CHAPTER 52
“Reina are you ready?”
“Yeah.” I reply
I flatten out my black dress and make sure my necklace and other jewelry are on properly as well before we leave my uncle's car. Satisfied with my reflection in the car mirror, I close the flap above the passenger seat. I face my uncle before opening the car door. My hand is clenched tight around the handle. Our eyes connect and he tosses me a soft smile. It's a smile of confident. It's his way of telling me that I can get through this just like all the other things I've been through. And he's right. I can do this, accepting this push of confidence, I open the door. My skin meets with cold fresh winter air, taking the warmth I had in the car almost instantly away. I bunch up into my jacket to keep some of the heat inside with me. The wind from the brisk air blows back bits of my brown hair, making them lash at my face, brushing under my nose, occasionally. I start to shiver, but it isn't from the cold anymore. It's from the fear. I'm flooded with an overflow of emotions. I'm so nervous. Who wouldn't be? I've never been to a funeral before. I don't know what to expect or what to do. All I know is that I have to be with Eri, but I didn't have to think too hard about that. I just want to know what comes after this. Should I leave her at home or should I come with her? I guess I'll know when this is all over. I wish it would be soon. I'm not even a foot into the cemetery and I hate it. I can get the strong feeling of death around me and sorrow. I can't stand it. It makes me worry more about Eri. Since she's the one that will be the most effected to this sad filled graveyard.
“Remember Reina, take it easy.” My uncle reminds me.
“Yeah, yeah, I know.” I reply
He opens the car from his side and comes over to help me out. I hold on to his arm as we walk closer to the long rusted gate door. The whole gate is covered in rust and I'm sure if people didn't tend to the graves so much this whole place would be covered in tall pieces of grass. As we draw near I can notice that some graves have dead flowers or some have none at all as if forgotten forever by their love ones. I hope Eri's mom won't be forgotten like these people. We carefully walk through the gate and step on to soft bright green grass. There are thousands of headstones everywhere. The rows of how many seem to stretch far into the distance making it seem endless. I shiver again to the sudden shift of temperature change. My uncle looks at me, feeling that I'm shivering since our arms are linked together. I nod at him with a soft smile in place, showing him I'm perfectly fine. I know how paranoid he is about my health since I'm not exactly fit to be in this type of weather. Curious to my surroundings, I find myself taking in every detail I come across in this cemetery. The trees are bare with not a single leaf attached to it's branches. It not only makes this place look sadder, but scary. I really don't want to be here, but I know I have to. I can't leave just yet. My eyes zip through each row of graves as we travel, searching for one headstone in particular.
“There they are.” I state.
I point out to my left. My uncle's eyes follow my hand and we both start to walk in that direction. There are people circled around the square shaped coffin. It hasn't been put in the ground yet so that has to mean it didn't start yet. There aren't many people standing out here, bu that doesn't matter. I think in the distant though, I can make out our friends, standing among the group. I'm glad they decided to come. I let go of my uncle's arm when we're just an inch away from the group. He nods at me, understanding my hasty departure. I quickly make my way over to Eri who's latched on to her father's arm, sniffling. He sees me and steps away, leaving me to take his place. I slip my hand easily into Eri's and her hand on instinct curls around mine. Her hand is so soft and warm like always, but I can feel them shaking and the muscle tightening, showing signs of her distress. The funeral hasn't started, but already she's a weeping mess. I scan the people around me briefly. They have their head down, their eyes fixed on the coffin in the middle of us. The reason why we're all here. Why we are filled with dread and pain. I might have not known her that well, but I knew she was a good mother and now that she's dead I can't help but feel a sense of sorrow too. Knowing that she's dead bothers me a lot more than I would have thought. I put my head down, keeping an eye on Eri as we stand together side by side.
“I'm here Eri.” I whisper.
She leans into me, resting her head on to my shoulder. This is why I don't want her here, but she insisted and I can understand why. This would be her only chance to say her farewells. She has a right to say her goodbyes to her mother. No one can ever replace her mother. She's someone close and special to Eri's heart. I just hate seeing her suffer like this and I can't do anything to help her. I can't stop what she's feeling and I can't go back to save her mother and even if I could I don't think I could have stopped it. Cancer isn't a curable disease. We both knew this was going to happen, but we didn't know it would happen and lead to a series of tragic events. I put my head lightly against hers, feeling the need to seek comfort myself.
“Reina?” she mumbles.
Her voice quivers with uncertainty. I've never seen her so afraid or this sad. She's too fragile. Her hold in our joined hands feels desperate and pleading. I'm more than willing to assure her as much I have to and shower her with as much love is needed to quash her fears, instantly. If you're listening Mrs. Kamei I'll still keep that promise you've asked me before. It'll take care of her. I won't let you down. I'll take care of Eri and protect her with my own life. You don't have to worry. Eri's safe in my arms. I promise.
“I would never leave you.” I say.
The man up front behind the headstone puts his hands up in the air in silence to signal he's starting. I grip Eri's hands just a tad bit harder. He opens his book and starts to read. Eri immediately starts to weep. She's trying her best to get through this. She may not be able to see what's going on, but she can hear well enough to know and I'm sure thousands of pictures and thoughts are going through her mind right now. I know my mind is racing, but the one that I come back to the most is why? Why does things this cruel happen to Eri? I'm still blaming myself for my mistake even if Eri doesn't want me to. I can't help it, but I guess bad things like this can't be helped either. It just happens and I'm left to pick up the pieces. My stomach churns. My mouth has gone dry. I can hear the sound of crying and sniffling from the family around me and it doesn't help me feel any better. I've never felt this bad in my life before. This funeral can't be over soon enough.
***
When the man was done everyone had a chance to say their goodbyes. Many people lined up to toss a flower over the grave or something else they must of new she loved. I came into the line with Eri and stopped when we were close enough to the coffin. She was first to put a single red rose over it and I put one shortly after. I put my hand on the coffin as if saying my goodbye to her if she were alive. I had to do something. I wanted to show that she was someone I cared about to. I may have not spoke to her often, but that conversation we had when I took care of her it's still fresh in my head. And then to see that she's dead well it...kind of bothers me. At least now she doesn't have to suffer. She can be pain free and be finally at peace.
“Goodbye, Mrs. Kamei.” I whisper.
I take my hand off the coffin and walk Eri as far away from the coffin as possible. She shouldn't come back here, at least not for a long time at least. She needs time to heal.
My uncle approaches me as we get closer to the cemetery gate.
“Reina, are you coming with me or are you going to stay with Eri?” He questions.
“I'll stay with her for today, if that's ok?” I reply.
“It isn't a problem. Give me a call when you want me to pick you up tomorrow.”
He waves goodbye and heads to his car, alone this time. From the right I can see our friends coming over to greet us, but I know they're mainly here to see if Eri is ok. She was crying so much during the burial.
“Eri we're sorry.” Ai says.
“It's hard for you, but please try not to remain negative ok?” Risa asks.
“If you need us you can call us Eri.” Sayu adds. “You know we care for you.”
“I-I know I just...it's hard. I...I miss her already. Thank you for all coming.” Eri sniffles.
She can't get enough strength to talk anymore other than those few words. She goes back to crying when she's done. I notice that the only person who hasn't spoken is Koharu. She's speechless and seeing her not say a word is kind of strange. Her perky happy energy is gone. She's at a lack for words which is understandable. So instead she just puts her head down and fidgets. Her arm loops through Sayu's as she runs her foot along the smooth grass. She shouldn't have came here. She's much younger than us to see this.
“She just needs some time. She'll be fine.” I promise.
They all wave and exit the cemetery, leaving Eri and I last. We can't stay here anymore. There's no need to and I don't want to be here any longer either. I just want to get out of here and away from the sight of death. I've had enough of it for a day.
“Come on Eri. Let's get out of here.”
I lead her out of the graveyard and straight to her father's car. I come in carefully after she's taken a seat and close the door. Her dad starts the car and drives into the silent road, speeding away from the cemetery with ease. I'm glad to leave. I don't ever want to come back to this place.
***
“Are you tired?” I say
I enter Eri's room and close the door behind us as we walk to the middle of the room. Eri holds on to me tightly as she stands there, quietly. I brought her here in case she wanted to sleep if she was too drained from her previous crying.
“Maybe we should lay down.” I suggest.
“Help me undress?”
I gulp and freeze. She wants me to...undress her? I...oh boy. My mind is getting all these bad thoughts just thinking about seeing her body again. Snap out of it! She asking me because she needs my help. She can't do it herself. She can't see anything! Why would I want to think about sex at a time like this anyway? I step forward and she turns her back towards me to give me a view of the zipper to her dress. I let out a small breath and take the zipper into my fingers. Eri stands still waiting for me to pull it down. Slowly, I bring the zipper down her body, being sure to not get the zipper stuck as it travels down. I let it go when it's a little below her waist and take a step back. I take another deep breath to control myself. Eri starts to take her dress off, pulling lightly at the top of her dress to get her arms through the holes. I come over to help her when it's around her feet so she won't trip and I take the dress. I go to her closet to hang it up. I come back and stand there in front of her, trying to look anywhere, but at her half naked body. She's standing before me in just her underwear. Right now I wish I were blind so I don't have to get distracted! She has such a nice body. I can't look away. I feel that I have to stare at it and touch it. Eri's hands go to my shoulders and slide up to my face. Her fingers trace the outline of my cheek gently and my breath quickens to the feel of her fingers touching me, lovingly. She leans forward and I gasp.
“Eri, what are you doing?” I whisper.
Her lips touch my own and I automatically tie my arms around her waist to bring her closer. Her body presses against me as we kiss, heatedly. She's still so soft and her touch just I remember it is tender and warm. Her tongue comes into my mouth and I moan, grabbing on to her slightly tighter. The kiss ends quickly after, but neither of us move. I continue to embrace her, too stunned to speak. My head is spinning and my heart is beating into my neck, making it impossible to speak. The only sound that is heard is our labored breathing that seems to magnify due to the silence around us. I bury my face into the crook of Eri's neck and hold her, trying to gain back some strength. She makes me so weak. I'm only soft and weak for her. I put my mouth next to her ear, keeping her into a firm hug. It isn't the right time to be doing this. Not only because of the funeral we just went to, but because we're also not alone in her house. There's people just outside her door and I'm pretty sure I didn't lock the door when I got in so they can just easily walk in and catch us doing something we don't want them to see.
“We shouldn't be doing this.” I whisper. “What if...your father comes in?”
She places a kiss on to my cheek and holds on to me in silence. I think the best thing for her right is rest. I know she must feel exhausted, but her body remains restless.
“I'll get your clothes.”
I let her go and make a dash for her dresser. I take out a pair of shorts and a white tank top. I help her put her clothing on and guide her to bed.
“You can change too if you want.” She says. “I have enough clothes for you to wear too.”
“I'll change once you're in bed.” I reply.
I gently lay her back into bed and pull the sheets up to her chest and kiss the top of her head. Her hand goes around my wrist just as I walk away.
“You're going to sleep with me right? It's ok to sleep here.”
I smile.
“Yeah I'll come with you. Just let me get dressed first.” I answer.
She lets go of my wrist and puts her arm back at her sides. I brush down her black hair and go to pull out a pair of clothes for me to settle in for the day. She lays there, waiting for me, wondering when I'll come join her again. She's still fragile and there's still many pieces to be picked up and put back together again. I'm willing to stay with her, until the very end. I quickly change and don't waste a second to hurry back over and crawl my way into her bed. I lay behind her and put my arm around her waist as we turn on our sides. Her hand goes over mine and I put my chin on to her shoulder. I hear her let out a soft sigh and her body sinks, feeling finally relaxed. This rest is just what she needs.
“I won't leave you.” I say.
Just as we both start to fall to sleep. I feel my heart ache at those words, reminding me that none of that statement is true. I might be leaving and I don't know when or how many days I have left. I hope I never meet the day when I have to leave and give up everything I've gained during my stay in Tokyo. I've bonded with my uncle, made better and more trustworthy friends, and fell in love with the most beautiful and sweetest girl I've ever seen in my life. These are things I would never want to just easily give up and would want to remember forever. Even this moment is precious despite Eri mourning over the death of someone close to her. This is something I can share with her and keep forever. It'll become a keepsake and maybe I can learn from this experience and something good can come from it. Right now it's just too bleak to see to see the last part.
Topic: This Thing Called Love(UPDATED 11/26/14) [COMPLETE] (Read 149911 times)