Minna-san, domo~~~
First of all... I'M SO SO SORRY!!! Really I am... you guys can't imagine how many times I've felt bad about not updating... but yeah, either I didn't get to write or that evil little thing called writer's block got me again -.- It loves to hit me, huh? *punches writer's block* HOW DARE YOU?! *clears throat* Anyway... I'm happy to finally update another chapter of my story! This chapter is the longest I've written so far! Honestly, I was surprised myself
I've tried my best to make it easy for you guys to read it so I hope you don't mind a long chapter!
So now... thanks for all your patience!! Take this as my valentine's gift to all of you~
otsu-Kame~~
SPECIAL NOTE: I want to thank my beloved imouto-chan strawb3rrykream for all of her help! Without her I wouldn't have been able to work out some problems and writing blockades I've had with this chapter!! strawb3rry, you're the best friend I can wish for! I'm so proud of you and I'm really happy to have you as a friend! Thank you so much for everything!!! Love you a lot <3
NOTE: Sorry for possible grammar/spelling mistakes
Chapter 10 – Oblivious to the obvious„Mom, I'm home~“, I called into the hallway as I closed the door behind me and took off my shoes.
„Reina~“, my mom greeted and approached me with a huge grin.
„Oh god... not that again...“
„What?“
„I know that grin, mom... forget it, I won't tell you anything about what happened at Eri's place.“
„Ehh~? Why would you think I'd ask you something like that?“
„As I said... I know you“, I replied and passed her by, heading straight for the stairs.
„Can't a mom be happy that her child's back?“
„Sure you can... but that won't help you to get any informations.“
„Aww, come on, Reina! Tell me at least how she lives.“
„Like every normal person does?“, I said, already taking the first steps upstairs.
„Yeah but... how does it look like?“
„Four walls, a bunch of windows and doors, stairs... a house. I'm going to take a shower.“
„Okay... would you like to eat anything?“
„No, thanks... Eri and I will go out and eat together.“
„Really now?“, my mom asked, obviously smirking, I could hear it in the tone of her voice.
„Oh, mom...“, I sighed, „why are you always making such a big deal out of it?“
„Because it's obvious that Eri wants to get to know you better and it shows that she's interested in you~“
„We're friends, mom... that's normal...“
„It starts with being friends and ends up with being lovers~“, my mom giggled.
„Yeah... as if that would happen... sometimes you're just way
too optimistic“, I said and disappeared in the bathroom.
I sighed and leaned back against the door. God, sometimes I wished I was... as optimistic as mom was. She always saw the best in everything. No matter how bad things looked, she would always find something to make everyone else cheer up. Just like how it was back then when I had my coming-out and my dad didn't talk to or look at me at all. It really had been hurting me and I began to doubt my decision of telling them about my preferences. That was when mom was talking to me, saying that dad would just need a little time to progress my coming out and assured me that he still loved me. Hearing my mom saying that helped a lot. It made my heart ache less and in the end it turned out the way she told me.
Maybe I should listen to mom more often... especially when it came to Eri. What if mom was right? I mean... Eri said that she enjoyed sleeping in my arms and snuggled even closer to me. I could feel a smile pulling at the corners of my mouth as I thought about what happened just a few hours ago. It was such a good feeling to wake up with Eri in my arms... to feel her warmth, to listen to her even breathing. I could wake up like that every day! Just looking into Eri's face while she's still asleep... would already make my day. I let my mind wander a little, thinking about Eri, feeling my heart beating faster.
You just can't deny it anymore, Reina... you're head over heels in love with her...I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. There wasn't a single moment I didn't think about Eri. My thoughts were revolving around her, even when I was asleep I was dreaming about her. For example the dream I had last night... it was about us... and we've been sharing our first kiss. God, I still remember how my stomach was tingling after I woke up... but that was destroyed by the time I looked onto my cellphone to check the time. If I was thinking about it... I had been actually very close to make the dream become reality. I've been so close... so close to taste her more than alluring lips. As if something bit me I quickly threw off my clothes and jumped into the shower, turning it on. I seriously needed to cool down!
„KYAAAAAA!!! COOOOOOLD!!!!“
~~~ ~~~
A few days had passed and I've been enjoying every single one. Eri and I spent every day together. Most of the time we've been in the park, eating ice cream, playing shiritori or simply laid in the shade of a tree, enjoying the nice breeze that carried the typical summery scent. Long story short... the two of us had been having a very good time. I also really liked how much Eri had been laughing these days. Her laugh was... beautiful. Whenever I heard her laughing, I could feel a wave of happiness washing over me. Not to mention that it was very contagious.
I smiled at the memories I've made the recent days in the park as I sat in the kitchen, drinking a cup of tea. I looked over at the clock hanging on the wall and sighed when I saw that Eri was supposed to call me fifteen minutes ago. We've been exchanging phone numbers so Eri could call me whenever she was about to leave her place so I knew when I had to go as well. Eri's cellphone was another device that fascinated me. It was specially made for people who had lost their eyesight. It reacted to her voice so whenever she wanted to call someone, she just had to say the name and the cellphone automatically dialed the number of the person in her contacts list. The same thing went for her text messages. Whenever she received one, the cellphone was reading it to her and if she wanted to reply, the cellphone typed down everything she said and sent the message on her command.
„Are you waiting for something?“, my mom asked as she walked into the kitchen.
„God, MOM! Stop sneaking up on me like that!“
„I didn't sneak up onto you, Reina... it's not my fault that you're constantly in thoughts~“, she said and giggled.
„I'm not
constantly in thoughts...“
„But most of the times~ So... what are you waiting for?“
„I'm waiting for Eri to call me... she was supposed to call me a little while ago.“
„Oh~ Are you going out again?“
„Yeah...“
„Where will you go today?“
„I don't know, that's why I'm waiting for Eri's call.“
„I see... so you two always decide where to go before you meet?“
„Yes.“
Suddenly my cellphone vibrated on the table, causing me to jump a little. I quickly grabbed it and a grin formed on my lips.
„It's Eri!“, I solemnly said and picked up the phone, „hello?“
„Reina~ Hi~ S-sorry I'm calling a little late...“
„It's okay... don't worry about it.“
„Reina, listen... I don't think today would be a good day to be outside...“
„What? Why?“
„I've been listening to the radio and the weather forecast said that it's going to rain soon.“
„O-oh... yeah, it wouldn't be good to be in the park then...“
„D-do you... have any other ideas? I really... want to meet you...“
„W-well... how about we... MOM! Stop poking me!“
„Your mom's poking you?“, Eri giggled.
„Yeah...“
„Why is she doing that?“
„I have no idea... hold on a second, Eri.“
„Okay.“
I lowered my cellphone and put my hand over it, so Eri couldn't hear me talking.
„Mom, what the hell?!“, I hissed.
„Sorry but... I couldn't help to overhear your conversation.“
„More like eavesdropping...“
„Well... why don't you ask Eri... if she wants to visit us? Then I'd... finally get to know her too.“
„Mom... I don't think it's a good idea...“
„Why not? In that way you two could meet anyway.“
„You know how it is whenever I have another girl with me! Either it's you bumping constantly against my door with the vacuum cleaner or my brother knocking every five minutes.“
„I promise I'm done with vacuum cleaning for today and your brother's not at home! He's at his friend's place.“
„And what if she doesn't want it?“
„You didn't even ask her yet!“
„Fine...“, I sighed and removed my hand, putting my phone back onto my ear, „Eri?“
„Yes?“
„Sorry about that...“
„It's okay.“
„Eri... h-how about... you coming to my place?“
„W-would it be okay?“
„Of course... that means... if you want to come here.“
„I would love to, Reina“, she said, the tone of her voice gave away that she was smiling.
„G-great! I'm going to pick you up in about... let's say an hour, okay?“
„Alright, but don't get into a rush.“
„Don't worry, I won't.“
„Good... I'm waiting for you, Reina.“
„Bye, Eri.“
„Bye~“
I hung up and stared at my phone.
„See, Reina? Didn't that go well?“
„Y-yeah...“
„Awwww, come on! Let me hug you!“, mom squealed and immediately pulled me into a bear hug.
„M-mom! T-too tight!“
„Oh, sorry“, she giggled.
„What the hell was that for?“, I asked and straigthened my shirt.
„I'm just soooo happy!“
„Uh... o...kay...“
„My little daughter has a date~“
„First of all... I'm not so little anymore, mom and second... please...
please... don't do anything stupid, okay?“
„Who do you think I am? The world's biggest idiot? Don't forget that you're coming after me, Reina.“
„I'm just saying... that I don't want any interruptions...“
„It's not like you're going to make out with her...“
„M-MOM!“, I exclaimed, blushing deeply, „y-you know what I mean!“
„Yeah, yeah I got it... I'm not going to say or do anything that'll embarrass you.“
„Thank you!“
„But... I do get to know her, right? Or is it too embarrassing for you that I'm your mom?“
„Mom... you know it's not like that! Just sometimes you're making... things worse by doing silly things...“
„Like?“
„Like intimidating people by the amount of your questions you ask them.“
„But I wanna know who the people are my daughter is hanging out with.“
„Don't worry, mom... Eri is... you'll like her, I'm sure about that“, I said and smiled.
„I'm really excited now... I wonder how she looks like.“
„There are no words to describe how amazing she looks.“
„Reina~ You should hear yourself talking. You really are head over heels in love with her, aren't you?“
„W-well, I should get ready now...“, I said and got up, obviously avoiding a reply.
„I think what you wear right now is fine. Besides... I think Eri will like everything you're wearing~ All that counts for her is that she'll see you.“
I stopped in mid-step and gulped. God, I totally forgot to tell mom about that... I've never mentioned anything about Eri's blindness. I guess now was the right time to tell her the last thing my mom didn't know about Eri.
„Mom...“, I quietly said, turning around to face her, „there's something I gotta tell you...“
„What is it? Eri and you are already a couple and you didn't tell me?“
„N-no... it's something... serious.“
„Okay, Reina... what did you do?“
„I did nothing! It has nothing to do with me at all!“
„What is it then?“
„Mom, Eri...“
„What's with her?“
„I think... it's the best if you know about it... before I'm coming back here with her...“
„Damn, Reina! Don't build up the suspense!“
„Mom... Eri is... blind.“
„B-blind?“
„Yes... she lost her eyesight when she was fourteen due to a car accident.“
„Oh my... that's... oh god, I'm so sorry...“
„That's the reason... why she fascinates me even more. She's been living six years all alone with that... and she still can smile and enjoy her life.“
„Ahhh~ You like strong girls with willpower, don't you~?“
„Mom... please...“
„S-sorry...“
„When Eri is here... act normal, okay? She gets uncomfortable if she senses you're tensed or try too hard to not talk about her eyesight. Eri wants to be treated like every other person... and most importantly... don't feel sorry for her, she doesn't like that. She learned how to handle and live with the loss of her eyesight.“
„Alright... got it.“
I smiled and looked at the clock.
„Okay, I should really get ready... I gotta leave soon.“
My mom simply nodded, obviously still trying to take in what I've said just now. As I took the stairs up to my room, I suddenly started to wonder if it was okay to have Eri coming here right after I told mom about Eri being blind. She probably felt the same now like I did when I first met Eri. Awkward and maybe even insecure. Well, I've been very insecure how to act when I got to spend time with her for the first time. Then again... mom was different. She always knew what to do and how to handle things better than me. Maybe it turned out better than I was expecting right now.
~~~ ~~~
Eri and I already had been talking a lot on the way to my place. Even though we've been spending each day together ever since my summer vacation started, we still didn't run out of topics we could talk about. With each conversation we shared, I got to know Eri more and more and the more I knew about her... the more interesting she became to me. She even told me about the dream she had ever since she started playing the piano. One day, she wanted to play in front of an audience just to let the people enjoy her music. I didn't understand why Eri called it a silly dream. To me it sounded... kinda cute. It was something possible. It wasn't like Eri was dreaming about becoming a famous pianist. Though I had to say that I could even imagine something like that since she was an exceptionally gifted pianist.
All the way to my place, I hadn't been feeling the slightest hint of uneasiness. But now as we stood in front of the door, I suddenly became nervous again. My hand was shaking a little as I roamed around in my purse, searching for the keys. God, hopefully this hadn't been a stupid idea to invite Eri. I just could hope that everything would turn out well and that my mom remembered what I've told her about the things she shouldn't do when Eri was around.
Relax, Reina... you're worrying too much!I took a deep breath and unlocked the door, carefully pushing it open.
„W-well... come in, Eri...“, I shyly said.
„Could you... take my hand and guide me?“
„Yeah, sure...“, I replied and gently took her hand into mine.
My stomach tingled as I could feel Eri lacing her fingers through mine, tightly holding onto my hand. I slowly guided her through the hallway, carefully watching every step she took. I didn't want her to bump into anything but Eri surprised me again. Even though she didn't know the house yet, she moved in a smooth way just like she did in her own house. That girl never failed to fascinate me over and over again. She seemed to get used to the new environment quickly.
„Uh... okay, here we are...“
„This is the hallway, right?“
„Yeah.“
„So I'm guessing... the kitchen is to the left.“
„Yes... that's right... h-how did you know?“
„Well~“, Eri giggled, „the scent of tea and freshly baked cake is lingering in the air... it's almost gone if I turn my head right so... it's obvious that the kitchen must be on the left.“
„Eri, you're simply amazing.“
„I should think about a career as a tracking dog, shouldn't I?“, she said and giggled.
„I'm happy that you're a human, Eri.“
„I am too... in that way I'm able to talk to you...“
„Eri...“
I could feel myself blushing at Eri's remark. God, why did she have to be so... cute?
„Reina? Is that you?“
„Y-yes, mom... it's me...“
„Oh~ I thought your brother just came back home.“
„No, luckily he didn't.“
„Reina~ That's not a nice thing to say about your brother“, my mom said and slowly approached us, stopping in mid-step as she saw Eri, „oh~ You brought someone with you~“
„Mom... stop that! You knew I was going to pick her up...“
„Ah, right... now I remember“, she said and laughed, „now, don't you want to introduce that lovely young woman to me?“
„I-I'm Kamei Eri... nice to meet you, Tanaka-san“, Eri greeted and turned into my mom's direction, bowing politely.
„Nice to meet you too, Eri-chan. Finally I get to meet the girl my daughter kept telling me about.“
„S-she did?“, Eri asked, blinking a few times.
„Yes, she did~“
„Mom...“, I growled, shooting her a warning gaze.
„U-uh... Eri-chan, would you like to have tea? I just prepared some.“
„I-if it's not troubling you too much, I'd love to.“
„No, it's fine~ Don't worry. Reina, would you like some too?“
„Yes, please...“
„Alright! Why don't you join me into the kitchen?“
„Sure...“, I replied, „come on, Eri.“
I slowly guided Eri into the kitchen, keeping her as close as possible. Carefully I pulled out a chair and helped Eri to sit down, slightly pushing the chair closer to the table.
„Thank you, Reina.“
„Don't mention it“, I replied and sat down next to her.
„There you go~“, mom chirped and set down two cups of tea.
„Thanks, mom... would you like to have some sugar or honey, Eri?“, I asked the girl next to me.
„Sugar is just fine, thank you.“
„Alright,“ I said and added two cubes of sugar into Eri's tea, knowing from the times we've been drinking tea together that Eri liked her tea in that way.
„Awww, you two are so cute together~“, my mom noted, grinning.
„MOM! Be quiet!“
„You were totally right, Reina. Eri
is a cutie~“
„W-what?“
„Mom! Not now!“
„But you said that! I remember how you told me about the dream you had about...“
„MOM!“, I exclaimed and instantly jumped up, covering my mom's mouth with my hand.
„W-what's going on here?“, Eri asked, confusion crossed her face.
„N-nothing, Eri... don't worry... e-enjoy your tea, I... gotta do something real quick, okay?“
„O-okay...“
„I promise I'll be back in a minute.“
„Take your time, Reina.“
„It won't take too long“, I said and grabbed my mom's wrist, dragging her into the living room, glaring at her.
„What? Don't look at me like that.“
„Oh yes, I will! Mom, are you crazy?!“
„Eh?! Why?!“
„You can't tell Eri about things like that!“
„Why not? I thought it would be good to see how she reacts to that. You know... to find out if she gets interested.“
„Interested?“, I repeated and frowned.
„Yeah! We'd be able to read the signs due to her reaction...“
„The only sign that
Eri will be able to read is how I feel about her!“
„Isn't that what you want?“
„No! I don't want to go on her like a bull on a gate! I want to be careful! And the last thing I want is scaring her like hell... in the end she'll break the friendship and everything's over!“
„O-oh...“
„Also you promised me to not say or do anything that would embarrass me!“
„S-sorry... I guess I got carried away... maybe I should just leave the two of you alone.“
„Mom... it's fine you're staying with us... but please... be more careful with what you say, okay?“
„Okay, I will.“
„Thank you...“, I replied.
„Reina?“
„Hm?“
„Eri really is... a very beautiful girl. I totally understand why you fell for her.“
„Come on, Eri is waiting“, I said, trying to hide the blush as I walked back into the kitchen.
~~~ ~~~
A few hours already had passed and we were still sitting in the kitchen. After plenty cups of tea and a few pieces of mom's delicious cake, I was happy to just lean back against the chair, listening to the conversation my mom and Eri had. Mom had been telling Eri about the one time she met that famous pianist and how she went to one of his concerts because he asked her to come. Eri obviously knew that pianist as well since she got all excited ever since mom had been mentioning him. Eri's behavior made me smile and it also made me wonder how a single person could be so damn cute. To be honest, I wasn't really interested in the story. The only thing I really payed attention to was Eri's voice whenever she replied to something mom asked her or if she agreed. Also I was really proud of my mom. Till now she hadn't been asking Eri any embarrassing questions or made silly remarks.
Seems like she finally gave up... thank god!„Wow, Tanaka-san... you're so lucky you got to listen to him live“, Eri said.
„It really was something! Though I had a hard time to convince Reina's father to go with me“, mom replied and giggled.
„You kept annoying him for a week, mom...“, I noted.
„So? I just wanted him to be with me, that's all. Even though he didn't want to join me first, he was happy that he did go in the end.“
„Thanks to your persuasion.“
„So~ Eri-chan~“
„Yes?“
„Can I ask you something?“
„Sure, Tanaka-san.“
„The first song you've ever played on the piano... what was it?“
„Hmmm... I can't remember anymore... sorry.“
„Don't worry. It's okay. Ah~ I'm so envious~“
„Eh? Why?“, Eri asked.
„According to Reina, you're playing the piano very well.“
„N-not that well... I just... love to play it.“
„I'm sure your boyfriend gets to listen to you playing the piano very often... he's so lucky.“
„I...“, Eri stammered and blushed.
Now I wasn't so relaxed anymore. I literally jumped at my mom for this remark. Seemed like she completely forgot about her promise and what I've been telling her before. God... MOM!!
„Is he a good listener?“
„Mom! Stop it!“, I growled, „you're making her feel embarrassed!“
„What? It's just something I wanted to point out.“
„A pretty
personal thing to point out!“, I snapped and glared at her.
„Are you playing for him often, Eri-chan?“
„MOM!!“
„It's okay, Reina...“, Eri quietly said, her cheeks flushed.
„See? Eri is fine with it“, mom said and flashed me a triumphant smile.
„Fine...“, I grumbled and leaned back onto the chair.
„So... how is your boyfriend?“, mom asked the girl next to me.
„I... I don't have a boyfriend...“
„Oh... really?“, mom said and looked at me, wiggling her eyebrows.
I gestured my mom to be quiet, holding my index finger over my lips and shot her a warning gaze. Of course... I was kinda curious about what Eri had to say to that topic... but then again, it was so not good how my mom was asking her all those personal questions straight away.
„Yes, really... I don't have a boyfriend, Tanaka-san.“
„How come? I mean... you're a very attractive young woman. How can guys resist you?“, mom asked, completely ignoring me.
„AH, ERI!“, I exclaimed, causing the girl to jump.
„Y-yes?“
„Uhhh... didn't we... think about taking a walk?“
„Did we?“, she asked, frowning as she turned her head into my direction.
„I... uh... actually... I just thought about it. It would be nice to get some fresh air.“
„But you two just arrived!“, my mom whined, obviously not wanting to give in and continue with her interrogation of Eri's private life, „and also it's still raining.“
„It's been hours since we arrived, mom! And the rain stopped an hour ago! So... would you like to go, Eri?“
„I'd love to take a walk with you, Reina. Just let me finish the tea“, Eri said and took a sip.
„Okay, sure“, I replied and sat back down.
„But...“, Eri began.
„But what?“
„To reply to your question, Tanaka-san... till now there wasn't anyone who caught my attention.“
„I see...“, my mom said.
„Things changed though... and someone stepped into my life... someone who is very important to me... and... w-well... currently I'm in love...“, Eri quietly said and blushed.
I looked at her and for some reason I suddenly felt something break inside me. Eri was in love? With who? She never had been mentioning someone. Okay, it's not said that she would tell me everything but still...
Great! That's it! Reina, you've failed once again!Why did I always have to choose the ones I could never have? A flash of anger rushed through me and my body trembled as I clenched my hands to fists, realizing my foolishness. I've put my hopes up too high and that was what I got for that. Disappointment.
I'm just not made for love...~~~ ~~~
It was already dark as Eri and I walked through the park. Since we left my place, none of us had been saying a single word. I really had no idea about what I could talk about. My mind was clouded, Eri's words were still ringing clearly in my ears. The more I thought about it, the more I could feel that painful sting in my heart. My stomach cramped and a slight hint of sadness took me over. I should've known... of course a girl like Eri would have lots of admirers. I couldn't blame the guys for liking her though... yet I was envious of the guy that received that kind of affection from Eri. I sighed deeply, staring onto the ground.
„Reina?“, Eri said, her soft voice pulled me back to reality.
„H-hm?!“
„Is everything okay?“
„Y-yeah... why?“
„You didn't say a single thing since a while...“
„It's nothing“, I lied.
„Really?“
„Yeah... what gives you the idea that something's wrong?“
„W-well... I just have a feeling...“
„Then... your feeling deceives you.“
„Reina...“
„Really, Eri. I'm okay.“
„If you say so...“
„I do... and now come on“, I said and started to walk... in a much faster pace than usual.
„R-Reina... not so fast!“, Eri begged.
I didn't really listen to her. I just kept dragging that poor blind girl along. For some reason her asking me if everything's alright caused anger and frustration to well up inside me again.
„Reina, please... slow down!“
„. . .“
„REINA!!“, Eri yelled and abruptly stopped in mid-step, her hands wrapped firmly around my wrist as she used strength to make me stop walking.
„WHAT?!“, I snapped back at her... regretting it right in the next moment, „E-Eri, I...“
„I... I think I should go home now... I'll be fine from here... t-thanks, Reina“, she said and let go of my wrist.
„Eri...“
„N-no, really... it's okay... h-have a nice evening“, Eri quietly said and bowed, slowly walking away.
„ERI, WAIT!!“, I yelled, „ERI!! I... I'M SORRY!!“
Eri didn't reply, she simply kept walking away from me.
Damn, Reina! Do something!!I quickly ran after her, calling her name but Eri didn't even seem to think about stopping. Damn, for someone who's blind she was pretty fast. I sped up, running as fast as I could. Finally I was close enough and managed to grab her wrist. She stopped.
„Eri...“
„W-what?“, she asked, keeping her head turned away from me.
I blinked. Her voice was trembling and sounded throaty. Was she...?
„Eri, I'm sorry... I...“
„You didn't have to yell at me! I'm blind, Reina! Not deaf!“
„I... I know... it just happened... I didn't mean it like that...“
„What was the reason then?!“
„W-well... it's just...“, I stammered and sighed, „there are too many thing revolving around inside my head... And I don't know what to do... it... occupies me a lot...“
„You know you can talk to me about everything.“
„That's... the problem...“
„Eh?“
„I...
can't talk to you in that case.“
„W-what? Why?“
„Eri, please... stop asking. It's better if you don't know anything about that.“
„You're confusing me, Reina... I thought you'd trust me...“
„I do... but...
you confuse
me...“
„But I'm not doing anything!“, Eri declared.
„You're doing... more than you know...“
„. . .“
„It's not meant in a bad way... I...“
„No... no, I understand. I... I should really go now... thanks for having me over at your place...“
„Eri...“
„I think it's the best if we... stop spending time with each other for a while.“
„W-what? No!“
„You're obviously in a huge conflict with yourself, Reina... you should work it out first... you can send me a text... whenever you're ready to talk to me... good night, Reina“, Eri said and walked away.
I was just standing there, unable to move. I wanted to call after her but my voice refused to work.
~~~ ~~~
In that night I wasn't able to fall asleep. No matter how hard I tried, I kept on tossing and turning in my bed. The weariness I longed for so badly didn't come. I sat up and sighed, looking over at the orange glowing numbers of my alarm clock. 2.16 am.
I got up and quietly walked out of my room, slowly going downstairs. Maybe a cup of tea could help me. Switching on the lights in the kitchen I walked over to the cabinet, got a cup out and a bag of my favorite tea. I was totally in thoughts as I filled water into the kettle and switched it on, leaning back against the kitchen counter, rubbing my hands over my face.
„Reina?“
„W-what the... mom?!“, I gasped, „god, you startled me!“
„Sorry“, she said and approached me, „are you okay?“
„Yeah... just having a hard time falling asleep“, I replied.
„Is something bothering you?“
„No... why would it?“
„Do you think I didn't notice that you've been having a weird mood ever since you came back home?“
„. . .“
„Did something happen?“
„I...“, I said and bit my lip, „d-do you want some tea too? It's... a long story.“
„Sure“, my mom replied and sat down, smiling warmly at me, „what's wrong?“
„I... guess I've made a mistake.“
„How so?“
„I was kinda harsh to Eri so... she just left me standing in the park...“, I started as I prepared another cup for my mom.
„Is there a reason why you were so harsh?“
„I guess it was because of what she said when she was here...“
„Was it really that bad? I can't remember Eri saying anything that could've made you that upset.“
„Mom, I was... upset... mad at myself for falling in love with someone I can't have.“
„Wait... what? What gives you that idea?!“
„You even had been asking her, mom“, I said and frowned, pouring the hot water into the cups.
My mom looked extremely confused and lost right now. But okay, it was in the middle of the night and she just woke up. Maybe it was better to just talk about it straight away.
„It was because Eri said that... she's in love with someone...“
„Oh... that... but who says that you're not the one she meant?“
„Mom, it's not me! I just know it“, I quietly said and set the cups of tea down onto the table, sitting down across my mom.
„And you really think that...“
„There's no other option, mom... god, how could I've been so stupid?“, I sighed and buried my face in my hands.
„You're not stupid, Reina.“
„I am! I've let my emotions win over rationality and got disappointed again.“
„You'll... find someone.“
„But...“
„But... you don't want anyone else besides Eri, right?“
„It might sound ridiculous but... yeah, I guess so... she's just... wow!“
„I know, Reina. I know... I've met her today“, my mom said as she put her hand onto mine, „did Eri say anything else?“
„Just that... I can text her as soon as I've... fought out my personal conflicts.“
My mom giggled.
„What's so amusing?“
„Even Eri notices it and she doesn't know you as long as I do.“
„That's... different. You've known me since I was born!“
„Yeah and exactly that is what makes it kinda amusing. I as your mother still try to understand how you think and why you do certain things the way you do and Eri... she seems to already understand what's going on in your mind. Quite remarkable.“
I couldn't help but blush as I realized how right mom was. Eri always had been sensing if something was wrong or if I became nervous all of a sudden. She also never had been questioning the decisions I've made. It really was like... as if Eri already knew how I'd decide before I even did so. It felt like as if Eri had known me forever. She might even knew me better already than I knew myself.
„You know what, Reina?“
„No... what?“
„I think that is... proof enough that she's interested in you.“
„How should that be a proof?!“
„She's occupying herself with you. That's why she knows how you're ticking.“
„Maybe she just understands people easily...“
„Reina... why do you keep it up like that?“
„Like what?“
„You always see everything in a negative way when it comes to Eri. Why can't you just accept the possibility of her liking you as well? In
that way.“
„It's impossible! The whole idea is... absurd! Also I don't think it's a good idea to hold onto possibilities.“
„Okay, fine... you know what?“
„What?“
„You can keep this up forever and might miss your chance with her... or you can finally make a move and tell her how you feel. Who knows, maybe Eri already figured out your feelings and just waits for you to finally confess to her.“
„Nonsense...“
„And if you really think it won't work out then leave it but...“, my mom paused and sighed, „I'm sorry to say it... if you leave it then stop whining about it. That doesn't make things better.“
„. . .“
„Reina... usually you're not that shy. I know that's a whole different thing now since this involves your feelings but just do it like you always do. Tell her straight away and if... if she doesn't feel the same then give her some time to process your confession.“
What mom just had said was like a slap into my face. Yet it kinda... helped. She was right! If I kept on hiding, Eri could be gone faster than I could say her name. And I'd be the one to blame because I've had been too much of a coward to tell her the truth about my feelings.
~~~ ~~~
It's been two days since the incident in the park and till now I didn't hear anything from Eri. I even went to the park to see if she was there but all I found was an empty bench. I sighed and stared at the blank text message display of my cellphone. I don't know how many times I've been trying to send a text to Eri. I've been spending the last two hours with trying to find the right words but whenever I read the text again, I deleted it. Everything sounded so forced and strange to me.
Reina, come on! It can't be that hard! Just tell her you'd like to meet up with her and talk about what happened...I jumped a little as the phone buzzed in my hand. Who the hell sent me a text now? If it was Aiko, asking me to hang out... I totally wasn't in the mood. I opened the message and in an instant my heart skipped a beat.
Reina... I need to talk to you... I guess there's a lot of things between us we should work out... Please meet me in the park. Love, EriImmediately I jumped out of my bed, ran out of my room and downstairs nearly knocking over my brother.
„HEY! Be careful, you idiot!“, he ranted.
„Ta-kun, I don't have time for you now!“, I replied and put on my shoes.
„Reina? Where are you going?“, my mom asked as she peeked out of the kitchen.
„I've got a text from Eri... she wants to meet me in the park right now.“
„Well then“, mom said and smiled, „good luck!“
„Yeah! And don't knock people over!“, Ta-kun teased.
„Ta-kun! Be quiet! Your sister has something important to do!“
„But she...“
„Ta-kun!!“, she hissed and glared at him.
„I'm off, mom“, I announced, opening the door.
„Reina?“
„Yes?“
„I know you can do it... just be honest.“
„I will...“, I replied and smiled at her, „thanks, mom... for everything.“
„Now go... Eri waits for you.“
„Yes! Don't wait for me, okay? Bye~“, I said and rushed off.
~~~ ~~~
My heart was pounding as I reached the entrance of the park. I had no idea what to expect and a strange uneasy feeling spread throughout my body. Was Eri still mad at me? Did she want to come together to tell me we shouldn't meet each other anymore? Or was it...
Stop it, Reina! No negative thoughts!!I took a deep breath and slowly walked down the path towards the place Eri and I were supposed to meet. With each step I took, I could feel myself getting more and more nervous, my hands began to shake and my thoughts were running wild. I gulped as I saw Eri sitting on the bench, holding her cellphone in her hands. I slowly approached her and right in that moment I knew there was no turning back. Quietly I sat down next to her, not daring to break the silence.
„Hi, Reina...“
„H-hi, Eri...“
„I'm glad you came...“
„I... Eri...“
„You don't have to say anything... it's okay...“
„I... thought you wanted to talk to me.“
„Yes, I do... Reina... in the past days I was thinking a lot...“
„So did I...“
„I've tried to understand what's going on between the two of us...“
„W-what?“
„Things between you and me seem a little... complicated.“
„Eri...“
„Please, Reina... let me finish...“
„S-sorry... go on.“
„I've thought about every little thing I've said when I was talking to your mom... I've tried to remember when it started...“
„What do you mean, Eri?“
„Your... weird behavior that evening.“
„O-oh... Eri... I can explain it!“
„You can?“
„Y-yes...“
„If you're able to explain it... why didn't you do it right when I've asked you to?“
„It's... not easy for me... in fact it could destroy everything between...“, I stopped and gulped.
„Between?“
„Between... us...“
There! I said it!
„Reina...“
„I... I know, Eri! There's no
us... i-it's meant in... a friendship way...“
„Why are you always reacting in such a way?“
„E-eh?“
„You're always... panicking. You keep on explaining yourself for everything you say... is there a reason for that?“
„I just... don't want to... scare you...“
Eri laughed. What the hell was so funny?
„Ever thought about that you're not scaring me at all?“, the blinded girl asked.
„Eri, I...“
„You're thinking too much, Reina.“
„I don't want to... lose you...“, I quietly said, feeling a blush creep into my cheeks.
„You won't, Reina... I promise.“
That caused my heart to jump. How could she be so sure about that? She didn't even know what kind of secret I was carrying around with me. And then she simply promised me I wouldn't lose her? Yet it was calming me to hear her saying something like that.
„I know I was a little... too persistent and literally pushed you into a corner“, Eri said and lowered her head.
„No, you... well... a little maybe. But that was more because I couldn't find any words... I had no idea what to say and... I kinda felt... caught.“
„How so?“
Okay, that was the right moment. No more hiding, no more lies. If I wanted all this to work out then I had to be honest.
„Eri... you were right... my weird behavior... it had something to do with a certain thing you've said.“
„And... that was?“
Now Reina! Just do it!„It was... because you've said you're...“, I stopped and took a deep breath, „because you've said you're in love...“
I watched Eri's face and clearly saw confusion in her expression. Not a sign of anger... yet.
„Reina... why is that the reason for you being so rude?“
„I... there's a reason for it...“
„Will you... tell me about it?“, Eri cautiously asked.
Go on, Reina! Don't retract now!„Eri, I...“, I began, hesitatingly taking her hand into mine, „the reason why is... that...“
I struggled for words but no matter how hard I've tried, there was just no single word coming out of my mouth. Courage had left me and suddenly all the doubts came back with full force. Was it really right to tell her the truth? Should I really jeopardize our friendship for a love that might be only partial? But then again... was I really okay with just being friends with Eri? God, so many questions, so many things that made me so insecure.
I blinked a few times in confusion as I felt Eri lacing her fingers through mine, gently squeezing my hand. I looked at her and my heart started pounding again. Eri smiled at me in the most sweetest way I've ever seen. A pleasant shiver ran through me as I looked into the girl's blinded eyes. Even though I knew Eri wasn't able to see, I felt like as if she was looking right through me... yet her eyes had something... reassuring.
„It's okay, Reina“, Eri softly said, her thumb gently stroked my hand, „take your time... I'm not gonna push you.“
I knew Eri would never push me. But I owed her an answer... it was her right to know why I acted so damn rude two days ago.
„Eri... I... I fell in love with you...“
Right in the moment I've finished the sentence I could feel how some kind of relief took me over... followed by a slight panic-attack. Eri didn't seem to react to what I've told her just now and I had no idea if that was a good or bad sign. I gulped and tried to control my now shaking body. The silence killed me.
God, Eri! Please... please say something! Even if you say that you hate me and never want to spend time with me again but please... just say something!„W-wow...“, Eri quietly said, making me feel a little better.
„I... I know it's crazy but... I couldn't help but falling in love with you. You're just... I... I can't explain it with words...“
„S-since when?“
„Since... a while now... actually... I started to feel something for you after the first few times we've been hanging out together... I've tried to convince myself that I'm just imagining things... I've tried to deny it but... my feelings were growing stronger and stronger... until... until I wasn't able to control them anymore... and I gave in...“
„So... hearing about me being in love... shattered your hopes...“
„Y-yeah... I... I know I shouldn't have put them up too high... i-it's just ridiculous to even
think about you could feel the same...“
„Reina... Reina, stop!“
„W-what?“
„I... right now I'm trying to understand something...“
„And what?“
„Why... do you think like that, Reina?“
„Like what?“
„Like... it's ridiculous to think about... me feeling the same for you?“
„I... Eri... a woman like you...“
„What? A woman like me can't be in love?“
„No... t-that's not what I meant... of course you can be in love and... I-I'm happy for you that you found someone... w-what I meant was... that a woman like you would never be in love with someone like me... a... girl.“
„Reina... you don't really see it, do you?“
„Well... sorry I didn't see your boyfriend sneaking about you...“
„You don't understand me...“
„I do... no, I don't... I... ahhhh! Eri, you're confusing me!“
„You're confusing
yourself because you're thinking way too much!“
„I can't do anything against it! I'm a very thoughtful person by nature!“
„Too thoughtful! You're drowning in your own thoughts... so deep that you can't see the obvious!“
Obvious? I couldn't really follow her. What the hell did Eri try to tell me? Was there really something I didn't see because I've been so occupied with my own thoughts and worries? God, I've never been so confused like I was now.
„Reina...“, Eri softly said and squeezed my hand, „I'm not saying it's a bad thing to be thoughtful... but sometimes... simply asking or... letting it happen is the better option.“
„W-what do you mean?“
„You've always kept apologizing if you brushed my hand with yours, when you were standing close to me or when you realized I've noticed you looking at me...“
„T-that was... because...“
„You've thought it'd freak me out, right?“
„Y-yeah...“
Eri sighed deeply.
„What's wrong, Eri?“
„You're way more complicated that I've thought...“
„I...“
„Reina... you've never thought about the possibility that... I could like the things you do?“
„W-what?“
„I don't mind when you're close me! I don't mind when you touch my hand, I don't mind if you look at me! I... I'm happy if you do...“
„E-Eri...“
„I feel so comfortable when you're near me, Reina! You're giving me the feeling of security... something I wasn't able to feel for a long time... I trust you and... and...“, Eri stammered, her voice was getting quiet.
„A-and?“
„Reina... I... I miss you... whenever you're not with me...“
„You...“, I gasped, totally surprised about what Eri had said just now.
„I miss you and... there's not a single day passing by... I'm not thinking of you... wondering what you're doing...“
By now my heart was hammering against my chest, I felt like as if it would burst any moment. I was listening to Eri intently, watching her face. A soft blush colored her cheeks, her fingers played with the hem of her shirt while her other hand still held tightly onto mine.
„Eri... what are you trying to tell me?“
„I'm trying to make you see!“
„S-see what?“
„That I'm in love!“
„I know that... you already told me...“
„Do I have to make it even more obvious?!“
„Stop talking in riddles, Eri!“
„The person I was talking about... is sitting right next to me!“
I blinked a few times, Eri's words totally caught me off-guard.
„E-Eri...“
„It's you, Reina! The person I fell in love with is you!“
„M-me?“
„Yes, you! Why do you think... I had been asking you so much about... how you found out that you're in love with a girl? I... wanted to... be sure about my own feelings towards you... if I... read the signs right...“
I was way to stunned to say anything. Did Eri just really... tell me she loved me? Was this what she had been hinting towards? Now I slowly started to understand what Eri had meant when she said I was thinking too much and that I didn't see the obvious because I was letting my thoughts taking me over. God I've been... such an idiot!
I looked at Eri. Her cheeks were bright red, she had her head lowered a little bit while she was chewing on her bottom lip.
„Eri...“, I softly said, gently putting my index finger under her chin, moving her head up so she was facing me, „don't do that... I don't want you to damage those beautiful lips of yours.“
With these words I slowly leaned in until my lips were touching hers. It was like an explosion of emotions. What I've been dreaming of ever since I fell in love with Eri finally became reality. Her lips were even softer than they looked and tasted like heaven to me. My heart beat quickened when Eri let go of my hand just to wrap her arms around my neck, pulling me closer as she returned the kiss ever so gently. We were lost in this enchanting moment.
I wish the kiss could've lasted longer but eventually the two of us ran out of breath. I pulled back a little bit, looking at Eri who still had her eyes closed, a soft smile on her lips. Gently I leaned my forehead onto hers, stroking her cheek. Eri put her hand on top of mine, leaning into the touch.
„I love you, Eri“, I whispered.
„I love you too, Reina“, Eri quietly replied, placing another kiss onto my lips.
„H-how about... we stay here for a little while? It's a pretty nice and warm night.“
„Hmmm... I think I got a better idea...“
„Really? What is it?“
„How about we... go to my place and talk?“
„Sure, sounds good.“
„And maybe... I can... snuggle into your arms then...“
„That really
is a better idea“, I said, all excited.
„Let's go then.“
„Alright.“
I got up and took Eri's hands, pulling her up and right against me, wrapping my arms around her waist. The girl in my arms giggled. Once again I kissed her, holding Eri as close her possible. That probably was how heaven felt like. I pulled away from the kiss and took Eri's hand, lacing my fingers through hers. She gave me a gentle squeeze and held tightly onto my hand as we walked through the park. Yeah... that truly was heaven. And Eri was the one and only angel.
To be continued...Okay, that's it for chapter 10... sorry again it took so long! But I hope you liked it anyway~
Topic: Love is blind (UPDATED) [03/29 I'm sorry guys...] (Read 55929 times)