Okay, gonna sit my ass down and do some commenting for Steph now~
First of all:
Also, I try my best to keep writing since Bee won´t coment if I don´t post more ¬¬
Don't make me sound like such a douche! ... xD I was just trying to give you a bit of a push with your writing! You needed it!
Anyway, I've been really feeling the AiEri lately. Honto honto - I have to wonder why they haven't always been a favourite of mine. Ai, and Eri, my two favourites.
Dunno, since I started talking to you more... and tumblr >___> .. and you know.. *that*... and OMG I just miss Eri and I dread Ai's graduation and when you put the two together...
I've said it before and I'll say it again - thank you for coming back, and continuing to fangirl, despite all the hurdles you've had to jump to get here. It's a little saddening not to see more support for AiEri, but keep doing your best, ne?
Also. You should calm down with the tumblring and do more writing
Quick side note before I start: you're still writing 'grave' instead of 'grab' - it's no big deal, but it throws me off a little sometimes while reading ^^; I'm sure you'd want to use the correct word as well
Let's get on with the commenting!
Saying I love youWow. I'm aware that saying 'I love you' is a big deal, but it's almost been treated like a 'Will you marry me?' in this one-shot xD
Case in point:
“Then, she looks at me and I knew something was in her mind. Looking at her eyes she told me. I have to say she almost cry and so did I, she had teary eyes” Risa’s smile was bigger and Eri giver a sad one “That was probably the happiest moment of my life”
Hehehe. Firstly, that's not exactly the picture I have of Reina confessing to somebody, and secondly, I don't think I've read anything of TanaGaki yet (I know rndy has a whole fic dedicated to them, which I don't know why I haven't read yet >__<), but they are really sweet here, and a good complement to the AiEri couple. Still a little unsettling for me to read about Ai and Gaki in the same fic and NOT with each other, but you did a great job here!
Anxious/confused turtle is adorable
“It took a while; actually” Risa keep her eyes on the cup “Like a day”
“What?!” Eri push Risa away with one hand “A day?! How’s that a while? It’s nothing. I’ve been waiting for a week!” Eri scratch the back of her head in frustration.
Just look at these girls overreacting!
There are people out there who wait their whole lives for a 'I love you' in return, I bet. Little drama queens. GakiKame is always such a good read though (as friends, of course). Even in fics, you just can't do any wrong throwing them into the same conversation. Their chemistry is just wonderful
Gotta wonder why Ai didn't return the confession though - how is it even possible to resist when you're getting one from somebody as cute as Eri?! Simply does not make any sense!
“Well, your girlfriend decided to take my girlfriend out” Risa pass a piece of adhesive tape.
And my mind supplemented: "So to fix this situation, let's make out and become girlfriends :3"
And THEN I realised that you'd actually meant REINA. Was that a mistake?
“Well, you see…” Ai sit on the sofa as Reina did the same next to her “She told me already” Reina look at her confused “She say it… to me” Reina look still confused about it but after thinking about it she figurate out.
“Oh I see” Reina though about it
I'm having a bit of a lol moment here... xD It's funny that Reina knew right away what Ai was talking about. 'She say it... to me' could've easily been Eri proposing to Ai for them to get kinky in bed or something
It's just amusing... I think this reflects Steph more than anything, and her values when it comes to a relationship. I've never really been in love before (let's not count my fangirling
) so I can't relate 100%. I can't relate to anything I read or write here 100%
“Ha! Risa will have to pay me now” Reina cry getting a strange look from Ai “We made a bet” Reina said nonchalantly “She said you’d be the first saying it”
*Bee gasps*
Tanagakiiii! That's not the kind of thing you want to be playing with!
“I don’t know, I mean. I totally want to but I’m not sure when the right time is. I wanted to be special” Ai almost says to herself looking straight.
Saying it in return right there and then would've made it more special than anything though, wouldn't it have? The first time the both of them telling each other, and the moment shared.
Ai was thinking too much! Baka!
“Well. If you want my advice. There’s not such thing as the right time” Ai keeps a straight look listening what Reina said “You just say it. By saying those words it turn out… special”
Yes! Listen to the Tanaka! She has love advice that's so simple, yet so true... and like Ai, I can't believe such a thing can come out of her...
Awwwww. I really liked how in the next part, you wrote it from Ai's first person perspective. It really did shed quite a bit of light on what was going through her mind at the time Eri first said those words... and just finding out in general, how your Ai finds it hard to express herself in that way. And Eri here is probably as affectionate as she really is in reality; adorable!
I smile at you and nod, so you bring a piece of cake to my mouth. I normally wouldn’t like this kind of things, I have hands I can do it by myself but you always do it so now I’m used to it and you’re the only one I’d ever allow to do that to me.
Ai being a sucker for Eri is just...
I smile thinking about you even though you’re right next to me “Why the smile?” I look at you “Just thinking about you” those were definitely not the words I wanted to say but doesn’t mean my answer wasn’t honest. You smile shyly away and I did the same… strange isn’t?
You had a fair amount of fluff in this piece!
Savouring every bit of it!
I take my hands out of you eyes so you would see what’s in front, you stayed there looking at the big sing “Thanks for the wonderful time I spend with you” there some flowers at the side and a I draw a lot of turtles.
Romantic Ai!
it's just... awwwwww... the turtle drawings really got me!
“Ok I’ll say it…” I took a deep breath and you look at me strange “I really want to say it. Ok here I go”
"ERI LET'S GO DO KINKY THINGS!"Ai's mini-rant-speech leading up to her I-love-you was d'awwwww
“What I needed was just be in front of you to say that it. To say… I love you”
And the kiss too! Yeeeee! Happy AiEri ending... nice, sweet and oh so fluffy, just what I needed! And the reread yielded the same results: doki doki
AnytimeOpening the one-shot with Ai getting frustrated over not being able to beat a boss battle… you sure know how to capture my attention
Sounds like the girls are in character here... I hope. ^__^ It would be nice to read a story from you that involved Ai and Eri as a part of Morning Musume... as much as I love reading about them in alternate universes, there's something about the the Momusu/idol context that I enjoy too much.
Also - you have to let me know what AiEri interview anecdote you based this on - I have no idea!
"You´re home?" a really soft reply was made "I´ll be right there"
Wow, Ai's so quick to jump to the rescue! ... well, we've all seen and heard Eri crying before - it's heartbreaking. It would be hard to sit at home trying to finish off a boss when you've heard such precious tears falling.
Leader is so caring, isn't she.
reminds me of the other bits and pieces that we've heard, like Ai crying together with Jun Jun. The image I had here of Ai holding and caressing Eri was just lovely...
"It´s just..." Ai stop a little trying to say something that didn´t made her look like an idiot "well, you... you were crying and I..." Eri let out a sof giggle
Lol... cuuuute.
"You´re cute" Eri blurt out.
Took the words right out of my mouth xD
Funny how Ai's crying lightens the mood and switches the attention/concern from Eri to Leader herself.
"No I´m not" Ai protest making Eri laugh.
"Yes you are"
Hahahaa... I was expecting the whole, 'No, you're cute!', 'No, YOU ARE!' argument, similar to the 'You're weird!' one they had on Futarigoto
"You mean..." Ai look away, stealing little galnces at Eri "I wasn´t your last option"
...
"No, you were the only one I thought of" Eri give her a full bright smile and a little embarress for saying that.
I just adore this... the way Ai was 'stealing' little glances at Eri.. the truth that Ai was the first (and only) one Eri thought of... (I'm wondering if Eri had a fight with Sayu AND Gaki-san...
).
It wasn't necessary that you revealed to us why Eri was in such a state to begin with... but I would've liked to know anyway!
"You mean, you actually left everything to come by my side" Eri said playfully "even gaming" with a cute voice as she rested her head on Ai´s shoulder.
Sacrifices for cute people are totally worth it! And when that cute person ends up resting her head on your shoulder...
I'm sure Ai wouldn't have minded to have sacrificed a lot more!
"See, I knew it was a good idea. Now I know you´d leave everything for me when I need you" Eri wasn´t sure if she was all fun or not, but her big smile told her she might mean something else. Ai lain closer to Eri, smeling the fresh scent of Eri´s hair.
"Anytime" said in no more that a little whisper but with a big meaning.
Fantastic way to end it. They held hands and add all the mushy talk and the whispery (and flirtatious, has to be!) 'Anytime' from Ai... *sigh*
You know right here that AiEri is well on their way to becoming a couple.
I loved both one-shots, Steph. Thanks for writing them and sharing!
You really have sparked the AiEri love in me, there's no doubt about that...
Sorry it took me a while to get this comment out.
THANK YOU AGAIN FOR ALL THE FANGIRLING and please
update soon!!!!