Ayumi's long interview for Billboard with parts concerning her relationship with Riho.
Credits to ryu_uchida for the translation
"I will do my utmost with the dance I inherited from you, so here I go!" This is an interview that connects the end of Morning Musume '15, which coincided with the graduation of Sayashi Riho, and the beginning of the new tale that is Morning Musume '16.
Like a love letter... This was how Ishida Ayumi felt upon appearing on stage to perform the solo dance part she inherited from her senpai Sayashi Riho, a girl who is younger than her but nevertheless the one she had been chasing from behind since joining Morning Musume about five years ago and all the way to the last day of Morning Musume '15. What are your thoughts on MM '16 and the current tour?"I got really exhausted after the first concert of the current tour. I think this was because I had the feeling that I had to show something new as we've now become MM '16. Up until recently, I had been doing dance battles with Sayashi-san so maybe I began over-thinking things like exerting by myself the efforts of two people. Because of this, I got very tired."
How did you feel upon learning of Sayashi-san's graduation?"Everything went white and the only thing that came out was tears. To put it another way, I couldn't think at all at that time. Everyone was gathered in a room and we heard directly from Sayashi-san that she was going to graduate. She then left the room and a staff member said 'I know that you have a lot of worries...' --- and it was at that moment that I started bawling again. Probably, the biggest thing I felt at that moment was anxiety."
After Sayashi-san's graduation announcement, you wrote in your blog, "If I don't say that everything's going to be okay, somehow I get the feeling that everything's going to fall apart. So... It's because it's right now that everything will be fine!""I wrote that with the feeling that everyone was worried. I was worried. The fans were worried. The other members wrote things like 'I'm going to do my best!' or "I have to stay positive.' But for me somehow, I wanted to convey even just a little bit that we were one with the fans in worrying."
In all honesty, what kind of existence was Sayashi Riho-san for you?"I was very often looking at Sayashi-san from behind. There were also times when I got to stand side by side with her but during triangle formations Sayashi-san was the lead and I was diagonally behind. It was like this for "One・Two・Three," for example. After concerts, I would think to myself that 'It was fun!' but at the same time the image of me looking at Sayashi-san's back with the audience as the backdrop would come to mind as well. There was also some frustration there. Of course, I had to admit that I had to stay in the back because Sayashi-san was in front. But I was also a little frustrated with myself for admitting that. That is why when talking about Sayashi-san, although it's not about winning or losing, I don't like being too honest."
So you have this feeling that you had been chasing her from diagonally behind for five years?"To be sure, but acknowledging that is also frustrating (laughs). But her image from diagonally behind was really cool so there was great admiration there."
At one point, you said that you would never be able to compare to Sayashi-san. But in the end, you two were able to become a pair and your dance battles became something indispensable to Morning Musume concerts. Looking back at it now, it was truly an irreplaceable time, wasn't it? "That's right. Looking back, I was surprised to find that there were a lot of songs in which the two of us danced together. I never imagined that someday all of this would disappear so when she announced her graduation I began counting the number of songs in which I had the pleasure of dancing alongside Sayashi-san and there were a great many! I felt great joy and sadness after."
You also said this during Sayashi-san's final concert at the Budokan, right? That things are going to get lonely as you won't be able to have dance battles with her anymore."I looked back at things properly. This concert, that concert, and that concert too! In all of them we had the chance to dance together. It really surprised me. Hmm... Fufufufu"
Why the laughter?(continues laughing... then a long silence)
"Thinking that there's an end makes one sad. It never occurred to me that this would end so when Sayashi-san announced her graduation it was such a surprise that it brought me to tears. I realized that we should really treasure every moment. I thought that I would always be able to dance with her like normal, but this wasn't the case. This is what I've been feeling a lot."
Was there anything about that final concert at the Budokan that has left an impression on you?"What has really remained in my memory is the second song, 'Kimi no Kawari wa Iyashinai.' From the main stage, Sayashi-san and I walked as leads towards the central platform near the audience. With that kind of production, the two of us having a dance part together, being able to have duet parts with her, the phrase 'No One Can Take Your Place' really hitting home, and a part where we look each other in the eye... In that moment, I was like 'Whoa! Isn't this cool?' I remember this very well."
Watching the Budokan DVD, I felt that Ishida-san was like a little maiden who's in love."I get that a lot (laughs). With 'ENDLESS SKY' and others, I cried even though I knew that it still wasn't the last time I would be able to sing with Sayashi-san. But unlike my tears when Sayashi-san first announced her graduation, which were tears of sadness and anxiety, my tears during the Budokan concert were pleasant ones with the feeling of hoping Sayashi-san gets to do her best abroad and of sending her off happily."
What was it like between Sayashi-san's graduation announcement and the Countdown Party?"What was foremost in my mind was showing to the fans that the 13 of us were having fun. Immediately after Sayashi-san's announcement, I showed the fans my anxiety, so after that I thought it would calm the fans to show that all of us were doing our best and really enjoying ourselves. It was a great time."
What kind of day was the day of the Countdown Party?"Even after the concert had ended, I didn't get the sense that it was the end. 'Was this really Sayashi-san's last?' It didn't hit me even at the very end. Before that I was always thinking that I wouldn't be able to dance or stand on stage with her anymore so I was expecting to be super sad at the end of the concert but what happened was more like, 'Is this really the end?'"
Perhaps it was like losing your sense of reality?"That's it. I felt that my sense of reality was gone."
I want to ask this of you precisely because you are Ishida-san. For you, what kind of performer was Sayashi-san and did you think she was an expressive artist?"The thing that made Sayashi-san's performance great was that it was convincing/persuasive. I really liked this and now that I think about it again, it's something that not even Sayashi-san, who possesses this quality, would necessarily know how to consciously express. It's not something that you can have just by putting your mind into it. Maybe it's something that was born out of her awareness of being a Morning Musume... However, she herself was not the type to have great self-confidence. So how was she able to perform that persuasively? This is what I truly think. Also, her singing was powerful and her dancing, unlike other people, was filled with different expressions and she was able to make the dances her own upon standing on stage. As for me, I'm the type who learns the choreography as taught by the teachers and just performs that on stage. I'm not that good at that kind of originality. That's why I think Sayashi-san, who is able to do this, is cool. At the same time, since we got to dance as a pair and I had more confidence in my sharpness, I was able to do my best in shining more brightly in that aspect. However, from here on out, I'm going to have to discover my own brand of dancing as well. This is something that's been in my mind a lot lately."
Sayashi Riho-san is studying abroad and experiencing various things and assuming she returns to this world as a performer, what kind of performer do you think she will be?"The image of Sayashi-san is that of one having a powerful voice and a dancing style that hides great power (like that in 'Tsumetai Kaze to Kataomoi'), but I think that studying abroad will let her develop dancing with more carefree expressions. Also, there's also the fact that entering Morning Musume seems to stop aging. I myself am turning 20 next year but even I can't believe that because I'm still so childish. (laughs) Iikubo Haruna-san, who has passed the age of 20, has mature expressions and such but she also has her junior high school-like playful moments so I still think of her as a child. So for Sayashi-san, who has graduated from Morning Musume, I think she will become even more of a mature woman compared to me, even though I'm older than her."
Would you like to dance together with Sayashi-san on stage again someday?"I have two thoughts on this. The first is that I want to see her dance as part of the audience. The second is that I want to dance with her in more of a fusion format than a battle format. Seeing her new dance, I want to show her my new dance as well and blending the two and showing this to everyone would be great fun."
And now, starting with Hello Project's winter concert, you have inherited Sayashi's solo dance parts in 'Tsumetai Kaze to Kataomoi.' How did you feel upon dancing her parts?"Honestly, I was scared. When the manager told me that I was going to inherit these parts, I did not rejoice. 'Aren't those Sayashi-san's?' But Sayashi-san herself knew that I was going to do her parts. So regardless of how I felt, I wanted to show that I'm taking up this mission. And so I stood on that stage. And when the intro of the song started, I think all the fans were thinking about what would happen to Sayashi-san's dance parts, and everyone had all sorts of emotions about it, but when the time came I appeared in the middle. I remember all too well how I felt at that moment. I was scared... but I also wanted to show myself dancing alone. However, it was not the fans who were in my mind at that moment. It was Sayashi-san. 'I will do my utmost with the dance I inherited from you, so here I go!' On my blog post that day, I read comments which made me feel that I was able to successfully transmit my feelings. There were those who wrote that my hair swinging about reminded them of Sayashi-san and there were even those who gave positive reviews. It made feel a little relieved. I'm glad I was able to express my feelings."
By the way, that was the first time in my life that I cried because of an idol's solo dance."Eeee?"
Just like you said, I saw in your dance everything from fear, sorrow, all the way to determination."There was indeed a whole lot of feelings. One was dancing with the thought of having inherited Sayashi-san's feelings. Another was fans who would think of it as a negative that I've inherited the dance. But truly I was feeling a lot of things at the time."
End part:
(after explaining that her goal is to become someone who will be recognized as necessary to the group)
I see. So you want to become an absolute necessity to the group? (the interviewer here is referencing Riho's title of Absolute Ace)"This talk has somehow turned into something big. (laughs) But, yes, I want to become so."
Interviewer: Hiraga Tetsuo
Topic: The dance aces (Riho/Ayumi) - SayaIshi (Read 51788 times)