不思議な推しメン
It all started a few months ago, didn't it?
It was a pretty silly one at least. You were the butt of all the jokes in the local fan comm., everyone had a photo of you that no one else wanted. You were everyone's oshimen; only because everyone had a picture of you they couldn't move. I guess it's no different from what happened with me, it was a joke anyway, when I said you were my waifu. It took a really superficial reason to convince me: I saw a blog photo from a photobook shoot. But I was in.
As soon as that happened, people were trying to locate me for a variety of reasons, but mostly to offload the metric fuckton of your photos they had gathered in their buying sprees. I was happy to get them, but at the same time a little sad; the only reason they were doing so was because it was either trading it for someone else with me, or casting it off as a lost cause. Of course, the former is much more preferable. After all, you can't go much worse than Mariyannu, right? I love showing off my album, but no one wants to see it anyway. I don't play the 'Who's Suzuki Mariya?' drinking game because I'd get smashed in 30 minutes.
I'm sorry to say it, but I don't know everything about you. I find it a little embarassing, really. If anyone asks me about why I like you, I can't tell them. You're not particularly pretty, and you're not particularly cute. These are objective facts I won't skew. But who gives a shit, right? All that matters is I like you. But the reasons are best left for another, more pretentious note on Facebook.
I don't even like the way I'm 'supporting' you. I feel really guilty buying 2nd hand stuff, as a way to say I support you. I only find comfort in the fact that I'm contributing to a market for your photos, which means at the very least, the people who buy photos and compile them for sale on auction can live to buy another day. And at the very least, it helps AKB48 as a whole, even if none of it trickles down to you. I wish Dresscode had merchandise; I'd buy everything for you.
6 months of waiting for another visit from AKB48 culminated in a meeting at the airport. You rejected me twice! Looked at me, the gift, and just walked away. Not once, but twice. I was crushed. I had hoped it was a managerial order, but that wouldn't explain the other girls receiving their gifts. Did you just hate me, or what? Nevertheless, I could understand why you didn't want to oppose the manager. After a shitty day of queueing, an emotionless handshake and downright douchebaggery, the only thing I looked forward to ended up being a complete failure. I got away from the airport (am pretty sure the consequences of which are manifested in various misunderstandings on why I left for no reason) with the hopes of catching you at the hotel, but no such luck was bestowed upon me. I mulled over what I was going to do; Should I risk the giftbox? Or should I try to give it personally?
I decided to leave it in the box on Sunday; I didn't want to give it a chance to fail, even if it meant giving my gift to Sozo.
Sunday started early. Going on 5 hours of sleep, I plopped myself in a space and queued to see you. Ended up in the left side, with a bunch of people who were taller and also standing on the fence. Basically, I saw nothing, that 3pm. The lack of response left me wondering if you really remembered me, or if you didn't see me, or you just didn't give a shit. After the debacle at the airport, I had no idea what to think.
But I had a decent stroke of luck!
There was a hi-touch after the concert! This was the one time I could really talk to you and expect a proper response. This was more exciting than the handshake, everything else before and after was a blur. "Ah! The one with the board!", was what you said. At first, it was a feeling of "oh yeah! i guess that was pretty funny to her! glad she liked it!", and how I got the other girls interested to hear about it too. Of course, this was after AA complained jokingly about me stealing the attention.
But after mulling over it, I thought a bit more about it. From November to May, that's almost half a year. And you remembered? Not just the board, but the person holding it? It flashed on me, I guess she really does remember me! At the second one, I wanted to tell you '手紙を読んでください！', but that all went down the drain. You decided to wave at me as I approached you. I melted, and all that came out was a sheepish grin and a silly nod. But all that; they made everything worthwhile: The teasing about the photo albums, the self-deprecating jokes about a cheap oshimen, the fact that no one else even knew who you were, the fact that I spent a bunch of money on photos that wouldn't even fetch half their initial price.
I don't even know if the letter reached you, though. I hope it did, and you read it. I don't care if you don't post about it, although it would be nice if you did. If it was in English, it would have been a bit more eloquent, and less like a 12 year old's writing, but I hope you appreciate the effort I put into writing it. It wasn't that long, but I did think long and hard about what to put in it. In any case, what happened over the weekend was a rollercoaster. What happened on Sunday more than made up for the disappointment of Saturday. For that period of revelation, I was the happiest person ever.
Someone said that maybe you were just being tsundere, but I hope you don't toy with everyone like that, it sucks. But what I really want to know is..
Where were you at the airport today? >:|
Topic: [TEAM K | SNH48] MARIYANNU ~ The Suzuki Mariya Thread (Read 53266 times)