Glad that you all like the first part, and as to who the person was hopefully this second part will give you answers
Part 2: Regret
I could feel someone staring at me and from the corner of my eye I thought I saw you but you turned around and walked off. Looking at you disappear, I didn’t feel right because I missed your presence. ‘Sorry’ was all I can think. If only I had the courage now, I wanted to tell you that I want you back in my life but I am scared, scared that you won’t take me back. I wanted to tell you after I broke it off with Reina but it seems like when I try to get near you, you would turn around or avoid me. I can understand why though because that is how I treated you at first. I didn’t know what to do at the time, I needed my time and space and I knew it would hurt you but I was selfish in a sense. Every time I look at you it reminded me of that night…
Flashback
I had come home from work a little earlier than usual and the first thing I noticed were Reina’s shoes. Reina hasn’t been home early recently so I was happy and decided to scare her as I tiptoed around the house. I couldn’t find Reina until I thought I heard some shuffling upstairs, so I tiptoed my way and followed the sounds. I could barely make out the sounds because they had gotten quieter as I inched closer and closer to our bedroom. I put my hand on the doorknob and that was when I heard the giggling. I was heating up real quick, probably quicker than a microwave dinner. I knew Reina had her and I could pretend that I know nothing because I loved Reina but to bring her home to OUR house and on OUR bed, it was the last straw. I barged in just to see them both naked under the covers, shocked look on Reina’s face. I didn’t bother to say anything, I bolted out of there, I could hear Reina calling after me but I just ran. It began to rain but I didn’t care, it made me feel good running in this rain. I hadn’t thought of where to go except the one person that would always be there for me and do anything for me, you.
Throughout the time I was running to your place my tears were falling mixing into the rain. I stood before your door and knocked hoping you weren’t busy. You always managed to make me feel better anytime I felt upset, it was just natural for me to smile when I was with you. When you opened the door all it took was one look and you didn’t say anything but led me to the livingroom. I sat down staring at the floor and you walked away. When I felt you presence you had come back with a towel and a mug. You helped me dry my hair as I took sips of the hot cocoa that you gave me. You took off again and this time you came back with some dry clothes. You helped me discard the wet clothing and I put on the dry ones. It is times like this when I wished Reina could be more like you, unfortunately she isn’t
“Eri, do you feel okay about telling me what happened?”
I was ready but my throat felt dry and I didn’t know if I should tell you in all honesty. You already don’t like her so I didn’t know what would happen if I did but it makes me feel safe and comfortable telling you otherwise I wouldn’t be here right?
“I had a fight with her tonight”
“Again? What is it about this time?” You were the only person I would always tell my problems, especially the problems with Reina, so it was normal for you to get annoyed
I took a deep breath, “about her other home”, she looked at me shocked. At the mention of the reason, an image of them together in our shared room flashed before me and I couldn’t help but feel like crying again. I kinda figured that you would be shocked because I was the one that made her promise to pretend that we saw and know nothing about Reina cheating on me, the first time we caught her. Call me stupid and ignorant but I really, really love Reina at time and I don’t want to lose her, giving her excuses like it being a one-time thing and after this she will regret and stay faithful to me “I confronted her tonight” I continued
I knew that you were protective over me and I am happy about that but sometimes you take things a little overboard and I am afraid that you will blurt it out to Reina. I would always hold you back from saying anymore because it makes things difficult for me when you say things to Reina in which upsets Reina. Luckily for me, you would always stop when I give that pleading look, the respect and promises you make I can trust because I know they are golden.
“But why? I thought you didn’t want to tell her you knew? Don’t take it the wrong way, you should’ve confronted her a long time ago but what caused you to do so tonight?” you asked and indeed multiple times you have hinted that I should confront Reina but don’t you understand? If I confront Reina, there would be a chance that I would lose her.
“I…I…I caught them in OUR room, on OUR bed” I started crying again and immediately you sat closer bringing my head to your shoulders so I could cry. That was one of the great qualities you had. I could rely and depend on always in any situation. “Can I stay here tonight?” I didn’t fell like going home because I wasn’t ready to face Reina at the moment.
“You can stay here but what are you going to do? What do you plan on doing?”
“I…I don’t really know. I was so upset that I just ran”
“Eri, listen to me, leave her! She isn’t faithful to you and you are suffering” you took my hands in yours. I felt warmth, warmth that I haven’t felt in so long and you made me look into your beautiful brown eyes, “it hurts to see you suffer and you deserve better”
“But…but she loves me…I know she does!” I know it doesn’t sound like I’m sure but I really wanted to believe it, it was the only way that would keep Reina with me. I know I am running away from reality but I just can’t let go. Reina loves me, I know she does…right?
“Eri, wake up already! If she truly loves you she wouldn’t cheat and there are people in this world that would be honored and lucky to have you as their girlfriend…like me” At those last words, I felt warm, luscious lips collide onto my own. I wasn’t expecting this and I didn’t know what to do so I slapped you on the face. ‘You love me?? No this can’t be happening! I love Reina but if I still do then when did it feel so right yet so wrong? Because I didn’t want to stoop as low as Reina?’ I didn’t know what to do, I was shocked and scared, slowly inching myself away noticing that you have not turned your face to look at me yet from the slap I just delivered.
“Sorry you can stay here for the night. I am going out and won’t be back until tomorrow afternoon. You know where everything is” you got up and left the house leaving me alone, without looking back at me.
I just sat there looking at the non-existing back of my bestfriend. ‘I’m sorry but now you just added to my confusion. I know I am selfish but I really can’t deal with all this’. I curled up in a ball and cried thinking of the events of the night. In a sense I wanted to call you back but it was if my throat was closed, nothing would come out. I don’t know what to do, I feel secured, safe and loved when I am with you but I love Reina right? But does Reina still love me? I know I have been giving Reina excuses for her actions time and time again and I am starting to get tired, can I still keep this up forever? And what about my bestfriend? I don’t know what my feelings are…you’re sweet, protective, reliable, caring, always been there for me but I don’t want to accept your feelings if I don’t know what my true feelings are, it would be unfair for you. It is the least I could do, to be honest with you as opposed to using you. I cried and cried thinking that in one night I lost Reina and my bestfriend.
I was awoken at the sound of my cell ringing, I must have fallen asleep from the crying, I fumbled trying to find my phone but at the end I managed to pick up the phone “moshi moshi”
“Eri, honey, keep your dog on a leash, will ya?”
It’s Reina! I knew she would come back to me! “What are you talking about?”
“Your bestfriend!!!!”
“What about my bestfriend?”
“She just punched me. Look its not what you think. It was a mistake, can we talk about this? I’m sorry! I really am! I love you too much to lose you”
I was happy that I was right, ‘Reina does love me and she doesn’t want to lose me, but wait did she just say that you hit her??’ “She punched you? Oh my god are you okay?” ‘How could you do that?’ “Where are you? I can come get you”
“NO! Don’t!...er…I mean don’t worry I’m fine, I am going back to the office tonight, got a project to finish. Let’s talk tomorrow okay?”
“Are you insane? How can you still go to work when you’re hurt?”
“You know how deadlines are, babe. I’ll be fine I promise”
“Okay you take care and call me if you need anything”
“I will. Bye” ~CLICK~
I was upset how could you punch Reina???!!!! You knew that I would never want that to happen. ‘What was she thinking? Was it because I slapped her that’s why she decided to punch Reina?’ I was getting more and more upset at you for hurting someone I love. I knew she wasn’t coming home tonight so it was pointless for me to wait up for her. I went and took a shower before falling asleep on your bed.
The next morning I changed back into my own clothes after making sure they were dry, and waited for you to show up. ‘She shouldn’t have punched Reina because I slapped her, that had nothing to do with Reina’ I called Reina telling her that we will have to talk later, considering the fact that I had to wait for your appearance, but Reina said she will be working late tonight again and she apologized and that she really wants us to talk. I told her that it was alright because she was sorry.
As I was sitting on the couch waiting, I heard the door click indicating that you were home. You walked in and immediately I could smell the alcohol. You looked at me shocked, I guess because you expected me not to be there.
“Did you hit Reina?” I yelled
You closed your eyes and held your head and your fists were clenched into a ball at first but then they loosened up, you opened your eyes and looked at me “Can you not be yelling at me in MY house, please?”
“Did you or did you not punch Reina?” ignoring your sarcastic toned question
“Yeah I did, why?”
“Why? Why did you do that for?”
“Because I hat that lying- two-timing, cheating, bi-“
~SLAP~ “don’t say that about my girlfriend” ‘I thought you were my friend, how could you say things like that about the person I love. You aren’t the same person who I thought you were. Why would you hurt someone I love when I was the one you should be mad at. It’s not like you to be like this’
You turned your face to look at me in the eyes and I could see the rage in them, I myself was angry too. “Is she worth our friendship? You have slapped me twice in the span of 24 hours. Do I really mean nothing to you?”
I was stunned at the outburst but I am making a choice as I looked away “she means more to me” and with that I left.
I walked out of your house without looking back and for some reason my heart ached, more than it did when I found Reina cheating on me yesterday. Maybe it was because I lost my best friend but if it was a choice between her and Reina, I’m sorry but Reina is who I choose.
I decided to buy some food for Reina because I knew that when Reina works late she will forget to eat. My mood was getting better as I clutch onto the dinner I had just bought for her. I walked into the building and immediately it felt eerie since everyone has already gone home. I stepped into the elevator and kept pushing on my destination floor hoping that it would take me there faster. At the sound of the ‘ding’ I zoomed out of the elevator heading towards Reina’s office. As I got closer and closer I was feeling more happy because I was imaging the surprised look Reina will have when I show up with food…that was until I heard their voices.
“Reina, baby, I thought you didn’t have time for me today? What happened to your girlfriend?” slowly my smile was fading
“She’s probably at home. I told her I was working late so I could spend more time with you”
“Oh and what did you have in mind that we do now?” she giggled
“What do I always have in mind when I am with you?” Reina chuckled “come here”
“Oh no you don’t! You’ll have to catch me first”
“Awwww come on Sayu! Why do you have to play hard to get??? Remember I was punched in the face”
“Well it is punishment for you when your girlfriend interrupted us”
“But I made up for it last night didn’t I? I got punched in the face by that bitch but that didn’t affect my performance. I know it didn’t because of the way you were screaming my name” and with that I could hear the two running around until it went quiet and from the sounds after that, I have heard enough. I barged into Reina’s office.
~BAM~ “How could you lie to me time and time again?” I yelled catching Reina off-guard as she toppled off Sayu and landed on the floor. I threw the food that I was holding down at her and left her office, tears threatening to fall.
As I was walking away, I felt a hand grab onto my arm “Listen Eri, I can explain”
I flung her arm away from me “get your dirty hands away from me!!! This is nothing to explain. We are over!”
I was about to turn and walk away but Reina took hold of my shoulders “I’m sorry Eri, give me a chance to explain myself. This isn’t what it seems” Reina was crying but she can’t fool me again
I slowly reached up and pulled her hands away from my shoulders, “Reina, I’ve known about you cheating! I’ve always known and time and time again I have give you chances but you have failed me. What kind of excuse and lie were you going to feed me? You told me that you were at the office after you were punched in the face but in reality, you were in your words making this” as I pointed to the direction of Reina’s office, “screaming your name. I’m tired of your lies, and I’m tired of thinking of excuses for your behaviour”
Reina looked at me shocked “you’ve known? How long have you known?” as she looked away slightly
“Let’s just say longer than you would’ve ever guessed” I turned and walked away and this time Reina didn’t try to stop me. I ran out of the building crying and once again I felt lost only this time I couldn’t run to my best friend’s house, not anymore, not after I made that accusation. I ran home and cried my heart out, until I could cry no more.
The next morning I found that Reina had not come back. I wasn’t hoping that she would but we still live together so we have to meet at some point and discuss about living arrangements. I looked around my room and looked at the pictures that we took together, memories of the times we spent together flowed back into my mind ‘You punched Reina because you saw them together and all I did was take Reina’s side. How stupid could I be?? You punched Reina on my behalf. I don’t even have the courage to tell you that I’m sorry. Sorry that I didn’t believe in you, sorry that I slapped you, sorry that I chose Reina instead. Sorry that all I did was cause you physical and emotional pain. I can’t believe what an idiot I am. Now its too late. How do I even face you? I miss your smile already, the same smile that was contagious, the smile that would make me smile always, and the smile that I may never see again. I am so so so stupid!’ as I continuously scolded myself.
My days went by really dull, as if there is no meaning in life anymore. All I did was go to work, then go home like a zombie. I missed hanging around my bestfriend more and more, I missed your brown eyes that sparkled and gave me warmth. I know I could call you but what do I say? Sorry isn’t enough for the pain that I’ve caused and how could I ask for your forgiveness when I can’t forgive myself? I realized how hard it was to say sorry, especially to someone that means so much to you. I was so ashamed at myself, that I couldn’t face you when we saw each other. A couple of times I would see you on the streets but every time I did, I got scared and did the first thing that came into mind, avoid
End of Flashback
Over the 2 weeks, my life consisted only of going to work and staying at home. I talked to Reina again, and we became friends. She begged me to forgive her and that she still wanted us to be friends. She apologized for the pain she has caused and that she doesn’t deserve my forgiveness but she was willing to do anything for it back and that she wanted to make it up to me. We are friends now and we still live together, in fact her girlfriend, Sayumi, comes over often too. I didn’t hate them anymore, if anything I hated myself. Reina and Sayumi would try to include me in their outings but I just didn’t feel like going anywhere, because something was missing in my life. That something was you as I watch you walk further and further away. With every step further away, my heart cringed a little more.
‘I wished I had the courage to apologize and tell you how much you mean to me and that for the past several days I realized that I loved you more than I did Reina, but I screwed up. I took it for granted thinking that it will always be there for me, but now I don’t deserve that chance. Regret…the one thing that I regret the most in my life is that I never saw you when you were so close to me until you were gone.’
Topic: FaqU's one-shots- Trust You - 10/13 (Read 37122 times)