A/N: As usual replies down below, but today there's more important information.
Well, I'm here to say this FanFic has FINISHED!
I'm kidding, well, this is like the part one of volume 1, if you know what I mean.
And, I will be moving on to part two next time, which will start still start under chapter five. But, under a part two in the contents.
And, guess what. Part two will be the sequel, which means they have grown up but still struggling with their love for each other.
Well, look forward to that and enjoy this last chapter of their lovely youthful days~04: When I forget my purpose.[Present]
‘There seems to be tension between you and Milky, what happened?’
Scroll.
‘Hey, why aren’t you and Milky at the same stages anymore?’
Scroll.
‘Are you and Milky fighting?’
Scroll.
‘You and Milky seem distant lately, is it just my imagination?’
Sayaka literally chucked her phone. The sound of her phone crashing onto the tiles of the TV station was heard loud and clear as she broke the icy cold silence of their waiting room. She abruptly stood up and walked out the waiting room. The little pieces of the phone’s cracked screen slid across the room and spread everywhere, and the back of her phone snapped off. Just like Sayaka, the broken phone lay alone in the corner of the waiting room. Everyone just stared at the phone and its fragmented pieces that flew everywhere in the room. But, soon their eyes all diverted to their leader who just left the room in a hurry.
“Hey, Miyuki…” Mayu said as she tugged the girl’s arm. “Shouldn’t you talk to Sayaka?”
Miyuki just stared at the empty space at the door, where Sayaka stormed off. She looked down feeling guilty. She didn’t mean to hurt Sayaka. The distraction of marriage just had to happen after she confronted Sayaka at the station. If she knew that were to happen she wouldn’t have said anything that night. “I don’t think she wants to see me anymore…”
“Maybe it’s closure,” Mayu said.
“No…” Miyuki shook her head. “I hurt her, she’ll need time before being able to talk about it”
Ever since the incident during rehearsal, the members were trying to be as supportive and considerate as possible. But, they can only do so much to help the situation. The staff is even trying, but their manager and producer obviously went for the more practical approach to the matter. The dance instructor has suddenly become lenient too, and that says a lot because she’s never lenient. She never shows emotions, apart from an angry face. But, recently she’s being giving sympathetic eyes to Sayaka and Miyuki. A rare sight that should be embraced if it was when times were normal and casual, however with all the tension no one could care less about embracing the instructor’s kindness.
“I think we both just need some time,” Miyuki stated. “Take a break from each other”
Mayu just looked at her good friend with a concerned expression.
“It’s what the manager told me, told us,” Miyuki continued.
“What do you mean?” Mayu asked. “I know there are plans of lessening your stages with each other though”
Miyuki just gave a faint smile and whispered, as if she was breathing out her words. “It’s being officially decided that I will be transferring to AKB’s Team B”
The waiting room fell quiet again as everyone wore shocked expressions of disbelief.
“No more NMB…” Miyuki said.
~
[Past]
“This cake is really good” Miyuki said as she happily took bites of the cake she ordered.
“Same” Sayaka said as she ate hers happily too. “This café’s quite good actually, we should come so often we get coupons”
“Ah, turning into Nana” Miyuki said.
“I’m just saying…”
Miyuki just giggled. “Hey, can I try some of yours?”
“Sure” Sayaka said as she pushed the plate over towards Miyuki a bit so it’s easier to reach.
“No”
“What?”
“Feed me”
Sayaka just sighed. “Ah, such a child” she said as she used the fork and cut a little piece off and fed it to the girl who sat opposite her. “Here”
Miyuki took the bite with a wide grin and nodded. “It’s good!” she exclaimed. “So sweet and spongy”
“Yeah, it is”
“Hey…” Miyuki began as she leaned in.
“What is it?”
“I like where I am now”
Sayaka cocked her head to the side. “What do you mean?”
“I mean, I’d like to be number one in senbatsu and all, and will aim for it. But, I wouldn’t mind it if things stayed the way it is right now” Miyuki explained. “I mean I like how you’re leading the group and how we’re all very close with each other and not drifting apart. Once people start getting temporary positions, solos, and placed in units and stuff like that. There’s more stress, which could lead to a lot of complication, right?”
Sayaka nodded at what Miyuki was trying to say. “Yeah… I guess”
“Then, complications could lead to lots of other things within the group and we could slowly drift apart without noticing. So, I like the way we are now” Miyuki ended with a smile. “I want to stay this way, but it’s not possible”
“Well, I’ll always be the leader and you’ll be our humble ace. And, we’ll help lead NMB together without all the complication then” Sayaka stated. “We can always try to keep the little things the same while moving forward”
“Then, you’ll have to be the leader forever and never graduate until your duty has being carried out successfully” Miyuki said.
“And, you’ll have to remain as a role model for the juniors to reach for and can’t graduate until you have carried everyone up with you” Sayaka said.
“Fine”
“Okay then”
Miyuki raised her hand and poked out her pinky. “Promise?”
Sayaka hooked her pinky with Miyuki’s and nodded firmly. “Promise…”
‘We whole-heartedly believed that we would be by each other’s side on stage forever…’~
[Present]
One drop.
Two Drops.
Three Drops.
Subconsciously, Sayaka began to quietly cry in the corridors of the TV station as her legs gave way and she slowly slid down onto the ground, with her back leaning on the cold wall. This is the first time she’s cried over someone, even after the understandable rejection. She never cried. She’d be mad, angry, frustrated, but never cried. It felt almost foreign to cry over something that’s supposedly banned. She knew the result, yet she did it anyways. It makes her so angry to think she actually did this to herself.
Honestly, she hated it. How she felt abandoned, how she felt useless, and how she felt like she should’ve just kept quite. Kept on lying to herself, and just denied for the rest of her life. Now, she can’t help but think that even if Miyuki accepted, she wouldn’t mind not knowing the whole time. She could’ve lived on acting oblivious and dense. But, the emotions slowly drove her insane and she just couldn’t handle it anymore. She couldn’t keep the lid shut, no matter how hard she tried and how much force she used. She should feel relieved, but she regrets it. Regrets everything she did, from the day she said ‘hi’ to Miyuki to the day she kissed her on the train, until now.
Why did she even think for a second that she had a chance? How stupid of her. She hates herself for changing, because her old self would’ve stuck to the rules. Her old self would’ve ignored the feelings and would’ve being rational. Her old self would’ve never fully, let the bubbly girl with a contagious smile, into her life. She would’ve kept her distance, because her old self would’ve known that she was going to fall in love and would’ve stopped before it reached her.
“Sayaka…?” a voice called softly.
Sayaka knew that voice better than anyone else. She stood up and started to walk away but was caught by the wrist. Wiping her tears, she turned around. “What?”
“I’m sorry” Miyuki said with sad eyes. “I didn’t mean to put you through all of this”
“Great, because you just did” Sayaka said. “You knew the whole time, and now you change your mind and decide not to love me back? Then, what was your purpose when you asked me back then? When you said I was a liar, what was all of that?”
“I do love you” Miyuki said. “I do, but Tanaka came along right after and my parents are expecting me to hang out with him a bit. Just to get to know each other”
“You could just say no” Sayaka stated within the heat of the moment. “You don’t have to listen to them”
Miyuki sighed. “Sayaka, they’re my parents. They raised me up all the way up until now, and allowed me chased my dreams. Allowed me to meet you” she held Sayaka’s hands. “I should at least act the part for a while before telling them otherwise, make it seem like I did consider their options and make them happy for once”
Sayaka nodded. “I know, I just…” she swallowed hard. “I just love you so much, when you said no, I felt like dying. Only for a split second though”
Miyuki smiled warmly. “I know. I love you too. Really, and I hated myself for saying no too. But, let’s be honest. The chance of our relationship lasting if we started is near impossible. Our society and culture has us bound, and our job,” she explained. “We just can’t at the moment, but I just want you to know. That I love you, and I’ve loved you this whole time, and that I’m sorry that we have to end without even beginning”
Miyuki leaned in and kissed Sayaka passionately.
That was their third kiss… and, their last.
~
“I knew it wasn’t anybody’s fault,
But, every time I think about it.
I feel like society is judging me,
And, that I will never be able to ‘I love you’ ever again”
~
Replies:@KristenJo : More trouble? Hm, maybe. And, will your wish come true? I wonder, why not judge through this chapter. I kid, they might end up together while going through some rough obstacles along the way.
@BbSis : Ah, right the Japanese title means: 'Why Did I Fall In Love With You?'. Sorry, for not having like a translated subtitle or something. I kept on forgetting, haha Some good things may happen to SayaMilky, my friend! Maybe...
@dirtydeeds : Oh, I'm so glad my writing isn't degrading. Lol. It's a fear of mine as a fanfic writer. And, I hope this chapter is still up to standard too
@Sieka : Drama, nah.... Drama comes after. Lol. When they're older. You'll see all the drama there~ Muhahaha! (Never used this emoticon before, I feel like I have stepped forward in life)...
@Sasshii : I'm glad you liked the ending, I was afraid someone would come a murder me for not twisting the manager's logic and keep them together. Lol, jks. But, hmmm, if I would love to be an idol then... Lol
@morkare : Sayanee has finally confessed. Indeed, and the manager has become the villain to all shippers. Haha
@yukofan : I love the early days of SayaMilky too~ So ideal... Well, the management may do some unpleasant things. But, fear not. The second part of Volume 1 has come to save us from our misery!
Topic: どうして君を好きになってしまったんだろう。 (SayaMilky): Ch. 6 (Read 18237 times)