CHAP 2
Kai POV
When you hear the word “marriage” what comes to your mind? Feast? Sex? Cake? Family?
I looked at myself in the mirror reflection in the bathroom. Young male figure with frowning face staring at me from the mirror behind. The man’s face look some miserable with eyelids and the skin dull due to work related stress suffered in recent months. The young man in the mirror it was Takahashi Kai, myself.
I complained as he put on me. This morning I felt unwell but what may make me have to keep teaching. A few more week midterms, I have to finish some of the subject matter before next week. If I may be honest I never thought that being a teacher would be busy. I smoothed my blond hair and sighed. Initially I chose to become a teacher is because I think being a teacher looks fun, at the time the student holiday, the teachers were able to vacation and relax. It’s not like that. I was naive, since I’ve always miscalculated and failed. Even before my friends often call me a loser. I know they are right. So far there is not good thing that happened to me, including the marriage.
I looked at the figure of the man in the mirror again, her face looks like want to cry this time, so pity.
Let me introduce the man in the mirror, his name is Kai, early age of twenty years, since the fall of last year he taught at a private secondary school in tokyo, has been married with his childhood playmates and about to become father.
Father....
I shook my head. Although i am a teacher and often surrounded by children, i can’t imagine myself as a father. I mean, I love children and I love to play with them, but playing with the kids and have a child are two different things.
I straightened my clothes once more before he left the bathroom. Since growing up I was always thinking about marriage and starting a family. Since childhood I have been orphaned because of that I crave a warm and happy family. I did want a family-wife and children-but not this way.
I’ve dated few time before this but everything always ends up in matter of months. I was never doing more than merely a kiss with the woman who became my girlfriend at the time, not because I put a moral or follow a particular religious stream, but because previously there was never a suitable opportunity to do so. When then the opportunity came, I never thought that it would do with my childhood friend, Maeda Atsuko.
I’m not someone who is conscientious and always be careful in doing something. Often i make mistake, but only this time i did a fatal error. Mistake this time, can only repair by doing other error.
When you hear the word “marriage” what’s in your head?
Honeymoon?
I wrinkled my forehead while up in the kitchen. My wife, who also wrinkled forehead looked at me with a look of dislike, every morning she would me with her dislike face and it makes me feel very upset. She always treated me like an enemy. As if all happened was my fault alone.
What she had never heard the proverb “it take two people to dance”?
Before all this happened, much earlier, we were both quite familiar. We used to play together. I still remember the first Atsuko often play pretending to be a princess. Even now, she is still entangled with her obsession to become princess. That is one reasons why she was so upset by the fact that she has to marry me, because I’m not a prince who wanted.
Princess?
Give me a break.
“Toast again?” I half muttered, pulling up a chair in front of me and sat down. Atsuko did not like to cook but every morning she always prepares of toast for me. If it does not like to do should she not bother to make breakfast for me. Somehow I feel annoyed stare bread was slightly charred.
I heard my wife sighed.
“Don’t talk to much,” she said curtly, she looked me in disgust, “This baby kept kicking my stomach when I’m going to cook something. Try to feel yourself how to cook with a baby in your belly. I’m not a kangaroo!”
Again, she used her pregnancy as a shield. Silly reasons.
“Don’t make a joke!” I said with a tone that is slightlly higher that that I actually I mean, “your pregnancy age just four months, which may be able to kick your womb? Do not fool biology teacher.”
This morning ritual begins again, as usual, Atsuko always insulting me and threw me rant. I know she hates me and blame me for all that has happened, but even though I knew I was wrong and I was a man in our relationship, I still couldn’t prevent her word hurt me. Everyday she would issued rant insulting my dignity as a man, and every morning I would go to work anyway in anger.
Today I kicked off our dinning table to end our debate. I went off to school with mixed feeling. Women are one that always knows how to hurt my pride as a man.
I walked slowly toward the station. I left fifteen minutes earlier than it should. All of this because again Atsuko start fight with me. Know since when the shoulder length hair young sweet girl who lives next door to my house it grows into selfish woman who casually.
FLASHBACK
“Marry me”
She looked at me in disbelief.
That day we were sitting in a cafe near the station. Her face was pale and her eyes were swollen. Her voice trembled as she said for the first time to me. I know that maybe my decision to ask her to marry was a bit rushed. We both did not kid anymore, but we are still young. Although we’ve grown, but we still do not know how to solve the problem like this. I know I should think it through, but this girl sitting in front of me with quivering lips and pale face. I couldn’t leave it alone.
“Atsuko,” I said again, “marry me.”
END FLASHBACK
This marriage was mistake but to kill the baby and get on with life as if nothing happened is a mistake that much larger. I always wanted a family and now despite the unpredictable was I get a family. A little difficult, but actually slowly I fix everything. The child has the right to be happy. Although I didn’t love each other and Atsuko but I’m sure our children will always abudant love of both parents.
When you hear the word “marriage” what’s in your mind?
Family?
I want a family, this maybe initiated from a mistake but i wanted to try to build a family with Atsuko. I mean what I intend this but somehow every time I opened my mouth to start a conversation, she always responded with harsh words. That make my ears hot. Maybe Atsuko didn’t want to form family with me, I can’t force it, but still it feels all too depressing.
Unconsciously I took a deep breath and exhale.
“Takahashi-sensei, are you okay?
I looked up and saw a girl with long straight brown hair standing in front of me and looked me without expression. The uniformed girl put a stack of notebook on my desk. I smiled at her.
“Thank you Kojima-san,” I smiles, I just remembered that earlier before the clock expires lesson I asked her to collect notebook classmates and bring it to my office, “You can go home now.”
Although I allow her to go, she still stood there and looked at me, eyes that seemed to be able to read everything in my mind a little scared me. This girl is very pretty and have good personality but some time she can guess my thoughts as it scares me.
“Sensei okay?”
I nodded, a student who worrying her teacher sounds very sweet, “Of course, don’t worry, Kojima-san, I was just daydreaming..”
Then for no reason that can understand her face suddenly flushed, “ All right, then,” she said as she hastily bent, “You’ll excuse me, sensei.”
Before i could reply she was already running to classes left. Actually there rules that prohibit students to run in the corridors but I just smiled to see it. A girl like Kojima Haruna that could be flushed without reason looks very sweet.
Suddenly I remembered young shoulder length hair girl and for some reason I feel annoyed. Atsuko’s beautiful face, it’s just a pity behavior is not at all sweet. I glance at my watch, it’s six o’clock, the school building was already almost empty, only few student who are still following the sport club or art activities. For several days I went drinking with colleagues of other teacher after teaching but unfortunately today after the other teachers at the same time have their own affairs so inevitably I had to go home early. I don’t really like to drink because I am who easy to drunk. This marriage also came from a drinking event, because I’ve learned a lot in order to keep from getting drunk. I don’t like to drink but I don’t like to go home early too. Actually I don’t like being at home. I don’t like to have a fight with Atsuko, she doesn’t just hurt me but also my self-esteem.
I and Atsuko sleep in separate room. Every time I go home at night, Atsuko had locked herself in her room and not come out again until morning. Each day we only met in the morning at dinner table. For a new bride, of course, our relationship is classified as very sad, but so be it.
I don’t have nowhere else to go so I decided to go home. The journey from the station to the hour takes 8 minutes but I chose around the garden first. As much as possible I don’t want to get home quickly.
Red sky and raven fly back to their nests in some trees in this park. I bought a canned coffee drinks vending machine and sit on a park bench. After finishing my coffee, I’m going straight to home, so my intentions.
On the front there is a sand play area children, a boy who was playing was picked up by his mother to go home. The boy was about five years ols. His hands ware covered by sand hold his mother’s hand all the way home. With cheerful he tells what he did earlier in the day of his mother.
I smiled at the sight. Soon I will have a child. I will see my son learn to walk, then teach him to ride a bike and on Sunday we will play ball or just walk to the park. Boys could definitely be invited to play football or baseball. Maybe I’ll take him fishing. But if a daughter, i’ll take her out and bought ice cream for her. Without realizing I had a big smile. I want a family.
I stared at the empty cans of coffee
Fisrt of all, I have to try to make peace with Atsuko.
With hesitation I reached into my pocket and pulled out my cell phone. I dialed our phone number and then press the call keys. My heart beating faster as i hear the dial tone.
“Moshi-moshi, Takahashi residence here.”
Hearing the voice of Atsuko somehow my courage and my resolve a little torn. What if she laugh at me? What if she actually yelled at? My hands I used to hold the phone began to sweating. I couldn’t speak.
“Moshi-moshi?”
Atsuko began impatient. I swallowed hard to moisten the dry throat. These action probably wrong but if I don’t try I’ll never know.
“Moshi-moshi?”
“Uh, hello.. Atsuko, it’s me.. I’m going to get home.. Why do not we have dinner at outside?”
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I'm new here. this is my very first fic. sorry for my bad english
Topic: bittersweet marriage (kai x acchan) chap 2 (Read 1654 times)