CHAPTER 10
Jurina is in the dressing room wearing a black suit and adjusting her tie in the mirror. Her next photoshoot is in five minutes, and she groans when she fails to make the knot again. A chuckle erupts next to her and Rena approaches her.
"Let me help you."
Jurina turns to the girl's who's wearing a white dress and with who she's doing a photoshoot with. It's been more than two months since their last photoshoot together, and the theme of the day is black and white. Rena's expert hands quickly manage to make the knot perfectly and Jurina sighs in relief when she looks at the result in the mirror.
"I don't understand how you still can't make a knot properly. You should be used to it with
Darkness," Rena shakes her head in amusement.
"I never do it, someone helps me," Jurina admits, at what Rena rolls her eyes.
A staff member suddenly appears in the room and warns them the photoshoot is about to start.
Apparently the theme of the day is also newlyweds, and Jurina mentally rolls her eyes each time she hears the photographer saying "closer". She's trying to act as professional as possible while still maintaining a reasonable distance. A few years ago, she would have clung to Rena immediately without thinking, but now things were different. She was not a kid anymore and most of all, she had feelings to keep in check and someone to get over with. Which was still a bit problematic, judging by the way her heart had started to flutter when she had seen her in this beautiful white dress.
When the photographer makes again a sign for them to get closer, Jurina wants to groan, but still manages to keep a fake smile on her face. She's moving a bit to Rena's side when she feels the girl's hand on her waist drawing her to her and whispering in her ear, while still looking at the camera.
"Jurina, stop being so nervous or this photoshoot will never end."
The younger girl gulps in surprise at the girl's sudden action, before finding the situation quite ironic. A while ago, the roles would have reversed and she would have been the one to try and relax the nervous Rena. Oh well. She didn't mind the change so much.
An hour later, it's finally over and both girl join the dressing room. Jurina is undoing her tie when she notices Rena watching her in the mirror and rolling her eyes at the girl's clumsy attempt. Jurina sighs defeated and turns to the girl who quickly undoes her tie, a small smile on her lips.
"What's happening to you? I've never seen you so nervous during a photoshoot," Rena asks once it's done.
"I don't know," Jurina replies in a small voice and averting her eyes, before taking her jacket off.
"It looked like you were afraid of touching me," Rena states and Jurina stops what she's doing to turn at the girl's saddened tone. "You also did the same thing during the shooting of the new videoclip."
Jurina doesn't know what to say and observes silently Rena who's now sighing.
"You don't have to keep your distances so much. It's a bit strange coming from you," Rena admits before grabbing her hand and rubbing it gently. "Promise me you won't do it anymore?"
"Okay..." is the only thing Jurina can reply to Rena's pleading eyes, getting a broad smile in return.
Rena goes back to undressing and Jurina does the same before Rena turns slightly to her again with questioning eyes.
"Does this have something to do with what Akane said at the restaurant?"
Jurina's eyes widen at the girl's words, not expecting to hear about that again. Since this little incident, Jurina had prepared an explanation in her head in case she was questioned about it, but Rena had never asked and the younger Matsui had almost all forgotten about it until now. Caught off guard, Jurina who was unbuttoning her white shirt stills her movement a few seconds, before getting back to the task nonchalantly.
"I don't know why she said that, but let's not forget she was drunk," she turns to Rena, sending her a playful smile. Her voice doesn't falter once and Jurina who's now looking at herself in the mirror again nervously waits for Rena's answer.
"Okay..." Rena hesitantly replies a few seconds later.
Jurina notices the doubt in her voice, but relaxes when she doesn't insist.
Silence then engulfs them as they finish to undress, and they're now sitting down to remove their light makeup when Rena turns again to Jurina.
"About Akane. Do you know what's happening between Airin and her? They're not talking anymore."
Jurina sighs dejectedly at Rena and shakes her head.
"No. I'm sure it has something to do with what happened at the restaurant, but she refuses to talk about it."
"Same with Airin."
"I don't like seeing Churi so sad, but I don't know what to do."
"I think I have an idea. What if we set up a meeting?"
"A meeting? We?" Jurina turns surprised to Rena, who smiles nervously.
"Yes. I may need your help."
Jurina finds it a bit odd that Rena is trying to meddle in the girls' relationship, but the curiosity gets the best of her.
"What is it?"
"Airin's birthday is in a few days. She has invited me to have lunch with her, and then we're supposed to go see the Christmas' decorations in the city center. What if Akane were to make an appearance?"
"I'm sorry, I don't follow..." Jurina says with a puzzled look, and Rena rolls her eyes.
"You could bring Akane at the same place and they could accidentally meet."
"Oh", Jurina's eyes suddenly brighten and Rena chuckles.
"So, what do you think?" Rena asks expectantly, more serious.
Jurina thinks about it for a few seconds, before nodding.
"If it can help them reconcile, then I'm in."
"Well, I don't know if it will work, be we have to try. I don't like seeing Airin so sad."
"And I Churi. Then it's a deal," Jurina exclaims, stretching her hand in a formal way.
Rena rolls her eyes at the action and shakes it in a swift movement. She then turns to the mirror to finish removing her makeup, Jurina mimicking her actions. When Rena has finished, she gets up and puts her coat on, before heading to the door. Grabbing the handle, she halts to turn to the girl.
"I'll send you a text with all the info."
"Yes, captain."
Rena smiles at Jurina's playful tone and watches her a few seconds as she's adjusting her hair in the mirror, suddenly realizing how much she missed their complicity. When Jurina notices she's still not gone she turns in surprise and Rena waves at her, before finally leaving the room.
Airi's smile broadens when her gift is unwrapped and she discovers the manga.
"I hope you don't already have it," Rena asks expectantly, and Airi quickly shakes her head.
"No, I don't. I was actually planning on buying it," the girl answers, and the older Matsui sighs in relief.
"I also brought you these," Rena handles a box and Airi peeks inside.
"You made macaroons?" she asks dumbfounded.
"Yes. I wanted to make your favorites for your birthday."
"Thank you very much, Rena."
Airi quickly goes to put the box in the kitchen, while Rena takes a look around her, noticing how the house is quiet and the table is already set up for two in the dining room.
"You're sure you didn't want to invite more people?" she asks when Airi comes back and invites her to sit.
"Why? Afraid to get bored?" Airi asks playfully, and Rena chuckles while sitting down.
"With you? Never. I just thought you would like to throw a party for your birthday."
"No, I just wanted to spend a quiet afternoon with you," Airi shakes her head, and Rena blushes slightly at the girl's words.
The lunch goes on smoothly, both girls chatting eagerly about their favorite subjects and the group now and then. Rena always finds it so easy to talk to the girl: they have so much in common. When it's time for dessert, the older Matsui checks the time while Airi is in the kitchen, not forgetting about her little arrangement with Jurina.
Rena raises her eyes in surprise when Airi comes back with the macaroons she baked.
"You don't want to keep them for yourself?" she asks, but Airi shakes her head.
"You made quite a lot and I want to enjoy them with you."
Rena smiles at Airi's words, noticing again how the girl is acting nervous around her. It's a bit odd, but she doesn't say a thing, tasting the macaroons with apprehension, and sighing in relief when they actually are good. She still remembers vividly the last time she promised Airi a chocolate cake and she had ended at the bakery instead. Thankfully, she can still cook.
Both girls are now walking in the city center of Nagoya and Rena's eyes brighten at the beautiful sight in front of her. The older Matsui may not like cold and winter, she loves this period of the year when the streets are enlightened by beautiful decorations, coming in various shapes, sizes and colors. Right now, with her mouth agape, she's not the 23 years old Rena, but a little kid in a candy store looking all around her, trying not to miss anything. When she spots mechanical pink bears behind the window of a shop, she quickly grabs Airi's arm and motions it to her. The girl nods, trying hard not to chuckle at the girl's enthusiasm as they approach the store to take a better look at it.
While Rena watches the animated bears in awe, Airi glances discreetly at her, sighing at how beautiful she is. It never stops to amaze her how cute the girl always looks no matter what she does, even when she's acting unexpectedly childish like right now. She had admired Rena from the start and couldn't be more happy with how close they were now. Or could she? A small voice in her head had been nagging her for a while now, prompting her to be more honest with herself. She didn't see her as a friend. Not anymore. When did her feelings start to change? She wasn't sure, but the more time she spent with the girl, the more she knew she had to say something. The aching in her heart would not stop until words were finally out.
She was nervous about what she was about to say, and had rehearsed her monologue in her head all morning. Was this the right time? Maybe not. Was she ready? Absolutely not. There was no easy way to do this.
Inhaling deeply, she slowly grabs Rena's hand and pulls it a little to catch the girl's attention.
"I have something to tell you," Airi says in a confident voice, and Rena turns with a smile, before noticing her nervousness.
The older Matsui's intense stare unsettles Airi who avoids her gaze a few seconds, feeling her confidence slipping away instantly. She was not naive, she knew it would be hard, and that's why she had prepared her speech in her head.
When Airi doesn't say anything, Rena takes a look at her watch, her eyes widening when she notices the time. She had given rendezvous to Jurina in front of a bakery not far from here, and she should be there at any minute. Turning to Airi, she waits a few seconds expectantly, and takes a chance when the girl doesn't say anything.
"Airin, there's this bakery I would like to check. Do you mind?" she asks hesitantly, noticing how the girl is lost in thoughts.
When Airi nods, Rena sighs in relief and leads her to the meeting point. When the shop appears in the distance, her eyes scan the area looking for Jurina and Akane, but it looks like the girls have not arrived yet. They are halfway when Rena suddenly feels her hand being pulled, and she turns in surprise to Airi.
"I'm sorry, but I have something important to tell you."
"Okay, I'm listening," Rena answers patiently, before noting how Airi is quiet again. Now she's really worried. It's not like Airin to be so lost for words.
"What is it? Did something happen?"
Airi notices Rena's concerned look and immediately feels bad about it. She can't beat around the bushes anymore.
"I really like you Rena, you know that?"
"Of course I do, I like you too," Rena smiles, relaxing a bit.
"We've been friends for a while now, and I've been thinking a lot about it recently. I want more," Airi states confidently and Rena just nods, Airi taking it as a sign to continue.
"What I'm saying is, I don't want us to be just friends."
"We're not, we're best friends," Rena says smiling, and Airi understands the girl is not going to make things easy for her.
"What I mean is, I have feelings for you, Rena."
Both girls then lock eyes for a while, and Airi immediately observes Rena's confused look, her mouth opening as to say something before closing again. When it happens for the third time, Airi speaks up again.
"Do you understand what I'm saying?"
"I'm sorry, I'm not sure I'm following."
Airi knows she might regret her next action later, but she doesn't see any other option. She wants to make her intentions clear, and Rena seems annoyingly totally clueless.
Gathering her courage, she slowly pulls the girl towards her, and when Rena doesn't try to push her, she moves forward and kisses her on the lips.
Jurina is eying Churi by her side, while checking the time now and then. When she had suggested her to go and see the Christmas' decorations, the girl had reluctantly agreed, not really in the mood. Now Churi was staring blankly in front of her, not paying attention to anything in particular, and Jurina was really hoping this whole thing was not a bad idea.
Since her birthday, Churi had lost her joyfulness, and not even the cheerful Jurina had managed to change a thing. She had accepted Rena's idea hoping it would help, but now seeing her friend so moody was making her doubt the plan was going to work. Unfortunately, it was too late to go backwards. The meeting point was almost in view, when Churi grabs Jurina's arm and turns to her with pleading eyes.
"Could we please go home? I'm getting tired."
Jurina winces at her words, embarrassed. It's the third time the girl has mentioned her desire to leave, and the younger Matsui is running out of excuses.
"There's just that other shop I want to see, and then we can go", she says swiftly, seeing Churi nodding reluctanly.
Jurina sighs internally when she finally spots the bakery and she quickly looks for Rena. When she doesn't see her in front of the shop she scans the crowd before finally catching her and Airi. She's smiling in relief when she suddenly stops walking at the scene she's witnessing. Churi who's noticed her action turns to her in confusion, before following her gaze to the two girls who are kissing.
Not believing her eyes, Jurina's first reaction is to double-check she's not confusing them with someone else, but when Airi withdraws from the kiss and Rena comes into view, the younger girl knows her sight is not playing tricks on her. Feeling a sharp pang in her heart, she grimaces in pain, closing her eyes a few seconds before setting them again on the couple. It's not a pleasant view, but maybe that's what she needed to get definitely over Rena.
Lost in her thoughts, she turns when she feels Churi gripping her arm tightly, and notices the pain in her eyes. The girl is also observing the couple and Jurina's eyes widen when she sees tears falling on her face. Churi suddenly turns to her and embraces her swiftly, Jurina lost for words when she feels the girl crying on her shoulder. Putting her own pain aside, she responds to the girl's embrace and listens to the girl's soft sobbing, while trying to understand what's happening.
Softly caressing the girl's back to soothe her, the crying progressively slows down and Jurina takes the opportunity to question her.
"Churi? What is it?" she asks, concerned, but Churi stays quiet a few more seconds before disentangling herself and staring at her.
Jurina, taken aback by the suffering in her eyes, instinctively moves her hand to wipe a tear before caressing her cheek in a comforting gesture. She's about to reformulate her question when Churi suddenly moves forwards and their lips meet. Jurina is about to push her away when Churi quickly backs away and Jurina stares at her, dumbstruck, trying to understand the meaning of this kiss. When Churi moves forward again Jurina lets her, despite knowing this is all wrong.
When Airi backs away from the kiss, she opens her eyes to see Rena staring at her in shock. She has to admit that she kind of expected this reaction from the girl. Airi averts her eyes a few seconds, before getting back to Rena.
"Do you understand now?" she asks in a small voice, only seeing Rena nodding in silence.
Airi patiently waits for Rena to process what just happened, before speaking again.
"I'm sorry if I took you by surprise," she says now feeling really awful, before Rena gently grabs her hand.
"It's okay, Airin. I'm not mad," she tries to reassure her, despite the stupefaction still evident on her face.
Airi sighs in relief, before noticing the girl's nervousness.
"I'm sorry Airin, but I don't know what to say," Rena stutters, and Airi quickly waves her hand.
"You don't have to say anything. I just couldn't keep it to myself anymore."
"I'm glad you were honest," Rena replies, despite the uneasiness in her eyes. "I wish I could give you an answer, but I'm feeling a bit confused right now."
Rena suddenly rubs Airi's hand a little, a small smile appearing on her face.
"But I promise I won't let you in the dark. Can you just be a bit patient?"
"Take all the time you need."
Of course Airi would prefer an answer right away, but she knows it's best not to push the girl tonight if she wants a positive outcome to her confession. If Rena needs time to think, then she'll let her have it.
In an attempt to lighten the suddenly heavy atmosphere, Airi turns around and looks for the bakery Rena mentioned a few minutes before, before spotting it.
"The bakery is over there," she states, and Rena widens her eyes, instantly remembering the plan.
They move forward to the shop before Airi notices two familiar faces.
"Isn't that Jurina and Churi?" she asks, and Rena follows her gaze.
For the second time this evening, the older Matsui is at loss for words, and she stares in surprise at the two girls who are kissing.
"You wanted your proof, here you have it," Airi giggles and Rena nods silently, feeling a small pang in her heart.
When she finally looks away, she grabs Airi's hand and intertwines their fingers together.
"It's getting late, maybe we should go home."
"You didn't want to buy something at the bakery?" Airi asks in confusion, and Rena slowly shakes her head.
"It's fine. I'll do it another time."
Despite finding the girl's change of heart awkward, Airi doesn't insist and, relishing the girl's warm hand inside hers, nods.
"Okay, let's go."
The inside of the cab is awfully quiet when Jurina and Churi decide to go back home. After that second kiss, Churi had asked to leave and Jurina had quickly complied, the initial plan all forgotten. Now she was looking through the window, trying to process what just happened and why she didn't push the girl the second time. Churi had given no explanation and stayed quiet the whole time, and when Jurina had tried to ask, the words just couldn't come out.
Churi's unexpected behavior added to the scene she had witnessed made that evening a whole lot confusing, and Jurina mentally slaps herself when she remembers she was supposed to meet Rena in front of the bakery. Getting her phone out of her bag, she types a short message to the girl, hoping she's still not waiting. A few seconds later the reply comes, and she sighs in relief when she reads that the two girls have left. Closing her phone, she glances again at Churi whose head is laying against the window, and Jurina sighs worriedly.
When the car stops in front of Churi's house a while later, Jurina is about to give her address to the driver when Churi turns to her with pleading eyes.
"Stay with me tonight? Please?"
Jurina ponders the girl's words, hesitant, before nodding. The pain is still evident on Churi's face, and Jurina feels bad leaving her alone when her parents are away.
The younger Matsui slowly follows the girl into her house, feeling somehow a bit nervous. They eat a light dinner, Churi not being very talkative and Jurina still lost in thoughts. The younger girl knows she should be more brave and confront her right now, but she's not in a right state of mind herself.
As expected, sleep doesn't come at all. Jurina has her back turned to Churi's and by all the sighing she hears from the other girl, she knows she's not the only one having this problem. Moving on her back again, she's staring absently at the ceiling when she suddenly feels movement in the bed and sees Churi approaching her. She turns slightly, expecting the girl to speak but Churi stays quiet, moving closer instead until they are just inches apart. Jurina is about to open her mouth to say something when she feels Churi's lips on hers and a hand caressing her stomach. Surprise seizes her again and she doesn't react when the girl moves on top of her. She unconsciously opens her mouth and the kiss quickly deepens, Churi's right hand moving underneath her shirt while the second one caresses her hair.
A voice inside Jurina's head screams at how wrong this is and that she should stop the girl right now. Despite hearing it loud and clear, she swiftly pushes it aside, getting lost in the intensity of the kiss. She recognizes the despair in it, as she's feeling it herself. When Churi's right hand is more bold and starts to lift up her shirt, Jurina suddenly realizes what's going on and breaks the kiss.
"Churi, we can't do that," she says quickly, but the older girl ignores her and kisses her again, this time more desperately. Digits begin to climb upwards under her shirt and Jurina swiftly grabs the girl's wrist before they can touch her chest, while she uses her other hand to push the girl away.
"Stop it, Churi," she pleads and the older girl retreats quickly at Jurina's frightened look.
"I'm sorry," she stutters, realizing in shock what she was doing.
Jurina's eyes follow her as she gets out of bed and moves backwards until her back hits the wall, sliding against it until she's sitting on the floor, her head buried in her hands. When she starts to cry, Jurina slowly gets out of bed and kneels in front of her.
"I'm so sorry, Jurina. I'm so sorry," Churi repeats between her sobs and Jurina stretches her hands to grab her arms.
"It's okay, it's okay."
When Churi starts to cry profusely, Jurina moves forward to embrace her and the older girl, after a moment of hesitation, lets her, watering her right shoulder immediately.
"Tell me what's going on," Jurina murmurs, slowly caressing the girl's hair to soothe her. The gesture seems to work on Churi as the crying progressively subsides until it stops a few minutes later.
"It's about Airi, isn't it? What happened at the restaurant?" Jurina asks, hoping the girl will finally confide in her.
Feeling a small nod on her shoulder, she pushes the girl a little to look at her, pained to see the despair in the girl's eyes.
"What did you talk about?" Jurina pushes, and Churi slowly raises her eyes to her.
"I told her I had feelings for her."
"And she rejected you," Jurina guesses, only receiving another small nod in reply.
Churi quickly wipes her tears, avoiding the girl's look after her confession.
"I know it hurts, and I'm here for you. But not like that..." Jurina continues slowly, catching Churi's attention again.
"How can you be so nice to me after what I've done?" Churi asks, and Jurina smiles.
"Because I love you, Churi. And you stopped when I asked you to. It's all that matters to me," Jurina answers and the older girl shakes her head in disbelief.
"I don't deserve your friendship."
"Don't say that. We all have our own way to cope with pain and you had to let it out."
"But not like that."
"Don't think about it anymore. It's over now."
Jurina gets up and pulls the girl, motioning to the bed.
"Let's go back to sleep."
Jurina starts to get under the sheets when she notices the girl hasn't moved an inch.
"Would you prefer if I slept on the couch?" she asks gently, and Churi quickly shakes her head, feeling awful again.
"I'm not going to touch you, I promise."
"I know that. I was asking in case you preferred some space for tonight," Jurina smiles, trying to catch a glimpse at the girl's who's averting her eyes.
"No, I don't want to be alone."
"Then it's settled," Jurina lightly taps the space beside her and Churi slowly gets into bed, keeping a good distance between them and turning her back to the younger girl.
When Jurina slowly approaches and encircles her waist from behind Churi flinches, before relaxing a little. She knows she's going to feel bad about what she did for the next following days, but for now she relishes the girl's unexpected tender gesture and closes her eyes to sleep.
TO BE CONTINUED