Confession of love | WMatsui - COMPLETED

[Yu_oshi]

Just don't know what to do with time in a sleepless night so decide to write a OS with my phone!
Sorry for any mistake! *bow down*






Confession of love





Jurina's POV

"Please accept this love of mine!"

Should I tell her that? Or should I supprise her with a kiss then tell her that I love her?

Agr~ what ever it is the answer still the same anyway. That's some thing I'm pretty sure at!
It's not that because I'm pessimistic or being concious about myself. I just know that she doesn't feel the same!
I have always love her since the first time we met. But lucky for me, she only see me as a child. Sometimes, a little girl!

That's the problem right there!

1. She does not like girl! (She told me that a lots! "I'm normal" that how she would said when I teased her with some girls)

2. She would never ever ever ever date someone younger than her.
Left alone someone 6 years younger and not even graduated from high school!
Why I'm so sure of it? Cause I like mature girl. I like person that think carefully and know how to act probably. Especially someone that knows what's best for them.
And since she has all that! How can she into someone that much younger than her and cannot be independent?

Ah, Matsui Rena is perfect in every way!

Then why do I still want to confess to her?
Simple! Because I want to be happy!
If I don't confess to her. I couldn't love anyone else again.
 Because my heart will be trapped in this unconfirm-hopeless-onesided love!
Even when I know I have no chance at winning her heart. But that's what I thought, not confirmed by her yet! So even just 1 % left, somehow, I still hope!
My mind screams 'stupid' but what can I do when I have such a strong heart?
Therefore, I want HER to confirm that my mind has won and my heart has lost, so I could celebrate with my mind and let my heart rest a little! 

Since the day I met her, my heart has really harsh time!

I loved her not because she love me! I love her because I love her!

I've waited not for the day she'd loved me back! I just wait for the day I'd stop loving her!

Right now, I just reach my limit! I just can wait no more!

Back to the time when it's only me and her. I was really happy. Just the two of us sticked together. We're fitted with eachother, don't you think? People even call us 'WMatsui'!

I miss those time when it just me talking, hugging and kissing Rena!
But then, came the others. Of course they're all my friends too! But how could they got together with her so fast? How could she be so kind and nice to them?

It was me the one that got to know her first! I has known her the longest! I was the one closest to her!
Then why did she have to be so cold to me?
Yes! Rena is nice and all, but her kindness just a way of her being polite.

I don't want that politeness! I want real feeling!

I did told Rena that!

In the end, she showed me her real feel that she didnt care about me that much to take what I said to heart!

Yes! And all I can do is smile like nothing happened while inside my heart's broken.

Hate that I still loved her afterwards!

My mind must jumped in to make a convention.

I had tried to stay far from her, get closer with other members, flirting here and there, get her out of my mind!

I even got tranfered to team K for godness sake!

 It's shocked everyone knowing that I would be tranfered temporary. But after that, we don't even contact anymore!
Rena doesn't seem to care about any of that anyway.

Yeah! I forgot, I'm nothing to her!

Still loved her.

So I have decided! For the sake of my happiness, I have to put an end to this 'kataomoi' immediately.
Before some pieces of my heart turns into dust, that is!

I really don't worry about Rena avoid me afterwards that much!
If she avoid me then I won't have to think about her and limit my chance of meeting her. That would be great for my heart.

Yeb! Gonna tell her the next time I see her!

.....

Normal POV

"Rena-chan! I have something I need to tell you"
Said Jurina holding Rena's arm gently when they are walking up the stair to the stage!

"What's it?" - Rena asks, wondering why the young girl suddenly want to talk to her after such a long time! They do work really close with eachothers but doesn't mean they're close outside.

"Just wait a minute" - Jurina smiles sheepishly, still holding Rena's arm.

Until there's no one beside two of them, Jurina lets it go and walks up to the same level with Rena, then, she just sits down, silently.

Jurina's POV

Okay!  Okay! Okay! !!!
This thing is getting harder than u thought it would!
Calm down Jurina! Breathe slowly! Don't make thing become awkward!

Sh**! She's sitting next to me!! What should I do?? What should I say??

Stop panic! !

.....

Jurina looks at Rena again and smile like a dork.
"This is the first time I intended to say some thing like this so it's quite hard!"

"What's wrong? Just say it! Don't worry" Rena rushs Jurina. She doesn't curious that much, but she thinks they should make it fast and get in to practise.

"Here! Look at this!" Jurina pulls her phone out of her pocket and shows Rena her wallpaper. It has a sentence like
'Rena ~ daisuki <3'

"Is that all? Listen to this a lot already"

 Rena stands up and about to walk away but Jurina holds her back,
"Wait, I want to say it!"

Rena turns around  "Ok then!"

She sits back down, waiting for Jurina, who just sits there and stares blankly into the air.

.. 5 minutes later...

"If you can't say it today then another time"

Rena stands up again. This time, Jurina also stands up! To hug Rena back, prevents Rena from walking any further.

"I'll talk! I'll talk!..."

Jurina lets go of Rena waist when Rena turns to face her!

"But saying this thing in front of a restroom door is ruin the mood"

Jurina points at the said door ironically!

Rena waiting patiently for Jurina once more.
After a while, Jurina still not shows any sign that she would talking soon.
Feeling enough! Rena starts walking away firmly.

Jurina pulls Rena back again, but she shrugs it off,

"I have joked with you enough already "

This time Jurina can't hold her back anymore as she starts walking really fast!

Only Jurina stands there, stares at her back till it disappears.
She then smiles sadly and turns around. She no longer has the mood to practise.



...








I know it's boring but it's just pop out of my mind like that anyway!

[sakura_drop_]

Rena-sama!!! Hidoi~!!!! 

Go back to Jurina-chan and ask her by force *hint* *hint* -> push her against the wall and get out the truth by staring at her with your SERIOUS Gekikara stare!!

Juri-chan... Poor child.. *pats gently shoulder*

Good job, Yu_oshi-san! 

[chichay12]

Only Jurina stands there, stares at her back till it disappears.
She then smiles sadly and turn around. She just doesn't have the mood to practise anymore!.

...
The end.

I know it's boring but it's just pop out of my mind like that anyway!

are you seriously end ur fic like this??
my god!!i dont want jurina to suffer like this!!
 
so i demand for more chapter!!
plsssss,i want more!!
 

[Yu_oshi]

@sakura_drop : I really don't know if Rena should do that? it's was Jurina that can't confess!  Rena did give her chance and waited 4 her to say ya know! =)))

@Javs: somehow I think Rena did give Jurina enough time already! It's Jurina that need to be courage and say that out loud =)))

@chichay12: yeah, you're right! I won't let it end like that! =)) I will continue it soon

Thanks you all for comment! *bow down*

[Amakuchi]

OH MY GOODNESS! THIS IS MADNESS! DX RENA, Y U SO RUDE!? T A T I WANT MOAR! DX MOAR!

[Haruko]

Rena-sama!!! Hidoi~!!!! 

Go back to Jurina-chan and ask her by force *hint* *hint* -> push her against the wall and get out the truth by staring at her with your SERIOUS Gekikara stare!!

Juri-chan... Poor child.. *pats gently shoulder*

Good job, Yu_oshi-san! 

... good advice.. but ihave a better one.. just take her shoulder and kiss her.. and say "i love you" and.. run away so fast! .. you can do that or maybe if you cant speak just kiss her..

[Yu_oshi]

=))) Jurina would be really happy if Rena acted like what you guys said eh? =)))) but then again, me and my-boring-self will try to make more realistic in my opinion ^_^

[Yu_oshi]

..tbc..




"Jurina ~~ your friends are here to see you"

Mama Juri call up to her daughter, she didn't know what had happened that made her child acted like an airhead from yesterday. She was a little worry but decided to shrug it off. She knew her child the best. If Jurina need her, Jurina would come and ask her personally.

"Just tell them to come in my room, ma"

Jurina shouted out still hiding in her room.

Not long after hearing the footsteps, the door cracked opened, revealed 2 of her closest friends, Mizuki and Yuka.

They just looked at her lying on the bed effortlessly, stared blankly at the ceiling.

Found themselves a sit, Mizuki decided to start a conversation,

"I don't know exactly how did you confess to her, but Rena's reaction is kinda bad! She's not amuse at all"

That was something that caught Jurina's attention.

"Wait! Wait! How was her reaction again?"

Jurina ask out of curiosity. Indeed that she herself hadn't known how Rena acted since she left right after and stay in her room from that day.

"What? You mean you didn't know?? I will get to that later! After saw her walked in, I came and ask her did she turned you down? She seem to be pissed a little and didn't answer me back then, so I tried to ask her again. After a moment of silent, she murmured something like 'such a kid' and that all."

Mizuki calmly told her friend what she knew.

"Now it's your turned of telling story"

Yuka said firmly. She know Jurina may looked mature but the truth is she still a kid. And this kid is just too young to have to be hurt by this kind of feeling, not to mentioned, this was the first time she has ever into someone.

Jurina left out a long sigh and started to recited all the detail in her mind.

....

"Oh my God! And here I thought you could do it easy as you always tell us!! How could you use your phone?? Of course she would thought that you was joking!"
 
Mizuki cried out loudly.

"And you asked me how to say it, I had told you that speak it seriously, not to make any misunderstood and asked her to give you a yes or no clearly"

Yuka facepalmed herself.

"But I were nervous, that was my first time accepting that I loved someone. And what shocked me the most that after knew what I wanted to say! She didn't run away and did give me a chance to say it probably! "
Jurina tried to explain herself,

"Because of that, I realized that she really kind enough even just a politeness, if she that nice to me, how could I told her something that would bothered her? So I lost all my intention ..."

Jurina ended with a sigh, she just don't know what to think anymore, everything is just confused.

"I think that Rena knew what you was meant to say, but she didn't know how to give you an answer. Beside, she just didn't want to be rude and hurt your feeling! If she tried to be like that, then maybe you should gave up before everything became awkward between you two!"

Yuka spoke her mind.

Jurina fell herself a little hurt , something suddenly get stuck in her heart!

"What will you do then?"

Mizuki asked her..

'What will I do?'

"I don't know"..












Sorry for the short boring update but I wrote this with my phone and it gonna out of battery real soon so that's all!

Thanks for comments!  *bow down*

[sakura_drop_]

I think Jurina has to use all the effort and strength that she has and finally say her true feelings to Rena-sama eye to eye. Or Rena-sama can make her jealous by being with Airin. Well, I meant unintentionally, not thinking about making her jealous, just spending time with airin. So Jurina could make her move 

Ah, sorry for blabbering 

Thank you for this update 

[Haruko]

aww baby juriboy -_-

[gek geki]

Great!

[Rena-chan Daisuki]

this fic is really describing the difficulty of how someone will confess their love mostly
'cause there's a lot of people in the world right now that always failed 'cause of nervousness in confessing their love
and most of the people that scared of confessing straight forward ended up confessing only with a text message and i don't like that
so for Jurina to have that kind of courage (well even though failed afterward) is still something to be proud of
So Jurina don't give up! Fight for ur love

Hope to see ur next update

[Yu_oshi]

Ah, seem like i have forgotten this one I will update an ending soon then

[Yu_oshi]

-tbc-





"I just can take it anymore! It's been 2 month and I just can't ease my heart with the thought of an answer from Rena-chan. I know that she will turn me down, but until hear that word from her, I just can't pursue myself to give up. I have to confess to her again! You guys must help me, please! I'm desperate! "

Jurina groaned as she talked to Mizuki and Yuka in the changing room. After the failed confession, she had tried to tell herself to let it go, she tried to distant herself from Rena. Because of her work with AKB, it's quite easy, but today, she had to perform for team S stage so there's no way she can avoid Rena. The moment she saw the older girl, her heart go "dokidoki" and she know, her feeling for the other just can stop.

Witnessed things that Jurina going through, all her friends could do were to find a way - a chance - for her to confess again. A direct answer is the only medicine for this kid's heartache.

Mizuki let out a sigh and said

"This weekend we gonna have a trip to Disneyland, we will find a way to let you have 'alone time' with her. This is your last chance"

Yuka nodded and spoke wisely.

"Do it properly this time. Don't hesitate. Because if you're hesitate, you're being selfish. Remember last time? You made all your friends that care for you disappointed because you was using your phone, and most important was, you let Rena waited all just because you're selfish about your discouragement. Think it that way and find more courage to do it"

What Yuka said was ... right, rough but right. Instead of being hurt by it, because Jurina is a devoted kind. She always feels like she has responsible for others. So Yuka's word really hit her and give her more reason to do this thing.

 *More than the Answer of Yes or No
I kept it inside my chest
My love to you
Finally it's lifting a ban*


.
.
.
 
*Weekend *

Half of team S had gathered around a place that not so far from the gate of Disneyland but not easy to notice, it's not like they have a chance to go out together like this frequently so they was really excited. Especially their youngest member, today was the day she end that so called "kataomoi" so she's really nervous, hoping for miracle but then reminded herself to not hope because 'more hope more hurt' but at least she would free from this suffocated feeling.

"I"ll go get everyone ticket"

Rena said joyfully, of course, she really love Disneyland and all. Then she just skipped to the ticket booth. Jurina saw this's a chance and go after her. Rena felt that someone walk along with her, noticed it's Jurina, she fastened her pace.

Get enough tickets for everybody, she returned back but Jurina took her hand and smiled

"Don't walk that fast, listen to me first"

Tried to pull her hand back from Jurina hold but knew that the younger one not gonna agree with it, she said a little annoyed

"Later, lots of members are waiting for me now"

"It wont be long, I promise"

Jurina tried to smile again

"Okay then, let go first, you kinda hurt my hand"

Rena said calmly,

"Really?"

Jurina sounded a little worried and let go of Rena hand. Right at that moment, Rena ran fast back to the others and let Jurina alone didn't know if she should cry or smile? What should she think?

... Until now they had played through almost half of the playground, even it's fun but still she hadn't has a chance to talked to Rena again.

"Let's rest here, my legs is killing me"

Deguchi Aki cried out, she kinda weak for all the activities. Found this opportunity, Jurina gave a signal to Yuka, Yuka took it and talked to Rena

"Rena-chan looked like you still in hyper mode. How about go get us some drink?"

Nice as usual, Rena easily nodded and get going. That moment, Jurina followed her again.
Seeing Jurina walked next to her, Rena turned back

"If you go then I'm going back to rest now"

"Wait, just talk! Okay?"

Jurina stood in front of the beauty girl prevent her from running away again.
This time Rena felt like she had enough, she herself had tried to avoid Jurina, she knew her intention. She just didn't want to hear it. But if this kid really pushed it that way then..

"Okay! Talk!"

.
.
*Jurina's POV*

I know she's avoiding me, I can feel that she don't want me to talk about this, but sorry, I'm doing this for myself. After this, if you want, I will never bother you again.

"About last time, after what Mizuki asked you, I believe that you knew what I was meant to said?"

I tried to say it casually as possible.

"Yes"

She answered shortly. My heart skipped a beat. She knew I love her.

"So ... what do you say?"

I asked sheepishly,

"Let take it as I never heard it, never see it"

Well.. that was... hurt.

"Why? I meant it!"

I tried again,

"I'm not a game for kids, don't make me never want to see your face again, don't make me never want to talk to you again"

Um.. this was harsh, I can fell my heart throbbed now.

"I'm being serious, I'm not taking it as a game"

Why am I still talking? What am I trying to do? Get more hurts?

"So am I , best for both of us is forget it like it's never happened "

Why denying my feeling existence? Maybe it's not great but please don't deny it like that.

"All you have to say is 'no'"

"It's no then! No no no no! Satisfied? "
A simple words, it's hurt, each one just like a knife that direct to my heart. But it's maybe the least hurtful compared to others.

"Wonderfully "

I replied with a bright smile.. what's the use of crying? I can cry of happiness but I would never cried out sadness. Beside, I did prepare myself for this already..

.. finally, my "kataomoi" ended still a "kataomoi". I don't blame her for rejected my feeling or being frankly, she did give me all the sight that showed she's not into me and she don't want to talk about it. It's me that pursued continued, it's me that insisted to bother her even I know that she didn't like it. Maybe I'm really just a kid, and I just can stop until I feel satisfied .. but this time.. satisfied?  Happy? Sad? Hurt..? What should I feel?

"Hey heart! I'm in pain."







The end.




Sorry for it take too long to update this boring story... can't believe I had forgotten about it..
About the end kinda short then, because in real life, we just need an answer to know if we should end or continue. In this case, the answer was clear so let end it here thanks for reading

[Shinoki]

shock.... so it's the end.......
.......sad......
Rena-chan........
Jurina-chan........

[kuro808]

That is pretty normal for their situation but still sad for both of them

[gek geki]

Its pretty harsh,
Rena should just say no,that word hurting jurina
And yeah she said no,but its rude

[Sherin]

Do a sequel and make the unrequited love, required this time or else I won't forgive you after forgetting about the fic for too long!!!

[Yu_oshi]

I did make a fanfic to let them get together so let it make up for this fic please

[Sherin]

Nooooooooo!!!! Unforgivable!!!!!

You made Jurina suffered too much...