Untitled ON HOLD

[kuro808]

I may get a title or not but something that I promised to do

Chapter 1


Maimi sat in silence with her class midway through, she was far away from the room, the space above her expanded the bubble to unlimited proportions.  Her faint smile only portrayed what she would be doing outside at the moment.  A voice entered into her ear unsuspecting to the reality around her and fell into the teacher’s trap lulling into a day dream.

“Yajima-san, please stay after class.”  Maimi slouched down and looked up the clock to see she had half an hour left of class.

Her best friend, Mano Erina, was writing notes like crazy and was not concentrating on anything else except for the board where it was a forest of chalk.  She was not interested in school but her parents were insistent that if she managed to survive, they would offer her an apartment that she could live in with no questions asked.

However, the dream farther away than ever as the motivation was driven to the cliff and was ready to tumble into the canyon before.  She wrote down minimal notes until she saw the time ran out for the class and headed up to the front to confront the teacher.

“Yajima-san, you know you can do this.  This is your final year and you seem out of it since we started this semester.  Is there something wrong?  Maybe we should…”  Maimi held up her hand.

“My parents won’t help me; I am set by passing this class without trying.”  Maimi said to the teacher turning the teacher’s expression into worry.

“Don’t say that.  I want you to succeed beyond her, if you need help, please inform me.”  She nodded and walked out of the classroom.

Her life was normal as normal could be.  She accomplished by getting high grades, punished for low grades, and everything in between varied from glee to disappointment.  She felt the neutrality of everything in her life and that is how she lived.  The only thing that was keeping her from dropping out was sports.  She was the team player trying to support the star and never had any of the credit for creating opportunities for everyone without anything in return.

Since the fall was approaching, soccer had become the focus for mostly everyone and tryouts were a way to weed out people.  Maimi stood behind the front line still in her uniform watching the new people trying to get on the elite team.  She saw many were inexperienced and were instantly downgraded until one caught her attention.

“Okay number six, go through the cones and aim towards the crossbar.”  The captain yelled out and she started to ball towards the cones.

Maimi was impressed with her concentration watching the ball tapped between her feet through the cones and she turned toward the goal as she fired toward the target.  She knuckled toward the upper left corner forcing the goalie toward the ball but bounced back into the net.  The rejected girls rejoiced as the smirk of the captain was an indication of more to come.

She took her to the next task which was dribbling through the dummies and aiming for the right side.  She followed the orders exactly and knuckled it toward the right post and the surging goalie missed the ball and dribbled into the net.  The captain was still not impressed but Maimi who was sitting back was now on the field with her uniform on.  Maimi was their best dribbler and the girl was forced to shadow her as she moved back and forth guarding her every move.  Her defense was spectacular and she capped it off with a steal and the long shot that capped off her tryout.  She had a goal from fifty feet without touching any of the poles.

Maimi wiped the sweat off her brow as she congratulated the new recruit.  Maimi extended her hand and began to notice the girl.  Her crooked teeth and wide smile gave away her identity; it was the leading player from a school across town.  Maimi stepped backward into a slick patch of grass and fell onto her butt as she extended her hand.

“My name is Suzuki Airi, what is yours?”  She asked as Maimi stood up on her own.

“Why are you here?  Doesn’t your team still need you?”  Airi shook her head.

“I transferred here because I thought I had a chance to win a championship and did so by my father who is the donor of this school.”  Airi pointed out the name change on the billboard.

The captain walked over and gave her a patch as an indicator of being on the elite team but Maimi had concerns about her loyalty.  She kept giving her unusual looks until Airi held out her captain patch in her hand.

“I never deserved this in the first place and I think you should be a captain rather than her.  She’s too demanding for your team.  I rather take orders than bark them out.  So, I hope can make a difference on the team.”  Airi gleamed as she kicked the ball towards the older girl.

“I’m going home.  Shall we walk together?”  Airi suggested.

“Let’s change and we can walk home together.”  Maimi agreed and walked into the locker room with the fears still on her mind on why she was set to transfer here.

[sakura_drop_]

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!

kurosawa87-san, you're amazing!!! 

My request wish is here in front of my eyes!!!!

KYAAAAAA! 

[kuro808]

Chapter 2


Maimi hastily changed back into her uniform to find herself the first outside with the cold wind hitting her skin.  She held her arms over her chest as the younger girl was still showering.  Maimi walked back in and saw Airi letting her hair down to dry it off.  She hid behind the wall to prevent from being seen.  Maimi cursed herself for seeing her in her underwear but she promised to wait and walked back outside to wait for her.

“Almost 6:00 and she is not out here yet.”  Maimi said to herself with Airi looking at her.

“Sorry for the wait.”  She nervously smiled and led the way off the school campus.

It was quiet despite the wind blowing towards them and then Airi stopped unexpectedly forcing Maimi to stop before crashing into her.  Airi turned with her head tilted forward and looked towards Maimi as she extended her hand.

“Why did you stop?”  Maimi asked suddenly.

“Ah… I was just wondering… why do you hide behind everyone?”  Airi grinned at her.

“Does it really matter to you?”  She stared at her with lasers and Airi twisted back around leading the walk again.

After a few paces, Maimi caught up to Airi and grabbed her by the shoulder.  She was turned to find Maimi with her head down.

“You are not the person I used to know, you were the leader until that incident happen.”  Maimi halted her words.

“Don’t speak about it, it was a while ago.”  Airi held her hand over her cheek.

“I want you to go past this; I can never forgive you if you don’t let it go.”  Maimi pushed her forward and Airi braked at the curve.

“You cannot let me trust you for anything until your past can be forgiven, before that day you were kind and then we held hands for that while.”  Maimi grabbed onto Airi’s lapel and gave her a kiss on the lips.

Airi froze as she closed her eyes and opened up to see her ten feet walking the order way.  She took a step towards the older girl and held her hand out.  Airi surrendered to follow her and walked home heavy with thoughts of Maimi.

Maimi looked up wondering why she even kissed Airi.  She remembered when they first hanged out with each other after the game as usual when stars congratulate each other.  However, it was deeper than respect and they slept over one time to the chagrin of the team.  Both teams developed the rivalry deep within the two stars and Maimi had to rough up her partner causing rifts between them.

Airi knew what Maimi was doing during the match but after the match Maimi took a long time to apologize because of the public attention.  Airi called her partner by phone to get the explanation but the wound was still raw and it wasn’t until their last match that Airi forgave her actions.

Maimi stepped into her house and felt the cold hit her again.  She began looking through the house with fear of no one being home and the dark house was common after school.  Her father loved to go drinking and usually would return drunk without noticing anyone else home.  Her mother acknowledged his style and left him last year after bringing home a co-worker for dinner with her hands all over him.

She knew there were worst things and she looked up at the picture of her mother with the burnt corner on the frame.  Maimi remembered that day and her father returning home questioning where her mother was and saw the note scribbled on the table.  He turned on the stove burner and lit a paper on fire.

Maimi saw the corner burning slowly and threw a cup of water to extinguish the fire.  Her pushed her down and came right after her.  He raised his fist before lowering it down onto her body.  She countered with a kick to his stomach and then a kick to his groin.  She feared for retaliation in the morning but was surprised with breakfast on the table for both of them.

“Gomen, Maimi.  I don’t know what happened last night but you need to forgive me.”  Maimi threw an ice pack towards him.

“Mom left because of your fooling around and you wanted to burn her picture.”  She said nonchalantly.

“Is that what happened?  I guess it was my fault for worrying you guys.”  Maimi grabbed the pamphlet from the table.

“Please go here and get yourself sober.  I will find my own place if you don’t go here at least to sober up.”  Her father’s eyes widened and noticed the time period he would have to be present and shook his head.

“I will promise you to sober and if I don’t, I will give you property as an apology.”  Maimi naturally agreed but the catch was she needed to wait until age eighteen to fully acquire the property from him.

A few weeks passed by without any problems until he was accused of defrauding the company of money this was a minor mistake on the accountant responsible for balancing.  He began to drink at the bar pondering over his next move and ended up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning.  Maimi watched him worry over his job until a representative came to apologize but it ruined his life as they took out his overused liver and looked pale than before.

He returned home with his daughter exhausted but he wrote out a withdrawal letter from the company to be transferred.  Weeks later, he was working near the home with a cane to help him transport around until he could get better.  He was happy that he was still alive but looking at his daughter, it was a struggle to parent by himself but the challenge to find another woman.

Maimi could smell the essence in the house but left it up to him to decide what he will do.  She took a bath and slept waiting for the next day.

[sakura_drop_]

So they have past together, huh..  Now they just need to solve things 

[oddball]

another good looking fic here Kuro, looking forward to more of this!

[kuro808]

@sakura: can it be easily done?  that shall be answered throughout the fic

@oddy: thnx I just hope I don't go over board with the story or change midway

Chapter 3


Maimi’s eyes shot open after a few hours of sleep and she turned to see she was out for about two hours.  Outside had grown silent and she sneaked outside to see her father slowly moving into his room for his slumber.

He glanced at her and wished her good night as she traveled downstairs to the sound of dishes being placed nicely into the cupboard.  She took a few steps toward the kitchen and one dish fell to the ground causing a deafening blow to the silence.  She saw the woman pick it up and wash it with the towel before wiping it.

“Hello.”  Maimi greeted her.

She turned and saw her face.  She was significantly younger than her mother and looked down at her to acknowledge her height.  Maimi walked by her to get a glass of water and ignored her presence but the woman was insistent in seeing his daughter.

“You must be his daughter, I am…”  Maimi stopped her.

“A woman my father bought home, did he pay you?”  The woman held up her hand to her mouth and shook her head.

“No, I am not a prostitute; I’m your father secretary from work.  He invited me over for dinner because of his limited mobility and it was my first day with him.”  Maimi signaled to stop the conversation.

“You must be the company’s apology present because they owe him more than this.”  Maimi’s words confused the woman so she offered her business card.

Maimi looked at the business card and placed it on the table.  She tracked the woman from the kitchen to the living room where she had left her coat.  The woman bobbed her head towards the girl and placed her hand on the door.

“Your father is proud of you for standing up to him when your mother left.  He has great expectations in you and he hopes you could see that in yourself.  I am not a person to take a parent’s position but let me help you in being an honorable woman.”  Maimi turned and walked back up the stairs as the woman locked the front door and left for the night.

Maimi returned to her bed and saw her phone vibrate, the sound was irritating to her but she looked at the lit up screen, seeing the text:

Am I the purpose of torture for you?  We should talk on what is bothering you.  Please respond.

-Airi

She stared at the screen and put her fingers into position to text her back but the weight of her thoughts fell quickly and she closed her eyes.  She woke up to realize it was morning and tried to create a message but she knew she didn’t have any time and called instead.

Airi’s voice mail popped up and she closed it instantly thinking that she had to get to school.  She got her uniform on and ran to the corner where she left Airi.  Maimi stood there for ten minutes with a light drizzle hitting her and she came strolling with a smile on her face.

“I saw my phone ring when you called me earlier.  You must have seen it this morning.  Gomen.”  Maimi placed her hand on her shoulder.

“If you want to know, then we should skip practice today.”  Airi’s eyes widened.

“We can’t… I mean I can’t because it is for the varsity team.”  Maimi smirked.

“I’ll talk to coach and if you need to audition, I will wait for you.”  Airi nodded as she followed Maimi to school.

As they approached the school gate, Airi clutched onto her uniform and Maimi turned to see her in distress.  She looked at her and gave her hug as they went their separate ways.  Maimi walked into her first class where Mano-chan was handing her a piece of paper.

“It is notes from yesterday, you need me to take notes today.”  Maimi refused and took her seat next to the window.

She thought about Airi’s text from last night and she wanted to explain that their relationship wasn’t a way to hurt her but trying to open her true feelings.  The class was a snoozefest but Maimi kept her attention on the board to get the last of the notes down before the transition to her next class but looking at the teacher, she knew she had to stay back.

Maimi heard the bell and stood in front of her as she was surprised to find her right there.  The teacher handed her a paper and Maimi glanced at it and bowed to her.  The teacher grinned at her and let her off to the next class where Airi had been waiting with a pair of passes in her hands.

“Sorry, I need to know.”  Airi said in a soft voice and they walked up to the student lounge where it was recently emptied out.

Airi gave her a cup of tea and Maimi looked at her as the feelings started to build up again like meeting someone you liked for a long time but she knew that the confidence was on her side.  Airi sat next to her as she leaned on her for a bit before letting her have the stage to present her problems.

“Airi… I still love you.  It is just I couldn’t let you understand my situation.  I personally would rather hurt myself rather than anyone else.  I kissed you because I can’t let myself take any more punishment for my family.  The incident still haunts me but it is so much deeper now than before.”  Airi clamped her hands together and forced a smile.

“I understand that you will hold back on personal matters but we cannot make this work if you are going to be uncommitted with me.  I wanted to say that I have found a person who has made me feel wonderful lately.  However, I cannot relinquish my feelings until I heard the truth from you and if we can still be friends while you solve your problems and then we can work back to our relationship.”  Maimi felt the piercing of the dagger through her heart but soon understood the meaning.

“I cannot blame you but I am curious of her name.”

“Risako.  She goes to school at our rival and she has been comforting me since we last met each other.  I cannot be with both of you but I want to keep our relationship stable by allowing me to try out for soccer without you being there.”  Maimi nodded.

Airi left the room first as the cup in her hands was soothing yet painful to bear anyone else’s feelings and sat there until her next class was ready to start.  The tryouts were hours away and now she is playing both the enemy and the friend.

[sakura_drop_]

Well... now I have mixed feelings... Because I LOVE AiRii pairing 

But I guess Maimi is really hurt, and if Airi loves her more, she should go back to her...

[oddball]

Yah AiRii is always interesting but I still think that airi's feelings are more for Maimi...

and Maimi is just making excuses to hide her love from Airi too.....

[kuro808]

@sakura: she should but what if Airi decides to not return such love?  That will be become an issue later

@oddy: Reciprocal relationship

Chapter 4


Maimi sat through her classes trying to avoid thinking about Airi but the memories flowed back painfully slow that she hid her face while the teacher was lecturing.  She wrote down little notes to nullify her emotions but it had no effect. 

Her final action was to stay in the stall of the bathroom but it was a source of annoyance with the people entering at random times.

By the end of the day, she had been exhausted and she wanted to go home but her lack of energy was holding back her decision.  She dragged herself to the library by the window overseeing the soccer field and watched tryouts from there.

Most of the new recruits had potential but not enough to get them to the varsity team until Airi stepped up and battled her way through the obstacles, making another spectacular goal.  Maimi appreciated her skill but she saw something unusual from the captain and held onto her chair.  The grip was getting tighter and then she saw someone in the bleachers.

Maimi ran out of the library and headed toward the soccer field.

Airi had been complimented by everyone except for the captain, who was commonly hard on her but it had been deeper than anyone suspected.  She cleared everyone off the field and started the one on one practice.  It was a shadow drill to combat the opponent into stealing the ball or tackling them into giving the possession up.

The tall lanky girl was the instigator of the drill but she was now on the other side defending the best player on the team.  The practice was to show the alpha female among the team which gives one the praise and the “C” badge and the other following directions for the season.

Airi was confident in trying to beat her; however the trick was to follow the movements until they voluntarily give up the possession without stealing.  She stood six inches in front of her and stared at her eyes.  She dribbled the ball forward chasing Airi backwards and started the drill, the team was surprised that she matched well with the captain of the team. 

The crowd watched intently as they struggled to maintain control of the offense.

“I guess you came here to take my spot, newbie.”  The captain surged forward but Airi swung the ball into her possession.

“I don’t want your spot; I wanted to play as a regular member, for Yajima’s sake.”  The captain’s eyes widened and stopped the ball’s movement.

“Yajima, I thought she was over you.”  Airi shook her head.

“We were always friends and rivals of each other.  She and I respect each other as players but we never broke apart a friendship.”  Airi explained.

“It was a mistake to let you tryout.”  The captain muttered under her breath.

Maimi ran onto the field breaking apart the crowd and faced the captain.  The captain smirked at her seriousness and kicked the ball to Maimi’s chest.

“I will not allow her to step on the field if I am captain of the team.”  She said bluntly as Maimi threw the ball back at her.

“Do you want me to fight for the patch?  Suzuki is the best player on this team and you know it.  She has dedication and heart like no one else but because you can’t beat her, doesn’t mean she gets from the team.”

The captain smirked and dropped the ball to the ground.  Maimi observed her movements and saw that she was going to kick the ball into Maimi but she saw it right through and swept her right foot out of the path and fell to her side.  She cried as the loud crack had hit her ears.

The sub-captain came running into her view and saw the pained expression from her face and turned towards Maimi.

“You cost us the captain of our team.”  She said in a serious tone.

“She will live but aren’t you second in command, so you can take over right?”  She paused and looked over at the fallen girl before looking back.

“We are not supposed to hurt each other…”  Maimi held up her hand.

“She did it to herself.  She was jealous of Airi since she came here and I finally saw it after Airi performed perfectly on the drills.  She isn’t here for the worthless patch but to be a player that can bring our team to victory.  Is that what you were scared about?”  She saw the captain look at her and gritted her teeth as she got up from the ground.

“I can never forgive you for taking me out like that.  Maimi will be front line with Suzuki for the time being.”  The captain winced as she took one step and was carried off by the team to the infirmary leaving the sub-captain, Maimi, and Airi left on the field.

Airi removed her cleats and stood up to the sub-captain as Maimi stood behind her.  The exchanges of words were going between the girls’ minds until the sub-captain kicked a mud patch toward Airi and Maimi stepped in front of her.

“If you are distraught from the captain’s actions, you should quit because we can only get better through hard practices and if you don’t want to practice hard, and then get off the team.”  Maimi warned her as she smiled.

“Airi can’t last forever here.  If she does anything to ruin our chances, you will become the casualty to the team, and we don’t care we lose you.  You cost us a game because you didn’t have the guts to kick it in.”  Her final words cut the shield that wanted to protect Airi and told Airi goodbye before leaving the field.

Airi clenched her fists and punched the air toward the sub-captain.  She knew that Maimi could have helped them but because of mental error, she would need to overcome that lapse to gain back the trust of the teammates.

[YajiSuzu MA]

Kurosawa-san...OMG i love your fanfiction stories really, i've already read a few, but i haven't left you a post,don't why haha, but i thank you for leading me to a wonderful fanfiction world... (^_^)  i waiting for next chapter  ;3

[kuro808]

@YajiSuzu: thnx, unfortunately I am multi-pairings person so it will not always be this way but I hope you enjoy this one

Chapter 5


Maimi threw on her bag and ran out of the library.  She never presented herself as angry but she wanted to face the captain to just throw her jersey right at her face but the image of Airi popped up.  She promised that she would play despite the captain testing out her alignment to the team.  It was splitting her into two pieces that equally wanted to make Airi happy.

She hid her face until Airi had stopped her at the gate with her arms out.

“Maimi… you protected me despite me wanting to face them on my own.  I can protect myself and Rii-chan now; I don’t need someone else to fight my battles.”  Maimi wrapped her arms around her friend and held her close.

“I can’t let you face them alone.  It would leave me depressed that they tortured you with their childish games.  They cannot do this, they should be open for anyone to join, if they don’t like you, I will be the one to convince them for you to stay.”  Maimi closed her eyes and patted the younger girl’s head as she ran back home.

The wind became the resistance home, the farther she pushed, the wind cut her progress, and she collapsed onto the sidewalk exhausted from the run.  She sat down at the corner where the people had just finished work and were walking home with their bags.  Then, she had notice a few other players on a rival team circling and then walking towards her.

“Yajima… why are you here?  Isn’t there practice?”  The biggest of the group spoke catching her attention immediately.

“I… I needed to go home.  I am just resting from all the running drills.”  She smiled as the group surrounded her.

“I heard Suzuki joined the team too.  Is she scared to face us again?  That girl couldn’t carry the team and she knew it.  Maybe, we can get another championship.”  Maimi stared at them before standing up.

“You can pick on me for all my problems but don’t say that she is not a leader.  Airi held up against you guys until you tackled her and took her out of the game.  Your dirty tactics should give no pride, lucky you guys won.”  The girl raised her fist and felt someone holding her back.

“Chotto matte!  If you want to fight, battle on the field.”  The blonde woman threw the hand aside and chased off the group.

“Yossie!  Long time no see.”  Maimi greeted as she glanced over her clothing.

“Maimi, I never expected you would skip out on practice.”  Maimi lowered her head.

“Gomen, I had to leave because…”  Yossie smirked.

“No need to explain.  We all have issues but if you can’t find a way to get around it, then you have an issue.”  The woman gave her a wink and scooped the soccer ball to her.

Yossie was Maimi’s hero growing up and was the inspiration for her to join soccer.  She had led the bulls to two city championships and her final goal boosted their school to the stratosphere with a win over the top ranked team in the nation.  However, Maimi could never reach the status because of the politics between parents, thus leaving her as a top reserve instead of a starter.  Yossie watched how the team was powerful yet blinded by leadership which she drew up in an anonymous letter to the coach.

Her coach was keen of Maimi’s ability but the threat of being fired was hanging over his head thus only producing lackluster seasons despite leading in scoring the past two years.  Every component was weak and Maimi was the key they needed to succeed further out of the rival schools.

Maimi followed her idol out to the park and dribbled back and forth as Yossie pointed out her foot skills.  The rustiness was showing on Maimi’s skills which disappointed Yossie but she knew that it was something else on her mind that had been weighing on her.

“Yajima, tell me what’s wrong?  This isn’t you.  I never had seen you look depressed playing the sport, why do you feel that way?”  Maimi gritted her teeth and approached the ball like she was going to kick it away but she passed back to Yossie and sat down on the grass.

“Everything, I can’t think anymore.  Everything seems to be ruined, I wanted to be normal, but I can’t do that.”  Yossie shook her head.

“Life is like soccer, the ball is your soul.  You can control it or another person can do so too but in the end, don’t you want to be the one to score?”  Maimi nodded.

“Everyone lives their own lives and you must control what you can control, everything else will fall on how you control it.  Maybe, you need a person who you can talk to get the stress off your body.  You may not consider that person at first but an older person will present a new thinking that will give your insight on your problems.”  Yossie lifted the ball and balanced it on the nose before juggling between her feet.

Maimi began to think about a person but was drawing a blank until the woman from last night greeted the girl.

“Ah, Maimi-chan.  I brought some stuff home for dinner.  Can you help me?”  Yossie signaled her to go home and Maimi picked up her school bags and followed the woman home.

The silence between them was normal for two strangers but they were trying to desperately trying to bring up something to talk about but never got anything out and arrived home to the father’s stone face.

“Ai-chan, arigatou for the groceries.  Maimi, are you skipping practice?”  Maimi slumped down on the floor and looked at the ceiling as her father came to her side.

“I cannot say how much I miss her.  I screwed up, but you have to get over that and help out with the now.”  Maimi closed her eyes and sat up to face him.

“You cannot bring her back.  She gave up after the times she was waiting for you and you abuse her like it was nothing.  You make everything horrible, you were the cause…”  Maimi stopped and stood up to help Ai with the cooking.

They stood next to each other prepping for the stew.  They exchanged glances until the woman lowered the knife to scoop up the vegetables to put into the pot.  She watched it cook down intently and let Maimi have a look at the pot.

“I am still an outsider so I understand why you feel awkward about the situation but your friend needs you to rid of whatever is bothering you.”  She said under her breath as Maimi looked at her.

“Yoshizawa Hitomi was a great player; everyone adored her skills as a soccer player but to have her as a friend is special.  She lends out advice when she can so if you want to tell me what is wrong, I will listen without interruption.”  Maimi bit down on her lip and opened her mouth slightly letting out air.

“I know you are trying your best.  Still, I fight myself in not calling you mother, because you are not but what can I call you?  I want to respect you but in any case I can’t formally express it in a way that will give you authority.  The other thing is… I cannot let go my feelings.”  Ai’s eyes widened as it seemed she was confessing her love but Maimi soon pursed her lips and stirred the stew.

A few minutes went by without any conversation and then Ai remembered her youth and brought out a picture of her and a friend.  Maimi saw the picture and her eyes swelled to the photograph.

“I see how you feel, we can speak privately.”  Her father turned to both of them as they bowed to him indicating dinner was ready to eat.

Maimi sat down toying with her food as her stomach gargling asking for nourishment but Maimi just put the spoon down and sat outside to herself.  She wanted to solve her problems but time was the enemy going against her and the mysterious Rii-chan becoming the biggest obstacle in her love life

[kuro808]

I'll admit that I wanted to do this split them up to only join them again but with a lot of forced love

Chapter 6


The night became the horror movie replaying in her head.

The “play” rolled through her memory.  The film was shot through and she saw the defender approaching her.  Her foot contacted her ball and the defender intercepted the ball.  Maimi tried to stop the ball from advancing but her own teammate tried to tackle but missed and forced her to an open kick into the net.

Maimi glared at them but the eyes coming back at her were daggers as she headed to the bench without a substitution.  The coach had his palms faced up and blocked the path of the girl.

She knew that the coach was right as she sat on the bench next to him.  No words could explain the situation and she walked into the locker room when the gun had been shot. 

She quickly changed into street clothes as the team was headed in and exited from the back door onto the school campus.  She took a couple of cautious steps towards the gate and was stopped by Mano who was walking in with her backpack.

She invited her to help her with singing and acting for her upcoming audition on Monday.  Since she was not occupied, she decided to hide out while the angry crowd filtered out from the stadium.

Mano opened the door to the auditorium as Maimi followed her as she sat in the back with her friend taking the stage.  She laid out her props and sip water before she started warming up her voice.

Maimi tilted her head back and looked up at the lights as she rested her eyes and opened to Mano’s angelic voice.

She moved up to the stage, tiptoeing to the edge where she could sit, and hear the voice up close.  Her heart moved faster until she was inches away from her and she caught her sneaking up on her.  With a smile, she offered a mask to help her play out the audition.

Maimi took the mask without any comment and saw a worksheet with lines on them typed in Times New Roman.  Maimi scanned through it and smirked when she took the lines into her head and acted it in her mind.

The love story between a masked warrior and a lady in the countryside after the burning of her crops was the scene Mano picked out.  Maimi pulled the mask over her face and tried to make it to Mano’s liking which was difficult at first but once she understood the scene in its entirety, she flowed into her character.

She acted rough towards Mano’s character as he was supposed to be a brute, misunderstood young man, who had seen war first hand, and had been accustomed to warfare until he met her.  The young maiden played by Mano lost her parents by a general hungry for power and the only crops burnt by his troops.

The warrior lacked compassion until he had seen her cry after the advancement.  He found himself lost between fighting and loving the woman who he had tortured. 

Maimi felt the mask was a nuisance and threw it onto the ground as she said out her lines loudly as she gracefully moved across the stage.  Mano followed with her lines until Maimi grabbed her and held her body on her right arm.

In character, she pecked her on the lips and opened to find Mano’s eyes were wide as melons and let her fall to the ground.  They both turned toward the exit as a whimper had entered the auditorium.  Maimi looked around to find no other person there but Mano was distraught with Maimi’s actions that she left instantly.

The soccer player had an eerie feeling that something was going to happen and she heard her phone ring once.  She opened to the message:

“IT’S OVER!!!”

Her mind only turned to the one person and ran as fast as she could, avoiding any vehicle in her way.  She collapsed to the ground, gasping for air as she knew she was close and used her last burst to arrive at her house.  The image of the girl with the jet black hair imprinted into her mind was the last thing she had seen.

Her heart sank as she betrayed the only girl who had faith in her and in another person’s arms; she threw her arms up, and walked away without trying to think about her.  The damage was done and now she had to apologize for her own stupidity.

A week had passed by and the events fell like dominoes.  Mano was the understudy as Maimi surprised her with a passionate kiss.  The soccer team was split between supporters and the captain, which made her even afraid to face anyone of them after the performance.  Then, the millions of calls she placed toward Airi apologizing for the scene.

First of the problems were solved after the main person fell ill and Mano performed beautifully with an older boy who persuaded the crowd of his character.  The charisma he performed with had enticed many to be with him but the rejection harmed him even more as Mano declined an invitation to the party as a gesture toward the main actress who should have been there for the kiss.

The soccer team had become a match that the captain had won because of the support and brute strength of her play.  Maimi faced up to her and offered to bury that play but it was beyond repair to what she had done even if she was right.  The coach demoted Maimi for lack of effort to the captain’s pleasure.

Airi saw the performance and her body crumbled after being a jerk to Maimi after apologizing for kissing her.  She ventured back to her house and texted her that Mano was great on stage but she was hesitant to show her face.  Airi understood her feelings but the relationship was in dire straits and giving Maimi her space was the solution but never expected that Risako was the permanent solution for the time being.

It became a white screen soon after and Maimi woke to the sun peeking through her shades and looking at the clock noticing it was an hour earlier than usual.  The smell of breakfast entered into the room with the smile of her father’s assistant laying her tray on the table.

Maimi could have knocked it over but after hearing Ai-chan out the night before, she needed an older feminine figure in her life.  Despite the rocky start, she had slowly adjusted to Ai-chan being a help for the time being but still had her doubts.

Then, the picture of the two friends poked into her mind space and she let out a few tears before tasting her fluffy eggs.  The memory of her mother shot through and polished the plate for her new female elder.

Ai took her plate and she dressed up as she kept her attention toward her phone and flipped to see no new messages.  Then, she heard a yelp from outside as the toothy grin of Airi had welcomed her and Maimi met her outside as she had remembered her dream.

“Good morning Maimi-chan.”  She greeted as Maimi waved Ai goodbye and entered into the car with the two as the only passengers.

They both sat quietly in the back seat with the fog covering the windows.  Airi decided to put her legs up and caught Maimi’s attention.  Maimi reached over to search her bag but the petite hand blocked the bag’s entrance.

“I thought about it last night and I am glad we are still friends.  No one has courage like you do.  I appreciate everything that you do.”  Airi latched onto Maimi but she distanced herself away from her.

“I need… to say something.”  Maimi felt her throat gone dry but she lunged forward and gave her a kiss on the lips.

The half a minute they stayed in the embrace, both froze in the back, until Maimi lifted the younger girl up.  Maimi had a lopsided smile as she wrapped her arms around her one more time and it was now a problem to relive her nightmare of winning Airi back despite being so close once again.

[kuro808]

Thnx for the thank you's and I hope you guys like how it is going, it will get back to the main coupling soon enough

Chapter 7


Maimi walked into class dizzy from the after effects of the kiss and sat down looking at the board. 

SELF STUDY

She glanced over to Mano who was deeply reading her textbook and wrote down her notes as usual but the appearance of her pencil concerned the girl.

“What are you studying?”  Maimi asked in a soft voice.

“History for now, you should get on the ball for the test too.”  Mano’s warning gave Maimi the opportunity to read the notes but obviously something was on her mind so she opened her book to find the words swirling in a clockwise motion.

She carefully put the terms into the right place but they were slowly breaking away from her and she closed her eyes.  She opened them back up to the classroom with her book open and pencil in hand following the important words for the test.  Maimi finally looked up to see the captain in front of her with her arms crossed.

“Coach has decided to make an open competition for captain.  I might as well announce it as you…”  Maimi smiled.

“Don’t assume I will not audition for it.  I will consider the challenge to beat you for the spot although I wonder what you will do to prevent me from having it.”  She gave Maimi a smirk and looked at her at eye level.

“I think it would be a great challenge just that the sub-captains have first dibs so you can compete against them before having me.  Anyways practice is earlier to get people out there so I expect you out there?”  Maimi nodded as the captain moved her hair away from her eyes and scoffed at the girl.

Mano-chan looked toward Maimi concerned about the opportunity as Maimi kept writing down notes and she leaned over to put her hand on the thigh.

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?”  Maimi answered with her eyes on the text book.

“You fighting for the top spot, why are you doing it?  You usually…”  Mano stopped her thinking and began to realize that she was fighting for another reason and removed her hand to get back to studying.

After a few minutes into the next chapter of studying, she picked up her books and headed toward the library where it was much cooler and drier than in the classroom.  She ventured to her usual place and saw the smiling Airi with her book open and scanning through the pages for notes.

“Captain Yajima, that has a nice ring to it.”  Airi showed off her toothy smile.

“I’m only doing it so you can get the people off your case.”  Her answer stunned the younger girl but it was expected that she would divert the real reason from her.

“Right… Why can’t you tell me the truth?”  Maimi opened her book and wrote down the notes as quickly as she could but grabbed her pen hard.  Airi could see through her façade easily and that was her best trait as a friend but she had to divert the attention away from her.

“Because Risako is still your girlfriend.”  Airi bit down and scanned through the book before looking up again.

“Do you really care if she is?”  The older girl nodded.

“I don’t want to break up between you two because of our history.  You were the one to find us in the auditorium kissing before realizing the truth.”  Airi placed down her pencil and stood next to Maimi as she was concentrating on note taking.

“I still like you.  You make it hard on me to decide between you and her every time you decide to show up as a friend and to only realize that it was my mistake for misunderstanding.  If you want to get rid of me, why can’t you do it now?”  Her voice rose catching the librarian’s attention and Maimi placed her instrument down.

“Because it is the only way you could ever see why it hurts me to see you with her.  You have more in common with her than me and when you run back to me because everything fell apart, it crushes me that we can’t stay forever.”  Airi walked back and picked up her stuff from the table.

She turned away from her and left the library without saying goodbye.  Maimi knew that she was right.  She was trying to fight for her back but it couldn’t be made easy to involve just her.  It had to be a grand event and even if she did get the position, it didn’t guarantee her a shot of redemption.  However, a test was on her agenda and she wrote down the last bit before facing the obstacle.

With five minutes before the class, she wrapped up her studying and walked to the classroom where everyone was filling in their seats.  She got one near the chalkboard and looked up at the clock as she laid out her pencils and erasers for test preparation.

“Minna~  let’s get this test going.”  The teacher yelled out and was handed a booklet for her test.

She felt confident to breeze through but the first question slammed her back to earth and she acknowledged the struggle ahead.

Every five minutes, Maimi looked up seeing the time melting away from her as the pencil dragged on the paper with dullness that would irritate a lot of people with its sounds.  Her eraser was slowly becoming a transformed with every mistake on her test but with luck, she managed to avoid any breaking pencil tips and walk away relieved with her work.

She took a deep breath and headed to the cafeteria but something told her not to go and then the raven black-haired girl came in front of her and stared into her eyes.

“Risako… why are you here?”  Maimi asked.

“Airi was venting about how you are being mean to hear and she was wondering why you would take on the captain.”  Maimi pursed her lips and shook her head.

“She knows why I was bringing up the past, because she was immature over the incident and when she wanted to be mature, she took it upon herself to play victim.”  Maimi explained as Rii tried to interrupt her speech.

“Do you like her?”  Risako kept repeating that question as Maimi shot out fire at her until Risako shoved her into the wall.

The question was firmly in her mind but she couldn’t answer it as the feelings came back only to the pain that she had been put through.  Risako watched Maimi fight within her mind’s limits as she looked toward Airi in the cafeteria.

“I do…”  She squeaked with Risako taking a deep breath.

“Then, why do you have to make it that it was Airi’s fault for the breakup.”

“The reason is because she did break up with me and seeing you two, I couldn’t win over Airi with you lurking in the corner.”  Airi approached them and gazed at Maimi.

“Risako was there despite every struggle I had to keep you in my mind and she listened to every discouraging thought while you never apologized for your actions.  Even if I still cared, why do you torture me between her and you?”  Airi streamed out her tears and Maimi held out her palm.

“The reason is because I wanted a trust system.  You never wanted an easy path after the incident; you insisted that she could solve the problems so I let you go until you realize that I fit better with you.  Then, the cycle happens again leaving me wondering if you are the one playing games.”  Risako stepped in front of the two.

“I cannot let this continue.  Airi, I wanted to be friends but going beyond that restricts our own relationship as it is now.  Maimi, don’t misunderstand our relationship.  Airi talked highly of you despite her own frustration until the end which we shall end and you can be with Maimi as you pleased.”  Airi extended her hand towards Risako.

“I’m sorry.”  Airi apologized as she left with a half-smile and her heart hanging from the ground with a thin piece of string before fully disappearing from sight.

Maimi turned back to the library as the thought of facing the captain would give her a chance to bury their memories for new ones on the field.

[kuro808]

Chapter 8


The last bell roared throughout the school grounds and the students crowded around the soccer field with the team surrounding the area they would participate in their battle.

The captain arrived in her gear to the field looking around for the opponent.  She mocked her as the sub captains laughed and suddenly a hole was created in the wall as Maimi walked into crowd and placed a ball on the ground.

“No goalie and no breakaway goals.”  Maimi agreed to the stipulations and flipped a coin to determine who would gain control of the ball.

The captain called heads and won with a smirk on her face.  She passed the ball over to the captain and Maimi stood on her toes in defense to the captain.

She pulled toward the right and slowly dribbled toward the sidelines.  Maimi eyed the captain from a few feet away before making a vicious cut embarrassing the girl.  Maimi quickly recovered and stole the possession of the ball to dribble it back to the top.

Maimi leaned towards her left and moved the ball between her feet as the captain struggled to play defense against her.  Quickly, she tackled her down to win back the ball and dribbled it back to the top as she taunted the fallen girl.

Maimi limped back feeling the pain from her right ankle and stood as straight as she could waiting for the captain’s attack.  She concentrated on her hips and countered with a sweep under her foot as she proceeded forward without possession and Maimi was at the top again.

“I underestimated your skills, now I shall win it.”  She surged forward toward the injured ankle and Maimi skillfully avoided the attack and delivered a strong kick towards the goal, missed the crossbar by an inch.

The captain stood at the top waiting for the ball to be passed back to her and held it under her foot until she moved toward the injured right ankle and forced Maimi to make an awkward move.  She saw her wince in pain but Maimi managed to poke the ball away to give her time to face her.

She slid over to the right and knuckled the ball passed her wide of the net.  Maimi took a deep breath before the ball came rolling back to her.  She could see the captain’s frustrations slowly appearing in her eyes and dribbled the ball forward as the captain backpedaled for a bit before surging again but came away with nothing as Maimi had a clear shot.

She shortened her leg movement to give torque to the spinning ball and watched the ball swing from the right side to the left.  The bar was kissed by the ball and into the back of the net.

Airi came running out of the crowd and hugging the new captain as everyone looked at the fallen girl with the “C” on her uniform.  The coach came from the crowd and looked down at the fallen captain as she gave off her patch.

“Kawamura, get out of here.  Enjoy the new team.”  He threw the patch over to her as she winked at her as the team quickly surrounded her.

The team gave out a quick cheer and Maimi noticed the former captain was gone.  She followed the coach back to her office to ask about her but she wanted to cherish the accomplishment and midway between her thought, the coach let her in for a private meeting.

“Yajima-chan, congratulations on winning the captainship.”  Maimi took a seat as he took a seat across of her.

“It was an effort that I truly appreciated in a long time.  Yoshizawa labored me to give you the patch but I know you have been struggling so I held back to see what would trigger you to come back at the highest level.”  Maimi nodded as he threw her a water bottle to satisfy her thirst.

“Why didn’t you say it out there?”  Maimi asked as the coach tilted his head low as the new captain saw that it might not have been earned.

He hesitated as the words seemed to crawl into his mind but she saw Maimi’s eyes starting peel through his thin exterior and quickly gave into the truth.

“She was going to transfer to the rival high school because this school was lacking talent.”  The words angered her.  She looked up at the coach and stormed out of the room.  She walked into the locker room where the rest of the team was socializing and slammed her fist into the metal locker.

“Sub-captains, report.”  She instructed as the two dillydally to the front and Maimi clamped onto their patches and ripped them off their uniform.

“This will end the captain system for our team.  We are all equal to each other, no one is better than the others; no person will slack from now on.  Are we clear?”  The room was filled with murmured answers and Maimi pounded the locker and got an immediate audible answer from the group.

“Let’s go practice.”  Maimi led the group out and started with warm-up exercises with the coach standing looking over his notes.

She centralized her attention around the sub-captains as her enemies to not prevail over the rest of the team and asked them to sit out unless they wanted to participate.  They followed orders and resisted to take on Maimi’s offer as they all took laps around the field.

The coach observed Maimi motivating her team to push until they all were exhausted, many struggled past the third lap and Airi was the only one close to overcome the distance between them but she gave out after the fifth lap.  Maimi was confident that she could change them and instructed them to sprint across the field.  The coach nodded toward Maimi and they all started to push through with a whine.

Maimi pushed them to go further until they gassed out and then a blonde lady came with her ball.  She winked at the coach and he shook his head.  Yoshizawa saw the team was under performing at the level they should be and forced them into more drills to build their stamina.

After an hour of stamina drills, they took a break to regain their wind as Maimi walked up to Yoshizawa.  She could see that she was keeping up more than the others but still could improve before the matches started.

“I got to admit you have heart to bring this team back.”  Maimi looked up at her idol with her hands on her knees panting for breath.

“I cannot do this alone, I need help.”  Yoshizawa gave her a smile and a pat on the head.

“You learn quickly that leadership requires a team effort.  You have to earn respect as a captain and if you must, you have to be hard on everyone and two hundred times on yourself.  I think you can lead them through dribbling, I need to ask the coach for a favor.”  She left Maimi alone as she called out her team to start dribbling down the field.

The former captain marched up to the coach who was relieved to rid of the old captain of the team but through her eyes she was furious over the transfer.  She felt like arguing the call against him but she could sense the nerves growing in him and took him off to the side.

“I cannot disclose the situation but her parents wanted her to transfer out.”  HE said in a soft voice avoiding attention from Yoshizawa.

“If that was the case, why was she on the team in the first place?  She was setting up to be a spy for this team.”  He nodded slowly.

“Yajima-chan was facing against her and then we get Suzuki from the other school, so I thought we would be settled and a day later a transfer request came onto my desk.  I wanted to rip it to shreds as I knew what was going to happen but I couldn’t bear giving up without a fight and then a donation washed away my hopes.”

Yoshizawa leaned onto the wall as she soaked up the issue at hand and shook her head to the impending trade off.  The coach gave the roster to the player and saw that their team was suitable for a run but their front line needed work and gave her an idea to spice up the competition.

She gathered them up at the middle of the field and instructed them to take on each other to gain their positions.  Their eyes solidified at the goal and aimed toward the ball as Yoshizawa blew the whistle and the game was on.

The team hesitated to make any hasty moves as one would dribble down to only be intercepted but Maimi turned it up by driving by a few defenders and delivered a bend that kissed of the top crossbar and landing outside the goal.  She dove but it was going the other way with a few scuffles in between.

The first position was earned through a corner kick and a header into the goal.  With two people down, nine more spots were up for grabs.  Half an hour into the melee, Maimi finally got her score without an assist and earned her a spot and a well-deserved rest.

An hour had passed since Maimi got her kick in and Airi broke through with a score and dove toward the sideline in excitement.  Yoshizawa blew the whistle and changed it into a half-field game where the boundaries were enemies to the rest of the girls.

The next fifteen minutes, three more spots were filled leaving six to fill four more spots.  The sub-captains were exhausted from their run but the determination was still in their bodies to earn their spots and with the duo, they got their spots, and left the group scrambling for two more before taking the bench for the first game.

They were pushing each other for the ball, easily calling for fouls, and Yoshizawa ignored them as they desperately pulled easy shots on goal.  Then, she saw the four working together to get the goal and blew her whistle as they collapsed on the middle of the field.

“You guys did a great job and the four will be the backbone we need as a team.  Yajima will captain this team and she shall earn your respect over the next two weeks.  For now, hit the shower and heal up as I will give you a day off before strapping up for another hard practice.”

Maimi walked toward the locker room with her forehead speckled with sweat and dragged her feet with her body heavy from a tough practice.  Airi swung her arms around the captain’s hips and pressed her face into her back.

“What is it, Airi?”  She asked.

“Nothing.  It is great to just be like this.”  Her words soothed the interior wounds but outside she was in pain.

[YajiSuzu MA]

hi!  <(^.^)>Sorry for not posting before.. i really like the way you describe the game between Maimi and the captain, thank you for all your creativity and time,(well because it's not only this fic, btw others are awesome too) hehe, hope you're great, see you next post (^_~)

[kuro808]

@YajiSuzuMA  thnx for the support, I never think its that great... but the hope is to get people to like the story, I hope because a few write about the kids (most are already adults) so its just something I hope I can follow through on

Chapter 9


Maimi sat in the locker room with a towel hung over her head as her teammates showered off.  Her thoughts lumped together and her body adjusting to the pain, she walked over to the shower, and sat in the stall.

Everything was coming together to gain back her final year in school but questions were like bricks on her head and they kept piling until she could find a way to break it with one strike.

“Yajima-san, are you okay?”  Airi removed the towel and she looked up with flames in her eyes.

“I guess so…”  She said in a low voice as the crystals hit her and ricocheted onto her friend.

Airi waved goodbye and closed her eyes again with her thoughts pushing down and the shower becoming less effective with every second ticking by until she turned it off with the doubts broken in front of her.

The locker had emptied out and the sound of her ringtone was going non-stop since she left the shower.  She picked it up and heard her voice elevated through the speaker.

“Where are you?  You should be home by now.”  Maimi bit down on her lower lip and zoned back to her own world.

“Ai-chan, I won over the captainship for soccer so I need to do my responsibility as the leader.  I’m sorry for not telling you that soon.”  There was a pause and Ai put her lips by the phone.

“Ah I see… Congrads for gaining that title.  We should be celebrating for your accomplishment.”

“No party.  I want to push myself to become better and now I need personal time.”

“Okay.  Come home soon.”  She hung up and Maimi quickly changed into her clothes to head off the school grounds where a familiar car was waiting in front.

Airi stood in front of the gates with a toothy smile and offered a ride home.  Maimi stepped into the car followed by Airi.   The younger girl forced herself onto Maimi as she rested her head on her chest.

She wanted to say something with Airi close to her but her heart kept beating faster as her words become rubble to the wrecking ball of feelings coming towards her.  Maimi closed her eyes and toyed Airi’s ear until she shot up and brushed off the finger.

“That’s irritating you know.”  Airi uttered as she lay down next to her again.

“Imagine if we were at that stage again when we stayed in your room.”  Maimi smirked with her eyes focused on the moon outside over the sunset.

Airi began to think about that day where she nervously wanted Maimi to go through the romance stage, the stage beyond the public displays of affection, a seriousness that Airi didn’t expect.  She would let her wrap her arm around her slender body.  Maimi smelt the essence of her freshly washed hair and freeze for that time.

The world never felt better to either of them but Airi couldn’t keep her emotions settled and would wiggle out the hold without fail.  Maimi’s eyes gazed at her without saying any words but she knew there was no comfortable level in being close but she ever wondered if it would happen again.  The next few times it would last longer but those eyes gave her fear that she had done something wrong.

Airi came back to the present with the intention to do it one more time without trying to break away.  Airi wrapped her arms around her and clamped on like she was hanging on a tree.  Her eyes forced to snap together and held her breath like the past attempts but it felt different, like someone was gluing her hands on Maimi.

“Airi, what’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry for the past.  I’m sorry that you had to suffer.”  Her tears penetrated through the uniform.  Maimi patted her head with her gentle touch as they pulled in front of the house.

Ai-chan saw the limousine pull up and stood outside as she waited for Maimi to step out of the vehicle.  She looked outside and couldn’t let Airi force herself to let her be held and gently pried her off the elder girl.

“Airi, see ya tomorrow.”  Maimi grabbed her bags and walked out as Ai saw the girl with watery eyes.

Maimi walked by her without saying anything and ran up to her room to her out her frustrations on the bed.  She didn’t notice the girl was in tears and walked in with little information to why she was crying.

“Maimi… I have dinner ready.”  She stood there for a few minutes before leaving the room.

She felt lost in the day with the peaks and valleys in her life but it was something that Airi felt uncomfortable with, that made her frustrated.  She knew that the joke would big AIri but when she took the initiative, it was shocking that she wanted to be wrapped one more time like before.  After the few minutes of letting out the tears, she took out her phone, and dialed Airi’s number.

“Maimi, do you hate me?”  She paused for a bit before replying

“No.  I don’t hate you but why did you do that?”

“Because as a girlfriend, I didn’t trust you when you had that bad day.  The day I saw you with her, I wanted to rip you out of my heart.”  Airi took a deep breath.

“But, you continually explained that you were helping her out and until Mano-chan said that she is always loyal to her friends that is when I regretted letting you go.”

Maimi choked up a bit as she forgave her but something was still clawing at her and she knew that bringing her up would only complicate things.  However, it was Risako that gave her an opportunity to win her back.

“How is Rii-chan doing?”  She asked whispering through the phone.

“She has been well.  I know she doesn’t take these types of things too hard but she gets a lot of confessions from the boys.”  Airi laughed.

“I feel guilty myself for moments of weakness within me to allow jealousy take over.  You have been a constant since I have met you and you can thank Risako for being a good friend.”  Airi bit down onto her lip as she acknowledged her help.

Maimi heard a rumbling noise from outside and looked out onto the street seeing people outside.  She hung up on Airi to take a closer look and ran out to see three people looking down on somebody.  Once Maimi was outside, the group scattered, and a bruised girl was laying down on the pavement in a daze.  She had a cut across her forehead and soon lost consciousness to Maimi’s face.  She called Ai to get an ambulance.

“Rii-chan.”  She whispered as she closed her hand into a fist and followed the track of the group.

[kuro808]

To the readers,

I ran out of juice for this fic and tbh it may never be finished, sorry to everyone who have been reading it, but I will shelve it for later