I should be working on Love Is Timeless BUT OH WELL. I feel the need to write something. This is just going to be where I place random one shots, parodies and other nonsense.
DEATH OF H!P: Tsunku vs Wota
Wota: WTF Aika won the auditions!?
Wota #1902: LET'S KILL TSUNKU
Wota: YES LET'S
***
Tsunku: I haet auditions. It's the same every time. Oh well, Imma goning to start writing Momusu's 32nd single.
Wota: *burst through the door* HOLD IT RIGHT THERE
Tsunku: What the--
Wota: *kills*
Tsunku: *dies*
Wota: VANISH NO JUTSU *dissapear*
***
Yuko: *drinking beer* I love Fridays~
Yuko's cellphone: *rings*
Yuko: *answers* Hello, I'm 33, sexy, and looking for a nice person. Unless you're Nacchi.
UFA: Yuko, Tsunku's dead. You're in charge of H!P now.
Yuko: Thursday night at Shibuya Love Hotel? Single bed? Sure, I'll be there. Wait. You're not Nacchi, are you?
UFA: Um..
UFA: No. I'm not. Yuko, you need to start writing Morning Musume's 32nd single, C-ute's 1st offical single, and Morning Musume's 10th anniversary single.
Yuko: *drunk* You seem nice. Let's make babies.
UFA: Get some sleep, Yuko.
Yuko: Can I sleep with you?
UFA: What
***
H!P: Eh? Obachan is in charge now?
Yuko: Hello, my name is Nakazawa Yuko and I have a raging addiction to pornography-- wait. I MEAN. I AM YOUR NEW LEADER AND RULER! WE SHALL START BY OVERTHROWING SINGLE CITIES, THEN COUNTRIES, AND EVENTUALLY: THE WORLD! *evil laugh*
Koharu: BUT THEN I'LL SAVE EVERYONE! BECAUSE.. I.. AM.. MIRACLE-CHAN! *cue nude transformation sequence*
Sayumi: But I thought you were Batman.
Koharu: *still the same*
Yuko: What's the difference?
Koharu: I HAVE ACTIVATED MY MIRACLE-POWER! YOU ARE NO MATCH FOR ME!
Yuko: OBACHAN KICK! *kicks Koharu*
Koharu: WHAAAAAAAAAA! *runs away crying*
Miki: So much for Miracle-power. Aya, can I grope you?
Aya: SURE YOU CAN <3
Yossie: Wait. Is this a HelloPro meating, of an evil dictatorship conference?
Eri: It wasn't an alien convention?
Yossie: I dunno
***
Nacchi: Yuko. You need to shape up. Tsunku-san wants H!P to stay together, right? You'll just make it fall apart. Oh, and PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON WOULD YOU?
Yuko: *in bra and panties* So my huge bust doesn't mesmorize you?
Nacchi: NO >_>.
Yuko: Too bad eh.
Yuko: *dies*
Nacchi: WHAT THE HELL
Koharu: Whoops
Nacchi: YOU DAMN--
Maimai: Koharu-senpai, I think they were just about to.. um.. you know..
Koharu: Eh? What do you mean?
Maimai: Well, when two people love eachother very much--
Nacchi: WTF. Are you really ten?
Maimai: In cat years nya.
***
H!P: *at Yuko's funeral*
Yossie: She was a good evil dictator. Too bad we couldn't have overtaken Japan though, eh, Reina?
Reina: Yeah... Anyway, who'll be the leader of H!P now?
Atsuko: Me, right? Cause I'm only one year younger than Yuko.
Ayaka: Really? Yuko seems younger than you..
Atsuko: GEE THANKS AYAKA.
Ayaka: No porblem.
UFA: ATTNETION. THE NEW LEADER OF HELLO! PROJECT IS.. HAGIWARA MAI!
Everyone: WHAT
Maimai: Does this mean that I'll die, too?
Airi: What are the chances of that happening?
***
Maimai: Morning Musume-senpai, the title of your 32nd single is.. Usagi to Hana
MM: What
Maimai: The lyrics go like this..
Maimai: The rabbits go hop hop hop
Amongst the flowers
The rabbits go hop hop hop
Amongst the flowers
The flowers are
Pink, white, and red
The flowers are
Pink, white and read
There are many flowers
And not as many rabbits
There are many flowes
And not as many rabbits
Hop hop hop
Amongst the flowers
Sayumi: Waaaaaa~ Kawaii~~~
Yossie: I'm too old for this.
Miki: I wanna be a soloist again.
Ai: GRADUATION PLZ.
Risa: I wish I could write my own songs..
Aika: I'm scared..
Eri: My sanity. My precious sanity. I can feel it. It's slipping away.
Reina: Wow. I feel stupid.
Maimai: Koharu-senpai, the title of your 3rd single is.. Suki yo FOREVER
Koharu: Oooh, a love song!
Maimai: The lyrics go like this..
Maimai: *CENSORED*
Sayumi: Waaaaa~ Kawa-- wait no.
Yossie: WTF
Miki: Now THIS is more LIKE IT
Ai: GRADUATION PLZ.
Risa: Hmph. I want to write my OWN songs.
Aika: I want to graduate now ._.
Eri: FASTEST. GRADUATION. EVER.
Reina: Even Fukuda-senpai lasted longer..
Koharu: Well. So much for being targeted towards kids. I might as well become the second Goto Maki.
END
I dunno. I was on a high. UM. I BLAME THE SUGAR.