Am I really writing this? Yes, I think I am.
Thank you all for your responses, but maybe I shouldn't be encouraged to write this stuff... As if my angst isn't bad enough...
A Sorta Prequel
Mari sat across from Nono, staring at her unemotionally over her steaming mocha latte. The younger nervously took a sip of her herbal tea seeming unsure about the reason she had been called here and yet knowing exactly what was going to be said. News of Nono's impending marriage had spread like wildfire across the company and both knew that it was only a matter of time before the press got a hold of the information.
The two sat in a quiet corner booth of a small coffee shop, a typical place to meet your friends but maybe not the ideal place to have a serious conversation. The atmosphere had been tense since they had met up with each other, not even a formal greeting passed between them.
Nono wanted to speak and start the ball rolling, but common sense told her to wait and that any attempt at speech would only make her scolding worse. The anticipation was killing her, though, and Nono wasn't sure how long she could sit still, she'd been feeling sick all morning and it had taken four anti nausea pills and two showers to pull her from Takayasu's comfortable apartment. Now the pills were wearing off and that sickness was back.
Just as Nono was ready to charge to the nearest bathroom and pray to the porcelain gods, Mari spoke, "Is it my fault?"
Choking down a calming sip of tea, Nono raised an eyebrow at her old leader. She wasn't sure if she was allowed to talk yet, so she just waited for an elaboration.
"Mika was into some bad stuff before she left, did you know that?" No, Nono hadn't known that. "I introduced her to some friends of mine that were huge drug dealers and got Mika hooked on lots of things. She decided that the best way to quit was to leave the country. She used to call me sometimes, when the withdrawl got too bad, and cry over the phone." Mari paused to take a drink and let all this sink into Nono.
At a loss, the younger girl could only gape, the thought of the sweet Mini Moni member on hard core drugs was too alien to comprehend. Mari collected herself and started to speak again.
"I gave Ai her first cigarette when she was 15. New Year's of 2004. I gave her her first taste of alcohol too, that night, but I also did the same for you. What you didn't know about was the cigarette I helped her light up later. The two of us also went to Soma a lot and I knew Ishimoto personally. And now, this whole thing with you and Sugiura. I'm a little concerned." Mari narrowed her eyes but Nono couldn't tell whom she was mad at. Maybe she was beating herself up inside?
The two were silent for a long moment, as Nono comtemplated her next words carefully. She knew that she had to explain everything in a way that would get Mari to stop doubting herself and also give her kouhai a little more credit than she usually did.
"Is it your fault?" Nono repeated slowly, rolling the meaning of the question over and over again in her mind. "Yes, and no. You gave us all opportunity but ultimately, we are our own people. I am my own person." She tried not to speak for Aibon and Mika. "Mika is an adult and always very mature in her decisions. She made a bad choice and fell into a world that she shouldn't have, but she managed to pull herself. Maybe she's a better person for her experiences. Maybe not, but you can't say she didn't learn something."
Nono took a long drink of tea, quelling her nausea for the moment, "Aibon is happy, she told me so herself. And if she's not happy, then she thinks she is and that's good enough for me. We've also spoken about her little habit and she understands the effects it could have on her body. She says that it doesn't matter in the long run if she gets lung cancer and dies, and maybe it's a little morbid but I agree that in the grand scheme of things the indivual doesn't really matter. But that's a whole other discussion."
"Ishimoto-san makes her happy, for now, even without the absolute promise of family. She understands that she's second banana and that the relationship might not last forever, but she also wanted a way out of the idol life and he was her ticket. It was just another one of her ingenious pranks and this time, UFA was her target. Maybe not the most mature way to get her point across, but there's no going back now."
Sighing, Nono took a second to calm her mind, "And as for Taka and I, I have never been happier. Like Aibon, I realized that there are more important things than my career and I am going to seize my chances at happiness. We've been together for a year and I'm going to go through with the marriage, whether anyone likes it or not. I regret letting my two remaining fans down, but I can't be the innocent Idol anymore. I need a life and I need a family of my own." Nono stumbled on her next words, the big confession that she wanted to get out into the open.
Luckily, Mari rescued her from having to just announce it, "We're your family, Non. Your thousands of fans are your family and they won't just abandon you. We won't just abandon you." Mari gave her an intense look, "I won't just abandon you."
"Are you so sure? If I don't live up to a standard, my so called fans will turn on me and rip me to shreds. Just like they did on Aibon." Nono sorely hoped that what Mari was saying was true. She wanted to believe that she had someone constantly in her corner, but...
"Yes, I'm sure. Just call off the marriage and come back to the business." Mari pleaded, actually clasping her hands together in front of her.
"I can't do that. I want to go through with this now more than ever. And so does he." Nono fought back the nausea and ignored the churning in her belly. It was almost time to reveal the biggest secret.
"Why!?" Mari burst out, "Why can't you forget about him and come back to us?" Nono took in a deep breath, presented with the opportunity she'd been waiting for and not about to let it go.
"Because I'm having his child."
Mari was completely stunned. She froze mid breath and stared blankly at Nono's lips, hoping that those words didn't just emerge from them. When she finally did get back mobilty, the first thing Mari did was breath, a single word escaping into the air, "What?"
"I'm pregnant, Mari. I'm going to be a mother." Nono felt bile rise in her throat and swallowed hard past the lump that had formed. Unwillingly, tears sprang up in the corners of her eyes and Nono knew that she had lost one of the most important people on her side of the ring. There was no turning back now, was there?
The words still ringing in her ears, Mari slid out of the booth and walked out of the coffee shop, leaving her now cold mocha latte there to keep a weeping Nono company.
---Holy crap. How do I manage to find the time to do this stuff when I can't even sit down and finish my main stories?