5. (berimona) Thoughts
"How may blue skies have been there?"
Rika turned her face around, puzzled. She could see Nanako sitting beside her, arms stretched as if she's trying to measure something up above, except there were no stars present. It's just a clear sky up above, filled with floating clouds on a bright summer day. Rika wasn't sure how to answer such question, after all she never really give it a thought. Doesn't really matter anyway, even if there were billions of them before the one she saw today; it wouldn't change anything.
"I don't know." She said without even trying. She shifted her gaze back to her phone, scrolling through her feeds like the usual. Nanako looked back at her, wasn't really impressed by Rika's short answer.
"Do you think it could be billions?"
"Maybe."
Pointless. All of it were pointless.
"Why do you even ask that?" Rika said again.
"I was thinking, which sky will I see later on the day I died."
It wasn't a strange thing to be honest, she knew Nanako too well to expect such question coming from her mouth. People around here were just like that, sad and gloomy. Quiet and stoic, nothing much you can expect when you lived in such a small town. Feels like people are just doomed to feel such. Everyday feels like a repeated routine of people being angry and frustrated. The phrase "I just want to die!" or "The adults just don't get what I want!" is something she would hear almost every day. Maybe everyone feels like that deep inside, hidden angst and dissatisfaction. The feeling of wanting to break out from their own prison yet they were always fall on the silent majority side; doing nothing even when teachers were trying their best to make the situation at least a bit better for them.
"Probably a black one."
She could hear a cold voice coming from behind, it was one she knew far too well. Mona was already behind her, chewing her gum with her headphones hanging on her neck.
"Really?" Nanako said again, gazing to the bluish sky up above through the class's windows.
"I guess. Can't wait to see one regardless." Mona said, gum popped right after she said that.
When will it stop?
Rika sighed, this talk would never end anyway. Once again people of this place didn't know and didn't want to smile. To be perfectly honest, Rika was also not the cheery type. She wasn't a sun who could knock a person's heart, bringing them joy as she did so. She couldn't open the door of opportunity for anyone else nor she could grab a chance even for the good of herself. She belonged here, on the flock of people who favor constant discord between themselves and the society as whole. People who claimed to be the outcasts, who were proud to called themselves eccentric.
"Have you guys..."
"Yes?" both of Mona and Nanako turned their face to her, listening. Rika wasn't really sure but she just wanted to get it out of her chest, simply to make it less hurtful.
"...ever think about how beautiful life is?" she said and it earned her a surprised look.
"Life? Life is beautiful? what a joke." Mona said, slamming her hand to the nearest table. "It's just a constant suffering."
"Probably, yeah." Rika said softly.
"Come on Rika, time to go home." Mona said, offering her hand to the sitting girl. She nodded and quickly put her things on her small bag. Nanako waved goodbye at her the time Mona had walked towards the classroom door.
Since when it got so gloomy.
It wasn't like Rika didn't want to be a strong person, a bright one who always cheer everyone up with smile and positive vibes instead of constantly following the gloomy mood of the people she knows. She wanted someone to say that her name means hope, something that will keep them going through their rainy days.
"Ah..."
"Hmm?"
Mona stopped, noticing the sky had gotten so grey and thunder begin rolling on the other part of the town. They could see it clearly; the sky had turned darker than it was about ten minutes ago.
"Do you have an umbrella with you?" Rika said, searching her bag for one also. Mona shook her head, she didn't have one after all.
"Shall we wait?" Rika said, putting her hands on her back. The rain poured heavily as if it didn't want to stop soon. Or was it really like that? Was this one gonna last long or it was just gonna last for some minutes, and then after that a bright clear blue sky will showed up once again. Who knows, Rika wasn't a god.
"I hope it cleared up really soon." She said, humming.
"Why? I thought everyone loves rain." Mona said again, puzzled.
"It's sad. I don't like it."
"What do you mean you don't like something sad? You do."
Rika sighed. Probably Mona's right, she belonged on this part of the town after all.
"You're right. Sorry."
"Are you okay?" Mona asked her.
"When will we ever be okay anyway." she chuckled. "I guess."
"Just give up being something you're not anyway, everyone's the same with you. Don't have to be worried."
"I'm just--"
The rain continued to pour.
"The flowers of the summer isn't only sun flowers. You don't have to be one if you can't."
"I want to be one." Rika said, stuttered. She wanted it, she wanted to be the light instead of the dark. She wanted to be someone's sun; hell be it a sun flower too.
"What else that I have to be then? Is it wrong to have such wish? To be as bright as a goddamn sun flower?!" She said again, frustrated.
"We are just not one! We are outcasts, we're different! Stop acting like you're not!"
"I guess..." Rika said, between her fast breathing, between the pouring rain. And then it just came from the corner of her eyes, a small puddle of water. It's glimmering from the small ray of the sun that managed to fight its way through the thick dark grey clouds above. She hoped it would appear there, a reflection of herself she aspired to be. A mirage; tho she knew it was impossible during a pouring rain like this.
Mona moved towards her, holding Rika's hand without even saying a thing. It seemed like the right thing to do, she probably would've thought that.
"Would you consider my name as a hope?" She said, leaning her head towards Mona's shoulder.
"I don't believe in hope." She said, chuckling.
"If you were to believe, that is."
Mona smiled, "I guess. You seemed like one."
"Why are you like this? Why's everyone like this?" Rika said again, for the first time in a while she questioned it. She thought it was always been an unspoken rule to not ask about other people's past, or things that had molded them into a such sad human being.
"Who knows. Probably everyone was just having it rough, or maybe someone told them to be like that. I guess we just don't have room to be something else." Mona said, eyes looking up towards the sky. Still dark, no sign of the rain to stop anytime soon.
"If you were to given the opportunity to be something else, would you take it?"
Mona paused and then smiled. "I rejected one two years ago. I'm pleased to be the way I am now."
Aah, so that's how it is for her.
"Do you not like the way I am now?" Mona asked her softly to her surprised. Rika didn't think like that of her of course, Mona was always her loved one. Her dearest one.
"I like you just fine."
"Too bad, I like you a lot tho." She said again, laughing. Something you'd rarely see.
"Funny, I never thought you'd be the one who's gonna say that."
"Am I not allowed to express my love for you?"
"Is that even a common thing to say for the likes of you? Go back being sad and gloomy like you always do." Rika said again.
"Fine." Mona pouted, folding her arms.
"I was just kidding."
"Whatever."
Rika gave her a small peck on her cheek, and this time the rain stopped pouring.
Topic: (Keyakizaka46) wafflekyun's short OS (Read 13537 times)