So, real talk: has anyone struggled in their dating life because of this fetish? I personally have. I've been told I'm very good looking several times , and I've had occasional luck with girls out of my "league", but I've always struggled to develop a real relationship and a lot of it has to do with being too upfront about this fetish. Has anyone experienced this? I find it's a bigger problem with online dating (which is unfortunately the only way people seem to really date lately). Part of me being too upfront is because i want to know if they have that feature (since you can't always tell). The other part is seeing if they're ok with me being into it. I know that the sensible thing to do is wait a few dates to disclose but I just have such a hard time resisting. Can anyone else relate??
Try not to approach it too quickly. First time I felt like I approached it too soon, it made for a really awkward moment and it didn't help that I actually felt like I was letting out a terrible secret when I tried to explain it. (I'm guessing this is common for people with any kind of fetish, rare or common, and not only for guys either.)
The times I made it actually work, I only brought it up when she was already telling me what she liked. Obviously getting to that in the first place will be hit and miss (but at least more likely if she's actually interested anyway or you wouldn't have a chance in the first place), and it can't universally work with everyone of course, but keeping it more on it being about her, and what she likes first, then it also makes it less weird when she inevitably asks you back (especially if what really does it for her is also not super common or at least not typical.)
And, of course, overall timing... Even the most typical and accepted fetish in the world would probably come across terrible if it was sprung up in a way that doesn't feel right for it. (Not accusing you of that necessarily... Just coming from someone who really found ways to make things of all kinds awkward as hell with bad timing in high school before even a first date.)
As for the whether they have it... that's a more challenging thing for basically every fetish, really, and it can be a bit worse if you know she does have it before she finds you completely irresistible... just don't feel too guilty about it if you catch yourself feeling like you do. Honestly, there might be a physical feature of yours that she hasn't seen either and may be a make or break for her but also wouldn't admit to it, physical or otherwise. I dated a girl I met in person who tried to see if I had a sixpack in a less-than-subtle way that involved wanting to see a scar I had and looking obviously eager the moment before I lifted my shirt. Not recommending this tactic for anyone especially a guy on a first date obviously, and also wouldn't expect something like that happening to be the setup for your chance to find out.
Short of that, just be patient and treat it like any other thing about a girl that you like/dislike to a lesser degree. More than half of those other things probably aren't something you can tell before a first date in person so this could just be one of those.
And yeah, I can definitely relate. It's hard because it always feels like it's a bigger deal than it should be, and doesn't sound "normal", and first few times didn't end well either.
Topic: Themed Idols: Spine Fetish (Read 85583 times)