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Chapter 1 - Minami
Chapter 1, Part 1 - Below
Chapter 1, Part 2 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32334.msg1018239#msg1018239)
Chapter 1, Part 3 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32334.msg1021147#msg1021147)
Chapter 1, Part 4 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32334.msg1024969#msg1024969)
Chapter 1, Part 5 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32334.msg1032769#msg1032769) (Chapter End)
Chapter 2 - Atsuko
Chapter 2, Part 1 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32334.msg1037537#msg1037537)
Chapter 2, Part 2 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32334.msg1041506#msg1041506)
Chapter 2, Part 3 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32334.msg1049361#msg1049361)
Chapter 2, Part 4 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32334.msg1056445#msg1056445) (Chapter End)
Chapter 3
Chapter 3, Part 1 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32334.msg1064651#msg1064651)
Chapter 3, Part 2 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32334.msg1079072#msg1079072)
Chapter 3, Part 3 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32334.msg1087234#msg1087234) (Chapter End)
Chapter 3.5
Interlude (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32334.msg1178441#msg1178441)
Chapter 4
Chapter 4, Part 1 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32334.msg1227806#msg1227806)
Chapter 4, Part 2 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32334.msg1350723#msg1350723)
Today’s special is a serving of Atsumina with a hint of Kojiyuu.
Author’s Note: In order for you, the dear reader, to have a better [less confusing] reading experience:
1- Important note:
-This work does allude to some factual events (i.e. activities mentioned in blogs, subunit establishments, concerts, etc.) and established songs. Published songs may be used at times in the story that are set before the real-life release of the song. That being said: For fiction’s sake, within the story most of these alluded to events have been altered (people added or deleted, or the outcome has been changed, etc.) and also may appear out of the order in which they occurred in real-life. This was done to make the story [flow] better.
2- Story format:
-The first two chapters of this story correlate with each other. They both start at a generic beginning and end at roughly the same time. They also share some scenes. Therefore, in reading Chapter 2, some scenes will seem very familiar. However, I suggest not skipping over said scenes, as they are presented from a different POV (and you might learn something new!). Also, if a scene in Chapter 1 does not make sense or seems to have been cut short, please be patient and wait until Chapter 2. There are some scenes that start in Chapter 1 and end in Chapter 2, as well as scenes in Chapter 1 that are more understandable when reflected on with knowledge gained from the POV of Chapter 2. (Unfortunately, there were occasions when I was too lazy to write any more and the scene just kind of ends. If this happens to be one of the scenes you were hoping to see extended, umm… sorry!)
3- How to read this story:
Italics:
-First and foremost, italics indicate the narrative. These segments are usually bookended with five underscore marks, like so:
_ _ _ _ _
Sometimes time will flow in the narrative, and sometimes it doesn’t. Generally, if the narrative says something like, “Then, nearly a year later,” followed directly by a scene, it’s now a year later in the story. If the narrative states, “Throughout the next few years,” then the scenes that follow all occur in those few years, not after those few years. It’ll likely make more sense as you read.
_ _ _ _ _
-Scenes in italics that are preceded by ///// are either a dream or flashback sequence (easily distinguishable when reading), and their endings are marked in a similar fashion. Thoughts in such scenes are placed between pairs of slash marks.
/////
Dream/flashback sequence; “Dialogue.”
//Thoughts in dream/flashback sequence//
/////
-When used within a present-set scene, italics indicate thoughts.
Underscore marks: Used to separate scenes.
_ _ _ _ _ : As stated above, five such marks signify the beginning and end of the narrative.
_ _ _ : Three marks separate the unrelated scenes between narratives.
_ : One mark separates related scenes that occur consecutively. Most commonly used with a change of setting or the slight passing of time.
A note on RPF: When I write for these characters, I don't imagine the real people in these situations. Instead, I view them as fictional characters, and those characters are based on the personas that the members portray as idols. In other words, I don't ship the real people themselves and I'm happy for them to go about their lives, get married, have families, etc.
(Yeesh. Long author’s note is looooooong.)
If a picture is worth one thousand words, then imagine the scenes are photos, snapshots, or even …
How did things come to be this way?
Minami stared with teary eyes at the figure sleeping peacefully before her. Hesitantly, she reached out and took one of the girl’s hands, pressing a soft kiss to its palm before holding it against her cheek.
“I’m sorry. I never meant for this to happen. Thankfully you’ll be okay; all you need is some rest.” Setting the hand she held back to the sleeping girl’s side, Minami used her free hand to brush aside the girl’s bangs. “You’re most beautiful when you’re sleeping, Atsuko,” she whispered, not wanting to wake the resting figure. “I’ve always believed that.”
Hearing the door open behind her, Minami turned to face the newcomers with a guilty conscience. Slipping her hand from Atsuko’s she stood before her fellow no3b members with weary eyes, having fought back tears for the past half an hour. She spoke hesitantly in a whisper, not daring to meet their eyes.
“Haruna, Mii-chan, I-”
-SLAP-
Portraits
An AKB48 Fan Fiction
Chapter 1, Part 1
Though all characters contained herein are based on actual persons, this story is purely fictional, and the persons on whom it is based are to be considered fictional characters.
Monetary profit has been neither sought nor gained with the writing of this story.
At the age of thirteen, Takahashi Minami had no clue about what love really was. (And, nearly a decade later, those closest to her would testify that she was still ignorant.)
The person she [later] believed to be her first crush had been her hometown best friend, a girl that remained dear to her still. They were always together; whether it was games, studying, or shopping, Minami had wanted to spend as much time as possible with the girl. She enjoyed the time they spent together; she was happy just to see her friend happy.
(Wasn’t that a prerequisite to love, wanting to spend as much time as possible with that person?)
When Minami moved away the passion that she was vaguely aware of feeling toward her friend quickly faded. (Perhaps it wasn’t love after all?) They still kept in contact, and the girl remained as one of Minami’s most important people; she was her best friend outside of AKB48. She loved her friend dearly and it never occurred to her until later on that what she’d felt in their days together could have been romantic love. For Minami at the time, it was the love of a best-friendship, and friendship was something that she would never turn away.
When Minami was chosen as one of the founding members of Akihabara 48, friendship was something that came to her easily. She quickly grew close to the other members, though there was one in particular with whom she was especially close.
_ _ _ _ _
Minami smiled at her good friend beside her, the two having just left one of their favorite restaurants. The other girl linked her arm in Minami’s, leading her on the start of another favorite activity: shopping. (Though, admittedly, it was more one of the other girl’s favorite activities, as Minami was usually made a bag carrier.)
Takahashi Minami and Itano Tomomi; they were inseparable. Tomomi was Minami’s first good friend in the group and the two quickly became close. They were an unusual pairing, to be sure. Tomochin was quickly growing into a fashion queen, while Minami was, by all accounts, a fashion failure. Their tastes in music, movies, and manga were entirely different. Despite this, though, they were always together.
It didn’t take long for the teasing to start. The others in the group would often joke that Minami was the “boy” and Tomochin was the “girl” in a forbidden relationship. The two would laugh along, seemingly unaffected by the others’ teasing. Minami acknowledged the fact that she loved her friend dearly. She couldn’t deny the fact that some of the ways she acted around Tomochin were similar to the way a boyfriend would act. If Minami were not so slow when it came to such matters, she would probably have begun to notice the growing romantic tension between her and her best friend. If she were not so dense, she would probably have noticed that how she felt towards Tomochin was similar to how she had felt towards her hometown friend but at a more mature level.
If she hadn’t been so ignorant, her life in AKB48 would have been dramatically different.
_ _ _ _ _
Tomochin had been her first kiss (if you could call it that). It was done on the spur of the moment, quite possibly on accident. (Or so Minami had come to believe, so she didn’t consider it a kiss.) It was a quick peck that had lasted no more than a second. It had been long enough, however, for Minami to feel a strange sensation within her.
However, before Minami had a chance to properly reflect on her growing feelings, the duo suddenly became a trio and the teasing stopped almost immediately. On the very day that Minami decided to consult Tomochin about her confused emotions, her agenda was expunged at the sound of a mere question, just three simple words. About a year after AKB48 began, Minami became friends with the girl that would eventually become another of her best friends in the group. (And, not long after, this girl would naturally grow close to Tomochin as well.)
_ _ _ _ _
Dance practice had ended for the day, and Minami sat down with a sigh on a bench opposite the mirrored wall of the studio. She had left her home in a rush that morning and in doing so had accidently grabbed the wrong athletic bag, a mistake she hadn’t noticed until it was too late. On the bench beside her sat her brother’s red soccer equipment bag and Minami dared not open it in fear of the stench it held.
Why did this have to happen today, of all days?
Minami was torn from her thoughts when a bottle of water and a small towel were thrust before her then, and she looked up to see a familiar girl about her age offering her the much needed items.
“Th-thank you,” she said, taking the offered items with a nervous, grateful smile. It was a simple, polite response. The whole exchange could have ended then. Yet with the next three words, Minami’s life would drastically change.
“You’re Takahashi, right?” the girl asked with a tilt of her head and a radiant smile gracing her lips.
Minami involuntarily drew in a breath. She knew this smile; she was enraptured by it. It was the same smile that she had secretly been watching ever since the group began. She had first seen it from across the building; an expansive dance floor separating the two, the other girl chatting happily with some of the other members, a small blue flower tucked behind her ear. Minutes later Minami had been caught staring into space by Tomochin, the other girl with her brow furrowed questioningly.
Remembering how she’d felt in that moment, Minami believed that the girl standing before her now held great potential because of her blessing of a smile. Yet, it was a smile that had never chosen her as its target, and she’d remained too afraid to talk to its owner, until now.
“Yes. Takahashi Minami,” Minami answered, taking a sip of water after wiping her face. “You’re… Maeda, correct?”
The girl gave a small laugh. “Yes; Maeda Atsuko.”
Minami gave a slight bow and then took another sip of water. “Thank you, Maeda-san.”
Atsuko smiled again. “Please, call me Acchan.”
She really does have a great smile. “Then please call me Minami, Acchan. But, how did you know I needed a towel?”
Taking the opportunity to sit beside Minami, Atsuko pointed to the bag at Minami’s other side. “Though the red is more suited to your outward personality, you normally have a pink bag, right?”
“Eh? You noticed such a thing?”
A small blush rose to Atsuko’s cheeks. “I think your pink bag is cute.”
“Is that so...”
“The way you’ve been avoiding that bag all day, I assumed it’s not yours and you brought it by mistake,” Atsuko said, receiving a nod from Minami in confirmation. “I thought that might be the case and I wanted to help you out, so I brought you some water and a towel.”
“That’s amazing! It’s like you’re Conan!” Minami’s outburst brought another radiant smile to Atsuko’s lips. “Thanks, Acchan,” Minami said, doing her best to return the smile in kind.
_ _ _ _ _
No longer alone, the atmosphere around Minami and Tomochin seemed to fade. While the friendship between the two remained strong, Minami’s friendship with Acchan would grow stronger.
_ _ _ _ _
“Minami?”
“Hmm?”
“You want to go to a movie later, after rehearsal?”
“Yeah, sure.”
Minami looked to her left to find a happily smiling Atsuko standing beside her. This would be the third movie in a month, the two of them spending large amounts of time together and quickly growing closer as friends. Both could sense that AKB’s popularity was growing exponentially, and there was an unspoken agreement between them to spend as much time together as possible.
Returning Atsuko’s smile, Minami looked down at her watch and frowned.
Where’s the instructor? She’s ten minutes late already.
Mumbling incoherently to herself, Minami yelped as a finger poked her in the side.
“Whatcha grumbling about?” Atsuko asked innocently with a tilt of her head.
“The instructor,” Minami stated flatly. “She’s late.” The two looked around the large room at the dozens of girls that stood around chatting, none seemingly having noticed that their dance lesson should have started nearly fifteen minutes ago. “We’re wasting good time sitting here doing nothing.”
“So, why don’t you do something about it?”
“Huh?” Minami glanced up at Atsuko, staring at her as if she’d suddenly grown a second head. Atsuko laughed at the typical overreaction.
“I said, why don’t you do something about it?”
Minami nodded her head firmly. “You’re right; I should,” she said, trotting to the front of the dance hall. “Everyone!” she shouted. “Line up in formation; we’re going to go ahead and start.”
A few of the members did as they were asked, including Atsuko, who’s eyes Minami sought as most of the members seemed to have ignored her. Atsuko gave her a reassuring nod and Minami spoke up again. “Alright, everybody, right now I’m in charge, so let’s get started!”
Despite a resounding chorus of “ehs” and “huhs” the other members didn’t question the declaration and did as instructed. Minami looked over the crowd of energetic girls and received an approving nod from some of the other members and a proud smile from Tomochin. The practice began swiftly and was well underway when the instructor showed up nearly an hour later.
After the rehearsal Minami quickly returned to Atsuko’s side. “How’d I do?”
Atsuko smiled. “They listened, didn’t they?”
“Hey, Takahashi!” Minami turned to find one of the elder members, Akimoto Sayaka, headed in her direction. Fearing retaliation, Minami stiffened as the intimidating girl grew closer. “Nice job today, Takahashi,” Sayaka stated, giving Minami a light jab before resting a strong hand on her shoulder. “I was wondering if I should do something, but I didn’t have the mettle to get up there and do what you did. I didn’t want the other members to be even more afraid of me.” Sayaka laughed lightly, and Minami finally relaxed enough to laugh with her.
“Th-thanks.”
“No, thank you. You have the makings of a good leader; I hope to match up with you someday.” Sayaka smiled again, nodded to Atsuko, and withdrew as quickly as she’d come.
“She’s right,” Atsuko stated, earning Minami’s attention. “I’ve always felt that you’d be a good leader. Like… whenever I’m in trouble, I know I can come to you for help. And I know that you only want what’s best for AKB. We need a captain like you.”
Minami ducked her head to hide her blush. “Aww, c’mon, Acchan, you’re embarrassing me.”
“But it’s true.”
“Well then, I’m glad I could impress you,” Minami admitted, sticking out her chest proudly.
Tomochin ran up to them then, a broad smile on her face. “Good job, Takamina,” she congratulated with a slight jab to Minami’s shoulder. “Just when I was wondering who was going to organize things, you stepped up to the task. I always knew you had it in you.”
“Eh?” Minami squeaked in disbelief. “You too, Tomochin? Why do you all have so much faith in me? I fail at everything, remember?”
Tomochin and Atsuko looked at one another and gave only small shrugs in reply.
“We’re your best friends, Takamina, of course we’d see your potential,” Tomochin offered as an explanation.
“We’re going to the movies, Tomochin, would you like to join us?” Atsuko asked, grabbing Minami’s hand and easily changing the subject.
“Sure.” With a smile Tomochin reached out and grabbed Minami’s other hand. Giggling, the two stepped to either side of the still bewildered Minami and lead her to gather her belongings. Smiling, the trio left on their way to the movies, hand in hand in hand.
_ _ _
Minami picked her phone up with a sigh. Today was a day off, and though she hated to admit it, she was bored. The morning had been spent reading the latest chapters of her favorite manga, an activity which had ended all too soon. Now it was just after noon and her stomach was protesting. Lunch was necessary. Hoping to get out of the house and have some fun, Minami typed out a simple mail.
[It’s probably meaningless to ask you this, but would you like to get a bite to eat? Let’s meet for lunch.]
Seconds later she received a reply.
[I’m going to ignore that not-so-subtle insult. Of course I’ll meet you for lunch.]
Smiling, Minami eagerly made her way off the couch and out the door. It was time for another lunch date with Atsuko.
_ _ _ _ _
And then, while the dynamics of Minami’s various friendly relationships continued to morph, she met her…
_ _ _ _ _
Minami shifted in her seat as the group’s bus rolled over another bump, though she tried not to move too much. Glancing at the sleeping girl beside her, she thought about the day’s events. It had been a long day of crowds and performances and they were all tired. Everyone had swiftly piled onto the bus, hoping to quickly return to the hotel and their warm beds. No one took the time to choose their seats; they were all too tired to care.
That was how Minami found herself with a sleeping beauty using her shoulder as a pillow.
This is… Kojima, Minami thought, remembering the girl’s name from her everyday observations. After landing in her unofficial leadership position that day, Minami had felt it to be her responsibility to learn the names and faces of all of AKB48’s members, shold something like that ever happen again. Kojima Haruna was no exception to that self-instigated rule. As Minami sat staring at the girl beside her, she noticed Haruna’s face scrunch into a small pout in her sleep.
Cute, thought Minami and a small smile breached her lips. The bus rolled over another larger bump, and this time Kojima’s head slipped from Minami’s shoulder. Reacting quickly to catch her from falling, Minami felt her cheeks grow warm when she noticed that Haruna had indeed awoken.
“S-sorry,” Minami whispered, releasing her hold on Haruna’s shoulders and quickly averting her eyes.
“For what? I should be the one apologizing,” Haruna said sleepily with a confused tilt of her head.
“Eh?”
“I slept on your shoulder without asking. I’m sorry.”
“No-no! I mean, I don’t mind!” Minami stammered, raising her voice just a bit but not enough to wake those around them.
Haruna smiled at Minami’s awkward, wide-eyed reaction. “Thank you,” she said, her smile growing wider.
“You’re welcome. Anytime,” Minami recovered.
“Kojima Haruna,” Haruna said with a simple nod.
“Takahashi Minami. It’s nice to finally speak with you.”
_ _ _ _ _
…and grew to know her…
_ _ _ _ _
Minami sat at attention and watched the man across from her with nervous eyes.
Akimoto Yasushi was a brilliant mind in the idol industry with the keen ability to cipher out individuals with strong potential. Before him now sat one such individual, one of his hand-picked prodigies.
“AKB48 is very successful; thank you very much for your hard work, sir,” Minami said with a polite bow.
Akimoto returned the gesture with a slight nod and a kind smile. “It is I that should thank you.” Minami looked up at him in confusion and a gentle laugh escaped his lips at her expression. “Don’t think I haven’t noticed how you hold the group together. You’ve placed yourself in a leadership position without any incentive, and you’re doing a splendid job.”
“Th-thank you, sir!” Minami stuttered, nearly falling out of her chair as she gave a slight bow.
The door clicked open then and Minami turned to see Minegishi Minami step into Akimoto’s office.
“Sorry for the intrusion,” Miichan said with a polite bow.
“Come in and have a seat, Minegishi-san. We’re still waiting on one more.”
The two Minamis exchanged nervous glances as Mii-chan sat down next to Minami. The two, and apparently a third member, had been summoned to Akimoto’s office for yet unknown reasons.
No sooner had Miichan sat down than the door opened again and an angelic, “Sorry for the intrusion,” filtered into the room. Minami’s eyes widened at the realization of the identity of the voice’s owner.
It’s her.
“Kojima-san, thank you for joining us,” Akimoto greeted as he gestured to the empty seat at Minami’s other side. “Now that we’re all present, I’m sure you’d like to know why I’ve called you here today.”
“You betcha!” Miichan exclaimed, clasping a hand over her mouth at the realization of her outburst. Minami and Haruna stared at the youngest member in disbelief. “I mean, yes, sir, we are very curious, and would you please enlighten us as to the reason you’ve summoned us?”
“With pleasure,” Akimoto replied, not bothering to hide his amusement at Miichan’s enthusiasm. “The three of you have been chosen to form a new subunit within AKB48.” He paused a moment to allow the girls the opportunity to process what he’d said. As the reactions became evident on their faces, he continued. “That being said, we’ve arranged for the three of you to star in a late-night drama to promote the new unit. You’ll be seeing a lot of one another; I trust you’ll get along well together.”
_ _ _ _ _
…and came to like her.
She was someone with whom Minami spent hours working. Neither noticed it at first, but there was an unaddressed tension between the two, the kind of chemistry that flowed between two compatible persons. The atmosphere that Minami shared with this girl was similar to the atmosphere that she used to share with Tomochin, a fact which, surprisingly, Minami had not failed to notice.
_ _ _ _ _
“H-hanako-san,” Minami squealed, jumping from her seat as she heard the door to the drama set’s break room open behind her.
“Haruna, actually,” a gentle voice corrected her, and Minami turned to find Haruna dressed as Riku. A teasing smile quickly graced the older girl’s lips. “Somebody must be nervous about her upcoming kiss scene.” It was a guess, one that was confirmed by a wincing Minami.
“Shut up. What would you know?” Minami was obviously uncomfortable discussing the subject but still Haruna’s teasing continued.
“First kiss?” she ventured as she sat down, another guess confirmed with a flinch. “I see. Well, I don’t think it’s anything to fret over. Let me guess: you wanted your first kiss to be with someone special.”
There’s more to it than that. Minami sat down across from Haruna with a huff. “But… this is different. I may be dressed as a guy, but when all is said and done, I’ll be kissing another girl.”
“Technically, she’s going to be the one kissing you.”
Minami looked over at Haruna’s coy smile and sighed. “Please, enough with the teasing,” she huffed. “I’m genuinely worried about things.”
“What kinds of things?”
Hesitantly, Minami succumbed and whispered her fear. “What if… what if I like it?”
There was a brief pause before Haruna laughed melodically, earning a scowl from Minami. “That’s what this is about? You’re worried about whether or not you’ll like kissing another girl?”
“Well, yes. Haven’t you ever thought about that kind of thing?”
“Not really,” Haruna replied coolly. “I can’t say that I’ve ever found myself in a situation that required such ponderings. I don’t think it’d bother me, though. Is it really something so important that it has you this nervous?”
Minami stood with a start, taking the opportunity to look down on the seated Haruna. “Look… until you’ve kissed another girl, you’ve no right to tease me.”
Haruna looked up at Minami with an unreadable expression. “You’re right,” she stated with a shrug, slowly standing up after a momentary staring contest. Seconds later she gracefully guided Minami’s chin upward with a slender finger and kissed her. Breaking apart, she glanced down to meet Minami’s eyes. “Now I have every right to tease you.”
Despite her words there was no mirth in Haruna’s voice, and as Minami looked up at Haruna she found the teasing smile had disappeared. Instead, she found another emotion, one that matched what she was currently feeling. Minami hesitantly reached a hand out to grasp Haruna’s collar, and as the two drew together in another kiss Minami’s worries were confirmed.
Indeed, she'd have enjoyed the kiss with Hanako, acting or not. Now her first ‘real’ kiss had indeed been with someone she liked. And though it was a kiss between girls it was no act. The feelings involved were genuine and mutual. Knowing what a true, sincere kiss felt like, Minami knew that she’d be able to shoot the scene with no trouble.
As the two parted from their second kiss, both slightly out of breath, Haruna sent Minami a smile which was returned in kind. No words were needed; a new understanding had been reached.
They had both felt something between them. But what, exactly, had it been?
_ _ _ _ _ _
From that point on they kept what had happened between them a secret while their friendship grew stronger. After that first incident they had decided to attempt a secret relationship. They spent some time together, going to the movies and out to eat. However, they made sure not to spend too much time together, a settlement that resulted in them spending more time with others than with each other. This was done not only to avoid raising suspicions, but also because each had her own good friends within the group and wanted to spend time with them as well. Neither realized the impact that such a decision would have on their future relationships.
_ _ _ _ _
Haruna and Minami were not the only members of no3b. Minami also grew close with the girl that shared her name, Minegishi Minami. The two were sometimes inseparable, spending the night at each other’s house, going shopping together, and visiting nail salons together, among other activities. Minami found it very easy to talk with Miichan, a girl a bit younger and ten times more energetic than she.
“Hey, Mine-chan…”
“What is it?” Miichan asked, glancing out from behind the manga she stood reading in the bookstore.
“I need a favor,” Minami asked sheepishly, pointing to the top row of manga wherein sat the book she sought.
Understanding Minami’s unspoken desire, Miichan assumed a mock aura of, in her own later words, an ikemen, and swiftly acquired the book in question. Minami’s chivalrous manners well-known, Miichan couldn’t help but to find humor in the situation.
Shopping was not the only pastime the two Minamis enjoyed together. Their one true weakness (as was most of the members’) was food. The two often went out to lunch or dinner together, where they would talk comfortably with each other for hours. Minami quickly discovered that while Miichan could be trusted with any information, she was also one of AKB’s resident gossips. She knew everything, and were it not for their almost weekly outings together, Minami would have been completely out of the loop on the happenings within the group that was growing more successful by the day.
Indeed, Miichan and Haruna were very important to Minami. The three shared a bond which grew stronger with each performance. However, despite her secret relationship with Haruna, there was another member of AKB that occupied a large percentage of Minami’s heart.
_ _ _
“I’m home!” Minami called out upon entering her family’s house. “Mom, I’ve brought a friend home! She’s going to spend the night!” Behind her, Atsuko hesitantly stepped into the Takahashi home. Seconds later Minami’s mother appeared from around the corner, a warm smile gracing her lips.
“Oh, who have we here?” she asked curiously. “I was expecting it to be Minegishi. I swear, that Minegishi might as well live here with all the times she spends the night.” Touching a finger to her chin, Mrs. Takahashi struck a thoughtful pose. “That Kojima that spent the night once was nice. Bring her home again, Minami.”
“Mama, this is Acchan,” Minami offered, rolling her eyes at her mother’s comment. A slight blush rose to her cheeks but went unnoticed by the others.
“Maeda Atsuko,” Atsuko stated as she stepped forward to give a polite bow.
“Oh, so you’re the Acchan I’ve heard so much about; it’s nice to finally meet you.”
“Mama!”
Minami blushed a bright red, this time the involuntary reaction not going unnoticed by her mother. Her blush grew impossibly brighter as she felt Acchan turn to look at her as well. While Mrs. Takahashi stood laughing at her daughter’s discomfort the two girls quickly took their chance to escape to Minami’s room.
“It’s overwhelmingly pink!” Atsuko gasped. “But, it’s definitely you, Minami.” Atsuko had heard the stories from Miichan, but Minami could tell by Atsuko’s tone that the stories had not done her room any justice.
“Thanks,” Minami said with an impish smile. “Go ahead and look around if you want.” Seeing Atsuko accept the invitation, Minami took the other girl’s bag and sat it beside the bed. Stepping over to her dresser, she returned to Atsuko’s side a minute later with clothes in hand.
“Here, for you.”
“What are those for?” Atsuko asked, eyeing the typical-Minami black “One Piece” t-shirt.
Minami raised an arm behind her head sheepishly. “Well, we came here straight from practice, so I figured you might need something to sleep in. There’re new toothbrushes in the cabinet above the sink,” she continued as Atsuko’s lips formed a small ‘o’.
“Thanks,” Atsuko replied, accepting the generous offer.
“No problem. Go ahead and change. When you come back you can tell me more about your crush.” Minami accompanied her last word with a teasing wink, and she couldn’t help but to smile at the honest blush that adorned Atsuko’s cheeks soon after. As Atsuko left the room, Minami shook her head to rid herself of the peculiar, foreign feeling that overtook her when she mentioned Atsuko’s love interest. As the topic reminded her of her own situation, she fished her phone from her pocket and sent a quick ‘goodnight’ mail to a certain other no3b member, receiving a similar greeting in a quick reply seconds later.
_ _ _
Minami and Haruna stood underneath a preparation tent, talking quietly with each other as other members filed past. There were small touches here and there, but nothing that would invoke questioning stares from the others. A handshake event had just ended and the two were taking advantage of the rare opportunity to speak together without interruption. Moments later, however, a panicked Miichan ran up to the two, out of breath.
“Has either… of you… seen Acchan?” she asked, glancing worriedly between her fellow no3b members.
“No,” Haruna replied with a small pout and a shake of her head.
Sensing the urgency behind Miichan’s question, Minami’s demeanor changed as she stood up straighter to look the younger girl in the eyes. “Miichan, has something happened to Acchan?”
Miichan nodded quickly. “She was next to me for the handshake event. Towards the end she just took off running. Nobody knows why she did or where she went, but… she was definitely crying.”
Minami quickly turned to Haruna, who gave her an understanding nod. “Alright, Miichan, we’ll help you look for her,” Haruna offered.
They found her not long after, crying in the corner of the technical equipment room. Minami paused for a moment, studying her friend’s trembling figure from a few yards away. Shaking her head with a sigh, she walked up and squatted beside the crying girl, draping her arm on Atsuko’s shoulders comfortingly.
I’m right here beside you, Atsuko.
She said nothing; she knew not what was wrong nor what to say. Her heart ached at the sight of her friend weeping so openly but she could only hope that her presence was enough.
Atsuko, you once said that you believe me to be someone you could rely on when in trouble. Please, rely on me now.
Almost as if she’d heard Minami’s unspoken hopes, Atsuko turned and wrapped her arms around Minami’s neck, her tears unending. Minami embraced the distraught girl tightly about her waist, almost toppling over in the process. Regaining her balance, she rubbed Atsuko’s back soothingly, but still she did not utter a word.
With her back to the door, Minami could not see Haruna’s smile. It was not a grim smirk of jealousy or anger, as would be expected from the girl with whom she shared a secret relationship. Rather, Haruna’s smile was one of pride, almost (oddly) maternal, and there was a great understanding behind it. Turning from the scene, Haruna shut the door and asked the other members and staff to let the two inside be alone for a while.
End Chapter 1, Part 1
Phew. I’m such an introvert it’s not funny. My nerves have been racing since I posted. This is probably a good time to state that I’m also rather awkward when it comes to forums and online communication.
I’m not great with writing fantasy, so I was aiming for a more realistic feel to the story. (Well, about as realistic as a seemingly battalion's worth of lesbian idols can be, anyhow.) I’m relatively new to the AKB48 fandom (I’ve maybe a whole 10 months under my belt), so please forgive me if you think I’ve done them any injustice.
I write rather slowly so I can’t guarantee when updates will be made. I do have the first two chapters finished, but if I burn through my supply too quickly there’s bound to be down time. I also have three other stories that I should be working on so my writing time must be shared evenly.
My greatest hope is that my humble story has inspired all of you to keep writing.
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First Comment! xD Hmm, The Story was really AMAZING! I Love it... Even if it's some kinda like... Triangle Love? First, She Likes Tomochin, Then Acchan, Third NyanNyan...
(I wonder where's Yuko) Thanks for the update, anyway! I want the next chapter! Update soon!
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It's like reading how it really happened, hehe. This is awesome, keep it going! ;)
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This story is really awesome^^
and takamina relationship with tomochin acchan and even haruna it's interesting.
i'm waiting for your next update.....
Thank you:)
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yeah this story could be happen.. but my kojiyuu T_T
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So this is like...a square love? How could Minami have feelings for so many girls :lol:? But I like it, keep on updating 8)
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Thank you, everyone, for reading my story. I'm glad that so many of you have enjoyed it. (Awesome, amazing; I like these adjectives. Please, keep 'em coming!)
@Nakamii: Woot! First comment! +50 points to you! No worries, Yuko will appear.
@sakura_drop_: That's exactly the effect that I was going for; thanks for realizing that.
@Haruko: Don't worry; I wasn't lying in my first post.
@chuppachup, Tanchan, Nakamii: Love polygons? Hmmm... not quite. How should I put it... the only one that she's acknowledged her feelings for thus far is Haruna. While she had felt something more with Tomochin, Atsuko entered the picture before Minami had a chance to act on them and said feelings died out. As for Atsuko, in Minami's eyes she's still only a good friend, but...
To all those thinking, "This is Atsumina?" Be patient; the story and characters need time to grow. Besides, I'm sure some of you have enjoyed the bits of TakaTomo and TakaHaru.
As I post more of the story, especially Chapter 2, I believe a lot of questions will be answered. If Chapter 1 is about Minami, then Chapter 2 is about...
I'm surprised nobody asked about the identity of Atsuko's crush. (Was that line too subtle?) Not that I'd tell you anyway. :P
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Oh a great one! I like the fact that we can see Takamina's evolution ^^
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So... Acchan is graduating. I could sense this was coming, which was why I wanted to begin posting my story. However, it seems that I was a bit too slow.
Due to this announcement, I've decided to go ahead and post what I have already written. I feel that my story may hit a bit close to the mark, as you may discover as you read it. Please note that everything within the first two chapters was written weeks, if not at least a full month, before the news of Atsuko's graduation.
Please be patient as I upload the rest of the story. I do wish to upload it in parts still, as it is rather large.
Acchan, we will miss you.
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With her back to the door, Minami could not see Haruna’s smile. It was not a grim smirk of jealousy or anger, as would be expected from the girl with whom she shared a secret relationship. Rather, Haruna’s smile was one of pride, almost (oddly) maternal, and there was a great understanding behind it. Turning from the scene, Haruna shut the door and asked the other members and staff to let the two inside be alone for a while.
Portraits
An AKB48 Fan Fiction
Chapter 1, Part 2
_ _ _ _ _
Minami and Haruna were each other’s first ‘real’ relationship. And, consequently, they were each other’s first ex, as after only a few months of an attempt at a secret relationship they realized that the strong feelings they felt in that first moment were not strong enough after all. Indeed, it had not been a love of the proper caliber to be considered romantic. Ultimately, it was the love of immeasurable friendship spurred on by teenage physical desire and curiosity, and their time apart told them more about their true feelings than their time together.
_ _ _ _ _ _
“We should end this.”
“I agree; this isn’t love. Well, not that kind of love, anyhow.”
“Exactly.” Minami sat beside Haruna in a small bakery, two half-eaten desserts on the table before them. “For some reason, in that moment when we k-ki-…”
Haruna giggled and rested a hand on Minami’s arm. “It’s alright; I know what you’re trying to say.”
“Ehe,” Minami laughed nervously, embarrassed by her ineptitude to speak of even the most remotely affectionate things. “Well, when we did that, I think I- we- were just caught up in the moment. Because of that we hastily made a foolish decision that we should date.”
“Again, I agree,” Haruna said, shutting her eyes as she crossed her arms and nodded vigorously in mock seriousness.
Ignorant to Haruna’s words, Minami continued rambling beside her. “I mean, it’s not like I don’t like you. I enjoyed spending all that time with you. It’s just that-”
“Minami.” Haruna said her name with such seriousness that Minami couldn’t help but to look up at the other girl. Seizing her chance, Haruna grabbed Minami’s face and forced the girl to focus on her eyes. “Minami, listen to me. I’ve been agreeing with you this whole time. You don’t have to apologize for anything.”
Minami shook her head in understanding, and Haruna released it with a pat. “Even if we’re not- you know…” Minami said, her voice trailing off at the end of her statement, earning a shake of the head from Haruna. “I want you to know that you’re still a special friend to me.”
Haruna nodded. “And you are to me. But… I think we’ve both realized these past few months that what we felt was not love. The facts are undeniable. We haven’t even done anything the least bit couple-like since that first incident. Well, except for a few flirty touches here and there. It’s been over three months and all we’ve done is hang-out like normal friends would and send a few extra mails to each other.” Haruna couldn’t help but to laugh when she saw Minami’s face glow red at the word ‘couple’, only to grow brighter as she’d continued. “We just convinced ourselves that we were in a special relationship, that’s all. In the end we’re just really good friends.” Never one to pass up the chance to tease the younger girl, with her voice just above a whisper, she continued, “Good friends that happen to have once shared a couple kisses.”
Minami nearly choked on her drink. “As long as we both feel that way, then it must be true,” she said after a moment of coughing. “I didn’t think that the ‘hardly spend time with or talk to each other outside of work’ relationship that we had could really be called love. Then again, it’s not like I’m an expert on the subject.” With a relieved sigh she bit into her remaining dessert happily.
“Besides,” Haruna said, readying a bite of cake on her fork. “I don’t think I’m the one that has stolen your heart.”
“Huh?” Minami squeaked, looking up at Haruna with a confused pout and a cream moustache.
“Nothing,” Haruna chuckled as she wiped Minami’s lip with her napkin, an act which earned her another blush from her companion.
“Kojiharu, now that we’re not… you know…” Minami began, still unable to bring herself to speak the words, “I feel that I can safely tell you that you’ve sounded surprisingly knowledgeable throughout this conversation. Ow!”
“Just because we’re back to being nothing more than friends, that doesn’t mean that you can insult me.” Haruna pouted as she retracted her hand from Minami’s head.
Rubbing her newly acquired bump, Minami bowed apologetically and turned back to her almost finished treat. The two chatted amicably for a few more minutes as they finished their desserts, each trying a bite of the others chosen snack. When the time came to leave, Haruna gently placed her hand on Minami’s arm, stopping the other girl in her tracks.
“What’s wrong?” Minami asked, her eyes filling with worry.
“Say, Takamina,” Haruna started, a small, teasing smile breaching her lips. “If this is the ‘end’, do you think maybe…?” Leaning down, Haruna finished her question as a whisper in Minami’s ear.
“EH?!” Minami exclaimed, earning glares from the bakery employees and the few other patrons present. After a moment’s contemplation, she gulped and nodded hesitantly.
Glancing around quickly to make sure that no one was watching, Haruna overlooked three familiar faces before leaning down to briefly kiss Minami. Giggling at her now frozen counterpart, Haruna left the bakery with a smile. Recovering from her stupor, the red-faced Minami left a moment later and the two went their separate ways without looking back.
_
“I’m home,” Minami announced as she set her bag down beside the door and slipped off her shoes. Hearing the soft footfalls of her mother quickly approaching Minami looked up to see a distraught look on her mother’s face.
“Mama, what’s wrong?”
“You have a visitor Minami. I’m afraid she’s rather upset about something. I sent her to wait in your room.”
“I see,” Minami replied with a puzzled frown. “Is it Kojiharu, by any chance?”
Expecting the answer to be yes, Minami was taken aback when her mother’s head shook negatively. “No, dear, it’s Maeda-san.”
“Atsuko?” Minami exclaimed, panic suddenly present in her voice. “Thanks, Mama,” she said as she rushed past her mother to her room. As stated, Atsuko sat waiting in her room, leaning against Minami’s bed as she hugged her knees.
“Acchan, what’s wrong?” Minami asked, kneeling before her obviously upset friend. She was disappointed to only receive sobs in reply. “Atsuko,” Minami whispered, resting a hand on Atsuko’s shoulder. “How can I help you if you won’t tell me what’s wrong, Acchan?” The fact that Atsuko stiffened under her touch did not go unnoticed by Minami. It was an unusual reaction from Atsuko, as she was the one that usually initiated such contact. However, the reaction faded soon enough, and Atsuko wiped at her eyes with her sleeves.
“I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have come here,” she whispered, attempting to stand. Minami prevented her from doing so with a strong grip on her arm.
“Acchan, there’s obviously something upsetting you. Won’t you please tell me?” Atsuko remained seated on the floor, refusing to meet Minami’s gaze. With a sigh Minami positioned herself on the floor beside Atsuko and hung her head on the edge of her bed, her eyes focusing on the ceiling above them. Slowly she slipped her hand down Atsuko’s arm to grab her hand. “Please tell me what’s wrong, Acchan. I don’t like to see you crying like this.”
Still she only received silence. Racking her brain for possible issues, Minami’s own experience from earlier influenced her first option.
“Is this about your crush, by any chance?”
It was purely a guess but it hit the mark as Atsuko finally responded to Minami with a simple nod of her head.
“Did you confess to her? Did she reject you?”
A slow shake of the head ‘no’. Minami sighed, having no more ideas, when a faint whisper reached her ears. Caught off guard, she shot her gaze back onto the girl beside her with a curious pout.
“I’m sorry, Acchan; could you repeat that?”
“I realized today that… I don’t love her anymore. At least, not… like that.”
Minami’s lips formed an ‘o’ as she took in the new information. Still, is that any reason for her to be crying like this? Heck, I’m the one that just broke up with someone, albeit mutual.
“What makes you say that?” Minami asked, hoping to keep her unusually morose friend talking.
Atsuko wiped at her eyes again before answering. “Due to certain circumstances, I spent a good deal of time alone with her today. I even held her hand more than once.”
“And?”
“And I didn’t feel anything! No kind of excitement at all! If she’s the person I like, then why didn’t I feel some sort of reaction from holding her hand so tightly? Isn’t that how love works? Besides…” she mumbled with a small pout. “It turns out that she has someone she likes, and it’s not me.”
“I’m sorry, but… I don’t really know how love works, Acchan.” Come to think of it, Haruna and I never held hands. “Wait, what now? What did I say now?” Minami began to panic as Atsuko’s sobs grew. “Atsuko, there’s more behind your tears, isn’t there?” she asked, releasing Atsuko’s hand as she wiped at the other girl’s tears, though Atsuko still would not meet her gaze.
Atsuko shook her head affirmatively as she heaved a sigh. “I realized that… there’s someone else… that I like but…” She sobbed as she began to speak a bit more quickly, her emotions beginning to take over. “I don’t want to resign to the fact that I like this person because my heart hurts so much already and I don’t want to have my heart broken again. But… I really like this person, Minami.”
Minami sighed, relieved that Atsuko was finally opening up about what was bothering her. “More than you ever loved her?” she asked. Atsuko replied with a quiet ‘yes’, flopping to her side to rest her head in Minami’s lap. “How so?”
“When I’m with this person I feel all the things you’re supposed to feel when you’re in love. My chest tightens and my heart flutters. There’s electricity when I hold this person’s hand. I can trust this person with my life.”
A small confused pout appeared on Minami’s face. “What’s the problem then, Acchan?” Minami felt Atsuko stiffen once again before she answered in a low, monotonous voice.
“This person I like is already in a relationship.”
“Oh.” There was a brief silence and then Atsuko’s sad voice filtered up to Minami’s ears.
“I can’t help but to think that I need to bring myself to fall out of love with this person.”
The two sat quietly for a few moments, both taking advantage of the opportunity to gather their thoughts. Minami quietly sang a song as she absentmindedly stroked Atsuko’s bangs.
“Chiisana asa no hikari wa…”++
As Minami sang the familiar song, Atsuko’s sniffling began to subside under her soothing touch.
“Feeling better?” Minami asked, ceasing her song when she sensed Atsuko’s change.
“Un,” Atsuko grunted, not daring to meet Minami’s eyes.
“About what you said… I don’t think you should do that,” Minami said, reflecting on her recent experience. “I think that you should spend time with this person. You should make sure it’s not just another crush but that it’s really a love deserving of your tears. Then you can decide what to do.” Atsuko said nothing so Minami continued, sadness once again tinting her voice. “Besides, some relationships just aren’t meant to be. If you really do like this person then don’t grow apart from them. You might still have a fighting chance in the future. If you two are meant to be, then something will happen eventually. Until that time… if you truly love this person, then you should be happy for them. Besides, even if they have someone special, only a crazy person would turn down having you as a friend.” Minami gave a stiff laugh and then mumbled, “We’re not supposed to have romantic relationships, anyways.”
Atsuko nodded in appreciative understanding and the two were bathed in silence yet again. As Minami pondered her own situation a small whisper reached her ears.
“I love you, Minami.”
“Haha. I know, Acchan. You tell me that all the time. We’re best friends, remember?” Minami replied with a small smile as she reached down and took a hold of Atsuko’s hand once again.
“You know, speaking of best friends,” Atsuko began teasingly, “I think Tomochin and I were wrong about you. You can actually be pretty smart when it comes to these matters.”
That’s only because I just broke up with Haruna. Minami feigned offense to Atsuko’s statement. “And what’s that supposed to mean?” she asked with a playful scowl.
“Nothing; nothing at all.”
Minami couldn’t help but to return the honest smile that graced Atsuko’s lips. “You want to spend the night? It’s already pretty late.”
Another nod from the unusually quiet Atsuko sealed the deal. The two pried themselves from the floor and quickly prepared for bed. Content to peacefully fall asleep, Minami was surprised when the no longer as upset Atsuko started conversation yet again.
“Minami…”
“Hmm?” was her tired response.
“Have you ever been in love? I mean, I’ve burdened you with my love troubles; don’t you have any of your own?”
Minami thought carefully before she answered. Though her best friend in AKB, there was a limit to how much she could admit to Atsuko. Minami’s story was intertwined with Haruna’s, after all, and though they were friends, Atsuko was not as close with Haruna. Deciding on a happy median, Minami answered as honestly as possible, sensing that the sincerity in her voice was what Atsuko most needed to hear.
“I thought I was in love once,” Minami whispered, and her answer was enough for Atsuko to roll over and look her directly in the eyes.
“Only once?”
“Well… looking back on it, not even I was immune to childhood crushes. But… I thought I might have been in love more recently.”
“I see,” Atsuko stated, biting her lower lip in thought.
“But…” Minami mumbled, her voice trailing off as she left her thought unspoken.
“But?” urged Atsuko.
Minami sighed. “It was merely an illusion; a misconception, really. We both agreed that what we felt between us wasn’t really romantic love. But the person I felt these things toward is still very dear to me.”
There was a silent pause as the two refused to look at each other, both unsure of what to say next. Finally, Atsuko spoke in a voice barely above a whisper.
“Are you seeing anyone right now, Minami?”
“No, of course I’m not! We’re idols, remember?” Minami answered a bit too quickly, though yet again there was a hint of sadness hidden in her voice. Not anymore. “What gives you that idea?” she asked, red-faced.
Another pause, and then, “It’s nothing. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked.”
“Acchan?” Minami stated the other girl’s name cautiously as she watched Atsuko settle back into her covers and turn her back to her.
“Minami,” Atsuko stated firmly. “I wish you’d let me help you with your burdens, just like you helped me tonight. You don’t have to do everything by yourself.”
Minami smiled a warm smile, though it went unseen by her companion. “Thanks, Atsuko.” Minami maintained her smile as Atsuko soon fell asleep, but her thoughts attempted to prevent her from obtaining any sleep that night.
To be honest, I don’t think I ever want to fall in love. Not after seeing how ‘real’ love has affected Acchan. Besides, romantic relationships are forbidden, after all, and I don’t want to jeopardize my career. I wouldn’t call what Kojiharu and I shared a mistake, but it’d be dangerous to do that again. I think… I’ll swear off love and focus only on being an idol. From here on I’ll close that part of my heart and not let anybody in.
As the hours passed by Minami found that she was only able to put her rambling thoughts at ease by watching Atsuko sleep peacefully beside her.
Acchan’s pretty even when she’s sleeping.
What Minami had failed to realize was that in closing the door to her heart that night she had trapped a certain person that was already inside.
End Chapter 1, Part 2
++ This song's legal information will be disclosed at a later time. It's a good song, though, so if you know what it is, kudos to you!
Acchan graduating... damn. I saw it coming, and yet... I knew I should have shared my story sooner. Her announcement came at a convenient time, though. I was having trouble thinking of a conclusion, and it's not too late to alter Chapter 3 of this story. As stated before, Chapters 1 and 2 were completed well before Atsuko's announcement, as well as most of Chapter 3. I apologize if they prove to hit uncomfortably close to the mark for any readers. Again, please have patience as I continue to upload my story. Chapters 1 and 2 are both 40+ pages long in MSWord.
Please don't let this announcement prevent you from writing any stories or finishing what you've already started.
Acchan, we'll miss you. Thank you for sharing so many years of your life with us. Best of luck in following your dream. And until you've actually graduated (and after), we're all behind you, 100%.
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It's funny how reading this is having a soothing effect on me, considering the still lingering feelings of Acchan's graduation.
Really interesting and enjoying your story so far. :thumbup
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Hearing the news about Acchan made me depressed :cry: but not any more. I will still continue to support her after the graduation. And that she will continue to be her own self and continue to shine like she always do.
Now to your fic: It seems that Takamina will eventually know what LOVE is (with a little help from Acchan)
Your writing style is :thumbsup I like it.
Thank you for your update!
Arígatou! :kneelbow:
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Yay! Even tho Acchan going to graduate,but i don't think it's problem, i mean she leave akb for her next life, her career ,that's new begining, not mean that she'll leave her friends ,they're still could meet when day off...so nvm i'll always keep going ship atsumina, at least to the time takamina have a new wife...?! Lol just k (atstumina always best)
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Here's Chapter 1, Part 3. Please enjoy. And if you don't like dream sequences, too bad. There's one in here.
//To be honest, I don’t think I ever want to fall in love. Not after seeing how ‘real’ love has affected Acchan. Besides, romantic relationships are forbidden, after all, and I don’t want to jeopardize my career. I wouldn’t call what Kojiharu and I shared a mistake, but it’d be dangerous to do that again. I think… I’ll swear off love and focus only on being an idol. From here on I’ll close that part of my heart and not let anybody in.//
As the hours passed by Minami found that she was only able to put her rambling thoughts at ease by watching Atsuko sleep peacefully beside her.
//Acchan’s pretty even when she’s sleeping.//
What Minami had failed to realize was that in closing the door to her heart that night she had trapped a certain person that was already inside.
Portraits
An AKB48 Fan Fiction
Chapter 1, Part 3
_ _ _ _ _
Time passed and Minami and Haruna both continued to develop close friendships with other members. There were no awkward feelings; they remained dear friends and to their knowledge no one else knew of their past. However, in the end, Takahashi Minami’s brief crush had been a fellow idol. Though they both agreed that it had not been love, Minami could not deny the fact that she had, at least in that original incident, been physically and emotionally attracted to the other idol.
Realizing the implications behind such feelings and the consequences that a future relationship could have on her potential career, Minami decided to block all romantic desires from her heart, body, and mind, a defensive reflex that would render her even more clueless to the feelings of those around her. She did not want to raise any suspicions, though sometimes her actions had the opposite effect. The members would often tease her about her masculine character traits, and her refusal to bathe openly with them only fueled the fire. The other girls in the group would fool around, sharing kisses and hugs carelessly. “I love you”s were tossed around like candy, especially among close friends. (Ever since they became friends, Minami was Atsuko’s main victim for such treatment, as well as a target of many others.) Minami often stiffened at the others’ touches and did her best to avoid anything more personal.
Over the next few years Minami’s life would change dramatically. She and her career would blossom beautifully. Eventually she’d move out on her own, make special appearances overseas, and even guest star on television shows. Within those years, throughout it all, she didn’t fail to grow closer to her friends. Her friendships were something that she would never abandon. However, through her self-imposed restrictions Minami grew ignorant to true love. Due to this ignorance, the heart she had unintentionally captured would struggle daily throughout the years.
_ _ _ _ _
“Hey Miichan, what are you doing this weekend?” Minami asked, stepping beside the girl that was one of her best friends. They were in the dressing room, one of their performances having just ended.
Miichan started answering without looking up from her magazine. “I have Saturday off, since no3b’s recording was rescheduled. Ah, but you know that,” she reasoned, tossing her magazine aside to see that it was Minami that had addressed her.
“So your Saturday’s still open?” Minami asked for clarification.
“Yup!” Miichan chirped. “I haven’t made any new plans yet. Why?”
“Let’s go to the amusement park. I’ve been itching to go lately and I finally have a full day off. Seeing as how you, my good friend, also have the day off, let’s go together. It’s even more fun with friends, right?”
Miichan smirked as Minami’s childish side began to break through her captain’s persona. “Alright, I’m in.”
“Great! Now let’s go ask Kojiharu; I bet we can make it a no3b adventure!”
Miichan’s amusement did not dwindle as she watched Minami fist-pump the air. “Are we only asking Kojiharu, or can we invite some of the others?”
“Ask me what?” a sweet voice asked from behind them, and they turned to find Haruna and her ever-present attachment.
“An adventure at the amusement park this weekend, what do you say?” Minami asked with glistening eyes as she glanced between Haruna and Yuko.
“Okay,” Haruna answered in her typical air-headed tone.
“Count me in!” Yuko shouted with a wide grin, releasing Haruna long enough to trade shoulder blows with Minami.
A confused pout formed on Haruna’s features. “Eh? Yuu-chan, don’t you have a photo-shoot this weekend?”
Yuko stared at her incredulously. “You think I’m gonna pass up this chance? I’ll just have it moved to an earlier time. That way I can spend the whole afternoon with you.” Yuko turned from Haruna to find the two Minamis staring at her slack-jawed. “What?”
“Wow, Yuko, you are dedicated,” Miichan said, recovering from her stupor. Yuko nodded and turned to Minami with a strange look which Miichan quickly interpreted. “Oh, and she was just copying me,” she explained, elbowing the still slack-jawed Minami back into reality. “It’s not like she’d ever be able to pick up on those love vibes.”
“So, who else should we invite?” Minami asked while rubbing her side, choosing [wisely] to ignore Miichan’s insult. “Acchan can’t go; she’s filming.”
Minami’s three companions quickly traded curious glances before continuing the conversation.
“I’ll ask Mariko.” Haruna said, though her voice rising at the end made it sound more like a question than a statement.
“Sure, but rather than picking specific people, I have a better idea,” Yuko said, grinning as she leapt up onto a nearby chair. She cast one last wink at her companions before cupping her hands to her mouth. “Everyone is this room is invited for a group party at the amusement park this Saturday!” she shouted, earning the attention of all the members present. “Takamina will mail all of you with details later today!”
Seeing the smiles on the faces surrounding her, Minami didn’t mind the extra bit of work Yuko had just assigned her. Saturday was sure to be a fun day spent with the people she held dear.
It had been the third consecutive week in which she’d invited Atsuko to the park and it was the third consecutive week in which Atsuko had to refuse her invitation due to work. Minami was slightly perturbed by the fact that Atsuko’s work had seemingly taken over their time together, but she knew acting was Atsuko’s dream. Besides, her drama would be ending soon enough. She’d just have to catch up with Atsuko some other time.
_ _ _
“That movie was awesome!” Minami shouted, running from the theater into the cold night air. She threw kicks and punches at imaginary enemies, antics which earned a small laugh from Atsuko. “Don’t worry, Acchan,” Minami said, leaping onto the low wall of a small garden area and posing dramatically, her breath a vapor cloud before her. “If anybody should pose a threat, I will protect you.”
Atsuko looked up at Minami’s serious expression and laughed again. “I’m glad you enjoyed the film so much, Minami.”
“Yeah, the movie was great, but… I mean it,” Minami stated, jumping down from the wall as dramatically as she’d leapt onto it. “You mean a lot to me, Acchan. I will never let anybody hurt you.” Minami looked at Atsuko earnestly and watched as a blush crept across the taller girl’s cheeks.
“That movie got you really fired up, didn’t it?” Atsuko asked, turning from Minami’s intense gaze with a chuckle. “We’ll have to catch another one sometime soon.”
I’ve missed this, Minami thought suddenly as she looked at Atsuko’s smile. Six weeks apart was too long.
“Yes, let’s,” Minami replied, moving to the edge of the street to watch for vacant taxis. That familiar old melody drifted to mind and she began to hum it unknowingly. She smiled when a moment later she felt Atsuko step beside her and take her arm with a whispered, “It’s cold.” As they stood waiting Minami took the opportunity to chat about the action movie they’d just seen. Based on one of her favorite manga, she’d been elated when Atsuko had mentioned going to see it together.
Minutes later a taxi drove by and Minami flagged it down valiantly. As it drew up to the curb she was struck with an idea. It was rather late now, the film having been a late night showing, and the two idols had to be at the theater early in the morning. At this point she would only get a few hours’ worth of sleep after seeing Atsuko off at home, and she’d be lying to herself if she didn’t admit to wanting to spend more time with her. Taking a deep breath, Minami opened the cab door for her friend, and as Atsuko stepped into the cab the words flowed eloquently from Minami’s lips.
“Care to spend the night?”
_ _ _
Minami smiled at Haruna as they took the stage. They were the first act; the show opener. It was the beginning of AKB48’s Karaoke Competition and the two had eagerly volunteered to go first. Rolling the whiteboard to the middle of the stage, they shared another quick smile before stepping to their respective sides. The music started and Minami felt her heart grow warm as she began dancing. The two began to sing, their voices blending easily.
“Kimi ni deaete yokatta. Setsunai keredo yokatta. Hitori no yoru mo soba ni itekureta. Sekai ni tatta hitori no kimi ni deaete yokatta. Omoide wa yoruno sora hoshi ni nari kagayaku yo.”*
Haruna began singing the female part, leaving Minami, naturally, the male part to sing. The words were a reflection of their relationship. They were dear friends, irreplaceable in each other’s heart.
I am glad that I met you, Haruna, she thought, not missing her next line in the song. I’ve never regretted it.
_
“Si oretachi wa itsu demo futari de hitotsu datta jimoto ja makeshirazu sou daro .”**
Minami stood backstage quietly singing the song she’d finished performing with Sae not long ago. It was another song with reflected her relationship with a friend, this time her brotherly bond with the tall Genking. Ever a catchy tune it had not ceased to plant itself in her head. And now it was stuck there.
“Si oretachi wa mukashi kara kono machi ni akogarete shinjite ikite kita.”
The competition had since ended and the members were loitering around, waiting as the crew diligently prepared the stage for the concert portion of the day’s event. There was a chill in the air as the day quickly approached evening, bringing Minami and the others to seek cups of warm tea with the provided refreshments. Wrapping her hands tightly around the cup Minami made her way outside the tent. Finding a suitable area to rest she sat down and glanced up at the sky above her.
“Naze darou omoidashita keshiki wa tabidatsu hi no kirei na sora dakishimete.”
Today’s sky is not so beautiful, she thought, noting the grey clouds gathered above.
“Hey, Takamina!” an angry voice called. Minami was soon presented with the sight of its owner accompanied by Haruna and Atsuko. Yuko stopped before Minami with her hands on her hips looking none too pleased. “What’s the big idea, huh?”
“What this about?” Minami asked, taking a sip of tea as she cast a glance for help at Haruna.
“You know very well what this is about!”
“Actually, I don-”
“You tried to steal my Nyan Nyan!” Yuko accused, staring down at Minami.
Minami cast another glance at Haruna, but the tall girl only shook her head in response. “Umm, I’m pretty sure I didn’t do anything of the sort.”
Yuko crossed her arms with a huff. “Then what was up with that duet, huh?”
“It was just a song, Yuko; a performance. As I recall, she returned to you quickly enough for your Melodies*** duet. What was with that song, huh?”
“I like it!” Yuko defended. “But our performance was different! It didn’t have the whole lovey-dovey vibe that yours did!”
Shaking resignedly, Minami decided to try a different tactic to get rid of Yuko’s misguided persistence. “Paru, would you please-”
“You’ve been too quiet, Acchan!” Yuko scolded, turning to the younger girl beside her. “You tell her what you think! You felt it too, right, the lovers’ atmosphere?”
Atsuko said nothing. She looked down at Minami with a strange expression, one with which Minami was not familiar. Standing up suddenly, she took Atsuko’s hand in worry.
“Atsuko, is something wrong?” Minami asked, searching Atsuko’s eyes for an answer.
“No,” Atsuko replied quietly a moment later, shaking her head as if trying to rid herself of some ill thoughts. “I thought it was a good duet. It deserved better rankings than you received.”
Good. I thought she might have been upset with me.
Minami released Atsuko’s hand with a scoff and crossed her arms. “Yeah, well, Miyazaki was a judge. It was to be expected.”
“Would you sing a duet with me next time, Minami?” Atsuko suddenly blurted, catching Minami and the others off-guard. They stared at her curiously as she quickly turned away.
“Yeah, sure,” Minami answered after a few seconds’ recovery. “I’d love to do that, Acchan.”
There was a brief silence during which Yuko glanced from Minami to Atsuko with a wise grin, Atsuko and Minami refused to meet each other’s gaze, and Haruna stared at nothing in particular.
“There you all are!” Miichan shouted, running up to the quartet. “They’ve just given us a fifteen minute warning.”
“Alright, Takamina, I’ll let you off the hook this time,” Yuko stated threateningly as she latched onto Haruna with one hand, waving the other at Minami in a fist. “But don’t think I’ll forget this.”
“I missed something, didn’t I?” Miichan asked as she followed the others back to the staging area.
_ _ _
“Ta-ka-mi-na!”
Minami cringed at the sound of the approaching voice. It was the third time today, and this time Minami was too tired to fight her off, having gone through a day’s worth of filming for their drama. First her head would be grabbed, and then her hair swept aside, and finally-
Minami squirmed as a pair of lips was planted on her ear.
“Mocchi, it’s not that I don’t appreciate your affection, but please get off me,” Minami said, trying to wriggle out of the other girl’s grasp.
“Mem mo memom…” Asuka mumbled, her mouth full of Minami’s ear. Ten more seconds. Minami began to sigh when Mocchi’s nibbling was suddenly cut short with a yelp.
“Hands off, Mocchi,” the newly arrived Atsuko said with a scolding stare.
“It’s fine, Acchan,” Minami said, hoping to cool the situation. “I’m used to it by now.”
Mocchi cast Atsuko a challenging grin. “You know, Acchan, Takamina isn’t yours, and you ought to learn to share. I’m not the only one that likes Takamina. She has her own fan club of members that love her.” Bringing her hand up to Atsuko’s eye level, Asuka began counting on her fingers as she listed names. “Amina, Kojiharu, Shii-chan, Tomo-…”
“Ah!” Atsuko gasped suddenly, grabbing Minami by the collar. In one swift movement she turned Minami’s chin away and swept her hair to the side. “Minami, what is that?” she demanded, staring at Minami’s jawline.
“What is what?” Minami asked, confused and a bit unnerved by Atsuko’s panicked behavior.
“… at least half of the kenkyuusei…” Mocchi continued, not paying attention to the other two.
“That!” Atsuko said, fishing a compact so that Minami could see.
Looking in the mirror, Minami stared at the offending lipstick print for a few seconds before the answer dawned on her. “Oh, that,” she started sheepishly. “Atsuko, i-it’s not what you think,” Minami began nervously. Wait, why am I panicking? What’s it matter to me what Atsuko thinks? “Yukarin was here earlier, a-and she was fooling around, ‘proving how much she missed me’, so-”
“Ah, Yukarin,” Mocchi piped in with a triumphant smile. “You can add her to that list.”
Atsuko shot Mocchi a cold glare in which the other girl found her cue to leave. Turning back to Minami she hurriedly wiped at the offending mark with her thumb.
“Acchan, cut it out, that kind of hurts,” Minami said, batting Atsuko’s hand away. “It’s fine, really. I was about to go wash it off. Why does it bother you so much, anyway?” Minami looked up at Atsuko curiously, only to see the other girl turn away uncharacteristically shyly.
“You’re right,” Atsuko whispered. “I don’t know why I reacted that way.”
What’s gotten into her? Minami wondered with the shake of her head. “I had covered it with my hair hoping to avoid a misunderstanding like this, but then I forgot about it. Another failure, huh?” Minami chanced with a laugh, hoping to lighten the mood. Sensing Atsuko’s discomfort she reached out to take her friend’s hand. “Come on, let’s go change,” she said, walking towards the dressing room. “I’m hungry. Let’s invite the others out for dinner, what do you say?”
“Yes, let’s,” Atsuko replied with a nod, following happily behind Minami.
_ _ _
“Hey, Takamidget, ya ready to go?” a cheerful, teasing voice asked from her left, and Minami turned to find Yuko grinning eagerly from ear-to-ear.
“Of course I’m ready,” Minami asserted, meeting Yuko’s grin with an excited smile of her own. “I’ve been waiting all week for this.”
“Then let’s go!” Yuko shouted, pumping her fist into the air and drawing the attention of the other members in the room. “Nyan Nyan!” she continued shouting, unbothered by the others’ stares. “Captain’s good-to-go; let’s get this outing started!”
“Yuu-chan, please be quieter,” Haruna’s calm voice replied, much to the relief of the others present.
“Where are you going?”
Minami jumped with a small yelp as an unexpected hand gripped her shoulder. She quickly turned and came face-to-face with her assailant.
“Acchan,” Minami greeted with a small, startled whisper. Why did my heart just skip a beat? “W-we’re just going out for a bit of fun this evening.”
“Fun?” Atsuko repeated the word accusingly with a rise of her brow.
“Yeah, fun; f-u-n,” Yuko iterated teasingly, the statement accompanied by a wriggle of her brows and a cunning smile.
“May I join you?” Atsuko asked, sparing a quick glance at the newly arrived Haruna.
“Gee, I don’t know about that, Acchan,” Minami stated a bit hesitantly, a hint of blush on her cheeks. “It’s not exactly your kind of thing, and I don’t want you to be bored to death.”
“Eh, let ‘er come, Captain,” Yuko mildly persuaded with a shrug.
“But-”
“Nyan Nyan’s will be there, too. It’ll be fun.” As if to emphasize her statement, Yuko latched onto the tall girl beside her enthusiastically.
Yuko was hinting as something but Minami was unsure as to what that something might be. With a sigh she nodded and gave in to the stares of her companions. “Alright,” she said. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
“Alright!” Yuko shouted with another fist pump. “It’s a double date!”
“EH?!”
_ _ _
On lunch break from filming, Acchan was sitting happily in Minami’s lap, Minami’s arms wrapped tightly about her waist to keep her from falling. The two were talking with their heads close together, Minami resting her chin on Atsuko’s shoulder, oblivious to those around them. To most people it would look like two close friends having an innocent albeit private conversation, but to a certain duo observing them from across the room…
“They’re doing it again,” Mariko said, peeking out from behind a pile of the girls’ various belongings with her hands encircling her eyes like a pair of binoculars.
“They’re simply oozing lovey-dovey couple,” Miichan observed, her own hands mimicking the older girl’s as she lay on her stomach, she too hiding behind the pile. “It’s usually just Acchan, but this time Takamina is certainly giving off love vibes of her own. Look how protectively she’s holding Acchan.”
“To be honest, I don’t think Acchan fully realizes how obviously head-over-heels in love she is with the captain. I mean, just watch the way she looks at anybody that comes near Takamina; could she be more transparent?” Miichan nodded her agreement to Mariko’s words, her focus not leaving the couple before her. “Then there’s the way her smile lights up when she simply sees Takamina; the small, personal touches whenever she can; the way she mentions Takamina in most of her interviews…”
Miichan again nodded her consent. “I know, right? Acchan’s been crazy about Takamina for years now, but Bakamina couldn’t be any more clueless about Acchan’s feelings, let alone her own. I love her dearly, but I swear she’s denser than a brick sometimes.” The spying duo shared a disheartened sigh. “I wish she would do us all a favor and give Acchan even just a small sign that she’s interested.”
“You know,” Mariko began slowly, releasing her “goggles”, “it’s kind of like Takamina is trying to not show any affections. It almost seems as if she doesn’t want to fall in love.”
Miichan finally turned from the scene before her to look at Mariko with disdain. “That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard. Why wouldn’t she want to fall in love?”
“Well, it is Takamina.” Mariko stated with a shrug, as if the other idol’s nickname alone was a suitable answer.
Miichan narrowed her eyes and stared at Mariko skeptically for a moment before sighing concededly and casting her sights heaven-ward. “I pray to the powers that be: please don’t let this drama drag out any longer. Please do something to make Takamina realize her feelings and just how much Acchan loves her.”
_ _ _
A group of them had agreed to go out to eat after rehearsal. It was an activity that always proved enjoyable. They could drop their idol images (to a certain degree) and simply be themselves, a group of young ladies out having fun together. They engaged in conversations within earshot at the table, all of them friendly enough with one another to tease and joke their companions.
Minami sat with Atsuko to her left and Mariko to her right, the ever-fashionable Tomochin and Tomo~mi across from her. Miichan was seated down the table conversing with Sae, though Minami would have sworn the girls were right next to her, judging by how energetically they were chatting. Yuko was next to Tomochin, Haruna, naturally, beside her, and Sayaka to Haruna’s other side, shaking her head at Miichan and Sae’s ‘conversation’. Glancing around the table, Minami couldn’t help but to feel content, surrounded by her friends.
As the evening dwindled on, the night owls said goodbye to the others as they left. First the early-to-bed crowd took off, as was to be expected. Then those that had morning appointments took their leave. Finally, it was only those members that had a night to waste that remained. Even they, too, had to leave at some time, and that time was quickly approaching.
As the remainder of girls left the restaurant Minami turned to Atsuko behind her with a warm smile. “Want to spend the night, Acchan?” she asked. Atsuko had turned down her previous invitation, catching Minami by surprise, but not altogether unexpected. “Sorry, Minami, not tonight,” Atsuko replied, a twinge of guilt in her voice.
Momentarily unperturbed by Atsuko’s answer, Minami turned to Miichan beside her. “What do you say, Mine-chan? Want to spend the night?”
“Alright!” Miichan chimed.
Happy enough to spend the rest of the evening with the girl that was one of her best friends, Minami was ignorant of her other best friend’s conflicting emotions.
_
/////
//It’s cold.//
Minami studied her surroundings as best she could, but truth be told, there wasn’t much to study. It was pitch-black as far as she could see, save for a small pinpoint of light shimmering in the distance. The ground was rough and unpaved. Reaching out to her sides, she determined that there were no walls.
//So I’m in a large, freezing cold area,// she thought, trying to reassure herself as she wrapped her arms tightly about her body for warmth. //This is an awful dream.// The light was the only other thing present, so with a sigh she began walking in its direction. She hummed a song in an attempt to distract herself from her nerves. She conversed with herself, made fun of herself, and berated herself. Despite it all, no matter how long she walked, the light never grew closer.
Suddenly she paused. Her foot had brushed against something small and soft. Stooping down, she felt around her feet until her hands grabbed hold of the offending object, pulling it from the ground with just a small amount of birr. Through touch alone she was able to recognize the familiar shape of a stem and petals.
“It’s a flower,” Minami stated aloud, though there was no one there to hear her. “You’ll be my new companion,” she whispered to the flower, tucking it behind her ear as she stood and continued her trek, humming yet again. As she focused before her she found to her surprise that the light appeared to be a few meters closer. Still, no matter how long she walked, it never again grew closer.
As her body grew weary from walking, an important question that had eluded her finally filtered to mind and her humming ceased.
//Wait…//
“Where am I?”
/////
“In bed, when you should be on the way to work! C’mon, Takamina! I don’t want to be late because of you!”
Minami awoke to the familiar feeling of a pillow meeting her face, and opened her eyes soon after to find an unhappy Minegishi Minami standing before her, said pillow in hand. Phew. It really was a dream. Wait…
“Mine-chan, what are you doing here? And did you have to hit me that hard? Ugh, my whole body hurts.” Minami sat up and groaned as the harsh sunlight met her eyes.
“I spent the night, remember?” Miichan explained with a huff, hands on her hips. “Now get up! We’re recording for a television show this afternoon; we can’t afford to be late!”
“Yes, yes. Now get out of here,” Minami commanded, slowly pushing the younger girl through her bedroom door. “I’m going to take a quick shower.”
“It had better be quick!” Miichan managed to shout before the door was shut in her face.
_
“You’re late!” Minami winced at the harsh tone in Atsuko’s voice as she glared between the two dawdlers.
“Sorry, Acchan! Aww, did you miss me, my wife?”
Atsuko shook her head as Miichan gave her a quick hug before walking past her and further into the dressing room. Turning back to Minami, she caught the small girl in the midst of a yawn.
“Long night?” She asked, tilting her head curiously.
“Not really,” Minami answered with a shrug.
“You look more tired than usual. Did Miichan keep you up too late?” Minami quickly stared up at Atsuko. There was an unusual tone to the other girl’s voice. Teasing? Interest?
No, Minami thought with a slowly growing smirk. I think that’s … jealousy. Moving to pass Atsuko, she paused as she stood next to the ace. “You’re just jealous that I had spent time with your ‘wife’ and not you. Mine-chan’s one of my best friends, you know. She spends the night all the time, unlike someone else I know that suddenly started turning down my invites.” Pausing, Minami struck a thoughtful pose, touching a finger to her chin. “Miichan usually makes off with a pair of my panties the next morning, too. And doesn’t give ‘em back, now that I think about it.”
“I’m not jealous,” Acchan retorted, giving Minami a light shove.
“Well,” Minami started, continuing her walk and setting her bag down in the designated area. “It’s not like I didn’t invite you, you know. You turned down my offer. Again. So you can’t be upset with me for something that is not my fault.”
Crossing her arms sternly, Atsuko looked to the side as she formed her defense. “I never said I was upset or jealous. You just assumed that I was. And I didn’t accept your offer because I-” Atsuko ceased her words, a slight blush rising to her cheeks. Turning quickly, she started to walk away as Minami put down her hairbrush (albeit a bit too forcefully) and grasped Atsuko’s arm.
Oh, no; that wasn’t jealousy?
“Because you what, Acchan?”
Did she somehow learn my secret?
“Because she knows better than to accept a guy’s invitation to spend the night!” Mariko scolded, entering the conversation with a slight jab to Takamina’s shoulder. “You don’t have time for this lovers’ quarrel,” the older girl scolded, bringing a blush to both of the younger girls’ cheeks. “Talk about it afterwards. Right now you need to get changed.” Poking Takamina’s forehead, Mariko then took Atsuko by the arm and turned to walk off towards the set. “Ah,” she squeaked, pausing in her step.
“What is it?” Atsuko inquired, following Mariko’s gaze.
“Pink panties,” they both stated flatly as they caught a glimpse of Miichan changing into her costume.
For a fleeting moment, Minami couldn’t help but to think that perhaps there was some depth to Mariko’s teasing words. However, there was one thing about the recent interaction that confused Minami, something that had never really bothered her previously. If she was the one on whom Atsuko was always pouring her affections, then why was it Miichan that was Atsuko’s ‘wife’?
Shaking the strange thoughts and feelings from mind, Minami sighed as she began changing into the day’s outfit.
_ _ _
Minami and Atsuko sat together behind a small hedge, hidden from the sights of a certain couple in a small bistro across the street. Atsuko sat content with an amused smile on her face as Minami leaned against her shoulder. Minami wore a bewildered look, having just a few minutes before witnessed something she found to be astonishing.
“You knew this whole time, didn’t you?” Minami whispered accusingly, breaking her few minutes of silence.
“Guilty.” Atsuko answered with a grin. “Everyone else in the group knows, too.”
“Wait, how did I not know this?” Minami asked, her classic failure expression adorning her features as she pushed off Atsuko’s shoulder and stood.
“Because you’re you, Minami,” Atsuko said quietly as she stood, and Minami swore she heard sadness in the other girl’s voice. “Like Miichan’s always saying, you probably wouldn’t recognize love even if it hit you in the face.”
“I would too!” Minami protested with a stomp of her foot. “Why does everybody always say things like that? I’m not that cluele-”
“Quick, get down! They’re leaving!” Atsuko said, pushing Minami back down behind the bushes though accidently socking her in the eye in the process.
“Geez, Acchan; that hurt.”
“I’m so sorry!” Atsuko gasped in terror. “Here, let me see.” She gently took Minami’s face in her hands, eliciting a small hiss of pain from the other girl. Minami soon felt her face flush as she realized Atsuko’s close proximity.
Why is my heart beating so quickly?
Ignorant of Minami’s discomfort, Atsuko lightly blew on the wound she’d caused, not noticing as the other girl froze in reaction to the gesture. “It’s just a scrape and a small bump, though you might end up with a bruise. I’m so sorry, Minami.”
Why is my chest so tight? And why does my stomach feel so strange?
“A-Acchan, I think I need to r-rest; my heart it beating pretty quickly and I-I don’t feel so well.”
Atsuko looked at Minami with worry filled eyes. “I’ll help you into one of those chairs. C’mon, stand up.”
“Ahem!”
It was the familiar sound of a displeased person clearing her throat to gain attention. Minami and Atsuko both froze in their ministrations and slowly looked up to find a certain couple looking down at them disapprovingly. Caught red-handed, the two cast sheepish, guilty smiles at the pair.
End Chapter 1, Part 3
* “LOVE FOREVER,” copyright Kato Miliyah, Shimizu Shota, and Sony Music Entertainment Japan. Released May 13, 2009. The opening stanza was used here. “I'm so glad I met you. Even though it's painful, I'm glad you were by my side when I was alone at night. You were the only person in the world I was glad to meet. Our memories are shining, becoming stars in the night sky.”
** “Seishun Amigo,” copyright ‘Shuuji to Akira’ and Johnny’s Entertainment. Released November 2, 2005. The lines of the initial [and ultimate] refrain are used here. “Si, the two of us were always one; at home we were invincible, weren’t we? Si, we had longed to come to this town for a long time. For some reason, I remember the scenery, embracing the beautiful sky the day we left.”
*** “Melodies,” copyright GAM and Hachama. Released October 18, 2006.
And there's Part 3. I hope you've all enjoyed it. There are two more parts to Chapter 1; both are a bit shorter than the others.
Until the next time.
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Great chapter :)
Is the flower in the small room supposed to symbolize takamina's unknowing
blossoming love for acchan? ( I think that I'm put to much thought into this :nervous)
And, is the unsuspecting couple that takamina and acchan are stalking marimii :? ?
Okay, enough with my insinuations, can't wait for your next update and
Good luck in surgery :cow:
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wow atsumina :D i love them
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:)Ahhhh!!!! Takamina u need to realise love is just beside you!! :panic:
:)
Plssss.... Update thank you its a very good fanfic :bow:
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I can't help but wonder, in that breakup scene between Kojiharu & Takamina, who were the 3 people who saw the 'last kiss'. My guess is Acchan, Tomochin & another girl (Tomomi? Miichan?). Acchan had a crush on Tomochin previously but realised she didn't feel the same as when she held hands with Takamina. That's when she realised that she liked the chibi captain but then found out that Tomochin had a crush on Takamina, the same reasons she gave up on Tomochin too. I'm guessing thats why she was behaving weirdly when Takamina did a duet with Haruna.
I just guessing the above or maybe I'm reading too deeply into your story. Either way, I do like the way you write & since the story was using actual happenings made it easy to visualise.
Do take care & hoping for more updates once you are better :)
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Lol Takamina is so hopeless with love xD
I wonder who is the couple
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I would wonder that "IS THIS REALLY ATSUMINA?!"
But, I guess, It's just that you want to Add some other pairings(?) Maybe... Or you want to make some rivals(?)...
Oh man, So many Question... But, I know that this Fic will goin' to end with A Happy Ending of AtsuMina... Horray! xD
And, Bakamina must be really Confused, and that seriously will always Fail... For Suberi Queen Who's surrounded by many Girlfriend and Crush, I do really know how she feels... It must be so Difficult to choose between those Pretty Girls... (But, Takaminie Sure is Lucky!) ;D.. She must be manly and all. Usually, for any Playboys, There will always Broke up... Jealousy or somethin' like that... But, In this case, It's completely Different from what Couple usually Got...
For Haruna, .... Damn! She's so lucky... She can duet with Bakamina... But, I can't even imagine how it was... :nervous And, It's like that this fics going to be TakaHaru... Instead of AtsuMina... Hopefully, Not.
For Tomochin, .... Eh? It's like she's slowly disappear from the story... But, I'm glad because now Acchan just have One Rivals!
For Acchan, .... Oh, My Oshi! I'll do anything for you! I'll support you to win Takamina Heart! Yeah! :yep:
MariMii <3 I like Miichan's Personality here...
Btw, Update soon! ;D
And Sorry For My Bad English... (Since My native language isn't English) :sweatdrop:
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@ilovecandiedapples: Thanks for replying! Yes, the flower does symbolize a blossoming love, though that wasn't really my original intention in writing that scene. It just kind of turned out that way, and I'm glad that you were able to pick up on it. The metaphor is not all too important to the story, though, since it wasn't in my original plans.
@Haruko: Thanks for the reply! I'm glad you like it.
@saeyukilover: Exactly! And thank you! :)
@badsaints: Hmm... I wonder who those three were... You have quite the theory in mind. Are you spot on, or as far from the mark as possible? Or maybe somewhere in between? And why is Atsuko acting so strangely? We'll see... Thanks for replying; I'm glad to hear that you like the writing style.
@kahem: Thanks for the reply! And yes, to be honest, I tried to make Takamina seem as hopeless as possible. Hopefully it wasn't too much...
@Nakamii: Thanks for replying! And yes, it's Atsumina. Just bear with it a bit longer. Believe me; I wasn't lying in my opening post.
I'm glad to see that the story has captured the interests of so many readers. Who were the three spies? Who were Atsuko and Minami caught spying on? Who was/is Atsuko's crush? As Chapter 1 nears its end, I believe more questions will come forth. However, Chapter 2 will certainly bring answers to many of these questions.
I'd like to write a bit more of the story before I make another update, so expect Chapter 1 Part 4 in a few days at the earliest.
And yes, this story is Atsumina. I apologize if the karaoke scene was a bit confusing. At this point in the story Minami and Haruna's romantic relationship has ended. However, I felt it necessary to illustrate their strong friendship, as the Minami in this story thrives more on friendship than love (momentarily, anyhow). Of course, there's also the matter of how the other characters react to the closeness Minami and Haruna share.
For those of you that found the Minami/Haruna karaoke duet a bit odd or hard to imagine, that is actually one of the scenes that I based off a real event. (See video below. Thanks go to Cookai16.)
~AKB48: YuruYuru Karaoke Competition~ 01. Love Forever (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pCgPMS5WByQ#ws)
-
//Why is my heart beating so quickly?//
Ignorant of Minami’s discomfort, Atsuko lightly blew on the wound she’d caused, not noticing as the other girl froze in reaction to the gesture. “It’s just a scrape and a small bump, though you might end up with a bruise. I’m so sorry, Minami.”
//Why is my chest so tight? And why does my stomach feel so strange?//
“A-Acchan, I think I need to r-rest; my heart it beating pretty quickly and I-I don’t feel so well.”
Atsuko looked at Minami with worry filled eyes. “I’ll help you into one of those chairs. C’mon, stand up.”
“Ahem!”
It was the familiar sound of a displeased person clearing her throat to gain attention. Minami and Atsuko both froze in their ministrations and slowly looked up to find a certain couple looking down at them disapprovingly. Caught red-handed, the two cast sheepish, guilty smiles at the pair.
Portraits
An AKB48 Fan Fiction
Chapter 1, Part 4
_ _ _ _ _
Humans have complex emotions; it’s one of the things that most sets them apart from other animals. Love; hate; joy; jealousy; these are but a handful of many such emotions.
Humans also make mistakes.
Contrary to popular belief, Takahashi Minami is, indeed, human.
Amidst the overlooked seeds of love in Minami’s heart, a dark seed sat germinating.
_ _ _ _ _
“I’m getting a solo song! Can you believe it?” Atsuko squealed as she stepped through the doorway behind Minami. Crossing the lobby swiftly, she ran up and pulled a stunned Minami from her seat and into a hug.
“I’m sorry, could you repeat that?” Minami asked, glancing up at an elated Atsuko.
Atsuko let out another excited squeal. “I’m going solo!”
“That’s great!” Minami cheered, doing her best to show her excitement for her friend. “Congratulations, Atsuko.”
“I can’t believe it! I have to go call my family. Don’t go anywhere, okay? Promise?”
Minami cast Atsuko a small nod and a wry smile, but in her current state of elation Atsuko didn’t notice Minami’s sudden sullen demeanor. Minami gave a slight wave as Atsuko left the small lobby area, turning once to look back at Minami with a wide grin.
I’m happy for you, Atsuko, Minami thought with a sigh, collapsing into the chair from which Atsuko had pulled her out of excitedly just a minute before. I really am, which is why I’m scared of this ugly feeling that just washed over me.
Minami knew this feeling; it was jealousy, through and through. It was the same thing she’d felt when Tomochin’s solo was announced.
There goes another friend, living my dream. Minami hung her head over the back of the chair with a grunt of disgust. Her eyes quickly focused on the item before them, albeit upside down. It was a doorway with a placard next to it, leading to an office with which she was familiar. In her current emotional state she probably wouldn’t think twice about going into said office and discussing graduation.
After all, it was beginning to seem that her dream of a solo career would not be possible while she was still in AKB.
She stood from her chair and moved slowly across the room in a trance-like state, coming to a halt before the door. How long she was standing there staring, she didn’t know. Her heart was screaming one thing while her mind was screaming another. Hesitantly, she lifted her hand to knock on the door.
“Minami?” a concerned voice called out, and Minami shot her head around to find that Atsuko had returned. “Is everything okay?”
“Yeah,” Minami replied with a smile. “Everything’s fine. I’m fine.”
Atsuko tilted her head curiously. “Did you have an appointment with Akimoto-sensei, too?”
“No, no,” Minami stuttered, shaking her head in fervent denial. “No, I’m only here because you asked me to accompany you.”
“Okay,” Atsuko said slowly, her voice laced with suspicion. “Shall we go then?”
“Let’s!” Minami agreed, running up beside her. It was clear that her sudden change in behavior only strengthened Atsuko’s doubts, but the taller girl did not question her any further. The two turned to leave in silence. After a few steps Atsuko reached down to grab Minami’s hand, an affection which Minami realized she had long since grown used to; it was something that felt natural. As they stood waiting for the elevator Minami gave Atsuko’s hand a light squeeze.
“Thanks, Atsuko,” she said honestly.
“You’re welcome, but… for what?”
“For being here,” Minami replied, earning a blush from Atsuko. You saved me from making a very big mistake.
_ _ _
Minami was overcome by a strange sensation as she stood on the set behind Atsuko, her eyes focused on the other girl’s back. The band was placed around them, ready to play. The song had started flawlessly, yet as they continued Minami almost missed the cue. Admittedly, her mind had been elsewhere.
The two were on television, Atsuko performing her single, “Flower,” and Minami performing as her back up. And although Minami’s role was only that of back-up, she was elated at the chance to sing with Atsuko. Despite her initial feelings at the news of Atsuko’s single, Minami had fallen in love with the song instantly. Performing it today brought her no worries; she’d memorized it almost immediately after she’d first heard it.
Here she was, singing on a stage with Atsuko, something they’d done numerous times before, and yet… something felt different. Perhaps it was because it was nearly a duet? Or maybe it was because she was behind Atsuko, and not beside her.
No; it wasn’t that it felt different. Simply feeling ‘different’ wouldn’t affect her this way. No, Minami had been caught off-guard because it all felt so comfortably natural. Supporting Atsuko, singing a song with her, basking in her smiles; these were all things Minami suddenly understood were natural to her. She smiled as the realization washed over her.
Bringing her focus back to the song, she was relieved as the performance ended flawlessly. Being together with Atsuko was indeed natural for Minami. As she stood studying Atsuko’s back during the applause, she couldn’t help but to think that she didn’t want it any other way.
_ _ _
/////
//Not again.//
With a huff, Minami reached a hand up behind her ear to find that the flower from last time was still there. Heaving a sigh in defeat, she once again began trudging toward the small light in the distance. The song she was always humming quickly returned to mind, and the sound filtered out into the nothingness that surrounded her.
//I’m stuck in this awful dream once more.//
“You know, little flower,” she began, giving a small chuckle at the idea of her talking to a flower. “I wish you could tell me where the heck we are. That light never gets any closer.” She nodded towards said light, as if the flower needed clarification. “Here I am in the middle of nowhere with nothing but you and that song to keep me company. The other members tell me that I hum it all the time, but to be honest, I never noticed until now. I’m not even sure as to why it would be that song, but… it’s not a bad song, so I’m not complaining. There must be some reason behind it, right?”
Minami paused and reached a hand behind her head as she smiled sheepishly. Realizing that in the end she was still talking with a flower in the dark in a dream, she hung her head in shame. With a sigh she took another step forward but paused yet again, her face contorting in thought. Looking up in a double-take, a smile reached her lips.
“Look, we’ve gotten closer!” she shouted, running towards the light. As she drew even closer she could now tell that the light was filtering through a small window, about the size and shape of a ship’s porthole. Suddenly she crashed over a large, hard object, falling to the floor with no amount of grace. The small flower fell to the floor as well, going unnoticed by Minami. Rubbing her backside, she stood up and scowled at that which had assaulted her.
“Why is there a chair here, in the middle of nowhere?” she mumbled, righting the chair so that she could take a seat, though cautiously. (She sighed. Even in her dreams she was hesitant to take a seat, after the pranks they’d pulled on her.) Minami was a bit startled to find that the chair retained some warmth, but from what? It hadn’t been in the light when she’d arrived.
//The light…//
Turning to the source of the light behind her, another important question came to mind. “Never mind the chair, why is there a window in the middle of nowhere?” she grunted. “How is there a window?” Minami stood and moved the chair below the window, climbing atop easily. However, try as she might, she could not see through it. With a huff she sat back down and closed her eyes.
“May I please wake up now?” she asked in frustration.
/////
“Please do, Takamina,” a gentle voice said beside her, and Minami awoke with a start to find she was in a van, seated next to Haruna.
“Where am I?” she asked groggily, sitting upright.
“We’re in a van, on the way back to the theater after a no3b event.”
“Huh?”
Seeing that Minami was still confused, Haruna pointed to a spot on her shirt. “You were talking in your sleep, and you were beginning to drool. I’d rather you didn’t drool on my blouse.”
Minami looked up to see that despite her scolding words, Haruna was smiling kindly. “Sorry, Kojiharu. And thanks for letting me sleep on your shoulder.”
“Don’t worry about it,” Haruna replied with a light laugh. “Strange dream?”
“Probably,” Miichan piped in from behind them, her head appearing over the backs of their seats. “The same thing happened a little while ago, when I’d spent the night at her house. When she woke up she couldn’t even remember why I was there.”
Haruna turned to Minami with her brow raised in curiosity. “Care to share?”
“Not really, no.”
Disappointed that Minami was being so reserved, Haruna smirked before resting her hand atop Minami’s head. Closing her eyes for a moment, she opened them again with a grin. “I saw it!” she exclaimed, earning a glare from one Minami and a laugh from the other.
“Knock it off,” Minami said, swiping Haruna’s hand away. “You want me to tell you what’s wrong, but this is exactly why I can’t hold a serious conversation with either of you, not to mention both of you together.”
“Relax, Captain,” Miichan drawled, grasping Minami’s shoulders. “We’re just poking a little fun. C’mon, now; you just admitted there’s something wrong, so you might as well tell us. I mean, if you can’t tell us, then who can you tell?”
Minami glanced between Miichan and Haruna and sighed. The youngest no3b member was right. Miichan was at the top of her of list of people that she could be open with, and Haruna was not far behind. Shifting in her seat, Minami settled her gaze on the headrest in front of her as she spoke.
“I’ve been having weird dreams lately.”
“Tell us something we don’t know,” Miichan teased, earning a smack in the arm from Haruna.
“There’s not much to say. I’m in the middle of nowhere, darkness all around. In the first dream there was nothing but a faint light, so I began walking towards it.”
Haruna and Miichan both stared at Minami, aghast.
“What?” Minami grunted.
“Takamina!” Miichan exclaimed, shaking Minami by the shoulders. “Don’t you know? You should never walk towards the light! You should run away from it! Very, very quickly!”
“She’s right!” Haruna gasped, at the same time saving Minami from Miichan’s grasp. “We could have lost you!”
Minami scowled at their teasing, as if to say, ‘This is why I didn’t want to talk about it’.
Miichan, unhappy with Minami’s sudden silence, poked the distraught girl in the cheek. “What else, Takamina?”
“There was a flower. I don’t know what kind, I can’t see it, but I know it’s a flower. I picked it up and carried it with me.” Minami heaved a sigh and continued. “In the first dream I never made it to the light, but in the dream just now, I did.”
“I’m glad to see you’re still with us,” Miichan mumbled, earning a glare from Minami and a giggle from Haruna.
“And?” Haruna asked, prodding Minami to continue.
Minami sighed. “The light was streaming through a window, though how there was a window, I don’t know. And there was a chair. It was warm.”
“How so?” Haruna prodded her again, genuinely intrigued.
“Almost like-” Minami began, trailing off in mild shock.
“Almost like?” Miichan repeated.
“Almost like… someone had been waiting in it,” Minami whispered, only just now realizing the cause. Miichan and Haruna shared quick glances. It was obvious to them that Minami had not wanted to continue any further. Still, it certainly was a strange dream, and both of them were eager to hear more about it.
_ _ _
///“How about a movie?”
“I don’t know, Atsuko, it’s kind of late.”
“Please?”///
Minami glanced at the girl sleeping peacefully beside her. They were seated in the back of a cab on the way home to Atsuko’s house, having left the movie theater not too long ago. (Always see Atsuko home first; it was a part of Minami’s chivalrous side that she never failed to execute.) Atsuko had rested her head on Minami’s shoulder and within minutes had fallen asleep. Minami always is the best pillow, after all; Atsuko would swear by that fact.
The slumbering idol had called Minami a few hours ago, insisting that the two go out to catch one of the film industry’s latest releases. The film was rather mediocre and a bit predictable, Minami felt, but Atsuko had been smiling the entire time. Minami eventually found it more interesting to watch Atsuko’s reactions instead of the film. Now she sat watching Atsuko’s slumbering face. As busy as she was, Atsuko had been adamant about going out tonight with Minami; she simply wouldn’t take no for an answer. Her schedule was obviously taking a toll on her, and Minami was both a bit disappointed and honored that the other idol was risking her health to be with her.
As the cab rounded a corner Atsuko mumbled something in her sleep.
“What was that, Atsuko?”
The sleeping Atsuko made no reply, but…
//“This was fun, like a date.”//
Minami gulped nervously, suddenly remembering Atsuko’s words from right after the film had ended. They had been outside, idly spending time with each other while waiting for a vacant cab. Atsuko had saddled up to her, taken her hand, and with a bright smile (too bright for that time of night)…
//“This was fun, like a date.”//
Minami felt her face grow red as the words repeated in her mind. How was tonight different from any of the other times they had gone to see a film together? The cab hit a bump and Minami lifted an arm to brace the sleeping beauty beside her. Atsuko’s head began to slip so Minami gently guided it from her shoulder to her lap.
//“You know, Minami…”A hesitant whisper.
“Hmm? What is it?” A curious pout.
“No, it’s nothing.” A cowardly shake of the head.
“Aww, c’mon, Atsuko, that’s not fair! What were you going to say?” A grasp of the hand.
“Well, it’s kind of silly.” A small, embarrassed blush.
“Try me.” A serious expression.
“Sometimes I feel like we’ll be together forever.”//
Minami absentmindedly stroked her fingers through Atsuko’s hair.
“Forever, huh?” she thought, gazing down at her friend. It’d be nice if there were such a possibility. As she studied Atsuko’s face a warm smile crept upon her lips. “You’re most beautiful when you sleep, Atsuko,” she whispered, sighing contently.
Wait… (A pause.)
What? (A blush.)
Beautiful? Well, sure, yeah, Atsuko certainly is beautiful, but I think all the others are too…
Wait, why is my heart beating like this? It’s just like when we were spying on-
“Minami, are you feeling alright?”
“Eh?” Minami squeaked, jumping in her seat as best she could while wearing a seat belt.
“You were making a lot of silly faces,” Atsuko continued as she sat up drowsily. “Are you okay?”
“Oh, yeah, sure. I’m fine. Just fine.” Minami blabbered, earning disbelieving looks from both Atsuko and the cab driver. “Umm…” She gulped nervously. “Acchan, h-how long have you’ve been awake?”
“About half a minute. Minami, you’re rambling. Are you sure you feel fine?” Atsuko gently touched her forehead to Minami’s, earning a gasp from the short-statured idol.
Why is my stomach suddenly full of butterflies?
“You don’t seem to have a fever,” Atsuko said with a sigh of relief. “I’d feel horrible if you’d wound up sick because of my selfish request.”
Oh, no; Atsuko’s feeling guilty. I have to do something, quick.
Wait, why do I have to do something?
Because she’s my friend, and I don’t want her to be sad.
Right; she’s my friend.
“Don’t worry, Acchan; I feel fine, really,” Minami assured her with a sheepish smile. “There’s nothing to feel guilty about. Even if we hadn’t gone to that movie I would probably be up this late anyways. Honestly, I’m more worried about you.”
Atsuko clasped her hands together and stared down at them in her lap. “Even so, I was still being selfish. It’s just that…”
Ah, crap, Minami thought, panicking as she stared at Atsuko. Those are tears. She’s about to cry. What do I do? I can’t handle crying people…
“It’s just that, I’m going to be really busy with filming soon and no3b just released a single so your schedule will get busier so I wanted to spend one last evening with you while I could a-and-”
“Atsuko.” Minami whispered her friend’s name as she reached out to embrace the about-to-cry woman. “There’s nothing wrong with being selfish from time to time. You can always be selfish around me. I like the selfish Atsuko.”
Atsuko gave a small laugh as she wiped at her eyes. The cab pulled up in front of Atsuko’s house then, and Minami quickly escorted her out of the cab to her door. Seeing Atsuko successfully unlock her door, Minami said a quick goodbye and turned on her heels. Walking back to the cab, she paused when she heard Atsuko call out to her.
“Thank you, Minami. I love you, really.”
“Heh, I know,” she replied with a small wave. “You tell me that all the time.” But this is the first time my heart has skipped a beat because of it.
_ _ _ _ _
As easily as Minami and Atsuko had grown close, they also grew distant. Each had a growing career, and as Minami appeared as a guest on more television shows and Atsuko landed roles in more movies and dramas, they soon lost time for each other. Mails were shared and phone calls made, but there was a difference between such contact and being with someone in person.
_ _ _ _ _
Minami hummed quietly on her walk down the hallway, practice having ended not long ago. It was a song that seemed to always make its way into her head over the years, but most especially of late. Having walked the path thousands of times she walked on auto-pilot, not really paying much attention to her surroundings, a reflex which allowed her thoughts to wander.
Today’s practice had been another success. The newer members continued to try their hardest and the veteran members ‘kept up the good work’. Minami spent most of the practice watching the others, stepping in to help out where needed. From time to time she caught herself spacing out, remembering old times with the others, both good and bad.
The first time Acchan and she danced next to each other…
The time that Meetan successfully harassed every member in the span of one rehearsal…
The time that Yuko tried (and failed) to do the same…
The first time that she heard their single on the radio, the experience filling her body with euphoria. She was one step closer to her dream…
The time Acchan slipped and fell during the middle of their routine. Minami had been the first to reach her side, and Acchan had thankfully stood up laughing with little more than a bruised rear-end.
The time Mariko finally joined the group, fitting in with the others seamlessly. Minami was relieved to know that she had worried for no reason…
The time that she consoled Amina after the girl’s disappointment with the Iiwake Maybe video. (The girl deserved more than she received, and Minami hoped to convey that. It may have been a small mistake on her part, though, as Amina seemed to have fallen in love with her after the fact.)
The time that Haruna pulled her aside to confide in her…
The time that she consoled Akicha…
…and Tomochin…
…and Maachan…
…and Acchan. (Here, Minami smiled unknowingly.) Always Acchan…
(Okay, so she did a lot of consoling. That was one of the responsibilities of being a captain, was it not? Even though she found herself consoling members from all of the teams, not just Team A.)
The time that Acchan led her by the hand (and every time after)…
The times she argued with Myao…
(This thought brought a frown to her face, but it was quickly replaced with a smile.)
The time that Miichan fell asleep in the middle of rehearsal, standing with her eyes wide open…
The time that Tomochin attempted to give her a complete fashion makeover… and failed…
The multiple times the group learned about overseas performances…
The first time Accchan hugged her (and every time after)…
And then it dawned on her:
Most of her fond memories involved Atsuko.
I miss her, Minami thought, pausing a moment as she rounded the corner and approached the stairwell. I miss Atsuko.
Atsuko had grown busier lately with her drama schedules and the two had not had much time to spend together. Minami was not lonely; she continually hung out with the others, particularly Miichan. In the end, though, it was hard to ignore the fact that the girl she had grown used to seeing nearly every day was no longer hers to see. Acchan was moving on with her dream, and Minami was still here in the halls of AKB, a place she undoubtedly loved. She was also busy, turning down Miichan’s invitation to dinner tonight in hopes of gaining a couple extra hours of sleep.
Just then the sound of mumbling and a door slowly shutting reached Minami’s ears and she slowed down, approaching the bottom of the stairwell cautiously. Her humming dwindled as quickly as her nerves.
I spaced off again.
“Hello?” she called out hesitantly, stepping down from the last step. “Is somebody there?”
There were more muffled whisperings and Minami gulped as she slowly took a few more steps down the hallway. Opening her mouth to speak again, she jumped in surprise when the door she passed flew open. In the next instant she was pulled into a small practice room, her mouth covered by her abductor’s hand.
Beginning to panic, Minami took a moment to calm down and ponder her situation. The hold was by no means romantic, but it was strong and protective. Most importantly, it was familiar. I know this embrace, these strong arms. Minami relaxed into the person holding her and her suspicions were confirmed when she heard a familiar voice.
“You recognized me, huh?” the captor said, releasing her grip on Minami.
“It wasn’t hard to figure out,” Minami replied, turning to face the Team K captain.
“Nice song you were humming there, by the way. It’s one of my favorites,” Sayaka complimented before singing. “Hajimete kimi to…” ++
Minami’s eyes narrowed menacingly, ceasing Sayaka’s singing prematurely. “Why did you drag me in here like that?” she asked, not letting Sayaka stray from the matter at hand.
The older girl grinned mischievously. “I’m kidnapping you.”
“Eh?!” Minami gasped, her eyes bulging incredulously. “Why?”
Sayaka crossed her arms and looked down at Minami. “The answer to that is because somebody,” here she paused to indicate Minami with a fierce stare, causing the shorter girl to gulp involuntarily, “turned down Miichan’s invitation, so now I have to do things the hard way.”
“What?”
“You’ll see. Let’s go,” Sayaka instructed, placing her hands on Minami’s shoulders and turning the short girl around, pushing her back through the door from which they’d come. “Forward, march!”
_
“Surprise!”
A chorus of voices greeted Minami as she and Sayaka stepped into a private room at a restaurant the group frequently patronized.
“What’s this for?” Minami gasped in disbelief, facing the whole of Team K before her.
Sayaka stepped up beside her and led her to an empty seat in the middle of the group. “This is Team K’s thank you to you, Takamina. You’ve done a lot over the past few years for the better of AKB as a whole, not just for you or Team A. We wanted to say thank you so we’ve thrown this party.”
“Oh, I see,” Minami muttered, still in shock as she took in the familiar faces surrounding her. “Wait, why is Paru here?” she asked, seeing Haruna standing at Yuko’s side.
“Eh, just ignore her presence,” Miichan said, answering Haruna’s pout with a teasing smile. “She and Yuko are kind of like a two-for-one.”
“Oh,” Minami replied as she finally sat down, not quite comprehending the answer.
“Am I late?” a voice asked melodically from the doorway and Minami instantly turned to see Atsuko standing there with a warm smile.
“Atsuko…” The name escaped her lips as Minami stared at her friend, her voice barely above a whisper.
“Acchan! Just in time!” Sae shouted excitedly, rushing over and guiding Atsuko to sit beside Minami. “We were afraid you wouldn’t make it!”
“I wouldn’t dare miss this.”
Minami blinked at the sight of the girl next to her in confusion. “First Kojiharu, and now Acchan? I thought this was a Team K thank you party.”
“Huh?” Sayaka grunted with her classic gorilla expression. “You don’t know?”
Minami shook her head. “Know what?”
“It’s kind of like an unwritten rule in AKB,” Tomochin offered with a sly smile, stepping behind Minami and resting her hand on Minami’s shoulder.
“What is?” Minami asked, only growing more confused as she saw Atsuko look away from her with a small laugh, albeit red-faced.
“Where there is Takamina, there shall also be Acchan,” Yuko declared dramatically, a wide grin on her face.
“Or something like that,” Sayaka stated, wincing as she watched Haruna smack Yuko in the back of the head. “Besides, she’s also done quite a lot for the benefit of the whole group.”
“Should we ask her to leave?” Umechan asked with a devilish grin.
“N-no!” Minami shouted, half-rising from her seat, and the others paused and stared at her in silence. “I-I mean, she’s here now, so she might as well stay, right?” With a hand behind her head, Minami smiled sheepishly in an attempt to mask her outburst. Somehow her face grew even redder as she heard a slight giggle from beside her.
“Oh, c’mon, Bakamina! Just admit that you miss her already!” Miichan shouted, rolling her eyes at Minami’s classic failure behavior.
The others’ laughter filled the room, and Minami sat back down in embarrassment. Minami was not the only one growing red at this point, and Atsuko had long since given up trying to hide her face from the others.
“Alright, that’s enough teasing.” Minami glanced up to see Tomochin stepping into the role of savior and gave the young woman that was one of her best friends a thankful smile. “We invited her here to thank her, not to tease her.”
Sayaka nodded a confirmation. “She’s right; let’s show the midget captain how we say thank you, Team K style!”
“Here here!”
“Long live Takamina!”
“Woohoo! I’m singing first!” Ucchii shouted as she ran to the karaoke machine, having beaten Ayarin, Tanamin, and Reinyan in janken.
As the festivities began, Minami couldn’t help but to feel happiness from the image before her. The room was filled with smiles and cheering, and each member took the time to stop by and say their thanks. Feeling a hand on hers, Minami turned to find Atsuko smiling at her, the other girl enjoying the party as much as anyone.
“I missed you too,” Acchan whispered, her breath tickling Minami’s ear. The sensation brought a bright blush to Minami’s cheeks.
“Hey, Takamina-san, you’re up!” Moeno called from across the room, where Micha and Sakippe had just finished singing.
“R-right!” Minami shouted, standing up as she felt Atsuko give her hand a small squeeze.
What’s wrong with me? she thought as she walked over to the karaoke machine, her heart beating quickly. “Th-thanks,” she stuttered as a smirking Yui stooped to retrieve the microphone.
“What would you like to sing?” Yonechan asked her, having taken over the job of manning the selection system. Tomochan sat beside her, scanning the options diligently.
“Eh?” Minami squeaked, caught off guard for the second time that night, having been lost in her thoughts yet again. “Umm… surprise me, I guess?”
“Ooh, let me, I’ll pick for her!” Miichan shouted, running across the room and quickly making a selection. Seeing the information on the screen, Yuko and Sayaka sent Miichan approving nods.
Gripping the microphone and not quite understanding what she was feeling as she stood there looking over her friends (her gaze lingering on a certain member), Minami began the song expertly.
“Kore kara donna mirai ga matte itemo You & I boku wa kimi wo hanasanai…”****
End Chapter 1, Part 4
**** “YOU & I,” copyright Shimizu Shota and Mastersix Foundation. Released January 26, 2011. The opening lines (repeated in the song) were used in this chapter. “What kind of future is waiting for us after this? You and I, I won't let you go.”
++Again, this song's legal information will be shared at a later point.
Woohoo! An update! Although it's a bit shorter than the previous parts, but... I did say that it would be. Hopefully this part has helped to convince the doubters that this story is, indeed, an Atsumina story.
The sequence of memories that Takamina remembers are a mix of fictional happenings imagined by yours truly and real incidents that I learned about in my research. Also, I'd like to state that I don't have anything against Myao; I needed a minor antagonist for a couple parts, so I decided to play off the rumored animosity between Myao and Takamina. There have only been a couple hints thus far, but in the next part it's more prominent, so I felt that I should put out a little disclaimer.
Also, in regard to the Team K scene, I apologize if I offended anyone. Regrettably, I don't know much about all of the members, so if I portrayed them in what you deemed to be a blasphemous manner then again, I apologize. I meant no harm by it. Also, I know that Yonechan is (sadly) no longer in AKB, but at the point in the story's timeline at which that scene took place she was still a member.
As for the next update, as stated before, I'd like to write more of the story before updating (in a mediocre attempt to not use up what I have completed too quickly.) Chapter 1 only has one more part, and while it is rather short compared to all the others, it is arguably one of the most important.
I hope that you've all enjoyed the story thus far.
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atsumina so cute... come minami make your wifey happy ok :D
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:thumbup
AtsuMina!!!!!
Thank you for your update!
ArígatoU! :kneelbow:
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I really like how you're fitting your story into an actual timeline, I don't know it has a sense of realism.
Always looking forward to updates~ :thumbup
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This is getting really good.
I'm usually too lazy to comment but I can't wait for your next update.
Thanks!
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Great end of chapter and Team K FTW! Good job!
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ehem. Hitobo-san.
PLEASE UPDATE! :lol:
To be honest, I've been supporting you since the start of this Fic. but I've been lurking in the shadows. Gomen! :nervous
I need some Atsumina loving :)
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:farofflook:
:) :) :) :) atsumina :) :) :) :)
:bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: w8t for the nxt update!! :)
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@Haruko: I'm glad that you're enjoying the story.
@Megumi: You're welcome! Thanks for reading.
@Kid_Alpha: As stated before, a more realistic story is what I was aiming for, so I'm glad the format has been successful so far. Thanks for appreciating that aspect (and for reading).
@staringatme: Wow. I'm honored that my story has drawn you out of the shadows; I feel a bit pressured now! I hope that you won't be disappointed with future updates.
@kahem: Lol, thanks!
@hott3stson3: Don't worry, I'll update soon. Thanks for your support thus far.
@saeyukilover: The next update will come, I promise!
To all readers:
Thank you for reading my story thus far. Fear not: I've not abandoned all of you or the story.
Actually, while re-reading what I have completed I discovered a rather serious flaw, and it's something that has proven difficult to correct. Unfortunately, it deals with Chapter 1 Part 5 (I said it was an important part!), so I can't post more just yet. Please be patient just a bit longer; I do hope to update soon.
Thank you for all of your support!
Until the next update,
Hitobo
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Chapter 1 Part 5, as promised.
Disclaimer: As stated in my ending notes last time, I have nothing against Myao. I needed an antagonist so I decided to play off the rumored animosity between her and Takamina.
//What’s wrong with me?// she thought as she walked over to the karaoke machine, her heart beating quickly. “Th-thanks,” she stuttered as a smirking Yui stooped to retrieve the microphone.
“What would you like to sing?” Yonechan asked her, having taken over the job of manning the selection system. Tomochan sat beside her, scanning the options diligently.
“Eh?” Minami squeaked, caught off guard for the second time that night, having been lost in her thoughts yet again. “Umm… surprise me, I guess?”
“Ooh, let me, I’ll pick for her!” Miichan shouted, running across the room and quickly making a selection. Seeing the information on the screen, Yuko and Sayaka sent Miichan approving nods.
Gripping the microphone and not quite understanding what she was feeling as she stood there looking over her friends (her gaze lingering on a certain member), Minami began the song expertly.
//“Kore kara donna mirai ga matte itemo You & I boku wa kimi wo hanasa nai…"//
Portraits
An AKB48 Fan Fiction
Chapter 1, Part 5 (Chapter End)
_ _ _
[I have a meeting with Aki-P today. Want to catch lunch afterwards? I don’t mind staying to watch rehearsal, especially if it means I get to watch you.]
Minami blushed as she read Atsuko’s mail. It was a typical, teasing Atsuko message; there was nothing apparently special about it. Yet as Minami read it over again, she couldn’t help but to feel embarrassed. She found certain happiness in Atsuko’s words. Whether or not the other idol really meant it, Minami was touched by Atsuko’s admission of being happy to watch her.
However, this latest mail wasn’t the only one to elicit certain reactions from Minami. She realized that for a few months now, she’d been reacting oddly to anything pertaining to Atsuko. If asked to pinpoint when, her guess would be ever since their movie ‘date’ not long ago. But then again, there had been that time when they had been spying on a certain couple, and her heart had suddenly started racing.
(She blushed brighter now, remembering the feel of Atsuko’s breath on her face.)
My strange behavior may have started even before then, she thought, as a distant memory of one of Acchan’s past birthday gifts to her drifted to mind.
Minami realized that Atsuko’s presence now had a profound impact on her. Her heart would race whenever Atsuko was near (which, lately, was not often). Her stomach would sometimes fill with butterflies. What frightened Minami the most, however, were the touches. Lately she had come to relax under Atsuko’s over-affections, and it occurred to her that she missed the feel of Atsuko’s arms in a tight hug around her.
Last week, while en route to a no3b event, Miichan had caught her staring at an advertisement that featured Atsuko.
// “Like what you see, Takamina?” Miichan had asked teasingly.
“I miss her.”
“Eh?” The sound was drawn out as Miichan’s eyes narrowed in curiosity. “You just saw her not long ago.”
“I know, but I…” Minami hesitated to elaborate.
“Go on… I’m all ears.”
The huge, Cheshire cat grin on Miichan’s face was a bit alarming, but Minami decided to relieve the growing burden from her shoulders. “Whenever I’m with Acchan lately, I feel…odd,” she admitted with a sigh.
“Oh?” Miichan asked in piqued interest. “Define odd.”
“Well… my heart starts racing, my stomach churns, and I feel really warm. All that I can think is that I’m getting sick, but then it only ever happens around Acchan.”
A triumphant laugh escaped Miichan’s lips as she patted Minami’s back. “Well it’s about damn time!”
“Huh?”
“It seems that you two not seeing each other as often has proven useful after all. Don’t worry, Takamina. You’re not sick or anything.”
“If I’m not sick then what’s wrong with me?”
“It’s not my place to tell you,” Miichan stated, shrugging. “Try putting down the shounen manga and read a little shoujo for once. Then you might understand.”//
Minami had only needed to read the summaries on the back of a few volumes to ascertain what Miichan had been hinting to her. Half a year ago she would have thought that the younger girl was imagining things. But now, she wasn’t so sure. As she reread the message she’d just received, Minami couldn’t help but wonder if maybe Miichan was correct.
What I’m feeling… could it really be… love?
Minami shook her head forcefully.
That’s impossible. I swore not to fall in love; to put my career first. There's no way that I fell in love.
Grabbing her bag from beside the door, Minami stole one last glance at the message before she sent a quick, affirmative reply on her way out. She easily cast aside the [crazy] idea that she was in love with her friend. What they had already was special enough, and she did not want such strange thoughts to jeopardize their bond.
I’m not in love with Acchan; she’s my best friend, that’s all. I’m not in love with Acchan…
That one line repeated through Minami’s head on her way to the station. Atsuko was her best friend, and that was the extent of Minami’s love. That’s all there was to it. For Minami, AKB would always come first.
For Minami, it seemed impossible that Atsuko could ever love her, anyways.
_
“You just don’t get it, do you? And you never will!” Atsuko yelled, and Minami was stunned to see tears in her eyes.
“Get what?” You’re not making any sense, the way you keep switching between those two and graduation! “What did I do now?” Minami panicked as Atsuko tried to pull free of her grasp.
“Please… just let go of me!” The emotion behind Atsuko’s words was enough to stun Minami, allowing Atsuko the chance she needed to break free.
“Wait, Acchan, where are you going?” Never before had Atsuko acted this way towards her, and Minami could only watch helplessly as Atsuko fled out the door and down the hallway. “Atsuko!” she called out, and the others present looked on as Minami reached a hand out to Atsuko’s fleeing form. “Atsuko!”
She ran to the doorway then, yelling at her still fleeing friend.
“Atsuko, please, don’t leave AKB!” Minami sank to the ground, tears filling her eyes as some of the other members gathered at the doorway. However, one look from the little captain was enough to send most of them away.
Minami closed her eyes tightly. It was what she had always done when bad things happened, and this most certainly qualified as bad. Then she took a deep breath and held it, waiting hopefully for Atsuko to return. Sure enough, Atsuko trudged back around the corner, her arm before her eyes, hiding her tears.
“Atsuko,” Minami whispered with a weak smile.
Then she opened her eyes and was faced with the brutal reality that Atsuko was indeed gone.
“Atsuko, please… don’t leave me.” Though barely above a whisper, the words expressed the honest feelings that Minami could not bring herself to admit.
There was a laugh then, and a pestering voice called out behind her.
“‘Don’t leave AKB Acchan! It’s me that should be graduating, not you!’ ”
Minami stood up and scowled at the girl that had mocked her. “I’m not in the mood to put up with you right now, Miyazaki.”
“But it’s true, isn’t it?” Miho asserted with a smirk. “Even though she’s hardly done anything with AKB lately, she still remains super popular. Yet you, who puts AKB before all else, always fail to rise in rank. If anything, it should be you that graduates, not Maeda.”
Though said spitefully, it was a fact which Minami could not ignore, and a small shadow of doubt flashed across her features.
“Do you think I don’t know that?” Minami barked.
“Then why don’t you?” Miho asked, egging her on. “One of these days, Captain, you’ll come to realize that your reign is over, and that it’s time to move on.”
Despite her inner conscience yelling at her, in her depraved state Minami could not help but snap back at Miho. “You’re one to talk; your rank keeps dropping too, you know.”
“Yes, but I’m younger than you; I still have years to go. And with you and Maeda out of the picture-”
“Acchan is not leaving,” Minami growled, her eyes narrowing menacingly, yet her voice betrayed a lack of belief in what she said.
Miho was unfazed. “Stop kidding yourself. She’s too successful as an actress and singer to not graduate soon.” Before Minami could reply a new voice interrupted them.
“That’s enough, Myao.” This new voice was cool, commanding, and a bit condescending, and Minami sighed in relief. “Team B is done for the day; why don’t you go home now?”
Miho rolled her eyes but reluctantly obliged. Minami watched in contempt as she disappeared down the hall.
“Anything you want to talk about?” Mariko asked beside Minami, who only replied with a shake of her head. “Shouldn’t you have gone after her?”
“No,” Minami said coolly. “You said it yourself; rehearsal is starting again soon.”
“And Acchan?”
“Was only here for a meeting. She doesn’t need to be at the rehearsal.” It is true that she never does much with the group anymore.
Mariko crossed her arms. “You may not like it, but Myao was right. You put AKB before everything, Takamina. Even the people you care about, and the people that care about you.”
Minami stared up at Mariko. Though her savior, the older girl was quickly growing on her already frayed nerves. She was in no mood to receive a lecture. “The people I care about are in AKB.”
“Exactly. They’re not AKB, they’re in AKB.”
“Is there a point you’re trying to make?” Minami asked with a huff.
Mariko stared down at Minami, her face relaying the seriousness behind her words. “We’re all only human, Takamina. Just once, you ought to put AKB on the back burner and try putting yourself and your friends first.”
“I’ll think about it,” Minami grunted. “For now, let’s go start rehearsal.”
Minami had tried to mask the sadness in her voice, but Mariko could tell that Atsuko’s leaving had indeed upset the younger girl. As Minami stepped towards the doorway Mariko sighed resignedly and reached out with a slender arm, pulling Minami into a consoling hug. The kind touch was all that was needed for Minami to finally lose control of her emotions and her tears.
“I don’t want her to go,” Minami cried. My chest hurts just thinking about it.
“I know,” Mariko said, patting Minami’s head soothingly. The younger girl spoke again between sobs.
“How much… do you… really know?”
“More than you think. Don’t worry; she won’t graduate.”
“She said herself that… she thinks… she’ll graduate.”
Mariko smirked. “That was a bluff. Acchan has a very good reason to stay in AKB. For a little while longer, at least.”
“And what reason is that?” Minami asked, her face still buried in Mariko’s shoulder.
Mariko gave a small shake of her head. “It’s not something that I should be the one to tell you. You need to hear it from Acchan herself. All I can say is that before she would ever seriously consider graduating, there’s a question that she needs answered.” Mariko’s voice was full of kindness and understanding, and Minami was grateful for her friend’s mature insight. Despite not knowing Atsuko’s reason, Minami couldn’t help but to smile hearing someone confidently say that Atsuko would not be leaving so suddenly. A few moments later she stepped away from Mariko thankfully and walked through the doors to the studio with a renewed hope.
Atsuko, when you’re ready to, come tell me what’s troubling you. But hurry… I miss you already.
I…
I don’t feel right without you by my side.
End Chapter 1, Part 5 (Chapter Complete)
Phew. I'm not completely satisfied with it (I never will be; that's just how I am as a writer), but I think I've properly fixed things. You'd be amazed at how simply changing one word in a scene can have such a huge impact on the entire story. (I did have to change more than one word, mind you.)
Super short, yes; it was originally in Part 4, and I'm not entirely sure why I ever separated it, to be honest. It worked out though, seeing as how I had to make corrections.
Up next: Chapter 2, Part 1
Until then.
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:wub: :wub:
I love this part!
I understand that minami feel sad... (all feel the same respect atsuko graduation)
please continue !!
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Amazing as always but I feel a little bad because I'm a Myao's oshi ^^ and she is like a student to Takamina, when she was still in team A at least ^^ anyway, this is just a fanfic so I don't really mind, just a little rambling to boast about my oshimen lol
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Wo Myao don't turn around and say thing straight xD
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OMG!!! again i feel takamina´s pain in my chest T_T .. be strong minami!! i support atsumina!
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I can see why you're unsatisfied with this part of the chapter, it does seem a little rushed but I guess it can't be helped if you had to change a few things for it to fit within your plotline.
Still enjoyable read and looking forward to see what happens next.
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@Minami-chan: Thank you very much! I'm glad you liked it.
@Tejinashi: Amazing? Wow; thank you. I like Myao, so boast away! Will we see her again?
@kahem: Lol, Myao, just tellin' it how it is.
@Haruko: Thanks for your enthusiasm, yet again!
@Kid_Alpha: Oh, no; was it really that noticeable? :sweatdrop: I needed a filler scene where Minami kind of acknowledges her feelings, but I wrote that first scene in about 30 minutes, as opposed to the hours (sometimes days) that it usually takes me to write a scene. If the second scene seemed rushed, it'll make more sense when I post the end of Chapter 2. Hang tight, and thanks for reading!
To all readers:
Thank you everybody for reading!
I write rather slowly, but I do intend to update soon. I'm just easily distracted. I sit down to write and a video game controller finds its way into my hands, lol. I also have stories in other fandoms that I'm writing, so I can't devote all of my time to any one story.
Chapter 2 is complete, so I'll post Part 1 when I feel I've written enough to compensate for doing so.
Also, don't hesitate to ask questions; I'll answer them as best I can without giving away spoilers.
Until then,
Hitobo
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So... what happened? You'll have to wait and see, because true to m-flo fashion, it's time to Reeewind.
Atsuko, when you’re ready to, come tell me what’s troubling you. But hurry… I miss you already.
I…
I don’t feel right without you by my side.
Portraits
An AKB48 Fan Fiction
Chapter 2, Part 1
_ _ _ _ _
It is said that every little girl dreams of falling in love. Maeda Atsuko was no exception to the desires for holding hands and passionate kisses. And, like every other girl, she also dreamed of stardom.
Surprisingly, the latter dream would be fulfilled more easily than the first.
When she first joined AKB, Atsuko would have sworn that she knew what real love was. After all, it was the subject of nearly all their songs, and she was mature enough to know that their physical appeal helped to sell their merchandise. The group’s policies restricted the girls from having romantic relationships, an ideal which, despite her natural yearnings, Atsuko had agreed to without a second thought. However, though confident she knew what love was, she was yet to experience it, and it wasn’t on her mind. She took love for granted, figuring that she’d get married eventually.
However, Atsuko’s heart had different plans, and when a second wave of members was chosen, she had joined.
She was older, a bit of a tomboy, and had a playful atmosphere about her. Atsuko admired her; due to previous work, the older girl already had the air of an idol, something which everyone in the group respected and desired. She was friendly, and the other members found her antics amusing. After some time, Atsuko caught herself observing the girl from afar. She was happy to catch a glimpse of the girl’s smile or watch her dance her hardest.
_ _ _ _ _
Atsuko watched the girl across the room move through the choreography with ease. She wondered how many times now she had caught herself watching the other idol. When she smiled, Atsuko smiled. (If she were to frown, Atsuko would probably also frown, but that was something which, thankfully, Atsuko had yet to witness.) Yet those smiles were never directed at Atsuko, and she couldn’t help but to feel a bit saddened by the fact. She couldn’t quite pinpoint the feeling in her gut when she watched a certain girl being ‘friendly’ with other members.
And then one day Atsuko gathered the courage to say hello, and the girl’s smile was directed at her as a response. She felt her heart jump and her face heat up, and she was glad that she had made the greeting simply in passing. Excusing herself from the rehearsal hall, she hurried to the restroom, passing by a few curious members. Once there she rinsed her face, hoping to cool down the sensation she felt. Looking at her reflection, Atsuko was startled by a sudden revelation.
For the first time in her life, Atsuko began to wonder if what she was experiencing was that which she read about in manga and novels: love.
That can’t be. Another member? But...
From that point on, she caught herself doing little things that allowed her to be closer to the person she liked. She stayed late at rehearsals just to watch her practice. She sat next to her during their late night game show, allowing her the chance to latch onto the girl’s arm and chat with her excitedly. A few times she had even grasped the girl’s hand and a warm, tingly sensation had coursed through her.
Whether or not this was really love, or perhaps just a simple crush that would soon pass over, Atsuko was not sure. One thing she did know was that she felt her heart growing fonder of the older girl each day.
_ _ _ _ _
Nearly one year after the group started, Atsuko spoke casually for the first time with the girl that would eventually become her dearest friend in AKB. They had absolutely nothing in common aside from their work. (Both of them would later state their beliefs that they would never have become friends in a different setting, and thus were even more grateful for having joined AKB48.) This girl was also a bit tomboyish, chivalrous even; gruff in manner but hiding a rather feminine side. It was this girl that Atsuko would eventually trust with her very life, and it was this girl that, after nearly a year’s friendship, she had first told about what she believed was a serious crush.
_ _ _ _ _
Atsuko paced in the corner of the dance hall debating whether or not she could confide in Minami. The two had quickly become close friends, had been so for over a year now, and what Atsuko had to confide in her was something that could ruin that friendship. But Atsuko felt comfortable around Minami; the other idol was someone in whom Atsuko saw great leadership potential.
And having great leadership potential meant that she would be more understanding, right?
I can trust Minami, right? she thought, casting a nervous glance at the girl guzzling down water not far away.
Yes, I can, she concluded with a firm nod, smiling when Minami looked her way. She slowly made her way to Minami’s side, determined to share her secret.
Besides, she had to tell somebody, anybody, before she burst. She’d been keeping this a secret for too long.
“Say, Minami…” Atsuko began hesitantly. The music had finally died down and everyone was busy running around preparing to go home. Atsuko waited a moment as Minami finished packing her bag and turned to her with her full attention.
“What’s up, Acchan?”
Atsuko bit her lip anxiously for a few seconds before she continued, the words escaping her lips quietly enough that only Minami standing right in front of her could hear.
“I think I like somebody… one of the other members.”
“Is that so?” Minami asked with the tilt of her head. “Well… I like all of them, so you have a bit of catching up to do.”
Rolling her eyes, Atsuko delivered a light jab to Minami’s shoulder. “You know very well that I like everyone here. What I meant was that… I like someone.”
There was a brief silence before Minami’s eyes lit in understanding. “Ooooh, you mean that kind of like. Sorry; Tomochin always tells me that I’m a bit slow when it comes to things like that. But, that’s good for you, Acchan. They say love is an important thing for a girl our age to experience.”
“Eh?” Atsuko squeaked, her eyes widening in surprise. “You’re okay with it? You don’t think it’s weird? I mean, I like another girl…” Atsuko asked in a bit of a panic.
“Nah. That’s what you’re worried about? Why would I think it’s weird?” Minami replied with a small laugh. In her current state, Atsuko didn’t notice the slight blush that crept onto Minami’s cheeks.
“Thank you, Minami!” Atsuko exclaimed, throwing her arms around the shorter girl. “I was worried about what you’d say, but I should have known that you would understand.”
“Want to walk out together?” Minami asked her, and Atsuko shook her head in reply as she released the grip she had on her friend. Racing to gather her belongings, Atsuko returned to Minami’s side a minute later, quickly claiming the other girl’s arm. The two quickly said their good byes to the others as they headed toward the door. “So…” Minami began teasingly. “Who’s the girl that managed to capture your attention?”
With a blush on her cheeks, Atsuko nodded towards one of the girls chatting animatedly in the corner of the rehearsal room. Minami responded with a small, surprised ‘oh,’ and the two continued on their way out of the studio, arms still linked together. Atsuko rested her head on Minami’s shoulder with a sigh, happy to finally be relieved of her burden.
After walking a few blocks from the theater Minami turned to face Atsuko with a shy smile. “Acchan, would you like to spend the night?”
Atsuko shook her head yes vigorously, ignorant of the fact that her heart leapt at the invitation.
_ _ _ _ _
Atsuko would soon learn that she was not alone in her predicament.
In becoming friends with Minami, Atsuko had automatically gained the friendship of Itano Tomomi, the girl that was arguably the member closest with Minami at the time Atsuko first met her. Atsuko had made a note of the dynamic relationship between the other two (often wondering if there was some truth to the teasing within the group), and had been a bit hesitant at first to become involved, but Minami had insisted that the three spend time together. In doing so, Tomomi and Atsuko also quickly grew to gain the status of being best friends.
Tomochin, as she was called, was everything that Minami was not, and Atsuko was glad to claim her as a friend. (Atsuko felt that her two friends were the best of both worlds, perhaps one of the reasons for their apparent compatibility.) While Minami was very dear to her, there were certain things which Atsuko learned were impossible to hold a proper conversation over with the girl. To discuss such matters, Atsuko needed, for lack of a better word, a ‘female’ friend, and she found such a treasure in Tomochin. (The first thing the two ever discussed alone had, in fact, been Minami’s inability to comprehend such matters.)
Left to their own devices, the two were an indestructible force of femininity. No page in a fashion magazine was left unturned, no information unabsorbed. No lip gloss overlooked, no nail salon passed up. And there was, of course, teenage angst and drama to be discussed, most of it happening within the confines of the group. (Atsuko had quickly discovered that Minami was not the type to gossip, but Tomochin had no such moral boundaries.)
Atsuko’s biggest dilemma at the time had been her ever increasing crush. Her daily experiences sometimes left her bursting at the seams, dying to tell someone what she felt. Minami was her only victim, the only one she could tell, and while Minami was a great listener, her vague responses left Atsuko wondering if the girl had really listened to anything she’d told her.
Again, enter Tomochin. It was Tomochin who would be the only other person that Atsuko would trust enough to tell about her crush, unexpectedly finding a comrade in matters of love.
_ _ _ _ _
“Tomochin, may I ask you a personal question?”
Tomochin looked over at her friend curiously and discovered Atsuko looking at her a bit nervously, biting her lower lip. They were browsing the products of one of their favorite cosmetics retailers, having already swept over the nail polish and since moved on to mascara. Shrugging, Tomochin turned back to the shelf before her, running her hand over the selection.
“Yeah, sure.” Whatever it was Atsuko wanted to know was obviously bugging her, and Tomochin was bored enough to find enjoyment in the peculiar request.
“You know how everybody teases you and Takamina about being a couple, how you’re the girl and she’s the boy, I, well…” Atsuko’s voice trailed off and she failed to notice the slight blush tainting Tomochin’s cheeks. Fiddling with her hands, Atsuko gave a frustrated huff and spat out what had been bothering her for some time now. “Is there some truth behind it? I mean… sometimes I really do feel like a third wheel when I’m with you two.”
Tomochin was now red as can be and Atsuko’s blunt questioning had caused her to drop what she was holding. Looking around her embarrassedly at the other patrons’ curious glances, Tomochin swore under her breath as she replaced the item to the shelf. Grabbing Atsuko’s hand, she led the confused girl to a more secluded area.
“Why do you want to know?” she asked, refusing to meet Atsuko’s gaze as she glared at the products before her, feigning indifference.
“Well… mostly because, depending on your answer, I might share a secret of my own with you.”
Tomochin grew stiff as she pondered the statement. Does she…? Shaking her head free from such thoughts, she relaxed her stance and turned to face Atsuko more directly. “Honestly, yes,” she sighed. “Though it’s pretty one-sided, and you know how dense she is when it comes to such things.”
“Eh? Really?” Atsuko squeaked, covering her mouth at the realization of her outburst. Withdrawing her hand a moment later she continued in a more whispered tone, “You really like her, as more than a friend?”
“Yes and no.”
“Huh?” Now Atsuko was more than confused, and Tomochin couldn’t help but to release a small laugh at the sight of her friend’s pouting face.
Tomochin then sighed again, resting her hand on the shelf before her. “There was a period when I really liked her,” she admitted, her face growing redder as certain memories flitted before her. “But… I think the emotions I feel towards her are fading.”
“Oh, no!” Atsuko gasped. “It’s my fault, isn’t it?” She sank to the ground slowly, her small outburst once again drawing the others’ attention. “You two were so close, and then I came along and broke up your alone time.”
“I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t true,” Tomochin stated with an accusatory tone, finding a bit of pleasure in watching Atsuko come to terms with her guilt. The faces the other girl was making would undoubtedly bring a smile to anyone’s lips.
“I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry! I’m so sorry!” Atsuko chanted, drawing even more curious stares as she knelt before Tomochin with her hands clasped before her, begging for forgiveness.
“Look, it’s alright, would you please just stand up and calm down?” Tomochin hissed, pulling on Atsuko’s shoulders as she glanced around with panic stricken eyes. Atsuko’s reaction had been more extreme than she’s expected.
After quickly brushing off her knees Atsuko stared at her friend in disbelief. “What do you mean it’s alright? I ruined your chances at a good relationship.”
“No,” Tomochin said sadly with a shake of her head. “While it’s true that your presence kept us from getting any closer, it only accelerated what was bound to happen eventually.” Seeing as Atsuko was still feeling guilty and a bit confused, Tomochin elaborated in a way as to place the blame elsewhere. She and Atsuko were close; Atsuko was dear to her, and she didn’t want the girl to always be in an apologetic state when around her. “Ever since no3b was formed, Takamina and I have been drifting more apart since we don’t see each other as often. And… I’m not really bothered about it. We’re still good friends.” Turning from her friend with a sigh, Tomochin quickly turned the corner to another aisle, Atsuko hot on her heels.
“I still don’t get it!” Atsuko whined, almost walking into Tomochin, who’d abruptly stopped. “If anything, Minami and I have grown closer since no3b was formed.”
There was a momentary silence before Tomochin heaved another sigh and turned to face her friend with a gentle smile, though her eyes held the slightest hint of tears. “Look, there’s nothing to get. Just don’t worry about it, okay? I’m not heartbroken or anything. It’s something I should have seen coming all along. I’m ready to move on.” Seeing Atsuko nod in understanding, Tomochin’s smile widened eagerly as she gave her friend a playful shove. I had my chance; I wasn’t fast enough. “Now then… I shared my secret, so it’s your turn.”
It was Atsuko that grew red this time, and she shyly turned away from Tomochin’s coy grin. “I have somebody I like, too. Somebody in the group.”
“And who, pray tell, has captured the heart of our ace?” Tomochin asked teasingly. With a small, nervous laugh, Atsuko leaned over to whisper the answer in her friend’s ear.
“Is that so?” Tomochin asked, earning a small, embarrassed nod from Atsuko. “Good for you. I wish you luck, though. She’s a bit of a flirt; you might lose her to someone else.”
The two spent another fifteen minutes in the store, selecting a myriad of products to purchase. Taking their respective bags from the cashier, the two left the store side by side, eager to move on to the next store. Pausing as they stepped outside, Tomochin lifted her face skyward to soak up a few precious rays of sun before turning to Acchan, whose smile was radiant in the afternoon glow.
“You know, Acchan, Minami’s always loved your smile,” she said, a thin smile gracing her own features.
“What does that have to do with anything?” Atsuko asked innocently from beside her.
Tomochin grinned. “Nothing; nothing at all. C’mon, I know a great ramen shop nearby.” She started towards her destination eagerly, dragging an apprehensive Atsuko behind her.
_ _ _ _ _
Of course, Minami and Tomochin were not Atsuko’s only friends in AKB48. Atsuko was surrounded by girls she called friends, people with whom she could take a break from the idol world. When together outside of work, they were able to talk and spend time together like normal teenage girls. Shopping, cafes, movies; the group of friends did everything together.
_ _ _ _ _
“Acchan, where are we going?” Minami asked. Her whining caused the two girls giggling before her to stop and turn around, facing her in disbelief.
“Have you not heard anything I said?” Atsuko asked, her voice relaying her disappointment in Minami’s inattention.
“I guess my mind was elsewhere?” Minami offered as a lame excuse. She smiled sheepishly, hoping to ease the lashing that was sure to come.
“We told you that you didn’t have to come,” Yukarin chided, crossing her arms with a huff.
Minami gulped nervously. “I-I kind of… didn’t mean to…”
The two stared at her curiously, uncertain as to what she’d said.
“Repeat that?”
“I didn’t really mean to come with you,” Minami admitted with a nervous laugh. “I meant to go my own way at the station, but before I knew it I realized I was following you and now we’re in a district I don’t recognize.”
“So, in other words…” Yukarin started, looking at Atsuko with a smirk.
“… You’re lost, and totally reliant on us,” Atsuko finished with a smirk of her own.
“Acchan, Yukarin, I don’t think I like that look you just shared,” Minami said, glancing nervously between the two.
The two taller idols quickly saddled up to Minami’s sides and each grabbed her respective arm. “We’re going fishing,” Atsuko informed her, tightening her grasp on the now squirming Minami.
“You can be our bait; you’re tiny enough,” Yukarin added, doing her part to restrain Minami.
“Eh? Fishing?” Minami asked incredulously. “You two?”
Atsuko shrugged. “It’s actually pretty fun. Nyan Nyan recommended it.”
“Kojiharu? Really?” Minami pondered with a confused pout, having since given up on escaping, knowing that resistance was futile.
“And, since you’ll be there, maybe this time Atsuko won’t freak out about baiting the hook or releasing the fish; or even just reeling it in.” Yukarin teased, earning a glare from Atsuko. “We’ll let you do all those things; it’s the perfect job for a boy.” The two taller girls shared another laugh at Minami’s expense as they continued on their way.
“I’m not so sure I’m going to like this,” Minami mumbled, following the other two begrudgingly.
Unbeknownst to the disheartened Minami, they had invited others to join them. Haruna, who could technically be blamed for all of it, had been the first to be called, and she had shown up accompanied by Mariko, Yuko, and Nontii, with Miichan arriving quickly soon after. Tomochin of course was also invited, arriving with a rather curious albeit confused Tomo~mi in tow. Still others soon followed and the fishing hole was eventually over run with AKB48 members. (The young man working that night was certain to have a story to share with his friends.)
Even though Atsuko was nervous with her crush present, in the end they’d all had a fun time that night.
_ _ _ _ _
Throughout the next year Atsuko noticed that she and Minami grew closer even as their work increased. (This was, perhaps, why they grew closer, as they found themselves in the other’s company more often.) They began to spend more time together outside of work as well. Atsuko was confident that Minami would always keep her secret. In fact, Minami would, from time to time, ask if Atsuko’s relationship with her crush had progressed at all. Atsuko could only reply that they’d grown closer as friends; as it was, the occasional hand hold or hug was more than enough to satisfy her.
_ _ _ _ _
“I can’t eat another bite.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
Atsuko took a break from stuffing her face to look at the girl across from her. The two had gone to lunch and Minami had finished eating after a small meal. Atsuko had ordered three times as much and was even pondering dessert. She cast Minami a smug look before she continued eating.
“You certainly eat a lot, Acchan.” Immediately Atsuko’s hand found Minami’s head, eliciting a yelp from her companion.
“There are some things you don’t say to a lady, Takahashi,” Atsuko scolded before returning to her meal.
Minami winced as she reached a hand to her newly acquired bump. “It was a compliment, Acchan. I’m amazed, not disgusted.”
Atsuko stopped just long enough to ponder Minami’s words before taking another bite of food. “Still… trust me. You shouldn’t say that to a lady. You’re such a guy sometimes, Takamina.”
“Whatever,” Minami resigned. “What do you want to do after this? You’re the one that called and asked if I wanted to hang out.”
“Let’s go shopping,” Atsuko said, her eyes sparkling with excitement. It was voiced as a proposal, but Minami suspected that it was more of a demand.
Minami raised her brow skeptically. “Isn’t Tomochin a better choice to be your partner in crime for such an activity?” she asked.
“But I want to go shopping with Minami!” Atsuko pouted, her food momentarily forgotten as she cast a sad glance across the table.
“Alright, alright, shopping it is,” Minami agreed, casting her friend a large grin. She knew better than to go against Atsuko’s wishes.
“Great!” Atsuko cheered, flagging down the waiter to order dessert.
She’d since lost track of how many times the two had gone out together; lunch, shopping, movies. Minami was one of her best friends in the group; this much Atsuko knew was certain. However, Atsuko couldn’t help but to reserve the selfish desire to be doing such things with the girl that she still claimed as her crush instead. Never-the-less, Minami was the best ‘second best’, and Atsuko couldn’t be happier in this moment. Shopping with Minami (which usually became ‘make Minami my patsy’) always made for a good time.
_ _ _
“Acchan, doesn’t that bother you?” Minami asked, gesturing across the room with her chin.
Atsuko turned to find the familiar scene of her crush hanging on some of the other members. In just under a minute, the older girl managed to give seven members [over]friendly hugs. The others present laughed at her antics, not one of them bothering to scold the lecher. The scene actually brought a smile to Atsuko's lips, the nearly complete opposite of what was expected.
“I’m pretty used to it by now. It’s actually kind of amusing. And, from time to time, I’m her chosen victim. Besides,” Atsuko began, watching as her crush latched onto a new victim. “She doesn’t even know that I like her, so how can I hold any of this against her?” She winced as the girl’s newest victim, the one she frequented most, fought back, smacking her in the head rather harshly.
“Oh, I see,” Minami replied monotonously, and Atsuko wondered if the other girl had actually understood.
“Acchan!” a voice rang out, and Atsuko was soon assaulted by a bouncing Miichan. Before she had time to react, Miichan quickly moved onto the next available victim.
“Miichan, get off me,” Minami grumbled, trying to shrug the younger girl away.
“Nuh-uh! You’re just the right height!” Miichan protested, snuggling closer to the tiny idol. She rested her head on Minami’s shoulder and sighed contently. Minami, on the other hand, sighed resignedly, her attempts to remove the younger girl quickly abandoned.
“Hey, that’s my spot!” Atsuko declared with a playful huff, quickly removing Miichan with a pinch of her ear. Minami’s shoulder now free, Atsuko swiftly settled in comfortably.
“You don’t have to be so possessive, Acchan. All you had to do was ask; I wasn’t trying to steal her from you.” Miichan stuck her tongue out teasingly and Atsuko could only stare blankly in return. “Well, if I can’t rest on this midget’s shoulder, I’ll just have to find another.”
“Acchan,” Minami muttered, patting her friend’s head. She had watched curiously as Miichan quickly made her way across the room and latched onto someone else. “Acchan, shouldn’t you go get Miichan off your crush?”
“Nah,” Atsuko mumbled. Minami’s shoulder was surprisingly comfortable and Atsuko wrapped her arms around Minami’s waist as she slowly succumbed to sleep.
“I don’t get you, Acchan,” Minami stated with a shake of her head. “Shouldn’t she be the one that you reclaim from other people? She’s the one you like, not me. Acchan?” Not receiving an answer, Minami glanced at the head on her shoulder and a gentle smile soon formed on her lips. “Geez, Acchan, don’t drool on me,” she said, nudging the sleeping beauty back to reality.
“Hn… tired.”
“I’m not a pillow, Acchan.” Minami could feel the other girl smile against her shoulder in response.
“Not true. Minami’s the best pillow.”
_ _ _ _ _
Contrary to what it may seem, being an idol isn’t all fun and games. It’s also hard, busy work. On top of this, Atsuko was the center of not only Team A, but AKB48 as a whole. It was a position which required determination and responsibility, one that she fulfilled to the best of her abilities. However, no one her age had the strength to succeed alone. Throughout the years leading up to that position and after, Atsuko often found herself relying on the other members for support, especially Minami.
_ _ _ _ _
Acchan was collapsed in the corner of an unfamiliar area, bawling into her arms as if her life depended on it. Her whole body shook with each sob. The tears she allowed to fall had begun to puddle on the ground beneath her. Her eyes were tired; her lungs were tired; her nose was runny and her throat hurt, yet she still could not bring herself to cease crying.
What gives him the right to say those things to me?
She hated herself for being so weak against mere words. She wished she had been stronger. She wished she had simply told him ‘thank you,’ with a broad smile, giving him the opposite reaction of what he’d hoped to gain. That’s what Minami would have done.
But he had won, and she had gone running from the handshake line in tears as he stood there grinning triumphantly. She had heard Miichan calling her name worriedly, but it didn’t matter. Atsuko had wanted to disappear in that moment, and fast.
I’m not strong enough to stand against such hateful words. My heart hurts so badly, my chest aches. Why does he feel such hatred towards me? Why would he say those things? What have I ever done but try to achieve my dream?
As the moment replayed in her mind yet again, Atsuko again succumbed to her sobs. Her whole body once again shook in a weakness that she hated. The tears didn’t stop; they wouldn’t stop; she was too weak to stop them.
She suddenly felt a protective, comforting hold on her shoulders, and she couldn’t help but to sob louder. She knew this kindness. It was Minami’s, no doubt about it; Minami whom she needed more than anything or anyone else in that moment. Minami, whose hold told Atsuko what she most needed to hear: ‘I’m right here beside you, Atsuko.’
Please, Minami. Please let me rely on you.
In an instant she flung herself upon Minami, her tears unending. Minami caught her with a practiced ease, though the added weight was enough for her to lose her balance for just a second. Atsuko felt Minami rubbing her back soothingly, but her savior said nothing. Atsuko didn’t want to talk; she wasn’t ready to talk. Minami’s presence was enough to console her for now, and her best friend understood that.
_
As Atsuko’s sobs began to wane, it occurred to her that she had been crying in Minami’s arms for over twenty minutes now. Slowly and a bit reluctantly she withdrew from Minami’s hold. She focused her eyes on the ground beneath her, unable to bring her gaze to meet her best friend’s.
“Thank you, Minami,” she whispered. Sniffling, she shifted her position, bringing her knees up to her chest. Another tear escaped her eyes and she wiped it away with the back of her hand.
“You’re welcome,” Minami replied, her own voice laced with a hint of sadness. Atsuko closed her eyes in disgust when she heard it. She had obviously worried Minami enough to bring her sadness, something she had never wanted to do.
That man was right; I am an ugly person.
“You’re not an ugly person.”
“Huh?” Atsuko looked up and quickly realized her mistake as she locked eyes with Minami. She looked away as a blush appeared on her cheeks.
“You said some things while you were crying,” Minami stated quietly. “You just got this frown on your face, so I knew you were thinking about it again.”
“He said that I’m too arrogant, that I’m a boring, ugly person. He said that I’m a ‘nobody’, and that the group was better off without someone like me in it.”
“That’s not true, Atsuko.”
“Yes, it is!” Atsuko hissed, immediately regretting it. She watched with an aching heart as a frown settled on Minami’s lips. Disgusted with herself, she could feel the tears returning to her eyes.
Minami sighed as she considered Atsuko’s words. Adjusting her position, she now sat beside the taller girl, mimicking her as she brought her knees to her chest. “Is this about what you said on television the other day?” She received a small nod in confirmation. Seeing it, she gave another heavy sigh. “To be honest, Atsuko, even I have to admit that what you said was a little arrogant.”
Atsuko buried her face further into her arms. Despite her current mood and the guilt Minami’s admission made her feel, she couldn’t help but to find Minami’s tone of voice amusing. It was like that of a father admonishing his child. Minami, the ‘Papa’ of AKB, as was teasingly stated by the other members.
“Wake up and smell the roses, “princess”. AKB48 is far better off without someone of your kind in it. Think you’re all that, huh? Nobody likes a person as arrogant as you. You’re an ugly person, inside and out.”
The man’s words echoed in her mind and Atsuko reluctantly let a sob escape her lips.
“But…” Minami said, regaining Atsuko’s attention. “I know what you said is not how you truly feel. You made a mistake and people will forgive you for it. I forgive you for it.” Atsuko remained quiet so Minami returned her arms to her friend’s shoulders. “That guy was just one hater that stands against the millions that love you, including me.”
A thin smile made its way to Atsuko’s lips as she listened to Minami’s honest words. Minami was right; she couldn’t afford to let this one incident affect her so much. Unfortunately there were bound to be more similar incidents, and she had to grow stronger not only for her sake, but for the sake of AKB48 as a whole. Giving a firm nod, she stood up with a renewed determination, feeling Minami do the same beside her. Yet despite her now calm state, tears still escaped her eyes.
Atsuko’s breath caught in her lungs as she felt Minami’s hand against her cheek, the shorter girl’s thumb gently wiping away her tears.
“There. Now that’s the Acchan that I love,” Minami said, beaming up at a stunned Atsuko beside her. Just as Atsuko began to recover from her shock, Minami grabbed her hand and laced their fingers together. “Believe me, I know the real you. You’re not an ugly person. You’re beautiful, Atsuko.”
In that instant, Atsuko felt a peculiar sensation wash over her. Her chest grew tight, her stomach filled with butterflies, and she felt her face grow warm. This was the first time that Minami had ever initiated any kind of intimate contact between them. Maybe that was why Atsuko suddenly felt embarrassed looking into Minami’s eyes.
Or maybe it was because of Minami’s kind words. It was the first time that Minami had ever used the word ‘love’ so loosely, as Atsuko and many of the others often did. And who wouldn’t blush after their best friend called them beautiful?
Or perhaps it was because of something deeper, something more personal, and something that Atsuko could not quite comprehend.
“C’mon, Acchan, let’s go join the others. Everyone’s worried about you; I want them to see that a minor thing like this isn’t enough to bring you down. Remember, Acchan: I’ll always be beside you.”
Nodding, Atsuko granted Minami one of her classic, brilliant smiles, and the two quickly made their way to the others hand-in-hand, their fingers still intertwined.
End Chapter 2, Part 1
As I'm sure you can tell, Chapter 2 is presented from Atsuko's POV. In future updates, there will be more scenes that crossover with Chapter 1, like the last scene above. For the most part, the sections should match up, i.e. scenes in Ch. 1 Pt. 2 crossover with scenes in Ch. 2 Pt. 2.
Chapter 2 is projected to be in four parts as opposed to Chapter 1's five.
I hope you enjoyed this update!
As always, thank you for reading.
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Acchan is going to love Minami, is it? Better the two realize they are a perfect couples and meant for each others. Waiting for your next update.
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I see where you're going with this after reading from Atsuko's perspective. Both of them had experienced crush before actually finding out true love. I'm anticipating for your next chapter.
And I think Atsuko's crush is Yuko. ACtually it's quite obvious from the characteristics you've described.
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I wanna a friend like takamina.. :D such lovable and loyable :D
Great chapter!.. My atsumina is grewn up soon :D
but who is the atsuko´s crush.. i think is SAE.... could be..
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I also think Acchan's cruch is Yuko.
I like how you show Takamina's kindness in your fic ^^
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My first guess was Sae but then you used 'lecher' to describe Acchan's crush so I figure it's Yuko. Good job on making it kind of hard to guess lol
It's interesting to read from different perspectives, I like that. :thumbup
Don't mind that it was noticeable that you rushed that last chapter, it can't be help; things like that tend to be noticable when you read plenty of books and other people's works. I'm guilty of it too considering.
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Yeaheyyyy!!! :) an updAte :mon angel: :mon angel: :mon angel:
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Apologies for the wait. Enjoy.
Atsuko’s breath caught in her lungs as she felt Minami’s hand against her cheek, the shorter girl’s thumb gently wiping away her tears.
“There. Now that’s the Acchan that I love,” Minami said, beaming up at a stunned Atsuko beside her. Just as Atsuko began to recover from her shock, Minami grabbed her hand and laced their fingers together. “Believe me, I know the real you. You’re not an ugly person. You’re beautiful, Atsuko.”
In that instant, Atsuko felt a peculiar sensation wash over her. Her chest grew tight, her stomach filled with butterflies, and she felt her face grow warm. This was the first time that Minami had ever initiated any kind of intimate contact between them. Maybe that was why Atsuko suddenly felt embarrassed looking into Minami’s eyes.
Or maybe it was because of Minami’s kind words. It was the first time that Minami had ever used the word ‘love’ so loosely, as Atsuko and many of the others often did. And who wouldn’t blush after their best friend called them beautiful?
Or perhaps it was because of something deeper, something more personal, and something that Atsuko could not quite comprehend.
“C’mon, Acchan, let’s go join the others. Everyone’s worried about you; I want them to see that a minor thing like this isn’t enough to bring you down. Remember, Acchan: I’ll always be beside you.”
Nodding, Atsuko granted Minami one of her classic, brilliant smiles, and the two quickly made their way to the others hand-in-hand, their fingers still intertwined.
Portraits
An AKB48 Fan Fiction
Chapter 2, Part 2
_ _ _ _ _
In the prime of her youth, Maeda Atsuko discovered first hand that love is cruel. In the same series of events that led her to eventually discover true love, Atsuko experienced the pain of heartache for the first time in her life.
_ _ _ _ _
Something is bothering her. Acchan watched as her crush sat brooding in the corner, one of the few members still remaining after practice. The girl was mumbling and making strange faces, and from time to time she would stand up with a fierce determination, only to quickly sit down again in dismay. Faced with the possibility of being nearly alone with the girl that was her crush, Atsuko was a bit put-off to find that she was not so nervous after all. Convincing herself to make the most of the opportunity, Atsuko stepped toward the object of her observations.
The idea that she was no longer crushing on the other girl flashed through her mind so suddenly that it went unnoticed.
“Yuko…san,” she said quietly, causing the other girl to look up at her. Almost immediately a large smile played across Yuko’s face.
“Acchan!” she exclaimed, flinging her arms around the younger girl. “Tell me, to what do I owe the honor of your speaking with me?”
With a deep breath and then a heavy sigh, Atsuko averted her eyes before whispering, “I know your smile today is fake.”
“What was that?” Yuko asked with a tilt of her head, releasing her grip on the ace.
“I know that something is upsetting you,” Atsuko said, at the same time trying to reign in her emotions. Here she was, alone with her crush, the girl’s attention focused solely on her. Her mind was nervous, afraid that she’d let her secret slip. And yet, even though Yuko was hugging her, Atsuko was surprised to find that her heart was remarkably calm. Perhaps Yuko’s playful friendliness was to blame; she was always hugging the other members, which is why Atsuko knew there was nothing special behind the current contact; she’d been hugged innumerous times before.
“Is it that obvious?” Yuko asked, not trying to deny anything as she sat down with a sad sigh.
Only to me.
Before Acchan could reply, Yuko spoke again, though she refused to look up at the other girl. “Acchan… do you have someone you like?”
“Well… with the no relationships rule and only being around the other members all the time-”
Yuko gave a wry laugh and lightly jabbed Atsuko in the shoulder. “Don’t worry about that, not around me. Now be honest.”
Atsuko felt her face grow warm as she answered with a quiet yes.
“Another member, perhaps?”
Another whispered yes.
“I see,” Yuko said with an understanding smile, resisting the urge to further interrogate the matter. “Now tell me, what would you do if you thought that person was dating someone?” Yuko stared up at the uncomfortable girl standing in front of her before she spoke again. “The thing is, the person I like… I think she’s dating somebody, and I’m torn between following her to find out whom or just letting it be.”
So she has someone she likes, too. And it’s not me. That’s disappointing to know, but… why am I not upset by that?
Atsuko sat down next to Yuko, biting her lower lip in a bid for time to think the older girl’s question over more thoroughly. She found it hard to imagine the situation as Yuko, the person she liked, was obviously not yet in a relationship. As she sat trying to comprehend such a circumstance among her friends Minami drifted to mind, and Atsuko suddenly found she was able to answer without any further hesitation.
“If I were you, I’d follow her; the person you like, that is. If it turns out she is dating someone, then I’d want to see with my own eyes that the person she’s dating is treating her right. I’d want to know that that person was good enough for her. She’s risking her career by being in a relationship so if you don’t believe that person is worth the risk, you should tell her.”
Feeling Yuko jump off the seat beside her, Atsuko looked up to see the older girl offering her a hand. Seeing Atsuko’s confused expression, Yuko explained her actions with a small smile.
“It’s settled; we’re going to follow her.”
“We?”
Yuko smiled shyly then, a smile which Atsuko realized she’d never seen before. “I don’t have the courage to do this on my own.”
Atsuko stood up slowly, her thoughts racing furiously. With a small nod she met Yuko’s eyes, took her hand, and smiled.
“Great!” Yuko exclaimed, turning to leave with Atsuko in tow, but stopping as she realized that Atsuko had not stepped forward. “Acchan?” she asked worriedly. “Is something wrong? If you’re having second thoughts then you don’t have to go. I can ask Sayaka, or Sae, or-”
“No,” Atsuko whispered. “I’ll go.” Yuko nodded as Atsuko stared at their conjoined hands, her mouth agape. Holding Yuko’s hand had never ceased to make Atsuko’s heart flutter…
…until now.
She was at a loss for words. Here she was holding hands with the girl she’d had a crush on for years and yet…. Her cheeks were burning red, she was sure, and she tried to convince herself that it was because she was holding Yuko’s hand and not from the embarrassment of her momentary stupor. Yet the involuntary reactions she read about in love stories didn’t come; no butterflies, no heart flutters. From her limited understanding of being in love Atsuko’s body was acting the complete opposite of how it should, given the circumstances and the knowledge that she was about to spend time alone with the girl she liked outside of work.
Her body was reacting completely opposite of how it had when Minami had led her by the hand just two weeks earlier.
“Acchan, are you sure you’re alright?” a concerned Yuko asked, nudging Atsuko back to reality. Casting aside her ponderings, Atsuko nodded affirmatively and motioned for them to leave.
As the two raced out of the theater and down the city streets, Atsuko had begun to touch on an important revelation. However, the thought was quickly cast aside as she tried to keep pace with Yuko. Here she was, tightly grasping Yuko’s hand with their fingers entwined, elated that the older girl had been comfortable enough with her to confide in her. Even if she wasn’t the person that Yuko liked, in this moment Atsuko was still happy.
Her happiness was, sadly, short-lived, for reasons that seemed to appear suddenly but, in hind-sight, were always present at her side.
_ _ _
Yuko likes Haruna.
This sole thought occupied Atsuko’s mind for the past twenty minutes as she and Yuko walked a few meters behind a clueless Kojima Haruna. Stealing a glance at the girl beside her, Atsuko searched her memories for any signs of Yuko’s attraction to the tall idol, and everything suddenly made sense. Yuko was always hanging around, if not on, Haruna. Her cries of, “Nyan Nyan!” reverberated throughout the theater hallways on a daily manner. No matter how many times Haruna had smacked her over the head, Yuko always returned to her side. She had declared her love constantly but the others, including the object of her unrequited love, had always assumed she was playing around.
It had always been the truth, and now Yuko was on the way to having her heart broken. Stealing another glance at Yuko, Atsuko could see that the older girl’s normally carefree smile had been replaced with a grim one. It was obvious that Yuko knew she was about to witness something most people would try to avoid seeing.
“This way,” Yuko said simply with a nudge on Atsuko’s arm. Atsuko looked up to see Haruna turning into a crowded entertainment area filled with shops famous for their pastries, among other things. A small movie theater stood next door, another popular location among youth. They hid themselves behind the ticket queue, watching as Haruna waited against the wall of a quaint bakery.
“Look, it’s the midget captain,” Yuko whispered, grabbing Atsuko’s hand to gain her attention. Atsuko looked up to see Minami greet Haruna with a hug. She felt her chest tighten as she watched the scene, though she was unsure as to why.
“I guess she’s meeting with Takamina before she meets her date,” Atsuko offered, though she knew the words wouldn’t bring Yuko any comfort.
“I guess… you’re right,” Yuko said with a sigh. “We’ll have to wait for them to leave, and then we’ll pick up tailing Nyan Nyan again. Is something wrong?”
Atsuko’s brow was furrowed in thought, and she hesitated a moment before shaking her head no. It couldn’t be, could it? No… I’m one of her best friends; Minami would definitely have told me about something like this. Watching Yuko move away to wait on a nearby bench, Atsuko gathered her nerves and sat down beside the older girl. Unknowingly, she began playing with the hem of her skirt.
“There really is something bothering you, eh?” Yuko teased with a kind smile, propping her arms on the back of the bench. “We have some time, so spill.”
Ceasing her ministrations, Atsuko stared at the ground between her feet. “It’s just… why did they come here separately? It’s late; why didn’t they just leave the theater together? It feels like they’re hiding something. If Kojiharu really was dating a guy, I don’t think Minami would support it.” It feels like my heart is sinking deeper in my chest. Is this… jealousy? Why?
There was a moment’s pause before Yuko jumped up from her seat, causing Atsuko to look up quickly. “You’re right, again,” Yuko said in a sad matter-of-fact tone before looking down at Atsuko with a thin smile. “I knew there was a reason I brought you.”
There it is again, her fake smile.
“Pardon?” the younger girl said, looking up in confusion.
“Takamina is the answer.”
“Huh?” Atsuko gasped and she could feel her chest tightening. “Takamina is the answer to what?”
Yuko shook her head negatively before she spoke again. “It’s not something I can tell you; you’ll have to see with your own eyes.”
Following Yuko curiously, though a bit reluctantly, Atsuko stopped in a position where she could see through the bakery’s window. Haruna and Minami were seated side by side in the corner, smiling over their conversation. The two stalkers outside watched as subtle touches, smiles, blushes (mainly Takamina), smacks in the head (received by Takamina), and bites of food were shared amongst their prey. And then…
…and then, Haruna and Minami stood up. Brief words were exchanged, Minami again turned bright red, Haruna glanced around quickly (though a bit too quickly, as she didn’t spot the spies in the window), and then they shared the shortest of kisses. Haruna laughed and left the bakery, followed by an embarrassed Minami a moment later. The two went their separate ways without second thoughts.
…and then, Atsuko reached an unsteady hand up to her eyes to wipe away the tears that had gathered there. Her heart was racing and her knees were weak. Why am I crying? Why do I suddenly feel ill? The sound of someone sniffling reached her ears, and immediately Atsuko remembered why she was standing outside a café spying on two of her good friends.
“Yuko…” Atsuko began, her voice failing her as she felt herself begin to lose control of her tears.
“Heh,” Yuko laughed with a wry smile, wiping the tears from her eyes. “I suppose that if anyone were good enough for Nyan Nyan, the captain would most certainly qualify.”
Yuko sure is strong; it’s one of the reasons I like her. “Yuko…” Atsuko repeated, reaching a hand out to comfort the older girl. She was shunned as Yuko stepped out of her grasp.
“Sorry, Acchan, I kind of just want to be left alone now, na mean?” Atsuko could only nod in reply. “Thanks for coming with me,” Yuko continued, her voice beginning to give way to her emotions. “I’m not going to give up, though. Your captain’s a tough rival, but I’m just going to try even harder.” Yuko turned and took a few steps before pausing. With a visible sigh she stopped and turned back around to face Atsuko.
“Acchan, don’t tell anyone what we saw today, okay?”
There came another nod as Atsuko dropped her gaze to the ground.
“And Acchan,” Yuko said, regaining the younger girl’s attention. “You don’t give up either now, ya hear?”
“Huh?” What does she mean? Isn’t she the one that just had her heart broken?
With a small laugh at Atsuko’s ignorance, Yuko granted the other girl a coy smile and a wave before turning around and leaving. It was then that Atsuko realized she had since lost control of her tears.
Why? she wondered, yet again reaching a hand up to her eyes. Why am I crying? Why does my heart hurt so much?
Her mind tried to reason with her.
Perhaps it was because she had seen Yuko, her crush, cry so honestly.
Or maybe it was because she was not the one that Yuko liked.
Not satisfied with those answers, Atsuko’s heart quickly took over.
Or maybe, just maybe, it was because she was not the one that Minami liked.
Images suddenly began to flood her mind as she watched a tear slide down her finger. As Yuko had always done to Haruna, Atsuko had always done to Minami. Minami, who was nothing short of kind, caring, reliable, funny, protective... the list was endless. Minami, who had always been beside her, supporting her. Atsuko had laden her best friend with the burden of her unrequited crush, as well as hugs, [attempted] playful kisses, ‘dates’, and friendly declarations of love. At those times, Atsuko had never considered the possibility that her heart had truly meant something more.
Now she began to wonder.
If those things meant that Yuko loves Haruna, did that mean that I love Minami?
Minutes later, amidst her tears and confusion, Atsuko switched over to auto-pilot, and she did the first thing that came to mind:
She ran to Minami.
_
Atsuko found herself in Minami’s room, her knees held tightly to her chest as she sat waiting against Minami’s bed. She had apparently beaten Minami home, as Mrs. Takahashi had invited her inside and allowed the visibly distraught Atsuko into her daughter’s room to wait. The elder Takahashi had cast the same worried look that Minami usually did, and Atsuko couldn’t help but to smile at their similarities.
“Thank you; I’ll be fine waiting here,” Atsuko had whispered, and Mrs. Takahashi left after one last worried glance.
In truth, Atsuko was anything but fine. Her heart and mind were in turmoil. Yuko, the girl that Atsuko had liked for years, had a crush on another girl that was not Atsuko. In the wake of this revelation, Atsuko had come to doubt her own feelings, and was hesitant to admit that she no longer harbored a crush for Yuko.
Atsuko rested her head on her arms as she felt tears begin to build up in her eyes yet again. She was afraid of her own feelings, because if it was not Yuko causing the pains in her heart then there was only one other person it could be. She was afraid because if it was indeed that person that she liked, she was again out of luck, as that person also had someone special already. She was afraid because her newly discovered feelings could, if found out, bring an end to something that over the years had blossomed into a beautiful friendship.
Most of all, however, Atsuko was afraid of how weak she was, because in her moment of sadness and confusion she had once again come to rely on Minami.
Minami had always supported her, no matter the circumstances.
Minami had always stayed strong, no matter the challenge.
Minami had, quite possibly, always been the one dearest to her.
And now, she had to prevent herself from falling completely in love with Minami, because her best friend was already taken, swept from right under her nose.
No, Atsuko thought with a sad shake of her head. That’s not right. I don’t have to prevent myself from falling in love with her.
I need to fall out of love with her.
Sighing, Atsuko glanced around the room as she quickly deemed such a thing impossible.
Why did I come here, of all places? Why did I run to the source of my problem?
“Acchan, what’s wrong?” she heard a newly arrived Minami ask. However, Atsuko could not bring herself to look at her friend, and could only let out some quiet sobs in reply. “Atsuko,” Minami whispered her name this time, and Atsuko grew stiff as she felt Minami place a hand on her shoulder. “How can I help you if you won’t tell me what’s wrong, Acchan?”
Atsuko furiously wiped at her eyes with the back of her sleeves. “I’m sorry; I shouldn’t have come here,” she whispered, attempting to stand. However, a strong grip on her arm prevented her from doing so.
“Acchan, there’s obviously something upsetting you. Won’t you please tell me?” Minami’s voice was pleading but Atsuko remained seated on the floor and refused to meet Minami’s gaze. She heard Minami sigh and sit down beside her, and a moment later Atsuko’s heart skipped a beat as Minami’s hand slipped into hers.
Minami…
“Please tell me what’s wrong, Acchan. I don’t like to see you crying like this.”
Again Atsuko could not trust herself to speak.
“Is this about your crush, by any chance?”
It was purely a guess but it hit the mark. Atsuko gave a small nod, partly impressed that the love-ignorant Minami would be able to sense such a matter. Minami quickly reacted to her simple gesture.
“Did you confess to her? Did she reject you?”
Slowly shaking her head ‘no’, Atsuko could feel her heart tightening in her chest. Minami was being overly nice to her, as expected. Her caring actions did little to help Atsuko with her woes, however, because they only served to remind Atsuko of just how much she had likely fallen for the smaller girl.
“I don’t love her anymore,” Atsuko had whispered, a sound barely audible. It was better to start discussing her reasons for being there rather than bring Minami to worry even longer.
“I’m sorry, Acchan; could you repeat that?”
“I realized today that… I don’t love her anymore. At least, not… like that.”
There was a small pause before Minami spoke again. “What makes you say that?” she asked, her voice a bit more at ease, though it hid a hint of sadness.
Atsuko wiped at her eyes again before answering. “Due to certain circumstances, I spent a good deal of time alone with her today. I even held her hand more than once.” The frustration in Atsuko’s voice could not be denied.
“And?”
“And I didn’t feel anything! No kind of excitement at all! If she’s the person I like, then why didn’t I feel some sort of reaction from holding her hand? Isn’t that how love works? Besides…” she mumbled with a small pout. “It turns out that she has someone she likes, and it’s not me.”
“I’m sorry, but… I don’t really know how love works, Acchan.”
Liar. You’re in love with Haruna. As an image from earlier drifted to mind, Atsuko could no longer control her sobs.
“Wait, what now? What did I say now?” Minami asked in a panic. “Atsuko, there’s more behind your tears, isn’t there?” Minami released her hands, and before Atsuko could grieve the loss of touch her heart skipped another beat as she felt her friend gently wipe her tears away.
Please stop, Minami. You’re too kind. I can’t be in love with you. You already love someone else and I don’t want to lose your friendship.
Atsuko shook her head affirmatively as she heaved a sigh. “I realized that... there’s someone else… that I like but…” She sobbed as she began to speak a bit more quickly, her emotions beginning to take over. “I don’t want to resign to the fact that I like this person because my heart hurts so much already and I don’t want to have my heart broken again. But… I really like this person, Minami.”
“More than you ever loved her?” Minami asked with a sigh, and Atsuko replied with a quiet ‘yes’, flopping to her side to rest her head in Minami’s lap. It was a position they had been in many times before, but this time Atsuko’s heart was beating wildly. The realization of her feelings now made all of their interactions different.
“How so?”
“When I’m with this person, I feel all the things you’re supposed to feel when you’re in love. My chest tightens and my heart flutters. There’s electricity when I hold this person’s hand. I can trust this person with my life.”
“What’s the problem then, Acchan?”
Atsuko stiffened once again. The problem is that it’s you, and you’re taken. “This person I like is already in a relationship,” she managed to reply in a low, monotonous voice.
“Oh.” The simple answer and Minami’s unspoken thoughts behind it hit Atsuko’s heart with a thud.
There was a brief silence and then Atsuko’s sad voice filtered up to Minami’s ears. “I can’t help but to think that I need to bring myself to fall out of love with this person.”
The two sat quietly for a few moments, both taking advantage of the opportunity to gather their thoughts. Minami quietly sang a song as she absentmindedly stroked Atsuko’s bangs.
“Chiisana asa no hikari wa…”+
The familiar song reached Atsuko’s ears and her sniffling began to subside under Minami’s soothing touch. The song was an older one, but one that Minami would often sing, and Atsuko always believed that it was perfectly suitable to Minami’s voice and style.
“Feeling better?” Minami asked, ceasing her song.
“Un,” Atsuko grunted, not daring to meet Minami’s eyes.
“About what you said… I don’t think you should do that,” Minami said quietly, regaining Atsuko’s attention. “I think that you should spend time with this person. You should make sure it’s not just another crush but that it’s really a love deserving of your tears. Then you can decide what to do.” Atsuko said nothing so Minami continued, sadness once again tinting her voice. “Besides, some relationships just aren’t meant to be. If you really do like this person then don’t grow apart from them. You might still have a fighting chance in the future. If you two are meant to be, then something will happen eventually. Until that time… if you truly love this person, then you should be happy for them. Besides, even if they have someone special, only a crazy person would turn down having you as a friend.” Minami gave a stiff laugh before mumbling, “We’re not supposed to have romantic relationships, anyways.”
Acchan nodded and it grew silent yet again. Minami’s words brought to mind the conversation she’d had with Yuko. Acchan herself had advised Yuko to wish for the best for her secret love. After their adventure, Yuko had returned the favor in advising Acchan to never give up. Acchan had not understood the older girl’s words at the time, but now she knew.
“I love you, Minami,” she stated confidently. I really do; thank you for always being so kind to me.
“Haha. I know, Atsuko. You tell me that all the time. We’re best friends, remember?” she heard Minami reply. Right; just best friends. Atsuko let a small, guilty smile grace her lips as she felt Minami reclaim her hand. Again her heart leapt against her chest.
“You know, speaking of best friends,” Atsuko began teasingly, “I think Tomochin and I were wrong about you. You can actually be pretty helpful when it comes to these matters.”
“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Minami asked with a playful scowl.
“Nothing; nothing at all,” Atsuko replied, an honest smile gracing her lips.
Minami returned the smile in kind. “You want to spend the night? It’s already pretty late.”
Atsuko gave another nod and the two pried themselves from the floor and quickly prepared for bed. They were settled for only a few minutes before Atsuko’s curiosity took over. Whether or not she chose to pursue Minami, she still had unanswered questions. She had told Minami all of her love troubles, and yet she had not noticed when Minami had experienced love herself. Even more importantly, Minami had not told her.
Does Minami not trust me?
Should I give up on this one-sided love while I can?
“Minami…” she whispered.
“Hmm?” was Minami’s tired response.
“Have you ever been in love? I mean, I’ve burdened you with my love troubles; don’t you have any of your own?”
There was a long pause before Minami finally answered. “I thought I was in love once,” she whispered.
Hearing this, Atsuko rolled over to face Minami directly. “Only once?”
“Well, looking back on it, not even I was immune to childhood crushes. But… I thought I might have been in love more recently.”
“I see,” Atsuko stated, biting her lower lip in thought.
So… she won’t tell me after all.
“But…” Minami mumbled. Her voice trailed off, so Atsuko urged her on.
“But?”
Minami sighed. “It was merely an illusion; a misconception, really. We both agreed that what we felt between us wasn’t really romantic love. But, the person I felt these things toward is still very dear to me.”
There was a silent pause as the two refused to look at each other, both unsure of what to say next.
What does she mean? I saw her with Haruna; doesn’t she consider what they have love? Finally, Atsuko spoke in a voice barely above a whisper.
“Are you seeing anyone right now, Minami?”
“No, of course I’m not! We’re idols remember?” Minami answered a bit too quickly, though there was a hint of sadness hidden in her voice. “What gives you that idea?” she asked, and Atsuko sighed as she watched Minami grow red-faced.
Her face tells the truth, and I saw them together. Why can’t she tell me?
Does she really not trust me?
“It’s nothing. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked,” Atsuko apologized as she settled back into her covers and turned her back to Minami.
“Acchan?” Minami’s voice was tinged with remorse and curiosity.
“Minami,” Atsuko stated firmly. This isn’t good; now I’m jealous and a bit angry and she thinks I’m mad at her. “I wish you’d let me help you with your burdens, just like you helped me tonight. You don’t have to do everything by yourself.”
“Thanks, Atsuko.”
Atsuko didn’t have to look at Minami to see the smile on her friend’s face.
It’s still all so new to me, but I think that I really do love you, Minami.
But you love Haruna, so I'll just have to find joy in simply being your best friend.
End Chapter 2, Part 2
+This song's legal information will be disclosed at a later time.
Thank you all for reading!
Woohoo, an update. (And there was much rejoicing.)
Indeed, Atsuko's crush was Yuko. That was my lame offering to all the AtsuYuu fans out there. (This story has everything. A little TakaTomo, a little TakaHaru, a little AtsuYuu; but ultimately, it is Atsumina with a touch of Kojiyuu.)
It will likely take just as long until the next update as it did this time. I've had a bit of inspiration for one of my other stories (not AKB), so I've been working on it a lot more than Portraits. Don't worry; I'll never abandon this story.
Until next time.
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well well yeah new chapter.. oww so many things happen.. cute atsumina scene now atsuko you need to fight for your husband.. like yuko :D..
I wanna know what takamina and haruna talk.. and why haruna kiss minami.. just curious..
Updated soon thanx
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@haruko i think the haruna and takamina's talk is in chapter one part 2:-)
I love how you write !!!please update :bow: soon.
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Poor Acchan and Yuko T_T
I'm with them! Ganbatte!
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“Minami,” Atsuko stated firmly. //This isn’t good; now I’m jealous and a bit angry and she thinks I’m mad at her.// “I wish you’d let me help you with your burdens, just like you helped me tonight. You don’t have to do everything by yourself.”
“Thanks, Atsuko.”
Atsuko didn’t have to look at Minami to see the smile on her friend’s face.
//It’s still all so new to me, but I think that I really do love you, Minami.
But you love Haruna, so I'll just have to find joy in simply being your best friend.//
Portraits
An AKB48 Fan Fiction
Chapter 2, Part 3
_ _ _ _ _
Atsuko took Minami’s words to heart; she would take time to decide her true feelings. She dedicated herself to spending even more time with Minami (though work often hindered her plans), hoping to determine whether or not she really did like her best friend as something more, and if so, whether she ever stood a chance with her. They would only grow closer and Atsuko stood determined to always be with Minami, even if only as her friend.
Then, just a month after Atsuko’s love revelation and subsequent yearnings, (a month believing that Minami would never, could never, be hers) she received positive news from her ex-crush, a girl that had since become a closer friend, confidant, and relationship advisor.
_ _ _ _ _
For Atsuko, today could not grow any worse. She had woken up late, only to discover that it was going to rain all day, meaning her bed head hair was not going to behave. Leaving her house in a hurry, she missed the first train and was subsequently late to the studio. Worst of all was that when Atsuko arrived, Minami was already busy organizing the start of practice, so she would not be able to spend those few precious moments alone with Minami.
“You’re late,” a voice teased from behind her as Atsuko entered the studio. She turned around to find a grinning Yuko with her hands on her hips.
“Hey, Yuko,” Atsuko greeted glumly. She couldn’t help but to spare a small smile, however, at the irony of their friendship. Yuko was the very girl on whom Atsuko had had a crush for years, and throughout that time the two were merely friends. However, the two were now very close friends after having their hearts broken together.
“Wait, why are you here?” Atsuko asked, mildly confused, only to immediately realize the idiocy of her question. Team A had a scheduled performance today, which gave Yuko a 99% chance of seeing (and harassing) Haruna. “Kojiharu must be around here somewhere,” Atsuko stated as she glanced around the room.
“Believe me, I’ll see to Kojipa in due time,” Yuko said, wriggling her brow. “Right now, though, we need to talk.”
Atsuko, startled by Yuko’s serious tone, headed for a more secluded location. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, actually.”
“Explain,” Atsuko demanded, crossing her arms on her chest.
Yuko beamed, her eyes sparkling. “They’re not dating.”
“Who?”
“You know very well who.”
Atsuko shook her head in disbelief. “A kiss like that and they’re not dating? That’s a bit too optimistic to think, even for you, Yuko.”
Yuko gave a small snicker. “That’s just it, though. What we witnessed last month was the break up.”
“How do you know this?” Atsuko asked, mildly shocked. Her arms dropped to her sides.
“Eh, I have my methods.”
“So…”
Yuko grabbed Atsuko’s hands excitedly. “So, in other words, they were dating, but now they’re not. And for what reasons did they break up?”
“I don’t know; why?”
Yuko faltered, and dropped Atsuko’s hands with a sheepish smile. “Well, actually, that much I don’t know yet, but do you know what this means?”
“Not really,” Atsuko sighed.
“This means that not only are both of our respective crushes available, but both of them are obviously open to dating another member! This is super good for us! Acchan, it’s time to chase after love wholeheartedly!” Yuko hugged Atsuko tightly before running off with a big smile, no doubt in search of Haruna.
Atsuko was stunned, but she couldn’t help but to let Yuko’s excitement and enthusiasm get the better of her. Most importantly, Minami had been telling the truth that night when she told Atsuko she was not dating anyone. Atsuko’s doubts that Minami did not trust her were without merit.
Perhaps today won’t prove to be so bad after all.
_ _ _ _ _
Atsuko couldn't help but to wonder how fond Minami was of her. The other idol proved to still be rather dense when it came to matters of the heart. Though not wanting to be too obvious, since unwanted feelings could push Minami away from her, Atsuko would give small hints from time to time. Unfortunately, those hints went seemingly unnoticed.
They went to see many movies together, Minami’s smile afterwards never ceasing to bring one to Atsuko’s face. (After all, Atsuko was happy simply to see Minami happy.) Meals were often spent with each other, be it breakfast, lunch, or dinner. Shopping trips multiplied. Atsuko took it upon herself to subtly show Minami more affection. The touches increased; the hugs increased; the smiles meant just for Minami increased.
Atsuko had no doubts about her feelings; she felt her heart growing ever fonder of Minami. Through her affections, she wanted to prove to Minami just how much she appreciated her.
_ _ _ _ _
On an ordinary spring evening the members of AKB48 found themselves at a resort, spending time there to record one of the documentaries for their latest release. All day they’d been followed by camera crews throughout their activities. Lunch, games, meetings; even the bath changing room was no longer private. Last night they had been filmed until the last one fell asleep.
Tonight, however, belonged to them. Being young girls, the number one activity they all had in mind was gossip. Music, fashion, shopping, and, dare they say, love; they could spend hours chatting about anything and nothing at all. As soon as the last staff member had left, they quickly grouped their futons together and piled atop one another.
Atsuko sat between Tomochin and Mariko, the three eager to commence gabbing. All were equipped with the latest editions of their favorite fashion magazines. Others gathered around the three, armed with their own magazines and gossip. Glancing around the growing group, the three fashionable members shared whispers and then a devious smirk before standing up and gathering the others’ attention.
“Hey, everybody, listen up!” Atsuko shouted, successfully gaining quiet in the room.
“We officially declare tonight a girls’ night!” Tomochin added, earning cheers from those gathered around them.
“That being said….” Mariko initiated.
“You,” Atsuko said, pointing at Minami.
Instantly Minami’s classic fail expression adorned her features. “Eh? Me? What did I do now?” she whimpered.
Ignoring her questions, Mariko pointed out the next victim. “You.”
“This can’t be good,” the indicated Sayaka grunted, granting the others a glimpse of her gorilla characteristic. “I think I know where this is going.”
Tomochin smirked and pointed a sultry finger in Sae’s direction. “And finally: you.”
“Nope; this isn’t good,” Sayaka confirmed as Sae stood as dumbfounded as Minami.
“Sorry, you three, but…” Atsuko started with a shrug.
“… No boys allowed,” the three instigators chorused. They stood with their arms crossed, denying the three access to the gossip group. The other members gathered around them quickly erupted in laughter as they watched the scene unfold.
“Ah, c’mon, I’m not a guy!” Minami pouted, collapsing to the ground.
Sayaka studied the three women before her. “Are you really not going to do anything until we leave?” she asked, testing the waters.
“That’s correct,” Mariko answered as the other two nodded their agreement.
“Alright, fine. We’ll leave. It’s obvious you’re up to no good.” Sayaka conceded, not wanting to make matters worse. “Let’s go, you two.”
Minami stood and glared at the opposition. “Fine, but I go under protest.” She turned and took two steps toward the door before quickly turning back around. “You, come with us please,” she said as she pointed at Yukirin, who quickly overreacted.
“Me? Why?”
Sayaka stepped up beside Minami. “I see where you’re going with this, Takamina. A three captains’ meeting while we have the chance, huh?” Seeing Yuki’s confused glance at Sae, Sayaka quickly thought up an excuse for the other exiled girl’s presence. “Just ignore the fact that she’ll be with us; we can’t leave her unsupervised, unfortunately,” she said with a teasing smile.
“Hey!” Sae shouted as she jumped up, having finally recovered from her initial stupor.
“Alright, I’ll go,” Yukirin agreed, standing from the main group and walking to join the ‘boys’. “But, Sayaka, we don’t need to ignore her. On the contrary…” She paused, turning to Sae with a sinister smile. All present gulped in fear for Sae’s safety. “There’s no need to ignore her when we can put her to good use.”
“Great idea!” Sayaka exclaimed happily, grabbing Sae by the collar before she had a chance to flee. “She can start as our runner.”
Shaking her head at their childish antics, Minami turned to the door with a sigh. “Alright, let’s go. The ‘ladies’ have requested their alone time.” The others watched as the quartet walked away, Sayaka dragging a pleading Sae behind her. Conversation began once again soon after the doors slid shut.
“Wasn’t that a little harsh?” Yuko asked quietly, plopping down on a futon beside Atsuko. “Here I thought Takamina was your best friend and more, and now you’re sending her away so easily? It’s only natural that I’d believe you’d enjoy a sleepover with her. Ostracizing her is what you call chasing after love wholeheartedly?”
Realizing Yuko’s implication, Atsuko felt her face flush before answering. “She is my best friend. And it’s not what you think.”
“Then what is it?” a newly arrived Haruna asked, visibly upset with the three for their treatment towards her friends. Despite Haruna’s frustration, Yuko was soon attached to the spacey idol.
“It’s a surprise party planning committee for Takamina’s birthday,” Tomochin answered. “We needed an effective method to get her out of the room.”
“And the others?”
“Unfortunate but necessary victims,” Mariko explained with a smirk. “I’m sure they won’t mind after we fill them in later.”
Yuko shot a scolding glance at the three plotters. “I don’t think Sae-chan is going to be okay.”
Tomochin shrugged. “She can blame Takamina for that later. She’s the one that requested that black Yukirin join them.”
“Yes; that was an unexpected development,” Atsuko stated with a shake of her head, casting aside disturbing thoughts about Sae-chan’s safety. “I’m sure that Yukirin and Sayaka were just playing around, and if they weren’t, then I trust Takamina will keep them from doing anything too awful. Now then, let’s get to planning, shall we?”
“I leave the planning to you all,” Yuko said, detaching herself from Haruna with a mischievous smirk. “I’m curious to see what the ‘boys’ are up to.” With a proud smile she patted Atsuko on her way out of the room. The pat was a message: I’m glad to see you haven’t given up.
_
“Hey Takamina, would you come with me for a second?” Atsuko asked with a nervous smile as she glanced around at the others at the party. She was relieved to see that no one was paying any attention in their direction.
It was two weeks later, and the party had proven to be a success. Many of the other members had come to celebrate, and Minami was elated to have some many friends with her on her birthday.
Minami beamed up at Atsuko. “Yeah, sure. I still can’t believe you organized this, Acchan. I never suspected a thing! It was great; thanks!”
“You’re welcome.” Taking advantage of the opportunity, Atsuko led Minami by the hand towards a secluded corner, away from the curious eyes of the others present at the party. She was happy that Minami was happy; the shorter girl’s excitement and bright smile were more than enough reward for her hard work in organizing the party.
“Really, thank you!” Minami replied happily, looking up at Atsuko curiously as the two stopped in a secluded corner. “So, what did you need?”
Atsuko shook her head. “I don’t need anything. I just… have another present for you.”
“Ah, this party was more than enough; you don’t need to give me any…thing...else.”
Minami stood shocked as Atsuko leaned down and kissed her, her lips grazing the corner of Minami’s.
“Happy Birthday, Minami,” Atsuko whispered red-faced, unable to look Minami in the eye.
“Wh-what was that for?” Minami asked, recovering from her stupor a few seconds later.
Atsuko gave a small smile and stuck out her tongue teasingly. “I told you, it was a birthday present. C’mon, let’s get back to the party.”
“Yeah, let’s!” Minami agreed with a nod and a small laugh, accepting the excuse without a second thought.
The two returned to the others, and even though Minami was her normal self the rest of the night, seemingly unperturbed by the ‘gift’ she’d received, Atsuko’s heart raced wildly throughout the evening. She had chickened out in that moment, her lips coming to rest only at the corner of Minami’s, but for Atsuko it was more than enough.
_ _ _
The evening, in Atsuko’s opinion, had been nothing short of wonderful.
Due to her busy film schedule, nearly two months had passed with nothing more than impersonal contact with Minami, but tonight Atsuko finally had an evening free to spend with her secret love. Seizing the chance, she invited Minami out to see a movie, one she was sure the other girl would not turn down. Once together, Atsuko let the actress in her take over.
It began in the theater. Early on in the film Atsuko had jumped at a particular scene, an honest reaction. However, Minami had reached a hand over to grab Atsuko’s, and from then on the crafty Atsuko was “frightened” by the film as often as possible.
She had been acting after the film as well. It wasn’t particularly cold outside, but there was a small chill in the air, and Atsuko had used it as an excuse to cuddle with Minami as they waited for a taxi cab. //“It’s cold,”// she had whispered as Minami stopped humming and smiled up at her. They stood chatting as they waited for a cab, which Minami flagged down effortlessly. And then, just as she was getting in the cab and thinking about how late it was, Minami had surprised her, as if she’d read Atsuko’s mind.
// “Care to spend the night?”//
Atsuko had answered yes in a heartbeat, and now here she was in Minami’s room, its owner fast asleep just inches away. Minami had given in to slumber not long after they’d arrived; a fact which was directly related to Atsuko’s still being awake. She’d spent the past two hours staring at Minami’s sleeping face, studying every contour. Her heart was pounding, because for two hours she’d been debating with her conscience.
Atsuko’s was a tough love to have. She loved Minami, of that she was sure. However, as far as she knew, Minami remained clueless about how she felt. Despite all the hints she’d given thus far, and the many more to come, Atsuko was afraid to admit that Minami had not and would not realize a thing. More frightening was the idea that perhaps Minami had realized how Atsuko felt and was not interested.
Why did I fall for her, of all people? Atsuko began to ponder but the answer came instantaneously. Minami was always kind, funny, dependable, protective, and forgiving. In Atsuko’s eyes, she possessed the best traits of humanity all rolled into one little vessel. And while Atsuko was certain that Minami had her not so favorable points, as Minami was only human, she was certain that she would still love her. Atsuko had heard it said that true love was indescribable, and she felt compelled to agree.
However, Atsuko’s worries over the future state of what was at this point only a hoped for relationship were not the biggest issue plaguing her.
No, for two hours, more than anything else, Atsuko was kept awake by the irresistible urge to kiss the girl sleeping beside her.
Sure, I gave her a kiss at her party months ago, but…
Atsuko returned her focus to Minami, and in that moment her resolve was broken. Leaning over to the sleeping girl, Atsuko pressed her lips against Minami’s in a chaste kiss that sent electricity throughout her body. The sensation was not to be enjoyed, however, as Atsuko pulled back suddenly, her hand covering her mouth in fear and disbelief. She stared at the still slumbering Minami as tears began to form in her eyes.
What did I just do?
Burrowing beneath her covers, Atsuko turned her back to Minami, panic strewn across her features.
I can’t believe I just did that.
She heard Minami shift behind her and Atsuko’s breath caught in her throat. That was all Minami did, however. The other girl was still in a deep sleep, oblivious to what had occurred.
While this love remains one-sided, I don’t think I can ever spend the night again.
_ _ _ _ _
Despite it all, Atsuko was still a young woman in love, and young love never came without trials. Atsuko couldn’t help but to feel jealous at times. At other times she felt possessive. But, did she really have the right to feel such things when the object of her desires was oblivious of it all?
Did she have the right to love a girl that, as far as she could tell, did not love her?
_ _ _ _ _
//“Would you sing a duet with me next time, Minami?” Atsuko suddenly blurted, catching Minami and the others off-guard. They stared at her curiously as she quickly turned away.
“Yeah, sure,” Minami answered after a few seconds’ recovery. “I’d love to do that, Atsuko.”//
I can’t believe I asked her like that. It’s so obvious that I was jealous.
Atsuko sat behind stage with her head in her hands, angry at herself for being so transparent.
But… she agreed.
This thought brought a smile to her face. She had taken a chance and been kindly rewarded.
But, she thought, a sad sigh again escaping her lips, Minami probably didn’t think anything strange about it.
“What’s up with you?” Atsuko looked up to find Tomochin standing before her, looking down at her curiously. “I can’t tell you how many times you just switched from happy to sad in a minute.”
“Tomochin…” Atsuko whined, reaching out to hug her friend. “I slipped up.”
“Takamina again?” Tomochin asked and she felt Atsuko nod in reply. “How so?”
“I asked her to sing a duet with me the next time.”
Tomochin scrunched her face in confusion as she patted Atsuko’s head. “I’m missing something.”
“What’s there to miss?” Atsuko huffed. “I was so obviously jealous. And despite that, Minami remains clueless about how I feel.”
“Ah, I see now,” Tomochin whispered, detaching Atsuko so she could sit beside her. “I wouldn’t say you slipped up. To be honest, it’s probably a good thing. It helped you to finally get something off your chest.”
Atsuko frowned. “Yeah, but… Yuko and Haruna were there. I’m so embarrassed.”
“I wouldn’t worry about those two,” Tomochin stated wisely, earning a confused stare from Atsuko. “They have their own issues to resolve. And it was a jealous Yuko that probably instigated this whole thing somehow, am I right?” Atsuko only stared at her in wonder now, causing Tomochin to laugh. “Don’t worry; any jealousy you showed was probably miniscule compared to Yuko’s rant. I’m surprised Takamina was still alive when I bumped into her just now.”
They sat together quietly, neither really needing to say anything more. They understood each other without relying on words. Silent companionship was the best option; it allowed both to ponder their own situation.
“Tomochin,” Atsuko said after a few minutes.
“Hmm?”
“Thank you. I think you’re the only one that can understand the frustration I feel sometimes.”
Tomochin looked at Atsuko’s honest smile and returned it in kind. “You’re welcome. Now let’s go, we’re going on soon.”
_ _ _
Miichan watched Atsuko with eagle eyes. In doing so, she was easily able to determine a couple things. Atsuko had arrived that day with her head held high, her resolve strong. There was no hesitation in her eyes. It was obvious that she had made an important decision. Not long after she arrived at the studio, she had pulled Minami aside to speak with her.
Following closely behind the two, though unnoticed, Miichan was able to make her second determination. Atsuko had since lost her courage. She was nervous, playing at the hem of her skirt. At this point, though, it was likely too awkward to back out.
Not good, Miichan thought, peeking around the corner. You can do it, Acchan! The stalker cheered her prey, hoping that Atsuko would be able to sense her encouragement. “Of course, I don’t yet know what it is, but I’m sure I’m about to find out.”
Crap. I just said that aloud, didn’t I?
“You mean you don’t know, either?” someone whispered behind her and Miichan jumped three feet in the air, covering her mouth to prevent a yelp from escaping.
“What the hell is wrong with you?” Miichan hissed, regaining her composure as she turned to face the intruder. “Why are you here?”
“I’m here for the same reason you are,” Mariko stated in a matter-of-fact tone, flicking Miichan in the forehead.
“Damn it, that hurts!”
Mariko smiled at Miichan’s complaint. “I saw you sneaking after those two so I thought I’d follow. That said, give me the low down,” she commanded, peering around the corner through a set of ‘goggles’.
“I’m not yet sure what’s going on,” Miichan admitted, rubbing her forehead. “They were just about to get to the serious stuff when you decided to scare the crap out of me.”
“Acchan’s giving something to Takamina,” Mariko observed flatly, ignoring Miichan’s accusation.
“What is it? A kiss? Let me see!” Miichan demanded, pushing Mariko aside to peek around the corner. To her dismay, the two girls being spied on were not in the midst of a lip lock. Instead, Atsuko was pressing something small into Minami’s hand. “It’s a key,” Miichan mumbled, “but to what?”
“Isn’t it obvious? It’s a key to Acchan’s house.”
Both Miichan and Mariko jumped this time as yet another person joined the conversation unexpectedly.
Yuko pointed across the hallway. “I was over there, hiding around that corner,” she said with a playful smile. “I had to creep around and do a couple backflips just to get over here unnoticed.”
Mariko rolled her eyes at the blatant exaggeration, but Miichan seemed to have bought it. “So it’s a key to her house, you said?” Mariko asked, smacking Miichan out of her state of awe.
“Oh, that’s right!” Miichan exclaimed a tad too loudly and two pairs of hands flew up to cover her mouth. She gave a small nod to indicate that it was safe and the other two released her, though a bit hesitantly. “I forgot Acchan just recently bought a house.”
Mariko gave a consenting nod. “This is a good thing. It’s a big step forward in what some call their ‘relationship’.”
“Exactly,” Yuko agreed, mimicking Mariko’s nod. “Earning the key to a girl’s house is the same as earning the key to her heart.”
“Except…” Miichan whispered, the one word enough to kill the happy atmosphere. “This is Takamina. She probably doesn’t think anything special about it.”
“Oh, right,” the other two grunted in dismay. The sound of footsteps reached their ears then, and the three immediately tried to seem as if their presence there was normal.
“Oh, hey guys,” Minami said as she rounded the corner, her voice indicating that she was a bit surprised to see them there. “What are you doing here?” Atsuko followed behind Minami, her face stoic.
“We were on our way to find you two,” Mariko offered as an excuse, and the other two nodded in confirmation.
“I see. Well, congratulations! You found us. Come on, we should head back now,” Minami proposed without any hint of suspicion.
Yuko gave a small shake of her head. “You go on ahead without us. We’re going to stop in the restroom.”
“I’ll go with them,” Atsuko stated, earning worried glances from the three spies. She watched as Minami nodded and then disappeared around the corner.
Yuko stepped forward to look Atsuko in the eyes. “Are you mad?” she asked in a small voice.
“Please don’t be mad!” Miichan begged, wrapping her body around Atsuko in a tight hug.
Atsuko shook her head. “I’m not mad,” she said, taking her time to smile at each of the others individually. “Knowing that you all were there helped me to go through with it. Thank you.”
“And?” Yuko prodded. Miichan continued to nuzzle against Atsuko’s shoulder as Mariko raised a brow at her actions.
“And… nothing, really. Actually,” Atsuko paused and gave a small laugh, earning stares from her companions. “She was embarrassed because she didn’t have anything to give me in return.”
“Typical Takamina,” Mariko stated and the others agreed.
Atsuko sighed. “She wants to give me a key to her apartment now.”
“That’s great, isn’t it? What was the sigh for?”
“To Minami it’s just a fair trade; a key for a key. She thinks I gave her a key simply for use in emergencies.”
“Well, we’ll just have to change that way of thinking,” Yuko stated, resting an arm across Atsuko’s shoulders. “In the meantime, we really should be getting back to the others.”
The other three agreed, and the four walked back together, goofing off as only good friends can.
_ _ _
I shouldn’t have come here. Minami was right; I’m bored.
Atsuko glanced around the stadium. It was crowded; Japan versus China had proved to be a popular match. The players on the pitch were playing to the best of their abilities, working hard towards their dreams, and she could relate to their determination. However, watching a soccer match was not her idea of fun.
She sighed. The fans that filled the stadium were screaming and cheering, but none more loudly than the trio she’d accompanied to the game. They were seated in a section reserved for persons of their status, the midget duo jumping excitedly in the row before her. Cheering beside her was one of the reasons Atsuko invited herself into this nightmare of an outing.
Another sigh escaped her lips. Atsuko thought back to earlier, when her emotions had gotten the better of her. She (as well as everyone else present) had overheard Yuko and Minami’s intent to go out that evening. However, Atsuko was not interested until she realized that Haruna would also be going with them.
Though Atsuko knew there was no longer any special relationship between Minami and Haruna, and that there hadn’t been for a while now, she couldn’t help but to fear that there might be lingering feelings. After all, the two were still very close friends.
Atsuko liked Haruna. She was an impressive idol. Though she gave the impression of being a dunce, she was also intelligent in her own way. She was fun to hang around with, surprisingly good with advice, and one of the kindest people that Atsuko had ever known. It was because of this that Atsuko hated these occasional instances in which she was jealous of Haruna. She hated this stewing jealousy, of which Haruna remained completely oblivious. Through these instances, however, Atsuko was beginning to discover that where Minami was involved, her heart always won over her mind.
It was because of said impulse that Atsuko reacted the way she had earlier. At the time she asked to join their outing, she had cast a glance at Haruna which Yuko noticed. It was Yuko that had convinced Minami to invite Atsuko.
Is Yuko also uncomfortable with seeing Haruna and Minami together? Or… is she trying to help me, to allow me the chance to see that there is no longer anything between them?
“Darn it, they were so close that time,” an out-of-breath Haruna said as she sat beside Atsuko. Atsuko couldn’t help but to look at the other idol as if she were some sort of alien. Never had Atsuko imagined Haruna to be the type to enjoy a soccer match to this extent. “Is something wrong?” Haruna asked, noticing Atsuko’s strange stare.
“No, not really, it’s just… I never took you to be a soccer fan, Kojiharu.”
“Is that so? I suppose most people would think that way. As it is, though, I’m the one that usually invites Yuu-chan to the games. She started bringing Takamina a couple matches ago.”
“Oh.”
“Feeling out of place?”
“A bit, yes,” Atsuko admitted with a shy smile.
“Well, Takamina did warn you,” Haruna said with a teasing smile.
Atsuko nodded. “I know; I should have listened.”
Haruna gave a small, melodic laugh. “Don’t worry. I used to simply enjoy watching a soccer match. Now I love it.”
The admission didn’t surprise Atsuko. “I can tell; you were just cheering louder than anyone else here.”
“That’s because I want to do all I can to help them win. Believe me; I’m sure that you’ll grow to enjoy a match just as much.”
Atsuko shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
A sly grin graced Haruna’s lips. “Just wait; when Japan scores, the rewards are definitely worth it.”
“Huh?”
Just then the stadium erupted in cheers, and the midgets one row down jumped up from their seats excitedly, joining in the celebration.
“We scored! We scored!”
“Japan is winning!”
Atsuko watched as Haruna’s gaze shifted from the players on the field to the two girls celebrating in the row before them. It was then that she realized a few very important things.
Firstly, Haruna didn’t come to the games simply to watch the match.
Secondly, Haruna was focused on Yuko’s radiant smile, not Minami’s.
Lastly, Atsuko knew she wouldn’t mind attending another game with Minami.
_ _ _
Atsuko was staring at the picture on her phone in disbelief.
Despite her devotion to Minami, Atsuko was no stranger to the skinship that was prevalent amongst the members. The desire to give and receive attention was only natural. Though most of her affections were directed towards Minami, Atsuko had a lot of love to share with the other members.
There were certain members that she frequented: Sae, Miichan, Jurina... and she had her occasional victims as well; Tomochin and [perhaps ironically] Yuko were a part of this group.
To her dismay, Minami never reacted the way she’d hoped. Just once she wanted Minami to react when she caught Atsuko being overly friendly with other members, but it was almost as if Minami didn’t care. For her part, Atsuko was always a little jealous when another member engaged in [attempted] skinship with Minami.
All of that now seemed to have changed, however, with a certain ‘marriage’.
Though Takahashi Minami was Atsuko’s secret true love, Minegishi Minami was quickly becoming Atsuko’s pretend love. The two had once declared their marriage, playing at being newlyweds as they posed for pictures of the happy ‘occasion’. The other members had joined in the fun, congratulating the two on their union. Even their fans had played along, wishing the two the best of luck after Atsuko mentioned the ‘marriage’ on her blog.
It had all been done in fun without any seriousness behind it. Atsuko had decided to relive the memory and began looking at the pictures again as the group waited backstage. There was nothing out of the ordinary in the images until something in the last picture caught her eye and Atsuko’s heart skipped a beat.
There she was in Miichan’s arms, the two of them posing for the camera. Minami was in the scene as well, kneeling in the foreground with an unhappy scowl. Atsuko had seen the picture a dozen times before, always thinking that Minami was putting on an act for the camera. Yet as she looked at Minami’s image once again, this time she somehow instinctively knew Minami was conveying something else.
In the picture they had taken right before the one in question, Minami was absent. Reflecting on when the photos were taken, Atsuko could remember that while the first photo was being taken, some of the other girls had tried to convince Minami to join in the fun by crashing the picture. She had adamantly refused, and by the time the second photo was taken they had only succeeded in getting her to squat in the foreground.
Why hadn’t I noticed then? She didn’t want to be in the picture. She didn’t want to be near us.
Atsuko felt a strange, tingling sensation run down her back.
No way... She was…
“…jealous. Well, maybe not quite jealous, but displeased, at least. Congratulations,” Tomochin said after Atsuko had sought her out for a second opinion. She hadn’t wanted to get her hopes up only to have them quickly dispelled. After hearing Tomochin’s statement, however, Atsuko could not control her excitement.
“You think so too?”
Tomochin simply nodded and patted Atsuko’s head. Atsuko stared back down at the photo in wonder.
Perhaps, she thought as a smile crept across her lips, I might just stand a chance at love with her after all.
_ _ _
The similarities were too strong to ignore. Here stood Atsuko, being offered a hand by the girl she liked to go follow a certain other girl to see if she was or was not dating someone. There was one important difference, however. This time, when Atsuko took the hand of the girl she liked, she felt all the symptoms of love she expected to feel. Despite how long it had been since she realized that Minami was the one that she likes, Atsuko never failed to feel her heart flutter at the touch of Minami’s hand. (After all, the occasions when Minami was the one to initiate any such affection were few and far between.)
As the two followed behind a clueless Kojima Haruna, watching in awe at one point as she tripped and rolled forward only to stand back up as if it was planned, Atsuko decided to ask one of the questions that had been nagging her from the start. She knew that Minami was not the one that Haruna liked now, but Atsuko was uncertain about Minami’s feelings towards Haruna. It was entirely possible that Minami still had feelings for the spacey idol.
“Minami, why are we stalking Kojiharu?”
Minami cast a glance at Atsuko before answering. “I’m curious. And worried, I guess. I wonder what has brought such a smile to her face.”
And there it is; the start to another heartbreak adventure.
“Do you love her?”
The question was blunt, but Minami’s step didn’t falter as they continued after Haruna. “Of course I love her. I love her just as much as I love you and all the others. She’s a very dear friend. That’s why… I care about her too much to let her risk her career for some guy.”
This is almost exactly like last time. Except… I don’t think I’ll have my heart broken this time.
No… I know I won’t. I can feel it.
Atsuko looked down at their conjoined hands and gave Minami’s hand a light squeeze. “Don’t worry,” she stated, pointing ahead at Haruna, who took a seat at a small bistro. “See?”
Minami looked forward to see Haruna greet a newly arrived Yuko, both smiling brightly. “Oh, good. She’s just meeting Yuko. But… that doesn’t mean she isn’t dating somebody.”
“Oh, she’s definitely dating somebody,” Atsuko said with a melodic laugh, finding enjoyment in Minami’s ignorance.
“What? Who? You know?” Minami asked, surprised by the sudden disclosure.
A grin graced Atsuko’s face as she pointed back across the street to the couple at the bistro. “Yuko,” she stated simply.
There was a silent pause between the two, and then,
“WHAT?!”
“Shh! Be quiet!” Atsuko hissed, clamping Minami’s mouth.
Minami batted away Atsuko’s hands. “You mean to say that the two of them are really dating? It’s not just fan service?”
“It’s real.”
Minami slowly slid to the ground behind a small hedge, a position in which she was hidden from their two friends across the street. Atsuko sat down beside her and it didn’t take long for a bewildered Minami to rest her head on Atsuko’s shoulder. They sat quietly for a few minutes, Minami in too much shock to speak and Atsuko not wanting to end the moment any sooner than necessary.
“You knew this whole time, didn’t you?” Minami whispered accusingly, breaking her few minutes of silence.
“Guilty.” Atsuko answered with a grin, finding amusement in Minami’s reactions. “Everyone else in the group knows, too.”
“Wait, how did I not know this?” Minami asked, her classic failure expression adorning her features as she pushed off Atsuko’s shoulder and stood.
“Because you’re you, Minami,” Atsuko answered truthfully as she also stood. You haven’t even realized how much I love you in all these years. A slight frown appeared on her face for just a fleeting second. And from what I’m told, it’s pretty obvious. “Like Miichan’s always saying, you probably wouldn’t recognize love even if it hit you in the face.”
“I would too!” Minami protested with a stomp of her foot. “Why does everybody always say things like that? I’m not that cluele-”
Movement across the street caught Atsuko’s attention and she reacted instantly. “Quick, get down! They’re leaving!” she said, pushing Minami back down behind the bushes while accidently socking her in the eye in the process.
“Geez, Acchan; that hurt.”
Oh no.
“I’m so sorry!” Atsuko gasped in terror. “Here, let me see.” She gently took Minami’s face in her hands, eliciting a small hiss of pain from the small girl.
I can’t believe I just hit Minami. What do I do?
Atsuko allowed instinct to takeover, and she lightly blew on the wound she’d caused, not noticing as Minami froze in reaction to the gesture. She cupped Minami’s cheek gingerly as she spoke. “It’s just a scrape and a small bump, though you might end up with a bruise. I’m so sorry, Minami.”
Please believe me.
“A-Acchan, I think I need to r-rest; my heart it beating pretty quickly and I-I don’t feel so well.”
Atsuko looked at Minami with worry filled eyes. “I’ll help you into one of those chairs. C’mon, stand up.”
“Ahem!”
It was the familiar sound of a displeased person clearing her throat to gain attention. Minami and Atsuko both froze in their ministrations and slowly looked up to find a certain couple looking down at them disapprovingly. Caught red-handed, the two cast sheepish, guilty smiles at the pair.
_
“And that’s basically it,” Atsuko neared the end of her explanation to her unhappy audience. Yuko nodded in understanding while Haruna stared at her in disbelief. “Minami just wanted to make sure that you hadn’t made a bad choice. You know how she is; she worries too much for her age.” Minami sat beside Atsuko, hiding her face in embarrassment behind a small bag of ice.
“So, let me get this straight,” Yuko began, glancing eagerly between the two younger girls. “Everyone in the group knows that Kojipa and I are really dating?”
“Yuuchan, I don’t think that’s the topic that needs to be discussed right now,” Haruna scolded, smacking Yuko in the back of the head. “What’s more important is what Takamina thinks. She was worried enough to follow me.”
Minami studied her hands in her lap as the other three turned to her. After a moment to ponder, she spoke up quietly with an honest smile on her lips. “While the rules of the group do prohibit relationships, it’s apparent that what you two share could simply be played off as fan service. And… you two are happy together. I don’t see any reason to not support you. I’ll turn a blind eye, but please… be careful. I don’t want to see either of you expelled. I’m happy for you, honest.”
“Alright!” Yuko exclaimed with a fist pump before latching onto Haruna. “See, Nyan Nyan? I knew she’d understand.”
Atsuko felt her heart jump at Minami’s answer. If she can support the two of them together, does that mean that I might have a chance? Smiling innocently, she reached her hand under the table to grab Minami’s. To her surprise, instead of pulling away, Minami responded by first going stiff and then tightening her grip. The four lingered around, chatting amicably over the din of passersby. Atsuko played with Minami’s hand, enjoying the strange reactions she evoked from the other girl. When it came time to leave Atsuko released Minami’s hand begrudgingly, but Minami surprised her by reaching down and reinstituting the contact with a small blush on her face.
“So, Acchan,” Yuko began with a teasing smile as she walked up beside Atsuko, catching the stunned idol off-guard. With Haruna on her other side, she leaned towards Atsuko to whisper, “You’re becoming quite a seasoned stalker, eh?”
_ _ _
“Ahem. Maeda-san?”
“Eh?” Atsuko’s face immediately grew red as she realized that she had spaced out yet again, on live television, no less.
“Oh, good. You are still with us,” the middle-aged male host joked with a chuckle. “We were beginning to worry that you’d been spirited away.”
“I’m sorry,” Atsuko offered with a small bow. “I got caught up in my thoughts. What was the question?” She was embarrassed, to be sure. Her appearance today was meant to help promote her latest show, yet the interview so far had been more about her personal life than the drama.
“I asked if there was anyone that you liked. Your character is a young lady in love, but as everyone is well aware, within AKB48, mutual love is prohibited but unrequited love is acceptable. Is there anyone that has unknowingly managed to capture your attention, Maeda-san?”
That’s why I spaced out; he asked about Minami. Well, not by name, but still…
It used to be that Atsuko could keep a straight poker face when anyone mentioned love in her interviews. Lately, however, she’d had trouble staying focused at the mere mention of Minami’s name, never mind the girl herself. She blamed this issue on Minami, too. When they had spied on Haruna and Yuko a while back (and been caught), Atsuko sensed something rather promising. While Atsuko sat playing with Minami’s hand under the table that day, whether intentional or not, Minami had sent signals back.
That alone had been enough to send Atsuko’s mind into chaos, but there was also their movie ‘date’ not long ago. After the reactions she’d gained spying on Haruna and Yuko, Atsuko had decided to be a bit more forward in her affections during their ‘date’, even calling it as such. Minami’s behavior in response to her actions had been rather… peculiar, and her reactions in the cab had been unusual.
“No. I haven’t met the ‘one’ yet,” Atsuko lied, giving her standard answer to the question. After all, nobody wanted an idol whose heart was no longer available.
“I think that smile on your face tells otherwise, Maeda-san, but we’ll move on.” The host gave a small, teasing smile, and Atsuko could only reply with a blush and a grateful nod as she watched the eccentric host shift in his seat before posing his next question. “You’re a very successful actress now, but everyone needs to start somewhere. One of the first dramas that you ever starred in was AKB48’s “Majisuka Gakuen”. Please tell us: As a new, young actress, which scene from that drama did you find to be the most difficult to film?”
“The most difficult?” Atsuko repeated, tilting her head cutely as she pondered the question.
“Was it perhaps one of the big fight scenes, with all the choreography?”
Atsuko shook her head. “No, it wasn’t that.” The answer had come to her naturally. “There was a scene in which I had to run into the hospital crying and watch helplessly as my best friend died before me. I didn’t like that scene, having to see Takamina die before me. It was too realistic. All I could think at the time was, ‘Please, don’t ever let me have to go through this in real life.’ It took a lot of focus to actually get through that scene.”
“And by ‘Takamina’, you mean fellow AKB48 member Takahashi Minami, correct?”
“Yes.”
“We’re going to take a short break. When we return, Maeda-san will talk more about her new drama.”
Did she even know she was doing those things? Does she remember? Do I actually stand a chance? Should I somehow inquire about it? It is Minami, though; perhaps it would be safer to just leave things as they are.
As the host stepped away to speak with the director, Atsuko watched as the image of Minami super-imposed on the screen before her was removed.
I miss her. I haven’t seen her since that 'date'. Thankfully the ‘thank you’ party is tonight, but since it is…
The host returned to his seat then and Atsuko gave him a polite smile. The two watched as one of the staff began a countdown.
…this is going to be a long interview.
End Chapter 2, Part 3
Long time no update. I hope the wait wasn't too agonizing. How are all of you?
Nothing too terribly exciting this time; basically just a lot of everyday scenes for character development. There are quite a few scenes in this Part 3 that correlate with Chapter 1 Part 3.
The next update will end Chapter 2, so it might prove to be a bit more entertaining.
I thank all of you for waiting patiently for this update.
P.S.@ iloveakb48: "I love how you write !!!" Thank you very much!
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Ahhhhh, I love it. I love you man! Please update soon!!!!! :lol:
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Ahhh I love how detailed your story is~! /o/
Also I really love how you write too.
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Hahahahah!!!! Poor 'boys', especially Sae. Wé don't know what Sayaka and Yukirin dix go her lol
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To me your chapter is exciting enough to keep my mind from worrying the election's results tomorrow while reading it. I was happy to find that you've updated your story. I check the fanfic section every day to see if you've updated and now, I can't wait for your next update since it's promised to be entertaining.
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Funny, interesting, lovely fics..
love the part when they kick out all the boys :D so funny..
my kojiyuuu finally together...
love you fic.. Im waiting for the next chapter
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I was so into reading when it ended I was whining *moreee.
:rofl: Hahaha Takamina,Sayaka and Sae - guys :mon lmao:
What I like about this fic was not of Acchans tough and her journey of back&forward thinking about Takamina.
But there are hilariously moments as well!
Miichan stalking and then came Mariko the troll and then the ninja squirrel Yuko :rofl:
Haruna fallin of the stair and then gloriously standing up again ah I remember seeing that from somewhere XD
Thank you for your update! Can't wait for next!
ArígatoU! :kneelbow:
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Apologies for the wait. Life caught up to me.
Chapter 2, Part 4 correlates with both Parts 4 and 5 of Chapter 1.
//Did she even know she was doing those things? Does she remember? Do I actually stand a chance? Should I somehow inquire about it? It is Minami, though; perhaps it would be safer to just leave things as they are.//
As the host stepped away to speak with the director, Atsuko watched as the image of Minami super-imposed on the screen before her was removed.
//I miss her. I haven’t seen her since that 'date'. Thankfully the ‘thank you’ party is tonight, but since it is…//
The host returned to his seat then and Atsuko gave him a polite smile. The two watched as one of the staff began a countdown.
//…this is going to be a long interview.//
Portraits
An AKB48 Fan Fiction
Chapter 2, Part 4 (Chapter End)
Atsuko heaved a jealous sigh as she watched the couple across the room. Yuko was harassing Haruna, as was typical. Haruna, though pushing Yuko away, was doing so with a happy smile. It was, in their own, quirky world, their way of flirting. Despite the different methods, each was paying attention only to the other. The looks they cast each other throughout their interactions were filled with nothing but love.
A love of which Atsuko was envious. A love the likes of which she was beginning to believe she would never experience with Minami.
“How did your meeting go?” a gentle, familiar voice asked and Atsuko felt her heart grow tight as the object of her ponderings sat down beside her.
“Look at them,” Atsuko stated dryly, not taking her eyes from Yuko and Haruna as she avoided answering Minami’s question.
“What about them?” Minami asked, playing along with the subject change for now.
“I’m envious. A love like theirs doesn’t happen every day.”
Minami nodded. “I suppose not.”
Atsuko held her knees to her chest and buried her face. Her body trembled slightly as she spoke again. “Akimoto-sensei has brought up the prospect of graduation.”
“Eh?!” Minami stared at Atsuko in shock, her desire for an explanation clearly evident.
“He said that he doesn’t want me to go, but fans have been accusing me of abandoning AKB for acting, and he agrees that they make a strong argument. I haven’t done much with AKB lately because of my film schedule. And when was the last time I did a theater show?” She sighed before continuing. “He mentioned how AKB is only a stepping stone to achieving one’s dream, and that I’ve achieved mine.” Atsuko could feel the tears threatening to fall from her eyes.
“Well, he’s right,” Minami said quietly. “You’ve become an amazing actress, Acchan. What reasons have you to stay?”
Atsuko’s breath caught in her throat as she fought back her tears. You’re my reason, she thought. It hurts to hear you ask me that.
“He’s advised me that the time will soon come for me to make a decision: AKB, or acting.” Minami sighed upon hearing the statement, and Atsuko refused to believe that she had sensed some relief behind it. Hearing her own voice say it, Akimoto-sensei’s words replayed in Atsuko’s mind.
/// “If you wish to remain as Maeda Atsuko, the ace of AKB48, then you must focus more on AKB48. If you wish to be Maeda Atsuko, the actress, then perhaps the time has come for you to graduate.”///
“And if you can’t make a decision?”
“I suppose one will somehow be made for me.”
Minami hung her head, hiding her face from Atsuko. “Acting is what you’ve always wanted to do, Acchan. Is it really a hard decision?”
“Do you think you’ll ever have a love like theirs, Minami?” Atsuko asked, her attention returning to the couple across the room as she bit her lip nervously.
Minami looked from Atsuko to the others, a bit confused as to the abrupt subject change. “Honestly, I… don’t know.” A light blushed tinted her cheeks.
“I see,” Atsuko mumbled sadly. I was hoping you’d say yes. Gathering her nerves, Atsuko spoke again in what was almost a whisper. “What would you do if I told you that I love you?”
There was a pause before Minami answered, “You tell me that all the time, Acchan.”
Minami was blushing feverishly now, but Atsuko remained ignorant to her friend’s honest reaction. Minami’s answer was a disappointment. It was a devastating blow to her already weakened spirit. I wish that just once you would tell me that you love me, even if it’s not as I love you. Atsuko stood quickly, freezing as she felt Minami grab her wrist, preventing her escape. She remained with her back to the other girl.
“Acchan?” It was obvious that Minami was worried about her.
“I think…. I’ll graduate.” It was a bluff, one made out of desperation in an attempt to beckon Minami’s true feelings from hiding. Please… tell me to stay.
“If that’s what you want to do, then I’ll support you one hundred percent.” Minami’s voice was firm, an indication that she truly meant what she said, but there was a hint of sadness in its tone. However, the honesty behind Minami’s words was more than Atsuko could handle. Before she had the chance to think her emotions took control, and what occurred next Atsuko would quickly grow to regret.
“You just don’t get it, do you? And you never will!” she yelled, her tears now flowing.
“Get what? What did I do now?” Minami panicked as Atsuko tried to pull free of her grasp.
“Please… just let go of me!” Feeling Minami’s grip loosen, she broke from Minami’s hold and fled, not listening as her friend called after her.
For three full months, Atsuko did not see nor speak with Minami.
_ _ _ _ _
/////
//Not this dream again.//
She huffed as she sat down in the hard wooden chair, but not until after she moved it into the warmth of the light. She’d been here enough times before to know that there was no point in wandering around. Over the past few years she’d had this reoccurring dream, though it had been appearing more frequently of late. Nothing about it ever changed, though.
That is, not until the last time she’d had the dream.
Looking down in her hands, she was only mildly surprised to find the small flower remained in her palms from last time. When she was younger, around the start of AKB48, she would often tuck one behind her ear. It was a forget-me-not, if memory served correctly.
As long as she could remember, nothing ever happened in this dream. She always sat in the hard wooden chair, simply waiting for hours until she woke up. She knew that she was waiting for someone; it was a gut feeling that she easily recognized. Yet no one ever came. In the meantime she’d explored the small, round window behind her. She was tall enough to be able to look out the window, but the light was so bright that she was unable to see anything. What she could see, however, was that to the sides of the window were letters, seen only at just the right angle. She’d only discovered them a few dreams ago.
The small window with light shining through it was, in fact, the ‘O’ from the word ‘LOVE’.
The flower, though, had only just appeared the last time she had this dream. She found it on the floor, as if it had fallen to the ground forgotten by someone else, just outside the light of the window. Now she cradled it gently. It was a sad attempt to console her in this mysterious dream.
Again she sat waiting. How many hours passed, she didn’t know. It felt like days, even, and she briefly wondered if perhaps that much time had passed in the real world as well. For who or what she did not know, but still she sat and waited. It was the one thing required of her in this dream. She fiddled with the flower in her hands before sighing in frustration. Standing to stretch, she suddenly froze.
//What was that sound?//
She strained her ears as she listened again, and she could make out the sound of hurried footsteps. They grew closer, and she instinctively placed herself behind the chair, gripping its back. As the footsteps grew even closer still, a familiar sound became audible, and she softened her grip. Backing up below the window and out of the light, she felt her breath catch in her throat.
//No; it can’t be. That’s impossible.//
A familiar tune carried in the air, the voice humming it unmistakable.
The song faded then, and with it the footsteps. Their owner stood still just yards away in the shadows, invisible to the girl hiding in the dark below the window. The hiding girl heard a small huff and then rustling, and somehow she knew that the newcomer was looking for the flower she’d found in her last dream. The singing began yet again, right where it’d left off.
Gulping nervously, the hiding girl then quietly whispered the next line of the song as she ran her fingers over the flower in her hand. She stretched her hand out into the light, allowing the newcomer to see the flower she held.
The newcomer froze for a second and then stood slowly, stepping into the light as she reached for the flower and the hand that held it. As their hands met, together they sang the last words of the song.
// “…chiisana wasurena kusa.”*//
Atsuko gasped, for she had been correct.
“Minami!” she exclaimed as she, too, stepped forward, wiping away her tears that began to fall. “All this time, I’ve been waiting here in this light for you.”
/////
“Huh? What? What’s wrong?” Minami jolted awake to find Atsuko still slumbering before her. Taking a minute to regain her senses, she realized that she was still sitting by Atsuko’s bed, the other girl having not moved an inch since Minami had sat down beside her. She slipped her hand from Atsuko’s with a sigh. “That’s weird. I swear she just called my name.”
Atsuko was out like a log, sleeping off an illness that Minami was convinced was the result of over exertion. Atsuko’s frantic schedule had finally taken its toll on her body.
They had been avoiding each other for nearly two months now, neither sure of how to apologize nor what to apologize for, and Atsuko’s busy schedule had helped to ensure they didn’t see each other. For her part, fight or not, when Minami had heard Atsuko was bedridden she had gone to her house immediately, taking the rest of the day off from a rare light work day to care for the ill girl. She’d let herself in only to find Atsuko sleeping away.
Minami reached down to brush the bangs from Atsuko’s face. “You’ve worn yourself out, Atsuko. You’re working too much.”
While Atsuko was resting Minami had taken it upon herself to tidy up the house. There were dishes to be washed, laundry to be folded, and animals to be fed. Not to mention a sick girl that constantly needed the damp cloth on her forehead to be replaced.
“Why did you run away?” Minami whispered as the memory of their misunderstanding replayed in her mind. (She refused to believe it was a fight.) “I miss you, Atsuko.” Standing with a stretch, Minami took the cloth from Atsuko’s forehead and retreated to the bathroom to soak it in cool water. She returned quickly, placing it on the slumbering idol with utmost care. Noting the time on the bedside clock, she reclaimed one of Atsuko’s hands and brought it to her lips, then, without thinking or realizing, she leaned down and placed a lingering kiss on Atsuko’s cheek. “Goodbye, Atsuko,” Minami said, stealing one last glance at her friend. “I hope you get well soon.”
Minami escaped the house quietly, leaving no trace of ever having been there.
_ _ _
All she wanted was a glimpse; just one little glimpse. Perhaps she could even see a smile, even if it was not directed at her.
In the end, she gained nothing. No glimpse; no smile.
Atsuko sat brooding on one of the couches in the dressing room. She had finally earned a day off from filming and, after hours of self-debate, stopped by the theater. She had hoped to spy on Team A’s rehearsal, her dream from a few weeks ago having reignited her desire to see Minami. She’d come just wanting to see her, not to be seen. Watching from the shadows seemed a fool-proof plan. Until her arrival, however, when she discovered that Minami had arranged for Team A an impromptu day off from rehearsal as a reward for a job well done the day before.
Here she was at the theater. No Team A, and no Minami.
So much for hoping to catch a glimpse. When did she stop sending me messages regarding Team A’s activities? She sighed, hanging her head. My acting has really kept me away that long, huh?
With nothing better to do, Atsuko had stayed and watched Team K’s practice, the kinship in the team’s atmosphere enough to lift her spirits. And, despite the discovery of Team A’s absence, Atsuko still held onto the hope of Minami appearing at the theater. The unofficial AKB captain was truly dedicated, and Atsuko had witnessed occasions in the past when Minami had come to the theater on her days off. It wasn’t guaranteed, though, and it meant a bigger possibility of her being caught by Minami.
It seemed like forever since she’d last seen Minami, and they had not parted on the best of terms. They’d been apart in the past but never like this. For months they avoided each other, not only in person but also by mail. Neither sent the other a message or mentioned the other in their respective blogs. Despite it all, however, Atsuko still believed that theirs was a strong friendship, strong enough to eventually get through this low point. All she had to do was gain the courage to speak to Minami and apologize, something more easily said than done.
The squeak of a door reached her ears and Atsuko quickly glanced up from her thoughts.
“Minami?” she gasped a bit fearfully.
“Yes, though I doubt the one you were hoping for.”
“Oh, Miichan,” Atsuko stated, sighing as she looked at the girl in the doorway. “I’m sorry, I-”
“You don’t have to sound so disappointed,” Miichan replied teasingly as she made her way over to the sofa to sit beside Atsuko. She wrapped her arms around the older girl without a second thought.
Atsuko shook her head with a small smile. “I’m not disappointed. I’m relieved, actually. I’m not ready to face her. I do miss her, though; a lot. So much that it hurts.”
“You should call her.”
Atsuko’s eyes grew wide in mild panic. “I can’t! Not after the way I acted. She didn’t deserve that kind of treatment. Besides…” she started with a heavy sigh, hanging her head in shame, “apologizing is something better done in person.”
Miichan smiled mischievously. “Well, you’re in luck, because she’s on her way here to meet me; we’re going out for dinner. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if you joined us.”
“That would be impossible right now,” Atsuko whispered, hiding her head in her hands. There was a pause in which neither spoke, and the silence was broken a moment later when the door to the room opened again and Tomochin entered. Quickly deciphering Atsuko’s morose state, Tomochin made her way over behind her friend to wrap her in a tight hug. The close contact was meant to comfort her, but Atsuko responded with tears instead.
“Ahh! You broke my wife, Tomochin!” Miichan screeched. Tomochin rolled her eyes at Miichan’s outburst and leaned closer to Atsuko, whispering comfortingly in her ear. Atsuko’ tears slowed a moment later, and she wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand.
“I… really need to talk to you two right now,” Atsuko began hesitantly.
Miichan nodded. “About what?”
Atsuko’s breath caught in her throat for a second before finally whispering, “I’m really in love, right? I mean… I’ve gone three months now without any contact with her… I still love her, right?”
“No doubts about that. It’s obvious that you came here today, the first chance you had, to see her,” Tomochin said, patting Atsuko’s head. “How is that not ‘love’?”
“Yeah, you’re kidding, right?” Miichan added, her eyes having since filled with worry. “Spat or not, you still have the hots for that midget, Acchan.” Atsuko cast a serious stare and Miichan pondered silently a moment before finally asking, “What’s this about?”
Atsuko stared at her hands in her lap and blushed. “You’ll think it’s stupid.”
“Try us.”
Sighing, Atsuko began her explanation. “I had a dream recently. It’s one that I’ve had numerous times. I sit waiting in a chair under a window in the middle of nowhere.” Atsuko didn’t notice Miichan’s eyes widen in recognition to what she’d shared as she continued. “Until the last couple times I’ve had it, nothing ever happened. Then things changed. Ultimately, Takamina showed up in my dream.”
“Big surprise there,” Tomochin joked.
“How do you know it was Takamina?” Miichan asked curiously with a tilt of her head.
Atsuko gave a small laugh. “There’s no doubt about it. I saw her, and she was singing the same song she always sings.” This time it was Tomochin’s turn to react unnoticed.
Miichan tilted her head the other direction with a small pout. “Acchan, what exactly is the problem?”
“The problem is that, just like in my dream, I’m tired of waiting. I need your help.”
Tomochin and Miichan exchanged glances. A few other members of Team K trickled in then, offering small greetings but leaving the three otherwise alone.
“What is it you need our help with?”
“Minami,” Atsuko stated. No further explanation was necessary.
“A confession would probably be most effective,” Tomochin offered.
“After an apology,” Miichan added.
Atsuko hesitated a minute before speaking. “I’m not sure about a confession. It’s Takamina. She blushes and starts stammering if I look her in the eye for more than a few seconds. She’d run away before I could say anything, and I’d never get to hear her answer.”
There was another shared glance between Miichan and Tomochin, this time accompanied by a roll of their eyes. It was obvious to everyone in the group but Atsuko that Minami’s answer would undoubtedly be positive.
“I say seduce her,” Miichan stated simply with a shrug, albeit a bit loudly. The Atsuko, Tomochin, and a few of the others that overheard her stared at her incredulously.
“Were you not listening?” Tomochin scolded. “This is Takamina. If Acchan did that she’d have a faint idol on her hands.”
“No, no, it’ll work.” Miichan dismissed her friend’s criticism with a wave of her hand.
“How?”
“Simple. With seduction, even if her mind is too frazzled to answer, her body will.” The other two stared at her blankly, so Miichan sighed in frustration. “Here, I’ll demonstrate. Acchan, you’re my wife, let me ravish you for a moment.” As Atsuko’s eyes followed her curiously, Miichan straddled her friend with unusual ease.
“Miichan, you’ve been hanging out with Yuko too much,” Atsuko teased.
“Yeah, yeah, but seriously; pretend I’m Takamina. If Takamina leaned in like this, then you…”
“Would close the distance in less than a heartbeat,” Atsuko finished.
“Exactly! If Takamina has any interest in you, she’d respond the same way if you did this to her. Even if she can’t say anything, her body would answer for her. So now, I’ll be you,” Miichan instructed, planting chaste, playful kisses on the now giggling Atsuko’s face. Tomochin and some of the others were laughing as well as Atsuko squirmed under Miichan. “And you can be-”
“Minami!” Atsuko shouted and all laughing ceased immediately. An eerie silence enveloped the dressing room as all present slowly turned to see a flabbergasted Minami in the doorway, her hand still on the door’s handle.
“S-sorry. I seem to have interrupted something. Please… continue.” Minami shut the door quickly, her face the reddest it had ever been.
Atsuko stood to chase after her, Miichan falling from her lap with a thud.
“Wait,” Tomochin said, grabbing Atsuko’s wrist.
“Tomochin, let me go!” Atsuko panicked. “I need to chase after her! We’ve avoided each other this long… if I don’t go now I might not get another chance!”
“I realize that. But there’s something you need to know first.”
“Can’t it wait?”
“No; this is important, Acchan,” Miichan answered, rubbing her now sore backside. “When did you have your last dream, Atsuko? The one with Takamina.”
“When I was sick, so about a month ago, I guess. But what does it matter? Right now I really need to follow her!”
Tomochin looked Atsuko directly in the eyes before she continued. “When she heard you’d fallen sick, Takamina left rehearsal immediately and went straight to your house.”
“Minami left rehearsal… for me?” Atsuko asked, her tone softening a bit. “Are you certain?”
“Positive. You slept the whole time, so you wouldn’t know it, but she stayed by your side the whole day. You know what that means don’t you? What you two have between you… it’s not over, Acchan.”
Atsuko nodded her head in understanding and Tomochin released her grip. “You’re still in love Atsuko,” Tomochin whispered, watching as Atsuko ran out the door with Miichan on her heels. “And your love will succeed.”
_
Minami quickly slammed the door shut in her face and turned around, her back now pressed to the door. She slumped slowly to the floor, her face pale, eyes wide in shock. Hearing footsteps, she looked up to see Yuko flanked by the Twin Towers, with the rest of Team K behind them.
“What’s wrong, Takamina? You’re blocking the doorway.” Sayaka grunted, staring down at the quivering lump that was Minami.
“C-c-con…” Minami stuttered. “They were c-c-“
“Oh, spit it out already!” Yuko huffed, the curiosity killing her.
Minami’s eyes met the others’ with the utmost seriousness. “They were c-consummating their m-marriage.”
“What? Who?” Yuko asked, her eyes now sparkling. Before she could step past Minami and look inside, however, the door flew open and Atsuko came running out…
“Minami!”
…only to trip and fall on Minami. A worry stricken Miichan came to a pause in the doorway behind them.
“Woah, Acchan!” Yuko shouted merrily, bending down to grasp the fallen Atsuko by her shoulders. “As expected of our ace! You just finished with Miichan and already you’re onto Takamina! You’re my hero!”
The sound of Sayaka’s hand meeting Yuko’s skull pealed through the now crowded hallway. “Would someone please explain what exactly is going on here?” she demanded.
End Chapter 2, Part 4 (Chapter End)
*This song's legal information will be shared at a later time.
First and foremost, thank you very much to those that replied and left such kind words. I've spent a lot of time writing and editing this story, so your opinions and encouraging words are greatly appreciated. Believe me, I read every reply and I'm thankful to each and every one of you. Perhaps when Portraits is complete I might be able to thank all of you properly.
Now to business:
1: What do you think of my dream writing skills? Haha.
2: The last scene, while important on its own, serves the main purpose of setting up Chapter 3.
3: Honestly, Chapter 3 is a royal mess right now. It's going to take quite some time to get it to an acceptable state. That said, please wait patiently.
4: As always, please don't hesitate to ask questions.
I hope this update has not disappointed.
P.S.: I've posted a couple Majisuka one shots. Check 'em out if you're bored (and haven't yet done so.) Warning: They're rather different than Portraits.
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ohai!! an update!!
gahhh... confessions
i'll be waiting for the next chapter :twothumbs
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Yeah an update! I'm so happy. Even though it's shorter than last time but I'm still satisfied. Your dream-writing skill is good. I like how their dreams are related to each other. So the whole group knows that Minami loves Acchan too? These two need to get over their shyness and the thought of "she doesn't love me" and confess to each other.
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wow amazing!! love it..
jaja they are consumming the marriage jaj so funny.. takaboy are jelousy maybe?...
good plan miichan :Dseduce her wifey :D
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Oh wow! Finally I found new fic of ATSUMINA to wait for updates!
At first I was a bit confused on how the story was written [I'm so sorry I don't read the author's notes Heheee] but as I read it thoroughly I was amazed by the story. It was well written, giving elaborate point of view by the main characters. I LOOOOOVE IT!!! :luvluv2:
Also, I always love the story wherein Acchan always fell in love first and TakaMina's the last one to realize it. And that dream they have in common.. Gaaah it was priceless!!!! great story to add! GREAT JOB on this fic!
Please continue updating!! I'll be waiting for your updates!!! :nya:
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Another very well written story. I am waiting for the update, and finally! Thankyou very much. I like how the story was written.
added to my favorite atsumina series. :heart:
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Good job !
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I have returned!
Short Author's Note:
Chapter 3 'reads' differently, as it isn’t focused on any one person. For the most part formatting remains the same: scene separations with one underscore indicating a minor change and three meaning a complete change altogether. Narrative sections, if any, will be minimal. As might be noticed when reading, Chapter 3 has fewer but longer scenes than the previous chapters. Also, while Chapters 1 and 2 spanned a period of several years, Chapter 3 will only cover about one year's worth of time (eighteen months at most). That being said, the time that passes in between scenes is very short compared to the time in between scenes in the first two chapters.
Enjoy!
Minami quickly slammed the door shut in her face and turned around, her back now pressed to the door. She slumped slowly to the floor, her face pale, eyes wide in shock. Hearing footsteps, she looked up to see Yuko flanked by the Twin Towers, with the rest of Team K behind them.
“What’s wrong, Takamina? You’re blocking the doorway.” Sayaka grunted, staring down at the quivering lump that was Minami.
“C-c-con…” Minami stuttered. “They were c-c-“
“Oh, spit it out already!” Yuko huffed, the curiosity killing her.
Minami’s eyes met the others’ with the utmost seriousness. “They were c-consummating their m-marriage.”
“What? Who?” Yuko asked, her eyes now sparkling. Before she could step past Minami and look inside, however, the door flew open and Atsuko came running out…
“Minami!”
…only to trip and fall on Minami. A worry stricken Miichan came to a pause in the doorway behind them.
“Woah, Acchan!” Yuko shouted merrily, bending down to grasp the fallen Atsuko by her shoulders. “As expected of our ace! You just finished with Miichan and already you’re onto Takamina! You’re my hero!”
The sound of Sayaka’s hand meeting Yuko’s skull pealed through the now crowded hallway. “Would someone please explain what exactly is going on here?” she demanded.
Portraits
An AKB48 Fan Fiction
Chapter 3, Part 1
Miichan was by no means ignorant of the love running rampant around her.
She had seen it all, from the start of AKB to the present. She had been there for everything, though the others often did not know. She had seen all the friendships being born. She had seen the way certain members looked at certain other members. She watched the fallings in and out of love with sharp, cautious eyes.
She saw Atsuko fall out of and then in love in one day, her heart broken in the span of a few hours. She watched Yuko going through each day with a fading smile until one day it shone brightly. She saw all of the interactions among the hordes of AKB members, all of the potential couples to be made.
Miichan had witnessed certain events as well, though no one knew that, either. She had been there for the birth of Minami and Haruna’s relationship. They had been careless, really, kissing in a break room used by the drama’s entire crew. (Though if ever asked, she would be quick to admit that it was a bit odd seeing two girls dressed as guys kissing.) Even if she hadn’t witnessed their kiss, the touches and whispers the two were suddenly sharing would have given them away anyway. Coincidentally, she had also seen the end of their relationship, having followed Minami on the same day that Yuko and Atsuko had followed Haruna. She, however, had gone into the bakery, and with her face hidden behind the menu she had heard every word. At the time, though, there was no way to clean up the window spies’ misunderstanding.
That had been the day Yuko’s smile disappeared and Atsuko’s heart had fallen into turmoil. The ace’s aloof behavior the next day had been a bit too obvious. It had been Miichan that clarified the situation, tipping off Yuko that Haruna and Minami had in fact split up that day in the cafe. As predicted, Yuko immediately informed Atsuko, and friendships (as well as crushes) were patched and maintained.
Miichan knew it all. She knew that Atsuko had first liked Yuko. She knew that Yuko genuinely loved Haruna, and wasn’t just a perverted squirrel-like nuisance. She knew that Haruna reciprocated Yuko’s feelings. She knew that Haruna and Minami still loved each other, though not to any extent beyond close friendship. She knew that Atsuko was now (and had almost always been) head over heels in love with Minami. She knew that Atsuko and Minami had some sort of misunderstanding, resulting in the two opting to avoid each other rather than reconcile things.
Most importantly, Miichan had an inkling about the subject of their misunderstanding, and she knew that Minami could be as dense as a brick. So when she had seen Atsuko sneak into the theater and stick around, Miichan had called Minami and invited her out to eat, with the stipulation that Minami first meet up with her at the theater.
Yes, Minegishi Minami was no ignoramus. So when she reached the door to find a flustered Atsuko on a panicked Minami (her plan of goodwill having since gone horribly awry), Miichan put two and two together in an instant, blurting out the first remedy she conceived.
“Takamina, it wasn’t what you think.”
The hell, Minegishi? Mii-chan thought with a face-palm. That’s the worst thing you could have said.
“Wh-what do you mean it wasn’t what I think? And why would it even matter what I think? A-Acchan, p-please get off me; I don’t feel so well,” Minami pleaded, refusing to look at the upset girl sprawled atop her.
Miichan leaned down and grabbed Atsuko’s elbow, taking the chance to offer Atsuko the last of her sage advice. “Don’t worry Acchan; you’re madly in love, and you definitely stand a good chance of winning the grand prize,” she whispered in Atsuko’s ear as she helped her to stand. Atsuko looked at Miichan incredulously, not yet fully comprehending what Miichan had disclosed.
No longer pinned downed by two people, Minami stood slowly and brushed herself off. Suddenly remembering her current situation, she stole one last glance at Atsuko before running away down the hallway. The team K members gathered in the hallway simply stepped aside, watching curiously as she ran away.
“What are you doing?” Miichan shouted, distraught. “Don’t move out of the way, catch her!”
“Twin Towers, after her!” Yuko shouted, pointing in the direction Minami had run with one hand as she rubbed her newly acquired bump with the other.
“ROGER!” the two replied in accented English, snapping to attention with a mock salute before turning and chasing down Takamina.
_
Hearing footsteps quickly approaching from behind, Minami swiftly rounded another corner. Just ten more yards and she would be free, out on the busy streets of Akihabara.
And away from Atsuko, she thought. Just as she was about to step through the door, however, she was stopped in her tracks by a strong grip on the back of her collar, choking her and forcing her to the ground.
“C’mon, girl; time to go back now,” Minami heard Sayaka say in a sing-song voice usually reserved for pets or small children. The strong Team K captain began dragging her back down the hallway by her collar.
“Wah! Help!” Minami whined, reaching out to Sae. “Sae-chan! Help me!” She flailed wildly in a vain attempt to break free of Sayaka’s grip.
“Sorry, Takamina, no can do.”
“I can’t go back there! I’m not ready to face her!”
Sayaka stopped then, not far from the hallway where the whole debacle had begun. “That’s it!” she shouted as she released her grip on the smaller girl, having since grown tired of fighting with her captive. Minami remained stunned in a heap on the floor. “Both of you are grown adults, Takamina. Whatever it is that happened between you and Acchan has not only affected the two of you but the whole group as well. Obviously there’s an important issue that requires resolution, and this is a perfect opportunity for it. So you had better stand up and walk back to Acchan on your own two feet or so help me I will stuff you in a bag like I did with Yuko and carry you back.”
Minami gulped nervously under Sayaka’s intense gaze. She could see Sae gesturing wildly behind her counterpart in what Minami finally realized was an attempt at warning her to comply, else Sayaka’s threat would definitely be put to action.
“Well?” Sayaka grunted. “Which will it be? Which do you think would make a better impression?”
“Alright; I’ll go back, on my own two feet.” Minami sighed resignedly as she slowly picked herself up from the floor for the second time that day. “I’m sorry that others have had to suffer due to my immaturity.” What Sayaka said had struck its mark. Minami had not been aware that her riff with Atsuko (if that’s what it was) had brought discord upon the group. It was her responsibility to put the group before such personal matters and it hurt to hear that she had failed.
I understand now the dangers that relationships can pose to this group, and to think, Atsuko and I are only friends.
_
“You two need to kiss and make up already.”
“What?!” Minami shouted in disbelief. The prior statement had been made by Yuko and supported with a nod from Miichan.
Minami and Atsuko had been forced to sit next to each other on the sofa in the dressing room and were told to ‘ponder their situation’ as the others from Team K began to leave for the day. They found it impossible to meet each other’s gaze, and both would blush and quickly look away if they did happen to make eye contact. The Twin Towers stood guard at the door and swiftly locked it tight when the last unnecessary member had left. Thus began Miichan and Yuko’s ‘interrogation’, with a declaration that all would be made better with a kiss.
“I don’t see how a kiss would solve anything,” Minami protested, hiding her blushing face.
“On the contrary,” Miichan objected, “a kiss would solve everything.”
Minami huffed. “You two aren’t making any sense.”
“No, it makes perfect sense,” Yuko countered.
“Acchan,” Minami whispered, finally acknowledging the girl next to her. “Why won’t you say something?” Her plea finally garnished a response from the unusually quiet girl as she watched Acchan grip her skirt tighter.
“Could all of you please leave?” Acchan asked, not lifting her gaze from the floor. The tone behind the statement was a bit threatening and Minami stood to leave, having quickly grown more apprehensive of her current predicament. “Not you,” Atsuko sighed, rolling her eyes as she pulled Minami back down to once again sit beside her.
Yuko and Miichan both glanced between the two seated in front of them before glancing at each other, concluding with a firm nod that leaving the two alone would be a safe action.
“Alright, we’ll leave the room,” Miichan replied. “You two had better hurry and make up, though, because I really do want to go out to eat.”
“You heard the girl; we’ll be right outside,” Yuko said, narrowing her eyes menacingly. “That means no- ouch!” Yuko spun around to glare at Sayaka. “I didn’t even say anything yet!”
Sayaka stared down at the shorter girl chidingly. “No, but we all know you were about to say something uncalled for; come, let’s leave them alone,” she said, guiding Yuko out of the room expertly.
Tomochin, who had stood silently behind the sofa this entire time, simply gave both Minami and Atsuko a reassuring hug before leaving the room. The two were soon left alone, neither sure of what to say.
“So, umm…” Minami started, but she hesitated, drawing in a quick breath as silence quickly settled between them yet again, only to be broken a moment later. “I’m glad to see that you’re feeling better,” she finally mumbled, the silent atmosphere having become too much to bear.
“I am; thank you,” Atsuko whispered before meeting Minami’s gaze with a smile. Noticing that the attitude she’d heard in Atsuko’s voice just moments before had disappeared, Minami breathed a relieved sigh. Atsuko gave a small, guilty chuckle at Minami’s apparent relief. “I hear that you came over and cared for me while I was ill. Thank you. I appreciate it.”
Minami turned away to hide her embarrassment. “Eh, it was nothing. But… when I heard you were sick, I suddenly felt compelled to see you, to do everything I could to help you. Acchan… I’ll admit that I’m a bit worried and upset with you; you’re working too much and too hard; our bodies weren’t made to handle such workloads.”
Atsuko sighed, still refusing to meet Minami’s gaze. “I know; it’s not the only time I’ve been so exhausted lately.” Then, without any hesitation or warning, Atsuko looked over at the girl beside her and spoke, tears threatening her eyes. “I should never have run away like that; I felt mortified. I took on so much work outside of AKB so that I wouldn’t have to see you, Minami.”
“Acchan…” Minami’s voice had developed a small whimper and she looked up at Atsuko with pleading eyes. “Atsuko, I don’t know what I did or said to make you run away like that, but I’m sorry. I’m really sorry. And I’ve missed you so much so please, can we stop avoiding each other?”
What is that? Hiding behind her tears, wondered Atsuko, studying the young woman before her. Worry? Honesty? Or…
“I missed you too, Minami,” Atsuko said, crying as she trapped a surprised Minami in a tight hug. “I was an idiot. I’m sorry that I let my emotions get the better of me like that.”
As Minami brought her hands up to return the hug, she noticed that once again, her heart was beating furiously at Atsuko’s touch, and she wondered for just a moment if Atsuko felt the same. Without a second thought, she buried her face in Atsuko’s neck and cried.
_
“How are things going?” Yukirin asked as she arrived outside the dressing room. She stood with her arms crossed, a misleading grin on her face. “Am I late?”
“Just on time,” Sayaka greeted with a meager smile.
“What’s the Black Princess doing here?” Sae asked, somewhat fearfully, looking to Sayaka for an answer.
“I called her here,” Sayaka admitted, patting Sae’s head reassuringly. “No matter the outcome of what’s happening in that room, it affects all of AKB48. If the ace and captain are no longer on good terms with each other, the camaraderie within AKB could be endangered. As a fellow captain, I felt that Yukirin should be here for the potential aftermath.”
“What about Oba?”
“Her team’s pretty new; she has other things to focus on; she needn’t worry about this.”
“Okay, I can understand that. So what is she doing here?” Sae gestured toward the newly arrived Haruna with a confused expression, looking this time at Yuko for an answer.
“Nyan Nyan!” Yuko shouted, tackling Haruna in a flying hug. “I invited her, of course. We are going out to eat, after all, and there’s a good chance that drinks might be involved, so I couldn’t go without my Kojipa!”
Haruna nodded. “When Yuu-chan told me what was happening, I wanted to come. Their avoiding each other has gone on long enough. I wish the best for the both of them and being here supporting them is the best that I have to offer.”
“Agreed,” Miichan said with a simple nod. “So, why is she here?” she asked, pointing at Mariko, who had arrived with Haruna.
“You messaged me, remember?” Mariko replied, flicking Miichan in the forehead, an action which elicited a pained squeak from the younger girl. “You said that there was something big happening, and that with any luck we were all going out to eat afterwards. Well, I’m hungry, and,” she paused, bringing her ‘goggles’ up to her face, “I’m rather curious to see how things are going to play out.”
“So how are things in there?” Haruna asked while reflexively dodging Yuko’s advances.
The others simply looked at each other, uncertain of how to answer, before Sae finally spoke up. “They’ve been crying for a good fifteen minutes now,” she stated nonchalantly with a shrug, earning a glare from Sayaka for her indifference.
“We don’t really know,” Yuko said with a small pout, glancing at Tomochin. “Tomochin won’t let us near the door, so we can’t eavesdrop.” The others looked at the door’s guard, who shook her head ‘no’ with a small sigh.
“They deserve to not have you spying on them for once,” Tomochin scolded.
“Well then how do you think things will turn out?”
“It’ll work out alright,” Tomochin offered after a moment, though the way that she had said it was uncomfortably reminiscent of a prayer. The others simply nodded in agreement as they nervously focused their eyes on the door before them.
_
Atsuko and Minami sat side by side on the small couch, hand in hand. Both had red, puffy faces, the trails of their tears still visible on their cheeks. Casting side glances at each other, they gave small, honest laughs at their current pathetic conditions. Having done nothing but cry constant tears in each other’s arms for the past fifteen minutes, both were nervous about the inevitable conversation.
“I’m sorry that I ran away from you,” Atsuko whispered, rubbing her thumb on Minami’s hand. “I feel like a fool. There’s no way that you could have known what I was thinking or feeling and you didn’t deserve that.”
“I’m just glad that you’re not mad at me,” Minami stated, relieved. “I still don’t know what it was I said that made you so upset.” She paused a moment before adding, “That’s the first fight that we’ve ever had, and I don’t want to do it ever again.”
“Minami…” Atsuko began hesitantly, suddenly unable to meet Minami’s intense gaze. “When you said that you would support me if I wanted to graduate… did you mean that?”
“I did,” Minami sighed.
“How could you be so supportive of me leaving?”
“That’s easy; because you’re my best friend and I love you. No matter what, I’ll support you.”
The words were nothing but honest, and as Atsuko looked into the blushing Minami’s eyes she could see that the other girl would honor them fully.
Just not as I love you, Atsuko thought sadly.
“Will you?”
“Will I what?” Atsuko replied, shaken from her sad thoughts.
“Graduate.”
That one word alone possessed a fine amount of gravity, and Minami’s voice held a sadness that Atsuko immediately detected. A small smile graced her lips. “No. Not yet, at least.”
“Not yet?”
“C’mon, Takamina,” Atsuko said teasingly, giving Minami a playful shove. “We all have to graduate at some point.”
“I suppose that’s true.” There was a brief pause, and then, “Atsuko?”
“Hmm?” Atsuko turned to see Minami staring intently at the ground.
“Atsuko… these past few months, when you haven’t been here…” Minami’s voice trailed off for a moment and she gave a reflexive shake of her head before continuing. “Those months were very painful for me. There were many times when I would turn to talk to you but you weren’t there. And… I don’t ever want to experience that again.” Minami stood from the couch then and began pacing in front of Atsuko, her nerves getting the better of her.
“Minami…” Atsuko gasped. As she listened to Minami speak so candidly, she watched as a certain emotion made its presence known in the speaking girl’s eyes and voice.
“A-and then there are the times when I think about you, or even now, when we hold hands like this, like we always have, and I get washed over with these strange emotions, and… I know I’m rambling but I guess what I’m trying to say is that…” Here Minami’s pacing ceased, and as she looked Atsuko directly in the eyes, Atsuko felt her heart leap in her chest. “Atsuko, please, let’s never let this happen again. I don’t think that my heart can take it. You know, it just doesn’t feel right without you there beside me. I… well….I missed you, I guess. I’m not entirely sure what it is I’m feeling, but I care about you, Atsuko. I love you; you’re my best friend.” Minami’s voice trailed off then, its owner now too confused and embarrassed to be able to formulate words.
“Minami…” Atsuko gasped again. It was there; she was 100% sure it was there. There was love in Minami’s eyes, the kind of love that Atsuko felt for Minami; the kind of love that Atsuko had waited years to receive from the other girl, and in that instant she knew that she’d been a fool for not having realized it sooner. What Miichan had whispered in Atsuko’s ear not long ago suddenly made sense; Minami was in love with her, as much as Atsuko was in love with Minami. However, it was apparent to Atsuko that there was one (rather large) issue that needed to be resolved before she could obtain the happiness that she desired.
A hand rested on her shoulder then, and as Atsuko was shaken from her revelations she found that Minami was now kneeling before her with worry. “Atsuko, are you okay? I know what I said might sound a little strange but I really needed to say it and-”
“Minami.” It was one word; just a name, and yet it was the start of something that could change Atsuko’s life forever. “Minami… Right now that last thing I’d even think about is leaving. When I said that I was going to graduate… I let my emotions get the better of me. I have many good reasons to stay in AKB, but one most especially.”
You.
“Oh!” Minami exclaimed, jumping up excitedly as the words reminded her of something she’d been told all those months ago. “Come to think of it, Mariko-sama had said that you had a good reason to stay but she wouldn’t tell me what it was. She said I had to ask you. Can you tell me, Atsuko?”
Atsuko cast Minami a coy smile. “I’ve been waiting for years for something to be realized; I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you what that something is.” I was hoping that you would love me, but now that I know you do, I’m waiting for you to realize and accept that what you’re feeling is a love beyond our special friendship.
“I see,” Minami mumbled with a slight pout. “That was kind of vague, Acchan.” The remark drew a small giggle from Atsuko, and Minami shot her a displeased glare. “Ah, I know!” Minami exclaimed, recovering from her displeasure as she knelt before Atsuko yet again. “Can’t you give me a hint?”
“A hint?”
“You know, a hint,” Minami repeated with a goofy grin. “Something that might help me figure out what it is you’re waiting for; maybe I can help you to gain it.”
Atsuko looked upon Minami’s smiling face as a sigh of mixed emotions escaped her lips. A daring thought sprung to mind, and with a nervous laugh she stood, guiding Minami to stand as well. “Alright, I’ll give you a hint,” she said playfully. “However, the hint comes at the price of a promise.”
“A promise?”
“Yes, a promise. Minami, I promise to never run away from you again, so long as you promise to do the same.”
Minami tilted her head curiously. “I’m not sure I understand, Atsuko, but I promise that no matter the circumstances, I will never run away from you.”
Hearing the devotion in Minami’s words, Atsuko leaned forward, and in one fluid motion wrapped her arms around Minami’s neck and captured the stunned girl’s lips in her own. She pulled away a moment later leaving a red, speechless Minami behind as she walked towards the door. “Good job not running away, Minami,” she teased as she stepped through the door, their friends waiting outside anxiously. The door closed behind her, Minami still frozen in place.
_
“So spill; how’d things go in there?” Miichan asked excitedly, bombarding the newly emerged Atsuko with the one question that was on all their minds.
“Things… went well,” Atsuko answered honestly, smiling as she looked over her friends’ relieved faces. “Our misunderstanding has been cleared up. And like you said, a kiss solved all our problems.”
“You didn’t?!” Yuko exclaimed in disbelief, gasping as she received a simple smirk from Atsuko as an answer. “You did! Nyan Nyan, I want a kiss, too!” Yuko exclaimed, inspired by Atsuko’s gallantry.
“What? You finally confessed?” Mariko asked, as she and the others watched amusedly as Haruna easily rejected Yuko’s advances.
Atsuko shook her head. “No… not quite. But… I do know now that she loves me. You all probably think I’m an idiot since it’s taken me this long to realize.” There was a resounding chorus of polite denial before the others broke into guilty laughter.
“Why didn’t you confess?” Tomochin asked curiously, ceasing their laughter as she placed a hand on Atsuko’s shoulder. “You had the perfect opportunity, and you know that she likes you.”
A dark shadow crossed Atsuko’s face as she answered. “She-” Atsuko sighed, taking a deep breath a moment later before finally admitting on the brink of tears, “It seemed to me that Minami hasn’t fully realized that what she’s feeling is a love beyond friendship, and if she has, she doesn’t seem to have accepted her feelings.” The admission spurred a group hug, and the now giggling Atsuko was quickly tackled beneath the others.
“Well, I suppose you take what you can get,” Sae commented, resulting in more laughter.
“So the kiss…?” Yuko asked, wriggling her eyebrows suggestively and earning a coy smile from Atsuko.
“Was a hint, to help her realize what it is she’s really feeling for me. And when she does realize, she’ll know how I feel about her.” Atsuko was blushing now as she bared her feelings.
“Do you think she will?”
Atsuko nodded firmly. “I do,” she stated before gently smiling as tears threatened her eyes yet again. “The question now is if when she does realize how she feels about me… will she accept those feelings, or will she break her promise and run away?”
All present stood in awe, watching as a lone tear slowly slid down Atsuko’s cheek. The moment was interrupted then as a stomach’s gurgle was heard from within the gaggle.
“Ah, it’s definitely dinner time,” Miichan confessed with a laugh. “I did invite Takamina out to dinner, after all.”
“We’ll go get her,” Yukirin offered, casting a glance at Sayaka which the other captain returned before heading towards the dressing room. As if on cue, the door opened up to reveal the short, beloved member.
“Umm… hey, everybody; let’s go eat?” the still dazed Minami proposed with a smile, red-faced as she stood scratching her head sheepishly.
“NOT SO FAST!” Sayaka shouted, once again in English, and the others stood dumbfounded as she and Yukirin each grabbed Minami by an arm and ushered her back into the dressing room, the door clacking shut behind them.
“Acchan,” Tomochin whispered, taking Atsuko’s hand and giving it a light squeeze. “You and I both know that Minami is not one to break promises.”
Smiling, Atsuko wiped away the last of her tears.
_
“Be honest, Takamina; is everything okay now between you and Acchan?” Yukirin asked, standing just inches away from Minami, looking down on her. “The rift between you two was affecting everyone, and we need to know that all will be alright now.”
“Not to mention the effect that it’s had on the both of you,” Sayaka added, her position mirroring Yukirin’s. “Acchan worked herself too hard, to the point of exhaustion, and your happy meter has barely been off the ground these past few months.”
“Yup, we’re fine now; why wouldn’t we be?” Minami answered, her words a bit too quick and her voice a bit too chipper. The two looming over her were certainly intimidating and she was afraid to upset them. Her charade, however, did not convince them.
Sayaka stared down at Minami questioningly now. “You sound uncertain…”
It was Yukirin’s turn to mirror Sayaka. “A bit too uncertain.”
Minami wavered under their intense glances, caving into their desire for further explanation. “We’re fine, honest. We won’t be avoiding each other anymore. Things might even be better than they were before, so you don’t have to worry about the group. It’s just…”
“Just?”
“Well… I’m a bit confused about some things now, but it’s not anything that will affect the whole of AKB. At least, I pretty sure it won’t. Well… I don’t… maybe… umm…”
“Spit it out, Takamina.”
“I… have some thinking to do. That’s all.”
Sayaka and Yukirin shared curious yet knowing glances before finally stepping away, much to Minami’s relief. With a smile, she led the other two toward the door.
“Thanks, you two,” Minami muttered as the three neared the exit.
The K and B captains again shared glances before finally answering in unison, “For what?”
“For caring not only about your friends, but also for AKB48 as a whole.”
They left the room and joined the others, everyone in the group now smiling. Not one pair of eyes missed seeing Minami silently and hesitantly grab Atsuko’s hand as the hungry group of girls exited the theater, only to release it when they reached the restaurant. For the rest of the evening, Minami could not bring herself to meet Atsuko’s gaze, let alone speak normally with her. Atsuko, though, was not bothered by this; she was simply happy enough to be by Minami’s side once again, the hand that had briefly held hers a sign of what might come to be in the future.
End Chapter 3, Part 1
Thanks for returning and reading!
We've had quite a bit of comedy in these past two parts, but the story is going to maintain its more serious, realistic tone.
I reserve the right to edit this section, though hopefully that right will never need to be enacted.
I hope this update wasn't disappointing.
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OMG!! takaboy you are so slow!!!.. but acchan can help you..
like the chapter I think the thing could happen like that.. minami have a large way to walk towards atsuko´s feeling :D
love it.. maybe some jelousy can help to minami..
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Some progress I see has been made but just a tiny bit though it's expected of Takamina.
I wish I could say more but I rather wait to the next update(s) to articulate more on what I want to say. :')
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I don't think your update is disappointing. I like it as how even though Acchan knew about Takamina's feelings, she still chooses to let her realize it herself, which is rather a wise move because as how Takamina is now, even if Acchan had told her she wouldn't accept it and may cause a riff in their relationship again. Let her heart take her to truth.
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acchan...you need make more moves to takamina... :fap
I like the progress....i'm really happy takamina,little by little,realize her feelings for acchan...
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:) Yeas can't wait for next update!
Mariko-sama's Yuri goggles made me laugh :rofl:
Hopefully everything will be fine and Takamina come on are you still uncertain?
Now you must know that Accchan have feeling for you anyway...
Thank you for your update!
ArígatoU! :kneelbow:
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Can I go in a corner now and cry at how beautiful this fanfic is? ...Like you have no idea how amazing this is...it's as though I've found a place I belong! :panic: I usually can't express my fangirling through comments but I really really enjoyed reading. (I barely moved the whole day, because I was too happy. I even knocked out from the lack of sleep, but woke up soon after barely being able to see, yet trying to continue reading.) I don't know how to convince you to update it sooner though, because I know you're already doing a great job BUT I seriously want you to know that I sooo appreciate the magic you have worked into this awesome Atsumina fic. :jerk: This tops my list for most satisfying fanfics I've ever read ever since I've first walked into the world of fics.... :bow: :bow: :bow: I love love you author :cathappy: In every chapter I can't even put it into words how wonderfully you were able to bring out the characters. I wasn't confused at all, just euphoric. I'mm soo looking forward to the next part and how everything will be... I don't like waiting, but it can't be helped. I wondered how I stumbled upon your fic again? ...Tumblr maybe? I don't even remember...my mind is filled with the story, I'm not even sure if I can fully function right anymore ahah. Well, I promise to comment and thank every update until this work is finished just know it is loved :wub:
--- Your obsessive reader :grin:
Oh and sorry I rambled, I was just too into it. Need to know what happens next! :sweatdrop:
Might I say despite Autsumina being :heart: Miichan is awesome too ahaha!
The last update, seemed like such a happy ending already though lol.
The last scene with them holding hands and such..omg I was smiling with the characters till the end of that :')
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oh pleaaaaase update soon!!!i want to know more^^
The story is great, i can't wait! :drool:
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Aaaaah please update soon, i want to know more, i want more Atsumina!!!^^ :thumbup :thumbup :thumbup :D
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Fear not, for I have returned! (Were any of you even remotely pondering the chance that I might never come back?) Chapter 3 is proving to be very difficult to organize. I've been debating for months now what order the "main" scenes should be placed in, and it's especially hard when most of the "in between" scenes are yet to be written. I greatly appreciate your patience.
Notes for future readings: Ultimately, this is a fan fiction story. While I have made references to actual events in past chapters, there will be events in upcoming parts that are entirely fabricated by yours truly.
I think some of you eagle-eyed readers may have already caught on to something important in Part 1. That being said, please, read on and enjoy.
One more thing, in regard to this update specifically: please don't hate me. I've said it numerous times, and those of you that are also writers know very well that the story writes itself.
“Thanks, you two,” Minami muttered as the three neared the exit.
The K and B captains again shared glances before finally answering in unison, “For what?”
“For caring not only about your friends, but also for AKB48 as a whole.”
They left the room and joined the others, everyone in the group now smiling. Not one pair of eyes missed seeing Minami silently and hesitantly grab Atsuko’s hand as the hungry group of girls exited the theater, only to release it when they reached the restaurant. For the rest of the evening, Minami could not bring herself to meet Atsuko’s gaze, let alone speak normally with her. Atsuko, though, was not bothered by this; she was simply happy enough to be by Minami’s side once again, the hand that had briefly held hers a sign of what might come to be in the future.
Portraits
An AKB48 Fan Fiction
Chapter 3, Part 2
_ _ _
Peeking out from behind a few of the other senbatsu members present, Oshima Yuko eyed her prey cautiously, the girl in her sights sitting across the waiting area seemingly staring off into space. There were still thirty minutes left until the television interview, a half an hour which in Yuko’s mind equated to thirty minutes of prime cuddle time.
With an eager smile, she quickly moved behind another cluster of chatting girls just a few feet closer to her target, the confused members giving her curious looks before realizing the reason behind her actions. Closer to her goal, Yuko quickly ducked behind a full clothes rack before slowly and quietly tip-toeing behind her prey.
“Nyan-Nyan!” she shouted, immediately reaching out to grope the other girl but failing miserably as Haruna easily dodged the affectionate attack.
“No fair,” Yuko whined as she gave Haruna a proper hug. “You were staring off into space again so I thought for sure that I’d be able to successfully sneak up on you this time.”
“Sorry, Yuuchan, but I always know when you’re nearby,” Haruna explained with a soft smile, her words earning an even bigger smile from her girlfriend.
“That just proves how special I am to you!” Yuko cheered, posing proudly. The comment caused Haruna to blush, a rare occurrence while they were together with other members. “So why were you staring off into space?” Yuko asked, following the red-faced Haruna’s example as she took a seat at the table in the room’s center.
“I wasn’t spaced out. I was watching Takamina.” Seeing Yuko’s confusion (and was that jealousy?), Haruna nodded to a certain couple across the room. Upon seeing them, Yuko’s eyes twinkled with curiosity.
“What about her?” Yuko asked, her gaze not leaving the couple before her. Atsuko was asleep, lying across four chairs with her head in Minami’s lap. Haruna and Yuko watched as Minami stopped a passing staff member to ask him something, the man nodding and quickly disappearing soon after.
A warm smile graced Haruna’s lips. “Just watch; there’s something… peculiar happening.”
“Do you mean peculiar as in how Takamina can’t seem to get a word out today?”
Again Haruna nodded. “Just watch; you’ll see.”
Doing as told, Yuko watched as Minami stole a glance at the slumbering Atsuko in her lap, immediately flushed red, and then quickly looked away, making it a point to look at anything but Atsuko.
“Wow,” Yuko muttered. “Acchan’s not even awake and Takamina’s getting embarrassed about something just looking at her.”
Haruna chuckled in agreement as she turned away from her current source of amusement. Scanning the room full of girls, her eyes settled on the other member she sought. “Mii-chan!” she called softly, inviting the said girl over with a small wave of her hand.
“What’s up?”
Pointing across the room at Minami once again, Haruna whispered with a smile, “Watch.”
It was then that the staff member from earlier returned with a blanket, draping it over the sleeping Atsuko as Minami smiled gratefully. As he stepped away, Minami again looked down at Atsuko before quickly turning her gaze away, though this time she seemed not to notice that she was gently running her fingers through Atsuko’s hair.
“Huh,” Miichan grunted. “That was odd.”
“Something’s up,” Yuko stated, earning sounds of agreement from the other two.
“Takamina’s acting even more oddly around Atsuko than she usually does,” Haruna began. “I’ve only ever seen her act this way once before, years ago. It’s almost as if…” She trailed off then, allowing Miichan and Yuko to each make her own conclusion. All three shared a knowing glance.
“Perhaps we should give her a little push?” Yuko suggested with a playful smile.
“Acchan did say she was tired of waiting,” Miichan added.
“Maybe just a little one…” Haruna proposed. “But only when the time is right. Let’s let them alone for now. Honestly, the two of them together right now is a sight too cute to be disturbed.”
The sound of a camera reached their ears and the three turned to find Mariko beside them, snapping a photo of the couple in question that would undoubtedly wind up on her blog.
The three shared proud grins before returning their gazes to the couple before them, watching as a red-faced Minami awkwardly but lovingly fixed the blanket around Atsuko’s shoulders.
_ _ _
“Ta-ka-mi-na,” Miichan said cheerily, poking the visibly withdrawn girl in the cheek. She’d arrived at the get-together to celebrate Tomochin’s latest solo release only to find Minami lost in thought in a corner of the room, her eyes unfocused. “Takamina,” Miichan repeated, as her first greeting had gone unanswered.
“Eh? Miichan, when did you get here?” Minami asked, looking up at the younger girl with a curious smile. “Tomochin’s here somewhere; you ought to go congratulate her.”
“I already did, ten minutes ago when I first got here.” Miichan placed her hands on her hips and stared down at Minami. “What’s up with you?”
Minami shot Miichan a weak smile. “Nothing’s wrong; I’m fine.”
“It doesn’t look like nothing,” Miichan said, sitting down next to Minami with a huff. “Care to share?” Receiving nothing but a heavy sigh as an answer, Miichan followed Minami’s gaze across the room to a smiling Tomochin, who sat surrounded by other members. Pondering for a moment, a small gasp left Miichan’s lips as she discerned the reason behind Minami’s sigh.
“You must think me a lowly person,” Minami stated quietly, seeing that Miichan had figured out the reason for her melancholy. “I’m honestly really happy for her and proud of her. So… why do I still suffer from such an ugly emotion?” She didn’t dare to meet Miichan’s kind eyes, and instead cast her gaze to the floor.
Miichan gently rested her hand on Minami’s shoulder. “Takamina, I’d be more worried if you didn’t feel any jealousy. Last I checked you were only human, and as such it’s okay to feel that way. Heck, if two of my best friends were living my dream before my eyes, I don’t think I could be nearly as supportive as you’ve been.”
“Thanks, Mine-chan,” Minami said, granting Miichan a more honest smile. “It means a lot to be able to talk with you like this.”
“You’re welcome!” Miichan chimed, smiling brilliantly. “But, why don’t you try talking to Acchan about it?”
Minami shook her head. “I can’t do that.”
All cheer vanished from Miichan’s face. “Oh, no. It’s only been two weeks since you guys got over your misunderstanding! Now what’s happened?”
“Nothing! Nothing happened!” Minami shouted, waving her hands defensively. “It’s just that… I can’t talk with Acchan about this.”
Miichan curled a brow, her curiosity piqued. “Is it because she’s one of the people that have achieved your dream?”
“It’s not so much that,” Minami started, her face growing red with blush. “When I’m with Acchan I can’t talk about these kinds of things. It makes me feel weak and I want to be strong in Acchan’s eyes. I want to be somebody that she feels she can depend on. It’s… kind of hard to explain,” she admitted, crossing her arms with a small pout. “I don’t quite understand it myself.”
“Nah, it’s easy,” Miichan started with a teasing smile. “For Acchan, you want to be manly.”
“I do not!” Minami shouted, her face now bright red, but whether due to frustration or embarrassment Miichan wasn’t sure.
“Relax, Takamina, I’m just teasing.” Seeing Minami’s momentary outburst was indeed over, Miichan wrapped Minami in a tight hug, which the smaller girl did not try to escape. “You’re right; Acchan does have a lot on her plate. Wanting to help her with that is very noble of you.”
“She has a pretty heavy burden. I don’t want to add to it; I want to bear it for her.”
“I need someone like you in my life,” Miichan sighed, releasing Minami from her hold as she stood. “You know, someone that loves me.”
Minami looked up at her curiously, if not a bit confused. “But, I am in your life, and I love you.”
“Yes, but…” Miichan leaned down and finished her statement in Minami’s ear with a whisper. Satisfied with the reaction she’d gained, she flashed Minami a teasing smirk and left to join the others, not giving Minami a chance to respond. Minami was left in the corner, dumbfounded and blushing.
While it was true that she didn’t want to discuss her troubles with Atsuko for the reasons she’d mentioned to Miichan, there was another reason that Minami couldn’t speak with Atsuko. Ever since their reconciliation, whenever she was with Atsuko (which, thus far, had only been at two media promotions), she turned into a blushing, incomprehensible fool. Her thoughts would wander, and it took everything she had to concentrate on their conversations.
She had pondered her mystery feelings for months while she was apart from Atsuko. Believing she had her emotions under control, she faced Atsuko honestly at the time they made up, admitting simply to missing her. However, something had happened on that day three weeks ago, something unbeknownst to any of the others, and Minami’s heart and mind had been in chaos ever since.
As Miichan’s last words repeated in her mind, Minami was beginning to understand that she had a very important decision to make, one which could possibly bring an end to the self-erected protective (or was it restrictive?) wall around her heart and, in a worst-case scenario, her dream. At the very least, she’d have to learn to control her nerves the next time she saw Atsuko.
“…not as you love Acchan.”
_ _ _
/////
Atsuko sighed as she glanced out the window and subconsciously tightened her grip on the cell phone in her lap. She was on break during a script reading and most of her cast mates had since left the room. She hadn’t moved from her seat, her thoughts having since traveled elsewhere for the past ten minutes.
Just before their break, as the cast read through a scene in which she was not included, Atsuko cast a forlorn look out the window. She missed Minami, but there was her best friend and love interest on the building across the street, sixty feet tall on a no3b promotional poster.
//It’s not the real thing, but it’ll certainly do for now,// she thought with a small smile, unknowingly letting a sigh escape her lips. There was an awkward silence in which she realized that the others present were staring at her curiously, and she, embarrassed, brushed away their looks with a wave of her hand. The director suggested taking a break then (with a teasing smile on his face), and thus Atsuko found herself nearly alone, staring at the giant image of Minami across the street.
//Minami’s been acting quite strangely lately, she thought as another sigh escaped her lips. Whenever I’m near her she freezes up and stutters and she won’t look at me.// She slumped in her chair and buried her head in her hands. //Perhaps kissing her was the wrong thing to do.//
“Somebody’s in love,” Atsuko overheard one of her cast mates say as he stood chatting with one of the elder actresses across the room.
//Right on.// With another sigh Atsuko began to stand and stretch when the phone in her hands suddenly vibrated and she let out a small, surprised squeal, earning a small chuckle from the others present. With an apologetic bow, she turned her back to them and eagerly read her new message.
[Normally I’d call to make this kind of request, but I assume you’re probably too busy right now to talk.]
//Minami,// Atsuko thought with a small smile as a warm feeling washed over her. //For her to make any kind of request is rare.//
[There’s something I need to tell you. Please let me know when you’ll next be available.]
[Tomorrow night.] Atsuko replied almost immediately, her fingers typing the answer before it even completely formed in her mind. In truth, she’d spent every day since their reconciliation counting down to the next day that she’d be able to spend quality time with Minami. Her heart fluttered as she hit ‘send’. The seconds she spent waiting for a reply felt like an eternity, and she bit her bottom lip nervously. Her phone buzzed again, the phonebook ID confirming a follow-up message from her still secret love.
[You’re the busiest of us, so I’ll let you decide. When and where would you like to meet?]
//Always so considerate,// Atsuko thought as once again her fingers flew over the keys.
[Let’s do dinner, sometime after 6. Is your place okay? I haven’t visited with Nyaachan in quite some time.]
/////
Minami’s reply had been positive, and thus Atsuko found herself in Minami’s apartment, its owner buzzing around the kitchen preparing a meal.
“It’s only the two of us, Takamina. There’s no need to cook a feast.”
When she’d first arrived Atsuko had tackled Minami in a tight hug the minute she’d opened the door, and Minami, as expected, stiffened like a board, stuttering her welcome.
It was, perhaps, mildly sadistic, but Atsuko loved teasing Minami this way.
However, what she did not know was the true reason behind Minami’s new, adverse reactions.
“You know as well as I do that you could eat an entire feast all on your own,” Minami countered, earning a playful scowl from Atsuko.
For her part, Minami was a bit relieved that Atsuko had suggested meeting at home. While it meant more quality time with Atsuko (in other words, more time in which she could not escape Atsuko’s affections), Nyaachan’s presence provided the perfect distraction. The young cat fell victim to the majority of Atsuko’s affections that night, though Minami was not entirely scot-free.
Though she always missed Atsuko when they weren’t together, Minami was sometimes relieved to know that they wouldn’t be, for ever since their reconciliation last month it seemed as though Atsuko’s affections had started to increase and become more brazen when they were together. Atsuko seized upon any chance to touch Minami, most often grasping her in a tight hug and whispering in her ears, though arm brushing, shoulder rubbing, and playing with Minami’s hair were also common occurrences. Minami froze at every touch, and to her own astonishment, she had caught herself several times returning the gestures in kind.
No, Minami thought as she paused to glance over at Atsuko, who sat on the floor playing with Nyaachan. That’s not true. She’s always been this affectionate. Atsuko looked up at Minami then, casting a happy smile. Embarrassed at having been caught staring, Minami returned the smile and then turned away to continue setting the table. It just seems like her touches have increased because I’m noticing them more now that I know the truth behind them.
“So what did you want to discuss?”
Minami jumped with a yelp as she turned to face Atsuko, who now stood beside her. “You scared me, Acchan! Don’t sneak up on people like that, especially when they’re holding a pot of your dinner!”
A melodious laugh escaped Atsuko’s lips. “Sorry. Here, let me take that.” Taking the pot from Minami, she carefully set it on the table before taking a seat. “So…” she began again, watching as Minami sat down across from her.
Strange… she always used to sit next to me.
“Let’s talk after we eat,” Minami proposed red-faced and unable to meet Atsuko’s gaze. Unbeknownst to Atsuko, Minami’s heart was beating wildly, her mind racing. She had invited Atsuko over to discuss a specific matter, but it was a subject that could potentially ruin what both desired to be a good evening.
After all, love is indeed a powerful thing.
For months she had pondered her situation and her feelings. Shortly before their misunderstanding, Minami had decided to keep what she suspected she was feeling a secret and at that time, believing it to be for the good of all involved, cast aside the idea that she was in love with her best friend. After all, she had sworn to not fall in love, to not risk her career. At the time, she had still been a bit uncertain about what she was truly feeling, and there was no need to risk their friendship for fleeting emotions.
Then they had argued, and Minami suddenly found herself without Atsuko.
Ironically, it had been her time apart from Atsuko that helped her to realize and accept how she truly felt. Without Atsuko there beside her, Minami began to realize how much she missed everything about the girl that was one of her best friends; her smile, her voice, her laugh, and, most importantly, Atsuko herself. The pain of such feelings finally brought Minami to admit that what she felt towards Atsuko was indeed a love beyond friendship. However, acceptance did not make this truth any less dangerous to their friendly relationship. She had decided yet again to keep her love a secret. This was one of the reasons she avoided Atsuko for so long; not only because of their argument, but also because not seeing Atsuko meant that she would not have to confront her own feelings.
Ultimately, things changed when they had been locked in a room together and forced to reconcile last month. (Was it really only four weeks ago?) Minami, doing her best to avoid any unnecessary turmoil, was determined to cast her feelings aside forever and had intended to simply stress how much she missed Atsuko. There was no need to jeopardize their friendship again, as the relationship the two shared was already on shaky ground. Yet at the time, a nervous, emotional Minami had almost confessed. She had no intention of doing so; such a declaration could potentially have dealt a death blow to what remained between them. Panicking, Minami had barely managed to cover up her unintentional confession by quickly adding the phrase, “You’re my best friend,” after those three powerful words.
In the end, though, she was shocked to discover that her initial worry was obsolete.
(Neither had spoken a word since they began eating, as Minami appeared to Atsuko to have quickly grown lost in thought. She watched with a bemused smile as Minami’s face grew suddenly red.)
/////
//She… she kissed me.// Minami slowly brought her fingers to her lips, the realization trickling over her with a tingling sensation.
//She kissed me!//
//Wait…// She froze again, wide-eyed in a mixture of confusion and panic. //Why? Why did she kiss me? What the heck kind of hint was that?//
//No way… does Acchan like me?// She shook her head furiously in an attempt to rid herself of such a thought. //That’s not possible. She must have been teasing me. This was all some sort of joke, I’m sure.//
With a sigh, she shook her head and walked towards the door, pausing when she heard the sound of muffled voices on the other side.
//I forgot the others were here.// Reaching a hand to her face, she could feel the heat in her cheeks. //I can’t go out there like this! They’d tease me endlessly!// Cautiously, she grabbed the door handle and slowly turned it, opening the door just a small amount to be able to hear the discussion outside.
“It seemed to me that Minami hasn’t fully realized that what she’s feeling is a love beyond friendship, and if she has, she doesn’t seem to have accepted her feelings.”
//That’s Atsuko,// Minami thought, listening as another comment resulted in laughter. //Wait… a love beyond friendship? She doesn’t mean…// The next words captured her attention, and Minami again focused on the conversation.
“So the kiss…?”
“Was a hint, to help her realize what it is she’s really feeling for me. And when she does realize, she’ll know how I feel about her.”
//This… what I’m feeling… Atsuko and the others know how I feel?// Minami took her head in her hands, her thoughts now in chaos. Her heart was beating frantically as she tried to make sense of the situation. // What she said just now…// Realization dawned on her, and Minami’s face suddenly grew the reddest it had ever been. //No way… It wasn’t a joke?//
//Atsuko loves me? //
//These feelings are mutual?//
Still in disbelief, the sound of her name brought Minami back from her thoughts.
“… out to dinner, after all.”
“We’ll go get her.”
//Not good.//
Quickly standing, Minami opened the door and stepped forward, doing her best to give the impression that she hadn’t heard a thing.
“Umm… hey, everybody; let’s go eat?”
/////
Knowing that Atsuko had loved her all this time brought a foreign sensation to Minami. However, the peculiar elation was accompanied by a new worry, one that had plagued Minami’s thoughts ever since that day. Takahashi Minami had entered AKB48 with the intent to eventually achieve her dream. She had not entered AKB48 with the intention to find and fall in love. She had tried to love once, in the end swearing to never do so again while she was in AKB.
Not long after their reconciliation, the others (mainly Miichan and Haruna, along with her ever present attachment, Yuko) began dropping hints and reminders that the former Minami would have never picked up on or taken into serious consideration. While they did not know that Minami had learned how Atsuko felt, their whisperings did help her to reach some conclusions and to encourage her, enabling her to take an important step.
At the very least, Minami figured that she owed Atsuko a couple apologies, which was the reason she had requested a meeting with the girl that was potentially more than her best friend.
“Okay, you need to tell me what’s been on your mind this whole time.”
“Eh?” Minami’s head jolted up and her eyes met with Atsuko’s, the other girl wearing an amused smile.
“You haven’t said a word throughout dinner, yet you’ve gone through so many different facial expressions that I’ve lost count.”
Minami broke their eye contact as she suddenly stood and quickly began gathering the dishes. “I’m sorry that I was so quiet. Was the dinner good?”
“Yes,” Atsuko replied cheerily. “It was made by you with love,” she teased. “How could it not be good?”
Minami suddenly stopped in her turn to the sink, nearly dropping the stack of dishes she held.
“Minami, what did you want to discuss with me?” Atsuko asked, noting Minami’s peculiar reaction.
Now I’m convinced that kiss was too much.
“L-let’s do the dishes first,” Minami stammered, her nerves getting the better of her.
“No. No more stalling, Minami.” Atsuko stood from her seat and walked to Minami’s side, removing the stack of dishes from the shorter girl’s hands and setting it on the counter. She grabbed Minami’s hand with a stern look and led her to the sofa, bringing them to sit beside each other. Atsuko crossed her arms with a small huff and stared at Minami, waiting for an explanation. After a couple moments of fidgeting, Minami finally broke under Atsuko’s intense stare. With her head hung low, not daring to meet Atsuko’s eyes, Minami finally whispered:
“I know, Atsuko; and I want to apologize.”
Atsuko’s brow wrinkled in confusion. “You know what? Apologize for what?”
“I want to apologize for causing you to languish all these years, and because I must selfishly ask you to wait a while longer.”
Atsuko studied the girl that still refused to meet her gaze. Minami’s apology was obviously heartfelt, yet her words did little to enlighten Atsuko as to why she was apologizing.
“Minami, please look at me,” Atsuko pleaded, and as Minami hesitantly lifted her gaze and locked eyes with her, Atsuko gasped. The reason behind Minami’s apology was suddenly clear.
“Minami, you don’t mean-”
“Atsuko, I know what you feel toward me. And I-I feel the same.”
“No way,” Atsuko gasped, bringing a hand to cover her mouth in surprise. “You mean, you really?” Minami said nothing, opting to respond with a simple, red-cheeked nod. As the first of many tears filled her eyes, Atsuko bound Minami in a tight hug. A moment later she pulled away and, still in shock, she shot Minami an accusatory look. “Wait… how long have you known? How do you know?”
“Last month… I overheard you speaking with the others after you k-kissed me and left the room,” Minami admitted sheepishly, a bit ashamed to admit to eavesdropping. She could feel her face grow warmer as Atsuko grasped her hands and she heard Atsuko sigh in relief.
“I’m glad,” Atsuko finally stated, barely above a whisper as Minami stared back at her. Both had tears glistening in their eyes. “Honestly, I’m not sure how much longer I could keep it a secret.”
Minami, feeling suddenly disgusted with what she was about to say, abruptly stood and distanced herself from Atsuko.
“Acchan,” she started, keeping her back to Atsuko. “I know what you truly want to hear and I want to be honest with myself and tell it to you, but… I...”
“Minami,” Atsuko whispered as she watched Minami’s hands clench at her sides.
Minami gulped nervously before continuing. “I’ve thought about things for months, Atsuko. When I believed these feelings were unrequited everything was fine, but now that I know how you feel and that something could stem from all of this…” Minami sighed deeply and spoke again, the confidence in her voice waning. “I suppose the best word to describe it is scared. I know what I’m feeling and I know what my heart wants but… my mind, Atsuko. My mind just isn’t ready to accept the potential consequences of what could be between us.”
Growing more confused and frustrated, Atsuko stood and joined Minami, gently placing a hand on Minami’s shoulder. The touch brought Minami’s gaze to meet hers. “Minami, what do you mean? What aren’t you ready to accept?”
Minami’s face grew redder as she continued, her nerves and emotions causing her to stutter. “I-I didn’t join AKB48 to fall in l-love. Being in a r-relationship with you would mean jeopardizing both of our careers. You know as well as I do the effects that our troubles had on the group, and we were simply friends at the time. I understand now why relationships are forbidden; the drama that comes with them is dangerous, Atsuko. I’d- we’d be risking the opportunity to achieve our dreams.” Minami paused to take a deep breath and then continued. “I need just a little more time to gather the courage to be able to truly accomplish what both of our hearts want.” Minami looked away yet again, taking a deep breath before next she spoke. “I know how you feel and how I feel and I know what you want and I want to give it to you, but… I need more time, Atsuko. I’m asking for your forgiveness and patience; I have a life-changing decision to make.”
There was a brief silence then, the tension in the air having grown to be almost tangible.
“I’ve wanted this for years, Minami.” Atsuko looked at Minami sternly, her emotions beginning to take their toll. “I understand what you’re saying, but I’m willing to take those risks!”
“Acchan, please calm down.”
“This was cruel, Takamina. Why would you ask me here tonight, dangle before me the very thing I’ve wanted to hear for years, and then tell me that I can’t have it?” Tears once again flowed freely from Atsuko’s eyes, and Minami’s eyes instantly clouded with shame.
“That’s not true-”
Minami’s protests were ceased by the mere presence of Atsuko’s palm held up before her, a clear sign for Minami to stop talking. Without another word, Atsuko turned, grabbed her purse, and started towards the door.
“Acchan, please don’t be mad.” Minami’s voice quivered with tears.
Atsuko suddenly paused and took a deep breath but did not yet turn around. “I’m not. Really. I’m just… a little upset.” She turned then to look at Minami. Seeing the burgeoning fear in Minami’s eyes, Atsuko’s eyes began to glisten with tears as a gentle smile graced her lips. “Don’t worry, Minami. I promised not to run away, remember?” She paused a moment to allow Minami a chance to recall their promise, the shorter girls eyes widening in remembrance. “When next you see me I’ll be all smiles. For now, though, I need to leave. I need to prepare myself in heart and mind.” Though her words were positive, Atsuko’s voice betrayed a still lingering sadness.
Minami clenched her hands briefly before she spoke, her body trembling due to the force behind the action and a struggle to keep her tears at bay. “I asked to meet with you tonight because I felt it too cruel to let you go on any longer thinking that things would absolutely never be between us or that I still didn’t know how I feel. It could still happen, Atsuko.” Minami hesitantly took a step forward. “I don’t want you to leave here like this. If anything, please leave here knowing that I do know what it is I’m feeling. Atsuko, you, I-”
A soft finger on her lips stopped Minami from saying anything more. Atsuko stood before her, shaking her head as her tears continued to fall.
“No; don’t say it, Minami. Not until you’re truly ready.”
“But-”
“You’ve asked me to wait just a little bit longer, and I will. Until then, I won’t say it, either. However,” she paused, gently lifting Minami’s chin higher. Atsuko captured Minami’s lips in her own effortlessly, neither daring to part from the kiss early. They pulled apart a moment later, both slightly out of breath with hearts racing.
Surprisingly, Minami was the first to recover and speak.
“Gosh, Atsuko, that was a bit unexpected.”
Atsuko tilted her head. “How so? From what you’ve said here tonight, I’m fighting against your dream, Minami. Should you choose your dream over me, I want you to at least have a full knowledge of what you sacrificed. Unexpected? No; even you’d have to know that I’m going to do everything I can to prove to you that you can have both.”
Atsuko left then, leaving behind a bewildered Minami, who slowly brought her fingers to her lips. Inches lower in her body, her heart was still racing.
I’m definitely in love, Atsuko. But I definitely want to achieve my dream, too.
Slumping to the ground, Minami brought her knees to her chest as she grasped at her hair in frustration.
I’m sorry that I’m not as brave as Haruna and Yuko.
I’m sorry that I’m so weak.
For you, I’ve only ever wanted to be strong.
End Chapter 3, Part 2
Another thing I've said numerous times: it's amazing how one word (or the lack there of) can change an entire story.
I could go on about the 'whys' and 'why nots' involved in writing this section, but... well, we all have our own different opinions, ideas, and understandings of the characters. As long as you're enjoying the story, then in the end, that's all that matters.
Perhaps at the end of Portraits I'll write a special "behind the scenes" post that might (hopefully) answer some of your questions. (Personally, I think the evolution of the story is particularly interesting.) If you can't wait that long then feel free to send me a message, though I'll probably be slow to respond.
Until next time.
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I've been waiting for your comeback. :cry:
*Brb reading.
I'll edit this later for my review :peace:
Damn, it hurts so much to read the scene wherein they were exchanging with each other. at least acchan is still willing to wait and knows that they both feel for each other is mutual. I love angst stories so much. Thank you and Can't wait for the next update! :thumbup
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I admit that I was a bit worried not seeing you update the next chapter after 2 weeks( since you usually update your fic around every 2 weeks). About the questions, I won't ask it, I have my own way to interpret the things presented in this chapter. I must say, again, that your update never disappoints me. But honestly I didn't even once think about Minami pondering between love and career. I just feel that she's the type of person who, once in love, will accept it without hesitating and embrace it. But may be I've overlooked things and failed to recognize that she also has her dream to achieve and in this case, it's both of their dreams. Atsuko seems to be the one who's more willing to take the risk( may be it's because she's loved Takamina for a long time and she doesn't want to let her go).
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Thank you for updating!!!I was so worried!!!I really love your fanfic, please update soon, I really like your story, how it goes, even if I don't like when Aachan and Minami are arguing... :thumbup :thumbup :thumbup :)
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I had to do a double take when I saw your fic updated on the first page. After reading this chapter I so feel that angsty seriousness you've warned us... Not enough Atsumina moments to satisfy my needs, but I totally feel my heart thumping with every word the two were exchanging with each other. I wonder what will happen next? I have no idea at this point, but I guess all that matters is that the love is there although they're not ready to say it say it... Gawd, I am frustrated for both the characters. They have their own complicated reasons T^T
Thank you for updating and I will be anxiously awaiting for chapter 4, this is awesome stuff Author-sama. :thumbup
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I love your fic!! It's really amazing! The characters are done so well and the situations are very realistic. You're a pro at writing :) Thanks for your update & I'm excited to read the next chapter ^^
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omg!! love that chapter you have a point a view very realistic.. Well if you have another chapter its ok.. if you leave this fic.. Im gonna be sad but respect.. Im waiting always :D thanx
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:panic: Hitibo-san!
AtsuMina! That was super :thumbsup
Gosh! What I'm like in your writing it's that the story is detailed, long (not too long) and captivating...
Thank you for your update!
Can't wait for next!
ArígatoU! :kneelbow:
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Drum roll please...
Atsuko left then, leaving behind a bewildered Minami, who slowly brought her fingers to her lips. Inches lower in her body, her heart was still racing.
//I’m definitely in love, Atsuko. But I definitely want to achieve my dream, too.//
Slumping to the ground, Minami brought her knees to her chest as she grasped at her hair in frustration.
// I’m sorry that I’m not as brave as Haruna and Yuko.
I’m sorry that I’m so weak.
For you, I’ve only ever wanted to be strong.//
Portraits
An AKB48 Fan Fiction
Chapter 3, Part 3 (Chapter End)
_ _ _
“Ahahaha!”
The sound of Mariko’s laughter pealed through the small restaurant and Atsuko looked around them nervously.
“Mariko, stop laughing!” Atsuko hissed. “Nothing that I told you was at all funny!”
Mariko waved a hand before her face in a vain attempt to indicate that it wasn’t anything that Atsuko had said. However, her laughter still had the upper hand, and Tomochin that was with them began to laugh as well.
“Fine, laugh, but would you please tell me what’s so funny?” Atsuko pouted, crossing her arms in displeasure.
Finally gaining control of her laughter, Mariko looked back at Atsuko. “It wasn’t anything specific, really. When you said that you told her you would prove she can have both her dream and love, my mind suddenly filled with images of how you would do so, and they were so amusing that I couldn’t help it.”
“I know what you mean,” Tomochin agreed. “Takamina’s reactions are always amusing.”
“What are you planning to do, anyway?” Mariko asked, suddenly returning to a more serious tone.
Atsuko leaned back in her seat with a sigh. “I was thinking that the best approach would be to establish a probationary relationship. If we were to get caught, which I doubt, then the truth would be that we were just fooling around.”
Tomochin shot Atsuko a curious look. “And by ‘probationary relationship,’ you mean…?”
“I’m going to do all the things that an ‘official’ girlfriend would: hugs, kisses, emails. All in front of other people, too.”
“You do realize that you do those things already,” Mariko teased.
Atsuko smiled faintly. “To an extent, yes, but now, I suppose you could say things will be more… passionate.”
“Not a bad idea; you have to up your game if you want better results,” Mariko advised with a small laugh.
Tomochin nodded and took a sip of her drink. “Just be careful, Acchan. Takamina’s right: no matter how strong your love, it’s not immune to the rules of the group. Perhaps Takamina’s hesitation is less about protecting only herself and more about ensuring the safety of your career as well.”
“I know that already,” Atsuko replied curtly. “She’s being so cautious because she loves me, and one of us needs to be. But…” Atsuko’s voice trailed off as her phoned beeped, and she excused herself to briefly check the message.
Mariko and Tomochin shared quick, concerned glances upon seeing a shadow flitter across Atsuko’s eyes.
“Not from Takamina I take it?” Mariko chanced.
“No… it’s nothing,” Atsuko said with a dismissive wave of her hand and a fake smile. She returned to eating her food eagerly. Tomochin and Mariko, noting Atsuko’s odd behavior, decided not to pursue the subject any further.
“So when can you see her next?” Tomochin asked.
Atsuko shrugged, her shoulders falling sadly into place. “I’m not sure. We’re both so busy lately that it’s hard enough to just talk on the phone together.”
Mariko nodded. “That’s understandable,” she said, sipping her drink.
“I miss her already,” Atsuko admitted with a sigh.
Tomochin couldn’t help but to chuckle at her friend’s forlorn behavior. “Acchan, it’s only been two days!”
_ _ _
Atsuko walked slowly down the familiar hallway, biting her lip nervously as she once again glanced down at the message she’d received the night before.
[Your deadline has passed, and we’ve not received a definitive answer from you. Please come to my office tomorrow to discuss your future.]
So much has happened lately that I forgot. Atsuko hung her head, mortified by the idea that she could have neglected something so important. Of course, I’ve also been distracted with Minami. After the other night… Atsuko shook her head in frustration in an attempt to momentarily cast aside such thoughts.
Stopping before the office door, she took a deep breath to calm her nerves. With a steady hand she knocked firmly on the door and was quickly welcomed inside.
“Please excuse the intrusion.”
Atsuko’s greeting was quiet, and Akimoto Yasushi smiled warmly as he set aside his phone and indicated for her to sit. He observed her quietly for a moment, gaging her stability before he spoke. To his mild surprise, the girl that remained shy after all these years spoke first.
“I apologize for causing you trouble. It was never my intention to neglect giving you an answer.”
“It’s alright. I had a feeling that such a thing would happen. I’ve a proposition for you.”
“Sir?” Atsuko tilted her head to the side, not quite sure of what Akimoto was proposing.
Akimoto paused a moment before he continued. “You’re a bright girl, and I’m proud of you.” Atsuko muttered a small thank you, unable to meet Akimoto’s eyes. With a sad smile, Akimoto spoke again. “Personally, I don’t want to see you graduate, Acchan. I get the feeling that you’re not quite ready to graduate, either. However, a decision must be made. I’ve decided to leave such a decision to the fans.”
Atsuko still refused to look up, and kept her eyes focused on her hands in her lap as she spoke. “How do you propose the fans do so?”
A hint of a smirk reached Akimoto’s lips. “We’ll hold an election, allowing the fans to help you to decide, via the very roots of Akihabara48. Votes can only be cast on the back of theater tickets purchased within the span of six weeks, one ticket per fan per show. Of course, the fans will not know the ulterior reason behind such an election. Neither will the other members.”
“And the terms?”
“It will be an election of AKB members only. Score within the top fifteen and you stay. Place beyond fifteenth, and I will believe that to be a sign that it is time for you to graduate and pursue your career whole-heartedly.” He paused then, and Atsuko listened as he stood and stepped beside her.
Am I still popular with the theater crowd? I haven’t done a show in months.
A hand came to rest gently on her shoulder. “I know that if and when you graduate, you will do so with your head held high, Acchan.”
Atsuko finally looked up then, and she could see in his eyes that Akimoto would support her, no matter the outcome. It was not dissimilar to the look of support that Minami always had for her.
Minami…
Graduation would mean that I would no longer stand on stage next to Minami.
Akimoto watched amusedly as a peculiar emotion claimed Atsuko’s face. He smiled a small, knowing smile and returned to his seat behind the desk. Neither said anything for a few moments. It was a life changing decision, and Atsuko needed time to fully comprehend exactly what had been decided. Akimoto checked his phone, the small grin on his face going unnoticed by Atsuko.
“You should go now,” he suggested kindly, not wanting to give the impression he was casting her out. “You’re free the next few hours, yes? Don’t fret, Acchan. Have a little faith in the outcome. If you believe, it will come to be the right one.”
Atsuko stood and left the office, and as the door clicked shut behind her she leaned against it with a heavy sigh and closed her eyes, tears threatening to fall.
Will this be the end? Will my time with Minami end this way, without us ever truly being together? This, after I’ve finally come so close?
“Atsuko?”
It was Minami’s voice, and Atsuko thought for a fleeting moment that her emotions were causing her to hallucinate.
“Minami!” She gasped as her eyes flew open to take in the sight of Minami standing before her. Without a moment’s hesitation, she flung herself upon Minami, burying her face in the shorter girl’s hair.
“Atsuko, what’s wrong?” Minami asked as blush crept across her face. “You said that the next time we met you would be smiling,” she added jokingly, though the meaning behind the words was more serious.
“Minami, what are you doing here?” Atsuko managed to choke out, fighting to keep her tears under control. Though Minami had likely said the words teasingly, they brought too many emotions to the surface. Atsuko felt Minami tighten her hold on her waist comfortingly.
“I received a mail from Aki-P this morning. He said there was somebody at his office that needed to see me.”
“Oh; I’m sorry.” Atsuko reluctantly stepped away from Minami, wiping at her eyes with her sleeve. “You should hurry up; they might be here soon.” She didn’t dare to meet Minami’s gaze, else her resolve would break. She turned away but was stopped by a grip on her wrist.
Minami’s heart ached in her chest. Seeing the state that Atsuko was in, she suddenly (and for her, to some small extent, unexpectedly) became sure of one thing. After a nervous gulp, Minami hesitantly reached a hand under Atsuko’s chin, uncharacteristically guiding Atsuko’s gaze to meet her eyes.
“Atsuko, I think he meant you.”
Her resolve broken, Atsuko collapsed into Minami’s arms once again.
“C’mon, Acchan. Let’s go eat a nice meal,” Minami proposed, her voice overflowing with kindness. “You don’t have to tell me about it if you don’t want to, but please understand that I’m here for you. I always have been and will be.”
To Minami’s bewilderment, her words did little to stave Atsuko’s tears, and instead Atsuko cried harder. Minami dared not to say anything more so they sat quietly together with only the sound of Atsuko’s sobs between them. After a moment’s hesitation with her hand suspended in air, the concerned girl rubbed Atsuko’s back consolingly, unsure of what else to do. As the sobs began to wane, Minami was relieved to see a small smile reach Atsuko’s lips.
“Thanks for the offer, Minami,” Atsuko finally said, her voice small and a bit hoarse. “A lunch together with you is just what I need.”
“Sure thing,” Minami stated with a blush as she beamed at Atsuko. Despite Minami’s smile, however, Atsuko was briefly taken aback as she would have sworn that she saw a darker emotion flitter across Minami’s eyes.
Worry? Anger? Atsuko eyes narrowed. No… that was shame. But, why?
The two slowly left then, Atsuko gripping Minami’s hand tighter than ever before. As Minami did her best to cheer Atsuko up with a failed attempt at an amusing story, neither noticed the door to the office behind them click shut.
_ _ _
Minami sat on the bench with a tired sigh, her body sore and glistening with sweat. Their dance lessons had ended thirty minutes early, meaning that she had gained enough extra time in her busy schedule to enjoy a nice meal out. First, though, she had to clear her thoughts. She’d missed some steps during practice, and she was frustrated that she allowed her thoughts to distract her from her work, even if such thoughts were about a certain person that made her heart beat more quickly than usual.
It had been about a week since she saw Atsuko outside Akimoto’s office. Atsuko did not tell her what was wrong, but the theater-only election had been announced just a few days later, and Minami was sure the two were connected. At that time Minami had simply been a shoulder for Atsuko to cry on, assuring her that everything would be alright. Yet in the back of her mind, Minami knew that at that time, Atsuko needed to hear something more from her, something she could not yet bring herself to say, no matter how much her heart protested.
With another heavy sigh (though this one not because of exhaustion), Minami wiped her face with a small towel.
“Mi-na-mi,” a voice cooed beside the called girl, and Minami shuddered as she felt Atsuko’s breath on her ear. Two arms snaked around her waist, and as the exhausted Minami reached a hand up to touch said arms, she suddenly jumped three feet into the air with a squeak.
“Wow, Takamina, nice air,” someone teased with a laugh. Minami, red-faced, pointed at the smirking Atsuko.
“Atsuko! You… my ear…”
Atsuko chuckled. “Spit it out, Minami.”
Stepping closer to Atsuko, Minami said in a hushed tone, “You licked my ear!”
“Yes, I did.” Atsuko pulled Minami back down on to the bench and swiftly wrapped her arms around the embarrassed girl again. Her lips turned up into a small smile as Minami, still glowing red, tried her hardest not to look at Atsuko. “Minami, please look at me,” Atsuko said with slight whine in her voice. When Minami did as asked, Atsuko stole a kiss from her unsuspecting victim.
“A-Acchan,” Minami stuttered in disbelief. “The others-”
“Look around, Minami,” Atsuko said, not lifting her head from Minami’s shoulder. “The others don’t care. You know firsthand that they would all be very supportive of our relationship. You have no reasons to be afraid of what they might see.”
“But-“
“Nope. No buts, Minami,” Atsuko whispered, turning Minami’s chin with a delicate finger. She caught Minami’s eyes with a loving gaze. “I promised myself that I would prove to you that we can both love each other and strive toward our dreams. We don’t have to choose.” Minami froze as once again Atsuko captured her lips in a chaste kiss.
They sat quietly together for a moment before Minami finally whispered, “That’s something that will certainly take getting used to…”
“What was that?” Atsuko asked, and Minami smiled at the hint of sleepiness in Atsuko’s voice.
“Nothing,” Minami answered, giving Atsuko’s arms about her waist a small squeeze.
“So what were you thinking about?” Atsuko asked, standing up and stretching. “You missed quite a few steps today.”
Minami stood and stretched as well. “You,” she said, her face flushing red yet again. For the first time that she could ever remember, she had succeeded in causing Atsuko to flush just as red.
More specifically, how I feel like I let you down.
Again.
_ _ _
Atsuko stared out the taxi window with a forlorn sigh. Her agent had called not long ago to inform her about a schedule change, meaning that Atsuko’s plans to surprise Minami in the afternoon had to be cancelled. It had been over two weeks since they’d last seen each other in person. Atsuko had reluctantly accepted the fact that even if their relationship were to become ‘official’, even if they were to exchange those three powerful words, in would not change the fact that both of them had blossoming careers preventing them from seeing each other. In fact, it was a contract signing that she needed to attend this afternoon, one of the last steps in accepting a new acting role.
Atsuko was nervous, too, to say the least. The election results would be announced in four weeks’ time and her future within AKB was at stake. None of the other members were told of the election’s true purpose, though she suspected Minami had figured it out.
True to her word, Atsuko had continued to shower Minami with affections upon every opportunity. At first Minami had shied away, but it seemed to Atsuko that her beloved was starting to accept the touches without worry. (Atsuko’s tactics were perhaps a bit deceptive, desperate even, but she felt them to be absolutely necessary for Minami to accept her heart’s desires.) In fact, Minami had begun to initiate less intimate acts of affection, namely taking Atsuko’s hand whenever possible and embracing Atsuko in tight hugs. They weren’t acts that others would consider overly romantic, but since they came from Minami, Atsuko treasured each and every one. She knew the true message behind such touches. They were Minami’s way of conveying her feelings, and Atsuko’s heart leapt every time.
Of course, it is not just touches that make a relationship. Communication is also a key aspect. They called each other at least twice a day and mail was exchanged constantly. (Minami had told her during one of their last phone conversations that she could set a clock to Atsuko’s messages.) Atsuko loved their phone conversations and cherished every one. It was during such private conversations that she could hear the unabashed warmth and love in Minami’s voice.
Atsuko sighed again and lazily brought a finger up to trace shapes in the cloud her breath left on the window. Her intention in proceeding with a “probationary relationship” was to prove a point to Minami, yet it was beginning to seem that it was more herself to whom she was proving a point. There was a minute worry in the back of her mind that was beginning to grow exponentially. Currently, it seemed as though the only time they were able to spend together was during AKB related events.
If I have to graduate, will Minami and I ever have time to be together?
Another forlorn sigh escaped her lips.
For years now I’ve wanted to be happily together in love with her, but… is it truly right of me to pursue such an unfair relationship?
Atsuko closed her eyes, her train of thoughts suddenly becoming uncomfortable.
Perhaps I’m thinking too far into things. I need to believe in Minami. I need to believe in me.
I need to- No, I will believe in the love that we share.
“Ahem. Maeda-san.”
“Eh?” Atsuko jolted upright at the sound of her name.
The driver gave a kindly smile. “We’ve reached your destination, Maeda-san.”
“Ah, thank you very much.”
After paying the driver, Atsuko stepped from the cab and took a deep breath, stretching her arms high above her head. It was just the beginning of another busy day.
_ _ _
“Ah, Takahashi-san! Welcome.”
With her stomach demanding a good meal of katsudon, Minami stopped in at her favorite family restaurant for the first time in a long while. The owner quickly greeted her, happy to see one of his favorite patrons return after such a long time.
“It’s been a while.”
“Yes, it has. I’ve missed your meals.”
“Will it be your usual then?”
Minami nodded eagerly, and the owner left as quickly as he’d come. Taking a deep, relaxing breath, Minami leaned back in her chair and closed her eyes. She loved it here in this restaurant. It was tucked far enough away from the main streets that it was never crowded and there was just the right amount of chatter in the background. She’d brought Atsuko (and quite a few of the others) here many times over the years, and the gluttonous girl immediately fell for the restaurant, its owners, and its food.
“Here’s your meal.”
Minami’s eyes flew open in excitement. “Wow that was fast! It looks great.”
The owner smiled proudly. “Please enjoy, Takahashi-san.”
As she started eating, Minami smiled as her thoughts once again drifted to the girl that she came to realize occupied her mind during any free time. There was no denying what she felt; Minami was in love, plain and simple.
Well, maybe not so simple; but she was in love nonetheless.
Yet that love was accompanied by frustration, and Minami often grew irritated with herself over the heartache through which she put Atsuko. Then, last night, in the midst of one of their nightly conversations, Minami was suddenly struck by a heart wrenching thought. With her voice barely above a whisper, she asked Atsuko about her dream.
/////
“Minami, are you still there?”
There was a brief pause, and then, “Atsuko…”
“What is it, Minami? Your voice is weak and trembling. What’s wrong? What happened?”
With the phone held tightly against her ear, Minami flopped backwards onto her bed. The kindness and worry in Atsuko’s voice was a reminder of the pillar of strength that Atsuko had become for Minami, and Minami let slip a proud yet bitter smile at the realization that Atsuko had become much stronger after all these years.
“Atsuko… those weeks ago, when… you know…”
“I do,” Atsuko affirmed, and Minami need not imagine the small frown that undoubtedly graced the other girl’s face.
“Well… please be honest, Atsuko. Do you truly believe that our dreams can successfully coincide with a relationship?” There was no immediate answer, so Minami continued. “I’ll admit that you’ve proven your case in that I need not be afraid of what the others might do or think, but…” Minami’s voice trailed off then, its owner unsure of how else to continue.
Neither spoke for a minute, and the silence only served to amplify Minami’s anxiety. Then, like a melody, Atsuko’s voice reached Minami’s ear.
“You know, Minami… you always speak about wanting to fulfill you dream, but you speak as though you have only one dream. To be honest, I have three.”
Minami’s brow furrowed at the sound of Atsuko taking a deep, nervous breath.
“The first is my mind’s dream, the one to which you so often refer. As far back as I can remember, I’ve wanted to become an actress. Like you, Minami; you’ve always wanted to be a singer.”
Minami nodded at first, and then remembering that she was on the phone, she mumbled, “Yes.”
“The second,” Atsuko continued, her voice a bit more confident now, “is my body’s dream to always be in front of the camera, where I can most efficiently bring a smile to the faces of those whose lives I’ve touched. I want to always present myself as a person my fans can look up to, much like I look up to you.”
Minami blushed then and she heard Atsuko give a small, melodic laugh. She probably knew the effect that her words had on Minami.
“My third dream, Minami, is my heart’s dream.”
“And what is that, Atsuko?” Minami asked, genuinely intrigued.
“To be together in love with you, always.”
There was another pause, this one much lengthier. Just as Minami opened her mouth to speak, Atsuko’s sweet voice once again filtered into her ear.
“Minami… when you talk about fulfilling your dream, are you considering your heart’s dream, too?”
/////
“My heart’s dream, huh?” Minami muttered, tapping her chin with the butt of her chopsticks, her meal having since vanished.
“The meal was to your liking, I take it?”
Minami, startled from her thoughts, looked into the expectant eyes of the restaurant’s owner.
“It was as delicious as ever, ojisan.”
“Glad to hear it; have you decided on a dessert?”
The idea of something sweet appealed to Minami tonight, and she quickly scanned the dessert menu before her.
“I can’t decide,” she said aloud to no one in particular. “Desserts A and B both sound really good right now.”
The owner gave a small laugh. “Next time you ought to bring someone with you. You can order both, and whomever you bring can help you to finish them. That way you wouldn’t have to choose; working together, you could have both.”
Minami smiled up at the owner. “That’s a good idea; I’ll keep it in mind.”
_ _ _
“Thirteen.”
Minami, oblivious to the two watching her, sighed and fiddled with the phone in her hands. She was in a van with Haruna and Miichan, the three of them en route to a no3b television appearance.
“Fourteen.”
Her gaze soon settled outside the window yet again, but it wasn’t long before she glanced at the phone in her hands longingly.
“Fifteen.”
“How long has it been?”
“Seven… almost eight minutes.”
“So that’s almost twice a minute?”
“Ah, sixteen.” Haruna nodded towards Minami, and as Miichan turned to look she saw that, true enough, Minami was once again cradling her phone forlornly.
Miichan pushed up her imaginary glasses, pretending to be a scientist in the midst of an observation experiment. “Do you see, Kojima-kun, the effects that love has on a young maiden?”
“Yes, Minegishi-sensei!” Haruna piped, playing along with the farce.
“Ah, who am I kidding? You know plenty about love firsthand.” Miichan teased.
“Yes, Minegishi-sensei!” Haruna chimed again, earning a laugh from Miichan. “Seventeen,” she said, dropping the assistant’s role.
Miichan turned and nodded. “So what has Takamina in such somber spirits this morning?”
Haruna smirked. “Acchan didn’t call this morning.”
“Oh?” Miichan asked, intrigued. “That’s odd.”
“Mhmm. Takamina called her and left a message, but Acchan has not yet called back. Takamina, being who she is, is probably worried that something tragic happened to Acchan.”
Miichan nodded, agreeing to Haruna’s hypothesis. “She’s probably just busy filming.”
A chime filtered through the air then, and they looked over to see Minami eagerly check her phone. They watched as her face first turned ashen, but then brightened up again a moment later with a smile. As Minami quickly typed a reply, two more chimes sounded.
Haruna and Miichan gave each other curious glances before checking their own phones.
[You two are with Minami today, right?
I’ve been so exhausted lately that I overslept this morning, that’s all.
Please don’t let her worry too much about me. I want her mind to be focused only on your performance.]
The two quickly sent replies.
“Do you think Atsuko realizes?” Haruna asked as she put her phone back in her bag.
“Realizes what?” Miichan asked as she returned her attention to Minami.
Haruna smiled. “That she has the cat in the bag, so to speak.”
_ _ _
Minami happily hummed a song as she walked towards Atsuko’s house.
She missed Atsuko. Though the two had promised to never run away from each other, they hadn’t been able to make promises to spend more time together.
It was now nearly five weeks since she and Atsuko had addressed each other’s feelings. For five weeks, Atsuko had done her best to show Minami the happiness they could share through love. Yet unexpectedly, in that same time the two had also experienced the hardships they would encounter. In those five weeks they saw each other in person only eight times that Minami could recall. The first had been outside Akimoto’s office. The second was during one dance lesson. Three times had been during theaters shows; another three times had been brief encounters during media appearances. (Atsuko had not let the opportunities go to waste, however, and showered Minami in affection when possible.)
Minami was no expert on love, but she was sure that two people in a relationship were meant to spend time together. Sadly, any plans they had ever made were cancelled due to their busy schedules. It was surprising that they were both still able to make tonight’s meeting. Yet while Minami’s schedule was growing more complicated, she feared for Atsuko, whose schedule was even busier.
Worried for Atsuko’s health (as she continued to overwork herself), Minami would sometimes stop by her friend’s house unannounced, only to find, unsurprisingly, that its owner wasn’t home. She’d often leave Atsuko a small gift and exit the house with a heavy heart, knowing that Atsuko was pushing herself doing what she loved.
Minami sighed, her warm breath clouding in the cool evening air.
The election period would be ending soon. Through bits and pieces of information garnered in their conversations, Minami had been able to conclude that Atsuko’s very continuation in AKB was dependent upon the results of this election. Atsuko had only appeared in three theater shows since the election’s announcement. Minami was worried if Atsuko would place well. She was the most popular with those who were fans of AKB on television and radio, but for those devoted to the theater shows, Atsuko’s being in their number one position was doubtful.
Minami suddenly stopped in her tracks. Tilting her head back, she looked up at the cloudy sky, wide-eyed in thought. This whole time she’d been considering her dreams over love. Yet… if either she or Atsuko were to successfully achieve their dreams, it would undoubtedly lead to graduation.
If we were to have a relationship, could we survive a graduation? Is this love strong enough to survive outside of AKB?
Her eyes softened with her next thought.
Is a relationship with Acchan what would make me, make us, happiest?
With a bitter smile, Minami pulled her jacket tighter and continued her walk. She’d had plenty of time to think, and she was still uncertain about the decision she’d made. Every time she paused in her walk, she was tempted to turn around and go home. Yet each time, she felt a warmth in her chest, and her heart won over her nerves.
She was soon at Atsuko’s doorstep, her heart beating rapidly as she nervously raised her hand. It would be the first time in five weeks that they would be able to spend quality time together. Atsuko had sounded doggedly tired on the phone so Minami had suggested that they not meet tonight, but Atsuko would hear nothing of it.
She paused with her hand mere millimeters from the doorbell. Perhaps, she thought with a smile, she somehow knew not to let me back out tonight.
An image from the last time they met filtered to mind, and Minami could feel her cheeks grow warmer at the memory of Atsuko kissing her, and she, for the first time, kissing back. Shaking her head to clear it of such thoughts, Minami closed the distance between her hand and the bell.
Hearing the doorbell chime inside, Minami waited patiently for Atsuko to come answer. She could hear the pitter-patter of tiny feet on the other side of the door, the dogs roaming free a sure sign that Atsuko was indeed home. However, the door stood closed, so Minami rang the bell once more. Again there was no answer, aside from a couple small, excited barks.
Minami fished the key from her purse with a sigh, realizing that she would have to let herself in tonight. As expected, she was greeted at the door by Atsuko’s beloved pets, all of them happy to see her.
“Where is your owner?” Minami asked, realizing that aside from the light in the entry and the pair of shoes at her feet, there was no sign of Atsuko. Glancing down the hallway, she saw a small stream of light escaping from the bedroom, and Minami had a sneaking suspicion that Atsuko had fallen asleep while waiting for her. Slipping off her shoes, she stepped quietly down the hallway.
“Geez, Acchan, what were you thinking?” Minami whispered as she found Atsuko asleep on the bed before her, face down on the covers and still dressed in her day clothes. “You must have fallen asleep the minute you hit the mattress.” Padding over to the side of the bed, the dogs at her heels, Minami gently sat down beside her sleeping friend. “You’re beautiful even in your sleep, Acchan,” she whispered, blushing madly as she brushed aside some hair to catch a glimpse of Atsuko’s face. “I’ve always believed that.” She gained some relief in the fact that Atsuko was indeed asleep at the moment, using the opportunity to prepare herself for the conversation they would undoubtedly have later.
“I do love you, Atsuko,” Minami stated in a hushed tone, somewhere between a whisper and her normal speaking decibel. A small sigh escaped Minami’s lips as leaned back on the bed beside her slumbering friend. “I hate knowing that all this time, my ignorance has caused you pain. I don’t want to make you wait any longer, Atsuko,” she admitted, lifting a hand above her face. She stared at it for a moment before clenching it to her chest. “I came here tonight having made a decision. But first,” a mischievous smile claimed her face, and Minami rolled off the bed, setting her hands on her hips as the dogs circled her excitedly. “You need to wake up.”
Minami bent down to her companions, and after obligatory licks to her face, she lifted the small dogs and placed them on the bed beside Atsuko. “Get ‘er, guys,” she commanded with a small laugh, and as if on cue the dogs attacked their owner merrily.
“Minami!” a sleepy Atsuko yelled somewhat angrily, quickly connecting the dogs’ actions with her friend’s presence.
“Good evening, Atsuko,” Minami greeted with a smile. “Go change and freshen up while I feed these guys.”
“Minami, come back here!” Atsuko yelled after Minami’s back, giggling as she was once again tackled by the dogs. “No fair!”
Minami set about swiftly preparing dinner not only for the pets but also for her and Atsuko. Hearing the sound of the bathroom faucet, Minami was not surprised when a moment later the pets had returned to her feet, Atsuko’s cat having since joined the gaggle.
“Here you go, guys,” Minami announced, setting the bowls of food on the floor. She smiled as she watched the animals attack their food ferociously, a behavior reminiscent of their owner. Turning back to the stove, she began quietly singing a song as she stirred the pot of food before her.
“Hajimete kimi to deatta hi boku wa biru no mukou no sora wo itsu made mo sagashiteta…”*
“You’re singing that song again,” a still sleepy voice said from behind her as a pair of arms snaked around her waist, and Minami felt her face flush immediately. Her heart was racing, and Minami thought for a minute that it might leap from her chest as Atsuko’s breath tickled her ear. “Why do you always sing that song?”
Minami didn’t answer right away as another memory came to mind, a memory from months ago.
/////
“You were singing that song again,” Tomochin stated as she sat down beside Minami. Following the short girl’s line of sight, she easily determined that Minami was watching Atsuko dancing out on stage. “You do know why you sing that song all the time, right?” she asked, earning Minami’s attention. Minami tilted her head to the side, not knowing the answer, and Tomochin rolled her eyes at Minami’s ignorance before speaking again. “This is just my opinion, granted, but the refrain of that song… doesn’t it remind you anything?” Minami stared back at her blankly, so Tomochin elaborated, her voice betraying an old, forgotten sadness. “I caught you that day, staring at her for minutes, off in your own little world.”
“What are you talking about?” Minami asked, reaching a hand behind her head sheepishly as her cheeks grew red.
Seeing that Minami was not going to admit to it, Tomochin stood and walked away with a shake of her head. Minami returned her focus to the girl on stage.
“Is that really when these feelings first began to develop?” she wondered, as the image of a young, smiling Atsuko with a flower in her hair came to mind.
/////
“…Kimi ga oshiete kureta hana no namae wa machi ni umoresouna chiisana wasurena kusa.”
“Forget-me-not,” Atsuko whispered, and Minami finally turned to face her.
“Yes,” Minami said, looking at Atsuko curiously. “Does it mean something to you?”
“I think… it does, actually,” Atsuko answered, her face turning a faint pink.
“It means something to me, too. Let’s talk about it over dinner, shall we?”
They set the table eagerly, neither wasting anytime to eat. Atsuko looked over at Minami expectantly, though not without wasting the chance to pop a piece of food into her mouth seductively. As expected, Minami immediately flushed red at the sight, and Atsuko suppressed the urge to laugh. Though she’d upped her game around Minami in the hopes that the two of them might one day do something more, Minami sometimes still stiffened like a board at the likes of a simple kiss.
They sat quietly for several minutes, both feeling uncharacteristically awkward in the other’s silent presence. It was, perhaps, because of the knowledge of what had happened the last time they’d had a night together like this, as well as the ideas of what could potentially happen tonight. And while the food provided a welcome buffer (Atsuko would never turn down food), it also detracted from their holding conversation, and Atsuko was rather eager to speak with Minami in person for the first time in weeks.
The sudden intrusion of Minami’s confident voice in the silence made Atsuko jump a bit.
“I’ve come to realize that, whether by choice or unconsciously, I sing that song whenever I think about you.” Atsuko, who was caught off guard by Minami’s sudden admission, remained speechless. Minami took a sip of her drink and continued. “Do you remember back when AKB first started,” she said quietly, “you and a few other girls would often tuck flowers in your hair?”
A fond memory returned to Atsuko at Minami’s words. “How could I forget? The dance instructors would always get mad when the flowers fell out.”
Minami laughed, also remembering the incidents. “You always had a small blue flower,” she said with a fond smile.
Atsuko gasped. “A forget-me-not.”
Minami nodded. She ate a few bites of food before she continued, her cheeks glowing bright red. “I…used to watch you, from across the room. You were always smiling and chatting with the others. You know, in reflection… for as far back as I can remember, I’ve always loved your smile.”
This time is was Atsuko’s turn to blush.
Minami gave a small laugh. “Tomochin caught me staring once. She’s teased me about it ever since. It was probably since then…”
Again Atsuko gasped. “You don’t mean…”
Minami met Atsuko’s gaze and nodded again. “It was probably all the way back then that I first started to… well...” Minami scratched her head with a sheepish smile. “Heh, sorry it took me so long to realize that.”
Tears began to well in Atsuko’s eyes. “That’s not something you have to apologize for,” she chided with a small laugh.
Not sure of how to reply, Minami simply shrugged and changed the topic. “Your turn… you said that the forget-me-not meant something to you, too.”
Atsuko slowly ran a finger along the edge of her glass as she organized her thoughts. “You’ll think I’m crazy,” she said with a shake of her head.
“Try me.”
“I had a dream, not long before our dark period.”
Minami shook her head, understanding that ‘dark period’ referred to the time in which they had avoided each other. The phrase was one that Atsuko had fallen into the habit of using during their phone conversations in order to refer to that time.
“Actually, I’d had the dream quite a few times. I sat waiting forever in the middle of nowhere, waiting for someone.” Atsuko, having since finished her meal, stood and cleared the table as she continued. “The last time that I had it, I had found a forget-me-not, and you were there, singing that song.” With her back turned to the table, Atsuko gave a small yelp when Minami crept up behind her and hugged her. It was rare for Minami to initiate such contact, so Atsuko closed her eyes and leaned back into the smaller girl’s hold, enjoying the feel of Minami’s arms about her waist. She stepped from the hold a minute later, turning to guide Minami over to the sofa to sit.
However, Minami didn’t budge, and Atsuko was swiftly stopped in her tracks. Atsuko looked back at Minami, confused as to the other girl’s refusal to move. Their hands were conjoined, their connected arms outstretched by the small distance between them. Minami looked up at Atsuko then, with a strong determination in her eyes, and Atsuko felt her heartbeat accelerate rapidly with every tiny step Minami took to close the space between them.
“Atsuko.”
“Yes?” she answered, growing more nervous with every second that passed.
Minami took a deep breath, her confidence waning just a bit. “Atsuko, I missed you. Even though we spoke on the phone nearly every day, I missed you.” Atsuko watched as a deep blush painted Minami’s cheeks. “I… missed your touches. I missed feeling your arms around me. I missed… being able to have my arms around you.” As she said this, Minami grasped Atsuko in a strong, protective hug.
“Minami,” Atsuko began, her voice indicating a minute amount of shock. “What’s gotten into you?”
“Atsuko… not long ago, you asked me about my heart’s dream.” Minami’s voice was a bit muffled with her head still against Atsuko’s chest in a tight embrace.
“No way…” Atsuko gasped, and she knew that her heart had never beaten as quickly as it was now.
“I have an answer for you.”
“Minami-”
“I know now what I want; I want you, I want us, to be happy. And I realize now and I've come to wholeheartedly accept that I can no longer be truly happy without you.” Minami stepped away, but still held Atsuko’s hands in hers. “I’m still a bit scared about the future, but I know now that if I’m with you, everything will be okay.” With a warm smile and tears in her eyes, she met Atsuko’s gaze. “And that’s because I love you, Atsuko.”
It only took a second for Atsuko’s eyes to fill with tears. Her resolve broken, she collapsed into Minami’s arms. Minami carefully led the weeping girl to the sofa as she wiped at the tears that fell from her own eyes.
“Atsuko, please say something!” Minami panicked, when after three full minutes she had still not received a response. She lifted Atsuko’s face and loving wiped away the tears that flowed down Atsuko’s cheeks.
A large smile finally found its way to Atsuko’s lips. “I love you, Minami. I love you so much.” The two of them laughed at their current states, both of them now crying happily in each other’s arms. As their gazes met yet again, Atsuko closed the small gap between them, capturing Minami’s lips in the first of what quickly became many kisses that night.
They sat together on the sofa, their hands intertwined. Neither had said anything for a while; they hadn’t needed to, as there was nothing more to say. Occasionally, Minami would bring their conjoined hands to her lips. Atsuko, who had earlier insisted that Minami spend the night, fell asleep on Minami’s shoulder just moments ago. As she felt herself getting sleepy, Minami studied Atsuko’s peaceful sleeping face. It was a face she loved, belonging to a person she loved, a person she wanted to care for and protect.
“Atsuko,” she whispered, gently shaking her girlfriend awake.
“Hmm?”
“You need to go to bed, Atsuko.”
Sitting up, Atsuko rubbed her eyes tiredly. Looking about her, she realized she’d fallen asleep on the couch, undoubtedly drooling on Minami’s shoulder in the process. “Only if you come with me,” she teased as she stood and stretched.
“Okay.”
The answer caught her by surprise, and Atsuko spun around to face Minami wide-eyed in disbelief.
Minami gave a slight chuckle. “If all I need to do to ensure you finally get a good night’s sleep is sleep beside you, then I’ll willingly join you. Besides, your bed would definitely be more comfortable than this sofa.”
Atsuko cast a brilliant smile and the two moved to the bedroom without further conversation. Minami smiled when, as expected, Atsuko had fallen asleep again the second her head hit the pillow, though not without first giving Minami an eager goodnight kiss. Taking one last moment to study Atsuko’s sleeping face, Minami leaned down and kissed her cheek before turning off the light. As she settled under the covers, she lovingly draped an arm over Atsuko.
_
Waking the next morning, Minami was confused for a moment before remembering that she’d spent the night at Atsuko’s house. She turned to face Atsuko, realizing that at some point in the night, Atsuko had wrapped herself around her. Freeing a hand, Minami gently brushed aside the bangs blocking Atsuko’s face. In that moment her heart skipped a beat, as it occurred to her that waking up beside Atsuko and seeing Atsuko’s face glowing in the morning sun was something that she definitely wanted to continually experience.
“A-tsu-ko,” she whispered, poking Atsuko in the nose with each syllable. She watched with an amused smile as Atsuko wrinkled her nose before she awoke and stared at her wide-eyed.
“Minami… what are you doing here?” she asked sleepily.
Minami chuckled. “I spent the night here, remember?”
Atsuko shook her head. “No, I mean… you sleeping here, beside me; everything that was said last night; that wasn’t a dream?”
Resting a hand on Atsuko’s cheek, Minami smiled warmly before answering. “No, that wasn’t a dream.” She hesitated a moment, gathering her nerves as she looked into Atsuko’s eyes. She loved Atsuko, and Atsuko loved her. Minami had pondered this very fact for months, always concluding that this one fact, and only this fact, was most definitely undeniable. Now, Minami had the proof in her heart that being here beside Atsuko was something that could not feel more right.
She took in a sharp breath in an attempt to gather her nerves.
“Minami?”
Ever so slowly, Minami leaned forward, closing the gap between them. As she saw Atsuko’s eyes waver in disbelief, Minami closed her own and rested her lips on Atsuko’s. She pulled away a moment later with a sheepish smile, her face glowing red, her chest a little lighter. “Good morning, Atsuko.”
Recovering from her shock, an elated Atsuko returned the greeting in kind.
End Chapter 3, Part 3 (Chapter End)
* "forget-me-not," copyright Ozaki Yutaka (CBS Sony, Mother & Children). The original is great, but when I imagine Takamina singing it, I hear the version sung by Makihara Noriyuki (in a tribute to Ozaki). The words of the refrain have been used here. "That day I met you for the first time/I was on the opposite side of the building/Always searching in the sky/You told me/The name of the flower/Soon to be covered by the city/A small "forget me not". (If interested, many different versions of this song can be found on youtube; the original, Makihara's, and even covers by Shimizu Shota and Chemistry, to name a few.)
I wanted to post this much before Acchan graduated. I made it just in time!
This story is not over. There will be future updates. However, I can't make any guarantees as to when; I really need to work on some of my other stories.
Thank you for reading. Until next time.
P.S.: A very heartfelt congratulations to Minami for her dream come true!
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I REALLY LOVE THIS FIC!!! You are an amazing writer *__* I really love this journey of Atsuko and Minami as they discover their feelings :) This chapter was great & so sweet ^^ I can't wait for your next update :D Thank you so much for writing this :) & I'm curious to find out about the prologue scene u wrote before chapter 1 where Haruna and Miichan walk in on Takamina :) Thanks again!!!
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Very good chapter.
I´m so happy that takamina finally accept her feeling to Acchan.
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just yeste3rday we know about minami achieve her dreams.. and now your fanfic what so percfect this chapter.. :D of course my pervermind wants to know aout the nest step about atsumina couple :D
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At this point, I think I'm running out on what to say about your story other than it is amazing.
I love that you didn't drag out Takamina figuring out her own feelings; waiting on your future updates are always worth it.
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I'm always waiting and enjoying this awesome fic of yours. As usual this update made me smile, I still love how you write and how the story is so nicely progressing. This chapter is filled with so many sweet moments between AtsuMina that it's damn comforting me on still trying to accept Acchan's graduation. I just love how innocent their love is all hugging and kissing, but so in such a heartfelt way...Though, my perverted mind wants more upon reading AtsuMina sharing the same bed and what not haha I trust that you'll have even greater things to come. There should be much drama on the way too I know it lol. Waiting patiently for your future updates! Good luck on your other fics too, I shall go stalk them now hehe. :wub:
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Im being left behind! ***poor me so busy***
This one of my most followed fic
I'm not an active commenter just a silent reader..
but now Im commenting and I cant explain my words
I just love this.. whats the word next to great? is it awesome? or amazing? because you've got it all!
Thank you!
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Yay!!! Finally!!! Good job Acchan!!!
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Another great chapter from you :heart:! And Minami accepted her feelings and now they're together. I was so sad after Acchan's graduation yesterday that I didn't reply but this cheered me up. Knowing well that there will be storms ahead of them but love needs challenges to be strong, right?
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I very much love this story :D & I'm dying to know what happens! Really love the story & your characters & of course Atsumina's development so please please update if you're still continuing this fic, which I hope you are :D If so I will gather all my patience and wait :D Thanks for writing such an awesome fic ^^
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I drop by to drag this fic back up. Hitobo-san where are you :(
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Enters the abandoned thread and picks up a microphone. "Hello? Is anybody there?"
So... how are ya folks? I'm here to deliver those four words that you've all been dreading to read.
Portraits is officially cancelled.
Wait, come back!
That was just an idiotic joke. Honest. Go ahead, send me hate messages. I deserve them for making such wonderful readers wait so long. I'm not worthy of all of you. You deserve better in a writer.
Well, I kind of sort of might have mentioned possibly making an update by the end of the month, so here you are. Below is a scene that was omitted from the end of Chapter 3 because I like where that chapter ended and this scene doesn't quite have the same feel as the rest of the chapter did. It doesn't fit at the start of Chapter 4, either, so it gets its own update. One could call it an interlude, as it does not advance the plot in any way. I'll talk some more in the ending notes, so for now, let's ease our way back into things with a little lighthearted playfulness. Please enjoy.
Oh, and it's been a while, so here's a disclaimer:
Though all characters contained herein are based on actual persons, monetary profit has been neither sought nor gained with the writing of this story. This story is purely fictional, and nothing within it should be used as source material for Wikipedia.
Waking the next morning, Minami was confused for a moment before remembering that she’d spent the night at Atsuko’s house. She turned to face Atsuko, realizing that at some point in the night, Atsuko had wrapped herself around her. Freeing a hand, Minami gently brushed aside the bangs blocking Atsuko’s face. In that moment her heart skipped a beat, as it occurred to her that waking up beside Atsuko and seeing Atsuko’s face glowing in the morning sun was something that she definitely wanted to continually experience.
“A-tsu-ko,” she whispered, poking Atsuko in the nose with each syllable. She watched with an amused smile as Atsuko wrinkled her nose before she awoke and stared at her wide-eyed.
“Minami… what are you doing here?” she asked sleepily.
Minami chuckled. “I spent the night here, remember?”
Atsuko shook her head. “No, I mean… you sleeping here, beside me; everything that was said last night; that wasn’t a dream?”
Resting a hand on Atsuko’s cheek, Minami smiled warmly before answering. “No, that wasn’t a dream.” She hesitated a moment, gathering her nerves as she looked into Atsuko’s eyes. She loved Atsuko, and Atsuko loved her. Minami had pondered this very fact for months, always concluding that this one fact, and only this fact, was most definitely undeniable. Now, Minami had the proof in her heart that being here beside Atsuko was something that could not feel more right.
She took in a sharp breath in an attempt to gather her nerves.
“Minami?”
Ever so slowly, Minami leaned forward, closing the gap between them. As she saw Atsuko’s eyes waver in disbelief, Minami closed her own and rested her lips on Atsuko’s. She pulled away a moment later with a sheepish smile, her face glowing red, her chest a little lighter. “Good morning, Atsuko.”
Recovering from her shock, an elated Atsuko returned the greeting in kind.
Portraits
An AKB48 Fan Fiction
Chapter 3.5 - Interlude
“Oomph!”
A thud followed by a corresponding groan sounded through the dressing room. Yuko stood over Sae, beaming down triumphantly. Only her face was visible, the rest of her comfortably ensconced in a sleeping bag.
“Oshima wins again!” she shouted gleefully, though none of the others present paid her any mind. The day was just beginning and the chosen members were slowly gathering at the sight where they would soon be filming their latest PV. Those present had other things on their minds to worry about, and at this point had grown accustom to ignoring the antics of the notorious Team K trio, even when not all members of said trio were present.
“What do you mean by ‘again’?” Sae questioned, groaning as she wriggled on the ground. She, too, was decked head to toe in a sleeping bag, struggling to stand. “I’ve won every match before that. Now step aside; I’m trying to get up.”
“That’s easier said than done,” Yuko muttered playfully, waddling a couple steps to the side before daring to take a small hop.
“What are you two idiots doing?” a newly arrived Miichan asked, standing a safe distance away from the two. She stared at them curiously, not quite sure what to make of the situation. As Yuko opened her mouth to explain Miichan held a hand up before her, silencing what was to come. “Wait; on second thought, don’t tell me. I’m just curious to know where you found sleeping bags.”
“The staff always has a few bags at these shoots, just in case,” Sae answered, finally making it to her sleeping bag covered feet. “Yuko just worked her charm and convinced one of the workers to give us a couple.”
“Wow, look at that glint in her eyes!” Yuko teased, nodding toward Miichan. She eagerly shuffled closer to the younger girl. “Sae-chan, I think she lied; I think she really is interested.” Yuko turned and cast Sae a stern look. “You lost, so give her your bag. You can be the referee.”
“What is it exactly that you claim I want to play?” Miichan asked, stepping back cautiously. If she had learned anything as a member of Team K it was to not jump headfirst into the Trio’s games.
Sae smiled mischievously as she stepped out of the bag. “Wriggle Wars.”
“Wriggle Wars?” Miichan repeated hesitantly while at the same time absentmindedly accepting the bag from Sae.
Yuko nodded. “Each participant dons a sleeping bag and then you try to knock each other down. Pin the other person down for three seconds to win.”
“This sounds dangerous…”
“Sure, but it’s fun! We play it all the time with Sayaka.”
Miichan glanced between the two eager women before her. She accepted the challenge with a sigh and a shake of her head, though admittedly she was a bit intrigued. “Alright, just this once, but then I really need to get my make-up done.”
“All set?” Sae asked a minute later, pulling the zipper of Miichan’s bag the final centimeters to her chin.
“Yes,” both Yuko and Miichan affirmed with nods.
“The contestants are Oshima Yuko and Minegishi Minami,” Sae announced in her best imitation of a sports official. “Ready…”
“Yuuchan?” A voice called, betraying a hint of worry. Haruna stood in the doorway with a perplexed expression. She had arrived to find a rather unusual (though not completely surprising) scene unfolding.
“Nyan Nyan!” Yuko shouted, turning to the doorway to greet Haruna with an eager smile.
“Set…”
Hearing Sae’s voice, Yuko was about to return her attention to her opponent when something behind Haruna caught her attention. There stood Atsuko and Minami, hand in hand, a sight that was not uncommon. Yet there was something different about them and Yuko was instantly lost in thought, watching with wonder as Atsuko cast Minami a brilliant smile.
“Go!”
WHAM
“Yuuchan!” Haruna screamed as she watched Yuko get knocked back several feet, her head hitting the ground forcefully. She ran over to Yuko, taking her in her arms and gently brushing aside Yuko’s bangs from her eyes. “Yuko?” she whispered, her worry not subsiding as the cradled girl slowly opened her eyes and squinted against the light. “Are you okay?”
“I am now that you’re holding me, pretty lady,” Yuko answered cheekily, though earning a relieved smile from Haruna. She looked over Haruna’s shoulder to see Sae and Miichan looking down at her both guiltily and mortified. “Minegishi wins,” she joked with a smile.
“Oh thank goodness,” Miichan declared with a sigh. “I thought for sure Kojiharu was going to have reason to kill me.”
“No, this is my fault,” Sae stated seriously. “Obviously I’m not a very good referee. I should have realized Yuko was no longer focused on the match.”
“Hey, yeah! What’s up with that, Yuko?”
She grinned proudly. “At first I turned to greet my beautiful Kojipa,” she admitted, earning a small blush and a roll of the eyes from Haruna. “But then the two behind her caught my attention. There’s something different about them.”
“Acchan and Takamina?” Haruna asked, helping to clarify the situation. Gently, she unzipped the bag to free Yuko. “They showed up together this morning; I heard them whispering in the hallway.”
“What’s so different?” Sae asked as she glanced over at the two in question. They stood close together, their ever present lovers’ aura keeping others from being too near. Atsuko was laughing at something Minami had said, the smaller girl grinning sheepishly with a light blush on her cheeks. “They seem the same to me.”
“Acchan’s smile,” Yuko said as she sat up, her voice almost a whisper. “It seemed real; truer than it has been for years.”
“Nyan Nyan,” Miichan started inquisitively, “you said they showed up together?”
Haruna nodded. “Yes, I saw them- ah!” she gasped, a smile suddenly brimming on her lips. “I’m quite sure I overheard Takamina asking Acchan about telling us something. I could be mistaken; she grew suspiciously silent as I walked by them.”
Miichan gave a curious tilt of the head, thinking silently for a moment before her eyes met with Haruna’s. Suddenly, each pointed a finger in the air, as if to say, “I’ve got it!”
“You don’t think-” they both suggested, quickly realizing that they were in agreement.
“Hey, I feel like having a little fun teasing the midget captain. Yuko, do you think you can handle a bit of acting?”
Yuko grinned eagerly, though a bit confused. “Sure.”
“Hey, Takamina!” Miichan called over her shoulder, stealing the summoned girl’s attention from Atsuko. “Get over here; the squirrel’s talking crazy. I think the bump to her head knocked a few screws loose.”
“What’s wrong?” Minami asked worriedly, focusing on Yuko as she arrived. Acchan followed behind her, just as upset.
“Like I said,” Miichan started, meeting Yuko’s eyes and giving a small wink. The confusion that had been reflected in Yuko’s eyes dissipated in a mischievous glint. “Yuko hit her head and now she’s talking nonsense.”
Minami frowned, her evident worry growing. “How are you feeling, Oshima-san?” she asked, kneeling before Yuko. “How hard did you hit your head? Miichan sacked you pretty good, huh?”
When Minami knelt down something had caught Yuko’s eye, and she sent a quick, mischievous glance to Haruna for just a second, so quickly that it went unnoticed by Minami.
“I’m sorry… Do I know you?” Yuko asked, looking up at Minami doubtfully. The others quickly turned away to hide their snickering.
“What?” Minami gasped. “What do you mean, ‘Do you know me?’ Of course you know me!”
“Do I really?” Yuko asked, continuing the act. Atsuko cast a curious glance at Miichan and Sae who, standing behind Minami, were doing a poor job hiding their amusement. Seeing her glance, Miichan raised a finger to her lips and gave a wink, allowing Atsuko to quickly catch on that this was all an act. Relieved to know that Yuko was not seriously injured, she shook her head amusedly at their antics.
“I’m Takamina, remember?” a panicked Minami replied. “Takahashi Minami. Takamina!”
Yuko shook her head defiantly. “No, you can’t be Takamina,” she answered, her voice lilting teasingly. Slowly, she lifted a hand to Minami’s collar, the younger girl quickly growing stiff at the touch. A dangerous smile graced Yuko’s lips and she glanced around at the others. When next she spoke, it was a slightly surprised Atsuko’s gaze that she held, not Minami’s. “You see, the Takamina I know wouldn’t have a hickey,” she stated, suddenly pulling Minami’s shirt collar aside to reveal the offending mark just above her collar bone.
As expected, Atsuko’s cheeks tinged pink as she dropped her gaze, a sure sign of her guilt.
“No way!” Miichan and Sae shouted as Yuko’s act was quickly disregarded.
“Y-you said you didn’t!” a now very embarrassed Minami exclaimed, immediately jumping up to confront Atsuko. “I don’t even remember you doing anything that could result with my having this!” she continued as she covered the offending mark with her hand.
Atsuko looked away feigning ignorance and then turned back a few seconds later with a loving smile. “Sorry, I couldn’t help it.”
“But… when? How?”
“You were right!” Haruna chirped suddenly, looking from Atsuko to Yuko. “Her smile is more genuine now.”
“Okay, you two: spill,” Miichan commanded, draping her arms across the couple’s shoulders as she stepped between them. “What haven’t you told us?”
Smiling excitedly, Atsuko answered, “It’s more a question of what my girlfriend finally told me yesterday.”
All present suddenly grew silent and wide-eyed in disbelief. As opposed to Sae and Yuko’s antics from before, it was the small group’s sudden silence that grabbed the attention of the other members gathered in the room.
“Wait…” Miichan smiled, a bit skeptical. “Girlfriend?”
“You mean…” Sae started, letting the statement hang unfinished.
There was a heavy silence before someone exclaimed, “Finally!” earning a round of laughter.
The rest of the present members had joined around them now and were eager for more. A chant of, “Kiss! Kiss!” soon started, accompanied by excited giggling as they noticed Minami’s growing agitation.
Knowing that Minami was likely uncomfortable in the others’ attention, Atsuko lovingly decided to shoo them away, yet just as she was about to do so she gave a slight gasp, surprised to feel Minami grasp her hand. She thought she heard Minami mumble grumpily under her breath, something along the lines of, “Might as well get this over with,” before, in a rare act of gallantry, Minami reached up and with a finger placed under Atsuko’s chin gently guided her head down and touched their lips together in a second-long public declaration of love and commitment.
Cheers suddenly erupted around them and Minami parted a bit sooner than Atsuko would have liked. She wasn’t too disappointed, however, for though Minami had ended the kiss so quickly, she still clasped Atsuko’s hand possessively. Atsuko glanced down at Minami, and though the shorter girl wouldn’t meet her gaze (or anyone else’s, for that matter), Atsuko could see that Minami’s face was the reddest she’d ever known it to be.
“Alright, all of you; that’s enough standing around!” Minami shouted, trying to mask her embarrassment with authority. “We’ll start filming soon, so you’d better be ready!”
Heeding her warning, the others soon dispersed, Miichan and Sae with them. Shaking her head, Minami returned her focus to Yuko and Haruna and a smirking, phone-equipped Mariko that, to her chagrin, hadn’t left with the rest of the crowd.
“I’m so happy for you,” Haruna admitted happily, gently smiling at Atsuko. “I’m sorry that it took her so long,” she added teasingly.
“Yeah, it’s about damn time,” Yuko chided. “Look how we had to find out, too!”
“We were going to tell you later today,” Atsuko said, still smiling brilliantly. Her smile hadn’t faded the whole morning. “This happened just last night, honest.”
“It didn’t take long for you to mark her,” Yuko joked, earning laughs from all but Minami.
“Look, if you wanted to know so badly, you could have just asked,” Minami grumbled as she and Atsuko offered Yuko their free hands to help her stand. “There was no need to turn it into some kind of show.”
“And yet you gave quite the finale,” Mariko teased, earning an approving laugh from Atsuko. She waved her phone with the picture she’d taken of the moment just out of Minami’s reach, the four present laughing at Minami’s expense as she tried to retrieve the phone.
After a few failed attempts, she gave up and turned her back to Mariko. “Fine; do what you want. Kojiharu, you should go with Yuko. Even if she doesn’t have amnesia, she still ought to have someone take a look at that bump.”
“All right! Alone time with Kojipa!” Yuko cheered, the bump on her head obviously doing little to dampen her spirit. Haruna stood and hugged the new couple with an almost parental pride before she and Yuko set off to find help, Yuko eagerly attaching herself to Haruna as per usual.
“I told you we wouldn’t need to say anything, but you worried about it anyway,” Atsuko said with a sigh as she watched the two disappear. Minami responded with a sheepish smile and was about to step away when Atsuko spoke again. “So…” she began as she draped her arms around Minami’s waist. When she felt the other girl take her hands, she bent down to whisper in her ear with a teasingly seductive tone. “May I have an encore?”
End Portraits Chapter 3.5 - Interlude
A bit short, yes, but this is mainly serving as a means to prove that I haven't forgotten about all of you.
Now then:
-First, a shameless plug. Some of you may have noticed a new(er) pinned thread titled "The AKB48 Fanfic Community Advice Thread (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=34969.0)." There's some great advice in there as well as a list of awesome links, so writers and readers alike, please be sure to give it a look. Thank you to all of you that pledged your support and made the thread possible.
-Chapter 4 is roughly 50% complete (28 pages in Word). I might be able to start updating within a few weeks, but I make no guarantees. Most of what I have written falls toward the end of the chapter, as odd as that might seem.
-If you're ever curious about the status of this story or have any questions you'd like to ask, feel free to send me a PM here or an "ask" on tumblr. I will sometimes post story status updates on tumblr, too.
It's been a while, so how about some thank yous:
@arrow27: Thanks for the love! But darn; you weren't supposed to remember that opening scene, haha. Due to Atsuko's graduation I've had to change some things around, but I was able to keep that scene in the story, so it will come... Thanks for bumping the thread, too. About the "journey": One of the things I'd wanted to achieve was to not have the readers simply watch the characters fall in love, but to actually fall in love along with them. I think I could have done a better job, but I do hope some of you have felt this way on the journey.
@Minami-chan: Thank you. And it was about time, wasn't it?
@Haruko: The perfect chapter? I'm glad you thought so. Hopefully future updates won't fail to appease your pervy mind, though I've stated before that this won't be a smut.
@Kid_Alpha: Thank you very much! I'm honored to have put you at such a loss for words, but I feel you give me too much credit. Hopefully the future updates will be worthy of your patience. Also, I noticed that you've got a bit of writer in ya. Congrats on the contest win.
@anonymousdowner: Did you actually stalk my other fics? I don't have many in this fandom. Thank you for your praises and patience. Just as this story does for you, your reviews always give me a smile.
@miayaka: Thank you for taking the time to review! Awesome? Amazing? Wow. I'm truly honored. Please continue looking forward to updates!
@kahem: Another energetic review, thank you!
@Tanchan: I think I messaged you about it before, but I love your words, "There will be storms ahead of them but love needs challenges to be strong." In reading what I have of Chapter 4 thus far, I might have been a bit inspired by those words. Thank you for not forgetting about this story.
@All those readers that don't leave reviews, including the ones that don't even hit the "Thank You" button: Thank you! You're all awesome, and I'm glad that you have followed this story thus far.
Whenever I need inspiration, I always come and read through everyone's reviews from the very beginning. When I've really hit a wall, I'll open an Atsumina picture in MS Paint and use your reviews to make lame promotional posters. (I say lame because my Paint skills suck. I cherish all of your reviews.)
Until the next time.
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You gave me a heart attack right there ya know XD, thinking you dropping this fanfic for real! And as usual, I appreciate your update even though it's not long but it's kinda like an acknowledgement of Atsumina's relationship to that always-teasing-but-actually-lovingly-friends gang. May be Aki-p needs to readjust his love-ban rule since now the captain and the ace are officially together XD
P.S.: you still remember what I said? But but...that means that chapter 4 will have some complications that Atsumina has to encounter which will test how strong their love is for each other.
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I thought the story was finished...
But you gave a suprise... of an extension, an interlude
Thank you for the extra chapter...
I like the way they teased Minami...
But yeah... it was long overdue for Minami and Atsuko to be together...
Good ending too...
Thank you for the fic...
Hope to see some more of your creation...
:twothumbs :twothumbs :twothumbs
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Waa! Was so happy when I saw an update lol! You def got me there for a second with the "cancelled" comment :P
But thanks so much for the update, always worth the wait when it comes to your fic :)
& I think you've done a really good job at making us actually fall in love along with the characters. I know I have! As a reader I feel close to the characters, and that's always a good thing when it comes to reading something so great job as always :D
& lol, my bad for remembering the opening scene :P I get how some adjusments would have had to been made so honestly I wouldn't mind if you couldn't include that scene. It all comes with the writing process :) I look forward to whatever you come up with and write though ^^
As for the chapter, it was really cute and funny :D Yuko up to her usual antics made me laugh haha. Everyone's reactions to Atsuko and Minami was sweet, and Minami's reactions are funny as always :) Her and Atsuko's love definitely shows!
Thanks again for the update! As always I patiently await and look forward to your next update! Best of luck!
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A portrait update...? :? NO WAY!!! :w00t: :D :inlove: Thank you, and please update sooner!!!! :heart: :bow:
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UPDATE!!! yay~ :farofflook: this made me squeal...lol xD especially that kissing scene :on gay: hahahaha AND the ending~ kya... :nya: the encore 'lright! :on lol:
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Ahhhh so short and so sweet, totally worth the wait~!
And thank you for the congrats, totally took me by surprised. (●'ｗ'●)
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I just joined this forum not too long ago, and am so glad to have chanced upon your story. Have been reading nonstop, and only just finished chapter 2. However, I really wanted to say that I am thoroughly impressed with your meticulous organization and impeccable grasp of the English language. I'm no writer… but that much is clear. I will most definitely be up all night reading until the very end.
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huwaaaaaa so it was finally updated. Tbh it was out of my expectations that you'll be updating this yet lol but I'm glad you're 'somehow' back :lol:
Even though it's just an interlude, damn that was so enjoyable. Ah this made me really happy and giggling to death. It has been a while since I've experienced such in reading. Thank you for your hard work.
Acchan, Takamina never failed to amuse me with their special treatment to one another. Kyaaa :inlove: :inlove: They are the sweetest thing :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:
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Finally an update :thumbsup
I love Interlude parts :v
Flailing so much :nya:
Atsumina sugoiii :fap
Keep it up looking forward as always :deco:
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Wow, it's been a while since I last saw an update for this fic... Had to re-read the whole thing just so I could remember the plot :sweatdrop:
Nice job, Hitobo-san :thumbsup I'm definitely gonna be looking forward to your next update :panic:
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YES!!! Finally they got together :farofflook:
everything was really beautifully well written, my heart went doki doki at some parts :nya:
I really hope you can update soon and more :kneelbow:
ATSUMINA POWER!!! :on GJ:
p.s. hopefully Minami would surprise Atsuko more with her love hugs and kisses :shy2:
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Aww, yeah! An update! To be honest, I was going to post this yesterday, but... To all of the brokenhearted Atsumina shippers of the world, I sincerely apologize. More than once I've prepared an update to post the next day and woken to the news of something in real life that affects the pairing. It seems my updates are cursed. Should I stop writing?
Now let's see here:
This chapter comes with these warnings/general fan fiction reminders/random thoughts from the author:
1- From here on out, the majority of this story will be purely of my imagination. (Sorry.) That said,
2- Characters may or may not be out of... well, character.
3- Some events/happenings (like the secret 'election' already made reference to earlier in the story) are obviously of my creation. If a real life event is mentioned, I will likely stray from the factual account of the event.
4- "Lullaby, and good night, sleep tight little Acchan."
5- This is not going to become one of those, "Will they or won't they?" teenage angst/hormone driven stories.
6- EXPOSITION
7- Even more exposition!
8- Buckle up; you're in for a (sort of) long haul this time.
9- My original intention with this fanfic was to focus not only on Minami and Atsuko's relationship, but also their friendships with the others. With this and future updates, I hope to stay true to that goal.
Disclaimer: Though all characters contained herein are based on actual persons, monetary profit has been neither sought nor gained with the writing of this story. This story is purely fictional, and nothing within it should be used as source material for Wikipedia.
Without further ado:
“I told you we wouldn’t need to say anything, but you worried about it anyway,” Atsuko said with a sigh as she watched the two disappear. Minami responded with a sheepish smile and was about to step away when Atsuko spoke again. “So…” she began as she draped her arms around Minami’s waist. When she felt the other girl take her hands, she bent down to whisper in her ear with a teasingly seductive tone. “May I have an encore?”
Portraits
An AKB48 Fan Fiction
Chapter 4, Part 1
[I miss you.]
Minami stared at the message on her phone and smiled bitterly. Placing the manga she was reading aside, she sat up against her headboard with a small groan. Nyaachan stirred beside her, purring happily in her sleep. Though Minami was always happy to receive a message from Atsuko, it served a heart achingly dual purpose of being a reminder that they were not presently together. She had received this same message six consecutive evenings now and each time had replied in kind,
[I miss you, too.]
Thus began their nightly conversations. It was late, nearly eleven, and yet it was apparent that Atsuko was still out working somewhere and so was unable to simply call. Admittedly, however, there was a part of Minami that found a bit of relief in this fact. If Atsuko were to call, Minami was certain that upon hearing the exhaustion in the other girl’s voice she’d be too upset to hold a pleasant conversation.
It had been over three weeks since she and Atsuko had become “official”, as Miichan liked to say, though the younger girl was always quick to emphasize that it didn’t make a big difference. As Atsuko had previously mentioned, the two had been a couple for years now as far as the other members were concerned. For Minami, however (and she was certain it must be true of Atsuko as well), the new status of their relationship only proved to accentuate certain aspects, most especially the harsh realities that came with their busy schedules. She didn’t quite understand why or how it was even possible, but she felt that she missed Atsuko more now that their relationship had evolved.
Minutes had passed, and just as she picked up her manga to start reading again, her phone chimed and she dropped the book immediately.
[I couldn’t fall asleep last night, so finally I put a picture of you on the pillow beside me.]
Minami, though blushing at the flattery, gave a slight frown at the admission, and a quiet, disapproving sound escaped her lips as her fingers quickly flew over the keys to type an answer.
It appeared that she was not the only one whose separation anxieties had amplified. Atsuko, too, seemed to be missing Minami even more. Such a thing was certainly understandable, and Minami felt guilty thinking about it. Due to her hesitance, Atsuko had been made to wait an extraordinarily long time before achieving the relationship she desired. Then when they finally began that relationship, the two parties involved were too busy to spend any personal time together.
They both knew that being together would not be easy and that their growing careers would consume most of their time, yet neither could help but to feel a twang of loneliness whenever she saw the other on television, right there before her and yet so far away. Minami could count on one hand the number of times they’d seen each other in person, and all but one time had been at AKB events. The day when the others had been informed of their new “official” status had been one of those times. The majority of that day had been spent filming and bearing the teasing of others (namely Yuko and Mariko), though Atsuko had definitely not let any free time with Minami go to waste.
[You should have called me. I would have chatted with you until you fell asleep, even if my stories are not very good.]
Minami leaned back with a sigh as she sent her message, remembering with a fond smile that the last time they had been together was five days ago, the day the election’s voting period had officially ended. After a serendipitous discovery that they had the same evening free, they met for an early dinner at a restaurant of Sae’s recommendation. Acknowledging their celebrity, the restaurant’s owner had offered them a separate room which they gratefully accepted. Once seated and left alone, they shared a quick look before breaking into laughter. It was no wonder the owner had recognized them; upon their arrival, they had noticed a large AKB48 poster displayed on the building opposite the restaurant. It was an experience they’d grown accustom to over the years; the unusual sensation of seeing a fifteen-foot tall image of you looking down at you.
Though the evening had been rather uneventful, nothing more than a simple dinner, it had been one of the best evenings Minami had ever had. They did the things couples do, like playfully feed each other, all the while holding hands beneath the table. However, it was that touch that made Minami more acutely aware than ever before that here was Atsuko, right beside her, a person whom she deeply loved and by whom she was deeply loved in return. They hadn’t spoken much that evening; there was nothing that needed to be said. Both somehow understood that by simply being in each other’s presence there was nothing more to be desired.
Minami remembered (fiercely blushing, though with a smile) that after an awkward moment staring at Atsuko (who, naturally, stared back invitingly), it had actually been she that initiated their first kiss that evening. It was brief, no more than a few seconds and not much different from any of the times before, but her mind, body, and heart felt a strange sense of satisfaction from doing it. Atsuko quickly touched her lips to Minami’s once again, and the two spent the next half hour sharing more kisses between bites of food (or was it bites of food between kisses?), each kiss more passionate than the last, until the time came for the two to regretfully part ways for the evening.
Reflecting on it now, the initial kiss was, perhaps, a reaffirmation in that not entirely private setting that Atsuko was hers, and she Atsuko’s; that this was the path they had chosen together, that they were willingly walking beside each other, and that there would be no retreating. Yet the sensation that accompanied it was also evidence that in much the same way as their emotional relationship was evolving, so too was their physical relationship. Kissing had since become an activity that Minami was comfortable with, and, though she was incapable of ever admitting it, enjoyed. As their kisses were gradually becoming deeper, longer, and more frequent, their touches were also becoming more personal.
Three messages arrived just then in rapid succession. Shaken from her memories, Minami was instantly curious as to Atsuko’s reply.
[I want you.]
[I need you.]
[I love you.]
She chuckled at the obvious allusion, though a feeling of guilt instantly washed over her. Atsuko had hoped for a date last night but it had been Minami that had to cancel. Though Atsuko’s words had been nothing short of understanding and accepting, the disappointment in her voice was unmistakable. Minami had tried her best to convince Atsuko to use the evening for herself, suggesting that she get some much needed rest instead. Atsuko was wearing herself thin, determinedly spending more time at AKB’s activities while not compromising her flourishing acting career. Like all the times before, Minami was genuinely worried about her.
[I love you, too.]
She knew that it was likely not their separation alone that was keeping Atsuko awake the past few nights. The election results would be announced in four days’ time, and with them Atsuko’s fate within AKB would be decided. Ultimately, it was a decision that would also have a profound impact on their relationship, for it seemed that the majority of time that they were able to spend together was at AKB events.
Minami would be lying if she claimed she wasn’t nervous about her own positioning as well. Though she wasn’t facing a potential graduation, she was well aware of the importance of placing well in the rankings. Her popularity was a reflection of how well she would succeed if ever she achieved her dream of being a solo singer, which she was slowly beginning to fear might never come to be.
Her phone ringing startled her from her thoughts and she answered it in a flustered voice.
“A-Acchan?”
“Those are not the correct lyrics, Takahashi.” Atsuko’s voice was teasingly scolding, and Minami had no trouble imagining the playful smirk on the other girl’s face.
“Yeah, yeah; I know.” Despite there being no one present to witness their exchange, Minami felt herself growing embarrassed and her words came out a bit mumbled. “But I felt them to be the more appropriate lyrics.”
The sound of light laughter filtered through the receiver before Atsuko spoke again. “That confirms it; I really needed to hear your voice.”
“You sound exhausted, Acchan,” Minami observed with a frown. “You need to go home and sleep. Where are you now?”
Minami would have sworn she heard more giggling on the other end, but she cast the thought aside as Atsuko spoke again.
“I’m in a taxi.”
“On your way home?”
“No. I still have one last thing to do.”
“What?” Minami exclaimed. Her outburst startled the cat sleeping beside her and she reached out to pat its head apologetically. “Where could you possibly need to be at this hour?”
“I have an important meeting to attend, after which I’ll get a good night’s rest. You’re worrying too much, Minami.”
Minami sunk back into the pillows with a sigh. “Atsuko, I can’t help but to worry about you.”
There was a lengthy pause and Minami could distinctly hear the sound of a car door closing followed by a whispered thank you, sure signs that Atsuko had reached her destination.
“Why?” Atsuko asked, returning to the conversation.
“You know why. Please don’t overexert yourself.”
“Don’t worry.”
A faint sound at the door caught Minami’s attention, something akin to keys jingling, and she rushed out of her bedroom apprehensively, phone in hand.
“Acchan, w-where did you say you were?” she asked, approaching the door cautiously. Hushed laughter was the reply, though it occurred to Minami that she had not heard it through the phone. Casting a quick look through the peephole, she flung the door open in disbelief to find Atsuko standing there before her, her keys dangling from the lock.
“Surprise!” Atsuko cheered, stepping through the doorway to greet the dumbfounded Minami in a tight hug.
“Wait; why are you here?” Minami asked when they broke apart, the high pitch of her voice betraying her disbelief. Yet despite her words, her heart had leapt at the sight of Atsuko standing before her. She ushered Atsuko farther inside, and as the other girl slipped off her shoes Minami quickly stepped into the kitchenette, setting some water on to boil. She cleared her throat purposefully, earning a chuckle from Atsuko. “Y-you were still working just a little while ago. Didn’t you say you had somewhere you needed to be?”
“This is where I need to be.” Atsuko smiled mischievously, stepping beside Minami to grasp her hand and lead her to the sofa. “I finished early,” she started, casting a flirty glance over her shoulder. “I deceived you for the sole purpose of surprising you, because we both know if I told you I wanted to come over at this hour you would have told me no.”
Minami could only shrug in agreement, as what Atsuko was accusing would likely have been true. Quickly glancing over the girl now seated beside her, Minami blushed when her memories from the restaurant quickly returned to mind. “Well, what about your pets?” she asked, catching a glimpse of Nyaachan slinking into the room to greet Atsuko. It was a meager attempt to focus her thoughts on what was happening now.
“I’ve already gone home and fed all the animals,” Atsuko answered, gently scratching the cat behind its ears. “And now here I am, exhausted, but I’m thrilled to finally be able to spend some quality time with you, yet you seem to be attempting to get rid of me.” Minami blanched and started to stutter out a response, but Atsuko silenced her with a light laugh. Then, uncharacteristically, she looked aside and muttered, “I didn’t want to go another four days without seeing you.”
Though she may not have said so directly, by her tone it was apparent to Minami that Atsuko was here not only out of a desire to see her, but also because of the pressure of the looming election results. She looked away, feeling slightly ashamed that she hadn’t been able to sooner understand Atsuko’s sentiments.
“Me neither,” she whispered.
“I know you’re worried about me, Minami, but believe me: what’s best for me is to be here with you.”
“I’m glad you’re here. Honest.” She paused. “I’ve… wanted to see you, too.” The words felt strange to Minami, spoken by a selfish part of her that had been woken from dormancy the minute Atsuko appeared before her.
Feeling a slender finger beneath her chin, Minami let it guide her eyes to its owner’s gaze. She felt her breath catch in her throat as Atsuko leaned in closer, claiming her lips in a soft kiss. The contact sent a peculiar sensation down Minami’s back, a sensation she recognized from having felt it at the restaurant and all the times before when their kisses had become more intimate than usual.
A moment later the two slowly broke apart, though neither really wanted to completely separate from the other. Atsuko left her hand lingering against Minami’s cheek, cupping it gingerly. They stared at each other silently; both were unsure of what to say or that anything even need be said. Minami studied the look in Atsuko’s eyes, desperately trying to find a solution to ease the sensation that was now coursing through her body. She watched enraptured as Atsuko shyly (or was it nervously?) bit down on her bottom lip, as if hesitating to say something, and in that moment Minami believed she found an appropriate answer.
Slowly she lifted her hand, cradling Atsuko’s nape and drawing the two closer together, stopping with their lips just centimeters apart. Atsuko, sensing Minami’s hesitance, gently yet eagerly closed the distance between them. This kiss was more passionate, neither daring nor wanting to pull away until it became necessary. As they ever so briefly parted and more exchanges were made, Atsuko fell back and pulled Minami closer to her still, resulting in not only a shift in their position but also a shift in targets, as each slowly began claiming more than just the others’ lips with her own.
All sense of time had been lost when Atsuko huskily uttered Minami’s name. Together with the moist breath on her ear and the warm feel of Atsuko’s fingers tracing the curve of her breast, Minami was suddenly brought crashing back to the reality of their situation. She was bent over Atsuko with her lips firmly pressed to the exposed skin just below Atsuko’s collar bone, mere centimeters from her breast. Minami sat up in haste, realizing with a sudden panic the intimacy of their position as Atsuko’s unbuttoned blouse spared nothing to the imagination. Flustered, Minami hurriedly broke away from Atsuko, releasing her grip on Atsuko’s blouse and removing Atsuko’s hand from beneath her own. She stared at Atsuko, wide-eyed in disbelief.
“Minami, I-” Atsuko started, adjusting her blouse as she looked anxiously at the shocked girl before her. It was then that they finally noticed the shrill sound emanating from the kitchen, and Atsuko’s concerns were left unaddressed as Minami leapt from the couch, rushing to remove the whistling kettle from the stove.
Atsuko could only watch with a fearful heart as Minami wordlessly disappeared into the kitchenette. She sank back into the couch, closing her eyes as tears threatened to escape.
_
I… w-we… what were we doing? I-I mean, I know what, but… Minami took a deep, calming breath and exhaled heavily. How long were we…? she wondered, too embarrassed to finish her thought. She absentmindedly retrieved two mugs from the rack at the stove’s side, the mugs clinking together as her hands shook with nervousness. The feel of Atsuko’s breath lingered on her ear and she slowly brought her fingers up to touch it. I’ve never felt that before; such a reaction to her presence, her touch… She leaned against the counter with a sigh and shook her head in self-deprecation. I can’t believe I lost control of myself. I-I’ve never done something like that. I never thought I could do something like that.
Images flashed through Minami’s mind, her cheeks growing redder with each one.
Wait- where’s Acchan? Did she leave?
Minami stepped from the counter and stole a glance at the sofa to see Atsuko, whom she noticed had since been joined by Nyaachan yet again, the cat lying peacefully on the young woman’s stomach. Atsuko had an arm draped over her eyes, undoubtedly doing her own reflecting on what had just occurred. Turning back to the counter, Minami hung her head in guilt, quickly losing herself in thought. After what seemed like hours she took another deep breath, finally bringing her nerves under control.
How long have I been in here? she wondered. The water’s still warm, so… fifteen minutes at most? Why hasn’t Atsuko said anything? Stealing one last glance towards the sofa, Minami noted that Atsuko hadn’t come after her, and she frowned at the negative thoughts that suddenly sprang to mind. Carefully, she poured water into the two mugs before her.
If she hasn’t said anything, she must be really upset with me for running away, she thought, grabbing the tea mugs and turning to rejoin Atsuko on the sofa. At the very least, she probably thinks I’m upset with her, but… it’s me that I’m upset with. With one last, deep breath, Minami determinedly stepped from the kitchenette.
“Acchan, I brought us some tea. I’m sorry I ran away, so let’s talk, okay?”
There was no response, and as Minami looked down at Atsuko’s unexpectedly peaceful smile she realized with a mixture of shock and amusement that her girlfriend had drifted to sleep, the feline atop her stomach also slumbering happily.
She was crying, Minami noted, seeing the tear streaks on Atsuko’s cheeks.
“At least she’s smiling now,” she whispered as she set the mugs on the end table and grabbed a nearby blanket. Shooing Nyaachan aside, she unfurled it over Atsuko and sat down beside her. The cat immediately reclaimed her spot with a victorious twitch of her tail, earning a quiet laugh and pat on the head from Minami. With a small smile, she reached out and raised one of the mugs in a toast.
“Well, here’s to a good night’s rest,” she proposed, enjoying a few cautious sips. Drawing her legs to her chest, she stole a quick glance at the slumbering Atsuko’s placid expression. “I suppose we’ll talk in the morning,” she muttered, wondering if she’d be able to calm her nerves again when that time came. She let out a heavy sigh, her thoughts once again settling on what had transpired between them. She sipped at her tea quietly, wondering how best to conduct the morning’s impending discussion. Knowing that she wasn’t especially skilled at expressing her thoughts properly or coherently during their most important exchanges, Minami was hopeful that Atsuko would be able to understand without her having to say much.
“Minami?” a sleepy voice sounded beside her, summoning Minami back from her thoughts. She felt a light squeeze on her hand and was mildly surprised to see that at some point she had absentmindedly taken a hold of one of Atsuko’s hands.
“I’m sorry; did I wake you?” Minami asked, setting her cup down to help Atsuko sit upright. Nyaachan leapt to the back of the sofa and quickly curled up, unperturbed about having to move. Atsuko watched the cat with sleepy eyes, reaching up to gently play with its tail.
“Not really. I wasn’t fully asleep,” she stated quietly, a small frown breaking on her lips. “I can’t believe I dozed off.”
“No mystery there, Acchan; your body must be exhausted. I’m pretty beat, too; I can’t imagine how tiring it must be to have a work schedule as loaded as yours.” Minami brought a hand to Atsuko’s back, rubbing it soothingly as she, too, frowned. As she’d feared, Atsuko’s busy schedule was certainly taking its toll.
There was a momentary, awkward silence in which neither spoke. The unaddressed issue from earlier lingered heavily between them, neither sure of what to say. Suddenly acutely aware of their position, Minami withdrew her hand. Atsuko felt her breath catch when the touch faded from her back and she slowly began to weep, fearful that Minami might have been repulsed by her earlier actions.
“Minami, I’m sorry,” Atsuko finally whispered, valiantly fighting back her tears while not daring to meet Minami’s gaze. “That is not the reason I came here. I just wanted to see you, honest, but… being so close to you like that, I was overcome by something and, well… I don’t know. I don’t know what to say.” She paused and shook her head. “What I did… I shouldn’t have done that. I realize it was probably too soon and you’re not-”
“Atsuko.” The named girl ceased her ramblings as she felt Minami take her hands firmly, drawing them closer together. “Atsuko, you did nothing wrong. I should be the one to apologize.” There was a gentle touch on her cheek and Atsuko’s heart quickly lightened at the feel of Minami wiping away her tears. “I’m sorry I ran away. I was just… startled, and a little scared.” Minami admitted honestly, pausing a minute in an attempt to organize her thoughts. She was determined to get her feelings across properly.
Atsuko couldn’t help but to smile when she saw the bright shade of red tingeing Minami’s cheeks.
“You weren’t the only one. I’ve never felt such a desire before,” Minami admitted, boldly meeting Atsuko’s gaze. Her voice was unwavering, surprising both parties with its clear, unabashed tone. “I only just acknowledged how I feel about you a couple months ago and since then we haven’t been with each other much and you know I’m not the most affectionate person and…” Realizing that she was rambling, Minami paused to take a deep breath. “I was surprised by how easily I lost control of myself.”
Atsuko stared into Minami’s eyes, admiring the sincerity that she saw harbored there. A small laugh escaped her as she swiftly wiped at her eyes to remove any lingering tears.
“To be honest, I was pretty nervous, too, but…” she paused, feeling the heat on her cheeks, “…they say that’s what love is like.” Atsuko gingerly cupped Minami’s chin, casting a happy albeit sleepy smile before drawing them together for a less passionate but no less heartfelt kiss than those from earlier. She pulled away before Minami could reciprocate, earning a questioning look from her girlfriend.
“Atsuko?”
“Though I don’t want to admit it, I’m exhausted. This visit was unexpectedly tiring.” The last part was barely a whisper, but the sudden flushing of Minami’s cheeks was a sure indication to Atsuko that the other had heard her. She continued with a smile, “I- no, we could use a good night’s sleep tonight. We both have early appointments, after all.” Sighing tiredly as she stood from the sofa, she took a moment to stretch before looking down at Minami, who sat looking up at her, awaiting further explanation. “Besides,” she began, a light pink barely visible on her cheeks, “we’ve kind of… lost the mood.”
“Well then,” Minami chimed, regaining her composure. She gently picked up Nyaachan and handed her to Atsuko. “Assuming that you intend to stay over, I happen to know a certain cat that would love to sleep beside you all night.”
Atsuko’s eyes widened as mild panic settled over her. “And you?” she asked, her voice wavering as she wondered if perhaps Minami really was now hesitant to join her.
“There’s no sense in letting this tea go to waste,” she said, gesturing towards the mugs on the table beside them. “Go on ahead; I’ll be there shortly. Use whatever you can find for pajamas.”
Atsuko could feel the tears returning to her eyes. Worried that her voice would betray her current doubtful emotions, she nodded silently, slipping past Minami with the cat in her arms. She paused when she felt a light touch on her elbow, enough to send a shiver down her spine, and turned to find Minami looking up at her earnestly.
“I really am glad you came here tonight, Atsuko. I don’t regret any of this.”
Atsuko gently wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand, relieved to know that everything that had transpired between them seemed to now be peaceably and responsibly settled.
“Thank you for letting me be here tonight, Minami. Good night,” she offered with a warm smile. She walked to the bedroom door and paused a moment, turning back to Minami one last time. “I look forward to waking beside you in the morning,” she whispered before disappearing into the bedroom.
Minami turned back to the tea mugs with a sigh. Taking a few minutes to enjoy the now lukewarm tea, she shrugged before downing the drink she’d brought for Atsuko as well. Humming a familiar tune as she stepped towards the bedroom, Minami suddenly paused in the doorway for a moment, smiling contentedly as she watched Atsuko’s chest rise and fall evenly in slumber.
“She certainly was exhausted,” Minami mused aloud, rubbing a hand along her neck before stifling a yawn. Pushing off the doorframe with a small grunt, she stepped beside Atsuko and chuckled, noticing that Atsuko’s choice in pajamas had once again been Minami’s favorite One Piece t-shirt.
Gently, she brushed aside Atsuko’s bangs. “And yet, she still went out of her way to be with me.” As she stood studying Atsuko’s peaceful features, Minami caught herself pondering about their future together, both the positives and the negatives that they were yet to encounter in their careers and their relationship. It was doubtless that these, too, were issues they would eventually need to rationally discuss together. The biggest question, however, was whether the times for such discussions would come sooner than desired.
Realizing that no good would come from standing there and overthinking things all night, Minami reprimanded herself with a heavy sigh and set about preparing to sleep. At some point Atsuko turned over, and as Minami quietly slipped into the bed a few minutes later she immediately claimed Atsuko’s hands in her own. With that physical reminder to comfort her, she finally drifted to sleep, the cat nestled merrily between them.
_ _ _
//Atsuko sank back into the couch, resting her head on the armrest. She closed her eyes in a vain attempt to prevent her welling tears from falling despite knowing that in the end it was useless. As she wiped at the escaping tears, a slight pressure on her stomach was a sure sign that Nyaachan had deemed it a comfortable place to rest.
“Nyaachan, I think I did something I shouldn’t have,” she whispered, absentmindedly stroking the cat’s fur. “It must have been too much, too quickly, too soon.” Atsuko sighed, upset with how the evening was turning out. “I didn’t come here hoping that something like this would happen. I just wanted to be in the same room with her, and now Minami ran away. Should I have followed her?” she wondered aloud, the sleepiness in her voice going unnoticed as she stole a glance at the kitchenette where Minami had disappeared. Though she couldn’t see her, Atsuko could hear mugs clinking together, a sign that Minami was indeed in there.
“No; I don’t want her to feel pressured. I’ll wait for her,” Atsuko decided, closing her eyes again. “This is her apartment, after all, so there’s no chance of her running away.”
//Though there is a chance she might ask me to leave.//
She shook her head.
//Right now I need to calm my heart.//
Taking a deep breath and then releasing it, she felt a tickle on her chest as her shirt’s fabric brushed against it. She slipped a hand beneath her blouse, her fingers coming to rest where Minami’s lips had been mere moments before. “That’ll definitely leave a mark,” she muttered, unable to keep from smiling.
As her thoughts grew foggier, she sank further into the sofa. Thankful for the respite, her body succumbed to exhaustion.//
“Acchan!”
“What?” Atsuko jolted her head upright, torn from her thought of just a few days ago. The smile from her memory remained on her lips as she focused on Tomochin seated across from her, looking at her in a mixture of intrigue and worry.
“I was calling your name for a full minute just now. You’ve hardly touched your lunch at all,” Tomochin stated, gesturing towards the full plate of food on the table before Atsuko. Her own meal had been delicious, and as she devoured the last few bites Tomochin glanced at the waitress loitering nearby, waiting for the right time to come take the soon to be empty dishes. Tomochin returned her attention to Atsuko, happy to see her friend take chopsticks in hand. “You mind telling me what’s wrong with you? It’s not like you to leave food on your plate.”
Atsuko glanced from her meal to her friend in wonder. Embarrassed about having been so obvious, she shook her head and made a show of eating her meal. “There’s nothing in particular. I just have a lot to think about these days, that’s all.”
“Oh? Is that so?” Tomochin asked teasingly, not believing Atsuko’s answer. Having since finished her last bites of food, she propped her elbow on the table to rest her chin in her hand, using the other to play with her hair absentmindedly.
“Yes.”
Still skeptical, Tomochin did not reply, instead watching Atsuko hurriedly attack her meal. A smirk crept across her lips at the realization that Atsuko would not meet her eyes, a sure sign that she was indeed hiding something. Tomochin remained quiet, letting Atsuko stew in her own thoughts, until an opportune moment arose and she cast her bait.
“So then it wouldn’t have anything to do with Takamina’s strange behavior recently?”
“Eh?” Atsuko squeaked, dropping the food she’d just picked up.
Tomochin gave a small laugh as she ceased playing with her hair. “So it is something in particular.”
Atsuko remained silent, though a light blush again tinted her cheeks.
“I’m honestly curious to know if it has something to do with Takamina’s lack of focus these past few days. I’m almost certain it must, since I just broke you out of the same faraway gaze. That was quite the smile you had.”
“It’s true that I did see her a few days ago. I just couldn’t wait until tomorrow,” Atsuko whispered, her words barely audible to Tomochin. Her cheeks grew just the faintest bit pinker.
Not giving up so easily, Tomochin went on. “She’ll randomly stare off into la-la-land. It’s bad enough that I caught her doing it during a TV interview yesterday. When I managed to call her back to reality she started blushing uncontrollably.” She paused a minute, hoping to gauge Atsuko’s reaction. “And then there’s her ear. She keeps touching it and smiling this goofy grin.” She smirked when she saw a spark of realization flash through Atsuko’s eyes. “So…” Tomochin started as she lowered her voice to a level just above a whisper. She leaned forward with both elbows now propped on the table, hoping her posture might seem either imposing or trustworthy enough to coax an answer from her friend. “Are you sure what’s captured your mind today does not have something to do with that midget’s odd behavior?”
Atsuko did not reply as she fumbled to take a sip of water.
“So what did she do?”
Still Atsuko did not answer, using the excuse of wiping up the spilled water to avoid Tomochin’s inquisitive look.
“Okay, what did she not do?”
Atsuko shook her head and blushed brighter then, which did not go unnoticed.
Tomochin smiled coyly, knowing she was nearing the true answer. “Perhaps I should be asking what you did?”
“It’s more a matter of what we almost did, but in the end didn’t, do,” Atsuko finally blurted, her voice somewhat muffled behind the glass of water. She absentmindedly reached her fingers beneath her collar, her fingertips resting against the mark on her chest.
Tomochin stared at Atsuko in disbelief before realizing that the answer had indeed been sincere and not a joke meant to stonewall her. “Really?” she asked disbelievingly, finding she was suddenly mildly embarrassed about having been so inquisitive. She took a moment to let the new information settle, bringing her glass to her lips but hesitating to drink. “Well,” she started awkwardly with a small cough, settling a serious but caring look on Atsuko, “If you don’t mind my asking, why didn’t you?”
“I fell asleep,” Atsuko admitted sheepishly.
“What?” Tomochin exclaimed, choking on her drink. She looked about her cautiously, making sure to have not drawn any attention their way. Only the waitress had glanced over, so she quickly signaled that there was no need for assistance. “W-what do you mean you fell asleep?” she whispered incredulously.
“Well, Takamina ran away and-”
“She ran away?” Tomochin repeated, both surprised and confused.
“We had a small… misunderstanding. She was gone for about… I don’t know; it was long enough that by the time she returned I had dozed off. Thankfully we were able to discuss things a bit later, but by that point the mood had been lost.” Atsuko paused a moment before quietly adding, “Honestly, it would have been a bit insulting for us to just pick up where we’d left off. When it does happen again, I want it to be more natural than just resuming would have been.”
“Like what nearly happened.”
“Yes. I don’t want us to be so conscious about our efforts. I want it to just…” Her voice trailed away, and she held her hands out before her, shaking them in frustration at her loss for words. It grew quiet between them once again, enough that one could hear the ice clink in their glasses as it melted. A loving smile slowly crept upon her lips as she stated somewhat bashfully, “Knowing how long it took us to get together, waiting a bit longer to reach that next step won’t hurt anything.”
“I see,” Tomochin muttered, and she grew quiet for a moment. “Wait… what’s the deal with her ear?” She asked with a playful smirk, enjoying Atsuko’s apparent discomfort as she watched a fierce blush creep across her cheeks.
“I may or may not have nibbled on it the next morning,” Atsuko mumbled, her voice barely above a whisper. She didn’t dare meet Tomochin’s gaze. A small pout settled on her lips. “She wouldn’t wake up, and she had an early call time.”
“Ah, so that’s what’s captured Takamina’s mind these past few days. She’s coming to terms with desire.”
Atsuko laughed lightly. “When you say it like that, it sounds almost too sensual, especially considering the person in question. But…” She trailed off then, and as Tomochin watched the light fade from Atsuko’s eyes she rested her hand on the other girl’s, gently encouraging her to continue. Atsuko did, her wavering voice betraying her conflicting emotions. “I can’t help but to think that perhaps things are better this way. Now we won’t have taken that step only to have our relationship tested right away by what may come to be tomorrow.”
“Acchan.”
Tomochin stated her name ever so gently but with an utmost seriousness, and when Atsuko met her eyes she saw they were brimming with sincerity. Seeing that she’d captured Atsuko’s complete attention, Tomochin granted her a warm smile as she spoke.
“Acchan, no matter whether you are in AKB or not, Takamina will love you.”
The comment was true, albeit a tad unexpected, and Atsuko instantly felt a calming sensation course through her. Her worries were for naught, it seemed, as her very heart steadied its nervous rhythm in response to her friend’s kind words. “Thanks, Tomochin. I know that, and yet… it does make me feel better to hear it coming from someone else, though truthfully I wish Takamina had been the one to say it.”
“Would that dork really state something like that so bluntly?”
Atsuko chuckled. “Given the right situation it’s possible, though not without substantial amounts of stuttering and blush.” A sigh escaped her lips then, and Tomochin caught a hint of glum in Atsuko’s voice when she next spoke. “But… even though she has been more honest about her feelings lately, her “I love yous” almost always tend to be only in response to mine.” Her voice was incredibly soft, as if the words weren’t meant to be shared.
“Ah, I get it now,” Tomochin declared with a confident grin, wondering if perhaps it was best to pretend she hadn’t heard Atsuko’s last comment.
“Get what?”
“This was her idea, you know.”
“What was?”
“This lunch.” Atsuko stared at her, puzzled. “Takamina overheard me saying that you and I have not been able to get together for a long while. Knowing that you had a few hours free around lunch time and that she couldn’t join you, she asked if I would invite you out, a request to which I happily obliged.”
Atsuko stared blankly, unsure of what to say. “But… why?”
“The reason she gave me was that you’ve seemed a bit melancholy lately and that you could use some cheering up that could only come from one of your best friends. She loves you, Acchan. She’s worried about you.” There was a brief pause, and then she added, “We’re all worried about you.”
Atsuko stared at Tomochin in a state of mild shock and confusion. Wait… does she know? When did she…?
“It’s odd, isn’t it?” Tomochin quipped, sensing Atsuko’s unspoken question. “This unusual election they’re holding. Ever since they announced it, you’ve been in more theater shows than usual.” She looked Atsuko in the eyes and Atsuko gave a simple nod. There was no reason to deny that fact. “Also, when they announced it to us members they said to treat it as we would an election, but have you seen the supposed ballot on the backs of the tickets?”
Atsuko shook her head. She hadn’t taken the time to look at one of the tickets, though now she wished she had.
“It’s more like a simple survey, really, with basic questions like, ‘Who is your AKB48 oshimen?’ and ‘What is your favorite stage unit?’ Most of us believe that the fans don’t know the importance behind the questionnaire; that they’re actually voting in an election. They probably believe it to be generic, everyday information gathering.”
Dismissing what was left of her meal, Atsuko sank deeper into her seat, her hands fidgeting nervously in her lap. Why would management do things that way? What reasons did they have to not inform the fans of the truth?
“The theory making its way round is that the organizers were hoping to get more honest results from the fans,” Tomochin explained, as if having read Atsuko’s thoughts. “They were probably attempting to avoid people voting for a member that might not be their true oshimen simply so that person can beat another member the voter doesn’t like.”
The hypothesis brought to mind an unhappy memory for Atsuko. How many people had voted for Yuko in that election simply because they didn’t want Atsuko to win? How many people had freely stated their contempt for her? She had pleaded with them then, asking that they not transfer their dislike of her to AKB as a whole, the very AKB which she would possibly be leaving soon.
How many of those tens of thousands of voters, people that unwittingly held her future in their hands, still disliked her?
"Many of us got to talking and it wasn’t hard to figure out. Of course, that means that some of the fans could have figured it out as well.”
Tomochin’s wavering voice shook her from her thoughts, and Atsuko glanced up to find her friend looking at her with a pained expression, tears threatening her eyes.
“Why didn’t you tell any of us, Acchan?”
“I didn’t want to burden any of you.”
“So you’ve kept it secret this whole time. You should have told Takamina, at least.”
Atsuko smiled fondly. “I never told her directly, but she does know.”
“She never told any of us.”
“When I realized she knew, I asked her not to.” Her words earned a disapproving glare from Tomochin. “From what you’ve told me, though, I’d guess that it’s because she knows and wanted to do something to help me that she was worried enough to suggest this lunch date.”
Before either could say anything more, a chime sounded from Atsuko’s bag.
“That’s my alarm. I need to go now,” she said as she stood. After a quick look through her purse she took out enough money to cover the entire bill, setting it on the table between them.
“Already, huh?”
“Yes, sorry. Tomochin,” Atsuko paused beside her friend and Tomochin looked up at her expressionless. Without warning, Atsuko bent down to hug her tightly. “I'm sorry I didn't tell you. THat was stupid of me. Thank you for today; for everything before today, and everything to come; thank you for being such a great friend.”
“You’re welcome,” Tomochin said earnestly with a smile, patting Atsuko’s arms as she pulled away. She sighed, watching as Atsuko disappeared out the restaurant. Flagging down the waitress to pay the bill, Tomochin took one last sip of water and sighed.
“We all would have been -and will be- nothing but supportive of you, Acchan. We all love you.”
_ _ _
Where is she?
Atsuko nervously bit her lip as she glanced around the auditorium. All of AKB48’s members were gathered there, with the exception of, to Atsuko’s surprise and dismay, one very special person. Convincing herself that it was just her nerves getting the better of her, she shook her head to clear her thoughts. Minami had said she would be here beside her; what reason had she to believe otherwise?
She took a deep breath, counting to ten as she slowly exhaled.
Today was the day that Atsuko’s continuation in AKB48 would be decided, and to say that she was anxious would be an understatement. Within the next hour, she would learn whether or not she would be able to continue performing with all of the girls that had become her family. She loved everything about AKB48, of that there was no doubt. Of course there were the other members, the performances, the fans’ smiles; but most importantly, it had been AKB48 that led Atsuko to Minami. Of that she would always be grateful, no matter whether she was made to graduate or not.
The fate of their future together in the idol group was soon to be decided, but...
Minami, where are you?
Sighing, she stared blankly at the stage before her. It was certainly a peculiar feeling to be seated a few rows back, looking up at the stage. How many days had she spent singing and dancing on that very stage? How much of her sweat and tears had been soaked into its floorboards? How many different emotions had washed over her during every performance as she stood up there, looking out upon the cheering audience?
Just as Togasaki appeared on the stage, Atsuko’s attention was torn from her thoughts by the feel of a small hand slipping into hers. Slowly, she turned and was relieved to find Minami seated beside her, an apologetic smile on her lips. Atsuko smiled back nervously, giving Minami’s hand a small squeeze.
“Sorry I’m late. Aki-P had something to discuss with me.”
Atsuko nodded understandingly, having caught a glimpse of AKB’s founder standing in the stage’s wing. “I’m just glad that you’re here.”
Togasaki cleared his throat and the excited murmurings instantly ceased. Having gained everyone’s attention, he briefly and expertly summarized their reason for being there that day.
“As all of you already know, for six weeks there was a survey printed on the back of the theater tickets, inquiring as to fans’ favorite member from AKB48 only. Fans were encouraged to complete the survey for a chance to win a prize package of merchandise pertaining to their AKB oshimen. Unbeknownst to the fans, this survey was actually an election ballot form.”
Atsuko cast a side glance at Tomochin. The others’ suspicions had been correct, and Atsuko grew even more nervous at the idea that perhaps some of the fans had caught on as well.
“In this way, we were hoping to gage the opinions of those fans that know AKB48 and its members at their most intimate; those fans whose hearts were won by your performances here in this theater, on this very stage. In other words, for this secret election, we have returned to the very roots from which AKB48 was started.”
Despite Togasaki’s affections for the members, his emotions remained hidden behind his firm tone, a fine example that he was a true business man to his very core.
“As it is our desire that the results of this election remain a secret from the fans, we will be announcing the results to all of you now, in private. Those of you that place well will be rewarded by your placement in new stage units. So then, we’ll start at number twenty,” he stated, clearing his voice as he withdrew a sheet of paper. Then, without wavering, he started down the list of names.
“Twentieth...”
There were excited whispers, gasps, and cheers as all present turned to look at the girl who’d been called. Shocked speechless, she stood and bowed. After a half-minute’s time in the spotlight, she sat down again and the next name was called.
“Nineteenth… “
The process was repeated. A name was announced, reactions were made; the named girl stood, bowed, and sat down again. It was that simple. There would be no speeches made this morning. For the others present, it was just business again as usual.
“Eighteenth…”
And yet for Atsuko, it most definitely was not business as usual. Despite her mental preparations leading up to this day, panic washed over her instantly. Her chest was aching; her stomach was aching; her heart was racing; true, physical, nauseating pain, all a product of her doubts and anxiety. Realizing that her nerves and thoughts were preventing her from focusing, she tightly shut her eyes in a vain attempt at relief and emotional stability.
“Seventeenth…”
Please… I need to stay in the top fifteen to stay in AKB with Minami.
Atsuko glanced beside her, hoping to meet Minami’s gaze, but the other girl’s attention was focused on the member whom had just been called.
“Sixteenth…”
She drew a sharp breath. Her name was not among them. As more names were read the fear grew and she withdrew further into her defenses, readying herself for the inevitable. Everything began to grow darker as her worries resurfaced to the forefront of her thoughts.
“Fifteenth…”
What if my name isn’t called?
“Fourteenth…”
What if, after all the time it took for us to get together, Minami and I are unable to cope with such sudden separation? AKB is one of few things that let us be together. If I graduate, that would mean less time spent by Minami’s side. For me there would be no more concerts, no more PVs, fewer talk shows…
“Thirteenth… “
Suddenly, her breath caught in her throat alarmingly. Calm came over her as her mind grasped upon a surprising revelation.
“Twelfth...”
There was an unusual ringing in her ears, accompanied by a comforting clarity.
If I did graduate, would that really be…
“Eleventh…”
Her calm demeanor dissipated at the word and her anxiety returned, more debilitating than before.
Eleventh. Ten more names; ten more members; ten more rivals; ten more friends. If my name is called, I stay. If not…
“Tenth…”
To Atsuko, Togasaki’s voice now sounded as if he were standing underwater. Or was it she that was now underwater, and he calling out from above? Her breathing grew rapid and shallow, her thoughts murky, and though she didn’t believe it possible, she felt herself sink further still inside herself; deeper and deeper, away from her uncertainties and anxieties. It was at this moment that she felt a gentle pressure on her hand and a light filtered into her internal sanctuary. Instantly, the feel of Minami’s hand in hers served to anchor her to reality.
That’s right, she thought, resting her head against Minami’s shoulder. Minami’s right here. As long as I have her beside me, no matter what happens, I’ll be fine. She squeezed Minami’s hand tightly. Perhaps even too tightly, but Minami was not the type to complain about such a thing.
"Ninth: Takahashi Minami."
Yet just as Atsuko let out a relieved sigh, Minami’s warm hand somehow escaped from her grip as the room filled with gasps and excited whispers. Atsuko watched in wonder and incredulity as Minami stood and bowed, acknowledging her position in the rankings. Then, as quickly as it disappeared, the hand returned back in hers.
“Eighth…”
“Don’t worry, Acchan,” Minami whispered as Togasaki continued, and Atsuko was startled to see tears threatening Minami’s eyes. “They haven’t called your name yet, which means you’re in a great position, both in the ranking and in the fans’ hearts.”
“But, Minami-”
“Seventh: Maeda Atsuko.”
The announcement of her name did not register in her mind. Her eyes still wide with shock, she could not tear her focus from Minami’s unexpected tears.
“Acchan, stand,” Minami instructed softly in Atsuko’s ear. It took a small push from her for Atsuko to finally shake free of her stupor and stand to be recognized. Again, the room filled with whispers and sounds of surprise. As Atsuko slowly reclaimed her seat, out of the corner of her eye she caught Minami hurriedly wiping away stray tears. Still in disbelief she turned fully to Minami, unsure of what to say.
“Minami, I-”
“Congratulations, Atsuko,” Minami greeted, gathering Atsuko in a hug. “You did it. I told you, didn’t I? That you needn’t worry. The fans still love you. I’m happy for you. “
Atsuko nodded, grateful to know that what Minami said was genuine and not just meant to comfort her. Instantly relief once again washed over her. But it was only momentary, as it was suddenly replaced by a peculiar sensation. Although it was familiar, Atsuko could not yet put a name to it.
“Sixth…”
“Acchan, are you all right?” Minami asked worriedly, noting Atsuko’s pale expression.
She nodded. “I’m fine. Just a little overwhelmed, I think.”
“Fifth: Shinoda Mariko.”
This time, instead of surprised gasps, the room filled with confusion-induced laughter. They were all now honestly stumped. It was expected that the results would show a direct relation to theater attendance and yet Mariko was notorious for being the member that was least at the theater. She stood and bowed and then shrugged, as if to say that she was just as confused as the rest of them, but she was elated nonetheless.
Atsuko was so lost in her thoughts that when she returned her attention to Togasaki, she realized that he had finished the list of names, no doubt concluding with a generic congratulations to all those that were called.
“Ranks one through fifteen will be forming three new stage units, as follows: Ranks one through four, ranks five through nine, and lastly, ranks ten through fifteen.” There was another round of applause and congratulations, during which Minami and Atsuko watched nervously as Akimoto stepped from behind the stage and whispered something to Togasaki.
“There is just one more announcement before you ladies are free to go,” Togasaki stated flatly. There were more hurried whispers as the members quickly speculated what it could be. Knowing she’d just met with Akimoto, Atsuko glanced at Takamina, who shook her head negatively. Whatever was happening, she hadn’t been previously informed.
Regaining their attention, Togasaki continued. “Until further notice, you are not to make any mention of what I am about to tell you to anyone not present here today.” They all nodded, signifying their consent. The previously stoic Togasaki could no longer mask his excitement, and he smiled as he announced, “In two months’ time, we will be staging a concert in the Saitama Super Arena.”
There was a silent moment of disbelief before cheers rang out, yet even with a celebratory smile plastered on her face Atsuko couldn’t help but to focus on that strange, heavy feeling in her gut. She’d placed well enough to remain in AKB with Minami and the others. She should be elated, and she could honestly say that she was, creating a peculiar sensation of conflicting emotions flowing within her.
What is it, exactly, that I’m feeling?
A pair of arms about her shoulders briefly distracted Atsuko from her ponderings and she eagerly returned Minami’s hug. She looked up to find that everyone was now bustling about excitedly, unable to contain their happiness.
“Let’s join the others,” Minami whispered in her ear, the feel of her warm breath combined with her husky tone sending shivers down Atsuko’s back despite their location. The two stood and joined in celebration with the others, standing beside each other with their hands clasped together. They were quickly greeted with hugs and congratulations, the room having since been pervaded with feelings of elation and disbelief. Minami excused herself from their group after a few moments, taking it upon herself to greet the other members that had placed well in the election.
As the others chatted, Atsuko remained uncharacteristically quiet. The unusual feeling was still settled in her stomach. Having trouble focusing on what the others were saying, she silently observed them with that not completely honest smile still on her lips. A short while passed before she realized that, whether intentional or otherwise, she’d been keeping an eye on Minami’s movements throughout the auditorium, watching as she congratulated other members and was congratulated in kind, all the while with a large smile on her face.
Minami was holding a conversation with Yui when she glanced in Atsuko’s direction and their eyes briefly met. The connection was there for no more than a second but it still elicited a small gasp from Atsuko.
“Acchan, is something wrong?” she heard someone ask her, accompanied by a slight nudge.
“I’m fine,” she answered dryly, returning her focus to Minami.
Behind the smiles and cheer in Minami’s eyes, Atsuko could see that there was something troubling her girlfriend. Somehow, perhaps instinctively, she understood that the feeling Minami was hiding behind her cheerful act was the same, burdensome feeling that had taken up residence in her own heart. Instantly she was overcome by the urge to return to Minami’s side.
The number of members remaining in the auditorium had dwindled considerably by this point. Easily arriving at Minami’s side, she claimed the shorter girl’s hand with a firm grasp. All that she had wanted was the contact of their hands together, and now that she had it, she waited patiently for Minami to finish her conversation.
Minami had turned to her with a smile at one point, her eyes once again locking with Atsuko’s, and the name of that mystery feeling crept upon Atsuko like a chilling fog.
It was, unmistakably, doubt.
“Acchan?” Minami’s worried voice sounded beside her. Atsuko turned to find that the conversation had ended, Yui having since disappeared. “Atsuko, are you feeling well? You look a bit pale.”
“I’m fine. I’m just… over thinking things.” She tightened her grip on Minami’s hand. Quickly glancing about their surroundings, she leaned closer and whispered, “I love you, Minami.”
Minami knew she was blushing as she returned Atsuko’s touch. “I-I love you too, Acchan,” she stuttered, absentmindedly touching her ear.
Atsuko couldn’t help but to smile at the gesture. “Would you like to catch lunch?”
“Sorry, Acchan, but I have a photo shoot this afternoon. I ought to be leaving here soon. Dinner?”
Atsuko shook her head. “I have a 3am make-up call time tomorrow morning. Dinner tomorrow evening, perhaps?” she asked hopefully.
It was again Minami’s turn to shake her head. “No good. I have a meeting and then no3b is scheduled for a late-night radio program.” It was an all too familiar conversation, following a strict pattern that had occurred countless times since even before they were dating. Minami sighed, running her free hand through her hair. “Things are only going to get busier with this new concert,” she murmured.
Both knew the implication behind her words: getting together would be even more difficult now.
“You know, Atsuko, I’m really glad that you’re able to stay,” Minami admitted happily. “AKB wouldn’t be the same without you.”
Atsuko turned away from Minami as she was quickly overcome with something akin to guilt, her unfinished thoughts from earlier suddenly returning now, uninvited.
If I did graduate, would that really be a bad thing?
“Minami-” she blurted suddenly, surprising even she with the small, emotional outburst of the other’s name.
“Hm?” Sensing desperation in her voice, Minami gave Atsuko her full attention, but the taller girl did not say anything more. Noticing her hesitance and the silence growing between them, Minami took Atsuko’s other hand in hers and held their hands up between them, lacing their fingers together. For Minami, such a personal touch was a more effective method than words to express her feelings.
Atsuko met Minami’s gaze once again, her heart skipping a beat as she saw the smile Minami wore. It was a genuine smile, perfectly reflecting her true emotions of the moment. It was not the smile from earlier, the mask that Atsuko knew had been hiding Minami’s doubts.
”Nevermind,” Atsuko whispered with a dismissive shake of her head. She smiled down at Minami, wondering if her smile was just as genuine as her girlfriend’s. “It’s time you left,” she proposed, leading Minami by the hand toward the exit. “Let’s go freshen up and then share a cab. We can at least spend the ride together.”
End Chapter 4, Part 1
"Hitobo, how can you still write Atsumina?"
1- I will see this story through to completion no matter what. I will not abandon it. The writer in me would never allow such a thing to happen.
2- I've stated elsewhere on this forum that when I write RPF, I write as though the people the characters are based on are themselves fictional characters. In other words, the events of Real Atsuko's life (Congratulations, by the way) will not affect my writing unless I choose to let them.
Until next time folks.
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I actually already forgotten about this story...
I needed to go back and read from the beginning...
But it's good that Minami is starting to be more and more aware of her feeling and desire
And Atsuko is getting more and more anxious about everything from her love life to her career
What's going to happen next?
Would you follow the real life about Atsuko going to graduate at saitama arena?
Well whatever it is, can't wait to see the next
Thank you for the update
:twothumbs :twothumbs :twothumbs
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Wow, I'm really happy that you finally updated this story. I was really missing it so I re-read it at least 2 more times lol
This is really well written and honestly, one of my favorite fic, if not most favorite :D
I was sooo nervous the entire time, wondering if Atsuko would make it and she did, so i'm happy about that. Though it seems like Atsuko really wanted to graduate, now that she was able to stay in AKB.
I assume the story will follow the real event at the Saitama concert where Atsuko announce her graduation? I hope she would inform Minami first because I don't want their relationship to have a rift...
please update soon :heart:
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No no no don't stop writing, it hasn't come to and end yet and I'm with you in which I don't like author leaving their fics unfinished(although sometimes they have their own reasons to do so). We do not let the reality affect our fanfic world.
I also think that Atsuko's pondering about graduation after the announced results. She may or may not tell Takamina about it but if things go according to what happened in the real world, she will tell her.
Of course, a little AtsuTomo excerpt is always welcomed :wub: and do I need to even mention Atsumina? Nope I don't think I have too.
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kyaaa xD :mon inluv: ohmygawd!
those scenes always make me squeal...phone in hand saying that she gonna go somewhere else but really she's going to the other party's house! that never fail to make me squeal~ :farofflook:
thanks for the update! T_T we needed this! :mon fyeah:
I'm just speechless...I don't know how to express my feelings...gah...but luv this~ :mon thumb:
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I'm pretty sure I left an unfinished story around here somewhere. Just gotta blow off all this dust...
A-ha! There it is.
Disclaimer: Though all characters contained herein are based on actual persons, this story is purely fictional, and nothing within it should be used as source material for Wikipedia. Monetary profit has been neither sought nor gained with the writing of this story.
Notice: Hints of WMatsui below. (Is WMatsui still a thing? Is Atsumina still a thing, for that matter?)
Atsuko turned away from Minami as she was quickly overcome with something akin to guilt, her unfinished thoughts from earlier suddenly returning now,
uninvited.
If I did graduate, would that really be a bad thing?
“Minami-” she blurted suddenly, surprising even she with the small, emotional outburst of the other’s name.
“Hm?” Sensing desperation in her voice, Minami gave Atsuko her full attention, but the taller girl did not say anything more. Noticing her hesitance and the silence growing between them, Minami took Atsuko’s other hand in hers and held their hands up between them, lacing their fingers together. For Minami, such a personal touch was a more effective method than words to express her feelings.
Atsuko met Minami’s gaze once again, her heart skipping a beat as she saw the smile Minami wore. It was a genuine smile, perfectly reflecting her true emotions of the moment. It was not the smile from earlier, the mask that Atsuko knew had been hiding Minami’s doubts.
”Nevermind,” Atsuko whispered with a dismissive shake of her head. She smiled down at Minami, wondering if her smile was just as genuine as her girlfriend’s.
“It’s time you left,” she proposed, leading Minami by the hand toward the exit. “Let’s go freshen up and then share a cab. We can at least spend the ride together.”
Portraits
An AKB48 Fan Fiction
Chapter 4, Part 2
Atsuko’s eyes fluttered open as she slowly drifted into consciousness. She squinted against the bright, headache inducing lights overhead. From somewhere beside her there sounded a rhythmic beep, and a tight grip on her hand alerted her to the presence of Minami, who was asleep in a chair at her bedside.
I’m in a hospital, she realized immediately. This is definitely not how I imagined our next time together would be.
“Hey, roomie. You’re finally awake,” a familiar, childish voice greeted quietly from her other side, just a few feet away. “What a relief. You have a lot of people worried.”
“Jurina?” Atsuko whispered questioningly, turning to confirm that her assumption as to the voice’s owner had been correct. The teenager was sitting on the next bed over (theirs being the only two in the spacey room, Atsuko noted), absentmindedly swinging her legs inches above the ground. The I.V. in her arm drew Atsuko’s eye, and she looked down to find one in her own arm, too.
“What happened?” Atsuko asked, though she was already certain of the answer.
“The way I hear it, you collapsed during filming on the set of your drama.” Jurina paused, watching Atsuko’s reaction. “I’ve been here a couple days now, and this place is actually quite busy, so I guess they figured you wouldn’t mind sharing a room with me. It’s some sort reserved room for celebrities.”
Atsuko didn’t comment, so Jurina attempted to lighten the conversation.
“You know, Maeda-san, if you wanted to visit with me so badly, there must have been an easier way to do so,” she teased, smiling playfully. It was a youthfully innocent smile, the same that Atsuko herself perfected just a handful of years ago.
Jurina was relieved to see Atsuko finally give a small smile in response. Sensing that she should give Atsuko some time to think, she swung her legs up onto the bed and rolled over to the other side, where she had a clear view out the window. It was a nice, sunny day, but she couldn’t shake that tingling feeling that a storm lay in wait just beyond the city’s skyscrapers, potentially ruining her plans for a relaxing walk in the hospital’s inner garden.
“Who called Takamina?” Atsuko finally asked a few minutes later, her gaze settled on Minami sleeping beside her.
Jurina turned around with a knowing expression. “I did,” she admitted.
Atsuko nodded. At this point, it was no surprise to her that Jurina or any other member would have thought to call Minami.
“The hospital couldn’t get a hold of your parents. Takamina-san took it upon herself to contact them and she eventually got through. She said your mother would be here by early evening.”
“What time is it?” Atsuko asked, the concept of time only just now occurring to her.
“Around three.”
“Three?” Atsuko repeated disbelievingly. The last indication of time that she could remember was the set manager announcing lunch in twenty minutes. That was… just before noon. “How long have I been in here?”
Jurina shrugged. “I’d guess a few hours, give or take thirty minutes.”
Atsuko stared blankly at her hand being held tightly by Minami. But that would mean… “How long has she been here?”
“Almost the whole time. She appeared not long after I called her.”
That means she skipped afternoon practice. Atsuko closed her eyes with a sigh, suddenly feeling guilty about inconveniencing Minami, though she knew Minami would argue otherwise.
“She was out of breath when she got here,” Jurina said with a light laugh. “She probably ran up the stairs chanting your name, just like in a drama. You’re really lucky, you know?” She sighed forlornly. “I wish I was lucky enough to know how it felt to love someone and be loved by them in return.”
It was a sigh unlike any Atsuko had ever heard Jurina make, and she glanced over to see the younger girl give a small, lightly pained smile. She returned the expression with an inquisitive raise of her brow.
“Teenage love troubles,” Jurina clarified with a small shrug. “My target’s playing hard to get. What else is there to say?”
This time is was Atsuko’s turn to give a quiet laugh. “Let me tell you about hard to get,” she said, gently stroking Minami’s hand.
Jurina smirked, mockingly bowing to Atsuko as if to say, “All hail the one that achieved her love.” Atsuko waved a hand before her, dismissing the fake adoration.
“Never give up hope,” Atsuko encouraged her, feeling she ought to say something. “You never know when things might change.”
Jurina unconsciously tucked her hair behind her ear and shrugged. “She says I’m still just a child, and that I should wait a couple more years to be sure what I’m feeling is real. I think she’s just uncomfortable with the age gap. She’s using our status as idols as an excuse, too. When you two finally got together I was so excited, hoping that maybe she would change her mind, but- oh, yeah.” She paused and then, with a nod toward Minami, murmured as if just remembering, “She wanted you to wake her.”
She’d said this in a gentle whisper, and it suddenly occurred to Atsuko that the younger girl had been whispering the whole time for Minami’s sake. Minami was able to slumber on peacefully, oblivious to the conversation.
Atsuko shook her head. “Not just yet; I’d like to let her rest a bit longer. I don’t want her to end up here, too.” Freeing her hand from Minami’s grasp, she ran her fingers through Minami’s hair soothingly. It had been nearly two weeks since she’d last been able to spend time with Minami, and she honestly hadn’t expected to see her again so soon, especially not in such a situation.
“She brought you flowers,” Jurina noted, pointing to the small table along the opposite wall. Atsuko glanced up to see two vases full of vibrant, colorful flowers.
“Two?” she muttered.
“Takamina-san came to visit me just yesterday,” Jurina explained, reclining against her pillows. She crossed her arms in a slight pout. “Of course, she hasn’t come to visit.”
She was undoubtedly Jurina’s crush, whom almost all members knew to be Matsui Rena, including Rena herself. Remembering her own similar heartaches and worries, Atsuko easily identified with Jurina’s unrequited feelings. She felt compelled and a bit obligated to say something, something more than the ‘Never give up’ from just a few minutes ago, so she took a moment to ponder the right words, trying to think of what she had hoped someone would have said to her back then.
Finally, she settled disappointingly on the cliché truth. “It can’t be helped; you know how busy her schedule is. And perhaps she’s considering your feelings more than you think. It may be that she doesn’t want to hurt you more by giving you any false hopes by visiting.”
Jurina gave a displeased grunt, the kind typical of a girl her age. Atsuko sighed again, ready to admit to her failure as a love counselor, when Minami’s voice drifted to mind in a memory. Atsuko closed her eyes for a moment, reflecting on the advice that Minami had given her years ago.
“Okay, how’s this?” she asked, regaining Jurina’s interest. “Do what she asked you to do. Make sure it’s not just a crush but that it’s really a love deserving of your time, tears, sighs, and frustrations. In the meantime, don’t grow apart from her. If you two are meant to be, then something will happen eventually. Until that time, if you truly love her, then you should be happy for her and respect her decisions. Besides,” Atsuko paused briefly to flash an honest smile, “she’s not so crazy that she would reject having you around as a friend.”
“Well, enough about that,” Jurina mumbled, trying to hide the blush on her cheeks.
It seemed to Atsuko that her paraphrase of Minami’s words had had some effect.
“Guess what Takamina-san said when she visited me yesterday.”
Atsuko shook her head, so Jurina continued with a cryptic smile. “I quote, ‘I’m worried about some of the others; that they might end up here with you. Everyone is working so hard lately that I can’t help but to think that.’”
“And here I am,” Atsuko sighed.
The younger girl gave a small, amused laugh before she continued.
“I almost laughed when she said it because she sounded like a middle-aged man worrying about his daughters. True Takamina-papa.”
Atsuko chuckled, causing Minami to stir. She waited with bated breath until she was certain Minami was still asleep to say, “The others do lovingly call her the papa of AKB.”
Jurina smirked. “Which would make you the mama?”
“I wouldn’t be so sure about that.” Atsuko sighed, gently brushing Minami’s cheek with her fingertips. “I’m a pretty awful mother, if that’s the case.”
“You just listened to me complain about my teenage love troubles and even gave me some advice. Isn’t that something a mother would do?”
“That might be true.” Atsuko sighed, a nostalgic smile on her lips. “Though to be honest, it was Takamina that said those things to me years ago.”
“Eh?” Jurina stared between Atsuko and Minami, dumbfounded. “That Takamina?”
Atsuko nodded proudly.
A sudden silence settled between them then and Jurina took the opportunity to snuggle into her sheets. She watched intrigued as Atsuko began stroking Minami’s hair again. Atsuko had started to hum a familiar song and Jurina quickly grew frustrated, unable to put a name to it. She sank deeper into her pillows, trying to remember the words. Humming the melody together with Atsuko, she closed her eyes and slowly drifted to sleep.
A knock on the door a little while later failed to wake either of the two slumbering young women. Atsuko ceased her study of Minami’s placid sleeping face to look up and see a familiar middle-aged doctor at the foot of her bed. It was her usual doctor, the same one who’d treated her numerous times before for the same reason. He glanced from Minami to Jurina and then settled his gaze on Atsuko with a gentle smile.
“How are you feeling, Maeda-san?” he asked quietly, not daring to risk waking the others.
“Tired, and a bit hungry.”
The doctor stifled a chuckle. “Your appetite never ceases to surprise me, Maeda-san,” he said, walking to stand beside her. “Do you understand why you are here?” The nice guy voice was suddenly gone, immediately replaced by the condescending doctor tone Atsuko dreaded hearing.
She nodded in response, resting her hands in her lap.
“You’ve forced your body beyond its limitations. A few days’ rest might be enough for you to recover this time, but next time the damage could be irreparable. You must stop exerting yourself so much. You must rest more.”
Here it comes, thought Atsuko, casting her gaze downward. She clenched her hands, her fingers tightly gripping the bed sheet.
“Your schedule must change.”
_ _ _
Minami collapsed to the floor in a disheveled heap. She was exhausted, the good kind of exhausted where one's bones ache and one's muscles burn as the result of putting one’s all into an arduous work-out. Her chest heaved as her lungs and diaphragm valiantly attempted to steady her breathing. She closed her eyes, the bright lights on the ceiling of the lesson room a bit too brilliant to stare into. Immediately an image of Atsuko flashed through her mind, and Minami let slip a small frown.
Atsuko had left lessons early today due to an afternoon photo shoot for yet another magazine. She’d resumed her busy schedule as if her three day stint in the hospital last week had never happened. Yet ever since her release, Atsuko had been behaving strangely and Minami was certain that something was troubling her.
Something cold and wet suddenly touched Minami’s cheek and she bolted upright with a yell.
“That’s the Captain for ya! She’s still so full of energy even after such an exhausting lesson.” Yuko was squatting beside Minami, grinning like the Cheshire cat and with a cold bottle of water in hand. “For you,” she piped merrily, holding the bottle out to Minami.
“Thanks,” Minami mumbled.
“Oh, come on now. Don’t be so grumpy.” Minami cast Yuko a stern glare, to which Yuko responded with a tilt of her head. “Say, care to talk about it?” Yuko asked.
Minami took a couple sips of water, looking warily at Yuko through the corner of her eye. “Talk about what?” she asked, wiping the excess water from her lips with a swipe of her hand. "Why is it that everybody's trying to get me to talk these days? Normally all of you ask me to stop talking."
Sensing Minami’s defensiveness, Yuko plopped down beside her with a sigh. Neither said anything for a moment, both simply observing the others in the room with indifference. Like Minami, many others had collapsed where they once stood, their bodies worn out and their energy depleted. The lesson had been quite grueling of late as next month’s concert in the arena was expected to be nothing short of their best yet.
Minutes passed. Five. Ten. Their now empty water bottles sat forgotten between them. Almost fifteen minutes ticked by, in which the two sat quietly beside each other, absentmindedly watching the present members’ number dwindle until there were only a handful of people left in the room.
“So,” Yuko began cautiously, breaking the silence between them. “Care to talk about it now?”
Minami stared at her blankly. “Talk about what, exactly?”
“Don’t feign ignorance,” Yuko scolded, watching as Minami stood. Not wanting to let her friend escape without talking, Yuko quickly played her trump card. “Ever since Atsuko left the lessons early this morning, any time after that that we’ve had a break you’ve had a frown on your face. Takamina, did something happen between you two?”
Minami froze for just a second, a telltale sign. She sat back down and crossed her arms in a pout.
Bingo.
“We didn’t have a fight, if that’s what you’re asking,” Minami grumbled.
“But there is something wrong.”
There was a brief pause, and then, “Yes. No. Argh, I don’t know!” She grasped at her hair, shaking her head in frustration. “I don’t know if there’s something wrong, and that’s the problem!”
Yuko flinched and stared at Minami, a bit taken aback by her sudden outburst.
Unfazed by Yuko’s reaction, Minami continued, "We went on a, uh, a d-date the other night." She paused, feeling her cheeks redden at the implications of her admission.
Watching her, Yuko had to suppress a giggle at the other girl's honest reaction.
"We finally had the chance to get together and catch that movie she's been bugging me to see with her. I thought she'd be really excited, but it hardly seemed like she was there. She barely touched her dinner, and that's not like her at all! She's been like that ever since she was discharged. She's so... unusually withdrawn. I’m worried because her body can only take so much more before she ends up in the hospital again.
"I can tell there’s something troubling her. I'm sure of it, but every time I try to talk about it she avoids the topic. She insists that there’s nothing wrong, but...” Minami sighed, shaking her head before turning to Yuko. “I can’t get her to talk to me. That’s not to say that we’re not talking, because we call each other every day, but she won’t talk to me.”
“Ah, so that’s it,” Yuko stated simply. She reached out to pat Minami’s back soothingly.
Minami nodded. “I can’t help but to wonder if maybe I said something I shouldn’t have, or maybe I haven’t done something that I should have done already. I just-- if I’m the cause of her troubles then I’d like to change that. Oshima-san,” Minami paused, and then muttered, “what should I do?”
“Eh?” Yuko squeaked, unsure that she’d heard Minami correctly. “You’re asking me for advice?”
Minami simply nodded, her gaze fixated on a spot between her feet.
Yuko sighed, unsure of what to say. Her relationship with Haruna certainly wasn’t perfect, as they’d had their fair share of quarrels and misunderstandings, and she still hadn’t the experience necessary to aide Minami. Atsuko’s behavior was definitely baffling, and Minami, the dutiful girlfriend, had good reason to worry. So why wouldn’t Atsuko share her troubles with Minami?
“Well,” Yuko began hesitantly, and Minami whipped her head up to look at her expectantly. “Maybe she doesn’t want to burden you with whatever’s bothering her.” Yuko had meant it to sound firm and convincing, but in the end it seemed more of a question than a statement.
Minami grunted. “Maybe. I don’t think that’s it, though. She knows that I’m willing to help her with anything.”
“Maybe it’s something that she’s not sure of herself and so it’s not a matter of her not wanting to talk about it with you, but rather that she truly can’t.”
“Why would that be?”
Yuko shrugged. “Or maybe… Hey, have you been completely open and honest with her?”
Minami nodded noncommittally.
“Girls can sense these things, you know. Maybe she thinks you’re keeping something from her so she doesn’t feel comfortable being so open about her issues when you're not reciprocating that trust.”
Minami didn’t say anything, and Yuko could see that the younger girl was pondering her words seriously. Deciding to give Minami a few minutes alone, Yuko flopped to the floor and closed her eyes to rest. A short time passed before Minami finally responded.
“I suppose I could be a little more honest,” Minami admitted. Yuko cracked open an eye to see Minami give a sheepish smile. “But how?”
“Alright, Takamina,” Yuko said, sitting up again with a groan. “Just this once I’ll give you my all-star love advice for free.” She grinned cheekily, earning a disapproving humph from Minami.
“I don’t think I want it.”
“Aw, don’t be like that. Just hear me out. You suspect that Acchan might be upset because of something you have or have not done, right?
Minami nodded.
“So, let’s discuss ‘Good Not Doing Something’ and ‘Bad Not Doing Something.’ First up is good, which I think you’ve got a decent grip on. ‘Good Not Doing Something,’ means not doing things like ignoring her phone calls, not respecting her opinion, or physically harassing her.”
“Heed your own advice please,” Minami deadpanned.
Yuko chuckled. “And then there’s ‘Bad Not Doing Something,’ like, hmm... like not telling her you love her every day.”
“I… do," Minami replied, her hesitation earning her a scowl from Yuko.
“You don’t sound so certain.”
Minami blushed. “I’ll say it in response if she says it to me, but it’s kind of embarrassing to say without being prompted, especially now that we’re both aware of the emotions and commitments that those words encompass.”
Yuko stared at Minami, a bit confused as to how someone putatively inept at love and relationships could compose such a statement.
“But with everything that I do for her, she must know how I feel about her. That ought to be enough, right?”
Yuko shook her head. “You would think so, Takamina, but alas, women still like to hear that simple phrase. I make sure to tell Kojipa that I love her every day.”
To Yuko’s amusement her words caused Minami to whimper, the younger girl afraid to think that Atsuko might really be upset with her. They were not even three months into their relationship, and already she’d seemingly committed a great error.
“So what you’re saying is that I need to tell Atsuko that I love her.”
“Maybe, maybe not. Doing so certainly won’t solve everything, and it may not solve anything,” Yuko replied cryptically. She stood and stretched before offering her hand to Minami. “Don’t think too hard about these things,” she suggested as she helped Minami to stand. “You’ll get the hang of it in no time.”
“I hope so,” Minami sighed, casting a glance outside the studio windows. Outside, a ray of sunlight was fighting through a break in the storm clouds. “I love you, Atsuko,” Minami practiced under her breath. Sighing, she turned to leave, jogging to catch up with Yuko at the studio’s exit.
"All set?"
"Yes."
"Then c'mon, comrade. Let's go find a nice meal."
_ _ _
Minami sat unmoving at the end of the sofa not daring to risk waking Atsuko, who was stretched out beside Minami with her head in Minami's lap. The movie they'd been watching had long since ended, and Atsuko's gentle stroking of Minami's knee had ceased soon after.
Minami yawned unexpectedly, triggering a reaction from Atsuko who shifted her position. Turning away from the television and into Minami, Atsuko's movement was enough to cause the blanket that was covering her to slip away. Atsuko's now exposed pajamas left little to the imagination, and Minami knew she was blushing as she reached out to adjust the blanket over her girlfriend.
"Mmm, this is nice," Atsuko murmured as she shifted again to snuggle closer to Minami. Her breath seeped through Minami's shirt, the sensation of it against Minami's stomach sending an involuntary shiver down Minami's spine.
"Wh-what's nice?" Minami asked, caught off guard by the sudden interruption of the quiet that had settled around them. She kept her gaze on Atsuko's face, studying her features in the soft glow of the television. Overcome by a sudden desire to touch the other girl, Minami gently brushed aside Atsuko's bangs.
"This is nice," Atsuko answered with a fond smile. She covered Minami's hand with hers, pressing it firmly against her cheek. "A quiet, relaxed evening at home."
"All we did was watch a movie. It wasn't even a good movie."
"You're right, that movie was awful," Atsuko agreed with a chuckle. She lowered their joined hands and held them intimately to her chest. "Still, it would take more than a bad movie to ruin this evening. Thank you. I needed this."
“Needed what?” Minami asked, her scrunched brow a clear sign of her confusion.
“All of this," Atsuko explained. She momentarily released Minami's hand to gesture around them. "The seclusion. The chance to rest. The freedom of not having to worry about anything for the rest of the evening. Most especially, I..." She paused briefly, the faintest blush upon her cheeks. "... I really needed this opportunity to spend time alone with you.”
“Well, if that’s the case then I definitely needed this, too," Minami stated sincerely. "I was worried about you, Acchan."
Atsuko sighed contentedly, and Minami's heart skipped a beat as she felt Atsuko's warm breath tickle her stomach again. Being so close to each other for the first time in weeks only served to heighten Minami's awareness of the unfulfilled desires between them. She could feel Atsuko's heart beating rapidly, and she knew that despite her relaxed demeanor, Atsuko was also aware of their intimate situation. Minami stared down at her, wondering if Atsuko was intentionally teasing her with her every breath.
"Ack!” Minami squeaked a moment later, broken from her thoughts by a poke in the cheek. She playfully swatted away Atsuko's hand, only just then realizing that Atsuko was now seated upright beside her. “What was that for?"
"You were staring, Takamina," Atsuko scolded teasingly.
"I'm sorry. I -"
"Don't be," Atsuko asserted, smiling mischievously. She slowly dropped her gaze down to Minami's chest and then back up, grinning even broader when their eyes met. "I got to stare back."
Minami glanced down to find that at some point her own shirt had slipped down her shoulders, giving the now seated Atsuko an excellent view of her chest. Flustered by the revelation, she hurriedly adjusted her shirt. She heard Atsuko laughing softly beside her when she was suddenly hugged tight.
"Please don't ever change," Atsuko whispered and kissed Minami's cheek. Resting her head on Minami's shoulder, Atsuko wrapped her arms tightly about the other girl's waist.
Atsuko's heartfelt whisper brought Minami's recent worries about her to mind. Taking a moment to prepare herself for the potential consequences of asking her next question, Minami leaned over to tuck the blanket around them. Frustrated by the ridiculousness of her hesitation to ask Atsuko a basic, everyday question, Minami released the breath she’d been holding in a huff.
“Is everything okay, Acchan?” she asked, suddenly serious. She felt Atsuko tense up beside her, and instantly Minami felt pangs of regret at having asked.
“Why do you ask?” Atsuko countered disingenuously.
“You’ve been different lately. Not quite your usual self. I just thought that maybe there's something you want to talk about, something that’s been weighing on your mind.”
“Everything’s fine.”
Atsuko’s answer was terse and dismissive. Minami frowned, hurt by the knowledge that Atsuko had just lied to her. She could feel the tears threatening her eyes, and she willed herself not to cry as she spoke again.
“If you don’t want to talk about it, or if you can’t talk about it, or if you’re not ready to talk about it; that’s fine, Atsuko. I understand. When and if you’re ready to talk, I’m willing to listen.” Minami took a deep breath, letting it out in one puff of air. She pulled a little bit away from Atsuko to look her in the eyes. The battle with her tears lost, she quickly wiped her cheeks dry. “Please, just… don’t lie to me and tell me that everything’s okay when I can tell that it’s not."
A strong feeling of shame immediately washed over Atsuko at the sight of Minami's tears. Here was someone that loved her dearly, someone that wanted nothing more than to help her, and yet her childish behavior had brought that person to tears.
“You’re right. I’m sorry, Minami," Atsuko apologized, her own eyes quickly dampening with tears. She took Minami's hand in hers, absently playing with her fingers. "There is something that I've been thinking about lately. It's something that involves making a big change, and I'm not sure if I'm prepared for it. When I'm ready to talk about it, just knowing that you'll be there, willing to listen... that's a great relief. Thank you." Leaning in closer, Atsuko whispered in Minami’s ear, “I’m so grateful to have you.”
They sat together in a comfortable silence, Atsuko soothingly stroking her fingers along Minami's bare arm. With her other hand she held tightly to Minami's, not daring to relinquish the connection. Minami was her anchor in all matters, and Atsuko wished to always remain tethered to her.
Minami sniffed, the tears that had come over her now subsiding. She stared down at their joined hands, a frown quickly forming on her lips. Despite Atsuko's reassurances, Minami couldn't help but to worry about what could be troubling her girlfriend to the point that she felt she couldn't talk about it. Her own doubts and worries came to mind, and the distressing thought occurred to her that perhaps Atsuko had reached the same conclusion about her own career.
Minami was suddenly broken from her thoughts by Atsuko tickling her. She twisted away in a fit of laughter, swatting Atsuko’s hand out of her shirt.
"Cut that out!" she yelled amidst a fit of giggles. Atsuko laughed with her, still tickling her. Minami squirmed away again, causing Atsuko to collapse on top of her.
"What did I do to deserve that?" Minami managed to ask, still laughing.
"You had that super serious look on your face," Atsuko scolded, propping herself up to point her finger accusingly. "Don't you dare stay in serious mode. Tonight is supposed to be worry free. It's just the two of us and it's all so... right."
Atsuko smiled fondly at Minami, and Minami felt herself mesmerized by the girl so intimately close to her. “Tonight… right now, here in this moment; I’m fine, Minami. I couldn't be better.” She slowly ran her fingers up Minami’s arm as she spoke, the faint touch having an electrifying effect on both of theirs nerves. “It's enough to be able to escape from it all with you, whether it's just for a few hours or..."
Her voice trailed off, and she paused for an instant with her hand at the base of Minami’s neck, her hair brushing Minami’s cheeks. Minami followed Atsuko’s hand with her eyes as Atsuko slowly traced it down her torso, her fingers coming to rest with slight pressure on Minami’s abdomen. Minami slowly looked from the hand to its owner, who had dropped her own gaze to Minami’s lips.
As Atsuko leaned toward her, Minami absently wondered if Atsuko’s heart was beating as rapidly as her own. All thoughts left her mind entirely when Atsuko’s lips met hers, and in that instant the sensation with which Minami had become so familiar these past few weeks returned, her whole body tingling in reaction to the touch on her lips, the caress on her abdomen, the smooth skin beneath her fingertips…
"...or for the whole evening," Atsuko whispered breathlessly as she slowly pulled away. Daring to look at Minami, she held her gaze steady, her eyes screaming the question that she didn’t have the courage to ask aloud. Minami stared wordlessly up at her in an apparent state of shock.
Taking Minami's stunned silence as rejection, Atsuko smiled and leaned down to rescue Minami from her stupor with a kiss to the forehead.
"You're right," she said, turning away to hide her emotions. "It's kind of late. We should think about-" She stopped the second she felt the soft touch of Minami’s fingers.
Minami gulped nervously, her heart beating wildly. Too reserved to voice her reply, she’d raised her fingers to Atsuko's chin and gently coaxed Atsuko to look at her. Now as Atsuko looked at her, eyes questioning and tears threatening to fall, all uneasiness disappeared and Minami leaned in and kissed her.
Minami felt Atsuko settle on top of her, and she was powerless as she felt her body shift of its own accord so that she could more easily hold Atsuko to her. Her breath caught as the hand that had previously bewitched her slowly moved under her shirt and up to her breast. Acting on instinct, Minami reciprocated the caress, and Atsuko’s pleasured moan died on Minami’s lips.
Spurred by a desire to somehow be closer to Minami, Atsuko moved her free hand to adjust her position. Where there should have been cushion, however, there was nothing, and the force of Atsuko’s full weight caused them both to nearly fall from the sofa.
Their kiss broken, both sat up with a laugh. As their eyes met, neither dared break the gaze.
“I can’t believe that just happened,” Atsuko muttered incredulously.
“Yeah,” Minami hedged, but the one word was enough for Atsuko to detect Minami’s hesitation. “Maybe we should…”
“Stop?” Atsuko suggested, anxiously biting her lip.
“I was going to say move, to… well, somewhere better,” Minami shyly admitted.
Surprised by the admission, Atsuko found she could no longer hold Minami’s gaze. She glanced away with a shy smile, unable to respond. A silent moment passed before she stood and offered Minami her hand.
Minami looked from Atsuko’s offered hand up to her face. Though obscured by her tousled hair, the tint of Atsuko’s cheeks and her genuine smile did little to hide her emotions. With a smile of her own, Minami reached up and accepted the proffered hand.
Hand in hand, Minami followed Atsuko to the bedroom.
_
The din of Tokyo's late-night streets was but a whisper in Atsuko's ears. Her focus was elsewhere, her mind filled with other distractions as she sat on the sill of her condo's largest window, wrapped up in a blanket as she absently stared out at the city below. She watched as bright lights reflected off the windows of the other buildings nearby, and she took a shaky breath as she wondered how many of their inhabitants she might disappoint in the near future. This was Tokyo, after all, home to millions of people. Many of whom, for one reason or another, loved her.
I don't know if I can do this.
She'd left the bedroom twenty minutes ago, having woken for a fourth time in just two hours. Her restless thoughts made sleep difficult, so not wanting to disturb Minami, she'd quietly stolen away to the main room. Despite her best efforts, however, she heard the bedroom door open a few minutes ago, followed by a soft footfall coming to rest in the doorway behind her. Minami was here, her worried gaze boring a hole in Atsuko's back. Minutes passed like this, with her looking out the window, gathering her thoughts, and Minami nervously shifting from foot to foot but being otherwise unobtrusive, giving Atsuko the space she needed.
Finally, Atsuko heard Minami step farther into the room and then in a shy voice say, "No wonder it suddenly got so cold in there. You ran away with the blanket."
Despite her current emotions, Atsuko couldn't help but to laugh. She didn't need to turn around to know that Minami was standing at her absolute tallest height, with her hands on her hips and her chest puffed out, trying to look cool and unaffected by the night's events despite the telltale timbre of her voice.
"You know as well as I do that I took this from the couch," Atsuko said, gesturing with the blanket wrapped loosely around her otherwise naked form. Turning, she met Minami's sheepish smile with a mischievous grin. "But if you're still cold, you're welcome to come join me," she offered, opening the blanket with a welcoming sweep of her arm. A quiet chuckle escaped her as she watched Minami quickly avert her gaze, flushing bright red up to the tips of her ears.
"N-no thanks, I'm fine," Minami stuttered, her bravado from just seconds before suddenly absent. "I mean, I want you. To join you! I want to join you. But, umm... could you go put on your shirt or something?"
Atsuko's lighthearted laughter drew Minami’s inquiring gaze back to her. "I can't. You're wearing my shirt."
Minami glanced down at her clothes and back up to meet Atsuko’s eyes, a mortified expression on her face.
“I, uh… Well, I, um… that is to say, it, I mean your, er-”
"Takamina,” Atsuko said flatly, ceasing Minami’s embarrassed blabbering.
"Yeah?"
"Come here."
Minami gave in, and as she got closer Atsuko saw her eyes widen in shock. Too late, Atsuko realized that the tear stains on her cheeks must be clearly visible in the light from the window. She turned away suddenly in a vain attempt to hide them.
"Acchan, were you crying?" Minami asked as she drew the blanket around herself. Atsuko could hear the unmistakable concern in her voice. “What’s wrong?”
“It was nothing,” Atsuko said as she wiped at her cheeks. “I was just feeling a little emotional, is all.”
“Atsuko.”
Her name was but a loving whisper on Minami’s breath, and the emotions it drew forth caused a lump in Atsuko's throat. When she didn't immediately respond, Minami continued, "Acchan, nothing has changed from earlier. I meant what I said. You can talk with me about anything.”
Atsuko felt Minami take her hand and tried to take a deep breath. "Are you still willing to listen, Minami?” she managed to choke out. "Even if what I have to say might hurt you?”
There was a sudden silence, filled with uncertainty on Atsuko's part, and just when she thought that perhaps Minami hadn’t heard her, she felt the other girl’s grip on her hand tighten.
“Always."
At Minami's solid show of support, Atsuko's tears began to fall once more.
“Huh? Wait. No. Why are you crying?” Minami asked, her voice already strained by the effort of keeping back her own tears. “Please stop crying. If you don’t stop, I’m going to start, and I won’t even know why we’re crying.”
She bit her lip and tilted her head back, trying her best not to laugh at Minami's comical though failed attempt to keep from crying. Minutes later, the both of them now calmer, Minami heaved a big sigh and spoke.
"Atsuko... I," she hesitated, her nervous behavior capturing Atsuko's undivided attention. “Please tell me what's wrong. I’m worried about you. I… I love you.”
Atsuko couldn’t help but smile at Minami’s confession, knowing how difficult it must have been for Minami to say. “I know you do, and that's what makes this so hard to discuss with you."
Minami met and held Atsuko’s gaze. They stared at each other for a moment, eyes searching for an answer to questions both spoken and not. Finally Atsuko gave a small laugh, realizing that Minami was determined to help her and that there was no need or point to delaying the inevitable any longer.
"I want to graduate," Atsuko blurted, surprised to feel relief upon her admission. She looked to Minami to gauge her reaction, and her breath hitched at what she saw. A dark emotion clouded Minami's eyes, an otherwise unreadable expression on her face. Fearing the worst, Atsuko hurriedly explained.
"I'll understand if you're mad or upset. I just... There's a whole world outside of AKB, Minami, full of freedoms and opportunities. I want to be an actress, to live and work in that world, but I can't do that and remain loyal to the group. The effort required to participate in both AKB events and my acting obligations is taking its toll on my body. And the fans..." She paused, taking a deep breath and wiping away fresh tears with an unsteady hand. "I miss too many events, too many shows, and too many rehearsals. It’s obvious that I've been a failure for our fans lately. They're upset with me, and I can't say that I blame them. I can't be who they want me to be anymore, the ace of a group that I want to leave. I want to graduate. I need to graduate, but I can't bring myself to do it."
Even in the moonlight, Minami was noticeably pale. The concern that was in her eyes at the start of Atsuko's explanation had gradually morphed into resignation. She stood slowly, carefully slipping out of the blanket and stepping a few feet away. Atsuko felt a new wave of anxiety wash over her as Minami turned away, her back to both Atsuko and the window.
"What's stopping you?" Minami asked softly. By the telltale shake of her shoulders, Atsuko could see that Minami was fighting her own tears.
Atsuko stepped up behind her then, one hand holding the blanket closed, the other gently resting flat on Minami's back.
"You."
As the word left her mouth, Atsuko was reassuringly struck by the revelation that she was prepared to leave AKB years ago. It was Minami from whom she couldn't bear to separate.
"Leaving AKB would be like leaving you, and I can't leave you. Not now, when we're finally together."
Suddenly overcome by the irrational fear that Minami would run away, Atsuko slid her hand down to and then around Minami's waist. The blanket hung loosely on her shoulders as she drew her other arm around Minami, holding the smaller girl's body tightly to her own. She dropped her head onto Minami's shoulder, and she felt rather than heard Minami take a shaky breath.
"Tell me you don't want me to graduate," she pled, her voice muffled against Minami's back. "I'll stay."
Minami wiped her cheeks then, her hands coming to rest on Atsuko's. In a small voice, she responded, "I could say that I don't want you to graduate, but it wouldn't be the truth."
Atsuko felt a deep pain in her chest, and for a moment she forgot to breathe. "What do you mean?" she asked, fearing the answer.
Minami said nothing. Instead, she stepped from Atsuko's embrace, and Atsuko stood dumbfounded as she watched Minami quickly disappear down the hallway. She hadn't moved at all when Minami returned a moment later wearing her own shirt, silently offering Atsuko the one that she'd been wearing. Atsuko took it and put it on, noticing that it held the lingering scent of Minami's perfume. She didn't miss the fact that Minami averted her gaze as the blanket slipped from her shoulders.
"Let's sit down." Minami grabbed the blanket from the floor and sat on the sofa. As Atsuko sat down beside her, Minami covered them with the blanket.
"Minami?"
Minami turned to her then and spoke with uncharacteristic resolve. "Lately when you’ve been at AKB events, you’ve been smiling a lot. You’re a great actress, Atsuko, and you might have fooled the others, but… I could tell that all of your smiles were forced.” She took a calming breath. “I want what's best for you, Atsuko. I want you to be happy, to wear a true smile again, and if that means you need to graduate, then so be it."
Atsuko sniffed as she fought back another round of tears. "We'll barely see each other."
"We barely see each other now. I don't think things will be much different after you graduate. Things might even become better."
Despite Minami's positive sentiments, Atsuko could see a dark emotion settling in her eyes. She hugged Minami and placed a light kiss to her temple.
"You don't look so certain of that," she posed.
Minami shrugged. "I'm still in shock, I guess."
"I'm sorry."
“It’s just that…”
Minami paused, and Atsuko pulled away in time to see an unfamiliar expression flash on Minami’s features. Before she could question it, however, Minami briskly shook her head and continued with a small smile.
“You’re a successful, amazing actress now. You’ve achieved your dream. AKB was only ever meant to be a stepping stone toward a career, so it makes perfect sense for you to graduate.”
Atsuko curled up to Minami’s side and rested her head on Minami’s shoulder. “You’re the amazing one,” she said with a sigh. She slipped her hands under the blanket and took one of Minami’s hands in her own, absently playing with Minami’s fingers as she spoke. “I don’t know exactly how I was expecting you’d react when I finally told you, but I didn’t think you would be this cool and collected. I guess I was kind of imagining you to be this big, emotional, blubbering mess.” She heard Minami sniff, and looked up to see that Minami had begun to cry.
“You just had to say something about it,” Minami grumbled, vainly fighting her tears.
Atsuko chuckled. “It’s all right; I don’t mind. I happen to like your crying face. I think I love this part of you most.” She kissed Minami’s cheek, eliciting an unintelligible but no doubt flattered response. Wordlessly, she slipped one of her hands onto Minami’s bare thigh and kissed her again, slowly trailing to Minami’s lips.
They kissed for a few minutes until Minami brought her hands up between them, forcing them apart.
“Is something wrong?” Atsuko asked.
Minami smiled sheepishly and cleared her throat. “It’s, uh… almost five in the morning. As much as I want to stay here with you, I need to get going. I have a 6:15 make-up call.”
“Is it really morning already?” Atsuko pondered. Her disbelief turned to content as she smiled broadly. “Then again, we had a pretty late night,” she observed, running her fingers along Minami’s sides.
“Cut that out!” Minami squeaked, playfully swatting away Atsuko’s wandering hands. “I really do need to leave.” She stood quickly, though whether to emphasize her point or because she didn’t have the resolve to withstand another advance, Atsuko couldn’t tell. Minami quickly disappeared into the bathroom with a change of clothes.
Sighing, Atsuko slowly stood from the couch to go check on the animals. As she knelt in front of the excited dogs, she heard Minami clear her throat behind her. Turning, she found Minami dressed and ready to leave. Neither said anything for a moment. Atsuko watched as Minami’s gaze settled everywhere but on her. Unsure of what to do, she walked over to Minami and hugged her.
“Thanks for listening, Minami.”
“You’re welcome.”
“Be safe at work,” Atsuko wished, not knowing what else to say.
Minami nodded. “I will. You, too.”
"I feel like newlyweds," Atsuko teased with a chuckle, earning a groan from an embarrassed Minami.
They stepped apart and Minami made to leave. She paused a moment in the doorway and then turned back to Atsuko, looking her in the eye.
“Atsuko, when you’re ready to tell Aki-P and the others… If you don't mind, I’d like to be there. And when you make your announcement, I’ll be right there by your side. I promise.”
Atsuko felt her tears returning at Minami’s unwavering support.
“Thank you. I’d like that.” She walked with Minami to the door, conscious of Minami's suddenly reserved behavior.
"Are you okay?"
"Mm-hmmm," Minami replied almost reflexively and with what Atuko sensed was little conviction as she evaded Atsuko's gaze.
“See you later?” Atsuko asked apprehensively, not daring to voice the question that she desperately wanted to ask.
Are we okay?
“Yes,” Minami replied quickly, firmly locking eyes with Atsuko. The assurance in her voice eradicated any doubts that Atsuko thought Minami might have about their relationship.
Minami left, and though once again on her own, Atsuko was calmed by the feeling that she was not now, nor ever would be, alone. However, it was clear to her that something was upsetting Minami.
Atsuko felt a pressure on her leg and, spotting the offender, she stooped to pick up her cat.
"It's her turn to trust me and talk to me, right?" she asked the cat, receiving a blank stare in response. "You're right," Atsuko replied anyway, giving a small nod. "I'll let her have the time and space she needs, just like she gave me."
She snuggled the cat to her chest, peppering it with kisses as it squirmed in valiant effort to escape. Laughing at the cat's antics, she set it down amidst the pack of puppies that had appeared at her feet. She headed to the kitchen to start preparing their meals, the animals fast on her heels as she happily hummed AKB's latest single.
End Chapter 4 Part 2
Long time no see, eh? As always, thanks for reading!
Until the next time (and who knows when that might be)
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thanks a lot!!
I had to reread the last episode to remember where he had been the fiction.
thanks a lot... saitama arena.... Saitama arena, brings back many memories ... the first transfers of the group Jurina and Milky to AKB and the announcement of Acchan ...
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This update was in some way sweet and in other way sad.. :shocked
..but still good. :thumbsup
Now there will be more harder time for both of them and hope those two can get thru of it with at least not so heartbroken result.. be strong Atsumina..
Thank you author-san for this update.. :) .. take your time for writing next chapter.. :thumbup
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Oh... Minami now is the one that have some troubles that need to be solved
What's going to happen next?
Can't wait to find out
Thank you for the update
:twothumbs :twothumbs :twothumbs
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Yuko being the adviser is really epic.
Atsuko's graduation would be hearbreaking.
Atsumina Fighting!
Thanks for the update!
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Just wow. Your work is so realistic. Seriously. You're the writer I'll be looking up to. I hope you do finish this story and if you're planning to include issues in real life,I'm ready to read it. Though honestly speaking I'm scared of how much crying I'll be doing since you're way of writing is too great not to be true. I'll prepare myself for all the angst and dramas but just let it still be atsumina in the end. 😢😢😢😢😢😢😢😢 thank you!!!!
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Been a while...
Hope you will continue this story
Though it would be telling of some of the truth about AKB history up until now
But I would like to know how the AKB is continuing from your point of view
Can't wait to see how the story is going to develop
Also the develop love lives of the members...
Thank you for the story so far
:twothumbs :twothumbs :twothumbs