Hello all~~
I'm relieved that the os didn't took a reaallyy long time
since I hold another 2 long fic and another os on my laptop right now, and the homework, and... preparing for UN *indonesian people will know it
I'm reallly busy and I thought I can't made it,
but I made it!!
so here it is!
please forgive me for any grammars and typing that wrong and if the story isn't that good.
well, here it is, douzo~~
====
Winter has arrived. Snow starts to fall down; pouring earth slowly. But even in this kind of weather,a little girl still sitting down on the bench at the park. Her face become redder because of the cold weather.
But then, a girl with boyish appearance approaching her,
“Rena-chan, wanna build a snow man?”
The little girl that the boyish girl just called ‘Rena-chan’ raised her head to see the boyish girl face. The boyish girl showed her best smile to her.
“Come on, let’s become friends to the snow!”
The boyish girl took Rena’s hand then pulled her to the snowfield at the park.
“A-Ano, Jurina-chan, I-I’m sorry. I-I don’t know if it’s alright...”
“Of course it’s alright! We’re friends right?”
----
“Rena! It’s time to get up!”
Ugh, is it morning? I try to search for my glasses. Ha! Found it! Then I strech my body for a while and walking to the window. So it’s already winter, huh? So that’s maybe the reason I got that dream again. Every first day of winter, I’ll get that dream. That dream when for the first time someone, or who I called Jurina, being my first best friend.
She’s a smart, pretty, and cheerful girl. So of course, many people will love to hang out and befriend with her. And me? A clumsy and quiet person who doesn’t had any friend. It’s kinda weird to know that a girl like her want to befriend with a girl like me. She always said, ‘we never need a reason to befriend with someone!’ and so, that make her the first and last friend I ever had in my life.
But since we go to the middle school. We kinda not get along really well. She choosed a different school with me. Well, I forgot to say that she’s a rich girl. So she goes to an elite school while me, of course I’ll choose a normal school. Since that time, I can’t contact her anymore.
And now, I’ve already in high school, a ‘normal’ high school. I know you all will never expected me in a prestigious school. It just a normal high school. Futhermore, I don't like to be in a famous one. I’m not that smart and rich, so a normal high school is enough for me. Then, being away from Jurina is kinda good too. I can escape from the reality. That I had something for her.
I love her.
I’m not really sure when is the first time that I realized, that I love her. It’s been a long time since we’ve become friend. Even know my feeling for her was just a kids feeling. I know it’s real. Even if we’re just a 6th grade on a primary school, I’m sure it’s true. This feeling, from that time until now, it’s still stayed in my heart.
“Rena? Are you already awake?”
“I’ll go to downstair in a couple minutes mom!”
I start prepare my self for going to school. Huh, another same day. Wake up, took a bath, prepare my self to go to school. But maybe, the different right now just that the snow already fall down.
“Do you still remember me, Jurina?”
----
“I heard that our class will have a new student! I heard she’s really beautiful and she’s from a rich family! It’s really rare to see someone from a rich family want to be in to normal school.”
“and then, it’s really rare to see there’s a new student in the middle of semester like this, ne?”
The girl in the class keep gossiping about that new student. Well, it’s true that it’s rare to see there’s a new student in the middle of semester. So maybe this girl is from an important family.
“Class, please sit to your own seat. We had a new classmate now.”
Sensei come in to the class. Ah, so it’s true ne,,
“You can come in now.”
So then the new girl entered the class. Eh, wait,, is it true? Or maybe my sight become worse than before?
“Please introduce yourself.”
“Matsui Jurina desu, yoroshiku onegaishimasu ne!”
Matsui... Jurina?
“Uwah! She’s the daughter of that Matsui Corp. owner!”
“Is it true?! I never know that she’s ‘that’ beautiful!”
“Silent please, Matsui-san, you can sit over there, beside the window and Matsui Rena-san. Class, I’m sorry I must go back to the office, maybe I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
I-I can’t believe it!! She’s here! She’s really beautiful... W-Well, she looks like a boy when she was at elementary school, so it’s surprised me to see her became this beautiful. Her short boyish hair became this long.
“Matsui Rena? Rena-chan? Ehh, it’s really you! I never know that you’re in this school!”
Jurina suddenly running towards my direction then hug me thightly. E-Eh, s-she remember me? I-I thought it just me who keep remember about her. I-I’m... how to say it ehh, I’m really happy!!
“Psstt, is she had some relationship with her?”
“Maybe? She has a same surname with Matsui overthere.”
N-No, people keep talking about me and Jurina. W-What should I do?
“J-Jurina, w-why are you choose this school instead of that prestigious school? I-I thought you always f-following your parents.”
“It’s because of you of course! You always said that you don't want to be on a famous school, and that make me curious about a normal school. But I never know that you’re in this school too! I’m really happy!! You don't know that these 3 years I’ve been waiting for you on that park.”
E-Eh, but I never saw her whenever I passed that park.
“E-Eto, J-Jurina, our classmate keep looking at us right now. C-Can you release y-your arms from m-me?”
“Yada~ I really miss you!! Why are you never going to that park again at these past 3 years? You know that I love you, right?”
Uwah?! A sudden confession?!!
“Are they a couple? I never know that the daughter of Matsui Co. owner is liking a girl like her.”
“Maybe that Matsui just want to take her money and then dumped her.”
Yabai, they start gossiping again. I-I’ve already familiar with these kind of thing like gossip or bullying. But for Jurina, she can’t get that bad gossip, she’s the successor of Matsui Co. If her father know about it, who knows right? Maybe her father will force her to go back to her old ‘famous’ school or even studying abroad.
“Stop it.”
Suddenly Jurina stood up,
“Stop saying bad things about Rena-chan, she’s my friend and I trust her. She never doing bad things to me. Instead she always show me many good things to learn.”
J-Jurina, you make it worse!!
“That Matsui already brainwashed her, I think.”
See?!!
----
The class ended, so now is the break time.
And Jurina can’t stop being near me.
I start walking to the park bringing my bento while Jurina still following right behind me. As usual, I sat on a bench near the tree in the middle of the park.
“Rena-chan, why don't you eating inside the class like the other? It’s really cold at outside you know. The snow already fall down.”
“Well, the class was always,... I don't know, I just don't like it. So I prefer to being in here compared to class.”
She nooded softly then following me; sitting on the bench.
“Well, this park looks alike the park that when we first become a friend, right? Ahh, you like being here because of it~”
God, I’m busted.
I keep silent
“Rena-chan, how about we’re going to that park today? It’s been a long time since we go there together, ne? I miss playing there!”
Ahh, so she miss that time too. I thought I’m just the one who still remember that.
“Okay then.”
----
Huh~ finally, time to go back to home! I opened the shoes rack door and find a letter above my shoes.
“Stop being clingy to Jurina. Do you think you’re that great, huh? You just be a burden for her. Just go back to your self, Jurina never needs you. Do it if you want you and Jurina safe.”
That’s what written on that paper.
Well, maybe it’s true. From elementary, I just become a burden for her. I always got bullied and she always help me. I always alone and she’s the one who want to befriend with me. She always give her time for me, and what can I do is just standing there, watching her. Even I can’t say anything to her.
That writer who make this letter is true. I should go away from Jurina. At least, I still can see her from behind. Even if it just her back, even if I can’t see her face.
“Rena? Why are you still here? Is there something?”
I hide the letter and start put on my shoes.
“I... Nothing, a-ano, I think I can’t go to that park right now. I just remember that I must doing something right now.”
“Okay then, do you want me to accompany...”
“No, I appreciate your kindness, but I’m fine. I must go now.”
“Huh, okay then, take care on your way Rena-chan.”
And since that day, I always avoid her.
Everytime I saw her when walking to school or even at school, I took a different way or turn back. Everytime she invite me to go to park, ,I said that I’m busy or have another work to do. Everytime she tried to talk to me, I will make an excuse to avoid her. But she keep clingy to me.
Being like this, even thought it’s for my sake and hers, it still hurts.
I’m on my way to go to my locker. As always, it’s already quiet;since I always go home after everyone already go to their home. It’s always...
“Oi, Matsui.”
Eh, somebody calling me? It’s rare...
“Y-Yes?”
I turn my back to see who’s calling me. There’s 2 girls, both of them has a long hair and tall figure. Who are they?
“How stupid, just look at you, I can’t believe that Jurina-san wants to befriend with you. You’re just a normal girl. There’s nothing special on you. Do you brainwashed Jurina-san? I think that’s true.”
“Yeah, you’re nothing when compared to us.”
“I-I...”
“I still confused, where she got that power to brainwashed someone, selling her body?”
No, no,...
“Stop it.”
J-Jurina?
“you both talk like you know everything about me and her. Now listen to me, she never brainwashed me, she never doing something stupid like what you both doing right now, she even higher than you. And the last one, she never sell her body to me! How awful, maybe it’s you both who do that.”
“M-Matsui-san..”
“Now go, I don't want to see your face, again.”
They both immediately leave me with Jurina. T-That’s... I’ve had always being bullied from elementary, but that one is the first time I got bullied bluntly. And that’s, scared me. I tried to hold back my tears, but slowly it starts to flow down to my cheeks. Jurina immediately running to me.
“Hey, are you okay?”
I don't replied her words, I just keep crying.
“Stop crying, okay? It’s already fine now. They’re never disturb you again. And if they keep doing it, I’ll be there for you. Everything will be fine.”
“I’m sorry Jurina. *hiks* I always being a burden to you. If just *hiks* I had that strenght, to protect my self, I don't need to bring you into a mess like this. *hiks* I’m really sorry.”
I keep repeating ‘sorry’ to her, even know that she already said that it’s fine. I just need to keep repeating that words. I’ve made her always worrying about me. Even she worrying about me more than her own self. I’m such a bad friend.
out of the blue, Jurina suddenly peck me right on my lips. M-My first kiss...
Jurina stole my first kiss?!!
“Hehe, now stop crying, okay?”
She starts to caress my hair. Like the old days, her way to calm me down always same. Telling me everything will be fine, and starts caressing my hair. This is make me feel, nostalgic. Remembering the old days. When she will always being my hero, even until now.
It made me realize, I really miss her. I miss her so much.
“When you have nothing to do, let’s go to that park ,okay?”
While keep sniff, I nodded softly to her. She showed her wide smile to me.
“Now, let’s go home~”
----
Today, I and Jurina are going to the park. Well, she insisted me to go there, so I just following her. And, actually I’m enjoying it. Walking with her, side by side, while arms brushing every second. And then, her cheerful personality make it’s never being bored to walking with her.
Now, we arrive at the park.
“Ah~ I miss the time when we always playing in there. And, just look at it, it’s still look like 6 years ago!”
Jurina excitedly running all over the park while her wide smile never left her face. I just silently watching her from afar. It just, I really love to watch her like this. I know we’re just friends, and when she said love to me, it just a friendly love. It’s love as a friend, love as a best friend. I know I can’t have her as my girlfriend. So the last thing I could do is, always make her happy, while looking at her from afar like this.
“Rena-chan? Is everything okay? You seems always spacing out everytime we’re together.”
But, actually I never ask her about that words. She never talk to me about that either. Maybe, just maybe...
No, I’m just imagining things. She just love me as a friend. That’s it, she just love me as a friend.
“Rena-chan?”
But ask her about it will not be a problem, right? I’m just, curious.
“Rena-chan!”
“Ah-Eh, Jurina?”
I snapped from my thoughts and realized that Jurina’s face is just a few centimeters away from mine. Uwah... Even I can feel her breath right on my lips. I know my face will looks really weird now.
“Mou, you’ve been ignoring me for... I don't know, 10 minutes?”
We sit with that position about a seconds, without talking with each other, just looking at each other. When seeing her from close like this, she looked more beautiful. Really, really beautiful. then suddenly Jurina took of my glasses and put it beside me.
“You should wear an contact lense, you look really beautiful without that glasses.”
She’s.. She’s praising me?
“I-I mean, I-It’s not like you’re not beautiful with that glasses. I-I mean, y-you always look b-beautiful with everything y-you wear.”
‘PUFF’
Uwahh, I believe my face is just as red as a red tomato. She’s really praising me!
She immediately stood up while... fixing her hair? I think there’s nothing wrong with her hair. As always, it’s look really soft. Ahh, now I have this feeling that really want to touch her hair, and stroke it gently. Come on, Rena! Don't imagining things to much!
But then, that question appear again in my head. About that love words from her. Asking about it never be a problem, right?
“J-Jurina, ano...”
“Hmm?”
“Y-You often said that y-you love me, w-what love is it?”
“I-Of course it’s because we’re friend! Friends must love each other, right Rena?”
Right, it’s because we’re friend. There’s nothing more between us. This is stupid. I shouldn’t being like this. Of course it’s because we’re friend! She will never love someone like me, right? She’s rich, kind, smart, cheerful, and beautiful girl. Even thought there’s nothing perfect in this world, I think she’s the only one that perfect in this world. And me? I’m just an ordinary girl, with an ordinary skills, and common life. I’m just dreaming things.
“Rena, hey, you’re spacing out again.”
“S-Sorry, I must go now. I just remember that I need to cook for dinner.”
“Sure..?”
I just run away without waiting her answer. I run as fast as I can. My tears starts to flowing down to my cheeks. It’s awful, when you hoped for something that you already know I can’t be happen. You know you’ll be hurt, but you just pretend that it’s alright and keep that feeling for a long time. It’s sounds really stupid, right? But somehow, until now, I keep do that.
I reach my house. I took out the keys, open the door, get in, and close it. After I locked it, I put my forehead to the door. Crying silently at it, as if the door is someone that I really want to hug right now. Maybe right now and until tomorrow ends, I can’t face Jurina again. I’ve lost my courage right after running to come to here.
“Rena-chan, what’s wrong?” Mom approached me with her worried face, no, I don't want to make someone worried about me again.
“It’s *hiks* It’s nothing, mom. I’m fine.” I tried to forced a smile, but I think I failed. Mom just looked more worried.
“Come on, tell me about it. There’s nothing that a mother can’t do to their kids.”
So I tell everything to mom. I really mean ‘everything’ in here. From my love to Jurina since kids and until now, about how she’s become my classmate again, about how she always be there for me everytime, about how I think that maybe she will love me to. And she’s hearing me silently while hugging me and stroking my hair gently. When she hearing my stories about Jurina, she sometimes chuckling and I keep pouted whenever she’s chuckling.
Actually I’m a little afraid to tell about my love stories to mom. Since I and Jurina are both girls. Maybe she can’t accept it, and like at the films, she’ll kick me out from house. But, I believe at mom, I believe that she’ll never do that things to me.
“Mouu, it’s not funny mom.”
“You don't need to be perfect to loving someone. If he/she really love you. They’ll accept you whoever you are, what ever your job is, or what kind of person you are.”
“And when you love someone, no matter how rich they are, how smart they are, what gender they have, it’s never be a problem. As long as you love him/her deeply from the bottom of your heart.”
“I happy that it’s Jurina. Even if you both girls, it’s not a problem. Since kids, she always tried to protect you. Even it’s not rare to find that if she’s carry you on her back when walking to house because you’re fall to the ground and your knee is bleeding or sometimes you’re too scared to even walking.”
Mom said while chuckling. She pulled off our hug then patted me gently.
“Don’t hold it all by yourself, okay? I’m always here, and Jurina always there for you.”
----
Even if mom said that I musn’t hold it all by myself, I really can’t tell it to Jurina. I really lost my courage since the last time I talked to her. Since that day, I start to avoiding her again. At the morning, I choosed to be silent all the time, and well, other ‘so called’ classmates always tried to talk to Jurina, so it’s really helped me. At break, I choose to be at the rooftop since Jurina never know that place. And when the school over, I immediately took my bike and start pedaling as fast as I can so she can’t followed me.
But one day, she start to know the rooftop and found me being at there.
“Found you.”
I heard her voice while I turned back to see her face. It’s been a long time since last time I really look to her face clearly. As always, she looked really beautiful. While the wind keep blowing, she keep walking approaching me.
“Why you avoiding me again, Rena?”
“I’m not avoiding you, I just...”
I looked to the ground. I can’t faced her. I’m too ashamed to face her.
“Just what? Rena you start to not pay attention to me, you’re never look at my face and just ignore my words. That time I just think ‘is your book really interesting that made you ignoring me?’ but then, you start to going anywhere that I don't know where it is and when school over you rushed to go back to your house.”
I just keep silent
“Since middle school I always want to be in the same school as you, but my parents always make me being in the school that they choosed. I’m give up. But then suddenly my mom said that I can choose my school for high school if I don't like being there. So here I am now, I never know that you will be here too. I’m really happy that make me can’t stop smiling.”
“Time flews, we become like the old days. But then that time, you ask me about the word ‘love’ that I always said to you. I’m afraid if I tell you that, you’ll avoiding me like this. I’m afraid that you’ll never want me to be your best friend again. You’ll think that I’m disgusting to love a girl.”
Wait. S-She love a girl?
“ ‘I love you, Rena! I love you not as bestfriend. I love you deeply from my heart as a girl who catch my heart.’ I want to tell you that. But my brain hold me to said that and my mouth just said like what my brain prosessed. Then you run away like that and I can’t forgive my self to tell you lies. Since kids, you’re the one that I love. You’re the one who I always want to protect until the end of my life. I always want to be your guardian, to protect you from everything. You just like my angel, Rena.”
She touched my chin and then lifted my head. She connect our foreheads together and put her hands to my waist.
“Please, don’t go away again. I-I don't know what to do anymore if you’re not by my side.”
She peck my lips,
“Stay on my side.”
I pulled her for a kiss. At first she’s not reply it but then she reply it with passion, and lust. It turned to be a long passionated kiss. Both of us want to dominated the kiss. But then, because the lack of oxygen, we pulled off.
“That’s, the same words I always want to tell you.”
“I love you too, Jurina.”
She suddenly hold my shoulders,
“So we’re official now?”
“Of course, you silly.”
“Yatta!!! I love you Rena!”
“Hmm, hmm...”
She pulled me for a hug, then we’relook into each other eyes. She hold my cheek and pulled me for another kiss. It’s not like the same kiss we shared just a few minutes ago. It just a sweet kiss with our love poured into it.
“I’ll be here for you, for eternity. I’ll protect you no matter what happen.”
“Then I’ll be here to give you courage, to always being your strenght.”
This time, I’ll be brave. I might not have that power to protect her too. But I’ll be her strenght, I’ll be her happiness. For the rest of my life.
====
i'll be working for different and unknown now