Title: Distraction
So it comes down to this? This is where everything I’ve ever known and cared for ends, isn’t it? Everything is too far from my grasp it seems. I never would have pictured it this way a long time ago and a part of me still can’t. I know I don’t feel for her.
I don’t love her. Then why do I keep coming back? Why do I let her do whatever she pleases with me? She has this control over me and it doesn’t scare me. Not anymore it does.
I can’t feel anything anymore really. The pain has made me numb. There aren’t many things I can feel no longer. I can barely feel the cool air blowing against my hot skin as I stand in the balcony doorway completely naked. I figured a few minutes into the cold air like this would somehow help me cope and relax tonight, but I've stood here for over five minutes and still nothing has happened.
My chances to forget about a event that happened not to long ago where I am isn't looking too hopeful. I gaze through the balcony door as my last attempt to clear my mind. The night is clear and few stars litter the sky like tiny orbs of bright hope. It's too bad all mine is crushed. And now those stars are only a mockery of my once closest dreams.
I really hate how things came to be, but there’s no point in crying over it. I turn my attention back to the woman on my bed sleeping peacefully. I wish every time it’s Ai instead that’s on my bed, but it never is. She never will be Ai and that hurts me. It kills me inside constantly.
It hurts how I want Ai so bad and love her so much yet she will never know. She won’t notice and never feel the same for me. I’ve waited so long for her confession. I’m tired of waiting and dreaming. I’m tired of being let down.
But despite all those feelings she brings within me, I still love her. I still want her. I want Ai to be the one to kiss me, hug me, and touch me in places I’ve already been touched before by the girl in my bed. I know that with Ai everything will be different. It’ll be new.
It’ll feel like it’s my first time again. She’ll awaken my body from its slumber and I wouldn’t have this lie surrounding me, drowning me. I’ll be able to live again. But there goes me pretending again. I'm only thinking she’ll come to me like my prince charming and profess her love to me.
That’s all in my head, but I can make believe can’t I? Fairy tales are nice, even if they can never happen. I sigh and lean against the door frame, daydreaming about the girl I want the most. As I think, I feel soft arms tangle around my waist. I snap out of my thoughts and stand still.
The pair of hands travels slowly up my stomach and to my breast. The pair of arms then start to pull me away from the open door and I feel a naked body press against my back. Her skin is so soft and warm. I feel my body begin to relax into these arms on its own at the feel of her creamy flesh to mine. I always keep in mind though that these hands aren’t Ai’s. I won’t fool myself anymore.
The girl nuzzles into my neck and places a delicate kiss on the crook of my neck, making me sigh. These are responses I no longer have any control over. I let my body do whatever it wants.
“It’s a little chilly. You mind closing that door?” She whispers.
“Sorry, I couldn’t sleep.” I apologize, I reach out and close it.
She smiles against my neck and holds me firmly in her arms. I feel her lips against my ear then she bites the soft skin to my ear gently. My body sparks with desire once again. I know where this is going. The same place it always goes to every night.
“Mmm, since we’re up we might as well start round two.” She purrs.
“Not right now Miki.” I growl.
She chuckles ignoring my demand.
“You always play hard to get, Mame-chan.” She licks the side of my neck slowly and I shiver. “I know you want this.”
Her two hands firmly grab my breast and I let out a small moan as a reflex. I hate how she is always right and how she can easily get me to submit. I should be stronger and push her away, but I never do because a part of me does like this. It’s hard to explain, but I guess it’s the easy way to help me cope for just a while. Her hands massage my breast in an affectionate manner.
She knows me well enough to do this with care. It doesn't matter if she doesn’t love me. As long as she acts like she does it’s fine. She pinches my nipples for a second and I cry out in pleasure. Her hands scrap down my stomach, leaving red marks and welts behind. My body shivers and Goosebumps start to show on my skin. I can’t fight back any longer and I’m sure she knows that.
“I mean it Miki, not tonight.” I faintly speak.
My voice is shaky no matter how hard I try to hide it. She’ll know what I really want deep inside.
“You say that all the time too.” She laughs.
She spins me around and kisses me roughly. Her tongue thrusts into my mouth and I tangle my tongue with hers. Her hands grab my butt, making my breath hitch. She walks me back towards the bed as we kiss. Then pushes me on to the mattress, ending our kiss.
She quickly gets on top of me, pinning me to the bed. There’s no point in fighting back now. She won’t let me go, no matter what I say. She grabs my hands and puts them over my head, then dips down to kiss my neck again. The grip on my wrist tightens and I flinch.
I lay there as she bites me, marking me as hers. I cringe when she bites a little too hard. She doesn’t seem to notice though. She’s too busy getting what she wants to see. When she’s satisfied with her work, she lets go of my wrist and kisses me again. It’s a little softer this time.
I think she’s rough with me to remind me that she isn’t Ai and nor will she try to be. I know Ai would never be this rough or this brave for that matter to do these things to me, but I don’t want to think about her right now. Miki bites on my bottom lip harder than usual and it causes my lip to break and bleed. It hurts at first, but she starts sucking on it to dull the pain. The tip of her tongue brushes over the cut several times, lapping up the blood.
I moan and wrap my arms around her back. She ends our kiss and looks intensely into my eyes. I turn my head to the side and close my eyes. She laughs and grabs my chin, then forces me to look at her.
“Just remember Mame, that I’m not your precious Ai-chan. I never will be.” She whispers, and then lets go of my face.
I look at her hurt as I let those words sink in. She never will be, but then why do I keep coming back? Why do I let her dominate me like this? I feel her hands slid down my chest, to my stomach, then to my thighs. She doesn’t waste any time and spreads my legs widely apart.
Her eyes flicker and glow darkly as she reaches the place she wants the most. My body begins to overheat and flush with excitement. My breath gets heavy and short. My chest feels tight.
“But for tonight, you can pretend.” She permits.
Her hand goes on to the inner side of my thigh, as it gets closer. My body feels like it’s about to burst. I want this more than I think. It’s almost like a drug. It feels like I need this. I need this rush and thrill to keep my mind off the pain. She’s my drug.
“Ai will never do this to you. She will never make you feel this good like I do.”
I close my eyes tight as she enters me with two fingers and I hold my breath to get use to it inside. Sometimes she’s rough sometimes she’s gentle. It depends on how her mood is. Today, she’s feeling a little feisty, but it doesn’t hurt. There’s this dull pain that makes it feel good and even a little exciting.
It gives it a little edge. I close my eyes and let out a shaky breath. My hands cling on to her for support. The bed starts to creak and her fingers work faster. I yell out and dig my nails into her soft flesh. My body is burning as this pleasant feeling course through me rapidly. My body starts to heat and I can feel beads of sweat starting to form.
“It’s nothing, but skin on skin.” Miki hisses.
I tune her voice out of my head and close my eyes. It feels like my whole body is on fire. It isn’t long before I’m screaming her name, but as it comes I try to picture Ai doing all these things to me. And instead of these hard words being spoken to me, it’s Ai’s voice I hear telling me sweet and loving things. In my head, she’s telling me how beautiful I am and how much she loves.
She tells me how much I mean to her. I’m her world and she’s mine. I let out another groan and exhale. I picture Ai’s face looking down at me as she pleasures me. In her eyes she has this light, this loving glow, unlike Miki’s cold and ghostly ones.
I have this whole story planned out in my head in detail. I bite my bottom lip, forgetting about the cut that’s left there and more blood seeps through the small slash. My body lifts off the bed in a high arch and I yell out. It takes me a lot to call out Miki’s name instead of Ai’s, but I call out the right name this time and that pleases her. I lay back into the bed trying to control my breathing and slowly open my eyes.
I see Miki above me, smirking. She puts her fingers into her mouth, carefully sucking the juices that are left behind.
“You taste so sweet Risa.” She coos.
She places a kiss on the top of my head and gets off me. I lay there still trying to recover. When we’re done she sometimes leaves or stays. I wonder what she’ll choose this time. I feel the bed lower to added weight.
She’s going to stay. I lay there with the blanket hanging over the side of the bed. I’m too hot to put it over me. I need to cool down. I’m drenched in sweat.
My hair sticks to my head as I lay there. I know why I let her do all these things to me. It’s because I need them. I need her to be rough with me and tell me these cruel things. She helps me. She helps me forget. She’s my distraction.
Topic: Distraction[One-shot] (Miki/Risa) (Read 5616 times)