(Keyakizaka46) Memories...do not open

[wafflekyun]

Collection of risaneru drables based on The Chainsmokers's Memories...do not open

(sad and lowkey trigger warning)


1. Last Day Alive

“Hold on.”

Neru said, balancing herself on the rim of the bridge. It was late at night, nobody was watching or driving down to the secluded bridge around the hospital. It was just her and her one friend, Risa. She was sick, mentally probably who knows, the both were sick. Crazy people, lunatics, society’s most hated person. The hospital smelled really bad, at least that’s what Neru thinks. It reeked death, the smell of alcohol hurt her nose. She was there for treatment, years of taking medicine wasn’t enough for her.

“Are we gonna jump?” Risa asked, her face unchanging. She looked down at Neru who’s wiggling her feet down to the point one of her sandal fell down into the river under.

“We are.” She said, whistling. They were both crazy patients, tired of their life, wanting to end it just now.

“When?” Risa asked again, sitting down.

“Soon.”

The cold wind of the night could easily brush their face, it’s shivering, but both of the girls stayed on their place. Wondering how it feels like to tasted the kiss of death. Suddenly Neru leaned forward, falling without any warning. It shocked the other girl, and grabbed her hand in a reflex movement.

“Neru!” She screamed, trying to hold the girl down. Desperately Risa held on to the rim of the bridge, when she realized she was too scared to jump.

“Let go.” Neru said calmly.

“No! I’ll jump with you… I’ll-“

“You can’t, you need to lived.”

Before Risa could even say anything, she let go.
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Run into the bright lights most nights, now or never
Always and forever the last day alive
The last day alive

[wafflekyun]

2. Something Just Like This

“I was wrong.” Neru said softly with her eyes swollen. She held on to her broken right arm, trying to make the pain go away. There was Risa lying on her bed with the condition quite the same as hers. They were alive, surprisingly, back to the hospital they both despised so much.

“About what?” Risa said, confused. Her hands trying to reach out for Neru and held it with her broken ones. She wasn’t sure how she was alive as well, she was planning to die just like Neru. Tho she was hesitating a bit before she finally let her grip go, failing into the river with the other girl.

“About all this. We’re alive. And hurt even more.” She said, leaning forward towards Risa’s sickbed.

“Are you glad?”

“I don’t know. But I’m glad you are alive.”

Risa’s eyes widened, it was a surprising answer. Neru was a witty girl, she hides her feelings well, yet she’s here telling her that she’s glad that Risa is alive. Strange.

“I don’t want to be alive or to be dead without you.” She said again, smiling.

“Me too.” Neru said. “I want to hear your heart beating.”

“Sure.”

She let the other girl came closer and rested her head on her chest. Neru could hear a soft, almost silent, sound of Risa’s thumping heart. It was calming, the sound and sign of a person being alive.

“Can we ever get out from this hell?” Neru said again, still having her head rested.

“Who knows? I’m not a superhero. I can’t save you.” Risa said, her hands softly patting Neru’s head.

“Doesn’t have to be one. I just want you to be here with me.”
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I'm not looking for somebody
With some superhuman gifts
Some superhero
Some fairytale bliss
Just something I can turn to
Somebody I can kiss
I want something just like this

[wafflekyun]

3. The One

“I love you.”

“I know.”

Risa said softly, snuggling the other girl resting on her chest. She sounded sleepy, perhaps drifting to sleep soon enough. The clock showed four digits of number, 23:30. It was late and it was time to sleep already, yet Risa was reluctant. Her mind didn’t let her to do so.

“You should sleep, Neru.” She said with her husky voice, kissing the other girl’s forehead softly. The girl reached out for her soft touch and Risa gave in. She kissed the girl on the lips before taking her to their bedroom.

It became tiring, what started as a wonderful journey of two desperate people coming together to save one another, became a dull routine she had to deal with. Neru wasn’t ready to leave her thoughts yet, she was occasionally thinking of jumping again and she didn’t want to quit. Was it the end yet? She wasn’t sure. She loved the girl, so much sometimes it hurts her. Risa felt like she was her own self again, before she was going to the hospital and before she met Neru. Things happened and she was cured, or at least she felt like that.

She was selfish, wanting to live by herself yet she said to Neru she still had some lingering thoughts of death. Neru was addicted to it, she clanged to it. She wanted to be sick and depressed forever, strange at it might sounds, it made her feel alive.

“I’m sorry.” Risa whispered softly, her eyes were teary.

She couldn’t deal with this anymore, she wanted to get out. She wanted to have a life she used to have back. She wanted to be alive and well and normal.

“I know.” Neru said, eyes slightly opened.

“You can go.”
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Down and down we go
We'll torch this place we know
Before one of us takes a chance
And breaks this, I won't be the one
No, I won't be the one

[wafflekyun]

4. Wake Up Alone

“You’re doing great today.”

Risa smiled, she thanked her passing boss while still keeping her head low. She was working now, it was a great job and the payment is decent. Friends comes along once she had her life back, something that’s been missing for a year or two. The memories while she was on the hospital wasn’t nice and the evil thoughts of death that was haunting her didn’t seems to come back these days. She was healthy, living her life well.

“Will you be going for dinner tonight?” Her co-worker asked her but she shook her head. She wasn’t exactly in the mood for a social party or to have a small talk with drinks and all. Alone is all she wanted for now.

“Unfortunately, no. I have something else to attend to.” She lied, a white one.

“Oh, sure. Good luck with that. See ya tomorrow.” Her co-worker said cheerfully, didn’t seem to mind Risa’s absence at all.

Was this temporary? She asked again to herself. She got clothes, got cars, got a job and got friends. She got a life she wanted, a new mind and thoughts. But when all the magic’s gone, would she be back trapped behind her thoughts?

She rested her body on her bed, daydreaming about things she didn’t want to. Her mind flied to the memories she didn’t want to open, or even think about. Her body moved by herself and she took a couple of sleeping pills to help ease the pain. Sleeping was her remedy and it still is.

The warmth of the bed helped her sleeps faster but it was lonely. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, she had someone she looked after. Someone to kiss and someone to shared things with. For once after a while she thought maybe those days wasn’t so bad at all. She missed her.

And the next day she found herself waking up.

Alone.
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Will you still care in the morning?
When the magic's gone, gone, oh?
And will you be there in the morning?
Do you stay when it all goes?
Or will I wake up alone?

[wafflekyun]

5. Honest

“Go home soon.”

“I will.”

She hanged up, continuing her focus on the road in front of her. It was 5 in the morning and she was exhausted from work. Radio was her only friend, accompanying her down the lonely street of the city. She knew Mona’s worried about her, it’s only natural to be worried when your girlfriend didn’t come home when it’s 5 a.m already.

They have been dating for a while, Mona was a friend of hers. They met at a party and thought they should just go out and now already living together on a flat. Risa had to admit that Mona is charming, someone on par with her. Witty, smart and composed. Didn’t it sound like someone she knew a long long time ago?

“This song again?” Risa said to herself, turning the volume of the radio higher. It was Neru’s favorite song, she knew it deep down. She missed her, a lot. She thought about her, a lot. She dreamt about her, a lot. The fleeting memories of the rusty hospital came back rushing like a flood of water. The thing she never told anyone, not even Mona. Her hidden past, her shameful past. The past that belongs only to Neru and her.

“Is she still on the same hospital?” She wondered again, never really sure. It’s really been a while and she never heard from Neru ever since she left the hospital. She left her therapist a long time ago and her job keeps her busy to even went for a drive around the same hospital.

“I miss you.” She smiled a bit, reminiscing the bad times she went through. It’s like a double-edge blade. Hell, which feels more like heaven.

She didn’t realize she was this close to home and she pulled away to her garage. The door was easily opened and she was greeted with a warm big hug.

“I’m home.”

“Welcome home.”
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And I'm not gonna tell you that I'm over it
'Cause I think about it every night I'm not sober, and
I know I keep these feelings to myself
Like I don't need nobody else
But you're not the only one on my mind

[niineechan]

Almost. .
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My tears almost fall down.
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O GAWD. I'm being sentimental.
I want more.
Break my heart with ur stories, please..

[Gekikara chan]

This is  just so sad! So much in  little writing
Plz do more!

[wafflekyun]

6. Bloodstream

“Time to take you medicine.”

Neru smiled to the familiar nurse on the edge of the ajar door, she was simply asking her to do her routine. She got up from her bed reluctantly, putting her pink cardigan and opened the door fully. The nurse gave her several pills and a bottle of mineral water for her to drink. The girl finished it in one go, something that wasn’t surprising at all.

“How are you feeling?” The nurse asked her briefly, preparing to take notes to report to the doctor.

“Sleepy.” Neru answered, unbothered.

“Must be because of the drugs. Oh well, we’ll be watching you very closely anyway.” She said again, putting her note down.

“Sure.” Neru closed the door, returning to her bed. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, she was also supposed to be cured along with Risa. Or at least be dead when she tried to nearly jump again and again on this past months. She was released for a bit, her family thought she was getting better. But she wasn’t, the thoughts came back and she just couldn’t bear it. The voices she heard on her head, the ecstatic feeling she felt upon seeing the river below her feet. It was gruesome to some people and she was seen crazy by all of her family. She’s brought here again, sometimes they let her go home tho for once in a while, but mostly she was drugged to keep her tamed and sane.

“I know you’re smart enough to get out from this situation.” The doctor once said it yet she couldn’t believe.

“I’m sick.”

“You’ll never be well if you always think like that.”

“I know there are drugs to cure people like me…. Or maybe… someone.”

“Who?”

“Risa.” She said softly.

“Why?”

“Because I said I loved her and still do till now.”
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I'm fucked up, I'm faded
I'm so complicated
Those things that I said
They were so overrated
But I-I-I-I-I-I, yeah, I meant it
Oh yeah, I-I-I-I-I-I, really fucking meant it

[TomonagaMio755]

I love this and it's make me cry

I like TechiNeru, Nerisa and Yukanen Pair

Keep going author san

[Shinoki]

It's been a while since I've been on this site... but... nnghhh, this is a really good fic. Pains my heart, but... RisaNeru...