mayuyuXlyukirinlover13-san
i was crying when i read your os
you know, it's like, like what i felt.
my dad, he'd already gone too, when i was in middle school hahaha
When I left my room, I decided to eat, it was then I saw my living room fixed for the casket to be placed there. When I saw my mom crying as she eats, I wanted to cry but I have to be strong, for her.
I went inside the kitchen, with a semi clueless face.
I sat on a chair opposite to her and stared at her as if Nothing was happening.
" Mama, Maamaaa, what's for breakfast~?" I asked her.
"E-eggs and ham... Just go and eat, a-alright...?"
I just nodded. I acted as if it was any other day. My relatives would often ask if I was alright, if I was doing okay even though my father is dead. I would respond:
"Yeah, I'm, I'm alright"
"I'm doing fine~!"
"I'm okay"
Every response was true, I was doing okay. But I was wrong when I locked myself in my room. In a corner I sat and cried for him, holding a picture of my dad and I that was taken during my birthday.
I would call out for him to come back. I told him I still needed him. I wanted to bond with him. I was..
I was apologizing so much.
I regret not telling him I loved him so much, that... That I appreciate all the things he had done for me... I regretted not telling him this.
" You made a promise... You, you promised me we'd hang out again... We'd go jogging together... We'd play at the arcade at the mall... You promised you'd be by my side... Dad..."
'You promised me...
I made a fool of myself during his wake. Smiling, and doing the things I'd normally do.
"Dad... I'm sorry for everything... I'm sorry I yelled at you... I'm sorry that cou... Couldn't be by your s...s...side... Dad... I love you.... I hope you can hear me..." I whispered as my tears fell.
thankyou