Chapter 21
I was in bed for two more days. My fever got worse before it got better, and for a moment while I lay there agonising over the injustices of life, it crossed my mind that my sickness was all some sort of karmic revenge for having laughed at Hasegawa's infection with the bird flu. Maybe I had it, too.
Aya took care of me those two days. She had to go to work on the second day, but she made sure she returned home as early as possible. She sat on the floor by my side, brought me light food and water, read to me (nothing deep), patted my back when I felt sick, and even talked or sang me to sleep in a voice softer than I had imagined her capable of.
There was no more talk of the situation between us or the tension I felt at the back of my mind when I thought about it. Thoughts pertaining to this were swept away by silent looks between us whenever we saw each other and by the incredibly ill feeling that had taken up most of my attention.
I woke up after those two days, my head feeling clear and my body wanting to stand up. There was no dull throb of pain from the constant headache that had haunted me, and I felt genuinely hungry for the first time in days.
I could see that it was dark outside, but I wasn't sure if it was late night or early morning. I was alone in the room, although judging from the sounds I could hear coming from the living room, it couldn't be too early in the morning or too late in the evening. There were voices speaking. I assumed one was Aya's.
I rolled up from bed slowly, careful not to get a head rush, and I slid the door open quietly. Sitting at the kotatsu were Aya and Shibata, each with a cup of tea, both looking very warm and comfortable with their heater.
When Aya saw me, she looked alarmed and started to stand up, asking what was wrong, but I shook my head.
"Don't worry. Don't get up," I said quickly.
I had a feeling I had interrupted Shibata in mid-sentence. She was eying me carefully. I gave her a tiny nod as a greeting, and I made my way over to the table, inviting myself to slip my legs under the blanket. Delicious warmth spread up my body immediately and I felt happier than I'd been in days. My fever had kept me an uncomfortable kind of warm, but this heat that came from outside of me made me feel as though I was one hundred percent better.
"How are you feeling?" Aya asked.
"A lot better," I told her. "No more sick feeling."
"Aya-chan told me you've been down with some sort of flu for a while. I was worried," Shibata said.
Shibata. A girl I'd met once and that I hardly knew other than through stories from Aya. Why was it, then, that when she said this, she sounded genuine? She didn't sound like she was merely being polite.
"Sorry to have worried you," I apologised. "And thank you."
I looked to my left at the DVD player to check the time. Half past nine.
I felt very disoriented, unsure of what day it was. I didn't ask, however, because that knowledge would be of no use to me at the moment. Whether it was Thursday or Saturday made no difference to me.
The three of us sat in an awkward silence. There was a lot that had to be said, but nobody was taking the first step.
"Do you want something to eat? Drink?" Aya asked quickly, almost seeming oblivious to the tension in the air.
She was a good actor.
"Actually, I could use both," I said sheepishly, feeling my hunger and thirst grow tenfold at her suggestion of food and drink.
Before I could say a thing, she'd sprung up and gone to the kitchen to get me something. I was about to follow and help, but Shibata spoke to me and kept me seated.
"I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable last weekend. I didn't mean to react that way to you. I think Aya-chan explained why I did that..."
I felt like I was in a science fiction movie. The topic we were about to get into - the topic I had decided from there on to push us deeper into - was the perfect subject for such a movie.
"I think I kind of get it," I said with a forgiving look.
Shibata took a sip of tea, pausing with her lips just grazing the rim of the cup. I looked down at the surface of the table. Aya started to heat something up in the microwave.
I pictured a photographer coming in silently and taking a photo of the scene. Critics would call it his next great work. They'd say things like "the way he's photographed it, you can see the tension - the awkwardness - in the air!"
No, it wasn't so much awkwardness as it was an uncertainty as to how to proceed. Since there was no precedent, the three of us didn't know what was going on. We didn't know how to talk about it. Our brains required different methods to process the information. If anything, Aya had the best chance of the three of us. She'd been painfully aware of at least the first situation - the disappearance of her proper Miki - for months. At least she was prepared to think in a different way. The second situation was the fact that people in this city - people like Shibata - felt a strange familiarity when they saw me. This one none of us had a grasp on.
"What about me do you find familiar?"
To say I was mildly interested would be an understatement. I was wildly curious. Shibata, on the other hand, couldn't keep a flash of discomfort from passing through her eyes.
"Why?" she asked me.
Why? Wasn't it obvious? I wanted to know just how similar we were. Who was this other girl that shared my face and half of my history?
I was about to get this point across to her in fewer and more abrupt words when Aya came back with a bowl of food and tea for me. Shibata and I hushed up as she set them both down in front of me, and I looked at her gratefully.
"Thanks, Aya-chaaaan," I said cutely, forgetting Shibata was there.
It wasn't a meal for kings. It was rice and green beans. Simple, but good for someone who hadn't eaten a proper meal in days. I started to eat as slowly as possible, taking my time so that I wouldn't get that sick feeling one gets when one eats too quickly on an empty stomach.
"Well, now that she's awake, I should be going," Shibata said, standing up.
I paused with chopsticks in my mouth and Aya looked up in surprise.
"No, don't go," she said. "You don't have to."
Shibata looked down at me quickly, and I nodded in agreement with Aya. I still wanted an answer to my question.
"I should, though. It's getting late."
Shibata would not accept the invitation to stay longer. Aya got up to see her to the door as I sat and watched from the able.
"Once you recover fully, give me a call. I'm sure we could find time to talk," Shibata said to me.
She then followed Aya to the door. With a wave, she was gone.
Aya came back to the table and sat across from me.
"Are you sure you're feeling better?" she asked worriedly.
"Aya-chan, I'd be doing cartwheels around the living room right now if I wasn't afraid of crashing into your furniture," I reassured her. "I'm fine."
She looked relieved.
"You had me worried. One more day and I would've dragged you to the hospital."
I smiled at her while chewing.
"I'm fine," I repeated through a mouthful of rice.
Aya took the remote control and turned the television set on, setting it to some talk show for background noise. I looked at the screen, and when I saw the newscaster, I was reminded of Nakanoko-chan. The woman on the screen bore an uncanny resemblance to my friend, which reminded me that I'd called her a while ago and had heard no reply from her. I'd become too busy with my life to follow up on my failed call to her, and I suddenly wondered if she was okay.
"But I need to make a phone call," I said quickly, getting up and trying to find my phone.
"Kuni-chan?" Aya asked. "She called a couple of times to see how you were. She'll be happy to hear from you."
"Oh, that troublemaker? I'd forgotten about her," I joked. "No, that's not who I'm calling. A friend from back home."
I found my phone and settled back at the table.
"Are you finished with that?" Aya asked, pointing to my bowl.
I nodded. She took it with the rest of the things from the table and went to do the dishes, giving me some privacy. I found the correct number and pressed dial, waiting impatiently for a response.
Six rings later when I thought I'd be directed to the voicemail box, a tired voice answered.
"Hello?"
"Nakanoko-chan!" I exclaimed, although positive that something was wrong.
"Micchan, hi," she said, sounding relieved that it was me.
Who else could it be? It's not like anyone else could be calling from this number.
"Are you all right?" I asked.
"Actually, I'm at the hospital right now," she said in a quiet voice.
My heart froze.
"What happened?" I demanded.
"I'm okay," she said quickly. "I didn't tell you before, but my uncle was diagnosed with cancer. It wasn't too serious, but his condition got worse two weeks ago. I've been practically living here because he has nobody else. The doctor says he doesn't have much longer."
I'd heard of this uncle. He was a terror. Nakanoko-chan had always told me horror stories about him back when we were younger, but over the years as she grew up and got to know him, he became less scary and more interesting. Now he was on his deathbed...
"I'm sorry," I said.
"Don't be. He's had a full life. People might not like him much, but he's pretty satisfied with what he's accomplished. Listen, I'm sorry for not returning your call before. You sounded like you needed a friend."
"Hah," I said, remembering that terrible day. "I'm fine now. Just had a rough day."
I heard a noise on her end.
"Hang on a sec," she said quickly, and I heard her speak to someone before coming back on the line. "Micchan, I'll contact you later. There's been a change in his condition."
My heart went out to her. It sounded like a change for the worse. I said goodbye, and I wondered when the next time I'd talk to her would be.
"Everything okay?" Aya asked, coming back to sit with me.
I explained briefly the situation, and she stayed respectfully silent, and I compared my life in Hokkaido to my life in Kanto. There was one thing that didn't make sense to me, and I changed our topic of conversation to reflect my curiosity.
"Why is it that none of this weirdness started until I came here to this city?" I asked. "I lived the vast majority of my life without being mistaken for some non-existent celeb. Then I met you, came here, and suddenly the entire city is bowing at my feet."
Aya looked just as puzzled about the question as I did.
"I don't know," she sighed. "I don't understand any of it. I haven't found any answers. Trust me, I would have told you."
That was a mood dampener. We sat silently watching the talk show.
Maybe we weren't supposed to meet, I thought suddenly. Maybe things got messed up because of her coming to my hometown.
I shook my head. What a ridiculous thought!
"What?" she asked.
I shook my head again.
"Nothing. Are you tired? Go to bed. You've been working long shifts playing famous star and doctor."
"I'm not ti-" she started, but she interrupted herself with a yawn, followed by a sheepish look. "I'm exhausted and I have to leave here at five-thirty tomorrow. Do you mind if I go ahead?"
I pointed to her bedroom commandingly.
"Go sleep."
She saluted me and went off to get ready for bed.
I sat in the living room, not one bit tired, wondering what was going to happen from that moment on. I turned to the television and watched talk shows well into the early morning, falling asleep under the kotatsu and having pleasant dreams that I couldn't remember the next morning.