confetti started flying from the black box they opened, completely covering the two of them with confetti and party sprays.
They both cleared their faces of such distractions and returned their attention to the black box. Before them were congratulatory ribbons with their names on it.
“Congratulations on successfully finishing an individual mission!”
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jaja miichan!!! leave takamidget alone!! jaja ok no.. :D
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LOL... :lol: gonna edit this comment later... :nervous
edit :
Man!!! Takamina just no good with luck!! :rofl:
But I just love all these SSA log.. :twothumbs It never fail to amused me... XD
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Poor captain ahahaha always get hurt or embarassed ^^
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When I woke up 1 am this morning, I first thing I saw is this fic and I was also the first one to leave 'thank you', since I read it through my phone!!! This totally didn't make me want to sleep anymore though that's ok, as long as I get to read something awesome :P
and now that I'm fully awake, I can properly leave you a comment.
Takamina so pervy and such idiot too... she was so close to see acchan naked, then she did something stupid and then get caught. :rofl:
I really love this SSA log!!!!Thanks for the awesome update as always :)
Please also update RIVER :)
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Sensei, you and Nishi are so sadistic, always putting Takamina through so much fail. XD
But hey, if it makes for a good laugh, why not? 8D
Keep up da good work, Sensei~ :on GJ:
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Yay SSA Logs~!
Oh Takamina, you fail so hard. lol
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I really like your fic, the SSA are so hilarious!
Thank you for your hard work =D
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The tree hit Takamina 8D oh how that made me laugh~~~
I love these SSA's :heart: :heart:
Keep up the good work! :heart:
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R I V E R
Chapter 5
(Posted 9/29/11)
Warning: Mild language and violence ahead.
Obligatory Sathday (in other people's time zones) post.
--<>--
[REDACTED]
--<>--
A/N:
So what did you think? ;3
Please forgive me if any technology/military stuff is unrealistic and whatnot llOTL
Thank you once more for continuing to read and give encouraging comments ; v ; Please stay tuned for coming chapters!
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Awesome as always! XD
p/s: If you kill off erepyon I'll troll shoot you. 8)2
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NO ERENA! D:
Ugh things are getting crazy.
Made my night~
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ERENA is going to be OK, Don't worry guys.. :)
But the probLem here is where did the Ace go?
I mean Maeda Atsuko, Where she is? hope she's aLright.. :(
and Fuck that Fucking coLoneL.. Huaah~! :angry:
Ok Edit, haHa.. >> But I LIKE IT! :P
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than you are mean.. but im worst cause i like it!! jajaj
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Awesome! please continue~
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Erepyon!!!!!
OMG Acchan is fool, what can she do alone?
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acchan is lost??! :shocked where is sheeee...?? :panic: :panic: :panic:
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OMG :shocked
That stupid fucking col. eguchi bitch !!! Erepyon and Myao wouldnt be injured and Atsuko wouldn't be lost if it were for her selfish suicide mission!!!!
If something happened to Atsuko I swear I'll hunt down that bitch wherever she is !!!!
I just really hope that the enemies didn't caught her....Please be safe wherever you are Atsuko
Takamina in leader mode!!! Kakkoii!!!
very nice chapter!!!!
update Soon!!!
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Or does Atsuko resume the mission all alone, for the sake of her dearest Major? :?
If this possibility somehow turns out to be true, then she's gone nuts!! :shocked (Such the power of love..)
This definitely needs an update! An immediate one, if possible.
And hang in there EreMyao!! You'll be okay!
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Well... if you really wanna know what is militarily incorrect... I honestly don't think they'd send only 16 people for a mission like this, not without more support and people of higher ranks. But you seem to have addressed the absurdity of the Colonel's orders quite enough already ;D
Keep up da good work, Nishi~ :hehehe:
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Acchan please NO SUICIDE MISSION !!!
Takamina go to find her ! :tntrm:
Please update soon :luvuluvu:
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Either Egubitch dies, or I'll set up a team who killz her :shifty:
Oh ZuZu, I want the next chapter noooow! ;____; I must know what happens to Acchan, ACCHAN! MY OSHI MUST FEEL PAIN RIGHT NOW, PAAAAAAAAAAIN :pleeease:
Update sooooooooooooon
P.S, Yuko is still hilariously funny 8D Falling in the river, cussing...."Egubitch."
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R I V E R
Chapter 6
(Posted 10/2/11)
Warning: Mild language and violence ahead.
A/N: Please ignore any medical discrepancies as well llOTL Also, I apologize if things skewer to the OOC department orz
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[REDACTED]
--<>--
A/N: More sadness. Wewt.
I hope you enjoyed this… not so happy installment ; v ; Thank you for your comments! :D
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Thanks for updating!!
I hope you write about how Yuko failed :~)
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No
Don't kill erepypon!!!
TAKAMINA :cry: :cry: :cry:
Damn that Egubitch!!!!!!!! If something worst happen to Acchan now, I swear I will hunted you down and slowy tortured and mutalate you to died!!!! :angry: :angry: :angry: :angry:
This is really so sad :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry: :cry:
Poor Takamina :cry: :cry: :cry:
VERY AWESOME UPDATE!!!! :twothumbs :twothumbs :twothumbs
I can't wait for the next chatper XD XD XD
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What....WHAT.....WHAT?!
Why.....WHY......WHY?!
ZuZu ;_____;.......update....give me...update.....MY OSHI IS IN MORE PAIN.....
*squeaky voice* You suuuuuuuck......
Good job though....;_____; You may suck....but you are still awesome ;____;
KILL ZE EGUBITCH Red font of truth!
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NISHI WAI IS EVERYONE HURTING? OTL
...mood change FTW THOUGH.
:on GJ:
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Mmmm Erena ;~; and Takamina...
dafdsf I don't know anymore but update update update~!
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noooo!! ;_; ... please update soon!
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Erepyon!!!!! Please don't die!!! T_T
You put MaiMai yay!!!
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:k-sad: No no please Erepyon don't die !!
Why ? This is too sad everyone is hurting !!
Eguchi Bitch It's all your fault !!!!
Takamina :k-sad: My poor captain !! Acchan come back !
Maimai !! So good to see you again
update soon :tama-excite:
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R I V E R
Chapter 7
(Posted 10/6/11)
Warning: Mild language and violence ahead.
A/N: As usual, please disregard any medical/technical/military discrepancies ; v ;
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[REDACTED]
--<>--
A/N: Obligatory Sathday in other people's timezones update!
Anyways, enough of torturing poor Takamina in the previous chapters LOL
Thank you for reading, as always! \ ; 3 ; / Your comments are extremely motivational ; v ; b
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Cause you're lame. ;___; *says who read all the chapters first*. POSTING FOR THE LULZ! *runs away like a baws*
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Even though it's still technically Wednesday here. Yay for Sathday updates~!
This is my favorite chapter so far, cool Takamina is cool~ ;3;
But damn Acchan lol
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Fbjsfjdjkfjgkkgjkdkjkdjhfjjfhdjjfhjfkfhjdkjfhfjksjfhjdjjdhfjfkhfjfkjfjfjjfjjjfjgjjfhjdkhjjfjkfjgjjdkkfjjgkdkkvnvkkdkgnmfmfngnmfmmgngnmfmcmnfnjjfjfhjdjjjgjjfjnfkkvjgjjfjjfjfjjghjjejgjgj!!!!!! ;_____;/////////// MY OSHI IS AWESOME!! Go get your Acchan!! Omg best chapter ever!
WHY YOU LEAVE IT LIKE THAT!? <OAO>!?!? I need next chapter! AKBadass is in action, muuuuuust reeeeeaaaad mooooore ;___;
*tries to calm down*
Thank you for the awesomeness ;)
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not only takamina.. we were worry..
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MaYuki scene is so cute~ :twothumbs :cathappy:
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GO Takamamina Go!!! :cow: :cow: :cow:
Takamina you're the BOSS XD XD XD
YATTA Acchan's still alive!!!! :w00t: :w00t: :w00t:
Go Takaminaa, Go rescue your girl!!!! XD XD XD
AWESOME CHAPTER AS ALWAYS.....Please keep up the awesome work and update soon XD
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takamina go to save acchan like HERO!! :cow:
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OMG OMG! I miss commenting :(
Acchan went off alone :( and Takamina was force to retreat without her because of the safety of everyone else, I hope Erena makes it through her critical state! *PRAYS*
WOW Takamina the way you ripped off those pins and threw it in that PLASTIC face is TOTALLY AWESOME!!! One of these days someone is going to take that ugly face and rip it apart (lurks around in the base with a scalpel in hand :twisted: )
MAJOR Takahashi!! I know Takamina won't leave Acchan out there alone, I have faith that she will be able to find her Ace, her one an only Acchan. With the rest of the team ready to make things difficult for the other side, I'm sure they will come out Victorious!!!! :twothumbs
Awww all those little pairing moments, and Tomochin sacrificing your own safety for Chiyuu :thumbsup your bravery will be reward! I hope....
Rena finally made an appearance, even if its just her voice and all worried about the little Matsui.
I wonder how things will turn out for the team, please update soon.
Thanks for the wonderful story! :twothumbs :twothumbs
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Acchan is awesome!!!!!
I like all the couples interacrtion especially the Tomotomo!!!!
Takamina go save the soldier Ryan ruh I mean Maeda lol
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save Acchan! nice chapter! update soon!
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Acchan you're so great :tama-lotsaluv: I jumped on the Sofa when I saw she was alive :tama-heart:
Go Takamina, save your girl :k-wink:
and please This Egubitch can't just fall into a hole ? Someone gets rid of her :k-mad:
Tomotomo so sweet :k-inlove:
Update soon please !! :luvuluvu:
:k-hello:
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R I V E R
Chapter 8
(Posted 10/8/11)
Warning: Mild language and violence ahead.
A/N: Someday update FTW.
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[REDACTED]
--<>--
A/N: Thank you all for reading \ ; 3 ; / It also really helps me to read your wonderful comments ;__; b Please continue to support this story!
Chapter 8 on the 8th FTW.
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WOOT~ MAYUKI~ Is WMatsui coming? CANT WAITTTT!
Mayu is gonna blow things up~!!!! ♪♫
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Rena's first cameo XD XD XD hooray! :yossi:
Jurina's crazy driving skills amazed me :yep: even Captain Sayaka become apprehensive :lol:
And its expected that there's no dull moment when the perverted squirrel was around her Nyan-Nyan :twothumbs
PS: Actually like the bitchy Eguchi... :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: (hey it ryhmes :lol:)
Her role that is...its perfect for her! :thumbsup
Thanks for the fast update yo! :twothumbs
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OMG OMG OMG :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t: :w00t:
THIS IS GOING TO BE A FCKING SICK RESCUE MISSION :cow: :cow: :cow:
I'm so excited for everything!!! XD XD XD XD XD XD XD
though there's no Atsumina moment in here, the preparation and everything made up for it!!!!
and THANK GOD those higher ups aren't stupid!!!! PLEASE kill that egubitch already!
I SO CAN'T WAIT ANYMORE!!!! XD XD XD XD
I WANT THE NEXT CHAPTER NOW!!!!!
PLEASE UPDATE ASAP!!!!
AWESOME CHAPTER AS ALWAYS :bow:
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WOOO~!!! XD
W Matsui going to be reunited?! :inlove:
PLEASE UPDATE SOON~!! :bow:
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wohoo. awaiting the mission.
and Jurina as the crazy drive, love it. with Rena appearing, WMatsui please!
kinda miss the 'Yuu-chan, language!' that wasn't in the chapter 8. hahahahaha
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F**ck yeah for rescue missions! *fists pumps*
I was actually wondering why Jurina was driving but then I realized how epic driving is when you don't have your drivers license. So much more efficient in many ways BD I'm sure Rena-chan would applaud it!
Speaking of Rena....dkjgnjanbejgakdmglkakgmlamd WMATSUI :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: Must have, MUST HAVE :heart:
ZuZu, badass rescue mission next? :dunno:
You are so awesome, did I ever tell you that? ;____;
Update soon! :heart:
P.S...I would totally fangirl too if I saw AKB like that BD Badass gear and everything :heart:
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Kuumin and Yui~
And Rena's gonna be in the next chapter~! \o/
Ah too many things I love about this chapter, one of them being Jurina driving like a madman cause of GTA lol I can understand though
Is there gonna be some action next update?
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Yui-tan :vv:
And Rena-chan come soon :k-great:
Everyone go together to save Acchan :luvuluvu:
Update soon please :tama-laff: And next time Atsumina !!! :tama-yeeaah:
:tama-bye:
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R I V E R
Chapter 9
(Posted 10/10/11)
Warning: Mild language and violence ahead.
--<>--
[REDACTED]
--<>--
A/N: Thank you for continuing to read! \ ; 3 ; / I hope this rescue isn't disappointing you guys so far orz Nevertheless, thank you for your very helpful and motivating comments :D Your support is very appreciated!
I wonder if the end is near...
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LOL at SAE :cow: :cow: :cow:
YAH MIICHAN !!! GO CRAZY!!! MAKE A LOUD BANG
BEWARE OF TOMORAGE :P
TAKAMINA TO THE RESCUE!!! I was I bit disappoint to Acchan and Takamina's reunion as I was kind of expecting it to be little more dramatic :P
But no worries, It's all GOOD!!! I STILL LOVE MY ATSUMINA MOMENT!!!!
Now I just hope they made it out there alive!!!
Hurry up people!!! Rescue Atsumina and the others!!!
I can't wait for more!!!!
PLEASE UPDATE ASAP XD XD XD
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Aww thank god they save Acchan!
Run you guys!
nice chapter btw. :heart:
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NO. WHY'D YOU STOP? ADFADSFS
Naw I'm just kidding but I needed this to end my very weird night. You write action scenes pretty well I must say.
But dang that is a close call rescue, can't wait for the next update~!
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and.. the kiss?? atsumina kiss??
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Waaa So many things happen !! This is great :tama-lotsaluv:
Atsumina reunion :luvuluvu: but I want a kiss when they come back !!
Please don't make us worry like that anymore Acchan ! :tntrm:
Update Soon !! :luvuluvu:
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Atsumina save!! and Kojiyuu + Mari-sama moment :ding:
update soon :oops:
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Yay!!! It's the war!!! I want more explosion!!
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R I V E R
Chapter 10
(Posted 10/13/11)
Warning: Mild language and violence ahead.
A/N: Obligatory Sathday in other people's timezones update.
--<>--
[REDACTED]
--<>--
A/N: Thank you for continuing to give wonderful comments ; v ; I hope this chapter is up to your expectations orz Thank you as always for your support!
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YUKO, ohhh you really need some NyanNyan discipline :P :grin:
You and your Oshiri sister Mayu-chan :lol:
YAH Mayu-chan, Renachan GO for it!!! Kill those bastards :twisted:
and you too Chiyuu Kill those insects for hurting your tomochin.... and lol she's actually alot more scary than Tomochin :P
and you even added Nachu here......
Takamidget overprovective to Her ace, well its understandable since it's Nachu :P
AHHH They have finally completed their mission and it's time for the egubitch to know her place!!! :angry:
VERY AWESOME CHAPTER :twothumbs :twothumbs :twothumbs
UPDATE ASAP XD XD XD
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Thanks for the update! Mindblowing action as always. I love this story. Have been following it closely since the day you posted the first chapter :thumbsup
River is my all-time favourite PV from AKB48 so you can guess how happy I was when I first saw your story. It's amazing how you seamlessly weave humour into such a serious plot. You've got the characters' behaviour and interactions down pat too. Keep up the great job. I'm looking forward to your next update!
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WOW , too much action! I love it! 8)2 8)2 :w00t: :w00t:
LOL Yuko will always be Yuko :smhid ,LOL yea she need discipline from her Nyan nyan after this miss mission XD
Takamidget being so protective to Acchan :wub:
Tomomi~rage is scarier that Tomochin XD
Please update soon! i love it! :heart: 8)2 8)2
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oh my . you are really the divine. :twothumbs :twothumbs :bow:
the fics is getting more and more interesting . :twothumbs
notice Yuko has a bit of control in her language.. (wondering how Nyan Nyan is going to discipline Yuko :? )
Hope all the injured can recover fast.
That egu better let her suffer. :x :x
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Miichan gave an uneasy chuckle, “That awkward moment when…”
“When Tomo~mi’s Tomo~rage is scarier than Tomochin’s Tomorage,” Kitahara finished.
LOLOLOL OMG thats too funny... xD
Please continue~ Kashiwagi Mayu~!!!!!♥ Jurina admitted Rena is her girlfriend~
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I will just put this in short: "Damn that was intense.. !!! :twothumbs"
... almost no words left to define what I feel after reading this ...
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Okay so if there is ever a third season of MJGK, you should direct it lol No seriously.
Ah such an intense chapter. Driving me crazy.
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jajaja nachu!! is so funny!!
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Ahahahaha!!! Yay!!! Boom boom boom!!!!
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N-Nachu... OH MY GOD *headdesk*
Gekikara and trigger happy Mayu FTW ; w ; b
Keep up da good work, Nishi~~~
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R I V E R
Chapter 11
(Posted 10/15/11)
Warning: Mild language and violence ahead.
A/N: I'm sorry if this chapter disappoints, especially in comparison with the previous one orz
Someday update FTW.
--<>--
[REDACTED]
--<>--
A/N:
Wewt, another chapter gone~ Thank you all for your very entertaining (xD) and reassuring comments ; v ; b I seriously got a weird look from a sibling for having a strange smile on my face as I sat at the computer.
Thanks for dedicating your time to RIVER! \ ; 3 ; /
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A/N: I'm sorry if this chapter disappoints, especially in comparison with the previous one orz
This chapter doesn't disappoint! In fact, it's a nice wrap up of the crazy mission :thumbsup
The appearance of the former AKB48 members is a nice touch O0
Gotta love the Mariko and Miichan moment at the end XD Totally cracked me up with Miichan's "Do not want!"
And of course, Mayu and Yuki's "target practice" is giving me ideas :D
Last but not least, I want to know what happens to Egubitch! :twisted:
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waaaah~ the end of this crazy mission :luvuluvu:
Mariko-sama and miichan so funny !!! "Definitely do not want!” !!!!
Atsumina~ so sweet !! They are make to be together !! :k-wink:
Yuuchan congratulation !!! :luvuluvu:
This Eguchi is so weird !!!
An oder crazy mission for AKB please !!
See you~ :k-hello:
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Nonti!!!!! Hahahahah she just killed me
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Nonti and Meetan combi is here :lol:
Nonti is so awesome!!! \m/
Damn that egubitch, and here I though she'll be demoted back to being a cadet or something :angry:
Yuuchan and Sasshi congrats!!!!! XD XD XD XD
They totally deserve that promotion!!!
AWESOME CHAPTER AS ALWAYS XD XD XD
and I got a feeling this is going to end soon. Makes me so sad whenever something awesome story have to end :(
btw where's the update of SSA log???
anyways please update soon XD XD XD
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This chapter did not disappoint, it's a good wrap up from the previous one.
I can feel the end is near though...
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XD
So Eguchi... has a tiny, tiny heart? Or did I misunderstand something?
Couples, couples, everywhere! I lol'ed at the end. Not a MariMii fan? XD
Great job as always~
:on GJ:
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HA NOW YOUR FAMILY THINKS YOUR WEIRD. REVENGE. Now mine does too :heart: :heart: :heart:
Awesome possum, hoping for a next chapter!!!!
ASKNDCHJBQAWl I need it now! :heart:
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XD
So Eguchi... has a tiny, tiny heart? Or did I misunderstand something?
Couples, couples, everywhere! I lol'ed at the end. Not a MariMii fan? XD
Great job as always~
:on GJ:
I think she.trying to take credit and get in good with the higher ups. I think that is going to backfire this time
Sent from my Vortex using Tapatalk
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Congrats Yuko!! you should celebrate with your Nyan nyan.. alone :D
lol at MariMii at the end.. well they should hook up since everyone is a couple now :D
Update soon. :thumbsup
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good chapter aww kojiyuu excellent.. congrats yuuchan :D
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well, Yuko-seishou deserves the promotion! :twothumbs :twothumbs :twothumbs
and Eguchi, deserves to be maim by General AKi-p :rofl: (i still like her villain role XD)
PS: Im so hook up with your story i dreamed of it last night :lol:
And that Sasshi followed Noro where ever she goes to remind her
of her medal :rofl:
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R I V E R
Epilogue
(Posted 10/17/11)
Warning: Mild language ahead.
A/N: Happy birthday to Oshima Yuko! \ ; 3 ; / I actually have a chapter dedicated to her ready for release, but for the sake of linearity, I shall post this first :P
Also, SCIENCE.
--<>--
[REDACTED]
--<END>--
A/N: And thus is the end of R I V E R.
Please check out the Afterword (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg958990#msg958990) as well.
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R I V E R
Afterword
(Posted 10/17/11)
--<>--
Just as a precautionary note, please read the Epilogue (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=30558.msg958989#msg958989) first, thank you. Anyways...
Thank you for reaching the end of River! I’ll give more personal thanks in just a bit, but for people that like to get to the important stuff and skip other things, I’m going to answer some questions you might have.
I am well aware that there might be several open ends and whatnot. For example, Eguchi’s fate; I shall tell you now that she took the blame because she A) wanted to look somewhat good, and B) actually had a little eensy heart within her. After the events in River, she withdraws from (Read: is booted from) Army48 and goes to be some cheap fashion model in some unimportant company and never bothers our favorite heroines again. Sorry if you wanted to see her shredded alive in a pool of starving piranhas while being forced to sing and listen to Rebecca Black’s Friday~ :P
Despite some other possible unanswered plotlines, River is still counted as COMPLETE.
The completion of River means that yes, the main story is over. However, this does not mean that I’m going to stop writing for this series. After all, I have Yuko’s birthday chapter and a SSA log to release. It’s just that this mission that was based off the original River PV has been completed, and, as a result, this particular story is done. Nevertheless, I shall continue writing side logs and whatnot (and maybe even a few side arcs focusing on various people) in this universe.
If you have any particular questions or just comments, send them along! I know I haven’t exactly been the most responsive of people and that might have possibly… scared some people off or something (orz), but now that River is done, I shall try to be less of an online social recluse ; v ;
Also, for those of you that might not be fans of River and what I have done with it (OTL), or if you are getting tired of seeing this timeline, fret not! I also do have plans for at least two other multi-chaptered stories that I am working on.
Additionally, I’ll still be trying to write oneshots and whatnot for the Irrelevant Stories section. Feel free to give me suggestions or scenarios you want to see since my imagination is kind of… dull. (llOTL) The open-suggestions thingy also applies to SSA logs and whatnot in the River-verse. It would be great if you dropped them in my Tumblr’s Ask (http://whethervain.tumblr.com/ask) (You don’t need a Tumblr to do so, for those of you that don’t have one).
Tl;dr: Divine Vengeance is going to continue bothering you with fanfics, although most likely at a slower rate than how River was released.
The following tally only includes the main River story and does not include SSA logs, extra chapters, A/Ns, the afterword, and other things.
Total words: 37,159
Total pages on Word: 85 with size 11 Cambria font (97 pages with size 12)
--<>--
The following section contains all the thanks I’d like to give out.
Firstly, thanks goes to none other than AKB. This should be pretty obvious, but I’d still like to thank those wonderful girls, their managers, producers, staff, and whoever else is involved. Without them… Okay, I’d rather not think about that LOL
Of course, a big thanks goes out to the PV itself, which inspired this story. I was just watching it one late night (when I should have been asleep), and poof, the idea came alive. I know I didn’t stick to the PV scenes that faithfully, but nevertheless, I am glad it helped give birth to this story.
In short, may AKB keep on being epic!
Also, thanks to Eguchi Aimi for not being real so that I could have someone to be the ‘villain’ without offending anyone by making their oshimen a bitch LOL
… Sorry if you count Eguchi as your oshimen <_<”
--<>--
Secondly, I’d like to thank you guys.
For the record, the order that your name is listed does NOT indicate any particular preference, so whoever happens to be listed last, no, I am not thanking you any less ; v ;
Also, sorry if I derp magnificently and miss someone. If I do, please let me know ;__; Same goes for name typos.
Feel free to just Ctrl+F your username or something LOL
I apologize if the following sounds… redundant, repetitive, or something ;_; I really do genuinely appreciate everyone’s support even though my vocabulary is extremely limited in ways of conveying that.
arisa03/satsunyan: Thank you for helping me throughout the whole story! \ ; 3 ; / Thank you for personally making sure nothing was absolutely ridiculous and for checking that everything actually made sense ; v ; b Thank you for putting up with my writer’s insecurity! I’d go on about how awesome you are, but you should already know ;D
Nyanoha: Thank you for making me laugh with your ASDFGJKL-ing and squeeing LOL It really reassured me ; v ; b Of course, I nearly died laughing as well LOL Thanks for constantly telling me that River isn’t as crappy as I think it is xD
Flean: Thanks for your support~ Here’s to hoping you enjoyed River from back to front ; v ; Thank you for your comments! I hope you’ll continue to read any other releasese ; v ; b
Kid_Alpha: I am extremely grateful for your support from River’s start to finish ;__; Thank you for your comments. They made me feel like I wasn’t completely flying off the rails with this story LOL Thank you! Also, in regards to your Majisuka 3 comment (I am VERY honored for receiving such a compliment ;___;), I do have something Majisuka-related in the works ;D
ShibuyaDokiDoki: Thanks for following River! Your many comments inspired me to keep going ; v ; b Thank you once again, for your support and for your contributions to the fanfiction department in general xD Thank you for reading~
karomuwi: Thank you for reading~ I hope this entertained you at least a little xP Either way, thanks for your comments!
yukofan: Thanks for your comment! I hope this portrayal of Yuko did not disappoint you OTL
blughise: Thank you for your long comments xD They were extremely entertaining and inspired me to put more humor into River, along with other things xD And yes, that SSA log is waiting to be posted… sometime soon ;D Don’t worry, I haven’t forgotten about it or anything xD Once more, thank you very much for your detailed support and reassurance ; v ;
Vanui: Thank you for reading through my crap xD And for your helpful comments on the tone of the chapters ; v ; b That mood shift still makes me laugh LOL Also, thanks for your own updates ;D
izumi: Thank you for your comment~ I hope exams did not slaughter you LOL
haruhi16: Thank you for constantly encouraging me to update! I hope this series did not disappoint you, particularly in the romantic department (which I kind of… fail at LOL). Please support my other works in the future as well!
eSsIe21: Thanks for your comment! Please keep reading~
kahem: Thank you for reading! I sincerely hope that all the action in River satisfied you xD Booms ftw ;D Please continue to support other fanfics! ; v ;
dark-atrox: Thanks for keeping up with River! I hope that the Rena cameo wasn’t too disappointing xD Also, I hope that dream of yours didn’t make the actual fic look bad xD Sorry that Eguchi wasn’t publically maimed and shamed, as you wanted :P Thank you for your support~!
immortal_K: Thanks for your comments! :D They were amusing xD I hope your work isn’t too much, but thanks for putting time into reading River! Please continue to support my fanfics in the future ; v ;
MESS: Thanks for having read River! Your comment was much appreciated~ I hope you enjoy my other works!
aruka: Thanks for keeping up with this story xD I hope the action was entertaining ; v ; Thanks for reading!
Arakawa: Thanks for reading River! In regards to a previous comment about Yuko failed a promotion… well… I already had that written a loooong time ago. Stay tuned to see it 8D Thank you for your support!
d_ruffi: Thank you for your comments~ I hope River was an enjoyable read for you. Thanks again! ; v ;
Haruko: Thanks for reading! I hope there was enough AtsuMina and whatnot to keep you happy xD If not… there’s still other works ;_; Thank you for your support!
blueangel65: Thanks for your comments xD I hope the AtsuMina was good enough ;D Nevertheless, your support is appreciated!
hott3stson3: Your support is much appreciated! I hope school didn’t kill you LOL Nevertheless, thanks again for the comment!
AFLynx: Thank you for your comments and for consistently reading xD Please look forward to other shorts and stories that I’ll release ; v ; I am grateful for your support!
chibi-nyao-chan: Thank you for reading! Your comments helped motivate me to write more ; v ; And yes, I shall try to write other side-missions for Army48, but we shall see xD Please stay tuned for future releases~ Your readership is much appreciated!
kaizoku_gal: Thank you for consistently reading ; v ; And thank you for your troll attempt LOL Also, please keep writing ; v ; /shot Also, just to warn you, I shall find time to troll you back :P
dream_catcher: Thanks for reading! I’m sorry that Eguchi’s end was not as bloody and painful as we’d all like LOL (That’s what the imagination is for, at least ;D) Nevertheless, thanks for your comment!
RenaChii: Thanks for keeping up with River! Judging by your comments, I hope that the romantic aspect of this fic was satisfying enough xD Thank you for your support~
Kiiz: Thanks for reading~ I’m glad that you were at least entertained a bit by River xD Thanks for your support!
silllythings: First off, I’m sorry if I got the number of Ls in your name wrong OTL I tried counting, but my eyes fail and all… so yeah… I’m sorry I couldn’t put in too much WMatsui, but I hope the story didn’t disappoint you elsewhere ;__; Thank you for reading!
seigus: Thank you for keeping up with River. Your detailed comments really assisted me in knowing that the chapters weren’t too lacking xD I apologize if this fic wasn’t quite up to par compared to the PV since you like the original so much xP I hope you can continue to follow my other releases in the future ; v ;
luckymmsg: Thanks for reading! I’m sorry if Eguchi’s end result did not make her suffer enough LOL And I really appreciate that “divine” comment ; v ; Thank you once again!
A1: Thank you for reading to the end of River! And yes, your theory about Eguchi’s taking of the blame to look good was correct in the sense that it didn’t work LOL Again, thank you for reading!
Also, thanks to the following readers for their thanks LOL Thank you for reading even though you did not comment ; v ; (I apologize beforehand if I missed someone ;__;) Thanks, Tejinashi, Lurker, anoni2, saeseki, dee1711, khryz0421, D_sphere, Ryo Hiroshi, Nab, staringatme, turlde, akinyan, alex.S1, and s34l!
And naturally, thanks to any other readers out there. Please continue to support the fanfics I release!
Once again, thank you for putting your time into reading River! Everyone’s support and willingness to read River is sincerely appreciated, and I hope we can continue to be in AKB’s fandom together! :D
… That awkward moment when the afterword is longer than the epilogue OTL
--<>--
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You're Welcome. Anyday is fine for any sort of criticizing moments ;D. ; v ; ///// (five left hands ftw).
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You are very welcome ZuZu :heart:
I'm glad my pain and fangirl-ness amused you so ;____;/ Also, stop over-thinking it BD
Now, for old times sake...sdjnvjasnvdjnakn HURRY UP AND MAKE MORE AWESOME-NESS :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
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thanks for writing an amazing story. looking forward to your future works!
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WHAT!!! O_O! This fic already completed!!! :mon closeup:
Argh!!!!!!!! :mon scare: I haven't finish reading the whole chapters yet!!!!!!!!!! :mon runcry:
I didn't even have the chance to leave a proper comment on your previous posts... waaa!!! :mon whine: Gomen2.. :mon pray2:
but still, I would like to thank you for your full of awesomeness fic!!! :kneelbow: I'm looking forward for more awesome story... :mon thumb:
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@dream_catcher: Good luck on your stories! I look forward to seeing your action :3
@Flean: LOL It's alright, take your time xD Feel free to comment much later if that suits you LOL Thanks for your comment though :3
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Since I'm a action junkie, as long as you've got guns and explosions etc. that make me go ADFADFSA I'm okay lol But you do have something MJGK related up your sleeve... /)_(\ Cannot contain my excitement.
River has always been my favorite song/PV, I could watch it over and over again i'm not joking so you can imagine my excitement when I found that someone wrote a story based on it, I was like 'WHO IS THIS WONDERFUL PERSON?'
Be waiting for that birthday fic yo~! And I hope you continue writing awesome stuff ;3;
Is it weird that while reading your fic I've came up with an idea of how Yuko joined Army48 after a failed unit called Doll's Vox? This is what happens when it's late and I drink a lot of soda...
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You're welcome! ^^ im always more than lad to see that you have updated... lol! and plus, this story is filled with things that I can actually imagine happening. River has been a great story and I love it. I would love to see you write more too!♥
Keep up the good work! I look forward to more of your works~~~~~♥♥♥
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LOL YES CUTE LITTLE BABIES FTW~
It's been quite a wild ride with River. I loved every step of the way through it! Great job with this beast of a story! I'm looking forward to more of your work, Nishi~
“’Thank you for everything,’ and ‘Yes, Major Takahashi,’ what’s next?” the major wailed as she buried her face in her hands, sobbing loudly. The other three girls in the room could do nothing but look on and weep as well as Takahashi Minami cried time away.
What's next? 8DDDDDDD
Forever the most epic accidental mood change in the world XDb
I will continue to support you, my friend! Thank you for your hard work! :on GJ:
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You're welcome! i like your fic, no, i love it! and of course i will still support your next fic! i'll just keep checking! :)
I'm not disappointed you end the story there, it was a happy ending for everybody! :)
Thank you for the awesome and badass fic! i'll wait for your next fic! :thumbsup
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cute ending!! thanx for the story!! atsumina its ok
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Here are my thoughts for the epilogue:
The moment that I've been dreading is finally here! Well, all good things have to come to an end but you did say that you'd be writing side stories and stuff so I'm glad!
The epilogue is an all-around happily-ever-after that our heroines deserved.
The opening had me smirking in front of my laptop with Acchan screaming her head off at her poor husband. "Stupid" is the word that binds this couple together :P
Then came the exchange between Takamina and Yuko.
“That’s… not my daughter, thank you,” Takamina said in a flat voice.
Yuko blinked, “Ah, no wonder… I was wondering why that one wasn’t jaw-droppingly gorgeous. Then again, she could have inherited your defective genes…”
HAHAHA! I can totally imagine this scene! These two midgets are LOL brothers for life!
I'm glad you didn't explicitly pair Miichan and Mariko together. It's not that I have anything against this pairing but it'd seem kind of forced if everyone belonged to a couple.
As my comment will not be complete without a mention of my OTP, I'm gonna say this:
MAYU AND YUKI'S BABY WILL BE THE NEXT MOST ADORABLE THING EVER!!!
Cyborg baby with huge round eyes FTW! (Actually, if I seriously try to imagine it, it's kinda freaky.)
Finally, my reply to your afterword:
I'm glad my comments helped you in one way or another but I feel bad for commenting so late for such an awesome story. I have Lurker's Syndrome but I decided that I needed to let you know how much I love and appreciate R I V E R. It's definitely up to par with the PV and it even exceeded it because there's only so much the PV can show us while you breathed life into the characters and made them not just cool chicks in uniforms but funny, loyal and real comrades-in-arms. I will definitely follow any side stories you post for River. One suggestion, if you don't mind, will be a look at what the girls got up to during their month-long vacation. And - this is just wishful thinking on my part - I'm keen to read how Yuki and Mayu got together. Aside from the fact that they are my OTP, I'm intrigued by their relationship because they tend to project this love-hate, flirting-bickering image.
Wow this comment is getting long :sweatdrop: but I'm pumped up for the multi-chaptered stories you are working on! You have a flair for writing and managing a big cast. You give attention to every character so even if your focus is on a particular girl or pairing, the others won't be just wallflowers. Instead, they spice up the story! This, is what I really like about your writing. Keep up the great work and I look forward to more works from you!
P.S. Gosh, I had to retype everything above because the internet had to disconnect the very moment I clicked 'Preview' :banghead:
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@seigus: Thank you VERY much for your long comment! I really appreciate the effort you put in replying ; v ;
Anyways, in response to the things you said:
I'm very glad the epilogue did not disappoint you xD I was a little worried that it wasn't enough of a wrap up, but I'm glad you found it to be enjoyable. Also, yes, I took the same stance with you on MariMii, disregarding whether I ship it or not xD
And don't feel bad about replying late xD I'm very grateful that people actually reply at all. ;__; I personally have lurker syndrome as well, so I understand how... awkward it can be to respond LOL Nevertheless, thank you again ; v ;
I'm also glad that I didn't fail your expectations in comparison with the PV :bow:
In regards to your suggestions, both ideas are definitely getting the creative juices in my head running LOL I'm actually extremely tempted to start working on one of them (Not telling you which just because I'm a troll like that :P), but I'm actually supposed to be studying right now. OTL. Nevertheless, thank you for your suggestions! I shall try to come up with something that will hopefully entertain you ; v ;
Thank you also for your additional comments on my writing style. I was worried I didn't cover that aspect of the story that well, especially in regards to the large cast, which was quite a problem LOL Thank you for reassuring me in that department ; v ; b
... Tl;dr: You are an awesome reviewer, and thank you for your input and suggestions!
P.S. Thanks for going through the effort of typing that whole thing again :bow:
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Awww! The end is so cute! They have child! <3
Thx for this fic which is really awesome and funny ^^ Be sure I'll read your next fic ;)
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You troll, you! :panic: I hope we are thinking of the same idea XD Anyway, no matter what you come up with, I'm sure I'll be entertained.
Have more confidence in yourself! The comments from your readers are proof that you are on the right track with your writing. Of course it's good to be worrying every now and then as it prevents complacency but heck, you deserve to be proud of yourself!
Thanks for saying I'm an awesome reviewer :bow: I wish I could comment more on the stories in this forum (or even write my own fic) but similar to you, I'm tied down by studies and work. I should be doing an assignment right now but I can't help constantly checking the fanfic board for updates.
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I knew you wouldn't dissapoint (y)
Thanks for writing river, and lookin forward to whatever else you may write :)
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heHe! :lol: You're weLcome and THANK YOU VERY MUCH TOO.. :D
I'm very gLad that the story went well, and I'm very glad for you too.. :D
Sorry :( if I don't comment that much to you're story, but even if I'm not,
I've aLways leave a Thank You :twothumbs as a mark that I like the story, heHe! :)
and aLso I'm not good in engLish.. :P and aLso for the AtsuMina, THANK
YOU VERY MUCH :bow:, It was more than Good, heHe! and for the Last part, I LOL!
at AtsuMina and TakaYuu conversation, haHa! :lol: weLL! I still have so many things
to say but I don't know how to say it.. :P But one thing I want to say is,
YOU ARE AWESOME! :twothumbs I will still continue to support you after this, GoodLuck! and THANK YOU! :)
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Thank you for this story. I very enjoy about it :)
even sometime... I'm busy and not comment...
but sure~ I will come to read your fic and give "Thank you" for you anyway :lol:
I will still support you after this :D
:cow: :cow: :cow:
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now i feel terrible! :cry: i don't like when things end..i'm just that weird! XD
why this had to end?? :(
great fic I LOVE IT! (mostly miichan) :rofl:
thank you very much for post it! :inlove: :wub:
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R I V E R
Extra I – [KojiYuu]
(Posted 10/20/11)
Warning: Mild language and violence ahead.
A/N: This takes place roughly half a year before the events in the main storyline of RIVER.
This is dedicated to Oshima Yuko, since this was the original chapter that was going to be released on her birthday xD
--<>--
[REDACTED]
--<>--
A/N:
This piece is also dedicated to arisa03/satsunyan for being such a good friend and putting up with my constant questions and whatnot ; v ; b I hope you enjoy this extra dedicated to your OTP ; v ;
Of course, thank you to everyone else who gave wonderful comments, as always <3
Obligatory Sathday update.
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ADFADS I WILL READ THIS LATER WHEN MY BIO CLASS IS OVER. >:|
EDIT: Ah that was sweet but lol at Yuko going overboard then again not surprising.
Ah I love Sathday updates~
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AWESOME!!!
Sorry forgot to comment on your other update......
I love the epilogue so much!!!
ATSUMINA always makes my day no matter how tiring it is!!!
I so love it!!!
and now KOJIYUU!!!
LOl AT Yuko, she can't win against NyanNyan on that psp game
But she kick more ass in real action!!!
and YAHHOOO FOR SATHDAY!!!!
I wish it's everyday SATHDAY :P
So you and arisa update you awesome fics XD XD XD XD
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Thank you for this! Yuko is my OTP too <333
You made my day. Thank you. <333
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aww kojiyuu forever!! :D thanx a lot
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Kojiyuu is so cute!!!!
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You know, you are making me look forward to Sathdays!
That warning about violence and language at the top of every update is all thanks to Yuko's foul mouth :nervous
I really admire Yuko and Haruna's relationship. You can feel the love despite all the "domestic violence" Haruna dishes out. Eight years at the same rank is no joke!
Having Miichan as a friend is quite unsettling as you'd never know when she's going to barge through the door. Worse is she seems to enjoy what she sees!
It's hilarious how everyone refers to Meetan as old (I can never forget that AKBINGO ep where Sayaka called Meetan an old woman :lol:). Pervert Meetan needs to have her revenge one day!
I also love the fact that you included Privates Sasshi and Fresh Lemon! Poor girls. Their misery is our joy :P
And... and... you are such a tease with the brief hints of MaYuki! Those two being late together?! And that little scene of Yuki bumping Mayu into the wall? Nothing really happened but I felt Yukirin's protectiveness over Mayuyu and that's enough to make my heart do a little somersault :pepper:
Thanks for the update!
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^ We know they like it anyway. xD
<333333333333333. Forever posting Sathday updates on someone else's timezone. LOL.. And yes, I will forever answer all of your questions like the boss I am. <3
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That... was ridiculously cute and funny XD
Sasshi is quickly making her way up as one of my fav members here. Always gettin' bullied XDDDD
More shenanigans ahead?
Keep up da good work, Nish~ :on GJ:
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awwwwww...kojiyuu is so damn cute :heart:
and fresh lemon :heart:
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hahaha "Yuuchan, language." again :lol:
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Sathday's update :k-inlove:
With you and arisa-chan I'm so happy to be Thursday :k-wink:
Yuuchan's love for Nyannyan <3
Your fanfic are so cool ! please more :luvuluvu:
(next time atsumina please :vv:)
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Hi! Ok I know I said I'd be posting a review on your next chapter, but the overall guilt got to me (and I'm far too lazy to start my Bio lab report), so I figured I'd post one right now XD
Where do I even begin? This fic has absolutely impressed me to the point that despite the fact that I have finished reading it, I find myself going back to it when I have absolutely nothing to read or do (which is something I don't do very often with fanfiction). I can truthfully admit that this fic has both made me laugh to the point that my usual "calm, poker face" I attempt to maintain in public is broken (hence the several weird looks courtesy of my friends) but at the same time, given me moments wherein I'm (insanely) wailing at the computer going "Y U END IT THERE?" (ie I had honestly thought you were gonna kill off Erepyon :k-sad: ).
Your characterization and portrayal of the several members of Army48 was definitely well done, from the epic leader that Takamina is to the poor bullied soul that is Sashihara. I've enjoyed being able to see each of these characters in action (well, except Trollguchi, but then again she did add to the amusement XD). In regards to plotline, it was nicely paced. Not too prolonged, that it verges on unrealistic, but not too short either that it felt rushed. So really good job on that :twothumbs
Once again, I apologise for the lack of reviews... Both my laziness and lurker..ness (lol) are to be blamed :kneelbow: I hope that this review makes up a little lol (despite it being so general and vague (?) lmao )
It has been a extremely enjoyable ride and I would most certainly look forward to your future installments! Good luck with the writing!
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Stupid Sexy Acchan and This Stupid Air Duct
SSA Log #6 – Entered 10/22/11 by Divine Vengeance
Warning: Potential language and violence ahead.
A/N: Someday update~
Also, sorry if the climbing system here is completely wrong LOL /forever failing
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[REDACTED]
--<>--
A/N: Also... Just to warn you, I will no longer be updating as frequently as I have been recently.
I'm sorry if that disappoints, but the fact is that my imagination has greatly disappeared recently LOL To add to that, I've also got things to do in that horrible sector of reality called an 'offline life' llOTL
However, Sathday updates shall still hopefully be weekly, and on good weeks, I may still provide the occasional Someday update. Once again, sorry OTL
On a happier note, thank you for your continued readership! All reviews/comments/likes/thanks and all other indicators of your support are as appreciated as always ; v ; b Please continue to read on~
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nice update!! :cow:
Stupid Sexy Acchan!! XD
lol at OSHIRI SISTERS XD
Thank you divine for the update! :heart:
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LOL :lol:
I love this SSA!!!!
Sae...way to go :lol:
Oshiri Sister still creating troubles :P
AWESOME UPDATE!!!!
UPDATE Whenever you can
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Yay for sexual tension!
Sae ain't Genking for nothing ;)
And Oshiri Sisters forever awesome! *imagines them falling down the chute while laughing their asses off* :lol:
Haruna and Yukirin should use their assets to smother their laughter.
Good luck to your offline life. I understand how sucky it can be.
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I think... I just died laughing LOL
Stupid sexy Acchan indeed... and Yuki and Haruna getting stuck by their assets LOL Oshiri sisters FTW XDDDDD
...please excuse me while I continue chuckling by myself over here.
Keep up da good work, Nish-san~ (see what I did thar? 8D)
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Pffft...I...can't..stop laughing! xDDD
My oshi, even in a "tight" situation, you still manage to be awesome :heart: I'm sure Acchan, didn't mind the situation much BD
The entire ventilation chute shook violently as several bodies hit the bottom of the metal shaft.
ALKSDNJNAJN^ I especially laughed hard at that LOLOLOL
Even the end was beyond epic xD MaYuki and KojiYuu made a deadly collision 8D
Thanks for the update :heart: :heart: :heart: Even though you may not be updating like usual, I shall still wait oh-so-not-pateintly :heart:
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I'm happy with the fact that you keep this thread steaming after you completed RIVER. :D
As long as you update, frequency doesn't matter, since we all know the main part of this thread is already wrapped.
aruka: Thanks for keeping up with this story xD I hope the action was entertaining ; v ; Thanks for reading!
You're welcome, but actually I should be the one thanking you since you took your time writing RIVER. No, the action didn't disappoint me at all. :D In fact, sometimes I wondered if you did a bit of research before writing each chapter because there were several details which I was sure some people would ever hardly think of.
Your and arisa03's Sathday and Someday updates are still awaited. Send my regards to arisa03 too. :D :peace:
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come on takamina dont blame your wifey.. we know acchan is hot :D
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Hooray for SSA logs~!
What am I supposed to say? This is hilarious especially Sae fudging up the mission lol
lol at Yuko and Mayu at the end pfft
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...yay! i want to read the Oshiri sisters version vent mission! :lol: :lol: :lol:
when i imagine Yuko and Mayu fell down the chute while laughing
it also made me laugh :lol:
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WahhhhH! All the updates that I missed while I sinked into the sea of books.....
THanks for the story Divine Kira!!!, I :heart: :heart: it.
Being able to read so many updates all at once is so satisfying, unfortunately all good comes to an end
Finally Yuko gets promoted and Sasshi LOL better follow Noro for your badge or you might never get it HAHA
Oops forgot to mention the sudden Nachu appearance ROFL ATSU-neeeee HAHAHAHA
hmmmm that chopper this scary with trigger happy Mayu, Geki Rena and Tomochiyuu-rage..... never get on their bad side or it will be worst then skinned alive........ O.o
Wow everyone pairing off at the end but Mari-Mii is as LOL as always :twothumbs :twothumbs
Your side stories and SSA logs are :heart: :inlove: :wub:
Poor Takamina but thats what happens when you decided to make new a new life and accompany your wife into labour, be happy she didn't break your wrist keke, but at least you get a cute little Atsumina, and I can bet Mayuki's will be just as cute. Although how it all can happen is still a mystery that I don't really care since its a mix of beautiful genes :twothumbs
Ahhh, so thats how Yuko failed her exam and didn't get a promotion, because she was too concerned about Nyan Nyan and for Harunyan to be willing to decline promotion just to stay the same as her squirrel :wub: but what I like best in that one was Miichan haha, making it obvious outside their door and expect to catch kojiyuu doing something inappropriate XD Haha Sasshi quality it is, always fails.
SSA + vents
OMG Sae so failed but I still :heart: you for all the position you put Atsumina through HAHA, so lucky it was only training. I agree with the dark general I would like to read the Oshiri sister version of the vent mission. Yuki and Haruna stuck in the vent while the Oshiri sisters fell down laughing haha.
I really enjoy reading your stories, please continue to write us more of your lovely stories.
Thank you for creating River *bows down*, sorry for the MiA in the last few updates, life got in my way and almost ran me over LOL
~Immortal Kira
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...yay! i want to read the Oshiri sisters version vent mission! :lol: :lol: :lol:
when i imagine Yuko and Mayu fell down the chute while laughing
it also made me laugh :lol:
I second this! I'm sure this version will be filled with sexual tension as well though mainly of the pervy kind. Mental image of the Oshiri Sisters groping butts and boobs all the way down is too awesome!
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R I V E R
Extra II – A
(Posted 10/27/11)
Warning: Mild language and violence ahead.
A/N: This takes place several years before the events in R I V E R.
Also, a thanks goes out to seigus, who suggested this piece~ I hope you enjoy this portrayal of your OTP orz
As usual, please ignore how unrealistic the military and technology are @_@
Forever plugging AtsuMina and KojiYuu like a boss.
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[REDACTED]
--<>--
A/N: Sathday update~
Thanks to everyone who gave reviews! Those are always very helpful in more ways than one ; v ; b And they give me new ideas while I should be focusing on other stories... but that's more than fine ;D
As always, thank you for reading! \ ; 3 ; /
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Grabbing a doorknob ftw. 8D
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OTP FTW.
Mandatory boob grabbin' ;D
But man, I felt like that was worse than Yuko harassment XD
You should do WMatsui next, with an epilogue for dem 8D
Keep up da good work, Nish~ :on GJ:
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YAY for Sathday updates! I knew checking here was a good idea :lol:
Somehow I had a feeling I should take a look and sure enough right at the top is a new update!!!!!!
WOW way to go Mayuyu, right on the first meet with your superior,
you get a feel what it's like to work with your favourite Yukirin HAHA Must be a handful :lol: XD :twothumbs
Go CG!!! got to make sure you secure what is yours! maybe her cyborg mind calculated unconsciously where
her hand should go in case of surprise take-offs if the pilot next to her has nice assets. :twisted:
I'm surprised Yuko haven't suffered a concussion yet, her skull must be very hard and the insulation must be awesome!
And you added a bit of Atsumina interaction too :thumbsup
Thank you!!!! Please continue to update.
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OMG I had a feeling that this was coming and I was right! Thank you so much for writing this! *cries a R I V E R*
I very much enjoyed your portrayal of MaYuki here :bow:
I must say I had a hard time trying not to laugh out loud in class while reading. My classmate was giving me the funny look when the table kept trembling from me trying to control my laughter :nervous I finally let out an audible squeak when I read that my NMB oshi was on medical leave from drinking gallons of bad milk. Why are all Watanabe girls so cute? XD
WAY TO GO, MAYUYU! Best first meeting line ever! “Nice… F… cups…?” XDD
Yukirin only has herself to blame for being so eager to meet her new partner. She was obviously checking out Mayuyu's butt right there and was disappointed in not being able to see the cyborg's face in the trench.
And Mayuyu admired Yukirin all along? That little cyborg must have many images of Yukirin captured during mini stalking sessions stored in her memory.
Man, their sexual tension is so high that even Haruna agreed with Yuko that they were going to fuck each other one day!
I would love to read about how Mayu and Yuki came to care for each other as more than friends after this disastrous first meeting. They started off on the wrong hand... I mean, foot and it's gnawing at me how they righted this wrong. Of course, this is just a suggestion. I will always be throwing out ideas for MaYuki but please don't feel pressured to write them!
Interesting to know that Sae was a trainee together with Mayuyu while Yukirin was not yet a captain. That's the fun part about reading events that happened before the main story. An idea suddenly popped into my head. Perhaps you can write about how Sae almost got Sayaka killed during a mission by being too loud and how she subsequently redeemed herself by getting them out of the dangerous situation she created. That could be the mission that led to her eventual promotion.
Before I end off this comment, I have to say great job on the AtsuMina and KojiYuu moments as always! Acchan was clearly enjoying completing Captain Midget's sentences. And as immortal_K put it, Yuko has a damn hard skull but I suspect her growth has been stunted by the constant head whacking. Haruna wants to keep her squirrel tiny!
Thank you again for this Sathday update! Looking forward to more installments!
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Ah I love it when main stories have epilogues and prologues. Kind of makes me sad RIVER is over but at least you're giving us this, right? :heart:
But man I don't know whether that was a bad greeting for Mayu or pretty lucky lol Then again I would not want to be on the bad side of Yuki.
Please tell me there will be more side stories?
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Hahahahahah Takacchan and Mayuyu grobbing Yukirin!!!!
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Yeah! MaYuki~!! :yossi:
Mayu's first comment . . . LOVE it~ :rofl:
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Love MaYuki!
Hope there will be more on them!
Thanks for continuing this series through extra tidbits!!
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LOL this is funny. Oshiri sisters are really the best pervy partners! LOL at Mayu grabbing boobs 8D
I love this, thanks. <33
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YAY!!!! :cow: :cow: :cow:
RIVER UPDATE!!!
I felt like I haven't read anything in here for so long!!!
I totally missed this!!! XD XD XD
Mayuyu you really's Yuko's Oshiri sister!!! :rofl:
Yuko and her language :roll:... I swear she've got some really strong and thick head to be able to endure NyanNyan smacking :lol:
It's also nice that you've added some Atsumina flirting in here!!! :grin: I always love their moments.
I wonder is there apart two of this???
IF So please update soon XD XD XD
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Boob grabbing-WIN BD
Nya~~~ You must make a second part to that, like...a part where what Yuko and KojiHaru said came true BD (WHICH WAS EPIC BTW)
*is trollin' today~*
Anyways, I love your updates, and like I told you before I started...I indeed loved it :heart: :heart: :heart:
And yes, I switched the word, "liked" and "loved :heart: :heart: Das how awesome it was ;)
Update soon~ :heart:
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HI THERE BUNCH OF
VICTIMSFANGIRLS. YOUR SECOND BOSS HAS ARRIVED.
Stupid Sexy Acchan and That Stupid Pole
SSA Log #7 – Entered 11/20/11 by arisa03/Satsunyan
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“Say, Acchan, KojiHaru, have you heard of the recent ‘Love Test’ going around?” Minegishi Minami asked her two higher ranked friends.
“Hm? What is it about?” Kojiharu, who seemed to be curious, asked about it.
“Apparently, if someone you know or have a crush on confesses to you, to know that they’re sincere, you should tell them something like ‘You must know my best friend. She’s prettier and better, blahblahblah, and she’s right behind you.’ If the other person turns around…” Minegishi Minami turned her back at the two and turned her head to look at them. “… It means they’re not being serious.”
“Oh, I have heard of this once,” Maeda Atsuko said and cupped her chin using her left hand. “I should try this too.”
“To whom? To Takamina~?” Miichan asked and nudged her friend. “Hoho~”
“Shush you, Miichan!” Atsuko nudged her friend back as she brought up both her palms to her face to cover her blushing cheeks.
Behind them, Takahashi Minami walked by and looked at them for a moment.
“And what!? I heard you haven’t decided on which base to join after graduation!” Miichan shouted at the top of her lungs. “What is this blasphemy, Acchan!?”
Takamina’s ears perked up at the information and actually contemplated whether to ask about it or not, but she remembered that she was in a hurry and left the location right away. She decided to just… fix it later.
“Shush, Miichan! People will misunderstand you!” Atsuko pushed the Gachapin-look-alike away. “I already decided to go to where Takamina is going. I just don’t know who to room with yet!”
Meanwhile, KojiHaru had noticed that Takamina might’ve caught wind of the wrong information but just decided to sigh away. “They’ll fix that anyway.”
--<>--
“Uh…” Takahashi Minami started while fiddling with the skirt of her Academy uniform. She stood in an empty street with just the love of her life, Acchan, in front of her and the afternoon sun plus the chirping of the birds guiding them. “Uh… I heard that you haven’t decided on which base to go to after graduation…”
Maeda Atsuko looked at her partner in confusion, tilting her head to one side. “Minami?” she asked and walked forward to the small female. “Minam—“
“Move in with me!” Takamina blurted out.
Atsuko stopped dead in her tracks with a shocked expression. Her mouth fell open as her face changed color from normal to pale… then to red. She took a step back and placed her arms to her side. “Why me?” She looked at the ground.
“Because I know you well and… being in the same base will make me worry less andwecanspendmoretimetogetherand–!” Takahashi Minami answered with full confidence. “You don’t have to answer me now or—“
“You should see my best friend,” Acchan smiled bitterly as she looked to her side and huffed some air. “She's closer to you anyway and she seems like she needs your care more than I do. She’s standing right behind you.”
“So?” Minami answered, still with confidence all over her features. “I don't want to turn around because I have you right in front of me, and I know you're more important. I want to move into this base with you, Atsuko. I don't care if Tomochin is going to the same base or not, or if she’s behind me or not.”
“Why won’t you turn around!?” Maeda Atsuko stomped on the ground, bit her lower lip, and pouted before sprinting, away leaving her short-legged companion in the dust.
Takahashi Minami, making the best decision she could come up in the present situation, chased after the girl. “When did she become so fast at running?”
A gust of wind passed by as Atsuko and Minami turned around a corner. Takahashi, noticing that the apple of her eye’s skirt had lifted up into dangerous levels—thanks to the wind—skidded into a corner and facepoled hard onto an electrical pole.
Maeda Atsuko, noticing the scene through her peripheral vision, stopped running and jogged to her midget. “Minami!”
Takahashi Minami lay down on the ground with both hands on her face, wincing in pain. “Oowww…” She removed her hands from her face to sit up and look at Acchan, who was bending over her, giving the midget a clear full view of what was inside the girl’s uniform through her low V-neck collar. Takamina could feel the blood rushing to her face as she fainted to the ground. “Stupid sexy Acchan and that stupid pole…”
Then the rest was dark.
Meanwhile…
“You should see my best friend,” Kojima Haruna started as she looked at the squirrel who had just confessed her undying love for the nth time in the past hour. “She’s prettier, sexier, and has bigger breasts than I do. And she’s standing behind you.”
Oshima Yuko, as if automatic, turned her head, “Where!?” Noticing that no one was standing there, she started chasing after her cat, who had started to walk away. “Fuck! Nyan-nyan! That was a joke! Nyan-nyan! You’re the only one I love!”
“If you truly loved me you wouldn’t look at someone else!” KojiHaru shouted from afar and started stomping away once more.
“Nyan-nyan!” Oshima Yuko ran after her with all her might. “That turning around was a mistake! It was a habit! A habit! Nyan-nyan! I love youuu~”
“I hate you! Go away!”
Previously…
Itano Tomomi stood baffled behind Takahashi Minami, who had just sprinted after Acchan in mach speed. She furrowed her eyebrows and tilted her head to one side.
“… Acchan told me to go home with her and Takamina today. What just happened?”
End.
A/N: Trolling like a boss~~
ME GUSTA. MUCHO.
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another awesome SSA log... weee~~ :gmon twirl: This really made my day~~ :mon fyeah:
Thanks boss!!! :mon thumb:
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Yeah SSA~ I laught so hard at this !!! Takamina with the pole too funny !!
Takamina wants sexy Acchan with her :k-wink:
and LOL poor Tomo, she's alone XD
I want another from you or Divine :luvuluvu: Pleeease !!
See You~ :k-hello:
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Oh Yuko, what are we gonna do with you?
lol the ending though, priceless~
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WAAHH UPDATE YAY :cow: :cow: :cow:
I can't believe it!!! I missed this!!!!
LOL Takamina, just when I thought you finally looked cool....and you just ruined it in the end :smhid :lol:
Acchan can be such a tsundere :lol:
Lol At Yuko XD XD XD....she'll forever be a pervert....poor kojiharu :P
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Why you troll so hard, sensei?
XD
That was so hilarious... and I immediately knew that Yuko was going to fall for it LOL
After all, we perverts act much the same sometimes ;D
...and I also have hit a pole before. Goddamn that thing hurts. I'M SUCH A FAIL LIKE TAKAMINA, AREN'T I? OTL
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Oh yeah troll like a boss~ :thumbsup
Awww Takamina is so loyal to her Sexy Acchan XD she really cared and love her so much Aww :heart:
while Yuko in the other hand tsk tsk :smhid Nyan nyan , there's nothing you can do when your beloved squirrel is a pervert, that cute squirrel will be forever a pervert :smhid Hahaha XD well, i hope she'll make it up to her Nyan nyan next time around..
Thank you for this, you made my day again you troll ~ Please troll us again- I mean update soon~ XD :thumbsup
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You are such a troll! LOLOL Migawd
First you made my oshi hit a poll (LOLOLOL), then you made Yuko turn around, and then you made it so Tomomi was actually behind her~~
EPIC :mon lmao:
When I saw the title, just saying, I thought of it differently and I was like .o. *reads* *reads* *reads* and then, BAM. :mon spit: Rofl made my day xDD
Anyways, update when you can~~ :mon mischief:
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It made me grin, I don't know why but it just made me grin lol
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great job.. jaja takamina you are a perv..
jajaj yuko you are.. jaja we know it.. but love kojiyuu couple
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Bwahaahaha!
That was hilarious! :rofl:
"Stupid sexy Accchan" is always making me laugh...
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Haha.. :lol: The stupid sexy Acchan XD
:wub: Really like this :inlove:
Thanks for the Update :thumbsup
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LOL just got back home and reconnected to my world (internet) was lost without it for a week :(
I had a very very good laugh while reading this SSA! I can imagine Takamina running after Acchan
when the camera just goes into slow motion while the wind blows Acchan's skirt up just a little so
that Takamina is too focus to see the pole slowing coming in in front keke
And Yuko forever the perv to fall for the friend with bigger assets that she have to turn around to
check for HAHAHA Must be Miichan that came up with all of this to begin with.
At least Acchan wasn't telling a lie and Tomochin was technically standing behind them but they just
forgot why she was there and decided to go for their own little Atsumina jog. Since getting Acchan to
move in is definitely more important for Takamina :lol:
I just can't get enough of your SSA's, THANK YOU!!!!! :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow:
:twothumbs :twothumbs :twothumbs
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R I V E R
Extra III – [KojiYuu/MaYuki]
(Posted 12/1/11)
Warning: Mild language and violence ahead.
A/N: This update is earlier than I said it would be ‘cause I will be busy in the coming days >_> No, I did not mistake the date = 3=
Anyways, this takes place during SSA Log #6 (This Stupid Air Duct). I’m pretty sure you can guess what this is about by now ;D
Also, no, I have not forgotten about Extra II. I shall continue that when I can OTL
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[REDACTED]
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A/N: For the record, the banging sounds were created by Sae waaaaaay over in another air duct. Yes, she’s that loud.
Thank you guys as always for your constant support. Your comments are much appreciated m(_ _)m I hope you enjoyed this ; v ; b
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OMG this is so hilarious! :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Haruna and Yuki are stuck because of their big boobies :lol: and at the Oshiri sisters non-stop laughs at the girls :rofl: :rofl: I can totally imagine it! It's so funny as hell! :rofl: :rofl:
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Oh so that's how they got stuck. Yeah, I would pay to see that.
Sae is that loud huh? No wonder Sayaka is always on her case. lol
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jajaja for they bigboobs :D
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Bwahahahaha!
When I read "the stupid sexy Acchan" log I couldn't help but wondering how
Yuki& Haruna got stuck....but it's because of their boobies?! OMG LoL :rofl:
Thank you for your update :bow:
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YES!
Divine Kira,
You did end up writing about the other team after that SSA log and it is AWESOME! ROFL
I still remember laughing so much after reading that Yuki and Haruna getting stuck in the vents and trying
to picture it.
Standard protocol for switching positions :twothumbs face up and slide under keke.
and Yuko always crack me up, for once she got the situation perfectly correct even the measurements.
I think Sae really need to learn to keep it down, full win for team K's trio.
Thanks for the update and make sure you get lots of rest don't want you do overwork yourself and getting
sick with you upcoming busy schedules.
~immortal kira
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Hahahah I'm imagining the scene and hahaha I'm grinning wide and almost laughing hahaha I'm trying to control myself because I'm on the metro hahaha!!!
And seriously that quote '80 centimeters plus 75 centimeters for the win!' Was the final, it killed me hahahah
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Your story just made me feel better ; w ; b
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Thanks for writing this to complete the air duct incident! Trust the Oshiri Sisters to laugh madly in this situation and not get jealous of their partners engaging in skinship with someone aside from them :shakeit:
But erm... so how did Yukirin and Haruna free themselves? XDD
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Thanks to everyone who has read and commented! I'm glad you guys enjoyed this xD
@seigus: THEY DIDN'T The mechanic crew in charge of that stealth course had to take apart the vent to free them >xD And to get the Oshiri Sisters out of the bottom of the vent too LOL
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@seigus: THEY DIDN'T The mechanic crew in charge of that stealth course had to take apart the vent to free them >xD And to get the Oshiri Sisters out of the bottom of the vent too LOL
HAHAHAHAHA! That image just killed me! I expect the mechanic crew to be laughing their heads off when they see the ridiculous scene XDD
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LIKE LIKE LIKE *Pushes thank you button to the point of dying*
8D
Stay gold homie, stay freeeesh.
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:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
I laughed my lungs out and cried my all tears literally. That FTWOMFGFUNNY moment between Yuki and Haruna was :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: and of course, Yuko sama's comments were EPIC. :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
And I restrained from commenting, but now I want to say something.
I. A.DO.RE. YO.UR. FA.N.FI.C. A. LO.T. I mean it. This was really one of the best fanfics I have ever read.
I want to start a fanfic too, have lots of ideas, but I ship too many couples...
And my main ones would be not so ordinary... except two, hehe
YukoRena/RenaYuko :ptam-shy: :ptam-wub: :onioncheer:
MariYuki/YukiMari :onionwhip: :bigdeal:
SaeMayu/MayuSae :onionshower: :bath:
Takacchan/Atsumina :hee:
WTomo :bingo:
Dunno if I should give it a try... :dunno:
EDIT: I started a fanfic... dunno if that will be good.
And wanted to repeat myself. Your fanfic is WONDERFUL, AMAZING
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update soon~ <33 oneigashimazu~
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This fic was certainly entertaining, got me glued on my seat from start to finish. I'm happy that this fic ended happily with them all safe and alive. Also, KojiYuu and AtsuMina having children, d'awww....... :heart:
Also, the special entries... Kojiharu and Yukirin getting stuck......lol, that was unexpected, but extremely hilarious, I can certainly imagine that scene playing, its really hilarious. :lol:
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Stupid Sexy Acchan and This Stupid Candlelit Dinner
SSA Log #8 – Entered 7/5/12 by Divine Vengeance
Requested by Dee1711
A/N: Guess who’s kinda back? :D Also, sorry for the delay in writing this, Dee-san! OTL
Also, happy early birthday to Acchan <3 Posting this the Sathday before her birthday seems fitting 8D
It's still barely Sathday here!
Anyways, this takes place roughly nine months before R I V E R’s epilogue 8P
Edit: Holy cow, this turned out to be way longer than I anticipated OTL And I'm not even halfway done at the time of this message ;A;
Edit Zwei: I need to not ramble so much before the start of a fic e_e
--<>--
[REDACTED]
--<>--
A/N: And that's that! Feel free to tell me how lame it is OTL
Comments/feedback feed the starving writer ;___;
Also, a huge thanks (and cyber hug) goes out to all the people still supporting me even while I virtually gave up on writing. You guys know who you are! I am really grateful for everyone's support ;__; b
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You are back with an update! Almost couldn't believe my eyes! Do you know that I still come back to read River again every now and then? That's how much I love and miss this awesome story.
Anyway, great SSA log. Love the fact that Yamamoto Sayaka appeared as Yuko's partner in crime here. Can't comment too much now as I need to go back to work but just want to say WELCOME BACK! :deco:
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I thought you said you'd post it on Acchan's birthday? But oh well, it doesn't matter much XD
As you know, I love everything you write. This got me laughing (and giggling) like crazy the other day, as I've told you = 3= b
So because I've already told you my comments, I'll not do it here again, it's too much of an effort :P But you know it's much more of an effort to actually go in here and write a frigging post again, right? = 3=
Sorry I wasn't of much help when you wanted opinions, I'm never good at giving them out. This, to me, doesn't strike much... tension (sexually speaking), but don't worry, nothing ever did; however, this is seriously appealing, "Majidayo~" ; v ; b
It might be sexually appealing to others (I'll bet you 5 bucks), and perhaps it might not appeal to me that way, I love this just for the writing style XD
I told you I didn't know what to say, but taking a closer look, I'll guarantee you that everything you write has a smooth and nice flow in itself. You don't gimme Korean dramas or old men's 18+ materials, but you draw me in your works through your narrating voice and the, once again, smooth flow of story events.
I wasn't there for you when you gave up on writing (you never told me >:U), but you know I'll always wait for you, right? = 3= b
By the way, writing something for you, knowing that you're not waiting for me to write that something, is kinda easier to do LOL
So write something when you have the time, I don't care when and how long it takes, clear? >XD
EDIT: Feel special, I've never, and I repeat, never, written any comment this detailed, clear, and long. While this might not be my first comment ever, this will always be the first-ever detailed, long, clear, my-real-opinion wise. This is the first time I've taken any comment this seriously ;_____;
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omg! I miss reading the SSA log!!! :on lol: Suddenly you updated!!! I was like.. :mon lovelaff:
This is really great! :mon thumb: Taka got tricked by Yuko and Sayanee.. and being a perv!! :mon lmao:
the placebo effect was awesome.. :mon mischief:
Thank you for updating this.. :kneelbow: and I'm looking forward to read more from you.. :hee:
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WOAH!!!! SSA LOG!!!!! :bow: :bow:
And here I was just wondering what I should do for the rest of my boring night. This so totally awesome~!
HAHAHA Takamina got tricked..... HAHAHAHA still laughing about it in the corner of the unit at work.
Poor Yuko and Sayanee, end up having to scrub toilets for doing Takamina a favor XD
Divine Kira!!! I miss your work! Please write us more I miss your Sathday updates keke.
Welcome back :twothumbs :twothumbs
~immok
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It's awesome!!! OMG atsumina moment!!! Sayanee and Yuko are genius
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SSA is awesome!
The placebo effect on Takamina = XD
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I'd been waiting for your SSA log!!
and it's worth the wait :twothumbs
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Lovin' these SSA logs. Always in the mood for some AtsuMina :P
So. . .with that little "gap". Am I seeing a lil perv feature in the future? :twothumbs
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
YOU'RE FINALLY BACKKKKKK!!!
I wanna hug you!! can I hug you?
It's sooooo worth the wait, really!! so cutee :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
I was lol at Yuko and Sayanee scrubbing toilet :lol: :lol: :lol: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
And as always, your writing skill and style always get me. Always. I love how you describe the "sexual frustation" inside that General Midget.. but still keep her shy and innocent character XD XD XD XD
Thank you. Again. For keeping this up. I adore River and this seri so. freaking. much. :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
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Ah~~ It's been a long time since I read the last update of SSA log~ I was like kyaaa :on gay:
lol at the pills trick~ Nice trick Yuko got here :on GJ: and Sayane is her partner in crime :on crazygran: :lol: :lol:
Takamina should be honest that she actually is a perv~ :lol: :lol:
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It's been quite sometime since I read your last update
And as I expected from you another AWESOME CHAPTER of this freaking AWESOME STORY!!! XD
Takamina really thought :grin:....you're such a perv Takamina!... and oh poor you, you're still easily fooled XD
I've got to say I almost believe Yuko about the pill, though I've got a feeling that Acchan planned the whole thing :P
I like part with Yuko baby talking to her kid...I totally see that scene
Anyways AWESOME JOB!!! :thumbsup
THANK YOU FOR THE UPDATE!!!
WILL THERE BE MORE SSA LOG?
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I read the whole saga "river" plus their extras, and I must say it's a masterpiece! There complement each other very well the parts of humor and drama
I must say that the extras in "SSA" are very entertaining and funny. :gmon flowers:
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(http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6rfrlW32Q1ql4d9f.jpg)
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on the first part i was like :mikilaugh:
then on the smexy part i was like :mon blood:
perverted takamina :mon lol:
then the last part where yuko and sayaka troll takamina is so damn funny!!!!
i'll be waiting for updates!!! :mon pray2:
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OMG!!! amazing fic and sexy..
jaja yuuchan you are a troll..
Sexadicchan you need to pay back to your husband..
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Hi there, Divine-san! :w00t: Hisashiburi~!
Taka... she's always so 'weak' and gullible that I tend to forgot she's a general. :lol: Good job, Sayaka.. Yuko! XD
Lame? ... Aish!! :smhid
Btw, don't be in the shadows too long! :lol:
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forever loving the fic and the ssa logs!!
read over these so many times i have forgotten the exact amount of times ive read it 8)
GOOD JOB SAYAKA AND YUKO IN TROLLING! but their punishment ... :lol:
i guess takamina wanted her revenge on them :P
thanks for this update though! been waiting for it :) :twothumbs
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DIVINE_VENGEANCE-SAN! YOU'RE BACK! *dances happily around, squeels while hugging a pillow, stares lovely at the phone's screen*
You have no idea how I missed your updates, TGoF-san (also Sieka-sama's and Muwi-chama's). The only atm happier thing than you three updating is me attending ATB concert this weekend. I'm glad you finally updated, coz I, like a few others, read R I V E R and SSA logs more than once (I do the same with other TGoFs' writings).
Our poor general... So gullible, so...'weak'.. She got pranked by my dearest Yuko-sama and Sayanee :D Yes, my Yuko-sama was, is, and always will be the most perfect and awesome squirrel! XD
Acchan was so cute, and yet so devil here, teasing our general :D The tension between them, then the blank space (which we hope will be put in the perv section *hint*hint*), then the afterwards sweetness and continuation of actions, which happened in the blank space (another pervy update plz *hint*hint*), were adorable and overheated and cute :-)
And my poor Yuko-sama.. She with Sayanee had to scrub toilets because of the favor they did for Bakamina... :smhid
And I agree with those, who say your writing style is smooth and written neatly. It is really easy to read what you wrote, as the vocabulary is not difficult, yet not poor. It has a nice flow, indeed.
Thank you for updating, and please do not stop writing. Even if you do, know I'll always support you and be waiting for your updates!
:bow: :bow: :bow:
Your fan,
sakura_drop_
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Honestly, will the libido of these two ever be tamed?
The fun sexy times aside, I of course particularly enjoyed the trolling of everyone's fav General (an almost mandatory thing it seems both in the fanfiction universe and in real life lol) as well as Yuko's baby talk on the phone. Seriously, have you ever considered writing a side fic with either (or both) the Takahashi family and the Kojima family? I'd definitely be all over that (Can you tell how much FEELS I'm having from Nanoha yesterday?)
You know, these days I'm more inclined to read a SKE fanfic over an AKB one (your fics are obvious exceptions to that, you being a particular fav author of mine) so I think I've forgotten how much I enjoy the kind of "vibe" these 'married' couples bring. I mean you certainly don't see this kind of thing in SKE fanfics very often haha.
So yes dearest Trollbro, thank you for reminding me how much fun it is to ride 'cruise ships' such as this. It is certainly a nice change from the various sunken ships (all my creys), potential battleships, and mini sailboats haha.
Excellent work as always and I look forward to any future updates and fics you may have (in particular about a certain idol crush of mine with a certain rund faced cutie =P)
It's good to see you around writing again :)
Btw, right after reading this, I couldn't help but go reread R I V E R's epilogue LOL.
But now, I honestly feel like re-reading the whole series again XD Well, it's summer, SO I SHALL!!.
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R I V E R
Extra IV – A
(Posted 9/10/12)
Warning: Mild language and violence ahead.
A/N: Guess who~
First and foremost, sorry if the following is OOC/boring/completely useless/any and all of the above. I lost all my writing mojo/my writing touch OTL (If I ever had any, that is.) Again, sorry if this is just crap T_T
Anyways, this takes place years before the events of the main story.
Edit: So this was originally going to be one whole long extra, but then I realized it was too long and I don’t think anybody wants to sit through pages of nonsense LOL
--<>--
[REDACTED]
--<>--
A/N: And that’s that~ I sincerely apologize if you are bored out of your wits and if this totally wasn't anything you’re interested in reading e_e I tried, okay? OTL [Insert star here]
And now… time for some rambly author stuff.
Tl;dr version: THANKS FOR READING. You get a cookie for being awesome! :D
Also, thanks to everyone that participated in the poll! You get ice cream for that.
Standard/long version:
First off, I’d like to give out some thanks. I don’t know how many of you are aware of this, but today is actually the R I V E R series’ first birthday! I want to give a big thanks to every single person that has supported this series, and an extra cookie goes out to the people that have read every single chapter involved. I really wasn’t expecting this series to go on this long/expand so much, but look at where we are now~
Secondly, I want to give a special mention to some specific people. I won’t mention any names, but I sure hope they know who they are. Through R I V E R, I have managed to meet some very wonderful people and have had the pleasure of becoming their friend. I was ecstatic just to have people read this nonsense I wrote on a whim, let alone have friendships actually be initiated because of this. To these special peeps, I am truly honored to be your friend, and I look forward to bugging you soon ;P
In regards to the poll, thanks again to everyone who participated. Your feedback was great to see, and I am definitely prioritizing my planning based on what you guys are more interested in. (Love Stoned, anyone? 8P) Things as of right now are actually a mess in my personal life for a variety of reasons, but they should blow over eventually and I’ll hopefully return to my old, more frequent updating rate.
Speaking of updates, don’t worry about not seeing the second half of this extra until the next decade or something. It’ll be here soon, so please look forward to that!
Once again, I really can’t express how thankful I am for your support. Thanks for continuing to wait for my updates, and thank you for reading them. This goes for any of my series/one-shots, not just R I V E R. I truly am grateful m(_ _)m
A big thanks to commenters as well for going the extra step. Your words feed my writer soul and are one of the greatest sources of motivation. Some of them even give me fresh new ideas to work into plots, be that for the better or worse 83 Thanks again, you epic people!
Anyways, enough babbling from me. Here’s… ramen for anyone who made it this far without falling asleep :P
See you all soon!
Anon out~
Oh cheesus, it’s been a year and I still ramble too much ~_~
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It wasnt boring at all! I love this series :D Thanks for writing things, I look forward to your next update :D
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Waaaa.... another update at last... XD
As always it was made me smile....
A squirrel bonked because sneezing on a cat? :rofl:
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Ah, so glad to see more to this story-universe! It's really rare that I love an AU as much as I love yours!~ When I was going through my "must-read-all-Atsumina" binge starting last month, I found your fics on tumblr and stayed up all night reading them. XD Noticing the dates on the posts, I wasn't expecting to see more, so I am so so so incredibly happy to read this wonderful piece of writing. And I had to go through quite a few hurdles to read it, too - As soon as I clicked on it, my internet went down. XD But I wouldn't be able to sleep unless I read it, so I desperately read it on my tiny iPhone screen... (Never again. But so worth it.)
Can't wait for the next part! I especially love your characterization of Takamina! So spot on!
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YOU. ARE. BACK!!!!
*hugging all around* :deco: :deco: :deco: :deco: :deco: :deco: :deco: :deco:
You dont have to ask me how did I feel when I see this :otomerika: :otomerika: :otomerika: :otomerika: I wanna hug you!! really!!
I would never ever get bored to this seri of your.. I've been reading RIVER over and over again :heart: :heart:
Please continue :heart: :heart: I know that Captain is gonna has a pretty good fight for more than one reason.. :deco: :deco:
I CANT WAITTTTTTT!!!
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Elsewhere, a squirrel was bonked for sneezing on a cat.
This was the most epic sentence EVER :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
Like I mentioned lots of times, this is no way near boring, I love this update very much.. We all know how dense our midget is, and Miichan's hilariousness made it all more enjoyable. Especially Yuko-sama's commentating on the 'battle'.
I'm waiting for continuation!! :bow: :bow: :bow:
BTW, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :deco:
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of course we love your fic!!! :D
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Happy Birthday, R I V E R!!!! :cheers
No one separates Miichan from her shrimps! I love, love, love your portrayal of Miichan here. Exactly how I would expect her to act around TakaFail who is still as much of a prude as ever (then again, this extra is set way before the main story so it's right that she's still a midget captain with ancient thinking). It's hilarious how even Miichan shudders at the thought of consulting the ultimate perv Yuko for anniversary gift ideas :lol: And yes, got to agree with sakura_drop_, this line "Elsewhere, a squirrel was bonked for sneezing on a cat." killed me (though I rose from the dead because I wanted to finish the update) XD Oh precious Yuko, always providing the laughs even though we don't see her!
Let me guess, did Milky drink a gallon of bad milk again? She's forever missing in action, that girl :smhid Not that I mind too much cos there's still my ultimate favourite Watanabe around. Speaking of our beloved cyborg, I want to say great job in describing her shoot-out scene with Kinoshita :twothumbs It's so detailed that I could picture everything in my head. Plus praying to the oshiri gods? Pretty awesome religion there. Where do I sign up? XD I'm sure Oshiriko would be proud. Aaaaaaaannnd I see what you did there, giving consecutive honorable mentions to Mayuyu's perfect butt. Sadly, she's out pretty early in the game and how dare that person aim at her flawless face?! I know she has a mask but still! RAWRLOL!. Might as well take the chance to nurse her poor sore oshiri. Her team's still going strong with Miichan and Takamina left in the game. Sorry Sae but I don't see you hanging on for too long :nervous Takamina needs to show Birdy's team who's boss and look every part the hero in front of Acchan. As for Miichan... well, she has her shrimps on the line so she's definitely not going down so easily!
Looking forward to the next part for sure! More squirrel abuse please! :deco:
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Why was I not given this. :(
/foreversabishii.
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Happy birthday ^^
Awesome as always
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I quickly logged when I heard river has an update! :on lol:
Thank you!! I voted for this!
You never failed me!
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:tama-slide: AM I SEEING THIS RIGHT? OH MY GOD! Divine Vengeance-san is writing a fic after a while! :panic:
Not just a new one but R I V E R! Now I'm happy!
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Oh and :on BDay: to this fic the first fanfic that I've ever read on :jphip: (been actually a year eh? I was a lurker then before I finally made an account)
Oh ho ho so SKE vs AKB :luvuluvu:
Time is setting when Takamina just recently got promoted to Captain
already admired and famous amongst people :tama-heart:
But but Mmmm Mayu! Nooo what's going on! :tama-uhh:
__________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Waiting patiently for one of my kami-author to update
ArígatoU! :kneelbow:
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R I V E R
Extra IV – B
(Posted 9/13/12)
Warning: Mild language and violence ahead.
A/N: And here’s Part B in a timely fashion, as promised ;P
Sathday updates ftw~ It’s still Sathday here, at any rate…
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[REDACTED]
--<>--
A/N: So… thanks for reading! I hope this was an acceptable follow up to the first half OTL
As always, thank you very much for your comments! <3 It makes me happy to know that you guys had a blast reading what I had a blast to write. I hope you enjoyed this installment!
Please look forward to more soon!
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I was read it on Trumblr and I didn't know how make the comment in Trumblr.
It was really interesting. Sae is really a good solder... I think eheh!
Just continue please! (I wait for the next of EXTRA of Mayuki pairing XD)
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Ahahah! Miichan ate all the shrimps!
Oh~ Atsumina~
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Let it be known that while the AKB team had won, SKE obviously had, overall, better tactics just sayin~
I mean, Kuumin had some top grade dodging skills, Churi was in a freaking tree, Goma and Shawako know opportunity when they see it and badass Yukko is badass 'nuff said.
AKB only won in the end cuz:
-Miichan is AMAZING
-Child wants her shrimp. You don't get in the way of this child's shrimp.
/100% totally biased ruling cuz I can and I just did.
FUAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA.
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:on gay: an update~~~~
Thank you!!
I cant say much enough..
Im not good in explaining..
but all i know is
I really really really like your fic river!
:hee:
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I just reread this LOLOL
Omg ZuZu I love these so much.
:heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
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As much as the shipper in my heart was looking forward to Atsumina the most, I found the Takamina and Miichan friendship to totally be the best part about this two part extra. You played them off of each other so well! XD Everything was so easy to picture with them.
Please look forward to more soon!
I totally squeed when I read this.
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This is the one of the most brilliant AKB48 fanfictions I've ever read! :thumbup Unfortunately, it was only yesterday that I discovered it. :wub:
This story has it all: action, violence, the bonds of true friendship, humor, lots of swearing, running jokes, and love! Besides, I admire that (unlike most other AKB48 fanfics) you've used the AKB-universe to create your own original story rather than simply writing about the real girls themselves. I love the militaristic setting as well. My only problem is that there are no men or boys to be seen – anywhere! The only man I recall mentioned was General Akimoto. Are there no males in this world at all? :lol:
I eagerly look forward to your next update!
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I just now realized I did not leave a comment...
:on gay: an update~~~~
Thank you!!
I cant say much enough..
Im not good in explaining..
but all i know is
I really really really like your fic river!
:hee:
me too~ :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: lol
I third this!!
Your update made me :mon angel:
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My only problem is that there are no men or boys to be seen – anywhere! The only man I recall mentioned was General Akimoto. Are there no males in this world at all? :lol:
Since this isn't too serious of a story and the focus is on our favorite girls, I didn't feel the need to bring in extra men. Rest assured, they exist somewhere in the world, just not "on screen," so to speak XD (I think I mentioned at least some male members of Takamina's family somewhere...) Who needs boys anyways?
Anyways, thank you for commenting! This goes out to all the other commentors as well.
Thank you for your continued support. Rereading your messages does bring back lost inspiration, so hopefully I'll have time soon to put said inspiration into words. Unfortunately, it might not be for the RIVER-verse that you all love so, but I hope you'll keep an eye out anyway :twothumbs
Clue: it's another extended series ;P
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My only problem is that there are no men or boys to be seen – anywhere! The only man I recall mentioned was General Akimoto. Are there no males in this world at all? :lol:
Since this isn't too serious of a story and the focus is on our favorite girls, I didn't feel the need to bring in extra men. Rest assured, they exist somewhere in the world, just not "on screen," so to speak XD (I think I mentioned at least some male members of Takamina's family somewhere...) Who needs boys anyways?
Anyways, thank you for commenting! This goes out to all the other commentors as well.
Thank you for your continued support. Rereading your messages does bring back lost inspiration, so hopefully I'll have time soon to put said inspiration into words. Unfortunately, it might not be for the RIVER-verse that you all love so, but I hope you'll keep an eye out anyway :twothumbs
Clue: it's another extended series ;P
I agree, there's not much need for male characters if our AKB girls are there... Who needs boys anyways? :lol:
I'd be very happy to read another extended series, but I wish you would occasionally update this story even if only with one-shots. I was gearing up to write and post a long review of all your chapters. I hope that would fuel your inspiration to continue this series as well! AKB48 in a military academy is a genius idea. Not to mention that you (as other comments have said) really put a personal perspective on the "cool" RIVER PV with humor and the close friendships of the girls. :D
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No worries there! Although my next few updates will probably be for other things, I still have short things here and there planned for RIVER. I'm really glad you enjoyed the setting of this series, and I'm definitely happy that I didn't disappoint fans of the PV XD
I'm already looking forward to that review, so thanks for going through that effort!
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Chapter 1: The hilarious (and epic) beginning (
or first strike of the “Egubitch”, and introduction of the endlessly running joke “Yuuchan, language!”)
As promised, my review of your story! I've said it before, but I must say it again: A military themed AKB48 fanfiction, complete with military ranks, is a brilliant idea! A school-type setting, or something such, is the best way to manage a large cast like this one. But the fact you tied it in with the mission featured in RIVER makes it double-awesome. This story takes you in right from the beginning. I read all the chapters in one sitting, and still wished there was more. :lol: So, to business...
Kojiyuu is an enduring favorite among all the AKB48 pairings. I loved how you characterized the two of them, especially the “Yuuchan, language!”. That's the biggest fan favorite joke in this whole fic. I love Yuko's swearing, and how she only lets her Nyan-Nyan school her language. And the way Kojiharu doesn't let anyone make fun of her Yuko. :heart: The flirtatious insults between Captain Yukirin and the grenade-happy cyborg are perfect as well. :twothumbs Also, the perfect teamwork between Captain Major Takamina and ace Acchan is spot-on. I really can imagine the two of them coordinating their attacks perfectly. Also, is sunglasses-wearing Mariko a reference to Iiwake Maybe? Because I can't recall her wearing sunglasses in the RIVER PV. :nervous
As others commented, this is the first time I've ever seen Eguchi Aimi featured in a fanfiction. And she's a monumental bitch. :lol: Since all of your major cast are AKB/SKE, using her for the mean character is pretty genius (because it doesn't hate on any real member, and it still uses someone who's actually part of the AKB universe). Now, no matter how elite our sixteen member unit is, they can't be expected to abide by the will of Egubitch and complete the objective. But it did make for one brief, emotional moment as the group huddle together for support and reassurance.
Also, Jurina's real-life attitude makes her seem like she would make a very “gung-ho” soldier who wouldn't back down from even an impossible challenge. But your characterization of her showing fear at the appropriate moment is better – she is, after all, the youngest among the AKB team. In addition, I loved how you both began and ended the chapter with “Yuuchan, language!”
One noticeable grammar error I saw was in this sentence: “Kasai Tomomi bit her lip as she took sent a few branches falling to the ground, hitting soldiers underneath”. It probably should be “Kasai Tomomi bit her lip as she took aim and sent a few branches falling to the ground, hitting soldiers underneath”.
My favorite quotes:
' A nod from Takamina signaled to Yuko that it was time to advance. The squirrel prodded Miichan and Kojiharu and gave a quick jerk of her head. “Here’s for hitting my hair earlier, mother fuckers,” Yuko growled as she shot one last time at the enemy.
Kojiharu raised her hand to give Yuko a quick bonk on the head. “As much as I treasure your hair too, you really need to watch your language, Yuuchan.”
Miichan opened her mouth with a devious grin, but before she could make any comments, Kojiharu sent her a smack as well. “No making fun of my Yuko.” '
' Jurina gripped her rifle tightly, fear evident on her face. Yuko moved next to her and quietly put a reassuring hand on the youngest girl’s shoulder. Despite this, Yuko herself was scared although she hid it by gripping Kojiharu’s hand tightly.
Chiyuu discreetly looped her arm through Tomochin’s. Instead of pulling away as she usually would, Itano merely pulled the other Tomomi closer. The rest of the group also visibly shifted closer to each other for support. '
' “Weeeeellllllllll…” Yuko dragged out, “FUCK.”
There was a dull smacking sound.
“Yuuchan, language!” '
(There is more review to come! I didn't have many suggestions for this chapter, because this fic is just so perfect.)
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Wow, you weren't kidding when you said you'd give a long review XD I really appreciate the effort you're making to do this because it helps me gain someone else's insight on all the different things going on while refreshing my memory on stuff written a while ago.
Also, thanks for catching that typo! As much as I proofread others' works, I tend to derp on my own :doh:
Regarding the characters, yes, I changed a few details like Jurina's slightly scared side and Yuko's potty mouth 'cause I feel that it gives them a different kind of depth more befitting soldiers than idols XD I'm not sure that Yuko would get away with all that cussing on national TV or something. As much as the characters are based on real life people, I wanted to give them a RIVER-verse twist :lol:
And yes, Iiwake Mariko was just too badass to be left out XD
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Chapter 2 (
Where Yukirin is BLACK, Takamina's guns are “loaded”, and the Egubitch can't get any bitchier)
To start off, this chapter is even funnier than the last. With the mumbling'n'grumbling Takamina, and DJ Minegishi right off the bat. I swear, there is so much hilarity.
Matsui Jurina is again represented as slightly shy and less experienced than the others. It was so sweet seeing Tomochin cheering her up, and giving her some mentor-like encouragement. Even though I'm more accustomed to seeing Mariko/Jurina as a mentor pair. But so far in this story Mariko is sophisticated and aloof, and less troll-y than usual. :lol: And I love all the Tomotomo that's happening, with the gruff Tomochin being flustered by her the “starry-eyed” Chiyuu clinging on her. And I can't even begin to describe how hilarious the exchange between Myao, Erepyon, and Kitarie is on the topic of Haruna's tsundere love for Yuko.
The entrance of the looming dark aura belonging to Yukirin was very sudden. :lol: The trio better be afraid, because her glare has all the force of a malevolent black hole! My favorite part of the conversation between the butt fanatics is the mention of “Takamina's loaded guns”. Speaking of which, Takamina talks too herself so much. I see Acchan's sexiness is a great point of worry for the midget. Its not Acchan's fault that she's hot! :lol: Poor embarrassed Atsumina! And poor Yuuchan can't get in a swear word without being smacked, even when her darling Haruna isn't around.
On the topic of Atsumina, I love how you've transitioned their idol group Captain-Ace duo to official battle duo in this setting. And I despise Eguchi for overworking Takamina to promote her own name! The moment when said overworked Takamina broke down into tears was so emotional... But then Egubitch has to break in and claim that she'll demote Takamina if they fail in this totally impossible mission. :angry: But again, its touching to see how the other members cheer up Takahashi... Encouragement from Sasshi, Sayaka, Erena, Miho, Kasai, Sae, her comrade-in-height Yuko, and of course Acchan. I love the relationships of friendship you describe in this story. :thumbsup
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I'm back with more chapter review! 8)
Chapter 3 (Where the Kojiyuu “tension” is actually resolved :w00t: )
Just a quick question: When AKB48 lyrics are incorporated in an AU fanfiction, were are they actually surmised to be coming from? Other than in your awesome story, I noticed that in Majisuka Gakuen Yuko's character (also called Oshima Yuko, of course) sang an AKB ballad.
So much Kojiyuu in this chapter! And a sweet little bit of Atsumina. I really like how Takamina only allowed Acchan to sing. :heart: Yuko and Miichan tried to troll Atsumina, but the tables were swiftly turned on Yuuchan by master troll Mariko. :lol: And you sneakily incorporated a bit of Saeyaka. I loved how the cheerful Sae is oblivious to her teammates gossiping behind her back.
Speaking of AKB48 pairings, Chiyuu is so heartbroken when she thinks the other Tomomi said that they aren't close enough to be “put together” by their teammates. Itano needs to work on her people skills! Honestly, Chiyuu might seem like the type who is enamored by the first handsome face to come along (at least based on how hard she fangirls over almost everyone in danso XD ). If you ever write anymore Tomotomo one-shots based in this setting, maybe you should explore Chiyuu finding someone other than her Tomomi attractive... And Itano getting possessive. It just seems like something the two might do.
The best part of this chapter was when Yuko's life flashed before her eyes (of course Kojiharu’s butt, skin, Kojiharu’s skin, Kojiharu’s chest are among the things she treasures most) and Kojiharu runs faster than she ever has to save her squirrel. Speaking of which, does Yuko only like lingerie when its on attractive women? :lol: I also liked the way Yuko suddenly called Harunyan “Kojima-san” after the other saved Yuuchan.
And the Kojiyuu kiss! :inlove:
By the way (even assuming this is nothing like the real military) 23 is a far too young age to be a Major. XD
(P.S. Just noticed that you've ended every chapter thus far with the obligatory “Yuuchan, language!”)
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Thanks again for reviewing! This has definitely brightened my very tiresome morning XD
I dunno how it works in Majisuka, but in RIVER... let's pretend that Aki-P is still a lyrical genius aside from being a general and that our girls still sing songs every now and then? And even if they're not performing and living out the constant idol-life, they're still raking in some big bucks to help fund Mayu's explosions their military expeditions :nervous
Yes, this is a very shoddy answer because someone didn't put too much thought into that :sweatdrop: Sorry!
For the record, nobody out-trolls Maritroll :lol:
Also, thanks for the TomoTomo idea! I had intended to write a non-RIVER TomoTomo fic, but that died somewhere. Your idea seems nice though, so hopefully I'll have time/inspiration to get it out :thumbsup
And yes, age and ranking are very somewhat skewed here. I tried to portray the AKB military as more informal, so certain things aren't as restricted/regulated (and provides more literary freedom).
Also, I just wanted to make our wonderful General Manager (though this was written before that particular promotion XD) more epic and in charge by being a cut above everyone else :nervous
I hope further unrealistic aspects of this don't turn you off too much, so to speak :sweatdrop:
Anyways, I'm glad that you're enjoying all that KojiYuu at least XD I think it's more of Yuko liking women in general if some shows are anything to go by, but lingerie is a bonus :lol: Don't let Kojiharu catch her in any act of expressing that like though.
All in all, thank you again for taking the time to write this review. I really appreciate it! :twothumbs
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Thanks again for reviewing! This has definitely brightened my very tiresome morning XD
I dunno how it works in Majisuka, but in RIVER... let's pretend that Aki-P is still a lyrical genius aside from being a general and that our girls still sing songs every now and then? And even if they're not performing and living out the constant idol-life, they're still raking in some big bucks to help fund Mayu's explosions their military expeditions :nervous
Yes, this is a very shoddy answer because someone didn't put too much thought into that :sweatdrop: Sorry!
For the record, nobody out-trolls Maritroll :lol:
Also, thanks for the TomoTomo idea! I had intended to write a non-RIVER TomoTomo fic, but that died somewhere. Your idea seems nice though, so hopefully I'll have time/inspiration to get it out :thumbsup
And yes, age and ranking are very somewhat skewed here. I tried to portray the AKB military as more informal, so certain things aren't as restricted/regulated (and provides more literary freedom).
Also, I just wanted to make our wonderful General Manager (though this was written before that particular promotion XD) more epic and in charge by being a cut above everyone else :nervous
I hope further unrealistic aspects of this don't turn you off too much, so to speak :sweatdrop:
Anyways, I'm glad that you're enjoying all that KojiYuu at least XD I think it's more of Yuko liking women in general if some shows are anything to go by, but lingerie is a bonus :lol: Don't let Kojiharu catch her in any act of expressing that like though.
All in all, thank you again for taking the time to write this review. I really appreciate it! :twothumbs
I'm very happy to have brightened your day! And actually, General Akimoto writing songs for the girls to preform at fundraisers is not a bad explanation. :yep: Its also funny how you wrote in your story of Takamina getting promoted from Captain to General Manager Major before her AKB promotion actually happened. You predicted the future. XD The unrealistic aspects don't bother me (and the other readers, I'm sure) at all. :D
Iwake-Mariko sunglasses enchance the troll-effect. 8)2
The Tomotomo idea actually came to me because of the way the two are characterized in your story + combined with the way Kasai actually acts.
Kojiyuu in this fanfic is so entertaining. I love it! :heart:
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Just Joining
Keep up the good work and looking forward to the next chapter
Thank you for interesting fanfic
Great Happy Ending for everyone :twothumbs :twothumbs :twothumbs
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Sorry for the long absence. I meant to post a few days ago, but got sidetracked.
Chapter 4 (New RIVER lyrics: Hey Gay Beeeees~ / Hate Bay Peeeeeps~ / Eight Cane Beeeeans~ To Fort Hate!)
I know I've said this before, but this chapter is hilarious right from the very beginning. :lol: Sayaka talking to herself really cracks me up. You know a fanfic is brilliant when it starts a chapter off with a sentiment like “mating feces!”. I can't stop laughing about the comments on Mayu and Yuki's relationship. But really this monologue is just Sayaka missing the others. She's the type of person who really cares for her teammates, one of the many qualities that makes her such an excellent Captain. Damn the management for taking away the captaincy of my team K oshimen.
But of course, the real highlight of this chapter are the nicknames which the rather incompetent enemy gives the AKB team. Although “Hey Gay Bees” is a pretty fitting name, I must admit. :lol: But I can't help feeling a little sorry for the dimwitted Private Derupu of the Marshmallow Squad :? as she is swiftly dispatched by Sayaka. She'll never get that double shower time.
Also, I like how you characterize Sae's cheerful personality. Her energetic and slightly childish behavior is at contrast with her ikemen face. I love the way she calls Sayaka “Cap'n”. I find it endearing that she's using Akimoto's official designation in such an informal way. The way Sae gets Sayaka to lighten up with her exaggeratedly dignified imitation before the Captain can chastise her is a perfect characterization of the Team K duo. Twin Towers forever! :heart: May you long hide in the bushes together, if ya know what I mean.
Mayuyu admires the killer rack of Yukirin in the heat of battle. Takamina would so rather be in Acchan's vest, of course. These girls never stop flirting, do they? But you explained the reason why AKB team is so lighthearted even in tough combat situations – it's because they have the Major Midget to rely on, who takes the stress for them. Speaking of which, a lot of pressure is put on the real Takamina to carry AKB48. After all, she's been a top senbatsu member since the very first AKB single, not to mention the unofficial captain. And after becoming the official captain of Team A, she gets another promotion. I'm glad Takahashi didn't take Aki-P's offer to become a member of the management. As she herself said, Takamina is still an idol! And now they want to do the same thing with Yuko, making her the captain in Team K in addition to the center and top-ranked member. The management puts too much pressure on the shoulders of one or two members! :smhid
Sorry for getting off track. Continuing with my review...
You gave a great description of Yuuchan's happiness at seeing Kojiharu. “Dimples appeared on her face” is short and sweet, but very cute. And how does Mariko manage to stay flawless when the others are caked in dirt and twigs? And why does Mari-troll have a tooth-pick? 8)2
This chapter almost ended with “Yuuchan, language!”. But not quite, since the grenade-obsessed cyborg intruded.
I'd love to see more Twin Towers one-shots! They really compliment each others personalities, both in real-life and especially in this story. :deco:
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It's good to hear from you again! I thought you got bored or died because of idols or something :panic:
I'm really glad to hear that you really liked the Twin Towers in this chapter. I wasn't too sure what to do with their characterizations 'cause I didn't know them enough when I wrote this fic, so I just went with my intuition on their personalities. It's good to know that you like the dynamic I gave them here :twothumbs
I used to have a SaeYaka RIVER one-shot idea floating around, but it got scrapped because of a lack of inspiration, interest, and time, but we'll see if it decides to come back :nervous
Anyways, I don't think Private Derupu ever stood a chance against our lovely gay bees (I still can't believe I wrote that and it's been so long :banghead:). They're all just too skilled and under Takamina's leadership, there's no losing.
Unfortunately, like you said, management really likes piling on duties to specific members. WMidgets seem really tired to me lately :( Here's to supporting them and the burden they carry! If they ever want a personal attendant for free, I'm here!
Back on track, thanks again for writing such a detailed comment! I'm sincerely very grateful for the effort you're putting into this. It's always a great reassurance to know someone is picking up on all the things going on, especially in faster moving settings with so many characters. It seems none of the OTPs and their antics missed your eye :lol:
Thank you once more for this! :twothumbs
And... just don't question Maritroll's badassery.
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great fic i love kojiyuu moment ;)
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It's good to hear from you again! I thought you got bored or died because of idols or something :panic:
I'm really glad to hear that you really liked the Twin Towers in this chapter. I wasn't too sure what to do with their characterizations 'cause I didn't know them enough when I wrote this fic, so I just went with my intuition on their personalities. It's good to know that you like the dynamic I gave them here :twothumbs
I used to have a SaeYaka RIVER one-shot idea floating around, but it got scrapped because of a lack of inspiration, interest, and time, but we'll see if it decides to come back :nervous
Anyways, I don't think Private Derupu ever stood a chance against our lovely gay bees (I still can't believe I wrote that and it's been so long :banghead:). They're all just too skilled and under Takamina's leadership, there's no losing.
Unfortunately, like you said, management really likes piling on duties to specific members. WMidgets seem really tired to me lately :( Here's to supporting them and the burden they carry! If they ever want a personal attendant for free, I'm here!
Back on track, thanks again for writing such a detailed comment! I'm sincerely very grateful for the effort you're putting into this. It's always a great reassurance to know someone is picking up on all the things going on, especially in faster moving settings with so many characters. It seems none of the OTPs and their antics missed your eye :lol:
Thank you once more for this! :twothumbs
And... just don't question Maritroll's badassery.
Again, I'm sorry for the long absence. I've been very busy lately, but hopefully I'll post my next chapter review soon. 8)
Your first comment made me laugh so hard. :lol: Also, I'm really glad that hearing from me makes you happy.
All the members have very unique personalities, but both of the Twin Towers are especially great. I love it how each team has a pair with a perfect dynamic (Atsumina and Mayuki as well as Saeyaka). :heart: I will be unbelievably happy to read a Saeyaka RIVER one-shot. I don't know what your original idea was, but maybe you should make it Super-woman Sayaka trying to train a younger cadet Sae to be less clumsy. After much frustration Sayaka finally gives up on a lost cause, but then Sae manages to truly impress her captain. XD
The idol world is an unfair one. :( All fans can do is love and support them (in the case of foreign fans, from afar!).
Thank you for the compliment. This fanfic is too good for someone not to review it in depth. :twothumbs
By the way, if each character had an emoticon...
Maritroll: 8)2
Yuuchan: :grin:
Harunyan: Somewhere between :catglare: and :cathappy:
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Chapter 5 (Where the real hardcore action begins!)
You've had some great chapter beginnings, but chapter 5 was undoubtedly the most memorable to me the first time I read this fic. You incorporated the RIVER lyrics perfectly into the dialogue. And I also love how adhere to the PV scenes, like the epic river crossing that is the song's focal point, but give it a more personal touch with the lively personalities of each girl. :twothumbs
Seeing how the soldiers act under duress is interesting, but you always manage to put a cute little comment for each pairing (like Mayu clinging on Yuki, the way Kasai calls Itano 'Tomochin', and how Kojiharu worries for Yuuchan). Crossing the river is clearly a much greater challenge for the WMidgets, both of whom probably aren't tall enough to ride some roller coasters. :lol: Their poor ace, extrodinary as she is, may also not be up to the challenge. IRL Acchan said that she was scared of swimming after almost drowning once. Again, it's very interesting how you mirror actual personalities of the members but add special traits to make them seem more like soldiers. Also, all three Captains are really serious in these scenes. I can imagine their stony 'maji' expressions, especially Sayaka.
So it's the fault of Colonel Bitchzilla that the helicopter spotted our Gay Bees? A coincidence? I think not! :angry:
This chapter shows some facets to your characters we haven't seen yet. For one, even the 'ever-composed' Mari-troll panics slightly. Secondly, the my-paced Harunyan unexpectedly stands up to put the Colonel in her place. I agree with Yuuchan: “Go Nyan-nyan!” :twothumbs
These next few scenes have some intense action, and they also have the first time a character gets hurt. Some people were probably unhappy that their beloved characters got hurt, but I think it's rather more realistic than having AKB team come out completely unscathed. But the suddenness of Erena's near-fatal injury is a bit shocking. The blood flowing through the river makes for evocative imagery.
Another striking moment was when Takamina finally decided to retreat, and the Major and First Lieutenant Acchan called each other by their official designations. I would have also liked you to describe how they were staring at each other – and if Minami actually saw what Acchan was planning as she looked into the eyes of her ace. Atsuko must have done a great job hiding it if her midget didn't realize until it was too late!
Acchan going to finish the impossible mission by herself was really admirable. So far you had shown what excellent teamwork she had with Takamina, but nothing to indicate why the team considered her their top member. This really proved once and for all that Maeda Atsuko is the ace of of AKB48.
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What's a RIVER fic without the song's lyrics showing up somewhere? XD And you definitely need a badass river crossing attempt :lol:
Once again, I'm really glad that you're picking up on all the little things like interactions between our soldiers. It's really a blessing to know that you're not missing all the little OTP things I snuck in XD I also like how you picked up that fact about Acchan vs water that I took from reality.
Overall, my goal in writing AU fics is to keep the basic cores of characters/people while seeing how the different setting would change them and their interactions with each other, which is why we get to see details from reality reflected in our idols while having some slight adjustments and twists here and there more befitting of RIVER :twothumbs
The ultimate goal of this chapter was to show that shiz was going down, so your reaction to poor Erepyon, everyone's increased panic/tension/stress, and the Major-Ace duo's change in attitude is well noted.
Regarding the latter's eye contact, Takamina probably anticipated that Acchan would want to do something to salvage the situation but hoped that the ace would obey her strict order. Too bad someone's future wife is more stubborn than the major :rofl: With that said, Takamina might have been able to see more during that staredown, but you don't exactly get to have an eye-argument when you have a bleeding comrade and the threat of returning choppers :nervous
Thank you once more for your insight and lengthy review. I really appreciate the effort and thought you have put into this, and I look forward to the next review! :twothumbs
If you're busy, no pressure at all XD
P.S. I apologize if I made little to no sense in this reply. As of right now, I am absolutely braindead and dying of exhaustion so my coherence is even more lacking than usual :bleed eyes:
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Okay. I snuck in, read the fic, escaped, came back, read the fic again, AND HERE I AM
GOOD MORNING.
I just wanna say that this fic is an Ubber-duper-crazylicious-perfecto-atsumina-kojiyuu-and-other-akb-parings-filled-fic. xD I really enjoyed all the Atsumina moments. :3 so... WRITE MORE? :ptam-wub: :ptam-wub:
All my OTP feels after reading this... :ptam-hbk: :ptam-hbk:
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Not!A/N: So... guess what we have today? It’s been a while since anything from RIVER has updated, but we have a new installment in store. Funnily enough, this log is being posted exactly a year after the previous one. This is written by one of my beta readers, Titi (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?action=profile;u=50319), who is the lovely writer of Hallucination (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=33229.msg1057679#msg1057679). I hope you enjoy!
Stupid Sexy Acchan and Stupid Maxwell’s Demon
SSA Log #9 – Entered 7/5/13 by Titi
A/N: Hi.
--<>--
It was a hot day. Summer had climbed the stairs of ascendency and engulfed all areas under its dominance in torpor, cloaking the azure, cloudless sky with visibly swaying heat. Bearing the relentless, brilliant rays of the sun, the outline of Akiba Base transformed to a wavy distortion, seeming ready to float into the firmament any moment. One could elucidate it as an illusion of the desert, though, despite there being no land of sand in the vicinity.
On days such as this, even the roof of the building could not manage to deliver a rescue to the personnel working in this heat. Unfortunate incidents were guaranteed to happen, such as—
“Major Takahashi!” At the mention of her name, a person of modest height turned on her heels. She, being relieved of her duty, was making her way to the so-called “common room,” namely so for the reason that there being no other use for a certain large room. Her ribbon now lay neatly in her right hand, as it was unbearable to have extra weight on her head with this temperature.
Takahashi Minami looked at Matsui Rena, both of whom had equally flushed faces and equally drenched clothing. “Yes, 2nd Lieutenant Matsui?”
After a moment of hesitation and fidgeting, Rena proposed her intention. “Major Takahashi, may I…” she paused, licked her bottom lip, and continued with a discerned worry, “may I request permission to leave duty?” Furrowing her brows, she added, “For an hour?”
The short major raised her eyebrow. “And for what reason?”
“2nd Lieutenant Matsui Jurina hasn’t perspired for the past hour. I believe it is a case of heatstroke.”
“Ah,” Minami made a simple noise of recognition, pondered about it for several seconds, and smiled. “Permission granted. You’ll escort her to the infirmary, I take it?”
“Yes, thank you,” Rena gave her a smile of her own in appreciation.
“Before you go, though, call someone on duty to take over your post. Also, don’t make her drink too much water. Let her drink something like tea.”
She grinned as Rena, who was already on her way down the hall, shouted another “thank you”, and resumed her short walk to said ‘common room’. As she rounded a corner, voices mixed in an unrecognizable din reached her ears, and she shook her head and mumbled, “Who has the energy to talk so loudly in this kind of weather?”
Arriving at her destination, Minami grabbed the doorknob, turned, and pulled the door, creating a gap through which cold air from the other side escaped and the voices went on a crescendo. Another smile made its way to her face as she entered the room, closing the door behind her, glad to avoid the heat.
Her target was the colossal sofa dwelling in the center of the room, where some of her friends occupied. Her eyes scanned the ‘paradise’ while her feet carried her to the target. At the far end was Yokoyama Yui, sitting on a rather comfortable chair and reading a book. Several other chairs decorated the room. Next to her, in the corner stood a bookshelf, replete with books on technology, dotted here and there with some comic books. “Who brought mangas in here again?” Minami groaned. In another corner was the air conditioner, breathing blasts of chilly air throughout the room.
In the middle was the aforementioned sofa, on which sat Shinoda Mariko and Minegishi Minami, who were obviously watching the thin LCD monitor lying in front of the wall. Beside them were Oshima Yuko and Watanabe Mayu, their eyes glued to the screen, their hands smashing some small objects, occasionally yelling and jerking their bodies to the motions on the screens. From their hands, small black cables protruded and led to the black box before the TV. There was some space left on the sofa.
Kojima Haruna was sitting on a wooden chair near the sofa, between the sofa and the entrance, with her back facing the door. A PSP had her focus. Yuko would occasionally cuss, followed by Haruna’s “Language, Yuuchan!” Mayu would shriek when her character was attacked by whatever thing which was her enemy, and the two audiences continued cheering. Another object, however, caught Minami’s attention more than the source of noise. An Xbox lay a few feet behind Haruna. “Who did this!?” Minami growled.
Everyone here was off-duty. As Minami approached the sofa, a soft click sounded from the door, and she turned to find Maeda Atsuko entering, which prompted a smile from the midget. Atsuko smiled back and walked over to stand by her side. Minami decided against sitting on the sofa, seeing there was only enough space for one. She deemed it better to stand with Atsuko.
The taller girl pulled at the collar of her shirt and began fanning herself using it. She was trying to dry the sweats, which drenched her uniform in a darker hue. Hair clung to her face in a manner that made Minami aware of the scorching temperature despite being in a cool room. Drops of clear, transparent liquid slowly crawled along Atsuko’s well-defined face, travelling down her neck and hiding behind the collar. Dabbing her nose with the sleeve of her uniform, Atsuko’s eyes met Minami’s.
Minami nervously smiled at Atsuko and, reproaching herself for being caught staring, averted her eyes. She felt Atsuko move in closer and slightly lean on her shoulder.
“Ah hah! Take this! Kamehameha! The power of fantasy!” Yuko shouted as she jumped up slightly from her seat, pushing the controller down for further emphasis of said “power of fantasy.”
Mayu raised her voice to match that of Yuko. “There is no such thing as the ‘power of fantasy’! There’s no other explanation to Goku’s power than Maxwell’s Demon!” As she finished her line, both hers and Yuko’s characters died, eliciting a cry of dismay from Yuko, who tossed the controller to Mayu and leaned back against the soft surface of her seat.
“I give up!” Yuko whined, rubbed her eyes, and proceeded to move closer to Haruna. “Nyan-nyan, what are you playing~”
“What is this ‘Maxwell’s Demon’ you speak of?” Yui lowered her book and directed her attention at Mayu now.
“You definitely took it from another one of your physics books, didn’t you?” Miichan grinned.
“Don’t make Yukirin mad with your physics talk, or else she’ll incinerate them books of yours.” Mariko snickered as Mayu gave a painful moan at her statement and continued, “Let’s see…” She put an index finger on her chin and pretended to be in deep pensiveness. “Last time she burned two of your books on hand grenades. Yup, this time she’ll burn the rest.”
“Boo!” Mayu pouted.
“So are you gonna explain? Or are you gonna leave us in the dark?” Yuko asked from her position of having her head on Haruna’s laps, with the lower half of her body still on the sofa and most of the upper half hanging in the air.
“Ah hah! So you’re interested! Good, Professor Watanabe shall teach it to you!” This brought a chuckle out of Minami, who was directly behind Mayu, which made the younger girl jump to her feet. When she realized it was the major, she sighed and threw Minami an accusing glare.
“I didn’t mean to. I mean, I didn’t know you were that much of a scaredy-cat,” Minami said as she smirked. She turned toward Atsuko, who quietly giggled, and at times like this remembered the uniform was---or at least the shirts were—almost see-through.
“Ya-hoy!” Miichan half yelled with a smirk. “Or was it ‘Yay-hoy’?” she asked and half yelled again at ‘Yay-hoy.’
Mayu mumbled a “boo” and quickly brightened once again as she moved on to the topic that recently caught her interest. As the team’s cyborg and an explosives maniac, her frequent love for physics was inevitable and understandable.
“Well, there’s this thing called the Second Law of Thermodynamics, which basically says that heat flows naturally from an object at a higher temperature to an object at a lower temperature, quoted physics for dummies. It has more, but we’re not physics maniacs, so I’ll leave it there. You get it?”
At everyone’s nod, Mayu carried on. “Well, there is this guy whose name is Maxwell. He proposed this hypothesis where this Second Law could be violated—”
“Violated! Woot!” Yuko cheered, interrupting Mayu, and earned a smack to the head from Haruna.
Mayu grinned at Yuko and slapped her palm against Yuko’s. “Anyway, in an isolated environment, like a room separated from the universe, the Second Law will occur. It’s mostly impossible. But say we split the room in two with a door in-between, guarded by a being—the demon—that can follow the motion of individual molecules moving in the room. Now suppose that this demon allows faster molecules to pass to one side, and slower molecules to the other, he will, without exerting energy, raise the temperature of one side and lower that of the other.
This decreases entropy and thus will generate energy.” Seeing that most eyes had gone blank, Mayu explained, “Entropy is a measure of disorder, and energy must be invested to reverse it. For example, Yuko has to untangle her earphones whenever she takes them out of her pocket, which requires energy. So, because the demon doesn’t need to use energy, entropy is defeated, and this generates energy. Like I said, it’s proven impossible.”
She paused and took a breath. “And that’s why I told you Goku must have used the power of Maxwell’s Demon! ‘Cause Kamehameha’s a blast of heat and energy!”
“Hey! No fair! It’s totally the power of fantasy!” Yuko complained.
“No! Maxwell’s Demon!”
“No! Fantasy!”
“No! Maxwell!”
“No! Fantasy!”
“No! Demon!”
“Who says Goku’s a demon?”
“I do!”
The girls continued their bickering, causing others to shake their heads. “Remind me how old are they again?” Minami sighed.
“Love-struck teenagers,” replied Miichan as she and Mariko bet on who would prevail over the silly argument. “Ice cream.”
“I’ll give you my signature if I lose,” Mariko smirked.
“Deal’s over, yo dawg!”
“How about one of Mariko-sama’s fantabulous sunglasses?”
“I said deal’s over, man!”
“Oy, no betting in the military,” Minami jokingly scolded. Then she looked at Atsuko and asked, “What’s wrong?” Her partner was unusually quiet.
“Hmm…” she hummed and after a while answered in a quite naïve manner. “I wish that demon were real.”
“Hah?” Minami thought her eyes must look like those of a dead fish, in fact, like Kashiwagi Yuki’s eyes whenever the latter put on her reaction queen’s face.
Atsuko nodded and asserted her previous statement by another hum. She now faced Minami, who suddenly noticed the unfastened button on her partner’s collar button and her slender neck that moved in vibration with each word. “I want that demon. It can open that ‘door’ so that the hot air will go outside and the cold air will stay in the base.”
“Uh, Acchan, I, uh…” Minami trailed off, gulped as if thirsty, and scratched her cheek, which felt flushed under her fingers. “I don’t… uh, think it works that way.”
“But certainly someone looks like she needs to cool off her head,” Yui announced her presence, which unfortunately had been rather dim due to her silence, and grinned as her target of teasing snapped her head to glare at her.
“True! True! So true!” Miichan and Mariko nodded sagely. Another “So much truth!” could be heard amidst the still bickering girls’ shouts.
“What! You guys—” About to rant on how she would never be or do this and that, the short major stopped in her track as she felt something trickle down her nostril. Quickly sniffing and pushing her index finger against her nostril, Minami could tell from the others’ faces that she was rather late in her attempt and wiped her nose with her other hand, which came away with a red streak on it. “Damn.”
“Yo~ You think Takamina’s demon opened the door to let all the blood to her head, while her feet are cold? She has too much blood running to her head for what~ever reason, it looks like~” Yuko teased.
“No, no, her demon opened the door to let her hormones out~~” Mayu sang.
“Her demon?” Miichan mused, “Oh, you mean her manhood? Oh my gosh, you’re so manly, Takamina!” Atsuko ssexy beasted at Miichan’s statement, furrowing her eyebrows in a comical way and scrunching up her nose.
“Then don’t you think Acchan is the demon? I mean,” Mariko smirked, nudged Minami, “I mean, she’s why you’re opening up your hormones dam,” and laughed.
“You guys, give her a break!” Haruna finally looked up from her PSP-meditation and fended off a certain midget who kept singing “Nyan-nyan~.” “It’s fine, you know? It’s understandable, because her heart has a man’s thing.”
“No! That is not fine! I do not have a man’s thing in my heart! Absolutely not!” Her cheeks flushed further with the teasing.
“You don’t have to be shy; we understand,” Yuko said, which drew a laugh from everyone.
Said manly person pouted and mumbled to herself. “Stupid sexy Acchan. Screw her! Screw stupid sexy Acchan! Stupid sexy Acchan and stupid sexy collar. Stupid sexy neck.”
While she immersed herself in her rant of a list of “stupid sexy” things, Atsuko smiled sweetly and reassured her, “Don’t worry, I don’t mind if your hormones run amok.”
“No! I said that is not fine!” As the room was filled with laughter once more, the poor girl grimaced and grumbled. “Stupid what's-his-name's demon!"
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R I V E R
Extra II – B
(Posted 8/1/13)
Warning: Mild language and violence ahead.
A/N: This takes place several years before the events in R I V E R.
Shoutout to my wonderful penpal (keyboardpal?) over here at jphip. I hope you know who you are! :P
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[REDACTED]
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A/N: Also, just a quick note: I might stop updating, especially here, since readership is nearly gone.
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Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!! I'll start a campaign!!! I'll throw a tantrum!!!! The raging club or society!!!! Divine-san!!!!!
I did not comment but it dun mean I dun love your fic!!!!!!
I....am so like you, realizing the forum is nothing like it was before and that the readers dun appreciate the writers' hard work at all!!!!
You are my god of fanfics together with the one who is already gone!!!
I am already baffled by her leaving but if you leave too...
AAAAHHHHH, iyada~!!!!!!
:tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum: :tantrum: :on blackhole: :on blackhole: :on blackhole: :on blackhole: :on blackhole: :on blackhole: :on blackhole: :on blackhole: :on cloudeye: :on cloudeye: :on cloudeye: :on cloudeye: :on cloudeye: :on cloudeye: :on cloudeye: :on cloudeye: :on cloudeye: :on cloudeye:
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I miss yuuchan's language :v
mayuki chemistry brushing each other :heart:
“Hetare– I mean Cadet Sashihara at your service!” her partner declared, imitating the salute.
:lol:
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Hehe Mayuki is so cute~
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My dear friend, you did it! I thought the Love Stoned update (which I haven't had a chance to review) was it but you surprised me with this RIVER MaYuki Extra! It's been nearly two years since the idea of this was suggested (yes, I went through the previous pages of this thread to find it and in the process, I greedily reread the old extras) and it's finally become a reality. Patience does pay off XD Anyway, this latest MaYuki came at the most appropriate time. It was the light at the end of the tunnel, the comforting warmth of a lover's embrace, the surprise tissue pack in your pocket when the toilet paper has run out... Alright, the last one was a bit of a joke but you get my drift. Yesterday was a horrible day for me; the worst in recent years to be exact. I wasn't expecting anything to chase the storm away but along came your update and I found myself genuinely laughing and smiling for the first time since waking up. I'm not exaggerating. Your update was like Chicken Soup for the Soul. And for that, let me express my deepest gratitude to you.
Anyways, enough of my personal issues. Let's get this review started.
As always, you don't disappoint and you remind me why I love the RIVER-verse so much. The characters - even if they are just the supporting cast - are an entertaining bunch with their distinct personalities. It was great seeing the clumsy hetare cadet Sashihara and the calm and all-knowing Yokoyama again. Heck, it was awesome to hear the soldiers grumbling about Public Enemy No.1 Eguchi too. We all need a bitch to hate on :lol: The brief mention of the Akimoto-Miyazawa duo brought back fond memories of that air duct training incident. Seriously, Sae is not made for stealth.
“It’s just… She knows how to push buttons that other people don’t even know exist,” she sighed.
A very NSFW mental image crossed my mind the moment I read that line. I mean, I'm not sure about buttons but Mayuyu does have an innate talent of handling a certain superior's "doorknobs" :rofl:
During the mission, I can't help but squeal internally at the duo's dynamics which give hints of what their future relationship in the main RIVER story will be like. Mayuyu, despite being the skilled bomb-loving cyborg is prone to fear and little panic outbursts, just like the time they had to cross the deep river in that suicide mission. Good thing there's the Great Kashiwagi for her to rely on. It was really kind of Yukirin to offer Mayuyu assurance in times of need instead of rebuking her for showing her weak side.
One thing I like about your writing is your choice of words to deliver humour and wit that pack a punch without going into too much details. Here are some examples that stand out to me.
“There are some trees out there,” she informed as she quickly began packing up her equipment. “We can aim for them instead of the concrete.”
She subconsciously gulped as she judged the distance between a lucky landing and utter doom.
Mayu made a literal leap of faith.
And Mayuyu thanking the god of rear ends... I see what you did there 8) I also got a huge laugh when Yukirin said her first words after the jump, admitting how crazy her idea was. Not so brave now, are we? :lol:
Then the wild old lady appears! :rofl: :rofl: It was totally random but somehow fit the already ridiculous situation they were in. The First Lieutenant has her little cyborg to thank for being alert while she was busy fussing over herself and being a reaction queen... although the Corporal becomes a complete klutz in her presence. But hey, on the bright side, that Beckham-worthy kick gave Yukirin a chance to lay claim to the younger soldier! I wonder what the old woman had to say to that XD
A certain lieutenant closed her eyes and clenched her jaw in patience as she lay on the dirt. She exhaled very slowly as she waited for the now-familiar weight above her to move.
This sentence made me giggle like the hopeless MaYuki shipper I am. Seems like Yukirin has long gotten use to the feeling of Mayuyu pressed against her. As much as she appears to be annoyed by the accidental skinship, her subconscious mind has already accepted it and boy, I would even say she enjoys it. The last scene in the dorm room is just so darn sweet. Yukirin choosing to swallow all sarcastic remarks and showing her gentle side to Mayuyu was... :wub: :wub: Oh look! She even held the door open for Mayuyu! :inlove:
Thank you so much for this MaYuki extra. I really, really love it and it makes me long for more RIVER MaYuki from you (or any MaYuki for that matter) because you sure know how to stir my OTP feels. I have already read this five times and I swear that number will go up again very soon. All the dark clouds in my head have already cleared by the time I'm done typing this review. You sure you didn't put a happy spell in your writing? I'm certainly looking forward to more works from you - be it RIVER, Love Stoned or any Irrelevant Stories. Nothing makes my day better than seeing an update from you :twothumbs
Oh, and if you ever stop updating here, you can bet that I'll be hounding you like a vengeful spirit :P
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Waaaaaay I'm so happy that you update it!!!! It was really fun! Mayuki are really weird :lol:
You make all the character very interesting! You should continue :thumbsup
Thank you for the update :)
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DON'T YOU DARE DISAPPEAR I WILL HAUNT YOU DOWN IF YOU DO ;-;
It's not like you don't know how much I love you anyway
MaYuki goodness just makes me sit in a dark corner and ;) ;) ;) ;)
But then. Why is Mayu such a cyborg.
And that Kojiyuu moment at the end I saw it. xD
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Wow! An update! From this series! :shocked: I hope I'm not imagining things, LOL. :panic: One of the few series that had actually gotten me introduced into the world of fan fictions for the 48 Group universe~ Finally received an update! :deco:
I remember reading your work actually not from this forum page but rather on Tumblr from last year. I would always be waiting and waiting for an update as a silent stalker-Er, I meant, as a silent reader, haha. :yep: So now I finally have the chance to comment~ Not to mention that this is considered the first comment ever from me on your series, RIVER.
So, with the update of Extra II - B, I see that both Mayu and Yuki as ever are lively when they're together. Whether they are fighting, arguing or even just talking to each other, the two girls never seem to be ever so quiet. :rofl: And I see that they've got quite a rough situation at hand when they're under fire within the building. Thankfully though they manage to get out of the situation... With some landing feat they've accomplished. (Partially thanks to the "gods of rear end" also. XD) Then when they were exchanging with the civilians, I found it extremely amusing with Mayu's internal thoughts towards Yuki's statement about the girl being her "girlfriend" instead of "sister." Not to mention Yuko probing into their relationship and talking quite a lot about signs of them being in love and such. The squirrel's reaction at the end of the Extra chapter is hilarious, haha. That Yuko~ XD
I'm glad to be able to comment on your work and read another amazing update from you! I hope you stay (and if you leave, I'll be joining the mini hunting squad to chase after you) and thanks for the update on this series, RIVER! :deco:
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Wow! An update :shocked and it's MaYuki time! :inlove: more please~ XD
Hope you won't stop updating, Divine Vengeance-san :bow: :bow: :bow:
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Cool story please do a SaeYaka extra
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Why are some ofthe chapters redacted?! :angry: :smhid :thumbdown: :banghead: :banghead: :angry:
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Eh?! Why can't I read the chapters?!? What's going on?!? NOOOOO!!! :OMG:
Author-san, please please PLEEEEAASE fix this! I wanna read these chapters over and over again. :pleeease:
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why can't I read the chapter :cry: