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The Hello! Project Fanfics => H!P Fanfics => Library => Topic started by: whytphyre on May 20, 2007, 02:56:27 AM

Title: Nanakusa (THE END?!)
Post by: whytphyre on May 20, 2007, 02:56:27 AM
This will be a little violent. If you're afraid of people dying, then ... uhm... yeah, sorry! Also, if this ends up being against some something somewhere in some point, I didn't mean to!

I LIKE KEEPING YOU GUESSING. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!

Based off of the adventures I had in my head. And a former roleplay I never really started. This is a fic I will update only when I don't want to be 100% corny funny for a few moments. This fic is not 100% morbid, but it does have a lot of angst.

Genre :: AU Fantasy/Sci Fi (You'll see)

Table of Contents

Prologue (Below)
Chapter 1 :: Let the Pain Stop (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=11075.msg362174#msg362174)
Chapter 2 :: I Wish (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=11075.msg363480#msg363480)
Chapter 3 :: Turtle, Turtle! (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=11075.msg364745#msg364745)
Chapter 4, Part 1 :: Ouch. Just Ouch (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=11075.msg366766#msg366766)
4, Part 2 :: Without Grace (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=11075.msg367829#msg367829)
4, Part 3 :: Sins of Love (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=11075.msg368130#msg368130)
4, Part 4 :: Run Away (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=11075.msg369252#msg369252)
5 :: Game Time (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=11075.msg371134#msg371134)
6, Part 1 :: I'm Not Gonna Wait (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=11075.msg371485#msg371485)
6, Part 2 :: Out of the Fire? (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=11075.msg372404#msg372404)
6, Part 3 :: Grumpy Kitty (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=11075.msg372718#msg372718)
7 :: Without Further Ado (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=11075.msg375362#msg375362)
8 :: As the World Turns (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=11075.msg376912#msg376912)
9 :: First Kiss (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=11075.msg377281#msg377281)
10 :: Game Plan (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=11075.msg382239#msg382239)
11 :: Heartbreak Street pt.1 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=11075.msg384076#msg384076)
12 :: Heartbreak Street pt. 2 (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=11075.msg384799#msg384799)
13 :: Hana wo Pu~un! (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=11075.msg392416#msg392416)
14 :: Wrapping Things Up... (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=11075.msg393966#msg393966)
15 :: ... Is What We Do Best... (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=11075.msg395824#msg395824)

Character Count

Character Key

Alive
Wounded/Mentally Damaged
In Danger

Currently Involved ::

Ai/The ability to scare Hitomi
Aya/Momo-Saki Duel Personality?
Hitomi/Telekinetic, Empathic
Junjun (Li Chun)/Teleportation
Eri/Augmentation
Deus Ex Machina
Maki/Healing
Miki/Amazing Groping Power?
Miyabi/Mind Reading?
Reina/???
Rika/Mimicry
Risa/???
Sayumi/???

Prologue

Blood was spilt all over the clean, white floor, and she hated it. Letting out a small sigh, she looked around a moment, hands on her hips, before eyeing the woman that lie on the floor.

“Don’t you know how to clean up your own messes? I mean, you’re supposed to be able to take a few hits, aren’t you?”

She shook her head, waving her index finger back and forth.

“Tsk tsk, you aren’t getting old on me, are you?”

“Please stop… you have no idea what you’re doing…”

It was more of a plead than anything else.

“Please stop, no more pain? You’re right, it’s not the right atmosphere for pain… Ah! I know!”

Her eyes shot towards the large CD player that lay on the light brown table, both of which clean of blood. That would not last for long. She shuffled through some CDs and, finally picking one, she set it into the player.

denwa mo mada konai  ( YEAH! )
MEERU mo mada konai  ( YEAH! )
hashiridasenai koi no BUGII TOREIN


“That’s better.”

She turned to the other woman.

“I think I have some idea… I’m stopping you from corrupting anyone else.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t think I don’t know what you’re planning. You and the rest of your little lackey friends…”

hottarakashi da yo  naichau  CRY
anata wa MOTEMOTE  SUPAA SEKUSHII BOY


“You don’t know what you’re talking about. Stop before you make things worse!”

She paid no heed, letting out a small, annoyed sigh.

“Please, you know better than that… now, I need a pet name for you in the last moments of your life…”

DAME wa shouchi demo  matteru  tsurai
gyakuten SAYONARA  manrui HOOMU RAN
mezasukkyanai


Pacing about, she gave it a good moment’s thought.

“What was it Miki called you? Kabu-something? And all your other nicknames are completely dull. At least they’re better than mine… I guess.”

She shrugged, and grinned at the woman.

motto  BURIBURI  motto  MOJIMOJI
tsunawatari no BUGII TOREIN


“Let’s call you... meh, I guess Kabutomushi’s better than nothing… Maybe someone’ll be able to identify the body if I put your name on one of those cute little pink heart post-its… Goodie goodie!”

Clapping her hands together, she thought for a good split second before finally settling on something.

“Good. No going back now! It’s settled, Kabu-chan. You’re gonna die and then I’ll disfigure you beyond the point of recognition… and then I leave a post-it note. Oh, I’m loving this plan already!”

She let out a giggle, before cracking an evil grin at the red haired woman, who was at this point trying to drag herself away in hopes that she would be forgotten in the ranting.

“I see someone’s not loving my plan.”

She let out another annoyed sigh.

“C’mon Kabu-chan, if you’re gonna run away, at least do it right…”

“Go rot in hell…”

Kneeling down next to the bloody form, she shook her head and snickered.

“Gladly. You first Kabu-chan.”

Lifting up the woman by her chin, she examined the battered and beaten face that struggled before her.

“Though, a face like this is just… too sexy to disfigure… hmm, Kabu-chan?”

There was a small pause, before the red haired woman pulled away, leaning against the wall behind her.

“Stop calling me that,” she hissed angrily. Letting out a low whine, the younger woman pouted.

“Fine. You’ll just have to die then.”

“You won’t ge-“

“Oh please, what kind of corny backwash has Tsunku been feeding you… Hitomi?”

There was a fair amount of acid in her name when the woman spoke, but Hitomi paid no heed as she leaned against the wall, breathing hard.

“What do you want?”

“I want her back.”
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Prologue up!)
Post by: Arcadia Victis on May 20, 2007, 03:30:52 AM
Frightening, and compelling.

Looking forward to moar.
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Prologue up!)
Post by: JFC on May 20, 2007, 04:39:55 AM
Holy shit Miki's got an obsessed stalker!!! :o

And on a related, more current note...YOSSI NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
 :frustrated: :frustrated: :frustrated: :frustrated: :frustrated: :frustrated: :frustrated: :frustrated: :frustrated:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Prologue up!)
Post by: Kreuz_Asakura on May 20, 2007, 06:37:16 AM
OMG!!!!!!!! Someone is hurting Yossie!!! And for some reason I think I know who's hurting her!!!

It's the first time I read someone use the Kabutomushi's name

“What was it Miki called you? Kabu-something? And all your other nicknames are completely dull. At least they’re better than mine… I guess.”


I just need to read this part to know your talking about yossie


“What do you want?”

“I want her back.”

In this I only could think in one person
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Prologue up!)
Post by: rndmnwierd on May 20, 2007, 09:12:57 PM
Yossui dies? Wow, that's... Awesome actually.... I love Murder Musume stories.
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Prologue up!)
Post by: Tanachan on May 21, 2007, 09:51:37 PM
Is this a nuevo-Misery? I can see this going on...

"STAY WITH MORNING MUSUME! *whack* DON'T GRADUATE! *whack* KEEP PRIDUCING MM SINGLES! *whack*"

Ah, seems it'll be a great read. Good luck~!
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Prologue up!)
Post by: ~Psychotic~o_o~ on May 22, 2007, 02:35:53 AM
blood?...pain?...violence?...people dying?...yossie?...miki? Alrighty! You've got my attention (in a good way)...I say CHURN OUT THE CHAPTERS!!! :whistle:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 1 :: Let the Pain Stop)
Post by: whytphyre on May 23, 2007, 02:37:04 PM
Can I say something? Like, that'll like make everyone pee their pants?

PSYCH!

I would never kill Yossie off. I will guarantee at least two someones die... but you'll never find out who till it's too late... or I foreshadow it unintentionally.

Fluff mostly for this first chapter... and a plot thickening dialogue. Then the story gets utterly morbid again. ^^

At least until I finish another random chapter of Victory... I like that fic too... and I don't wanna neglect it.


Chapter 1 :: Let the Pain Stop

 “Yocchan?”

As the door to Hitomi’s apartment was slowly pushed open, a set of soft, chocolate brown eyes carefully surveyed what lay beyond the door. There was not much to see, just the clean white walls and the equally as clean hardwood floor.

Venturing a closer look, she slipped off her shoes and took a few steps further in, immediately finding the silence eerie.

“Yocchan, I brought breakfast… you wanted to talk to me about something?”

Her eyes darted back and forth for a moment before she slowly turned the corner out of the hallway and into the main room. She held the bag full of pastries in her hand nervously.

“… Yocchan?”

She let out a small noise as her eyes rested on the trail of blood that led into the bathroom. Gathering her courage, she set the bag down on the counter and cautiously inched her way towards the bathroom. Just as slowly, she pushed on the door, letting it swing open, to reveal the scene in front of her.

There lay Hitomi, battered, bruised, beaten, cuts and gashes all over. A single knife lay next to her body, in a pool of dark crimson blood, which stained the white tile floor.

“Oh god…”

Kneeling down next to Hitomi, she brushed a few strands of red hair out of her friend’s face.

“Yocchan… what happened…” she muttered, placing a gentle hand on the older woman’s bloody cheek, trying to find a sign of life. Letting out a grumble of frustration, she slowly, she removed her hand from Hitomi’s cheek, and was about to reach for her phone, when she felt something grab her hand.

“Oh migod!”

Her first reaction was that she had been watching too many horror movies, and new Zombie Hitomi was going to eat her flesh and turn her into a zombie as well. Then there would be an outbreak of zombies, and civilization would come to an end.

“Gocchin?”

Oh good, zombies weren’t intelligible. Not the zombies that scared her anyways.

“… Hai?”

Hitomi’s eyes slowly pried themselves open, and she stared at her friend for a moment, as if she was trying to determine how safe she was. After another moment, Hitomi relaxed, and closed her eyes again.

“She… she didn’t hurt you, did she?”

“No, who… Yocchan, who did this to you?”

“It… it isn’t important…”

“Well, fine. But I have to call the hospital…”

“NO! I mean… no… no, don’t… it isn’t… it isn’t that bad.”

Maki doubted that, but she held back from barraging Hitomi with questions, mainly ‘Who the hell would want to hurt you?’ and ‘Why can’t I call the damned hospital? You’re bleeding all over the place.’ There were more pressing matters to deal with.

Instead, she opted for poking a spot near the largest wound, a large gash that started from the top of her right knee down to her ankle. Hitomi yelped in pain, and stared at Maki in pure anger. The younger woman shrugged.

“Just making sure you could feel that.”

“Thanks. Next time I have wounds that cause me to teeter on the verge of death, I know exactly who to call.”

Maki smiled weakly, relieved that there was at least some humor in the situation, no matter how sarcastic. Letting out a sigh, she gave her friends wounds a careful inspection.

“Whoever did this wasn’t aiming to kill you,” she finally said. Hitomi gave her a strange look.

“Doesn’t feel that way.”

“That’s because you lost a lot of blood… now if you’d let me call an ambulance…”

“I said no…”

“Didn’t say I was gonna. Not worth fighting with you when your mind’s made up.”

Not that Hitomi would have made much movement to stop her anyways. She might not have been a medical expert, but Maki was sure that if someone had lost a lot of blood then there would be lack of good judgment. She just didn’t want to whip out her cellphone and have Hitomi get all riled up at her about it.

She read somewhere that that would have been bad for someone who lost a lot of blood. It might have had to do with the movies again.

But, the wounds were not life threatening. Just the sudden loss of blood. There were no wounds near hear heart, or any other vital organs. The only wound that was near to fatal was the large gash.

And the cut on her cheek, but the most damage that would cause would have been a scar, and it might have looked rather cute on Hitomi.

If she would let Maki call the hospital.

“We have to do something about your loss of blood though…”

“We’ll deal… with it… later…”

“Yeah, when you have x’s instead of eyes? I don’t think so.”

Taking her attention off of Hitomi, Maki finally got the nerve to rustle through her purse in search of her cellphone.

“Now if you’ll just quit your obscure arguing and let me call th-“

She had not expected Hitomi to have enough strength to stop her, let alone get up and give her what could be construed as a ‘bear hug,’ and she did not expect it to render her speechless either.

“I’ll… be fine…”

Maki was about to protest, when she found a pair of lips colliding with her own.

“I promise, I’ll be… alright, okay?”

There were another few moments where Maki’s lips had a problem helping form words, until she finally said something.

“I… Breakfast… I brought breakfast,” she managed. Hitomi gave her a weak grin.

“I could probably go for some food…”

She seemed to be doing better than five minutes ago, when she was still bleeding on the floor, almost dead. Now, it seemed she was somewhat back to normal, though there was not a lot of control in her motions. Her head lay on Maki’s shoulder now, and she was breathing heavily.

Well, at least she was breathing.

“It’s… a lot of sugar though…”

Protein might have been more helpful. Meat, cheese, something not sugar and fat. Hitomi let out a grumble.

“It’s food… you brought it… I’m gonna eat it…”

Smiling, Maki snickered and gave her friend a hug in a return.

“Alright, but you’re going to let me patch you up first.”

“Would you let me say no to that?”

Maki was silent for a good moment, as she gently shoved Hitomi back onto the floor again.

“It’s either this or the hospital.”

Hitomi grinned.

“Well then, Nurse Goto, heal my wounds, make me feel better.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“I can’t believe I just did that…”

“But you did…”

“Yocchan… you killed her, didn’t you?”

“You say it like you didn’t want to. You wanted the same thing I did…”

“No, no I didn’t! Not like that…”

“Yes, yes you did… or it wouldn’t have happened…”

“That’s… not true!”

There was a silence in return, as if the other was waiting for the first to retract her statement. When the second got no response, she went on.

“Then why didn’t you stop me until I started for her face?”

“I… I don’t know.”

“Exactly.”

“Just… stop hurting people Saki… Yocchan didn’t do anything to you…”

“Kabu-chan took our love from us…”

“…. Your love…”

“No my dear, our love. Now why don’t you call her, and make yourself feel better? I’ve gotta go get some sleep or something anyways…”

“… Okay… just… don’t hurt anyone else…”
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 1 :: Let the Pain Stop)
Post by: rndmnwierd on May 23, 2007, 05:06:55 PM
Woah! What?
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 1 :: Let the Pain Stop)
Post by: MyDearYossi on May 23, 2007, 05:37:41 PM
Whoa! Interesting :o
 
Yossi's alive! Yay!

Yossi and Maki? Good, good. I'm fine with that ;D

And someone has two personalities????? Miki? That was the first thing I thought. Or am I taking this too far xDD
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 1 :: Let the Pain Stop)
Post by: Kreuz_Asakura on May 23, 2007, 06:21:31 PM
 :OMG:

This is getting better and my speculations was just tooo wrong!!!! :lol:

I'll be waiting for the next chapter :hee:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 1 :: Let the Pain Stop)
Post by: whytphyre on May 23, 2007, 09:15:28 PM
If it isn't terribly apparent now *has just added a disclaimer at the top* I like keeping people guessing. I like psyching people out. Just the way I am guys and gals ^^.

Kreuz, I have a feeling your speculation might have actually been right, if we're thinking similarly. You might want to hold onto that thought ^^.

Unless you thought Miki. Miki's not that narcissistic. I like to think of her as 'grumpily misunderstood.'
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 1 :: Let the Pain Stop)
Post by: JFC on May 23, 2007, 10:34:59 PM
Quote
Hitomi’s eyes slowly pried themselves open, and she stared at her friend for a moment, as if she was trying to determine how safe she was. After another moment, Hitomi relaxed, and closed her eyes again.
YOSSI'S ALIVE!!! (http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c340/J-F-C/A_w00t.gif)


Quote
“She… she didn’t hurt you, did she?”
More to the point, looks like she saw and maybe even knows who attacked her?


Quote
“No, who… Yocchan, who did this to you?”

“It… it isn’t important…”
Not important? WTF is up with THAT reaction?  :o  There must be something special/unique about the attacker. Yossi almost sounds like she's trying to protect whoever it is.


Quote
“Well, fine. But I have to call the hospital…”

“NO! I mean… no… no, don’t… it isn’t… it isn’t that bad.”
Okay, the fact that Yossi doesn't want to go to the hospital DEFINITELY raises some questions here.  :dunno:


Quote
she opted for poking a spot near the largest wound, a large gash that started from the top of her right knee down to her ankle. Hitomi yelped in pain, and stared at Maki in pure anger. The younger woman shrugged.

“Just making sure you could feel that.”
Maybe that'll knock some sense into Yossi and she'll let Maki take her to the hospital.


Quote
“Whoever did this wasn’t aiming to kill you,” she finally said. Hitomi gave her a strange look.

“Doesn’t feel that way.”

“That’s because you lost a lot of blood… now if you’d let me call an ambulance…”

“I said no…”

“Didn’t say I was gonna. Not worth fighting with you when your mind’s made up.”
Attacks this brutal, where the victim didn't die are often meant as warnings for something or someone bigger. The fact that the attacker likely COULD have killed Yossi, yet didn't, means the attacker is trying to show the power she has.


Quote
She had not expected Hitomi to have enough strength to stop her, let alone get up and give her what could be construed as a ‘bear hug,’ and she did not expect it to render her speechless either.

“I’ll… be fine…”

Maki was about to protest, when she found a pair of lips colliding with her own.
Well, that was unexpected.  :stunned:


Quote
“Well then, Nurse Goto, heal my wounds, make me feel better.”
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...Maki in a nurse's outfit? Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice. ;D


Quote
“Yocchan… you killed her, didn’t you?”
So the attacker is someone that's close enough to Yossi that she calls her "Yocchan"? The plot gets thicker, it does.


Quote
“You say it like you didn’t want to. You wanted the same thing I did…”

“No, no I didn’t! Not like that…”

“Yes, yes you did… or it wouldn’t have happened…”
So now it looks like we have 2 possible attackers. One who's willing to take things to the limit, and the other who sounds reluctant to do so. (http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c340/J-F-C/hmmm.gif)


Quote
“Just… stop hurting people Saki… Yocchan didn’t do anything to you…”
Saki??? As in Captain or Nakajima-chan??? :o  Is it someone who's currently in or who used to be in H!P??? Someone maybe from behind the scenes? :scared:


Quote
“Kabu-chan took our love from us…”

“…. Your love…”

“No my dear, our love.
Hmmmm...a seeming difference in opinion. Whomever this person Saki is in love with, she apparently thinks the second is also in love with her too, but the second may not be as obsessed about it/her. 
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 1 :: Let the Pain Stop)
Post by: Kreuz_Asakura on May 23, 2007, 11:50:33 PM
If it isn't terribly apparent now *has just added a disclaimer at the top* I like keeping people guessing. I like psyching people out. Just the way I am guys and gals ^^.

Kreuz, I have a feeling your speculation might have actually been right, if we're thinking similarly. You might want to hold onto that thought ^^.

Unless you thought Miki. Miki's not that narcissistic. I like to think of her as 'grumpily misunderstood.'

mmm... :glasses: that word make thing in that person again

Maybe I'll  take you the word and keep holding my speculation  :hehehe:

I wanna read the next chapter!!!!! :pleeease:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 2 :: I Wish)
Post by: whytphyre on May 26, 2007, 05:36:13 AM
Ah, I see someone's super-uber-analyzing the chapters to find out who it is. And I won't tell you who Saki is yet, because that wouldn't be fun.

Though, Hitomi not wanting to go to the hospital... has nothing to do with the attacker ^^

And, record amount of pages in Word :: 11. I actually had to boil over to Chapter 3, so if you're lucky you'll get that one tomorrow. And yay, change of POVs!


Chapter 2 :: I Wish

Thursday mornings were usually beautiful for me, especially when there was a surprise waiting for me at work. There were never surprises, but then again, Hello Project was never dull.

First, however, I had to answer my cellphone, which was buried in the depths of my not so large bag.

Out of all the times that someone could call, it had to be now, didn’t it?

Ah! There it was!

I held up my sleek, black phone, adorned with shiny stickers and all (because when Tsunku said ‘I’m going to give you all new phones,’ and follows it up by giving us all stickers, all us teenage girls can do is make our phones look prettier… though, I think he did it like that on purpose), and read the name on the screen.

Sayumi couldn’t wait till I got up to our meeting place? It was her surprise too.

Sighing, I answered.

“Moshimoshi?”

“Reina? I have a problem…”

She didn’t sound too panicked, for Sayumi anyways, and sometimes Sayumi could have been a total drama queen, especially when her pride was hurt.

I hope it wasn’t that that was keeping me from my surprise. Takahashi probably wouldn’t have liked that. She made a grumpy subleader.

“What’s wrong?”

“Blood… there was blood everywhere…”

Okay, now either Sayumi forgot that it was her time of the month and was flipping out over it, or there was something serious going on.

I dismissed the thought of it actually being serious. It was Sayumi for god’s sake, please.

“Yocchan… is she at work?”

I blinked, and looked around.

“I dunno… I just got in, but I haven’t seen her anywhere…”

There was a silence at the other end.

“Reina… promise me that… if you can’t find her, you call me back? I… I just want to make sure… she’s okay…”

Okay, the thought of it being serious returned.

“Is everything alright Sayumin? Are you okay?”

“I… I’m fine… just make sure Yocchan’s okay…”

“… Sayumin, is something wrong?”

“Yes… sorda… I… I can’t tell you right now… I have to… Reina… I love you, okay?”

That was new. Well, not really. Whenever Sayumin said that, she usually followed it up with an ‘Usachan, peace!’ or a hug, or something quite similar. It was the whole narcissist cute thing coming full swing.

This sounded different though. It sounded sincere.

“Reina? Oh migod, Reina!?”

“I’m here.”

“Oh… oh good, she didn’t get to you yet…”

“Who? What?”

“Don’t worry about it…”

“Hey, Sayu… take the day off, would ya? I’ll cover for you… you sound real stressed.”

Or insane. I hoped it was insane, and that our former leader was hopping around like the big dork that she is, off working hard or kicking a football around.

“O-okay… if anything happens, call me…”

“Don’t worry… and Sayumin…”

“Yeah?”

“I love you too.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

She paced back and forth in front of Miki, her mind spinning. Miki was as relaxed as ever, watching her subleader start having very Gaki-like reactions.

“How could… why could… who would want…. I hate FRIDAY!” Ai finally shouted angrily, stopping and staring at Miki, “They’re so stupid!”

This would have been a very Tsuji-like response to the whole Aibon scandal. Smiling as warmly as she could manage, Miki put a hand on Ai’s shoulder.

“Calm down. Tsunku said they’d sort it out. It’s stupid, okay? We’re just friends…”

That word. Ai hated that word too. Friends. What kind of word was that when it was a girl using it about a boy?

She had been into drama for way too long.

But Miki was right. Calm, before the other 6th Gen girls got upstairs. That was not what she wanted to surprise them with.

Though, they might have already known about the fiasco.

“But… I still hate FRIDAY.”

“That’s how they get their profit Ai.”

Miki was entertained by Ai’s reaction to the whole ordeal, and Ai was very not happy about that.

Then again, she was afraid flipping out at Miki was a bad thing.

“But… you’re living with him?”

“Yep. Separate beds though.”

That sounded like a lie, but Ai had no intentions of pushing her leader off the deep end.

“Alright…”

“Don’t worry ‘bout it. I mean, keep informed, but it’s not something you should be fluttering over. That’s my job, it’s my scandal.”

Nodding, Ai smiled, to show that she was in fact trying to not be worried about it. They were just friends, she reassured herself, friends who lived in the same apartment.

That was all it was.

Nodding again, more to herself, Ai opened her mouth to speak, when she was half tackled down.

“Ai-chan! I HATE FRIDAY!”

Ai gave Risa a strange look. Was this not a recurring moment in the déjà vu that seemed to be Momusu?

“So do I Gaki… could you not yell in my ear next time?”

The girl gave Ai a pout before hugging her again. Letting out a sigh, Ai gave her a pat on the shoulder in comfort.

“I still hate that stupid excuse for a newspaper… thing…”

“Tabloid.”

“No. It can’t be a tabloid. It’s supposed to be bad at its job, and it’s good at being a tabloid.”

Well that made no sense to Ai, who gave Risa a small chuckle.

“Whatever you say… ah, Reina! C’mere!”

Ai detached herself from a still flipping out Risa, and made her way over to meet the Yankee girl, who looked far from being her bubbly, Yankee self today.

“You’re right on time too. Sayu and Eri haven’t come in yet, but when they do…”

“Sayu’s taking the day off. She doesn’t feel well.”

The statement caught Ai off-guard, who tilted her head to one side, still grinning.

“What?”

“She’s… I don’t know exactly what’s wrong, but she’s not feeling well enough to come to work today.”

“But… I need all three of you to be here…”

Reina looked up at Ai, guilty written all over her face, but concern all over her eyes.

“I’m sorry.”

Ai blinked, frowned, but immediately followed it up with another smile, patting Reina on the shoulder.

“Don’t be. We’ll just have to go on without her… you didn’t happen to get word of Eri yet, did you?”

Reina shook her head.

“Alright. Lemmie settle things with Miki, and I’ll talk to you about what’s gonna happen, alright Reina?”

Without getting a response, Ai glanced back over at Miki, who seemed to be on the phone with someone.

“What? What do you mean?... Are you alright?... Who?!... Tomo-kun, talk to me… You’re… you’re bleeding? Who did that to you?”

Coughing, Ai grabbed Risa, who was staring at the scene, and Reina as well, and pulled them away from their leader, who was erupting with anger.

“Who!? No… I haven’t seen her… or… wait… WHAT?!... she did that to you? Why?... no… no I haven’t… Sayumi? What about her? … Fireworks? … God, you’re making no sense… call the hospital… I’ll take care of the other side, alright? I swear…”

Rolling her eyes, Miki gave the girls a glance, before rubbing her temples.

“Tomo-kun, don’t worry about it, I’ll figure it out.”

Without another word, she hung up the phone and glanced over at the girls again.

“Reina, did you say something about Sayumin?”

Peeking her head over Ai’s shoulder, Reina nodded sheepishly, already worried that Miki was going to turn into a volcano of anger and erupt all over her.

“Where is she now?” the leader demanded.

“… Home. I told her to stay home, she wasn’t feeling well.”

“Well… call her back. Tell her to come here… I wanna talk to her.”

After a moment, Reina shook her head.

“I… I don’t think that’s a good idea…”

“What, she fluttery after seeing someone almost die?”

There was a long silence as Miki, rather frankly, put the cards down on the table. Reina, who was formulating the excuse to whatever response Miki had come up with, simply did not have anything to respond to, so just stood there, staring. Ai was doing the same, with wider eyes and a large gape.

Risa let out a squeak and hugged Ai, like this was all some sort of scary story.

“Didn’t know, didja?” Miki ventured again, “Well now I wanna know what the hell’s going on. I’m not gonna give FRIDAY something else to write about, so long as I lead this group.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“Hitoribocchi de sukoshi, taikutsu na yoru”

Maki brushed a small lock of hair out of Hitomi’s face, as she watched the older woman’s sleeping form. The last few hours had been loud, and tiresome to the both of them.

”Ow! Can’t you just let them heal or something!?”

“No… Yocchan, you’re bleeding all over the place! I need to patch some of these up!”

Hitomi snorted, and batted away Maki’s hand, which had a pink shaded cotton ball in it.

“Not if it means this ‘cleaning’ thing. They’re just fine dirty!”

“They’ll get infected if you don’t let me do anything about them!”

“Well then they get infected.”

Maki gave her a pout.

“You could die from that!”

Hitomi thought about it a moment, and shrugged.

“You make it sound like it’s a bad thing.”

She said it with a grin on her face.

“I think devil horns and a sexy black dress will make me look sexier.”

Maki tried a smile, finding the comment rather amusing, and she had to agree. Devil Hitomi looked amazingly hot in her brain.

“Not with all these gashes you won’t. Now c’mon, lemmie do something about this.”

Maki tried again, and instead of meeting with another angered hand, she found that Hitomi consented, though not quietly.

“Ow!”

“Oh come offa it. It’s not like I’m killing you with it.”

“You might as well be!”

“You know, half an hour ago, you weren’t complaining…”

“That would be because I was thinking about you in a nurse’s outfit… not thinking about how much this hur-OW! Alright, enough!”

And before Maki could say ‘No, not enough,’ the cotton ball flew out of her hand, and onto the floor a few feet away. Hitomi snorted.

“I’ll be fine. Trust me on this one,” the older woman said, “If it’ll make you feel better, just put some of that strange gauze stuff on my wounds until they heal up…”

Maki didn’t say anything for a moment, staring at the cotton ball, then down at her hand, and back at the ball again. Letting out a sigh, Hitomi mumbled something.

“Telekinesis.”

Like that was supposed to explain everything. Opening her mouth, Maki stared over at Hitomi.

“Teleki-wha?”

“Telekinesis. I can move things with my mind… it was something Tsunku blabbered on about when I joined Momusu. Rika got one too. A blabber I mean. Didn’t he give you one?”

“No.”

“He didn’t? Huh… I coulda sworn you had something in there…”


Two hours, three spools of gauze, and an angered argument about how large, infected wounds make someone die, and Hitomi finally calmed down enough to realize that there was something wrong.

”… I can’t move my leg…”

She was far from immobile, that was for sure, but the statement was said in such a manner that had Maki worried. And Hitomi persisted on that she still had no need for a hospital, or a doctor. It was like being there with her was better than anything a hospital could come up with.

If there were still leg problems after this though, the results could have been devastating. Hitomi needed her legs to do her job, to do what she loved.

“watashi dake ga samishii no?”

Maki smiled at the woman sleeping in her lap as she sang to her. She seemed so peaceful, like a child dreaming peaceful, innocent things in bed late at night. It had taken a long enough time to get her to rest, and now that she was, Maki had enough time to give her a subtle examination.

She was sure those wounds were much worse earlier, when they were arguing about it.

“… Maki…”

The sound of Hitomi’s voice knocked Maki out of her thoughts, as she smiled warmly at the woman, who had her hands folded behind her head, with her eyes staring right back.

“Yeah?”

“You make a good nurse…”

“… What do you mean? We argued half the time.”

“I wasn’t talking about that stupid disinfecting stuff. I was talking about you. You have a healing touch.”

Taking it out of the ample naughty thoughts that Maki could have responded with, she raised her brow at Hitomi.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What do you think it means stupid?”

Oh, so she wanted naughty thoughts to be more than thoughts. Well, Maki could do that, but after Hitomi felt better.

“You can heal people.”
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 2 :: I Wish)
Post by: Kreuz_Asakura on May 26, 2007, 08:06:54 AM
POWERS???! :shock:

Wow this chapter is really great!!!!

So you want make me think Sayumin is that crazy girl?!  :glasses:   Well, I don't believe you!!!  I know there's something else going on here and the call of Sayumin is just a distraction  :wahaha:

But maybe I could be wrong too  :stoned:

So Friday is here too  :badluck:  I'm agree with Ai-chan y Gaki  I HATE FRIDAY!!!! :scolding: :angry1:

You really make me happy with this interaction between Yossie and Maki  :wriggly:
 I just love them together!!! :luvluv1:

Anyway, I'll be waiting for the next chapter
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 2 :: I Wish)
Post by: rndmnwierd on May 26, 2007, 10:25:02 AM
Rika's got powers? And you mentioned W in some way, shape, or form! Awesomeness.
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 2 :: I Wish)
Post by: JFC on May 26, 2007, 11:35:35 PM
Quote
Though, Hitomi not wanting to go to the hospital... has nothing to do with the attacker ^^
Really? (http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c340/J-F-C/hmmm.gif)


Quote
I held up my sleek, black phone, adorned with shiny stickers and all (because when Tsunku said ‘I’m going to give you all new phones,’ and follows it up by giving us all stickers, all us teenage girls can do is make our phones look prettier… though, I think he did it like that on purpose)
Aw that was nice of da Soonk.


Quote
“Blood… there was blood everywhere…”

...

I dismissed the thought of it actually being serious. It was Sayumi for god’s sake, please.

“Yocchan… is she at work?”
Did Sayu see the scene where Maki found Yossi all beaten up? If so, it sounds like it was after they had left.


Quote
“Reina… promise me that… if you can’t find her, you call me back? I… I just want to make sure… she’s okay…”

...

“… Sayumin, is something wrong?”

“Yes… sorda… I… I can’t tell you right now…
Okay...either Sayu has some uncanny intuition, or she's somehow involved (probably reluctantly) in this whole mess and she's genuinely worried about how/where Yossi is.


Quote
She paced back and forth in front of Miki, her mind spinning. Miki was as relaxed as ever, watching her subleader start having very Gaki-like reactions.

“How could… why could… who would want…. I hate FRIDAY!” Ai finally shouted angrily, stopping and staring at Miki, “They’re so stupid!”
Aichan reacting like many a wota (and foreign H!P fan) have been over the past couple of days.


Quote
“But… you’re living with him?”

“Yep. Separate beds though.”
It's certainly plausible, though somewhat moot as the actual article never actually mentions anything about anyone moving in together (that was just someone's "predictions"/speculation about what the article would say.


Quote
Nodding again, more to herself, Ai opened her mouth to speak, when she was half tackled down.

“Ai-chan! I HATE FRIDAY!”

...

“So do I Gaki… could you not yell in my ear next time?”

The girl gave Ai a pout before hugging her again. Letting out a sigh, Ai gave her a pat on the shoulder in comfort.
All the while, Miki's watching this and having a right good chuckle. ;D


Quote
“Who!? No… I haven’t seen her… or… wait… WHAT?!... she did that to you? Why?... no… no I haven’t… Sayumi? What about her? … Fireworks? … God, you’re making no sense… call the hospital… I’ll take care of the other side, alright? I swear…”
Oh don't tell me Sayu flipped out and beat up Shouji? :lol:


Quote
“I think devil horns and a sexy black dress will make me look sexier.”
While that IS true, for pete's sake Yossi let Maki take care of you!  :(


Quote
“You know, half an hour ago, you weren’t complaining…”

“That would be because I was thinking about you in a nurse’s outfit… not thinking about how much this hur-OW! Alright, enough!”
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...Nurse Maki.  :jerk:


Quote
“Telekinesis. I can move things with my mind… it was something Tsunku blabbered on about when I joined Momusu. Rika got one too. A blabber I mean. Didn’t he give you one?”
WTF they got powers??? :o


Quote
Maki smiled at the woman sleeping in her lap as she sang to her.

...

She was sure those wounds were much worse earlier, when they were arguing about it.
Maybe Yossi's just a fast healer? Or maybe the wounds just looked worse when they were all bloody?


Quote
“You make a good nurse…”

“… What do you mean? We argued half the time.”

“I wasn’t talking about that stupid disinfecting stuff. I was talking about you. You have a healing touch.”
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh so maybe THAT is Maki's power.  But if that's the case...is that why Yossi didn't want to go to the hospital? Maybe she could unconsciously sense that she'd be alright with Maki.
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 3 :: Turtle, Turtle!)
Post by: whytphyre on May 29, 2007, 01:22:22 AM
I see someone isn't falling for my tricks this time.

Or are you!?

*cackles*

Anyways, this is another pretty long one. I had a small continuity problem with the last part, which was why it took so long to get out, but I fixed it. I'm gonna switch gears to Victory, get out my humor, then come back and make the next chapter real gruesome.

Or at least morbid. These chapters are dying down on creepiness.


Chapter 3 :: Turtle, Turtle!

“Did you call her yet?”

“It… it isn’t any of your business…”

“Sweetheart… anything that’s your business is my business… you know better than that. So, did you call her or not?”

“… I… I couldn’t… I… blanked out…”

“Oh… hmmm…”

“You… you didn’t kill someone while I was … out, did you?”

“No… I only slightly mauled him…”

“What!?”

“Oh please… you know better than that… Of course I’m going to hurt someone.”

“But…”

“No, he’s still alive, keep your damn panties on.”

“O-okay…”

“We’re gonna hafta do something about the snooper though… she’ll get in the way of our goal.”

“It’s your goal… and don’t hurt her… she was just…”

“In the wrong place at the wrong time. And now she’s going to have the wrong luck.”

“Don’t…”

“Don’t worry… either I’ll scare her… or I’ll make her death quick and painless…”

“You wouldn’t…”

“Please, she’s not worth my mercy…”

“If you want to be merciful, just leave her alone!”

“But… where’s the fun in that?”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Okay, so something was up.

I wasn’t entirely sure what was going on, why Hitomi was all ‘I’m just about ready to go play some futsal, lesgo, you’re coming with me,’ or why instead of dying, she was only merely limping ever so slightly around on her left leg.

“C’mon, let’s go!”

But she was, and it bothered me.

She stood there, in jogging gear, at her door, like a little puppy wanting to go outside. It was adorable, granted, but seeing as about two hours ago she was whining at me to stop cleaning her mortal wounds, I had all right to stare at her, rather stupidly at that, in a silent demand at what was going on.

“Oh, don’t give me that Maki! You still like futsal, I know you do! C’mooooooon!”

Now she was whining at me. She never whined, she was Yoshizawa Hitomi, strong leader type. If she wanted something to get done, she would pick you up and drag you around herself.

I would know. We used to play that game, just before I graduated. Back when we got used to each other.

Though, back then, she would never have kissed me to get me to stop talking. I had no idea what kind of sign of affection that was supposed to be out of her, but she never used to do it, so I was thrown off.

Like I am now.

“Maki… Lesgo! Futsal! The indoor arena’s open now, and we have the day off! COME ON!”

While I was doing my various impressions of a rock, she had made her way over and had started to pull on my arm, like a little child.

She was adorable sometimes, but damn that pulling hurt.

“Now hold ON!” I said, pulling my arm out of her grasp, “You’re can’t possibly expect me to go play anything with you until you do two things.”

Blinking, rather cluelessly at that, Hitomi thought a moment, before nodding.

“Alright, what?”

“One, you prove to me that you aren’t going to die if you do anything beyond walking around your apartment. And two, EXPLAIN what the hell’s going on!”

I’m sure my anger was justified. I had seen her play the ‘telekinesis’ game awhile ago, and now she was telling me I had a healing touch. What the hell was that supposed to mean? Did she want to play around in bed, and then suddenly change her mind when my reaction wasn’t up to par?

This day was just getting weird. I should have stayed in bed.

Letting out a sigh, she slumped down next to me again.

“Alright. Fine. We’ll do the second one first, because then I can prove I’m all better.”

“Mostly.”

She was still limping around.

“Whatever. You remember when you auditioned, right?”

Yeah, of course I did. Who was stupid enough to forget that?

“Well… did you ever notice him squinting at you, writing a few things down, and then telling you, like halfway through a song, ‘alright I’ve seen enough,’ like there it was, that was the end of you?”

I blinked. No, I don’t think he did that.

“Uhm... no, not really…”

“Huh… that’s strange… well… he doesn’t exactly base his decisions on singing and dancing talent, if you haven’t noticed.”

Shall we start with a list of people who didn’t make it up to par in the idol world when they first came in? Let’s start from the top:

I wasn’t entirely sure about the girls before me, but I knew I sure as hell didn’t. Neither did Charmy, Yocchan, Nono, Aibon, Mako, Konkon, Gaki, Ai-chan, Sayumin, Reina, Eri…

Wait.

“That was… like…”

“A good all of us. Yeah. He chose us… yeah, based on what he thought we could become, but he also chose us based on our special abilities.”

“Like, breaking hula hoop records?”

“Like telekinesis and healing.”

Hey, when did I enter the Twilight Zone? Seriously, sometimes Yocchan was just too much.

A grin started to form on my lips, as Yocchan stared, rather seriously, and continued on.

“Tsunku says it has to do with the ‘mira’ content in our body. He hasn’t exactly explained it fully, but I don’t think he really understands it all that well either… Gocchin, I’m being serious here.”

By the time Hitomi had finished and was scolding me, I had started bursting into a fit of giggles.

This whole thing was rather hard to believe after all. I wiped a tear from my eye before grinning at Yocchan.

“I’m sorry… really, I’m listening, go on.”

She kept the serious look on her face, and pulled up her right pant leg.

“There was a wound there, right?”

I examined it, not very closely, Yocchan hated it when people stared too long at her calves. However, I did realize that there was no gaping flesh wound, or anything for that matter, anywhere.

“… What’s… that gotta do with me?” I asked carefully, “I mean… why isn’t it you that has the fancy healing powers?”

Clearly Hitomi and I weren’t thinking on the same level. She snorted, pushing her pant leg down again, and giving me a glare.

“Think straight. If I was the healer, don’t you think I wouldn’t have a problem healing? I sure as hell wouldn’t have let you see me like that… Your heart flutters funny…”

Beh!?

“Wha?”

“Huh? Oh! Empathy.”

Again with the one word explanations. She was getting a bit irritating, but I’m sure there was a reason behind it.

“Uhm…”

“Gah, crack open a manga sometime… I read emotions too.”

Oh, so now she reads emotions. Great.

“So… How… did you know… that I can heal people?” I asked, humoring her thoughts. It was easier to understand her that way.

“Each time leaders and subleaders are changed, Tsunku goes over a list of all the Morning Musume members that the they’ve worked with… and points out which powers they have.”

See, it’s easier when you humor her. She’s not so damn confusing.

“Oh.”

“You still don’t believe me.”

Of course I didn’t.

“Of course I do.”

“Liar.”

Yes.

“No.”

Hitomi gave me a stern look. She knew I was lying, she didn’t need telepamenthary to do that.

So, it was inevitable that my ticklish tummy was going to fall victim to her ‘listen to me damnit’-ness.

Otherwise known as her hands.

“Hey! Stop! You know I’m ticklish there!” I shouted through laughter, trying to pry myself away from her.

“Not until you take me seriously!” she returned, not letting up.

“Fine! I’ll… I’ll take you seriously, just stop!”

She settled for lying on top of me, fingers slowly walking across my stomach, just enough to get me to pay attention to her, and an elbow resting against the sofa we were lying on.

“You have healing powers. I’ve got brain powers…”

“That’s a first…”

I couldn’t help it. Hitomi was never known for being the smartest apple in the tree. She couldn’t tell Russia from Rhode Island (not that I could either… hell, I didn’t even know what Rhode Island was), but it seemed to hit a small mark.

“You aren’t taking me seriously…”

“I’m sorry! I’ll stop…”

And I meant it too.

“Fine. We have powers… and Tsunku hasn’t told you about it… so you’ve probably gotten zero training on them…”

We were supposed to get training?

“We’re supposed to have training?”

“… Right then… you’ll just have to practice…”

“On what?”

She better not say what I think she was about to say. Instead of saying something right out, she gave me a small kiss on the cheek, then answered.

In the answer I didn’t want her to use.

“Me.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Letting out a sigh, Eri gazed over at her tall, Chinese companion, who was staring quite readily at the turtles in front of them.

“Ka-waaaii!” the 19-year-old said. It was a word she had learned before, but still had a teeny bit of trouble pronouncing. The girl was a cute sight, as she pushed her nose against the glass, muttering Japanese to herself.

“Kamei-san…”

Junjun might have had a hard time formulating words, but she had no trouble at all speaking her fellow Musume’s names at this point. That was the only reason the younger senpai’s attention was caught.

“Hai?”

Turning towards the smaller girl, Junjun gave her a weak smile, and held up the digital camera she had brought with her.

“Can I … take a picture?” she asked cautiously. Smiling, Eri nodded.

“Sure.”

Junjun’s smile became more confident, and she started pressing buttons, readying for a picture. Eri looked out towards the entrance, where a camera crew was supposed to meet them. Why did Ai tell them to go to the park without the crew? What was that supposed to achieve? Amazingly enough, the crew was late, and Eri had no idea who to call to find out why.

At least Reina got to go somewhere else with someone who spoke Japanese. Though, neither of them were very specific as to where.

“Kamei-san…”

Junjun’s soft voice brought Eri back to reality. She smiled at the girl, who was holding her camera up with one hand and holding out her other in a sort of ‘I want to give you a hug’ gesture.

Eri quirked her brow. Oh, that kind of picture.

Smiling, Eri settled next to Junjun, who quickly took the picture and examined it through the screen, giving Eri a moment to try to find the camera crew that was supposed to  be with them.

“Kamei-san.”

Glancing at Junjun again, Eri was almost not prepared for the hug she was given, almost as if the girl wanted to cheer her senpai up.

Which was technically what the problem was, Eri looked like she was about to turn into Mini Miki or something. Stupid camera crews.

“Junjun, I’m okay…” she reassured. Junjun released her senpai, but held her at an arm’s length for a moment, examining her, then deciding she was in fact alright.

Then she went back to the simple joys of turtles.

Grinning, Eri snickered, before glancing over at the turtles. They looked rather adorable, for reptiles that walked around and ate lettuce all day. Sometimes she wished she were like that, just munching on lettuce all day. It would suit her name.

“KAMEI-SAN!”

Before Eri could reply to the panic in Junjun’s voice, a blunt object struck her in the head.

And the rest was black.
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 3 :: Turtle, Turtle!)
Post by: Kreuz_Asakura on May 29, 2007, 03:26:25 AM
Yossie and Maki are just a case!!!!! :wahaha:  I really love them

And about the first part  :glasses:  mmm....I'm getting confuse again  :on lol:

KAMEI!!! Don't tell she's going to die? :scared:

Maybe she show us her powers in the next chapter!!
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 3 :: Turtle, Turtle!)
Post by: JFC on May 29, 2007, 03:29:57 AM
Quote
I see someone isn't falling for my tricks this time.

Or are you!?

*cackles*
(http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c340/J-F-C/doh.gif)


Quote
So, did you call her or not?”

“… I… I couldn’t… I… blanked out…”
Considering the whole revelation of the whole superpowers thing, that last bit could take on several different meanings.


Quote
“You… you didn’t kill someone while I was … out, did you?”

“No… I only slightly mauled him…”

“What!?”

“Oh please… you know better than that… Of course I’m going to hurt someone.”
Okay, that's disconcerting. If this person has some sort of power, but is unable to control it, it can potentially be a big problem.


Quote
“We’re gonna hafta do something about the snooper though… she’ll get in the way of our goal.”

“It’s your goal…
Goal? Snooper? This is getting more and more complicated.


Quote
“Don’t worry… either I’ll scare her… or I’ll make her death quick and painless…”

“You wouldn’t…”

“Please, she’s not worth my mercy…”

“If you want to be merciful, just leave her alone!”

“But… where’s the fun in that?”
That sounds like Miki.  :grin:  If that's the case, then the other person in the convo should be Aya.   :D


Quote
“Oh, don’t give me that Maki! You still like futsal, I know you do! C’mooooooon!”

Now she was whining at me. She never whined, she was Yoshizawa Hitomi, strong leader type.
Either she's dealing with her recent attack in a really weird manner, or she's just acting like a kid for some reason.


Quote
he doesn’t exactly base his decisions on singing and dancing talent, if you haven’t noticed.”

...

I wasn’t entirely sure about the girls before me, but I knew I sure as hell didn’t. Neither did Charmy, Yocchan, Nono, Aibon, Mako, Konkon, Gaki, Ai-chan, Sayumin, Reina, Eri…

Wait.

“That was… like…”

“A good all of us. Yeah. He chose us… yeah, based on what he thought we could become, but he also chose us based on our special abilities.”

“Like, breaking hula hoop records?”

“Like telekinesis and healing.”

Hey, when did I enter the Twilight Zone? Seriously, sometimes Yocchan was just too much.
Wait, so Tsunku knew or could somehow tell that the girls all had some powers? How the fuck did he know that??? :o


Quote
Tsunku says it has to do with the ‘mira’ content in our body. He hasn’t exactly explained it fully
First it's the Twilight Zone, and now Star Wars?


Quote
“Each time leaders and subleaders are changed, Tsunku goes over a list of all the Morning Musume members that the they’ve worked with… and points out which powers they have.”

See, it’s easier when you humor her. She’s not so damn confusing.
Strangely enough, that does seem to ring true right now. (http://i30.photobucket.com/albums/c340/J-F-C/blink.gif)


Quote
“Fine. We have powers… and Tsunku hasn’t told you about it… so you’ve probably gotten zero training on them…”

We were supposed to get training?

“We’re supposed to have training?”
They were supposed to get training? :dunno:


Quote
“… Right then… you’ll just have to practice…”

“On what?”

She better not say what I think she was about to say. Instead of saying something right out, she gave me a small kiss on the cheek, then answered.

In the answer I didn’t want her to use.

“Me.”
But if Maki's power is healing, to practice them she'll have to....oh no.  :cry:


Quote
“KAMEI-SAN!”

Before Eri could reply to the panic in Junjun’s voice, a blunt object struck her in the head.

And the rest was black.
Eri got beaned in the head by one of the turtles?  :P
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 3 :: Turtle, Turtle!)
Post by: rndmnwierd on May 29, 2007, 05:16:30 AM
Wow, Jun Jun was in this chapter.
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 4 :: Ouch. Just Ouch)
Post by: whytphyre on June 02, 2007, 01:30:44 AM
Wheee! I take references from anything that works. You'll see more than Star Wars there ^^. And thanks for still reading.

Chapter 4's gonna be rather long. I'll do it in parts.


Chapter 4 Part 1 :: Ouch. Just Ouch

“Kamei-san… Kamei-san…”

The whispering in her ear jolted her from her slumber, and their foreheads smacked together.

“Aiiiii…”

“Ow….”

Rubbing her head, Kamei let out a mumble and stared at Junjun, who smiled politely right back, as if she was oblivious as to what was going on.

Kamei knew that was far from the case.

“Junjun… what’s going on?” she asked. The girl smiled for a moment, before looking over her shoulder, at the door that stared right back.

“There were… men… bad… to… house… took,” she finally said after a moment, “They think… my Japanese… bad is.”

Well, the more practice she got, the better off she was, right?

Kamei signed, sitting up and rubbing her temples, while Junjun took a moment to rub her own head of the pain moments before.

Sayumi was always the more optimistic one.

“Kamei-san… they wanted… to…”

She paused a moment, trying to find the words to what she wanted to say.

“… Money… trade… for us!”

Kamei stared for a good moment.

“Oh. Joy.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

There I was, sitting in front of Gocchin… well, Gocchin was sitting, I was standing on the table in front of her, about ready to jump around and actually, purposefully cause injury to myself.

And that look on her face was nothing short of troublesome to me. I wanted to hug her and tell her it was my own sick joke, but it wasn’t.

If Tsunku hadn’t told her anything about her healing powers, then she needed to learn about them!

Sadly, futsal would have to wait, but she owed me big time.

And if it didn’t come in the form of futsal, I knew exactly how to get my payment.

God, I have such a one track mind sometimes.

“Don’t jump off of that!” Gocchin squealed, in a rather panicked manner. I stared at her cluelessly for a moment.

“And here I was thinking if I jumped high enough, I could hit my head hard enough and you’d have to heal a concussion…”

Because I knew she could. She had done it once before, whether she knew it or not. I didn’t know it then either. There were so many people flocking at that point I didn’t even realize there was a concussion to be had.

What with the swirlies dancing around my eyes and all. At least, they were there until Gocchin came around, and made me feel all better. That was why I hated those stupid boots they made me put on for Mr. Moonlight. Make me look taller sure, up until I fell off the damn stage.

Whoever put that ledge there was just stupid.

“No. Just… get down from the table and sit down. Talk to me about it… can’t we start with like a paper cut or something?”

No. That would have been easy.

Sighing, I pouted at her and jumped down from the table, making her squeal again.

“YOCCHAN!”

“What? I’m fine, aren’t I?”

I put my hands on my hips and gave her a grin. She was never really flighty like this unless she thought something real bad was going to happen.

And unless a ninja came in here and lobbed both of our heads off, I was here to tell her otherwise. She’d just have to accept that.

“… Just stop doing things like… Yocchan, where are you going?”

“I’m gonna make you panic so much that you have to come down and heal me.”

“Come dow- Yocchan?”

I opened the door leading to the balcony… which I didn’t really know I had, but it was convenient for the moment. Leaning my back on the rail, I grinned at Gocchin, who stared right back at me.

“What are you doing?”

“You really need to get out more, don’t you?”

Slipping my butt up onto the rail, I sat there a moment, before deciding that the way I was going about it would not cause enough injury to my person.

So, I stood up on the rail, and stared at her again.

Panic set in. For her, not me.

“OH MIGOD, YOCCHAN GET DOWN FROM THERE!”

Giving her a ‘Yeah right’ look, I turned around so that I was facing the grou-oh, hey, there was more than four floors below me. That was high up. Was that a bird making a nest on that tree down there? What was that guy doing? Was that his dog?

Wow, I’m nosy.

“YOCCHAN!”

I let out a small laugh, glancing back at her.

“Gocchin, you might want to start down the stairs now…”

We stared at each other for a long moment, and it looked like she started getting angry.

If you could call that cute little, half sleepy, pretending-to-be-Miki-but-I-look-closer-to-Koharu look ‘getting angry.’ I only smiled back.

“Gocchin, I trust you to take care of me if I do something stu-“

At about that moment, my wonderful balancing act had taken a turn for the worse, and I fell backwards, hitting the wall behind me.

I could have sworn I heard Gocchin let out a scream, but everything went so blurry and fuzzy for the next few seconds, all I remember was hearing her yell at me at how stupid I was and how I shouldn’t have been out if I wasn’t feeling well (‘cause everyone knows she already thought I was insane.)

After a few more moments, I gained semi-perfect vision back, and I smiled weakly at her from where I was lying on the balcony floor. Her cheeks were flushed red and she decided to perfect the Miki glare at that point.

Didn’t she know? I was immune to the Miki glare.

“See? I’m fine,” I finally said, sitting upright, “No sprains, bruises, cuts, bleeding gashes, or anything. It was a silly concussion at worst…”

She kept glaring.

“You. Are. Going. To. The. Hospital. NOW!”

That, the Miki glare, and the fact that she had started dragging me back into my apartment had me at a sort of loss for words, if you could call it that.

More of, I was angry at her and I didn’t want to make the situation worse.

That stupid place with the stupid white walls. I wasn’t going back there. Doctors were stupid.

Then again, so were stupid drivers who couldn’t see where they were stinkin’ going.

“GET OFF!”

I stood up, and glared at her angrily. This was getting nowhere fast.

“I’m not going to that stupid godforsaken place! Not now, not EVER AGAIN. Now, would you for three damned seconds LISTEN to what I have to say to you?”

I couldn’t tell if she was still angry or if I had scared the anger away so much it went to hide behind that cute pouty face. The one where she looked in the middle of a thought. God, did she have to be adorable?

After a moment of silence, she sighed, showing me that she was in fact still more Miki-angry than anything, and rubbed her temples.

“Fine. But if you die… then it’s not my fault.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

As she entered the elevator, she furiously started pressing buttons again, not caring if anyone else really heard. Her hair was a mess, there were circles under her eyes, and she was wearing clothes that were far from matching, unless it was ‘yellow goes with blah ick purple green’ day.

But it wasn’t.

So it was only natural that everyone stared at Sayumi when she walked into the building. No greetings, no confetti, no ‘I’m ready to work today world!’ None of that.

Just anxiety and frustration.

“Reina, pick up your phone…” she muttered, before snorting and stuffing her phone into her bag, “FINE! Die for all I care!”

“Who are you talking to?”
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 4, Part 1 :: Ouch. Just Ouch)
Post by: Kreuz_Asakura on June 02, 2007, 04:38:27 AM
WOW!!!!!!!!!!

I want more!!! :wriggly:  :wriggly: :wriggly: :wriggly:

An angry Yossie!!! :shock: Why she hate so much the hospital?? :dunno:

And Sayu....mmm...what about her? She's acting very weird  :glasses:

This fic is the only reason for which I visit this section almost every hour hoping find a new chapter!!!!

Your really awesome whytphyre  :farofflook: I love your work and the fact you have Yomaki interaction!!!
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 4, Part 1 :: Ouch. Just Ouch)
Post by: whytphyre on June 02, 2007, 05:09:11 AM
Awww, I have a sta-fan! Fan! Yeah, I'll call you a fan!

I meant a fan, I swear.

Anyways.

The only thing I'll let up on this time is Yossi's hospital hatred. It's how I perceive her attitude towards hospitals since her brother's death. I tried to make it obvious, sorry it didn't seem that way ^^;;

And thank you so much! I love egoboosts[/b] the comments!
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 4, Part 1 :: Ouch. Just Ouch)
Post by: rndmnwierd on June 02, 2007, 04:27:55 PM
Lol at Yossui and Sayumi! Man that's awesome.
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 4, Part 1 :: Ouch. Just Ouch)
Post by: Kreuz_Asakura on June 02, 2007, 05:46:36 PM
Awww, I have a sta-fan! Fan! Yeah, I'll call you a fan!

I meant a fan, I swear.

:imdead:
 :shock: You wanted call me a sta..  I even can't say it   :cool2:  :cool2:

Anyway, I like more the word Fan  :wahaha:


The only thing I'll let up on this time is Yossi's hospital hatred. It's how I perceive her attitude towards hospitals since her brother's death. I tried to make it obvious, sorry it didn't seem that way ^^;;

And thank you so much! I love egoboosts[/b] the comments!

So...that's the reason ...  :glasses: , Ok, now I get it!!!   :bingo:

Well, I'll be waiting for the next part   :stuffed:

I'll try don't visit the site every hour  :on lol:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 4, Part 1 :: Ouch. Just Ouch)
Post by: YoukaiChica on June 02, 2007, 06:41:28 PM
Yay for Yomaki luvin! I was going to skip over this fioc, no offense, but then I started to read it and I just had to keep going. Its fantastic. I love how nothing at the moment makes sense but you can kind of make connections. But I have a feeling you're just playing with us.... And like Kreuz_Asakura  said, I keep checking for an update. Don't keep us waiting!!
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 4, Part 1 :: Ouch. Just Ouch)
Post by: JFC on June 02, 2007, 07:03:31 PM
Quote
“Kamei-san… Kamei-san…”

The whispering in her ear jolted her from her slumber, and their foreheads smacked together.

“Aiiiii…”

“Ow….”
Kawaii!  :love:



Quote
“Junjun… what’s going on?” she asked. The girl smiled for a moment, before looking over her shoulder, at the door that stared right back.

“There were… men… bad… to… house… took,” she finally said after a moment, “They think… my Japanese… bad is.”

...

“Kamei-san… they wanted… to…”

She paused a moment, trying to find the words to what she wanted to say.

“… Money… trade… for us!”
So they're looking for a ransom, eh? Kind of relieved, to be honest. It couldn't have been much much worse.  :mon scare:

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Quote
Sadly, futsal would have to wait, but she owed me big time.

And if it didn’t come in the form of futsal, I knew exactly how to get my payment.
Kinky.  :twisted:


Quote
“… Just stop doing things like… Yocchan, where are you going?”

“I’m gonna make you panic so much that you have to come down and heal me.”

“Come dow- Yocchan?”
Nothing like a little "field training". You'd be surprised at the skills you actually have until you actually have to use them.


Quote
What was that guy doing? Was that his dog?
Ew.  :mon huh:


Quote
After a moment of silence, she sighed, showing me that she was in fact still more Miki-angry than anything, and rubbed her temples.

“Fine. But if you die… then it’s not my fault.”
That sounds sensible.   :D

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Quote
As she entered the elevator, she furiously started pressing buttons again, not caring if anyone else really heard. Her hair was a mess, there were circles under her eyes, and she was wearing clothes that were far from matching, unless it was ‘yellow goes with blah ick purple green’ day.

But it wasn’t.

So it was only natural that everyone stared at Sayumi when she walked into the building. No greetings, no confetti, no ‘I’m ready to work today world!’ None of that.

Just anxiety and frustration.

“Reina, pick up your phone…” she muttered, before snorting and stuffing her phone into her bag, “FINE! Die for all I care!”
What happened to Sayu? :dunno:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 4, Part 2 :: Without Grace)
Post by: whytphyre on June 04, 2007, 05:11:49 PM
Thanks for all your comments, and I'm glad I dragged in another reader too! It'll get confusing, as it usually does, but then it'll make sense the father ya go. ^^

Sorry for the short wait. Part 3's getting planned in my head right now as we speak, so it'll be out within a day or so ^^ Enjoy Part 2!


Chapter 4, Part 2 :: Without Grace

Knock, knock, knock.

Pausing a moment, Reina let out a sigh, before trying again.

“… Didn’t you say Sayumi stayed home?” Miki asked angrily, glaring at the girl. Letting out a meep, Reina nodded. Why did she have to get dragged with Miki? Why did Miki volunteer to go find Sayumi and not like Ai, or Risa? She kept contemplating this for a few moments, until she felt a hand on her bottom.

“MIKITTY!” she shouted, jumping a few inches into the air and landing beside her friend, her own hands on her bottom. Miki stared at her dopily.

“What?”

Reina glared.

“What do you mean WHAT!? Make it sound like you didn’t know you just touched my butt!”

“… Ya know Reina, sometimes I think it’s you who needs the vacation and not Sayumi…”

Without another word, she pushed Reina out of the way of the door and knocked, hard.

The door swung right open.

“… For the record Mikitty, I weakened the door for you…”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The voice startled Sayumi, and she smacked herself against the elevator wall.

“Miyabi!” she said, registering exactly who the girl was.

“Sorry… couldn’t help it, the whole… yelling thing and all. So who’s dying?”

Sayumi thought a moment.

“Yocchan.”

“Wait… Yoshizawa-senpai’s dying? Is that who you were yelling at?”

“No. I was yelling at Reina.”

“What does that have to do with Yoshizawa-senpai?”

“It.. it doesn’t…”

Miyabi gave Sayumi a strange look.

“So, you were yelling at Reina-san… and you want Yoshizawa-senpai to die.”

The sentence made no sense in either girl’s head, but Sayumi nodded anyways, as they stepped out of the elevator and onto the third floor.

“… Sayumi-san, is something wrong?”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“You’re gonna tell ‘im we’re gonna rape and kill you if they don’t give us money.”

Junjun and Eri were both tied up, back to back, in chairs, each of them staring down a guy. Eri was giving one her impression of Miki’s glare, which failed miserably on the man.

“Go to hell,” she said angrily. The guy glared back, and if Kamei needed to go pee, she would have right there and then.

“Sweetie, here’s the thing. You’re the one tied up. I’m the one giving the orders, quiche?”

Quiche!? Wasn’t that a French delicacy or something?

“… Someone’s hungry!” Junjun called out, eyeing the man Eri was trying to hide from. The man snorted.

“Your Chinese friend is stupid.”

“HEY!”

Junjun glared, now at the man in front of her, the one who she had been making faces at.

“You’re stupid!.... Stupidhead!”

Her Japanese was still lacking, but Eri couldn’t help but giggle. She was like a five year old who really didn’t know what was going on.

“What’d you call me, brat?”

“…. Eri-san… what is a brat?”

Eri looked over her shoulder at Junjun.

“Think… Sayumin… but… more selfish…”

Junjun blinked.

“Ah. Brat! Like in… America?”

“Hai.”

“Ah…. I AM NOT!”

The man glared, and gave the taller girl a smack.

“Shut up!”

This did in fact shut them both up, though Junjun was on the verge of tears. He started calling her names and now he smacked her? That wasn’t fair, she wanted to smack him too!

Eri felt like doing more than smacking to both of these men, if she could.

“We’ll just have to do it ourselves,” Mr. Controlling said to Mr. Smacks Girls for Fun, “We’ll figure out how to get them to whimper when the time comes.”

Mr. Smacks a Lot snickered.

“Not like that you pervert,” Mr. Controlling said, smacking the other on the head. Junjun giggled.

“… Kid, shut up…”

Without another word, they left, arguing how they were going to make the two whimper.

“They’re brats! Aren’t they Eri-san?”

Eri snickered.

“Yeah… yeah they are.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Maki was sitting in front of what could be considered Hitomi’s cutlery drawer, hands folded over her chest, glaring at Hitomi, who was trying to get around the woman.

“No. No cutting, bruising, scarring, burning, jumping off things, concussions, or anything else like that,” Maki said stubbornly.

“That leaves …” Hitomi thought a moment.

“Not that either!”

“You didn't even let me finish for you to reject it.”

“That’s not the point…”

Hitomi pouted. She was no fun. Why wouldn’t Maki let her cut herself up so she could get healed?

Wasn’t that the point of Maki’s training? To use her powers?

“I will not have you doing anything to yourself!”

“Then how to you practice!?”

“I guess I don't. See, I don’t see how this is a bad thing, this not practicing.”

“Well… it’s not a good thing! What if like… my insides fall out?”

“They won’t.”

“Well, play hypo-…tomass… no, that’s not it. Gah, Role play with me. If my insides were to start falling out, and here you are, without any training…”

“Then I’ll regret training… but since that’s not likely to happen, seeing as you’re an idol and not… say… someone in a profession that plays with knives for a living, then I’m starting to feel better about this hippopotamus situation already.”

“What if you find me lying on the floor in my last moments of life? Huh, what about that? That could happen again!”

Maki thought. Damn. She got her there.

“Well I could heal you from that, couldn’t I? I’m sure I could pull it off again!”

“You still should train.”

Hitomi took a step towards her, small smirk on her face. If she couldn’t yell Maki away from the cutlery…

“Hitomi, don’t give me a reason to have to injure you.”

The elder woman pouted again.

“Aww, not fair.”

But, before Maki could keep going, Hitomi took the opportunity to get up real close, and wrap an arm around the woman’s waist.

“I’ll just have to give you a reason then…”

Maki thought about this for a moment, finding herself caught in the oceans of her puppy cute eyes, before she realized she had gently been relocated just enough for Hitomi to get a knife out of the drawer.

“Now, we train,” Hitomi said softly, pressing her lips lightly against Maki’s, “Then you can beat up on me about it later… alright?”
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 4, Part 2 :: Without Grace)
Post by: JFC on June 04, 2007, 06:10:03 PM
Wow, so many story arcs going on at once. :dizzy:  I should probably re-read the past chapters again when I get home after work today.
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 4, Part 2 :: Without Grace)
Post by: rndmnwierd on June 04, 2007, 10:56:24 PM
I'm only slightly confused about what's going on now, but I can't wait to see the others' powers.
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 4, Part 2 :: Without Grace)
Post by: ~Psychotic~o_o~ on June 05, 2007, 12:47:49 AM
wow sayu is turning :mon cweepy:...she wanted to kill yossi??? :mon scare: oh and it's funny how yossi can get her way with maki so easily :mon inluv: but keep up the good work...my bloody senses are tingling...>_>
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 4, Part 2 :: Without Grace)
Post by: YoukaiChica on June 05, 2007, 12:56:53 AM
Ahaha. Hippopotamus situations...that killed me. Maki and Yossi are so hilarious. Anyways, Sayu is starting to freak me out. Simply because she knows something but nothing at all. Interesting. And Eri and Junjun. That's equallly confusing. It is a coincidence that they were kidnapped or is there something much bigger going on? Oh. And I LOVED when Junjun said "Someone’s hungry!” So funny. Very clever.
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 4, Part 2 :: Without Grace)
Post by: Kreuz_Asakura on June 05, 2007, 02:13:44 AM
Hey! You see!  I can keep my promises, don't visit the site every hour  :bingo:

Anyway, I love the fic!!!!!!!!!!  :luvluv1:

Miki and her old habits :wahaha:

Like always I love Yomaki, Yossie is just hilarious and no one can't stop her when she wants something    :mon misch:  not even Maki

And Sayumi... :sweat:  she's really freaking me out

OMG That man just hit Junjun  :shock:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 4, Part 3 :: Sins of Love)
Post by: whytphyre on June 05, 2007, 05:55:17 PM
Sorry about the confusion, I got overzealous. I split the last half of the chapter...

And the bloody senses should be tingling. Heh heh heh...


Chapter 4, Part 3 :: Sins of Love

Well, I felt a little unsafe around Sayumi-san, to be honest. She looked like she was going to flip out at someone, told me she wanted Yoshizawa-senpai dead, and on top of that was wearing clashing, not pink clothing.

Clashing, not pink clothing did not go with Sayumi-san.

However, she said she would have much rather us be in a more private area, away from everyone else. It made sense, especially if she wanted to kill me.

Hey, if Miki-senpai was perpetually angry like that, then I would so not put it past Sayumi-san to have Miki-like tendencies.

Everyone did at some point, right?

Whatever the case, we were sitting in a quaint corner of the building, away from people who had prying ears.

Ears can pry, right?

“Miya-san… I… I think I killed Yossie already…”

Huh… would that be why she looks like a walking disaster? That so couldn’t have been it.

“She… she was…”

“Hold up. Start from the beginning. Much easier to understand.”

We may have never been close, but I think she knew I wasn’t going to go off and rat whatever story she has to Tsunku, or worse, FRIDAY.

God forbid I do that.

“… Hai.”

She took a deep breath, before bursting out into tears. I hesitantly gave her a few pats on the back before she sniffed and smiled weakly at me.

“I… I went over to Yossie’s house. I had to talk to her about something… about… how I felt about someone…”

Sayumi-san had a crush? Oh, who was the lucky guy?!

Bad Miyabi! No time for gossip!

“And… so I asked Yossie for advice on how to go about it… and she launched into this crazy speech about birds and bees…”

Birds and bees?

Raising an eyebrow, I held back a giggle. I had to be mature… but my senpai was bawling like a child, how could I be mature?

“I didn’t want to talk about birds and bees. I wanted to know about how to tell Reina I liked her…”

After another moment, she let out another stream of tears and latched onto my person.

How. Awkward.

Wait, Reina?! Were we thinking the same Reina?

“And… then she started talking about how she could get along so well with Reina… and how it shouldn’t… shouldn’t have been a problem for someone so cute… she made it sound like Reina was easy to get… I… and then I couldn’t help myself anymore… I… I yelled at her…”

Sayumi-san must have been understating something somewhere.

“I told her she should die… and now… now I regret it.”

My other brow slowly followed in the eye raising. Had Tsunku picked her for her powers too? Was that what Morning Musume was?

I mean, Rii-chan had that awfully strange behavior of popping up when we least expected it. At least she was cheery about it.

But Sayumi-san didn’t have the power to turn into a psycho killer and like gouge out hearts or anything, did she?

Because that would be scary.

“Miya-san… I… you won’t tell anyone, will you?”

I’m not too sure anyone would believe me if I went up and told them that Sayumi-san had a crush on Reina-san, and Sayumi-san got horribly offended when Yoshizawa-senpai made it sound like Reina-san was a one hundred yen hooker.

I don’t know if it was because I started to exaggerate this story in my head, or because Sayumi-san was queen of cute, not queen of blood.

Whatever. This was scary.

“Nah… We’ve had enough scandals lately.”

She let out another sob and attached herself to me. How amazingly awkward, but I didn’t say anything about it.

I gave her a few more pats on the back.

“There there, we’ll figure this out…”

Somehow.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“Sayumin?”

Reina was a little more delicate with her searching, but Miki was all over the place, hunting through room and closet, being nosier than a puppy looking for a treat.

“Sayumin, we just wanted to talk…” Reina tried again.

“About how you almost killed Tomo-kun!”

If Reina had no fear in her body, she would have whirled around and glared at Miki, who was now searching through what looked to be the girl’s underwear drawer.

It was more an absent-minded thing to grope while searching about elsewhere.

“Mikitty… I don’t think Sayumin will appreciate it much if you go through her panti- are those black?”

Reina held back from looking over the woman’s shoulder as Miki glanced down at what she was doing.

“Yep… they would  be black panties… why, you interested?”

Reina’s cheeks became red with embarrassment, and she looked away.

“No… it… it just doesn’t seem like Sayumin, that’s all.”

Miki grinned.

“Mmmhmm…”

Reina was about to make a small rebuttle to that comment, when a loud thud came from inside Sayumi’s clothing closet.

“… I thought I checked that already.”

Miki grumbled lightly, but made her way over to the door, absentmindedly shoving the black panties into Reina’s hands. Reina stared at them a moment, before letting out a yelp and throwing them onto the floor, cheeks still flushed with color.

As Miki’s hand was on the handle, the door burst open, slamming into the woman’s face.

“HEY!” she grunted, rubbing her nose, “What the hell was that for!?”

On the other side of the door was dear little Koharu, who stared at Miki before moving to run back into the closet. Miki grabbed the handle and pulled back, bringing Koharu out into the open.

“DON’T HURT ME!” the girl shouted, “You’ve already hurt me enough!”

“No… I haven’t… Reina, did you hurt Koharu?”

“No! I would never!”

Koharu meeped again, and clung to Miki.

“Thank you…”

After a rather hesitant moment, Miki put an arm around Koharu and gave her a pat on the shoulder.

“ Don’t worry Koharu, I’ll scare her away if Reina doesn’t blind her with her bling-bling.”

Reina snorted at the joke, as Miki grinned at her.

“How about we get you calmed down… and you can tell us where Sayumi is…”

Koharu whimpered at her mentor’s name, causing Miki to quirk her brow.

“Sayumi didn’t do this to you, did she?”
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 4, Part 3 :: Sins of Love)
Post by: rndmnwierd on June 05, 2007, 07:02:55 PM
Sayu as a phsyco killer? Awesome! :rofl:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 4, Part 3 :: Sins of Love)
Post by: JFC on June 05, 2007, 07:17:20 PM
Sayu has a split-personality thing going on maybe?
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 4, Part 3 :: Sins of Love)
Post by: ~Psychotic~o_o~ on June 06, 2007, 01:38:28 AM
omg...*psychotic screechy music* sayu...a psycho...OMG...haha nice change from innocent girl dressed in pink...but...keeping koharu in a closet...that is creepy.. :OMG: :stoned: :scared: :mon cweepy: :mon scare: :mon closeup: :mon spit: gonna stop with the emotions..omg she's here! *gets butchered by sayu* AHH...*crawling back to computer to finish reply*..okay i'm done with the dramatics.*slaps self*..too much sugar >_>...
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 4, Part 3 :: Sins of Love)
Post by: raspberrygashes on June 07, 2007, 07:32:07 AM
Wow...this story is murderous...  :sweat:

I LOVE IT!!  :wahaha: Keep 'em coming.
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 4, Part 3 :: Sins of Love)
Post by: whytphyre on June 07, 2007, 03:59:18 PM
*glares at angry evil servers*

I was going to update with Chapter 4 right this second, but then I had a sudden splurge of ZOMGNOIHAVETODOTHISTHISWAYNESS. So when part 4 comes up, it'll be better than I originally planned. ^^

Onto the comments and giving people hints.

To be perfectly honest... you all are very close, keep thinking that way. I won't tell you where, 'cause then it won't be fun.
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 4, Part 3 :: Sins of Love)
Post by: YoukaiChica on June 07, 2007, 10:15:29 PM
Hmmmm. Sayu knows something. I know she does!! But what?? I'm pretty sure it wasn't her that messed with Yossi but there has to be a reason for the whole Koharu/Closet incident. Then again, I would shove Koharu in a closet too...
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 4, Part 4 :: Run Away)
Post by: whytphyre on June 08, 2007, 05:21:29 PM
FINALLY. I know. Here it is. Not much to say about it. Just gearing up to get the first conflict out of the way.

That's right, first conflict. There are more then I'm letting on. This is the end of chapter 4 though. Stay tuned for Chapter 5


Chapter 4, Part 4 :: Run Away

Hitomi held the knife up high, away from Maki’s reach. The younger woman tried to pry the bloody object out of the red head’s hand, but found it increasingly difficult when she could not even grab a hold of it.

“Put it down at least… if you end up slicing your ear off, I’m not healing it,” she replied angrily. Hitomi shook her head.

“If I put it down, you’ll make a grab for it… and then we’ll fight again, and we already determined you can’t heal yourself.”

There were a few small gashes on the inside of Maki’s palm, where she got panicked and stupid enough to grab the knife by not the handle. She knew Hitomi felt guilty about it, and would have rather risked her own ear than hurt her again.

Hitomi, on the other hand, was completely gashless, save for the small wound that was still on her left leg.

The wound that caused her to limp around so much.

There was part of Hitomi that wanted to break down and cry. If the wound didn’t heal up soon, she would be out of commission for just about anything for quite awhile.

That was why she was pushing Maki so hard. To get the wound off of her mind, until it healed up.

Maki didn’t seem to pay any heed, as she sat atop of Hitomi, reaching for the object again.

“If I promise not to grab it, do you promise to put it down?” she asked. After a thought, Hitomi nodded, and set the knife down, next to the both of them, on the couch. Maki smiled.

“Good. Now no more self mutilation. It scares me.”

Hitomi grinned.

“I only mutilate myself when you’re around.”

“Tch! You only say that because I’ve got healing powers!”

“They’re not just healing powers… they’re sexy healing powers.”

Giggling lightly, Maki let a little blush sneak onto her cheeks. Hitomi took it as a hint she was getting to the girl again, and she leaned over to plant a kiss on the younger woman’s lips.

“Yocchan…”

Well, there went the kiss. Settling back down, Hitomi sighed.

“Yeah?”

“Why is it that I’ve go the healing powers and you’ve got the strange mind powers? Shouldn’t… shouldn’t you get the healing powers? You’re around more people, aren’t you?”

Always the one with the brain and the overthought, Maki. It was the one thing Hitomi wished she didn’t do so much.

“We don’t choose our powers. It’s kinda like we were born with them or something… I don’t know, Tsunku tried explaining when I made subleader, but it just… didn’t make all that much sense.”

Nodding, Maki bit her lip, back in thought again. Hitomi gave the girl a pout.

“You’re horrible at those Yocchan. Don’t expect me to do anything for you with that.”

But it was a cute sad attempt at a pout! Look at it!

“Yocchan… stop.”

“You want me and you know it.”

Maki gave Hitomi a look, before grabbing a pillow and lightly smacking the older woman in the head with it.

“You’re so full of it!”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“Stop being such a brat!”

I found that the more we protested to the stupid men, the more likely they were going to leave this situation with bruises. Junjun had already been slapped a few times, but the girl was just way too stubborn. On the other hand, it was me who had just been called a brat.

Slapping hurt.

Staring up at the man, I snorted.

“Takes one to know one.”

Another slap.

“Shut up. Just… shut up…”

And he left. Junjun let out a whine.

“I’m hungry!!!” she wailed. Poor girl. If I wasn’t so damn tied up, I would have gone to find where the nearest restaurant was and taken her to it.

That would have required the men on the other side of the door to not be such stupid heads.

Or as Junjun called them, ‘Silly Frenchmen.’ I liked that. She was so quirky, and I knew she was smart. I just wished they would stop that hitting stuff. It wasn’t very nice.

“Junjun… we’ll get you something… we’ll get outta this… some way…”

Not that I would have been much help. According to Tsunku, I could augment things. He didn’t specify what ‘things’ were, or how much I could do any of this. He just said I could.

Whatever. I barely knew what the word augment meant.

“Just don’t worry about it… when we get home, I’ll get Reina to bake you a big cake…”

“What about cake?”

I stared up a moment, and if it was Junjun who was talking to me, I would have flinched. But, there she was, standing before me, munching on a candy bar.

“… How…”

“I dunno. Food… want, candy… get… and … now I’m here…”

Okay, that was silly. She needed to learn better Japanese. But we already went over that.

“Uhm… Junjun… how…”

She shrugged, and grinned.

“We want out?”

Yes.

“Yeah.”

Junjun munching on the candy bar for another moment, before putting a hand on Eri’s shoulder.

“Close eyes. Imagine home.”

Nodding, Eri closed her eyes, and imagined her house… her bed, her warm bed, the thing she shouldn’t have left in the first place today.

After a few minutes, she felt Junjun’s breath in her ear.

“You can open your eyes now.”

Doing so, Eri looked around. She was sitting in her room, on her warm, comfy bed, with Junjun sitting right next to her.

“I make us go away!”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“It’s time to play with the little girls…”

“Don’t… please…”

“Aww, you’re all needy again… who should we start with? I’ll let you choose…”

“No… I’m not…”

“Fine… then Pigtails goes first.”
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 4, Part 4 :: Run Away)
Post by: Kreuz_Asakura on June 08, 2007, 06:46:18 PM
Ohhhh Yeah!!!!! the part 4!!!  :mon star:

This is awesome!!! I love it and for some reason I think I'm falling for Yomaki again!!! I just love those two!!! :luvluv1: :luvluv1: :luvluv1:

Wow...so Junjun can "teletransport" (this is right? I'm not sure about this word)  :mon huh:
However...The final is always interesting  :glasses:

Waiting for the chapter 5  :stuffed:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 4, Part 4 :: Run Away)
Post by: rndmnwierd on June 08, 2007, 07:03:14 PM
I'm confused again. The Yossui and Maki part I get and the Jun Jun and Eri part I also get. It's the Sayu and the last part of the chapter I'm having trouble with.
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 4, Part 4 :: Run Away)
Post by: JFC on June 09, 2007, 02:56:03 PM
Quote
“Put it down at least… if you end up slicing your ear off, I’m not healing it,” she replied angrily. Hitomi shook her head.

“If I put it down, you’ll make a grab for it… and then we’ll fight again, and we already determined you can’t heal yourself.”

There were a few small gashes on the inside of Maki’s palm, where she got panicked and stupid enough to grab the knife by not the handle. She knew Hitomi felt guilty about it, and would have rather risked her own ear than hurt her again.
Awwwwwwww... :cry:


Quote
Maki didn’t seem to pay any heed, as she sat atop of Hitomi, reaching for the object again.
Under other circumstances, this could be hot. :P


Quote
Hitomi gave the girl a pout.

“You’re horrible at those Yocchan. Don’t expect me to do anything for you with that.”

But it was a cute sad attempt at a pout! Look at it!
LOOK AT IT!!!  :mon blowhorn:

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Quote
Junjun let out a whine.

“I’m hungry!!!” she wailed. Poor girl. If I wasn’t so damn tied up, I would have gone to find where the nearest restaurant was and taken her to it.

That would have required the men on the other side of the door to not be such stupid heads.

Or as Junjun called them, ‘Silly Frenchmen.’ I liked that. She was so quirky, and I knew she was smart.
Can't help but love the way Eri and Junjun call them childish names like "stupid heads" and "Silly Frenchmen". :lol:  It's just so CUTE!!!


Quote
According to Tsunku, I could augment things. He didn’t specify what ‘things’ were, or how much I could do any of this. He just said I could.
Oh, preview of Eri's (as of yet) unknown power? :w00t:


Quote
“Just don’t worry about it… when we get home, I’ll get Reina to bake you a big cake…”

“What about cake?”

I stared up a moment, and if it was Junjun who was talking to me, I would have flinched. But, there she was, standing before me, munching on a candy bar.
Wait, how'd she get untied? And where'd the candy bar come from?  :dunno:


Quote
“Uhm… Junjun… how…”

She shrugged, and grinned.

“We want out?”

Yes.

“Yeah.”

Junjun munching on the candy bar for another moment, before putting a hand on Eri’s shoulder.

“Close eyes. Imagine home.”

Nodding, Eri closed her eyes, and imagined her house… her bed, her warm bed, the thing she shouldn’t have left in the first place today.

After a few minutes, she felt Junjun’s breath in her ear.

“You can open your eyes now.”

Doing so, Eri looked around. She was sitting in her room, on her warm, comfy bed, with Junjun sitting right next to her.

“I make us go away!”
Junjun's a teleporter! Take THAT you wannabe kidnappers!  :shakeit: :muffin:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 4, Part 4 :: Run Away)
Post by: orangesocks on June 09, 2007, 03:54:05 PM
Whoa, I really like how you wrote in FRIDAY and JunJun. Not to mention the interaction between Eri and JunJun is hilarious! Kinda funny how Eri's found someone "weirder" than herself (Though not exactly weirder, just conflicting with a language barrier in this case).

I don't know how you do it--tie thriller + comedy + supernatural stuff--so well, but I like it! Darn myself for not having read this sooner.  :banghead:

When I read 'Pigtails goes first' I was like, "AH! RISA?!" But then I remembered she got rid of them and relaxed for a moment before thinking, "AH?! SAYU?!"

Ah, I really enjoy how you've characterized everyone. Plus Yomaki, Michishige and Tanaka... XD

Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 5 :: Run Away)
Post by: whytphyre on June 14, 2007, 03:56:50 AM
*cackle* This next set of chapters might get confusing a bit, but it'll all make sense in the end.

And orangesocks, you were closer than you think the first time ^^ No fluff (I was angry at me too) but there's a cute little scene at the end. I wouldn't have written it if it weren't for the fact that 'god, Eri and Junjun need a moment. I don't know why, but they're going to need one.'

And... by the way.

 :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

Because I can.


Chapter 5 :: Game Time

Rooting around in Sayumi’s kitchen was not Reina’s idea of a good time, but Miki insisted she make something for everyone. It was around lunchtime, and the elder of the duo had been talking to Koharu for a good few hours now.

By that time, Reina had gotten three calls from Takahashi, one telling her to stay with Koharu no matter what, the second checking up on her and Koharu (despite the fact that Miki was there and they were perfectly fine), and the final asking where the hell they were and why the hell weren’t they back at the studio.

Whatever.

Reina also had a problem with Sayumi’s kitchen. There was very little in it in the sense of what Reina could use to cook with.

She had finally settled on just making sandwiches and lecturing Sayumi on the importance of supplying her damn kitchen later.

If Sayumi wasn’t responsible for whatever was going on.

She doubted it, highly. It didn’t seem like something Sayumi would do, even if provoked to do it. She didn’t see Sayumi killing Hitomi, almost mauling Miki’s boyfriend, and stuffing Koharu in a closet. They weren’t very Sayumi-like tendencies.

Then again, this whole day had started off very not-Sayumi-like for both of them.

Reina was worried for her friend, of course. She didn’t know what to make of their phone conversation earlier, and she wasn’t entirely sure she meant it when she said those words before hanging up.

Love was a fickle thing anyways. She didn’t need Yuko hovering over her to tell her that.

Maybe she should have called up Mari. Mari would have known what to do.

If Hitomi wasn’t so ‘dead’ right now, maybe she would have asked her former leader.

Why did she assume that? Hitomi’s death… they didn’t even know yet, and it was already assumed!

“Hey, Tanaka!”

Miki’s voice snapped her back to reality, and she hurriedly brought out sandwiches. The two were sitting on the couch, Miki trying to get Koharu out of her curled up position, but failing miserably.

“It’s about time…” Miki said, as Reina set the sandwiches down on the table in front of them, and sat on the floor, completing the strange triangle thing. She examined Koharu a moment. Koharu was staring at her, of course, in a creepy way, more creepy than the ‘I want you to buy my singles buy my singles now’ look that she got when posing for the camera. It seemed more panicked, quite a bit on the frightened side.

“Koha, how about a sandwich?” Miki tried, in a slightly motherly voice. Koharu didn’t say anything, just kept her stare on Reina.

“Miki, maybe we should leave her alone for a moment… she’ll speak when she wants to,” Reina said softly, reaching over and putting a hand on Koharu’s knee, “Isn’t that right? You’ll be fine with us.”

She smiled warmly, much more motherly than Miki could ever pull off. Grunting, the elder took a sandwich and started munching on it, eyes on Koharu.

“Ya know… you’d think this one’d say a lot. She’s pretty talkative…”

“… She was locked in a closet Mikitty… maybe she just doesn’t wanna talk about it…”

“Saki said she was next…”

Koharu’s blunt statement caused the girls to stop in their conversation and stare.

“Come again?” Reina asked.

“… Saki… she said ‘she’s next.’”

“Who?”

“… I… I don’t know… she was looking at a picture of you and Sayumi…”

Miki raised her brow.

“Well… we’ll just have to find Sayumi the-wait…”

The realization washed over the both of them, and they stared at Koharu again.

“SAKI!?”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Letting out a small snort, Risa walked through the convenience store, attempting to find snacks. Why was it that she was playing errand girl? Ever since Ai became subleader, there was always a sense of rejection from the woman. It was woman now, wasn’t it? Who would have thought it would have been Ai?

It was in Risa’s personal opinion that Makoto would have made a better one. Maybe. Okay, no, she wanted Hitomi back and that was final.

But she never got her way. She was always the one in the back, the one no one cared about…

“Ah, sumimasen,” she said politely to the man behind the register, “Is there a chance that you have strawberry pocky?”

She had been looking for it for the past five minutes. She already had some chocolate pocky for herself, some strange American cracker thing for Ai, and some bubbly stuff. However, it was specifically requested that strawberry pocky be bought as well. Maybe they had found Sayumi.

This is why she needed more friends.

“I’m sorry, no… we’re all out.”

How could one be all out of strawberry pocky? Making a noise, she picked a few more pocky boxes out, before setting them down on the counter.

“Looks like someone’s got a big party going on…”

“Hmm?”

Risa looked down. It did look like a lot.

“Nah… just a meeting…”

Or something. The man smiled, ringing up the items as quickly as he could. Risa was already in her pockets for money.

“I was beginning to wonder what was going on… Matsuura-san was in here earlier. She was in quite a rush.”

Risa blinked, but kept the smile on her face. What about Matsuura-san? She didn’t usually have anything to do with a Morning Musume member.

“She was asking for your subleader, and when I asked if she was wondering about Takahashi-san, she said ‘no, I want to speak with Niigaki.’ Quite strange really. Why she would ask me if you had come in or not is beyond me…”

Quite strange indeed. Quirking a brow, Risa stared at him for a moment, while trying to find an answer.

“Huh… I have no idea what she’s talking about…”

The man shrugged.

“She wasn’t too specific either. I wouldn’t worry about it.”

Smiling, Risa mimicked the man’s shrug.

“If you say so. Maybe she was just stressed.”

“Ah, Fujimoto-san’s strange scandal… right.”

Risa refrained from rolling her eyes. FRIDAY was stupid, and not worth her time. Ever.

While she was thinking, and the man was ringing up her order, trying to get small talk out of her again, a loud noise rang throughout the store, and outside onto the street. Quite shortly after, impact and sharp pain caused Risa to fall forward, onto the counter in front of her.

“No… you won’t be the subleader… Pigtails.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“Why would they wanna kidnap us? I mean, we’ve gotta be two of the most… obscure members of Morning Musume right now… Junjun, don’t touch that…”

They were in Eri’s kitchen, the taller of the two getting rather hungry and wanting something good to eat… and she specifically remembered Eri had promised her something along the lines of rice balls at one point.

Suddenly, onigiri sounded good.

So that was what Eri was trying to prepare, with Junjun in the kitchen.

“Seriously. It’s Turtle Girl and Chinese Panda number… one. You’re older, you’ll be number one.”

Junjun gave Eri a peculiar look, but shrugged, and went right back to examining the bruise on Eri’s cheek.

“I told you not to touch that!”

Eri started smacking at Junjun, and Junjun retaliated by trying to smack back. They ended up swatting hands and air for a good few moments before Eri snorted and resumed cooking.

“Grumpy! Worse than Grumpy Frenchmen!”

How amazingly redundant of Junjun. There wasn’t much Eri could do about it though, so she watched the girl pout and glare, before she went right back to cooking.

Then Junjun was at it again. What was with the poking and the bruises? Those hurt!

“JUNJUN!”

Instead of recoiling her hand like she had done before, Junjun kept up, this time getting a little more motherly and actually examining the bruise.

“Jun.Jun,” Eri pronounced, slowly, “Let. Me. Cook. Your. Stu. Pid. Rice. Balls. In. Peace.”

“No. Grumpy, hurt. You need nap.”

And before Eri could say anything else, she was shoved out of her own kitchen.

“Now go!”

“What? No, I’m making rice balls for you!”

“GO!”

Junjun pointed this time, to where Eri’s room was.

“NOW! Onigiri I bring. You sleep. I know cook how. No worry burn house down.”

“But…”

“GO!”
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 5 :: Game Time)
Post by: rndmnwierd on June 14, 2007, 04:36:46 AM
Holy crap, Risa! :shocked: Did she get shot?!


On a lighter note:
Quote
“No. Grumpy, hurt. You need nap.”

Jun Jun is so cute. :D
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 5 :: Game Time)
Post by: orangesocks on June 14, 2007, 03:09:48 PM
Quote
“No… you won’t be the subleader… Pigtails.”
NOOOOoo, RISA!!!!!!  :scared:  :frustrated: They better get Gomaki on the scene...Risa has to live so she can make more frieeeeends...! Gah, what power does she have?! Maybe the power to turn back time?

Quote
“Seriously. It’s Turtle Girl and Chinese Panda number… one. You’re older, you’ll be number one.”
Hakkan CM reference?  XD
Phew, thank goodness for their little moment of comic relief and cuteness...

Quote
Koharu was staring at her, of course, in a creepy way, more creepy than the ‘I want you to buy my singles buy my singles now’ look that she got when posing for the camera.
I know the look you speak of... :ph43r:

So now Aya can see into the future, yeah? Wonder what she had to say to Gaki-san, other than "Watch your friggin' back!"

Phew, I hope Sayumi's name gets cleared...
Though maybe her powers precipitated in forming a separate personality to house her dark side(?!)

Who's behind all of this, I wonder...


RIKA?!  :shocked:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 5 :: Game Time)
Post by: Kreuz_Asakura on June 14, 2007, 06:22:49 PM
I never will get tired to say it, THIS IS AWESOME!!! 
You always surprise me with something....but

What happen Risa?  :dunno:
 "she" shoot her? :OMG:

So now Aya is also behaving in a mysterious way?  :mon cweepy:
This is getting better  :mon thumb: you know how keep people interested  :mon misch:

BTW... NO YOMAKI?  :mon waterworks: :mon waterworks: :mon waterworks:
Please tell me they gonna be in the next chap...  :mon cute: :mon hanky:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 5 :: Game Time)
Post by: JFC on June 14, 2007, 06:57:53 PM
Quote
She didn’t see Sayumi killing Hitomi, almost mauling Miki’s boyfriend, and stuffing Koharu in a closet. They weren’t very Sayumi-like tendencies.
Being able to see someone doing something is not the same thing as them having the capability of doing that particular something.  This could be part of a secret, dark-side of Sayu that no one has yet seen.


Quote
“… She was locked in a closet Mikitty… maybe she just doesn’t wanna talk about it…”

“Saki said she was next…”

Koharu’s blunt statement caused the girls to stop in their conversation and stare.

“Come again?” Reina asked.

“… Saki… she said ‘she’s next.’”

“Who?”

“… I… I don’t know… she was looking at a picture of you and Sayumi…”
She spoke! :w00t: So...Koharu was the other girl that was with Captain?  :?


Quote
“Ah, sumimasen,” she said politely to the man behind the register, “Is there a chance that you have strawberry pocky?”

...

“I’m sorry, no… we’re all out.”
Unable to find Strawberry Pocky anywhere? That's definitely strange.


Quote
“I was beginning to wonder what was going on… Matsuura-san was in here earlier. She was in quite a rush.”

...

“She was asking for your subleader, and when I asked if she was wondering about Takahashi-san, she said ‘no, I want to speak with Niigaki.’
Wha??  :shocked:   Ok, Aya can either read the minds of the UFA higher-ups or she just has really good contacts and found out that Risa's going to be the new subleader.


Quote
While she was thinking, and the man was ringing up her order, trying to get small talk out of her again, a loud noise rang throughout the store, and outside onto the street. Quite shortly after, impact and sharp pain caused Risa to fall forward, onto the counter in front of her.

“No… you won’t be the subleader… Pigtails.”
:OMG: ONOES!

Voodoo?


Quote
“Seriously. It’s Turtle Girl and Chinese Panda number… one. You’re older, you’ll be number one.”
Gotta love Eri's cute sense (or lack thereof) of logic.  :love:


Quote
Junjun gave Eri a peculiar look, but shrugged, and went right back to examining the bruise on Eri’s cheek.

“I told you not to touch that!”

Eri started smacking at Junjun, and Junjun retaliated by trying to smack back. They ended up swatting hands and air for a good few moments before Eri snorted and resumed cooking.

“Grumpy! Worse than Grumpy Frenchmen!”
GIRLY SLAP FIGHT!   :lol: 


Quote
Instead of recoiling her hand like she had done before, Junjun kept up, this time getting a little more motherly and actually examining the bruise.

“Jun.Jun,” Eri pronounced, slowly, “Let. Me. Cook. Your. Stu. Pid. Rice. Balls. In. Peace.”

“No. Grumpy, hurt. You need nap.”
Poor Eri. Being kidnapped and tied up like that by a bunch of (to quote Jun Jun) "Silly Frenchmen" would likely make anyone grumpy. ;D   


Quote
“GO!”

Junjun pointed this time, to where Eri’s room was.

“NOW! Onigiri I bring. You sleep. I know cook how. No worry burn house down.”

“But…”

“GO!”
Bossy Jun Jun = cute.  :wub:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 6 Part 1 :: I'm Not Gonna Wait)
Post by: whytphyre on June 15, 2007, 05:21:21 AM
Yes, Yomaki to the rescue.

Sort of.

I have to split this chapter up into parts too. Not as many as chapter four, but I couldn't help it. It makes more sense this way.

Comedy and drama! All in one part of a chapter.

Suffice to say, I'm not giving poor Gaki much love this time around... I promise to give her more in a sequel or something... 'cause I know I'm going to have one.

And before any of you say anything, I will remind you all of Hitomi's secondary power :: Empathy. ^^ That is all, enjoy!


Chapter 6 Part 1 :: I'm Not Gonna Wait

Drumming her fingers on the steering wheel of her dark purple car, Hitomi stared up at the stoplight for a few moments. It had been the first time she used the car since January, but somehow, Maki managed to convince her to use it again.

Despite the fact that she had yet to remember which pedal was the break pedal and which one was the gas pedal, she was doing fairly well. Maki kept pointing out which one was which after awhile. That was always good.

Sometimes.

“Yocchan, why do you even have this song in your car?”

Of course, she had yet to remember that ‘Love Like Crazy’ had been in the CD player for quite some time. That was where she put it!

“Hito wa mina, yasashisa ni… nareta iku…”

She was also paying very little attention to Maki, and paying more attention to the song and the road.

“Yocchan, stop it… This is embarrassing.”

“Shippai nado osoreteicha tsumannai…”

“Yocchan…”

Once Hitomi started in on the rapping, Maki decided she had had enough, and clicked the song off.

And, if pouts had a cute little noise to go with it…

“Awww… I was havin’ fun…”

“I wasn’t. That was embarrassing. Yocchan, how long have you had that?”

“… I dunno… I bought it one time… ya know, the whole support thing… I guess it’s been awhile… I was dating Aya at the time.”

Another stoplight tore Hitomi’s eyes from the road momentarily, to grin at Maki, who gave Hitomi her best ‘I’m not impressed by that’ look. Hitomi’s eyes wandered right back to the road.

“Awk-ward.”

“You started it.”

“Oh, who’s the little kid now Gocchin? Hmmm?”

“Just focus on your driving…”

Hitomi brat pouted, but stopped as an ambulance blazed by in front of them. Her look suddenly became serious.

“That’s not good.”

“Usually when ambulances do that…”

“We’re following.”

“What?!”

Maki didn’t look impressed again. Hitomi paid no heed, carefully manuvering out of the lane and going after the ambulance.

“We are SO not following!”

“Yes we are. What better way to test your powers out?”

“Would you shut up about that!? That’s why we’re in the car to begin with Yocchan! So we can go right up to Tsunku and figure this out once and for all!”

Hitomi paid no heed, once again, stopping in front of a small convenience store. As she went to turn the ignition off, she let out a pained cry, moving her hand to her head.

“… It’s bad…”

Maki started to panic. Hitomi was hurt or something, and there was an ambulance, sirens blazing, as well as a broken window, but no stretcher with person on it yet.

“Yocchan…”

“Go! Just… go find out what’s wrong… I… I can’t stand this… you’ll have to go in yourself…”

“Are you gonna be okay?”

“I’ll be fine! Someone’s dying in there!”

After a few more hesitated moments, Maki jumped out of the car, and cautiously made her way into the store.

Her ears were immediately assaulted with the cries of a familiar voice, and the panic of unfamiliar voices.

“… Nii Nii?”

Of course, no one heard her squeak the name out, but she ventured closer. There was Risa, either in the pains of what looked to be either pregnancy or broken leg, she couldn’t tell which. There didn’t seem to be evidence of a wound on her body, but the blood all over the floor was enough to at least merit panic and an ambulance.

“Nii Nii?”

This time, one of the EMTs answered, giving Maki only a half glance.

“You’re going to have to give her some room…”

“Is… is she…”

“… Back wound… we can’t move her till she settles… And until then, she makes it worse…”

Maki stopped listening after that, despite the fact that he kept on, on how she should step back and give her friend room.

She knelt down next to her friend, after pushing one of the other EMTs out of the way, and rested a hand on her friend’s shoulder.

“It’s alright Nii Nii… shhhhh… just calm down… it’ll be alright… just rest…”

Normally, Maki probably figured Risa would have wriggled around and cried out more, what with the pain and all. But, this was different. This was far from normal.

In a matter of seconds, Risa was in what seemed to be a deep sleep. The first EMT stared at Maki.

“… She’ll be okay…” Maki said, more to reassure herself than anything else. She stood up, and backed off, to let the EMT ambulance men do their job.

“Gocchin…”

That, and the pair of hands that went on her shoulders caused a sudden jump, possibly three feet into the air, but Maki relaxed.

At least Hitomi was good for that.

“… Is she going to be alright?”

“I don’t know…”

It was a whispered response, but Hitomi didn’t push it. She just pulled Maki closer, and held her there a moment.

“I can’t feel anything…” Hitomi whispered after a moment, “… Not from her… she’s there… but… she’s not there…”

Maki nodded slowly, letting a few tears roll down her cheeks.

“Just calm down Gocchin… you did all you could…”
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 6 Part 1 :: I'm Not Gonna Wait)
Post by: JFC on June 15, 2007, 05:59:33 AM
Quote
Drumming her fingers on the steering wheel of her dark purple car, Hitomi stared up at the stoplight for a few moments. It had been the first time she used the car since January, but somehow, Maki managed to convince her to use it again.

Despite the fact that she had yet to remember which pedal was the break pedal and which one was the gas pedal, she was doing fairly well.
Maki kept pointing out which one was which after awhile.
I'd be worried about that part. :O


Quote
“Yocchan, why do you even have this song in your car?”

Of course, she had yet to remember that ‘Love Like Crazy’ had been in the CD player for quite some time. That was where she put it!
You know what they say, it's always in the LAST place you look. :P


Quote
Hitomi brat pouted, but stopped as an ambulance blazed by in front of them. Her look suddenly became serious.

“That’s not good.”

“Usually when ambulances do that…”

“We’re following.”


“What?!”
Sounds like something the Peg Sheety crew would do. :P


Quote
“We are SO not following!”

“Yes we are. What better way to test your powers out?”
Oh...right. Maki can practice her healing powers without Yossi having to hurt herself. And here I thought Yossi just wanted to see where the ambulance was going.  :D


Quote
Hitomi paid no heed, once again, stopping in front of a small convenience store. As she went to turn the ignition off, she let out a pained cry, moving her hand to her head.

“… It’s bad…”

Maki started to panic. Hitomi was hurt or something, and there was an ambulance, sirens blazing, as well as a broken window, but no stretcher with person on it yet.

...

Someone’s dying in there!”
OHNOES!!! It must be the store Risa's at!!! MAKI HELP HER!!! :OMG:


Quote
“Gocchin…”

That, and the pair of hands that went on her shoulders caused a sudden jump, possibly three feet into the air, but Maki relaxed.

At least Hitomi was good for that.

“… Is she going to be alright?”

“I don’t know…”

It was a whispered response, but Hitomi didn’t push it. She just pulled Maki closer, and held her there a moment.

“I can’t feel anything…” Hitomi whispered after a moment, “… Not from her… she’s there… but… she’s not there…”

Maki nodded slowly, letting a few tears roll down her cheeks.

“Just calm down Gocchin… you did all you could…”
:cry: :cry: :cry:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 6 Part 1 :: I'm Not Gonna Wait)
Post by: iacus on June 15, 2007, 08:20:32 AM
Boy, JunJun and Eri are really cute. . . .that means something horrible is going to happen to them, right?

Also, is that supposed to be Berryz Saki or C-ute Saki?  Either way it's kinda weird: I can't really picture either of them being horrifyingly psychotic and evil.
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 6 Part 1 :: I'm Not Gonna Wait)
Post by: rndmnwierd on June 15, 2007, 02:24:50 PM
Risa! Oh noooooes! Come back to us!
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 6 Part 1 :: I'm Not Gonna Wait)
Post by: glcorps2002 on June 15, 2007, 03:09:55 PM
You better had not killed her. That's all I'm saying.
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 6 Part 2 :: Out of the Fire?)
Post by: whytphyre on June 18, 2007, 03:07:42 AM
I say nothing on the mention of Saki. You'll find out all in due time.

And my my, such hostility. I won't say who dies, but Risa doesn't die... yet. She ain't dyin' from a simple gunshot wound, that's for sure.

Oh, by the way..... I'm gonna sit in my corner and cackle again. ^^ Part 3 (Last part) is coming up tomorrow/Tuesday, so stay tuned!


Chapter 6, Part 2 :: Out of the Fire?

Why was I running away?

It made absolutely no sense. Saki told me to ‘send regards’ or something stupid like that, and now here I was, gun in hand, running away. I saw a dark purple car speed by after the ambulance I hid from only moments before. Part of me was fairly certain I had known that car, but I didn’t want to stop and figure out who was inside.

Saki would have told me to shoot them too, if they had seen me. That was not something I wanted to happen.

Why Nii Nii? Why not Sayumin? Sayumin actually saw what happened… Nii Nii was innocent! Did Saki know something I didn’t?

She always did, what was I talking about?

“Would you hold on for a minute? Find an alleyway and wait for the mess to clear up… don’t look like you’re about to get caught.”

Letting out a noise, I found myself being pulled into a nearby alley.

“God, you’re so stupid sometimes…”

“Why did you have me do that!?”

“Do what? Oh, scare the living crap out of everyone? Please…”

She glanced around the wall, and, after grunting about how stupid I was, continued on.

“I scare people for fun… I didn’t expect Pigtails to die… but if she does, that’s one less person I have to worry about…”

I didn’t like the thought of losing friends left and right. That was bad for my career, and I had enough on my conscience as it was.

I still had to get over her torturing Yossie, and stuffing Koha into a closet. And poor Tomo-kun… I don’t know how she knew that one, but the things she got out of him about Mikitty were hair-raising.

“But…”

“No Momo… I ain’t gonna stop either… this isn’t something we just stop anymore. There isn’t gonna be anyone playing the turncoat game… is there?”

The sound of her voice at that point scared me.

“N-no. No, there isn’t.”

“Good. I’d have to do something about that if there was…”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“We’re going back to UFA.”

Miki was flipping out over the whole ordeal, and had finally decided to take action, mainly by trying to force Koharu out of her position on the couch.

“Reina help me out here.”

The younger girl shook her head, rather adamantly.

“Mikitty… she doesn’t want to go.”

It was true, Koharu was far from wanting to go anywhere. Every time Miki pulled at her, she let out a noise and clung to the couch. There would be a point where Koharu was going to hurt herself, and Reina wasn’t sure that was the most ideal for this situation.

“I’ll stay with her… and you can go back,” Reina suggested, “Then, when Koharu’s feeling better, I’ll bring her with me…”

It was a reasonable idea, but Miki wouldn’t have it.

“No. She needs to come now. We need to figure this out…”

“GET OFF!”

A pillow was thrown into Miki’s face, as Koharu leapt down into Reina’s arms. Neither of them were sure how to take this sudden hostility. Koharu did look up to the elder sixth generation member, after all.

Miki let out a grunt.

“Fine. She can stay here with you… but the moment she stops being crazy, you’re bringing her right to UFA, got it?”

“Yep.”

There was an exchange of glances for a moment before Miki promptly turned to leave. Reina brushed a hand through Koharu’s messy hair and held her close.

“Don't worry… Miki’s not gonna take you anywhere without me around… I promise…”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

It was an awkward car ride to the building, but Hitomi tried to strike up conversation. The shock from seeing her friend almost die was too much for Maki, who still had tears falling down her cheeks.

After making sure the car was in a safe parking spot, the elder girl turned to Maki and offered a weak smile.

“They said they’d call if anything happened… we can go see her when we’re done talking to Tsunku, alright?” she finally said, reaching to hold Maki’s hand, “C’mon… she’ll be alright…”

As Hitomi’s hand neared, Maki pulled her own away, afraid to get Risa’s blood all over Hitomi. It was bad enough they would have to explain the situation as it was. Don’t make it look worse.

“Why… why her?”

Hitomi shook her head at Maki’s question. It was perfectly reasonable to ask. Risa had never done anything to hurt anyone in her life, and now she was in a speeding ambulance, fighting to survive.

Déjà vu was sick like that.

“I don’t know.”

“… She’s not gonna die, is she?”

There were so many things Hitomi could have answered to that, but she had no real answer to that question. Not one that would make Maki feel better.

“… I don’t know.”

Maki gave Hitomi a slight smile, before it immediately wiped itself from her face.

“Yocchan…”

Hitomi glanced over her shoulder, and let out a yelp.

“HOLY CRAP!”
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 6 Part 2 :: Out of the Fire?)
Post by: Kreuz_Asakura on June 18, 2007, 03:46:00 AM
 :OMG: :OMG: :OMG: :OMG:

Don't let me like that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

What's going on?  :mon scare:  Is Maki hurt? That's the reason for Yossie's reaction?  :shock:  Or maybe she saw something?       :mon cweepy:      Maybe "she" come to finish her job?   :mon cweepy:

I have to read the next chap  :ding: 
This is crazy!!! :dizzy: :dizzy:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 6 Part 2 :: Out of the Fire?)
Post by: lil_hamz on June 18, 2007, 04:19:23 AM
Wait, Momo shot Risa?? Someone call an ambulance, I think I'm needing one....*faints*
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 6 Part 2 :: Out of the Fire?)
Post by: JFC on June 18, 2007, 04:52:16 AM
Quote
I won't say who dies
That statement, in turn, implies that someone else DOES/IS GOING TO die! (dun dun DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN)  :shocked:


Quote
Saki told me to ‘send regards’ or something stupid like that, and now here I was, gun in hand, running away. I saw a dark purple car speed by after the ambulance I hid from only moments before. Part of me was fairly certain I had known that car, but I didn’t want to stop and figure out who was inside.
So here's the shooter, but why does she sound so panicky? Considering she was calm enough to carry out the task Saki gave her, she's choosing NOW to freak out?  :?


Quote
Why Nii Nii? Why not Sayumin? Sayumin actually saw what happened… Nii Nii was innocent! Did Saki know something I didn’t?
Ok, it's got to be someone that's close to the girls, since she seems to feel close enough to call Risa "Nii Nii" and Sayu "Sayumin". Saki may suspect that Sayu is somehow going to find out she's the one masterminding this all, and thus wants to get her out of the way before she can "spoil her plans". :O


Quote
“No Momo… I ain’t gonna stop either… this isn’t something we just stop anymore. There isn’t gonna be anyone playing the turncoat game… is there?”

The sound of her voice at that point scared me.

“N-no. No, there isn’t.”

“Good. I’d have to do something about that if there was…”
OMG MOMO-CHAN SHOT RISA!!!  And holy shit Captain's sounding scarily sadistic.  :OMG:


Quote
Koharu was far from wanting to go anywhere. Every time Miki pulled at her, she let out a noise and clung to the couch. There would be a point where Koharu was going to hurt herself, and Reina wasn’t sure that was the most ideal for this situation.
Holy cow something else must have happened to Koharu to have her freaked out this much. Sure it's got to be scary being stuck in a closet, but to be like this??? :O


Quote
Miki let out a grunt.

“Fine. She can stay here with you… but the moment she stops being crazy, you’re bringing her right to UFA, got it?”

“Yep.”
I love her "the moment she stops being crazy" comment. It's totally Miki.  :lol:


Quote
There was an exchange of glances for a moment before Miki promptly turned to leave. Reina brushed a hand through Koharu’s messy hair and held her close.

“Don't worry… Miki’s not gonna take you anywhere without me around… I promise…”
Awwwwwwwww...protective Reina.  :heart:


Quote
Maki gave Hitomi a slight smile, before it immediately wiped itself from her face.

“Yocchan…”

Hitomi glanced over her shoulder, and let out a yelp.

“HOLY CRAP!”
What happened? :o
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 6 Part 2 :: Out of the Fire?)
Post by: rndmnwierd on June 18, 2007, 07:02:31 PM
What?! What?!! WHAT??!! Frustrating cliffhangers!


I'm ready to guess though.

Saki's dead and Momo has a split personality!

Am I wrong? I'm wrong, aren't I....?
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 6 Part 3 :: Grumpy Kitty)
Post by: whytphyre on June 19, 2007, 12:53:40 AM
I'm sorry, I just couldn't help it.

 :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin: :grin:

It was too good to pass up.

Again, I tell you nothing of Saki, and now I tell you nothing of Momo. I already stated two someones die. I didn't state who ^^ I never will until they do! *I can rhyme!*

Enjoy the last part of this chapter!

IS SAYUMI REALLY INNOCENT?! *cackle*


Chapter 6, Part 3 :: Grumpy Kitty

Sayumi looked down a moment, rather awkwardly, before glancing over at Miyabi again. This was a strange moment for the both of them to be in, though it was much more so to the younger girl, who was staring at her senpai, unsure of what to say.

“… So you didn’t… really kill anyone?”

“I don’t know…”

Sayumi was weird when she was flustered. About an hour ago, Teki-san (as many of the Berryz now affectionately called Ai) had come over and asked them exactly what was going on. Miyabi had no answer, and Sayumi had stumbled through an attempt of an explanation.

She didn’t get very far.

”Sayumin… there isn’t a lot to tell… you have no idea if Yossie’s alive or dead… but you think a demon killed her.”

“Hai.”

“But you have no idea if she’s alive or dead.”

“… Hai.”

“… Right. This’ll take longer than I thought… I’ll call Gaki-san, I need some pocky… Miya-san, do you want anything?”

She was rather polite, so Miyabi thought before nodding.

“Strawberry pocky, if it isn’t too much trouble.”


After another fifteen minutes of talking, and a cute little phone call to Risa, the woman took her leave and went right to Tsunku. She said she was going to go find Miki, but Miyabi was absolutely certain that Tsunku was on the list of things to do before then.

It had been quite awhile since then, and no sign of either leader, or pocky. Miyabi was now craving it. She needed something to keep her mind off of the whole ordeal.

It could have been worse.

Closing her eyes a moment, Miyabi let out a sigh and slumped back on the couch.

“Sayumin… your demon looks human…”

Staring over at Miyabi a moment, Sayumi raised her brow.

“She did… yeah…”

“No. I mean she looks human. Like… you only saw her back… and the only reason you know she’s female is because of her voice… but you were hiding in a closet… you couldn’t tell…”

Sayumi’s eyes progressively got wider as Miyabi went over every detail she had in her head.

“And… and the only reason she managed to get to Yoshizawa-senpai was because Yoshizawa-senpai shoved you into the closet to keep you safe?”

After a moment, Sayumi nodded.

“So you didn’t kill anyone?”

Yet another moment.

Sayumi shook her head.

“Good. No offense Sayumi-san, but you don’t seem the type to kill someone.”

Once more, another moment passed.

Sayumi hugged Miyabi.

“I knew you wouldn’t think I was crazy!”

“… No, I can just read your mind…”

Blinking, Sayumi stared at her ‘newfound’ friend.

“Wha?!”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“Ah heh…”

Hitomi rubbed the back of her head and grinned, happy there was a door between her and Morning Musume’s new subleader.

“Ai-chan!” she said affectionately, “What’re you doing all the way out here? Don’t you have to make sure the girls do what they’re supposed to?”

Whatever that was.

Ai glared at Hitomi, in a glare worse than Miki’s death glare, if that was even possible. It seemed to be so, as Hitomi’s smile faltered.

“WHAT DO YOU WANT OUT OF ME?! I GRADUATED!”

Maki was trying to stay on her side of the car, unsure of how to deal with all of this. She had never seen sweet, spacey little Ai get all pissy. She heard about it, but she never saw it.

She needed to find out how Ai did that to Hitomi. She would get so much farther with her.

“Roll down the window Yocchan.”

There was no affection in her voice, but both Maki and Hitomi knew that whatever Ai wanted wasn’t pretty.

“No thanks. I like this side of the window better,” Hitomi said, smiling sweetly.

“Then get out of the car.”

The smile wiped itself from her lips as she sighed, and slowly slid out of her side of the car. The two stared at each other for a moment, but then, suddenly, Ai started slapping at Hitomi, and Hitomi tried blocking her for a few moments.

“Hey! HEY!”

Then they started slapping at each other, only getting at hands and air.

“YOU’RE LATE FOR WORK!”

“IT’S MY DAY OFF!”

Ai stopped, just like that, right there.

“Oh, okay!”

She grinned, as Hitomi gave her a strange look.

“Well, it’s good you’re here. I need your help.”
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 6 Part 3 :: Grumpy Kitty)
Post by: JFC on June 19, 2007, 01:28:38 AM
Quote
I already stated two someones die
:OMG: EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!

When did you say this again?


Quote
Sayumi hugged Miyabi.

“I knew you wouldn’t think I was crazy!”

“… No, I can just read your mind…”

Blinking, Sayumi stared at her ‘newfound’ friend.

“Wha?!”
  :shock:  EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!


Quote
She needed to find out how Ai did that to Hitomi. She would get so much farther with her.
Did Aichan do something? If so, what? You never said what exactly happened.


This new AichanxYossi development doesn't make sense. :dunno:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 6 Part 3 :: Grumpy Kitty)
Post by: whytphyre on June 19, 2007, 02:36:27 AM
There was a comment I made earlier about people dying... in one of the early chapters.

And uhm... that AichanxYossie thing is not what you think. There was at one point where I had read a little something about what happens to people in Momusu when they're late... and Hitomi said Aichan gets very scary.

I just took it one step further is all. This is just Ai exhibiting some sort of power over Hitomi... and Maki wants to know how she does it, 'cause clearly Maki has no control over this woman ^^

I'll try to stop being confusing I swear!
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 6 Part 3 :: Grumpy Kitty)
Post by: Kreuz_Asakura on June 19, 2007, 02:49:21 AM
Ohhhh Good your explain that last part   :mon thumb:
Good chap!!!!
New powers!!!!   Which would be Miki's power?   :dunno:

Ai-chan sure she's scary if Yossie say something like that hahah :sweat:

Gotchan you should take notes!!!! :mon misch:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 6 Part 3 :: Grumpy Kitty)
Post by: Sukoshi on June 19, 2007, 03:51:06 AM
lol the grumpy kitty is pretty darn cool.  I thought she would have a bone to pick with Yossie because of what happened to Gaki-san but I guess I'll just have to wait and see what Ai chan is really up to...and you would think after all this time Yossie would have contacted someone!
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 6 Part 3 :: Grumpy Kitty)
Post by: rndmnwierd on June 19, 2007, 09:37:50 PM
Ai-chan!  XD
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 6 Part 3 :: Grumpy Kitty)
Post by: Seagull on June 20, 2007, 01:41:50 PM
I just read all the chapters and OMG I loved it. It was kinda hard too get all the separate stories togheter but I think Im starting to get a hang of it.
JunJun and Eri sooo cute  :wub: I want to have more JunJun\Eri moments later  :mon inluv:
YoMaki is pure love as always   :luvluv1:
Miki is just Miki   :mon lovelaff:
Sayu evil? No way, but I like the thougt of it :kekeke:
This fan fic is just great and I hope it gets even better later  :mon inluv: :mon thumb:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 7 :: Without Further Ado)
Post by: whytphyre on June 26, 2007, 10:35:24 PM
Ya know what? I really don't think this is my best chapter ever. I coulda done better, but I felt I'd be leaving you in the dust for another week if I had, and that just wouldn't be fair to you guys. It's a kinda short chapter... but we're getting into some hefty stuff now.

Fluff coming up next chapter! And maybe another character!


Chapter 7 :: Without Further Ado

“Kamei-san…”

“We’ve known each other a little longer… you can call me something else if you want to…”

“… Sorry about … uhm… fire…”

She wasn’t entirely sure how Junjun managed to make the rice cooker burst into flames, but she did, and then she proceeded to blame the rice cooker for being too different from her own, and the guilt she would have felt for waking Eri up.

“It’s okay.”

Granted, Eri was so not staying angry at the girl for too long. Whenever she felt guilt, she got the big panda eyes and did that manipulating thing like Sayumi did.

Which was another thing. Sayumi hadn’t called at all today. One would think that if they were best friends in the whole entire world, that she would call at least once to check up on her best friend, right?

“So… Mother… not angry?”

Her mother had come in and demanded they leave, and find somewhere to eat, as opposed to burning the complex down. Fine by Eri, she liked her home intact.

“She gets it. Don’t worry.”

Not that Eri had the slightest idea in the world if her mother actually was going to be happy with Junjun after that, but that was not the point at all.

“Let’s just get something to eat and forget about it all, okay?”

Junjun smiled.

“Okay Kamei-san.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

They were trotting behind dear Ai, who still seemed slightly pissed off, and trying to keep quiet. Maki was still frazzled by having to heal Risa, though having that fail slightly was never fun, and Hitomi was far from any different.

But that was because she was empathic.

They were holding hands as they turned the corner down the hallway, and Hitomi finally decided to speak.

“So where’re we going?”

“Sayumin needs to know you aren’t dead. It’s the only way she can assemble words properly…”

There was a short silence.

“Oh.”

“She said she wished you dead or something stupid like that. That’s not true, is it Yocchan?”

Another silence. Maki glanced over at Hitomi and held her hand protectively. It was an adorable moment for the two of them, if Hitomi didn’t look like she was about to turn and run the other way.

“… Of course not,” Hitomi said, as if shrugging a horrible event off, “Why would Sayumin of all people…”

Before she could finish, they rounded the corner into the lounge, where Miyabi and Sayumi sat, Sayumi sitting on one end of the couch staring wide eyed at Miyabi.

Hitomi let out a shrill cry and clung to Maki, who let out a cry of surprise.

“Yocchan!?”

Ai looked rather confused, but didn’t say anything for a few moments. Both Sayumi and Miyabi stared in Hitomi’s direction, the former of the two letting out a squeak.

“Yocchan! You’re okay!”

Sayumi shot up, running towards her former leader, who started to run away from the girl.

Well, it was more like running in circles around Maki, and Sayumi was just silly enough to follow suite.

Maki snorted. Ai stared stupidly for a moment. Miyabi was not sure what to do with the whole situation, but all the same, she pretty much stayed back.

“Stay away!” Hitomi cried out, before suddenly losing feeling in her left leg.

As she fell, Maki was certain that Hitomi was going to lose a brain cell or five, along with a few thousand blood cells.

It was the paranoia talking, but she let out a shrill cry, as Hitomi hit the ground, hard.

“YOCCHAN!”

Sayumi was the first to really react after that, as she plopped down next to the older woman, thinking similarly to Maki.

“Yocchan… please be alright. I don’t wanna hurt you. I didn’t mean to call the demon upon you! I just… it just…”

Hitomi let out a grunt, as she lifted herself into a sitting a position, lightly massaging her leg.

“I don’t wanna hear it anymore, alright. Your pigtails just spook me.”

After another moment, Sayumi gave Hitomi a large, Usa-chan hug, to which the elder woman returned, though not as big or emotional.

Ai stared at the scene for a moment.

“Yocchan… did you want us to get you something for that leg?”

There was a small moment where the hugging continued, before Hitomi broke from it and stared down at the leg for a moment.

“… Oh god…”

Maki and Hitomi had a simultaneous freak out moment, where Maki was immediately on the floor next to the elder woman, furiously trying to fix the problem. It seemed that her wound opened up again, leaving a large gash around the length of a notebook and the width of a key head bleeding in it’s place. If she could fix Risa, she could fix Hitomi’s silly wound, right?

“Why isn’t it getting better?”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“Koharu… you hungry now?”

Reina smiled at the girl, who was staring at the food, almost longingly. She stared at her senpai for a moment before shaking her head.

“It’s just a few sandwiches Koharu… they won’t hurt you…”

The younger girl held onto Reina as tight as she could, as if losing the girl was going to mean losing her life.

“Koharu, it’s okay,” Reina whispered, “I won’t let anything happen to you, okay?”

She didn’t know if she could to be honest. Though quite aware that she had some sort of ability (to which Tsunku never told her about, she found out from Hitomi), but she didn’t know what it was, or what she could do.

If she could blow up bad guys, that would have been nice. However, she wasn’t sure that was the best idea. Then there was the possibility of her power being completely useless.

Koharu seemed to be paranoid about it too, however inadvertently.

“Koharu, just take your mind off of whatever it is that’s bothering you…” the elder girl whispered. Koharu shook her head.

“No… no the … no…” she muttered. Thinking a moment, Reina blinked, and held Koharu close.

“Alright… then I’ll just have to take it off your mind for you… And I know exactly how to do that…”

She reached into her nearby bag with her free hand and pulled out a small, round yo-yo, with little cats all over it’s light purple surface.

“Yocchan told me that this always worked when she was nervous. She’s got one too… maybe when this all settles down we can go yo-yo sho-…Koharu?”

The younger girl hid her face and started letting out squeals, hoping the object would go away. Reina blinked.

“Koharu, are you okay?”

“No more! Make it go away!” the younger girl shouted angrily. Staring at the girl for a moment, Reina was unsure of what to do, but the sudden burning sensation in her hand interrupted her thoughts.

“Ow… OW OW!” she shrieked, dropping the now flaming yo-yo, “Ohmigod, how do I put that out?!”

Koharu stared at it for a moment, head cocked to one side, in a much more calm manner than she mustered ever before.

“That’ll make it go away…”
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 7 :: Without Further Ado)
Post by: glcorps2002 on June 27, 2007, 12:33:59 AM
Little firestarter Koha...
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 7 :: Without Further Ado)
Post by: JFC on June 27, 2007, 06:05:29 AM
Quote
“Kamei-san…”

“We’ve known each other a little longer… you can call me something else if you want to…”

“… Sorry about … uhm… fire…”

She wasn’t entirely sure how Junjun managed to make the rice cooker burst into flames, but she did, and then she proceeded to blame the rice cooker for being too different from her own, and the guilt she would have felt for waking Eri up.
How the hell...???  :?


Quote
“So where’re we going?”

“Sayumin needs to know you aren’t dead. It’s the only way she can assemble words properly…”

There was a short silence.

“Oh.”
Yossi's reaction here = :dunno:


Quote
“She said she wished you dead or something stupid like that. That’s not true, is it Yocchan?”

Another silence. Maki glanced over at Hitomi and held her hand protectively. It was an adorable moment for the two of them, if Hitomi didn’t look like she was about to turn and run the other way.
Could it be that the mystery person that attacked Yossi at the beginning was not actually a "person" at all, but instead some manifestation that was created to fulfill Sayu's mistaken "wish"? :o


Quote
“Yocchan! You’re okay!”

Sayumi shot up, running towards her former leader, who started to run away from the girl.

Well, it was more like running in circles around Maki, and Sayumi was just silly enough to follow suite.
Picturing this...it's just so cute and funny! :lol:

Sayu =  :wriggly:
Yossi =  :OMG:
Maki, Aichan =   :mon huh:
Miyabi =  :mon suspect:


Quote
“… Oh god…”

Maki and Hitomi had a simultaneous freak out moment, where Maki was immediately on the floor next to the elder woman, furiously trying to fix the problem. It seemed that her wound opened up again, leaving a large gash around the length of a notebook and the width of a key head bleeding in it’s place. If she could fix Risa, she could fix Hitomi’s silly wound, right?

“Why isn’t it getting better?”
ONOES! GET BETTER YOU STUPID WOUND!  :scolding:


Quote
“Koharu… you hungry now?”

Reina smiled at the girl, who was staring at the food, almost longingly. She stared at her senpai for a moment before shaking her head.

“It’s just a few sandwiches Koharu… they won’t hurt you…”

The younger girl held onto Reina as tight as she could, as if losing the girl was going to mean losing her life.
AWWWWWWWWWWWW!  :mon cute:


Quote
She reached into her nearby bag with her free hand and pulled out a small, round yo-yo, with little cats all over it’s light purple surface.

“Yocchan told me that this always worked when she was nervous. She’s got one too… maybe when this all settles down we can go yo-yo sho-…Koharu?”

The younger girl hid her face and started letting out squeals, hoping the object would go away. Reina blinked.

“Koharu, are you okay?”

“No more! Make it go away!” the younger girl shouted angrily. Staring at the girl for a moment, Reina was unsure of what to do, but the sudden burning sensation in her hand interrupted her thoughts.

“Ow… OW OW!” she shrieked, dropping the now flaming yo-yo, “Ohmigod, how do I put that out?!”

Koharu stared at it for a moment, head cocked to one side, in a much more calm manner than she mustered ever before.

“That’ll make it go away…”
Okay, so Koharu's still really spooked...and for some reason she's freaked out by yo-yos and/or images of little cats.

AND on top of that...she apparently can set things on fire with her mind. :O
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 7 :: Without Further Ado)
Post by: rndmnwierd on June 27, 2007, 05:13:03 PM
Firestarter, lol. Just what Koharu needs to be.
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 7 :: Without Further Ado)
Post by: Kreuz_Asakura on June 28, 2007, 02:06:59 AM
Yay yay yay!!!
Maki-chan please save Yossie  :OMG: :OMG:

Koharu  :shock: :shock:

who was the new character?  :mon huh:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 7 :: Without Further Ado)
Post by: C60533 on June 28, 2007, 03:30:24 AM
You gave Koharu the power to start fires. Well that will keep things from getting too dull. And JunJun made the rice cooker burst into flames? How? Just wondering cause I'm afraid I might do that one day....

Yossie's wound hasn't healed yet? :banghead:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 8 :: As the World Turns)
Post by: whytphyre on July 01, 2007, 06:01:13 PM
So I forgot the new character. That's alright, it works out, she's here. Anyways... there is a huge blatant hint throughout the WHOLE of the story of who dies. I won't tell you what it is, 'cause then you might find out who, and you'll yell at me to not.

Not that I'll listen, but the point still stands.

Much drama in this chapter.

Also, I've decided to open up my old Nanakusa roleplay (to which this story is based off of), so for those interested, please check it out.

Links R Us (http://z8.invisionfree.com/Nanakusa/index.php?act=idx)

Now for the stopping of a plugging and onto the storying.


Chapter 8 :: As the World Turns

Tears on her shoulder.

Blood on her pants.

Worry, fear, failure, and sadness on her mind.

Hitomi was unsure how to deal with the intense amount of emotions bombarding her brain.

Maki was leaning on her shoulder as they sat there, on the floor, crying her heart out over the wound she still could not heal. However, the elder of the two was still phased by it, and wasn’t sure how to deal with Maki’s sudden breakdown at all.

“What’s… going on?” Miyabi finally asked from where she was sitting. She had gone unnoticed for too long.

“… I’m not sure,” Sayumi replied. Ai blinked at the both of them and, after crossing her arms against her chest, she sighed.

“First Gaki… and now this… I’m such a failure…”

“No you aren’t.”

Hitomi had her arms around Maki now, rubbing the younger woman’s back as soothingly as she possibly could.

“Don’t worry about it… I’m fine… it’s just a little leg wound…”

Which was far from the case. There was no way she was going to be able to get up and walk around without some attention to the wound itself, and even if she started to walk around, it would be limping followed by another meeting with Mr. Floor.

And Mr. Floor liked to hurt people today.

“What about Gaki-chan?”

Ai’s voice shot through their moment, and Hitomi gave the fifth gen girl a solemn look. The girl only became more persistant.

“What’s wrong with Gaki-chan?”

Neither of the women answered right out, until Maki managed to calm down enough to stand up and give Ai a huge hug as well.

“We aren’t sure exactly,” Hitomi replied, “… She’s… we don’t know…”

And it was the truth. Neither of them did know what exactly was going on with Risa, beyond that she was heading for a hospital right now.

“Ai! Hitomi-chan, what’re you doing on the floor! You don’t belong there!”

Through the awkward silence, Hitomi felt a pair of arms wrap themselves around her midsection and try to pull her upwards.

“Let go,” she commanded, plain and simple as that.

“But Hitomi-chan, you’re not supposed to be on the floor…”

“Let go Rika.”

After a moment, Rika still hadn’t gone anywhere, but she stopped pulling, and had her chin on Hitomi’s shoulder.

“Hitomi-chan… you sound so grumpy! Maybe we need some closet time!”

“No. Let go.”

Hitomi was rather stern, and stubborn, with what she wanted Rika to do. The girl may have tried to be more mature, but she was still cute little Charmy in Hitomi’s eyes.

Maybe it was because Hitomi was the one who didn’t want to grow up.

“But Yocchaaaaan…”

“Enough!”

After a gentle elbow in the stomach, Rika finally relented, and plopped down on the floor, just behind Hitomi, before realizing the woman had been staring at Maki for much too long.

Well, she could not actually see it, but she knew it was happening. It was just Charmy Intuition talking.

“Hitomi-chan… I thought we had a date today,” she said. Letting out an angered noise, Hitomi looked over at Rika and glared.

“We don’t. It was going to be a nice outing, and it was going to have nothing to do with kissing or anything beyond maybe a hand hold. You know better than that… Now would you stop, we’re having a little crisis.”

By this time, Maki was composed enough to comfort Ai, who was in a hysterical fit, just thinking about her friend’s predicament. The elder woman looked over at the two and raised an eyebrow.

“What’s going on?” she asked. Rika was the first to chime in.

“Hitomi’s cheating on me with you.”

The look on Hitomi’s face was a mixture of anger, horror, and more anger, but Maki was far from amused.

“Oh?”

Everything seemed to be pushed aside for a moment. Even the ignored Sayumi and Miyabi seemed to get what was going on, as they hid behind the couch and made sure they were out of the line of fire.

“Hitomi… what’s she talking about?” Maki asked. Staring over at the soloist, Hitomi kept from peeing her pants.

She went straight past the Miki glare, over Ai’s ‘You’d better as hell not be late’ aura, and right into something not even Hitomi could manage.

She went into jealous girlfriend mode.

And neither were really sure they were together.

“Uhm… Maki, if you’d calm down, I’d be more than willing to tell you what’s going on…”

“I already told her…” Rika said, angrily, persistently, and rather stupidly at that. Both Hitomi and Maki glared.

“SHUT UP!” Hitomi shouted angrily, “I’ve had enough of you doing that!”

Rika let out a noise, and went to join Sayumi, Miyabi, and now Ai behind the couch, the latter of the three was still in tears of sort, but they were forgone.

She liked her life.

“DON’T TELL HER TO SHUT UP!” Maki grunted, “She didn’t do anything! You’re the one who messed up!”

“Oh for god’s sake… WOULD YOU LET ME EXPLAIN!?” Hitomi replied, “Here I am, sitting on the floor, bleeding out of my leg, and all you can do is yell at me for a relationship I don’t have?!”

There was a small silence. Rika went to say something, but decided against it. Maki stared incredulously at Hitomi.

“What do you mean… a relationship you don’t have? Are you saying Rika’s lying?”

“No… I told you, let me explain. It’s a lot more complicated than she makes it out to be…”

“Oh?”

“Well… okay sorda not… but I’m not cheating on anyone and I’ve only got eyes for you…”

“Right now.”

”Would you let me finish?”

“No. I’m tired of humoring you to get answers out of you…”

“… Fine. Then I won’t answer…”

There was a small silence, before Maki sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Brat.”

“Yes I am.”

“Fine. You can bleed to death then.”

At that moment, Rika launched over the couch and plopped down next to Hitomi, hand on her leg. After a few moments of Hitomi trying to tell her ‘no,’ Rika removed her hand and smiled.

“All better.”

Indeed, there was no leg wound. There wasn’t even a scar left behind. It was perfect.

Maki was furious.

“Do you mean you have healing powers too!? WHY DON’T YOU PEOPLE TELL ME THESE THINGS BEFORE!?”

Hitomi rolled her eyes and stood up.

“Rika’s had more time to test her powers out… Now can we talk about this?”

Maki snorted, and looked away.

“No.”

Hitomi looked down.

“… Fine.”

After another moment or so of silence, Hitomi went on.

“Look… I’ve got to sort some things out… so I’m gonna go talk to Tsunku… and then I’m gonna get outta here for awhile… see what’s going on with the others… if you wanna talk to me before I leave… then… I’m more than willing…”

When she got no response out of Maki, she let out a small, depressed sigh, and walked off.

The silence that followed was all but happy.

“… Uhm…”

Rika was the first to finally speak up, as she innocently gave Maki the ‘Don’t hurt me I’m cute’ eyes and tried to talk to her.

“She really likes you, you know that right?”

Maki gave the girl a look.

“She coulda fooled me…”

“She’s stupid with her feelings. She can help anyone else and their feelings out no problem… but when it comes to her own emotions, she can’t do anything right. She was like that with everyone. It’s just the way she is…”

“Why’re you defending her if she cheated on you?”

“Because she didn’t. She wasn’t lying, It’s … it’s just the term I use… when I’m annoyed with her… because she doesn’t spend enough time with the people who’ll just sit and talk with her…”

“I’ll sit and talk with her…”

“I know that. She knows that, but she’s trying to develop something past just sitting and talking with you… I dunno, I guess it’s just me being my selfish self, but she was like that a lot. She tried with Aya and Miki, and they didn’t work out… Mako didn’t work out either, but Mako was afraid enough to get out of that relationship…”

“Rika…”

“Hmm?”

“Was she ever with you?”

“Oh yeah. A long time ago. Before Mako, but after Aya. It was a long one… I graduated and she didn’t talk to me the same since… it was like we broke up there… So we didn’t like… formally break up, but we did just stop. Seeing each other like that I mean. I guess she was bitter at me for leaving the way I did.”

Rika smiled, a little half heartedly.

“To be honest, I think it was good we broke up. She seemed happier after that… I don’t think I make a very good girlfriend… I’m too needy.”

“Wouldn’t that make you the perfect girlfriend?”

“Not for Hitomi-chan. Hitomi-chan’s needier.”

They could agree on that much.

“… Are you going to talk to her before she leaves?”

“I don’t think so… I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship… not right now…”

“She might not come back…”

Maki raised her brow at the girl.

“What?”

“… A long time ago… like, right after you graduated… Kaorin got all weird on us… like… you know how she spaces out? Yeah… she’s supposed to be a… uhm.. seer. I think that’s what Hitomi-chan called it. She’s one of those. Anyways… after you graduated, Kaorin started rambling on about a prophecy or something… and how in the seventh year of the 21rst, the graduating leader was going to die. Or something like that. We all got paranoid… for about two minutes, because then Kaorin was like ‘ah hah, I’m just joking!’”

Another silence.

“But I was always afraid about it in the back of my mind… If I knew Hitomi was going to be a leader, I would have been more wary of it back then too… Now I’m just frightened at the thought of her dying… She means a lot… to everyone…”

Maki stared at the girl a moment.

“And… did she know this? She knows this, right?”

After a moment of silence, Rika looked down.

“… Right?!”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

The three had snuck away after Hitomi left, the awkwardness of the situation getting the best of them. Miyabi stared at her two elders a moment before finally saying something.

“What’s… going on?”

Sayumi smiled at Miyabi.

“Not really sure. Haven’t had this much drama since the time Reina got caught with a boy.”

Ai snorted.

“Gaki’s in the hospital.”

The other two stared innocently at Ai as she stared back at them.

“And we’re gonna figure out who’s responsible.”
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 8 :: As the World Turns)
Post by: Kreuz_Asakura on July 01, 2007, 06:55:44 PM
 :OMG: :OMG: :OMG: :OMG:
This chap is one of my favorites!!!

 :shock: :shock:
Rika can heal people?!!!  poor Maki...
Poor Yossie!!!   :mon hanky: :mon hanky:  Please, Maki-chan you have to talk with her...
Maki-chan don't let her go!!! :pleeease:

Ai-chan you have to find out who's the responsable of hurt Mame-chan
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 9 :: First Kiss)
Post by: whytphyre on July 02, 2007, 06:21:58 PM
I got overzealous. So here's Chapter 9. I hope this one solves a very important question.

*cackle*


Chapter 9 :: First Kiss

She was heading back to the building. It was only a straight line from here to there. No one would get in the way, right?

Just Aya, as usual.

“Ayaya!” she said, happy, sicky sweet cheer in her voice, “How’re you doing?”

A hug, a smile, a small kiss on the cheek. Make the fanboys swoon and the fangirls giggle.

Aya smiled weakly at Miki as they stood there, across the street from the FMA building. They were both heading the same direction, so why did they have to stop? They could have gone further.

“Fine… can… we get into the building? It’s kinda warm out…”

Miki shrugged and nodded, taking Aya’s arm and leading her across the street.

“I never get to talk to you anymore Ayaya! I miss you so much…”

Aya wasn’t sure whether to take this as a joke or not… ever since the scandal blew this morning, she was furious with Miki.

But she couldn’t bring herself to say so.

“Miki… can we talk about this later? I have to … get to Tsunku…”

“No… You can talk to him later…”

“This is kinda important…”

“And I’m not?”

They stopped, just in front of the building. Aya had no idea how to answer that question.

“You are… I just… need to talk to him first.”

“… I see…”

Removing her hand from Aya’s arm, Miki smiled.

“Alright. I still wanna talk though… I’ll be… well, in there… when you’re done… It’s not like you have to walk that far.”

Aya nodded curtly.

“Of course Mikitty. Of course.”

Miki watched as Aya walked off, and kicked the ground.

“God what’s wrong with me…”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Why.

Why did she have to make things so damn difficult for the both of us? Why couldn’t she just let me explain it to her?

And why was I leaking from my eyes like a freaking fountain?

“Stupid. She’s so… stupid…”

Every time I kicked the wall in front of me, I had to let out some expletive or something. Mainly because it hurt.

“She’s… so damn… stupid…”

I slumped to the floor. How was I supposed to go on like this, breaking down everytime something like this happened?

Makoto got out of our relationship like it was nothing. Miki and Aya were blindsided by the breakup…

And then there was Rika. I’ll never get over her leaving like that.

But I thought Maki was going to be different. She didn’t seem like the type to anger easily. She seemed more like the type to shrug off that I slept around a bit when I was bored and just needed some damn cuddles. I liked cuddles.

She obviously didn’t. She was a cold-hearted ice queen, despite the fact that she was only looking out for my well being this morning.

After a few more shameful minutes of sobbing over a girl I never really got, I felt a cheek on my shoulder. Rika did that when she wanted to comfort me, or Kuwagata did that when she was depressed.

Not a lot of other people did it, unless they were Abe, wanting some attention or something stupid like that.

“Nee, why’re you so sad?”

My sobbing stopped, unable to place a name with the voice. I blinked, and glanced down.

Aya?

She hadn’t done that in ages.

“You’re never sad… Kabu-chan.”
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 9 :: First Kiss)
Post by: Kreuz_Asakura on July 02, 2007, 06:49:19 PM
 :OMG: :OMG: :OMG: :OMG: :OMG: :OMG:
So...Aya was?...or maybe she...
 :mon ko: :mon ko: :mon ko:
I really need think about this 
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 9 :: First Kiss)
Post by: ~Psychotic~o_o~ on July 04, 2007, 11:13:05 AM
haven't commented for a long time  :kneelbow: well first off...oooo drama and second of all she's...aya...ahhh :dizzy:... don't worry it'll be all answered soon enough..*hides in thinking corner* :mon POd:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 9 :: First Kiss)
Post by: JFC on July 05, 2007, 02:35:57 PM
Chapter 8 :: As the World Turns
Quote
“First Gaki… and now this… I’m such a failure…”

“No you aren’t.”

Hitomi had her arms around Maki now, rubbing the younger woman’s back as soothingly as she possibly could.

“Don’t worry about it… I’m fine… it’s just a little leg wound…”
Maki just needs more practice at this. She can't expect to be perfect the first day, after all.


Quote
“What about Gaki-chan?”

Ai’s voice shot through their moment, and Hitomi gave the fifth gen girl a solemn look. The girl only became more persistant.

“What’s wrong with Gaki-chan?”
Uh-oh.  :O


Quote
Rika still hadn’t gone anywhere, but she stopped pulling, and had her chin on Hitomi’s shoulder.

“Hitomi-chan… you sound so grumpy! Maybe we need some closet time!”
Closet time? Sweeeeeeeeeeeet.  O0


Quote
By this time, Maki was composed enough to comfort Ai, who was in a hysterical fit, just thinking about her friend’s predicament. The elder woman looked over at the two and raised an eyebrow.

“What’s going on?” she asked. Rika was the first to chime in.

“Hitomi’s cheating on me with you.”

The look on Hitomi’s face was a mixture of anger, horror, and more anger, but Maki was far from amused.

“Oh?”
All of a sudden I get the feeling of being part of the audience for the Jerry Springer show. :P


Quote
Everything seemed to be pushed aside for a moment. Even the ignored Sayumi and Miyabi seemed to get what was going on, as they hid behind the couch and made sure they were out of the line of fire.
I'd say that's a smart move.


Quote
“Hitomi… what’s she talking about?” Maki asked. Staring over at the soloist, Hitomi kept from peeing her pants.

She went straight past the Miki glare, over Ai’s ‘You’d better as hell not be late’ aura, and right into something not even Hitomi could manage.

She went into jealous girlfriend mode.
Rika =  :gyaaah:
Yossi =  :sweat:
Maki =  :grr:
Aichan =  :frustrated: (about Risa)
Sayu & Miyabi =  :scared: :dunno:


Quote
“Oh for god’s sake… WOULD YOU LET ME EXPLAIN!?” Hitomi replied, “Here I am, sitting on the floor, bleeding out of my leg, and all you can do is yell at me for a relationship I don’t have?!”

There was a small silence. Rika went to say something, but decided against it. Maki stared incredulously at Hitomi.

“What do you mean… a relationship you don’t have? Are you saying Rika’s lying?”

“No… I told you, let me explain. It’s a lot more complicated than she makes it out to be…”

“Oh?”

“Well… okay sorda not… but I’m not cheating on anyone and I’ve only got eyes for you…”
Hmmmm...this is getting almost soap-opera-ish.

JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! JERRY! :rockon:


Quote
There was a small silence, before Maki sighed and rolled her eyes.

“Brat.”

“Yes I am.”

“Fine. You can bleed to death then.”
Maki can't really mean that, can she? I mean, this is just her frustration at not having been able to heal her properly the first time, right?


Quote
At that moment, Rika launched over the couch and plopped down next to Hitomi, hand on her leg. After a few moments of Hitomi trying to tell her ‘no,’ Rika removed her hand and smiled.

“All better.”

Indeed, there was no leg wound. There wasn’t even a scar left behind. It was perfect.

Maki was furious.

“Do you mean you have healing powers too!? WHY DON’T YOU PEOPLE TELL ME THESE THINGS BEFORE!?”
EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH???  :OMG:


Quote
“Rika’s had more time to test her powers out… Now can we talk about this?”

Maki snorted, and looked away.

“No.”
Makes sense when you think about it. Maki must really hate being out of the loop like this. At this point she probably wishes that things could go back to the way they were before she found out that everyone (herself included) had these powers.


Quote
Rika was the first to finally speak up, as she innocently gave Maki the ‘Don’t hurt me I’m cute’ eyes and tried to talk to her.

“She really likes you, you know that right?”

...

“She’s stupid with her feelings. She can help anyone else and their feelings out no problem… but when it comes to her own emotions, she can’t do anything right. She was like that with everyone. It’s just the way she is…”
Seems to be that way for a lot of people. They can help other people with their problems, but for some reason, they're unable to do the same thing for themselves.  More often than not, they keep that little bit secret because they feel ashamed/embarrassed about it.


Quote
“Why’re you defending her if she cheated on you?”

“Because she didn’t. She wasn’t lying, It’s … it’s just the term I use… when I’m annoyed with her… because she doesn’t spend enough time with the people who’ll just sit and talk with her…”

“I’ll sit and talk with her…”

“I know that. She knows that, but she’s trying to develop something past just sitting and talking with you… I dunno, I guess it’s just me being my selfish self, but she was like that a lot. She tried with Aya and Miki, and they didn’t work out… Mako didn’t work out either, but Mako was afraid enough to get out of that relationship…”
Man, Rika needs to find a way to phrase her thoughts better. They can give people (like Maki) the wrong idea. :P

Ok, Mako I understand, Miki I understand...but Aya too? That came a bit out of left field (even though there have been a couple of other fics here before that experimented with the notion of a "MatsuYoshi" thing).  :O


Quote
“Was she ever with you?”

“Oh yeah. A long time ago. Before Mako, but after Aya. It was a long one… I graduated and she didn’t talk to me the same since… it was like we broke up there… So we didn’t like… formally break up, but we did just stop. Seeing each other like that I mean. I guess she was bitter at me for leaving the way I did.”
Yossi was probably just upset that Rika wouldn't be there so much and was just having a weird time dealing with it. It was probably easier for her (in a strange way) to just act as if they had never been together in the first place than go through an actual breakup.


Quote
“To be honest, I think it was good we broke up. She seemed happier after that… I don’t think I make a very good girlfriend… I’m too needy.”

“Wouldn’t that make you the perfect girlfriend?”

“Not for Hitomi-chan. Hitomi-chan’s needier.”
Heh, better not let Yossi hear you say that. :D


Quote
“… Are you going to talk to her before she leaves?”

“I don’t think so… I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship… not right now…”

“She might not come back…”

Maki raised her brow at the girl.

“What?”
Wait, what?  :?


Quote
“… A long time ago… like, right after you graduated… Kaorin got all weird on us… like… you know how she spaces out? Yeah… she’s supposed to be a… uhm.. seer. I think that’s what Hitomi-chan called it. She’s one of those. Anyways… after you graduated, Kaorin started rambling on about a prophecy or something… and how in the seventh year of the 21rst, the graduating leader was going to die. Or something like that. We all got paranoid… for about two minutes, because then Kaorin was like ‘ah hah, I’m just joking!’”
The seventh year of the 21st? If that's a reference to this year (2007 is the 7th year of the 21st century), then Yossi's gonna...

...

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!  :frustrated:



Quote
The three had snuck away after Hitomi left, the awkwardness of the situation getting the best of them.
But they missed out on the juicy stuff. :hee:


Quote
“Not really sure. Haven’t had this much drama since the time Reina got caught with a boy.”
This a reference to those FRIDAY pics that were taken of her and her manager at the conbi store?


Quote
Ai snorted.

“Gaki’s in the hospital.”

The other two stared innocently at Ai as she stared back at them.

“And we’re gonna figure out who’s responsible.”
WOOO! Heroic payback-seeking Aichan is gonna fight for Risa's honour! :cool1:



Chapter 9 :: First Kiss
Quote
“Ayaya!” she said, happy, sicky sweet cheer in her voice, “How’re you doing?”

A hug, a smile, a small kiss on the cheek. Make the fanboys swoon and the fangirls giggle.
:nya:


Quote
“I never get to talk to you anymore Ayaya! I miss you so much…”

Aya wasn’t sure whether to take this as a joke or not… ever since the scandal blew this morning, she was furious with Miki.

But she couldn’t bring herself to say so.

“Miki… can we talk about this later? I have to … get to Tsunku…”
If I'm reading this right...it sounds like Aya and Miki aren't "together" in this universe.

WHY THE HELL ARE THEY NOT TOGETHER?!?!? WHY IS THERE NO GAM RABU-RABU!?!?!?  :mon whine:


Quote
I thought Maki was going to be different. She didn’t seem like the type to anger easily. She seemed more like the type to shrug off that I slept around a bit
The "sleeping around a bit" isn't exactly a smart/good thing to do if you're in a relationship (or trying to get into a relationship) with someone.


Quote
I liked cuddles.

She obviously didn’t. She was a cold-hearted ice queen, despite the fact that she was only looking out for my well being this morning.
Holy crap Yossi, did you ever think of trying to initiate the cuddles instead of waiting for someone else to?  :banghead:


Quote
After a few more shameful minutes of sobbing over a girl I never really got, I felt a cheek on my shoulder. Rika did that when she wanted to comfort me, or Kuwagata did that when she was depressed.

Not a lot of other people did it, unless they were Abe, wanting some attention or something stupid like that.

“Nee, why’re you so sad?”

My sobbing stopped, unable to place a name with the voice. I blinked, and glanced down.

Aya?

She hadn’t done that in ages.

“You’re never sad… Kabu-chan.”
EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!!!
 :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

Aya's just there trying to be a good friend, right? Aya still really is all rabu-rabu for Miki-sama, right?  :mon cute:

Oh shit, anyone wanna bet that Maki's gonna walk by right now, looking for Yossi and she's gonna see this scene? She'll FLIP!!!  :dizzy:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 9 :: First Kiss)
Post by: Kreuz_Asakura on July 05, 2007, 05:55:29 PM
Quote
After a few more shameful minutes of sobbing over a girl I never really got, I felt a cheek on my shoulder. Rika did that when she wanted to comfort me, or Kuwagata did that when she was depressed.

Not a lot of other people did it, unless they were Abe, wanting some attention or something stupid like that.

“Nee, why’re you so sad?”

My sobbing stopped, unable to place a name with the voice. I blinked, and glanced down.

Aya?

She hadn’t done that in ages.

“You’re never sad… Kabu-chan.”
EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~!!!
 :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:

Aya's just there trying to be a good friend, right? Aya still really is all rabu-rabu for Miki-sama, right?  :mon cute:

Oh shit, anyone wanna bet that Maki's gonna walk by right now, looking for Yossi and she's gonna see this scene? She'll FLIP!!!  :dizzy:

I was thinking the same too...and it would be more interesting if Miki come with her...  :shocked:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 9 :: First Kiss)
Post by: whytphyre on July 08, 2007, 02:52:48 PM
No, no chapter yet. I wanna reply to the comments. Ya'll are too much sometime.

I do have Chapter 10 in my notebook though. Or at least half of it. You'll get to see more develop between Aya and Yossi, and you'll see why they're like that.

However... I must say, I didn't expect this response... the GAM love thing yeah... (I'm personally not a fan myself, and I don't write a lot of things that I'm not a fan of... so if you see it it's 'cause I figured 'why not'.) the AyaYossi thing however... I thought they were more common. My bad ^^

But that's a more important part of the story there.

Anyways... There's a few pairings wandering and ricocheting about... and if my spoiler rantee can't spot them (Dear FIM-chan) then I guess I'll either keep you in suspense or hope you all saw it from the beginning.

Whatever the case, Maki's not going to catch Yossie and Aya, there will be a kiss, and there will be more Jerry Springer like drama.

When I get to it.
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 10 :: Game Plan)
Post by: whytphyre on July 16, 2007, 05:12:07 AM
So I figured it out. It seems a wee lame now, but I didn't wanna explain too much without killing the whole story. There'll be a prequel on Hitomi and Aya's relationship... it'll explain this a lot more.

Chapter 10 :: Game Plan

“There’s no strawberry pocky?”

This seemed to puzzle Eri as she stood behind the counter, eyeing the cashier as nervously as he was her. Behind her, was a police officer, stationed next to the register counter, keeping a watchful eye on them both.

“Did they run out of flavoring at the factory?”

“No, someone came in and bought it all Kamei-san.”

Another puzzling thought.

“Aww… alright.”

Now Junjun wouldn’t be able to taste anything good in life. All the good pocky was gone.

“Gomen Kamei-san!”

“It’s not your fault.”

Eri grinned at the man, but went back to where Junjun was, eyeing the other kinds of pocky she could get lost in.

“No strawberry,” Eri said, rather dejectly. Her older friend shrugged, then grinned and waved cheerily at the police man. He curtly nodded, and added a rather tight smile in her direction.

“Kawaii!”

At this, Eri let out a noise, and smacked a hand over Junjun’s mouth.

“Don’t say things like that!” she hissed, “FRIDAY could be anywhere!”

Junjun stared at her friend, shrugged, and nodded, before picking up some green tea pocky.

Eri removed her hand and sighed.

“Junjun, I swear….”

“Don’t do that! That is bad for public image!”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
“What did you do to her?”

“Such an angry question Kabu-chan.”

Hitomi had her hands on Aya’s shoulders, and was giving her a rather pissed off glare.

Aya just grinned right back.

“Saki, give her back.”

“I don’t get an innocent, ‘I missed you’? Kabu-chan, I’m hurt.”

“Go to hell.”

The smile was quickly wiped from the younger woman’s lips, and replaced with a vile glare.

“That was uncalled for. You didn’t get that earlier, and you aren’t getting it now.”

Hitomi snorted.

“I guess that’s expected though,” Saki continued, “Ever since I took it all away from you, you’ve been all grumpy to me and Momo…”

“Just you. Aya didn’t do anything wrong…”

“Momo still loves you you know…”

The awkward silence that followed provoked a response somewhere within Aya’s conflicting minds, and soon enough, Hitomi soon found a pair of lips colliding with her own.

She froze, unsure of what to do. Part of her wanted to humor the woman in front of her, and do whatever it was she wanted.

That was her lonely, desperate side talking.

A bigger part of her, her ‘save my life damnit’ side, overpowered her first side, and pulled away from the kiss and held the other woman at arm’s length.

There was no devious grin on the younger woman’s face. Instead, there were tears, and a look of sad pain.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I never blamed you for any of it, Aya-chan…”

Hitomi smiled weakly, and gave Aya a small nudge on the cheek.

“Now toughen up. No one likes wimp idols…”

Aya nodded.

“Can you… stop her?”

“No… there’s only two people who can… and you know it…”

“But…”

“I know… we’ll do what we can, alright?”

“… Okay…”

There was an awkward silence.

“You like Gocchin, right?”

It wasn’t an Aya question, but it was out there, for the world to hear.

“How…”

“There was a picture on your nightstand… ya know… when Saki snuck in and everything…”

There was a small grin on Aya’s face, but it left as soon as it met Hitomi’s stern ‘excuse me?!’ glare.

“Uhm… yeah… well, that was why she got all … sadistic… but… uhm…”

“Yes, I do.”

Aya gave Hitomi an innocent look.

“Really? Like, you mean it this time? You aren’t gonna hurt her?”

Once more, a pause.

“… I don't know… but it’s different this time…”

“If you say so… Kabu-chan…”

The grin returned. Hitomi stared, and went right back to anger.

“GIVE HER BACK!”

“You’ll just have to make me… Or are you too wimpy to do that too? Kill her off… just to get me out of the way…”

“… She doesn’t deserve to be treated like this…”

“No… no, you do. You know it. Why not just take it from her then? Or are you too chicken to do that?”

And before Hitomi could say anything else.

“You gonna tell me to go to hell again? Go ahead. What good is it gonna do?”
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 10 :: Game Plan)
Post by: rndmnwierd on July 16, 2007, 02:33:46 PM
Saki and Momo? Why those names? There are already enough Saki's around to be confusing!
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 10 :: Game Plan)
Post by: stefy on July 16, 2007, 03:17:00 PM
Is this Saki like.. possessing Aya? Or Does Aya have like a split personality?

Awww Aya kissed Yossi!.. I don't know why but I have a soft spot for this duo, even tho their not close in real life. But then I hope Yossi and Maki would work things out soon..

Finally~... NICE FIC!
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 10 :: Game Plan)
Post by: inDeceit on July 16, 2007, 03:48:22 PM
Or it's a codename  :shocked: like in sukeban  :-X
... but I'm getting confused with the antagonists..

No matter! Great fic. I loved them Eri & JunJun scenes :D
and I agree with Eri on strawberry pocky  :cry:
Quote
Now Junjun wouldn’t be able to taste anything good in life. All the good pocky was gone.
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 10 :: Game Plan)
Post by: whytphyre on July 16, 2007, 10:12:48 PM
Sukeban Deka for Saki... because that was just too good to pass up.

And Momo to confuse the crap out of you all ^^ Split personalities... rule.
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 10 :: Game Plan)
Post by: JFC on July 17, 2007, 06:02:19 AM
Quote
“There’s no strawberry pocky?”

...

“Did they run out of flavoring at the factory?”

“No, someone came in and bought it all Kamei-san.”
Aw crap. :(



Quote
Eri grinned at the man, but went back to where Junjun was, eyeing the other kinds of pocky she could get lost in.

“No strawberry,” Eri said, rather dejectly. Her older friend shrugged, then grinned and waved cheerily at the police man. He curtly nodded, and added a rather tight smile in her direction.

“Kawaii!”

At this, Eri let out a noise, and smacked a hand over Junjun’s mouth.

“Don’t say things like that!” she hissed, “FRIDAY could be anywhere!”

Junjun stared at her friend, shrugged, and nodded, before picking up some green tea pocky.
I guess UFA must have forgotten to teach Junjun & Linlin about not getting FRIDAY'd yet, huh? :P


Quote
“Junjun, I swear….”

“Don’t do that! That is bad for public image!”
Awwwwww...Junjun! :lol:


Quote
“What did you do to her?”

“Such an angry question Kabu-chan.”

Hitomi had her hands on Aya’s shoulders, and was giving her a rather pissed off glare.

Aya just grinned right back.

“Saki, give her back.”

“I don’t get an innocent, ‘I missed you’? Kabu-chan, I’m hurt.”
This isn't really Aya, is it? It's Captain, and somehow she must have the ability to possess other peoples bodies. :o

Fuck, NOW it makes a lot more sense why Sayu was so concerned/scared for Yossi's safety earlier in the story. It could be that it WAS Sayu that attacked her, but it wasn't REALLY Sayu, it was Captain controlling/possessing Sayu's body.  This must mean that either Sayu has some latent ESP talents of her own, or a person who's possessed by Captain still retains a faint impression of being possessed.


Quote
“I guess that’s expected though,” Saki continued, “Ever since I took it all away from you, you’ve been all grumpy to me and Momo…”

“Just you. Aya didn’t do anything wrong…”

“Momo still loves you you know…”
So does this mean that the previous relationship between Yossi and Aya that Rika mentioned was never really between Yossi and Aya? That it was always Captain (and Momo-chan) that were secretly in control of Aya during that time? :dunno:


Quote
There was no devious grin on the younger woman’s face. Instead, there were tears, and a look of sad pain.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be. I never blamed you for any of it, Aya-chan…”

...

“You like Gocchin, right?”

It wasn’t an Aya question, but it was out there, for the world to hear.

“How…”

“There was a picture on your nightstand… ya know… when Saki snuck in and everything…”
Does Aya mean when Yossi was attacked? That would mean that it was Aya who actually physically attacked her, and Aya was somehow aware, but powerless to do anything about it! :OMG:


Quote
“Can you… stop her?”

“No… there’s only two people who can… and you know it…”
Captain must be really skilled/good with her powers. Considering how young she is, it probably came very easily and/or naturally to her. To beat her would require someone even more skilled and powerful. Aya mentions two people, but who would those two people be?


Quote
“If you say so… Kabu-chan…”

The grin returned. Hitomi stared, and went right back to anger.

“GIVE HER BACK!”

“You’ll just have to make me… Or are you too wimpy to do that too? Kill her off… just to get me out of the way…”
So it would appear that one way to stop Captain is to kill off the host body that she's possessing. This is, of course, NOT an option under any circumstances for Yossi. Aya's just an innocent pawn here.  Captain probably chose her because she knew that Yossi wouldn't be willing to hurt/kill her.
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 11 :: Heartbreak Street pt. 1)
Post by: whytphyre on July 21, 2007, 06:07:57 AM
I <3 speculations sometimes.

JFC, sweetie, it's a split personality. It isn't the Berryz, though it's a good idea.

And, before ANYONE READS ANY FURTHER! ::

Yes I did. I did go there. I had to. The irony of the whole situation was just TOO much to pass up. I almost cried when I wrote this chapter it was that bad. But I hope you all enjoy reading some of it...

I promise, to make up for it, you'll get some fluff... I promise!


Chapter 11 :: Heartbreak Street pt. 1

“Koha-chan?”

The look on her face was less than exciting, unless one was a psychiatrist. It was a slightly sadistic look, with a smirk and a glint in her eye.

And Reina was far from pleased.

“Koharu-chan… what… just happened?”

“Deus ex Machina.”

Reina stared at her a moment, blinked, stared again, and opened her mouth a few times before continuing her staring.

“Huh?”

“… Tsunku-sama told me it meant ‘God out of the Machine’ in Latin…”

“… Okay, that doesn’t help me either.”

“It fixes broken problems.”

“More specific.”

“I don’t like yo-yo’s. I have to get rid of the yo-yo so I can be happy.”

“And my hand can fall off.”

“That’s just a part of Deus ex Machina I’ll have to come to terms with.”

Koharu sounded more serious than any of Reina’s senpai members, and she was beginning to think that the girl was crazy or something.

“I don’t do it all the time. I barely do it at all… and sometimes… I try to help… but it never works out, something has to give somewhere…”

“So you have to use these powers?”

“Every now and then. Tsunku-sama said it was good for my overall health.”

What was that supposed to mean?

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“… It means that… well… it means if I don’t use them, I explode.”

Reina’s eyes grew a few sizes, before blinking, yet again.

“It’s… another side effect,” Koharu explained, in a sad and dismayed tone.

“… I can tell…”

“But… if you want me to use them for you… I can see if I can get Sayu-chan to notice you more…”

There was a pause, and an awkward silence, before Koharu closed her eyes, deep in concentration. Reina let out a noise.

“Koharu-chan, whatever it is don’t do it!”

Koharu opened her eyes again.

“I… I didn’t say I was ever interested in Sayumin…”

Now the innocent look was back, and the younger member stared up at Reina.

“… But you didn’t have to. You’re too nervous… to go near her, and so that’s why you two don’t spend all that much time together… and you let Kamei-san do all the talking when it’s you three alone in a room…”

Reina paused, unsure of how to respond. Koharu continued.

“She looks at you all the time.”

Reina blushed.

“WHA?!”

“She does… and she told me you were cute… and… she said she wanted to finally tell you about it this morning… but I haven’t seen her since last night…”

Reina really didn’t know what to say to this girl. She was just told that the girl she was fawning over was fawning over her, and finally got the guts to tell her about it.

“She went over to Yossie’s house last night… to talk to Yossie about it… because apparently she gives better love advice than I do or something.”

That was a laugh.

Wait.

“Yossie?! You mean…”

It began to click. The phone conversation, Miki’s freaked out reaction to the phone call… the whole reason they were there in the first place.

Reina wasn’t sure whether her heart was breaking in two or it was just confusedly running around like a little chibi in her chest.

“… Oh god…”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“I have to get away from you!”

She was already halfway out the door when she found that Saki was following her. She was still fleeing as she was doing so.

“But Kabu-chan…”

“NO! I told you to get away!”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“Why are we leaving the building?”

Rika was following Maki, who was making her way down a flight of stairs, and out the door.

“Because Yocchan was lying when she said she was going to talk to Tsunku… I could just see it in her eyes. She went somewhere else… and I know she’s leaving now. You know she is too, I know you do.”

“It… is how she is… but can’t you call her?”

“No. You know better than that too.”

This was also true. Hitomi was not the type of person to pick up her phone unless it was an emergency.

“Aren’t you important enough to her?”

There was a point where Maki thought about it, but then thought against it just as fast.

“No. I want to talk to her about it in person. I want to make sure I misunderstand the right things, and understand the wrong things. That way we can fight over it and make out later.”

Rika let out a small chirp of a laugh, but then stopped, unsure of whether to take it as a joke or not.

As they both reached downstairs, they saw Aya, staring at the entrance.

“Awww, Kabu-chan got all grumpy… Oh! Friends…”

However, before Aya could do more than stare at Maki and Rika wrong, a pair of arms made themselves around her midsection.

“Ayaya, why’re you back here again?”

Miki’s voice startled the three of them, mainly because she sounded a little more on the side of Sayumi at that point.

“Get off, you brat.”

At the sound of Aya’s scathing voice, Miki pulled away, surprised, unsure of how to react. It was strange hearing her so grumpy, and quite hurtful.

Then an expression of realization crossed her eyes.

“Oh. Saki… wanna give Aya back?”

“Bitch… no.”

“Fine. I’ll just have to go and hit on Yossie or something… ‘cause clearly this isn’t getting me any-“

“YOU!”

Now Maki reacted. Well, it was more of Maki’s inner voice reacting through Rika.

“NO! Get away from Yossie! She’s Maki’s now!”

Blush was written all over Maki’s cheeks. Miki, on the other hand, shrugged, and lightly made her way over to Rika, an evil glint in her eyes.

“… Fine… wanna make out?”

“God, you’re so perverted!”

“God, I’m so confused…” Maki muttered, making her way past the three, and out the door.

There she was, in her red haired glory, staring at her phone, as if trying to make some strange decision.

“Damnit. Why can’t I get any courage around girls I actually like?!” she shouted, practically to the world. Maki blushed some more. It was a quite flattering moment, and it would have been even more flattering if Hitomi saw her.

“Yocchan?”

Whirling around, Hitomi stared at Maki for a good few moments, before a blush became apparent on her face, and her free hand clenched into a nervous fist.

Maki resisted the urge to squeal like a fangirl.

“Yocchan… if you… wanted to talk…”

The blush disappeared from Hitomi’s features, and she shook her head.

“No. I was gonna just… call and say goodbye.”

“What?”

“… Uhm… look. Maybe… it’d be easier… if we just didn’t do this… clearly… you’re the jealous type… and I’m… like… not any better…”

“Excuse me? Jealous type?”

“You’re even quick to anger, see?”

“Oh, like you’re one to talk. If I were to march right back in there and make out with Rika, you’d say something about it.”

“Yeah, I’d ask to join before I got jealous… ‘cause you’d have to say no and then I’d get all angry that you’re not sharing fun…”

“Yocchan!”

“… Sorry, that’s… uhm, insensitive me talking.”

“What the hell. Miki calls Aya Saki, I have healing powers that apparently Rika has too… and now you’re sitting here telling me you have split personalities?! When’s this confusion gonna end Yocchan!? WHEN!?”

Hitomi stepped back, onto the street. It seemed pretty safe when she looked behind her.

“Uhm… you’ll figure it out, alright? You’re smart…”

Maki’s initial anger faded, and was replaced with something quite similar to annoyance.

That and the sudden realization that Hitomi looked bothered by something.

“Yocchan… I wanna help you through this…”

Hitomi took another step back.

“… I know. I just wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if you got hurt.”

There was a warm smile, one that Maki had never seen before out of her long-time best friend.

It was very short lived, as a dark purple car sped through, stopping only when it violently bumped into the elder red head, before speeding off again, leaving a rather awkward silence in its wake.

“… Yocchan?”
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 11 :: Heartbreak Street pt. 1)
Post by: JFC on July 21, 2007, 05:06:25 PM
Quote
JFC, sweetie, it's a split personality. It isn't the Berryz, though it's a good idea.
Wait, so Aya's a schizo? Captain's not controlling her in some psychic manner? That must mean that "Saki" is actually NOT Captain, but just the name given to Aya's "other" personality, right?

...

Great, just great.  Couldn't you have just picked a name that no one in H!P had yet? It would have saved me a WHOLE lot of confusion.  :bleed eyes:


Quote
I promise, to make up for it, you'll get some fluff... I promise!
It better be damn good fluff too. :(



Quote
“Koharu-chan… what… just happened?”

“Deus ex Machina.”

...

“It fixes broken problems.”

“More specific.”

“I don’t like yo-yo’s. I have to get rid of the yo-yo so I can be happy.”
Ah, the tried and true device for the writer who's run out of devices to use. :lol:  Gotta love it.



Quote
“I don’t like yo-yo’s. I have to get rid of the yo-yo so I can be happy.”

“And my hand can fall off.”

“That’s just a part of Deus ex Machina I’ll have to come to terms with.”
Getting rid of the yo-yo I can understand, but did she have to burn it? :? Couldn't she have just made it go "up and *poof*" or something?


Quote
“I don’t do it all the time. I barely do it at all… and sometimes… I try to help… but it never works out, something has to give somewhere…”

“So you have to use these powers?”

“Every now and then. Tsunku-sama said it was good for my overall health.”

What was that supposed to mean?

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“… It means that… well… it means if I don’t use them, I explode.”

Reina’s eyes grew a few sizes, before blinking, yet again.

“It’s… another side effect,” Koharu explained, in a sad and dismayed tone.
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! :OMG:
If she doesn't use her powers periodically, she'll explode?!?!!? Couldn't she, I dunno, just use them to make herself an ice cream sundae or something?


Quote
“But… if you want me to use them for you… I can see if I can get Sayu-chan to notice you more…”

There was a pause, and an awkward silence, before Koharu closed her eyes, deep in concentration. Reina let out a noise.
Sayu? Where'd this come from?


Quote
“I… I didn’t say I was ever interested in Sayumin…”

Now the innocent look was back, and the younger member stared up at Reina.

“… But you didn’t have to. You’re too nervous… to go near her, and so that’s why you two don’t spend all that much time together… and you let Kamei-san do all the talking when it’s you three alone in a room…”
Koharu probably just knew this by plain observation. No need for powers here.

And AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW Reina likes Sayu! :hee:


Quote
Koharu continued.

“She looks at you all the time.”

Reina blushed.

“WHA?!”

“She does… and she told me you were cute… and… she said she wanted to finally tell you about it this morning… but I haven’t seen her since last night…”

Reina really didn’t know what to say to this girl. She was just told that the girl she was fawning over was fawning over her, and finally got the guts to tell her about it.
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!  :luvluv2:


Quote
“She went over to Yossie’s house last night… to talk to Yossie about it… because apparently she gives better love advice than I do or something.”
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...love advice from 20 year-old Yossi VS love advice from 15 year-old Koharu.
/me raises both hands up, and starts alternately moving them up and down as if weighing something.


Yeah, no contest. :P  Yossi all the way.


Quote
“Yossie?! You mean…”

It began to click. The phone conversation, Miki’s freaked out reaction to the phone call… the whole reason they were there in the first place.

Reina wasn’t sure whether her heart was breaking in two or it was just confusedly running around like a little chibi in her chest.

“… Oh god…”
Something's wrong with Sayu! :scared:


Quote
“I have to get away from you!”

She was already halfway out the door when she found that Saki was following her. She was still fleeing as she was doing so.

“But Kabu-chan…”

“NO! I told you to get away!”
Damn, it's like a whole "Fatal Attraction" thing goin' on up in here! :O


Quote
“It… is how she is… but can’t you call her?”

...

“No. I want to talk to her about it in person. I want to make sure I misunderstand the right things, and understand the wrong things. That way we can fight over it and make out later.”
Hmmm...makes sense. Best part of the argument is the "making up" part. :D


Quote
“Ayaya, why’re you back here again?”

...

“Get off, you brat.”

...

“Oh. Saki… wanna give Aya back?”

“Bitch… no.”

“Fine. I’ll just have to go and hit on Yossie or something… ‘cause clearly this isn’t getting me any-“
What the...Miki KNOWS about Saki???  :shocked: Why the hell didn't she do something before?!? Didn't she know how obsessive Saki was getting over Yossi? Besides, having Saki must be really annoying, as when she's there, it means Miki gets less Aya-time. :cry:


Quote
“NO! Get away from Yossie! She’s Maki’s now!”
Awwwwwwwwwww...Rika's fighting on Maki's behalf. :oops:



Quote
Blush was written all over Maki’s cheeks. Miki, on the other hand, shrugged, and lightly made her way over to Rika, an evil glint in her eyes.

“… Fine… wanna make out?”

“God, you’re so perverted!”
And that's why we love Miki!  :pimp:


Quote
There she was, in her red haired glory, staring at her phone, as if trying to make some strange decision.

“Damnit. Why can’t I get any courage around girls I actually like?!” she shouted, practically to the world. Maki blushed some more. It was a quite flattering moment, and it would have been even more flattering if Hitomi saw her.
Oh, Maki spotted Yossi admitting that she likes her! :w00t:

Quote
“Yocchan?”

Whirling around, Hitomi stared at Maki for a good few moments, before a blush became apparent on her face, and her free hand clenched into a nervous fist.

Maki resisted the urge to squeal like a fangirl.
DO IT! SQUEAL LIKE A FANGIRL!!! :wriggly:


Quote
“Yocchan… if you… wanted to talk…”

The blush disappeared from Hitomi’s features, and she shook her head.

“No. I was gonna just… call and say goodbye.”

“What?”

“… Uhm… look. Maybe… it’d be easier… if we just didn’t do this… clearly… you’re the jealous type… and I’m… like… not any better…”
WTF.... :dizzy:


Quote
“What the hell. Miki calls Aya Saki, I have healing powers that apparently Rika has too… and now you’re sitting here telling me you have split personalities?! When’s this confusion gonna end Yocchan!? WHEN!?”
And now YOSSI has split personalities too!  :err:

Ugh, I wanna give up.


Quote
“Yocchan… I wanna help you through this…”

Hitomi took another step back.

“… I know. I just wouldn’t be able to forgive myself if you got hurt.”

There was a warm smile, one that Maki had never seen before out of her long-time best friend.

It was very short lived, as a dark purple car sped through, stopping only when it violently bumped into the elder red head, before speeding off again, leaving a rather awkward silence in its wake.

“… Yocchan?”
Oh shit...the prophecy!

:imdead:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 11 :: Heartbreak Street pt. 1)
Post by: glcorps2002 on July 21, 2007, 05:46:48 PM
You know, technically you can be clinically dead(heart stops beating for a bit) and be brought back to life with modern medical science or good old fashioned CPR. That would keep the prophecy true and it would have effected it's target.
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 11 :: Heartbreak Street pt. 1)
Post by: inDeceit on July 21, 2007, 05:58:25 PM
Ooh..now I know. Funny how Miki handles Aya's other self.

ReinaSayu? Now there's something I don't see everyday.

 :scared: Yossie!!! Felt like she did it on purpose to push Maki into making full use of her healing powers. I really have to reread the whole fic since 'Prophecy' kinda fled my memory.

Damn cliffhanger.
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 11 :: Heartbreak Street pt. 1)
Post by: rndmnwierd on July 22, 2007, 01:55:26 AM
Quote
It was very short lived, as a dark purple car sped through, stopping only when it violently bumped into the elder red head, before speeding off again, leaving a rather awkward silence in its wake.

“… Yocchan?”

 :banghead:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 12 :: Heartbreak Street pt. 2)
Post by: whytphyre on July 23, 2007, 05:51:02 AM
So that was half to freak you all out and half to advance in plot... but yeah. This chapter's pretty much monopolized. Cute, heartwarming fluff here... next chapter we get back to the action. Ai-chan needs to go bust some ass.

Chapter 12 :: Heartbreak Street pt. 2

What happened?

Okay, beyond the ‘I just messed up with a sexy woman’ thing. The last thing I remember is seeing her starting to smile back at me. It was adorable… or it would have been, if I could remember anything else before this darkness.

“Yocchan!”

Who was that? Whatever, it doesn’t matter. I need to think.

What happened last?

Oh, right. That prophecy thing. Kaorin always wanted to talk to me after my graduation, as if she was spooked about something.

But still, why now? Why not like two years ago, when I wasn’t fawning over Gocchin?

“Yocchan!”

Shut up!

Pain. Ow. Something hurts. I don’t know what it is, but it hurts. Oh, everything hurts. It doesn’t matter. It’ll stop soon. This is all just some bad dream or something.

What was it that Kaorin said? The leader who graduates in the 7th of the 21rst or some such nonsense. Whatever. Never believed in strange prophecies like that.

But… Gocchin. I can’t leave her hanging. I couldn’t. That was why I was distancing myself, so she didn’t have to ever worry about it again.

”Yocchan! You can’t die on me!”

I’m not gonna, now if you would wait three more seconds!

Wait, something tasted funny. A little on the salty side actually. I don’t remember being in the ocean.

Oh. Tears. Right. Or was that blood? It tasted a little on the funny, metallic side too…

Wait.

Was I dying?

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“Yocchan! Don’t die!”

There was a lifeless body in her arms, and tears flowing from her cheeks.

“Yocchan… please… say something…”

She let out a sob, as Rika and Miki stood on the sidewalk, the former with her jaw dropped.

The latter with a phone in her hand.

“Moshimoshi! Ah! Hai, it’s Miki… yeah, just wanted to call and tell you to make sure the rest of clan Yoshizawa’s safe inside, and away from the streets… yeah, it seems that there’s a natural attraction for you people and cars.”

There was a pause, and Rika let out all hell on Miki, while the person on the other end, probably someone related to Hitomi, did the same.

Maki paid no heed.

“Yocchan… I’m here for you… okay? I… I know you don't want me to get hurt or whatever… but… I’m here. I wanna help. You might be slightly stupid in the head… but ya know what? I don’t care. I… I love you…”

“… wanna… get… off…”

Maki stared down at what used to be a dead corpse, or what she thought was one. No coherent sentences, and her thoughts went right back to the zombies that she thought about earlier.

“… Ribs… ow… OW!”

Letting out a noise, Maki paused, unsure of what to do.

“OW. REST OF BODY OW!”

Another noise, followed by Hitomi moving around in Maki’s arms.

“Owwww… OOOOWWWW! Oh god! Ow!”

Maki blinked down at her. She didn’t seem to be horridly in pain. She was bleeding in a few places, but if she was still on the brink of death, there would have been quieter noises, and less moving.

Oh, healing powers. Duh.

“… Yocchan, I heard you the first time.”

“Ow! Ooooww-… oh… wanna kiss me, make it better?”

“… What happened to ‘going it alone’?”

“Oh fine, don’t be here for me…”

“Brat…”

“Yes, I am.”

The sound of sirens snapped them both out of the looks they gave each other, Hitomi’s was more of a suave ‘You know you want some of this,’ and Maki’s was a look of pure anger.

“We should get out of the street.”

It was a neutral statement that came out of Hitomi’s mouth, but Maki wasn’t sure to follow it.

“If you get run over by a car, no one’ll be around to heal you.”

“Rika will.”

“She’s a mimic. You die, there’s nothing to mimic…”

Back to the not making sense again! At least things seemed to be in order.

“… That was your car… I think…” Maki finally blurted. Brow raised, Hitomi gave her a look.

“What do you mean… ‘that was your car.’ And before you say anything else… remember, no one wants to steal my hideous death trap of a machine, remember?”

It was true. Once Hitomi got her license, Yuko and Natsumi took her out car shopping, and they finally settled on an inexpensive car that looked relatively shiny and relatively safe.

That was a few years ago.

“… Maybe we should get off the street…”

“No no, I wanna know how you know that’s my car…”

“Yocchan…”

“Fine, mom. Fine.”

They stared at each other for a few moments more, before Maki slowly helped Hitomi up. It seemed there were still some bruises and sprains, but they were slowly healing.

The main threat was the part that shook them both the most.

Neither of them said it right out, as they finally settled on the sidewalk, but they both knew the other was thinking about it. An ambulance sped by, completely missing the scene of the accident, but it didn’t seem too concerned.

The victim was mostly better now.

“Sorry,” Hitomi finally said, paying no heed to the scene of Miki and Rika arguing at each other behind them.

“For what?” Maki asked, giving Hitomi a strange look.

“Scaring you. I did that a lot today, didn’t I?”

“Yes, you did.”

“So what’d happen if I told you that I was a guy?”

“I’d kill you and never heal you again.”

“You don’t mean that… You said you loved me…”

“Tough love knows no bounds Yocchan.”

Hitomi grinned, but didn’t do much else. No kissing, no hugs, no corny ‘I love you back’ statements.

Just a grin.

“Yocchan… you gonna be alright?”

“Of course I am. You know me better than that. I’m tough! I’ll bounce back from anything!”

“There’s a snake next to you.”

“OHMIGOD WHERE?!”

She let out a noise, and clung to Maki, before realizing that the younger was laughing at her own joke. Hitomi snorted.

“Not funny.”

“Yes it was… it was hilarious…”

Maki let out another laugh before smiling over at Hitomi, who went solemn again. She was fiddling with her black cellphone, which was adorned with cute soccer balls and a little beetle sticker.

Inside jokes always escaped Maki.

“It’s broken. I think whatever bumped into me must’ve killed the phone too. No one’ll be able to get a hold of me…”

Maki nodded.

“Mine works fine. We’ll be alright.”

The elder woman shook her head.

“I have to do this one on my own.”

Despite the fact that there was an argument (now on why Reina got the lead Shabondama part) behind them, Maki didn’t find it fit to yell at her friend.

It seemed like something Hitomi had to do.

“Will you come back?”

Hitomi shrugged.

“I hope so. My plan is to stay alive… I’ve been lucky so far… but I can’t always depend on you…”

She smiled lightly, before eyeing Maki, a bit on the nervous side.

“No matter how much I might love you back.”

Maki smiled back, and the two shared a moment that one of them would later gag over how uncool it was to do it in public.

They were in a city after all, and, despite the fact that no one was smart enough to call 911, there was a large number of bystanders watching the scene, until they were sure no one was bleeding.

Guess the whole ‘getting up from being hit by a car’ thing must not have spooked city folk anymore. They probably thought it was a publicity stunt.

Nonetheless, both Hitomi and Maki had their egos, and their reputations to look after.

“So… you’ll try?”

“Best I can… they don’t call me Mr. Moonlight for nutin’…”

“They still call you that?”

“Yes.”

It ended their small, light hearted banter, and Hitomi stood up.

“Maki… I mean it…”

She smiled down at the other woman, stuffing one of her hands into her pockets, and fiddling around with her cell phone a moment.

“I’ll come back… or I’ll die trying.”

After a moment, she plopped the black device in Maki’s lap.

“That’s reassurance.”

Pulling her hand out of her pocket, she showed Maki a slightly battered friendship bracelet, much like the one the younger woman used to wear, shortly before her own graduation from Morning Musume.

“And this is luck.”

They grinned at each other for a moment, before Hitomi looked back at the two, who were still fighting, and now causing a mass of people to collect around them. She sighed.

“Those two will never learn. OI!”

The two stopped, and stared at Hitomi, who looked rather sternly at the both of them.

“If you two are gonna fight, do it inside, where no one who gets off from this sort of thing can gawk at you. Otherwise, just don’t, okay? You’re gonna give us a worse reputation than Kutagawa can do on her own.”

Hitomi let out a snort, and glanced back over at Maki.

“I think you’ll be entertained by them, even if I don’t come back…”

Maki didn’t smile back at this.

“… Fine. Be that way. Seriously though, don’t wait up for me. Live life. Don’t mope around… ‘cause I really might not come back.”

“You’re dead set on that, aren’t you?”

There was a small silence between them.

“No. I don’t want to be… I’m just being a pessimist. Kaorin’s never been proven wrong before…”

“I thought you didn’t know.”

There was another small silence.

“… She told me a few minutes before I tried going to Tsunku… I’m kinda spooked by the whole thing. I really don’t want to die…”

Maki had never seen this side of Hitomi before, so it was natural for concern to spread across her features.

“I’m allowed to be afraid of something other than snakes.”

“Yeah… but…”

“No one else hears of it. Just you, and Miki… and Rika, who’re totally paying attention now.”

They grinned again.

“… Now before this turns into some strange, corny moment, I’m gonna go…” Hitomi said lightly, “… And watch yourself… someone finds out that we’re fawning over each other, and FRIDAY’s sure to follow.”

“… I don’t care.”

“Good. Neither do I.”

Hitomi smiled again, before leaning over and giving Maki a small kiss on the forehead.

“I’ll be back. This time I promise.”

Without another word, Hitomi winked, and slowly walked off into the crowd. Rika and Miki watched her do so, before Miki glanced over at Maki.

“So no naked closet time for you, huh Gocchin?”
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 12 :: Heartbreak Street pt. 2)
Post by: JFC on July 24, 2007, 07:04:04 AM
Quote
Oh, right. That prophecy thing. Kaorin always wanted to talk to me after my graduation, as if she was spooked about something.
Kaori was likely worried (and must have somehow knew) that Yossi would have been the one that the prophecy referred to.


Quote
What was it that Kaorin said? The leader who graduates in the 7th of the 21rst or some such nonsense. Whatever. Never believed in strange prophecies like that.

But… Gocchin. I can’t leave her hanging. I couldn’t. That was why I was distancing myself, so she didn’t have to ever worry about it again.
Yossi sort of contradicts herself here. She says she doesn't believe in prophecies, yet she just admitted to pushing Maki away so that she would get hurt. If Yossi really didn't believe in that prophecy she wouldn't have been worried about Maki getting hurt like that.


Quote
Was I dying?
Not if Maki can remember what she's capable of. :mon cute:


Quote
Rika and Miki stood on the sidewalk, the former with her jaw dropped.

The latter with a phone in her hand.

“Moshimoshi! Ah! Hai, it’s Miki… yeah, just wanted to call and tell you to make sure the rest of clan Yoshizawa’s safe inside, and away from the streets… yeah, it seems that there’s a natural attraction for you people and cars.”
A safe precaution, if for no other reason than to keep the girls from seeing Yossi in such state.  I mean, getting hit by a car TWICE in one day? It's just...dayum.  :shocked:

On a related note, who did Miki call?


Quote
“Yocchan… I’m here for you… okay? I… I know you don't want me to get hurt or whatever… but… I’m here. I wanna help. You might be slightly stupid in the head… but ya know what? I don’t care. I… I love you…”

“… wanna… get… off…”

Maki stared down at what used to be a dead corpse, or what she thought was one. No coherent sentences, and her thoughts went right back to the zombies that she thought about earlier.

“… Ribs… ow… OW!”

Letting out a noise, Maki paused, unsure of what to do.

“OW. REST OF BODY OW!”

Another noise, followed by Hitomi moving around in Maki’s arms.

“Owwww… OOOOWWWW! Oh god! Ow!”

Maki blinked down at her. She didn’t seem to be horridly in pain. She was bleeding in a few places, but if she was still on the brink of death, there would have been quieter noises, and less moving.
I'd tend to agree with Maki, Yossi's being rather loud for someone who's supposed to be dying. :?


Quote
Oh, healing powers. Duh.
Indeed. Duh. ;D


Quote
“… Yocchan, I heard you the first time.”

“Ow! Ooooww-… oh… wanna kiss me, make it better?”

“… What happened to ‘going it alone’?”

“Oh fine, don’t be here for me…”

“Brat…”

“Yes, I am.”

The sound of sirens snapped them both out of the looks they gave each other, Hitomi’s was more of a suave ‘You know you want some of this,’ and Maki’s was a look of pure anger.
Well, looks like Yossi's gonna make it. She's making jokes and being all suave/cool and what not, after all.  :pimp:


Quote
“We should get out of the street.”

It was a neutral statement that came out of Hitomi’s mouth, but Maki wasn’t sure to follow it.

“If you get run over by a car, no one’ll be around to heal you.”

“Rika will.”

“She’s a mimic. You die, there’s nothing to mimic…”
Whoa, so Rika's power isn't healing, but instead copying the powers that the others have?  Interesting. It would have been nice if that little fact had been made known to us earlier though (or maybe I just missed the part where you did >_<).


Quote
Neither of them said it right out, as they finally settled on the sidewalk, but they both knew the other was thinking about it. An ambulance sped by, completely missing the scene of the accident, but it didn’t seem too concerned.
Okay, I'll ask it: So where was that ambulance headed for?


Quote
“Yocchan… you gonna be alright?”

“Of course I am. You know me better than that. I’m tough! I’ll bounce back from anything!”

“There’s a snake next to you.”

“OHMIGOD WHERE?!”

She let out a noise, and clung to Maki, before realizing that the younger was laughing at her own joke. Hitomi snorted.
XD  Nice one Maki!


Quote
Maki let out another laugh before smiling over at Hitomi, who went solemn again. She was fiddling with her black cellphone, which was adorned with cute soccer balls and a little beetle sticker.
Futsal and Kabutomushi! :rockon:


Quote
“I have to do this one on my own.”

...

“Will you come back?”

...

“I hope so. My plan is to stay alive… I’ve been lucky so far… but I can’t always depend on you…”

...

“No matter how much I might love you back.”

Maki smiled back, and the two shared a moment that one of them would later gag over how uncool it was to do it in public.
AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!  :wub:


Quote
Seriously though, don’t wait up for me. Live life. Don’t mope around… ‘cause I really might not come back.”

“You’re dead set on that, aren’t you?”

There was a small silence between them.

“No. I don’t want to be… I’m just being a pessimist. Kaorin’s never been proven wrong before…”
She hasn't? Shit that's not exactly comforting.


Quote
“I’ll be back. This time I promise.”

Without another word, Hitomi winked, and slowly walked off into the crowd.
Damn that's heroic. :cool1:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 12 :: Heartbreak Street pt. 2)
Post by: whytphyre on July 26, 2007, 03:45:29 AM
Thank you for posting, I felt unloved for a good two days.

Now you earn one of these:

 :otomerika:

Woo!

Anyyywho. To answer your responses.

If we've seen in the past, Hitomi does tend to contradict her own behaviors, or is hypocritical in her own right (at least in my stories). She tends to not care for her own well-being, while at the same time cares for everyone around her. It'll come up again later in the story.

I forgot to mention Rika's abilities myself (Mainly because I seriously thought I was going to stick with healing until about a chapter and a half ago). So it was me changing my mind and covering it up uneventfully.

Miki called Hitomi's mother. No reason other than my sick sense of humor.

And where that ambulance is going....

You'll find out soon enough.

 :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 12 :: Heartbreak Street pt. 2)
Post by: orangesocks on July 29, 2007, 04:45:36 AM
Quote
Miki called Hitomi's mother. No reason other than my sick sense of humor.
Well horray for that cuz this fic is damn hilarious.  :yep:

God, that car came outta nowhere...And what're they going to do with Ayaya and Sayu, I wonder? The girl can conjure up a devil(?!)

Quote
“Moshimoshi! Ah! Hai, it’s Miki… yeah, just wanted to call and tell you to make sure the rest of clan Yoshizawa’s safe inside, and away from the streets… yeah, it seems that there’s a natural attraction for you people and cars.”

There was a pause, and Rika let out all hell on Miki, while the person on the other end, probably someone related to Hitomi, did the same.
Oh, Miki! I felt bad for laughing at this.

Mimicry seems like the perfect power for Rika. It made me think of Charmy, for some reason.

Yossie's farewell made me think of old western movies.
Cowboy says, "Yo, I'm leavin' lady," and lady goes, "foo, you best not die on me lest I whoop yo ass!" At least that's how I always interpreted the dialogue.

I think I need to re-read this.  All these multiple personalities and names! Gah, I hope Reina, Sayu, and Ai save Gaki-san... :(
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 12 :: Heartbreak Street pt. 2)
Post by: lil_hamz on July 29, 2007, 08:30:03 AM
^ Me too. Maybe my inadequate brain can't keep up with intense, complex plots like this :P

Next time I'll post that I read even if I don't know what to say. Anyone knows where to go to up-size a brain? :lol:

But I can say one thing, the story is really well paced. There's a good portion of each part to build up one chapter for the next. *thumbs up*
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 12 :: Heartbreak Street pt. 2)
Post by: whytphyre on August 03, 2007, 05:37:18 AM
Sorry for the delay gang. I've been a bit busy with life...

For extra emphasis, there's only one set of multiple personalities, and that's Aya's at the moment ^^

Sorry again guys! The chapter should be up soon!
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 13 :: Hana wo Pu~un!)
Post by: whytphyre on August 15, 2007, 05:31:48 AM
Hi. This is soo not soon, but I don't care. Just read it. And enjoy.

Please enjoy.


Chapter 13 :: Hana wo Pu~un!

Bullets hurt.

If I could understate that any more, I would. I don’t have enough page time to do it (explain bullet pain I mean), so I’ll stick with that… oh, and the following:

Holy mackerel of all that’s pink and cute! (random swears here)! THAT FRIGGIN’ STINGS!

They don’t call me the reaction queen for nothing.

I don’t remember much after the immense amount of pain, but I do remember Gocchin’s voice, and the pain had stopped for awhile.

I took a pretty good nap between then and whenever the pain started up again.

Then, all I remember after that was popping my eyes open and being greeted with sobs and more pain.

“Gaki-san!”

Especially the pain in the head region.

“Sayumin… I’m… OW OW OW!!!”

Letting out a shrill cry (a very shrill, head hurty one), Sayumin stumbled back and stared.

“Thank you. Just keep it down some, okay?”

“She’s been like that since we got here. Give her a moment.”

My gaze snapped over to Ai-chan. Her eyes were puffy, her cheeks were tear-stained, but she had the same composure Yocchan had on her own graduation.

It was kind of scary.

I almost expected her to demand I stare at her until I burst into tears, then give me those bug eyes…

Nevermind, reaction queen as I might be, I’m horrid at that comparison thing.

“Sorry to give you a scare,” I tried sheepishly, “At least I’m alive, right?”

“ALIVE!? You’d better as hell be alive after all this worrying I’ve done! OHMIGOD Gaki-san, what is your problem!? You expect me to just say ‘everything’s alright, just get better soon’!? I’m not forgiving you for getting shot!”

Pause. Silence. I couldn’t tell who burst out into tears first, but we were crying and hugging and comforting not long after that short moment of silence.

“You didn’t go off and do anything stupid, did you?” I finally asked. The crying had stopped, but she still clung to me, like Sayumin did during her little moment.

She must have felt left out.

“No, not really…” Ai-chan said, through the last of her tears. I had no idea what she meant by that, but I knew it wasn’t ‘of course not Gak-san!’

“Ai-chan…”

“I… sent… one of the Berryz girls… out for clues…”

“Why?”

“So no one else got hurt…”

Sometimes Ai-chan was a great liar, and could even weasel her way out of even Yocchan’s motherly interrogations.

This was not one of those times.

“Ai-chan.”

“I don’t want whoever it was hurting you again!”

Pause. Silence.

Oh.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Why?

What did Kamei-san ever do to him? Why did he do that?

To say the least, I had no idea why she was bleeding all over the place. I just knew who did it.

He was angry, with wide eyes and scraggly, black hair. He didn’t have a gun or knife or anything.

He just spoke some Latin at Kamei-san, and she started splurting blood all over the place.

First I was trying to help her, getting her blood all over my new clothing. My mom was gonna kill me.

Then I was crying my heart out over the whole ordeal. My dad was gonna kill me.

And now I was watching an ambulance drive off with her because I was in too many, much… whatever, hysterics to go with them.

Damn that stupid language barrier.

Linlin was gonna kill me.

Tears had finally stopped by the time the ambulance drove out of sight, but I rubbed my eyes anyways.

I should have stayed in China, really I should have. My parents were probably worried sick.

I swear, if I wasn’t dead by the end of the day… I would have been by the end of the week.

“Junjun…”

Her voice startled me, but when she calmly put her hand on my shoulder, I settled down again.

“Kamei’ll be alright… he didn’t kill her. Let’s just get you cleaned up, and we can talk about what to do now over some cake… or something soothing, okay?”

I sniffed, and nodded, smiling over at her before giving her a large hug.

“… Alright, we stop by my apartment first… ‘cause now I need a change of clothing… you’re such a little bugger…”

She knew I understood her, and never tried to simplify her language around me. After she realized how smart I was, she just went right back to talking as she normally did.

Though her saying hello to me was just amusing.

“… Hai.”

“Good. Maybe we can get you into some clothing that’ll fit you… despite the fact that you’re… taller…”

She noticed that I had let a stray tear fall from my cheek, and she brushed it away.

“Hey now, big girls don’t cry. Especially the cute Chinese panda types. Toughen up. Let’s go.”
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 13 :: Hana wo Pu~un!)
Post by: JFC on August 15, 2007, 07:06:23 AM
Quote
Bullets hurt.

...

They don’t call me the reaction queen for nothing.

I don’t remember much after the immense amount of pain, but I do remember Gocchin’s voice, and the pain had stopped for awhile.

...

Then, all I remember after that was popping my eyes open and being greeted with sobs and more pain.

“Gaki-san!”
Risa got shot?
/me goes back to check previous chapters.

Oh...right. Aichan's on some vengeance trip to find out who shot Risa.

*sigh* So many sub-stories in this one. Hard to remember them all. :dizzy:



Quote
My gaze snapped over to Ai-chan. Her eyes were puffy, her cheeks were tear-stained, but she had the same composure Yocchan had on her own graduation.

...

“Sorry to give you a scare,” I tried sheepishly, “At least I’m alive, right?”

“ALIVE!? You’d better as hell be alive after all this worrying I’ve done! OHMIGOD Gaki-san, what is your problem!? You expect me to just say ‘everything’s alright, just get better soon’!? I’m not forgiving you for getting shot!”

...

“You didn’t go off and do anything stupid, did you?” I finally asked.

...

“No, not really…” Ai-chan said, through the last of her tears. I had no idea what she meant by that, but I knew it wasn’t ‘of course not Gak-san!’

“Ai-chan…”

“I… sent… one of the Berryz girls… out for clues…”

“Why?”

...

“I don’t want whoever it was hurting you again!”

Pause. Silence.

Oh.
Yep. :yep:

Sweet...clueless...baka Risa. Only realizing it now are we?



Quote
What did Kamei-san ever do to him? Why did he do that?

To say the least, I had no idea why she was bleeding all over the place. I just knew who did it.

He was angry, with wide eyes and scraggly, black hair. He didn’t have a gun or knife or anything.

He just spoke some Latin at Kamei-san, and she started splurting blood all over the place.
GODDAMMIT now what? Last time we heard from Eri and Junjun, they were just trying to buy some FUCKIN pocky at a corner store!  :banghead: How'd the FUCK did we go from THAT, to FUCKIN Eri bleeding?!?!?! And who the FUCK is "he" and what exactly did he say to Eri? 


This whole thing is getting more incoherent than a daytime soap opera! (I HATE shit that's incoherent) Instead of going 1-2-3-4-5-6-7, we're going from 1 and skipping all the way to 7, then (sometimes) going back and touching on 5, 2, 6, and 3, which thus confuses and frustrates the living hell out of people like me who actually like knowing what the hell they're reading!  :angry:


Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 13 :: Hana wo Pu~un!)
Post by: whytphyre on August 15, 2007, 05:04:14 PM
That's kinda funny. I don't like writing 1-2-3-4-5-6-7... 'cause then I can't totally confuse everyone.

Everything will be straightened out within the next two chapters... at least somewhat mostly explained. Sorda. You'll see.

Then I'll get to the slightly humorous part, and then I'll go right back to confusing again!
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 13 :: Hana wo Pu~un!)
Post by: inDeceit on August 15, 2007, 05:10:27 PM
I for one like being confused. Creates suspense and stuff XD Kinda makes you keep wanting to come back just to check when the next damned chapter would be up and reveal more about the situation.

Anyway.. OMG ERI D:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 13 :: Hana wo Pu~un!)
Post by: lil_hamz on August 17, 2007, 10:03:19 AM
Oh my, JFC, your comment's too funny :lol:

About Eri having blood all over the walls, floor and what not.... WHY DID YOU LET THAT HAPPEN?!?!?! *grabs whytphyre and attempts to shake her/him but ends up getting whack over the head instead*

First Risa, now Eri. You're targeting all my favorite members. If the next one getting hurt and spilling blood is Reina, I'm convinced you're determined to kill off everyone I like XD
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 13 :: Hana wo Pu~un!)
Post by: whytphyre on August 20, 2007, 03:54:49 AM
If I killed off everyone you liked I'd have killed off everyone I liked by now too. None of them die in this story. Big hint.

These next two chapters will wrap up this set of problems, like I stated before. Then we'll get into a real big thing, and go back to confusion.


Chapter 14 :: Wrapping Things Up...

“C’mon Maki. If I didn’t ask, someone would have!”

She was in what could conceivably be called her ‘private dressing room.’

She had been in there for awhile, at least an hour or so.

Miki was knocking on her door pretty hard, as if her knocks could burst the door down.

Despite this, Maki was still hiding inside.

“Shut up! Go away!”

Well, at least she was alive.

“Ya know, Yocchan doesn’t like it when people hide in dressing rooms! She had to drag Reina out one time, remember? She was ranting about it for a week!”

Maki highly doubted it. Miki knocked again.

“Gocchin! Do you wa-“

“DON’T CALL ME THAT!”

“Wow, bratty much?”

She sighed, and glanced behind her shoulder, at Rika, who finally made a noise.

“Yeah, ain’t she weird?”

“I think she’s just… upset… That you said mean things to her.”

“Like what?!”

“No naked closet time? What kind of crap is that to say? It’s inappropriate! It’s bad enough Gocch-“

“I SAID DON’T CALL ME THAT!”

“… Maki-chan… has to worry about Yocchan’s well being… but you go and say mean things to her about it? No wonder. All her grump must go down to her boobies.”

The door swung open, and Maki gave Rika a cold stare. After a small moment, she tightened the ponytail that now held her hair back, and snorted.

“Don’t tell anyone I’m going after Yocchan.”

Miki and Rika stared. Maki had dressed herself in a red workout suit, much similar to the blue one Hitomi had always favored.

Complete with matching, red shoes. A girl had to accessorize, after all.

“You can’t just go after Kabutomabushi,” Miki said sternly, “She told you to stay here.”

“Well you know what? I don’t care.”

“Maki-chan…”

Rika gave her a cute, watery eyed look. She didn’t want to see Maki die or anything stupid like that. Hitomi wouldn’t ever forgive her for letting Maki wander recklessly into her own death.

“Rika-chan…”

Maki gave the girl a warm smile and put a hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t worry about me. I mean it. I’m just going to make sure Yocchan doesn’t go kill herself. I won’t get myself in danger.”

Was it a blatant lie? Probably, but Rika seemed to buy it, as she nodded and smiled back.

Miki didn’t, however.

“No. You aren’t leaving.”

“I didn’t ask.”

“I didn’t say I was answerin’ a question.”

They stared each other down for a long moment, and Rika let out a squeak.

“Please not here. Let her go. We have more important people to worry about,” she said. Miki gave Rika a look.

“…. Fine. But if Maki dies, I’m blaming it on you.”

“Then blame it on me. I don’t think she’s going to die. I think she’s going to be just fine.”

Maki’s smile appeared again, and she gave Rika a small hug.

“Thank you. If Yocchan comes back tell her I told her not to yell at you. Or she gets no happy fun time.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Reina wasn’t sure how long she could keep Koharu out on the street. The girl wasn’t a hindrance to anyone, and she didn’t wave her arms around wildly or make things burst into flames, but she was clinging to Reina a little closer than Reina would have liked.

“She’s out here… I know she is.”

“Not right now she’s not. We’ll get back to Miki-san, and then we’ll deal with it from there, okay? Once we get to Miki-san, everything will be alright.”

Reina was livid with anger at Miki, but she didn’t tell Koharu that. She was sure the girl realized it anyways.

“Reina-chan.”

“Hai?”

“Was Mikitty-chan angry at me?”

“No. Don’t worry about it.”

Koharu smiled and nodded fiercely. Reina gave the girl a small, playful bump on the cheek, like Hitomi used to do for her.

“Koha-chan, why were you in that closet?”

Koharu was quiet for a moment, but she nodded to herself and gave Reina a fierce look, determined to tell her 6th Gen senpai what she could.

“Saki said that Sayumin had seen her almost kill Yocchan last night, so she tried to come and get Sayumin… but Sayumin was already headed for work, and I had just missed her too…”

“What were you doing at Sayumin’s place?”

“I wanted to borrow her mirror again…”

Reina nodded. It was beginning to click now.

“So Saki did some things to you and stuffed you in a closet?”

“… She scared me and stuffed me in a closet…”

Koharu looked down after that, as if revealing more would give away too much. Reina nodded again, and brought the 7th Gen girl close.

“It’ll be alright. Like I said, we go find Miki-san, and she’ll scare Saki away. Promise.”
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 14 :: Wrapping Things Up...)
Post by: JFC on August 20, 2007, 06:15:09 AM
Ok, is the Saki that is going psycho on Yossi, is she Captain or not?
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 14 :: Wrapping Things Up...)
Post by: whytphyre on August 21, 2007, 02:36:55 AM
No. That Saki is Aya's sadistic personality. Her name came from the Sukeban Deka name... and then everyone flipped out. I honestly wasn't thinking about how many Sakis are in H!P... so Momo was sooooo me poking at everyone ^^;;
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 14 :: Wrapping Things Up...)
Post by: JFC on August 21, 2007, 03:41:43 AM
^ Okay, THAT helps clear things up a bit. It was really confusing there, especially when you had back to back chapters that had Momoko and Saki (aka "Captain") in one, and then shortly after you bring in Aya's "Saki".
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 14 :: Wrapping Things Up...)
Post by: g4rfield on August 24, 2007, 12:21:46 AM
Ehh? Aya with a split personality?? Funny that I think in real life she does too, just not as extreme to the extent of wanting to kill people.  XD You messed with my brain with that 'Saki' name cuz seriously I thought it was Captain, I never once think that it was Sukeban Deka character name.  :lol: What a  baka! You should definitely continue this fic.    I'd like to know what's happen with Yomaki and Aya Miki, esp. with the split personality problem, and Sayu/Reina? That's new. I like Sayu/Eri but well, I'm open to new combo.  :D
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 15 :: ... Is What We Do Best)
Post by: whytphyre on August 25, 2007, 04:29:30 AM
The source of Eri's 'killer' is revealed! Bourne Supremacy references! I need a nap!

Enjoy the chapter! OR ELSE!


Chapter 15 :: ... Is What We Do Best

“Junjun.”

“Your apartment’s white.”

“I noticed. Take off your shoes before you enter.”

Hitomi walked past the bewildered Chinese girl, who stared in complete awe of her former leader’s apartment. It was different than what she imagined.

“Junjun, you hungry?”

“Hm?”

“Hungry. You know, hamburgers, ramen, food.”

“Ah! Yes. No. Not anymore.”

Very short, sweet, simple answers. Hitomi liked that.

“I can see why Tsunku chose you…”

Junjun grinned, before taking off her shoes and following her leader into her room, purely on instinct. Hitomi raised her brow.

“Junjun, I’m getting changed…”

“Hai.”

“… Do you wanna… leave the room?”

“No. We… are both girls, right?”

Hitomi smiled, and nodded.

“Guess we are.”

She didn’t waste any time after that, shedding her now bloody, white tee and replacing it with a new one of the same style and color. Junjun noticed that there were scars on her stomach. Not big enough to imply a horrible flesh wound, but enough to be noticeable.

“Yoshizawa-sama?”

Hitomi stopped, and stared at the girl. No one called her that. Really, no one ever called her that. Maybe Junjun had a problem with honorifics.

Yeah, that’ll explain that one.

“Junjun?”

“Why did you bring me here? Why not… back at… work?”

Letting a sigh escape her lips, Hitomi smiled at the girl and scratched the back of her head in a thoughtful manner.

“… I don’t know. It seemed right.”

“It just… seemed right?”

“Kinda like destiny Junjun. It just feels right.”

“… You didn’t… seem to be into… that sort of thing…”

“I’m not, but I can’t explain it any other way.”

She smiled at Junjun, who smiled back.

“You need to get washed up kiddo. The whole blood thing? Doesn’t suit you. Makes you look like someone out of Battle Royale.”

Junjun looked down, and smiled back up at Hitomi again.

“I like Battle Royale.”

“You would say that.”

Junjun grinned smugly, and received a light punch on the cheek, a playful one. Hitomi grinned back.

“Wash up. Then I’ll give you a change of clothing… and then we’ll eat something, ‘cause all I had for breakfast was some pastries. I need some meat if I wanna go save the world.”

Junjun stopped, and stared at Hitomi, who stared back in the same manner.

“What?”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

Her footsteps were light, as she rounded the corner of the warehouse. She had followed the trail that she was given by Ai. She wasn’t entirely sure how Ai got the trail, but there was a feeling in the back of her mind that Ai had powers she wasn’t telling people about.

Miyabi let a small sigh escape her lips, as she rounded another corner. She was closer to the trail on who shot Risa, or who they all thought who shot her.

“The stupid turtle girl was easy…”

“I was aiming for the taller one… What’s she, Chinese?”

“You aimed wrong, and you got the turtle. Don’t worry ‘bout it. We got one. She’s defined dead.”

“I didn’t hit her close enough to her heart to kill her!”

“I coulda sworn I felt her die!”

“Your powers don’t have anything to do with that!”

There was a pause, and a grunt.

“Fine. We’ve terrorized Morning Musume… who’s FRIDAY want us to deal with next?”

“… Berryz Koubou. More specifically, they want Sugaya Risako in a scandal, out in the open, and ready to kill…”

“… Hmm… I guess we could use the Asset on ‘er…”

“No. Remember what happened to the last few Assets?”

“… Oh yeah… Yaguchi's not a people person when she's being toyed with…”

“Doesn’t matter. I’ll go after Risako myself. And I know how to get to her. I gotta kill one of her little friends first…”

“Which one though? We don’t know enough about them to expose…”

“We’ll find out, and you know there’s only one way to do that.”

Laughter, then a pause.

“We just kill ‘em off, one by one.”

“Probably not the effe- Wait, what was that?”

That would have been the noise Miyabi made as she tried to turn and hightail it out of the warehouse.

What did Ai send her into!?

Moreover, what did they want with Risako? She had to get back to the other Berryz, she had to warn them.

Screw what her senpai wanted anymore. Her friends meant more to her. Risako meant more to her.

.... Mostly her friends.

“Ack! They’ve found us!”

Miyabi didn’t look back, just ran harder. She could make it. Turn a couple more corners, get out into the open. They wouldn’t shoot her if they were revealed… They wouldn’t harm a Berryz if they couldn’t find her either.

“Oof!”

She fell backwards, onto her bottom, then her eyes slowly rose upwards.

“… I don’t suppose… you’re willing… to… uhm… not kill me?”
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 15 :: Is What We Do Best)
Post by: JFC on August 25, 2007, 06:13:40 AM
Junjun likes Battle Royale = winnar :rockon:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 15 :: Is What We Do Best)
Post by: MyDearYossi on August 25, 2007, 01:01:03 PM
Only insane leaves the room if there's possibility to see Yossi changing clothes XD

Whuhuuu! Go Yossi! Save the world :rockon:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Chapter 15 1/2 :: Whoops!)
Post by: whytphyre on August 28, 2007, 03:15:02 PM
^^ Glad someone agrees with Junjun. On both counts *cackle*

Oh, and I forgot to add this part to the end of 15 and 14, so you get 15 and 1/2. I'll do 16 when school starts or something.


Chapter 15 and 1/2 :: Whoops!

“Was it really smart to send Sayumin out on her own?”

“No Gaki-san… but I didn’t want her to be here… it’s starting. Can’t you feel it?”

“Yeah…”

“I want you to know… that… no matter what happens, I’m gonna be here for you… okay?”

“I know. I’ll be here for you too. You’re gonna need it more. You’re the subleader.”

“… I miss the days when we were the newbies…”

“I don’t. Ai-chan, don’t miss those days. Just think ahead.”

“You’re always so uplifting.”

“It’s what I’m here for.”

“… But will everyone else be? We need everyone for this.”

“… There’s only one way to find out, isn’t there?”

“But we can’t bide our time.”

“What else are we going to do?”

“I don’t know… I … I just don’t know.”

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

“All the pieces are in play.”

“Saki… no more hurting people…”

“I get to watch now Momo… you didn’t get that, did you?”

“… I don’t know what you’re talking about…”

“Of course you don’t. Tsunku doesn’t tell anyone anything.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’ll see Momo. You’ll see.”
Title: Re: Nanakusa (Author's 'End' Note) - THE END?!
Post by: whytphyre on September 11, 2007, 10:41:27 PM
Double post update. Sorry. I just felt it needed to be said.

I'm at a crossroads in this fanfiction. Does this mean I'll stop the story? No. It means that this arc has 'ended,' leaving a lot of characters at a point that many readers (if I have any of those left) would kill me for if I went on in this route now.

And for all intents and purposes, if I just went on in the story the way I'm going now, none of you are going to like it. At all. However, the other choice that opened itself up to me is not a favorable one for you guys either.

Unless you like sequels that start.... later on, picking up not where the last one left off but months afterwards, ONLY explaining why the hell things are happening when someone looks back in a flashback.

And believe me, there will be flashbacks if I go the route. Too much would have happened for me not to want to.

To be perfectly honest... I'm stuck. I know there are ways I can go and just belt out a chapter... but I'd feel like I'm jipping you all. I'd rather you all confused, going on my roller coaster, with my best work, than something that's half as good. Make sense?

So, in a nutshell... I think I just talked myself into doing something by talking to all of you. You'll get more story. You just might not like the way it's packaged.

I will tell you who dies. Just one of them. The second one plays such a huge part in the storyline anyways, if I just told you, you would later on say 'now why the hell did you go and tell us that!?'

Mikitty

HIGHLIGHT FOR INFORMATION

If you don't want to know, don't highlight. If you do, then find out and yell at me for it 'cause I DO dare to go there.

Oh yeah, I do.

Till I write the new story of confusion,

~ whytphyre
Title: Re: Nanakusa (THE END?!)
Post by: Kreuz_Asakura on September 12, 2007, 12:02:27 AM
 :shock: :scared: :scared: :shock: :scared: :shock: :scared: :shock: :scared: :imdead:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (THE END?!)
Post by: JFC on September 12, 2007, 12:24:06 AM
No offense, but since you're stopping this fic, it's time for some harsh critiquing here. What I'm about to say next, I say in my capacity as an English teacher first, and as a fic fan second.

To be honest, the only reason I continued to read this fic was in hopes that somewhere along the line, stuff would start to make sense. However, that never happened. The way that the chapters appeared and what they covered was such a jumbled mess that, quite frankly, it's not surprising that you're calling it quits. You've started too many small story arcs and because you jump between them all so much, nothing is clear anymore.  You were no longer telling A story, you were trying to tell multiple stories at once, and you were doing it with TOO MANY stories.  There's no MAIN arc that ties all of the smaller arcs that you've started here together.

As I said in a previous post, one of the big problems was that you weren't writing things "1-2-3-4-5-6-7", but instead in something more like "3-5-1-7-6-4-2".  You say you did it because you like to keep your readers confused, but in doing so what did it get you? It got you an incomplete and incoherent story that has become as difficult for you to write as it is difficult for us readers  to try and comprehend.  When you deliberately try to be confusing in your writing, you lose readers. Readers like being kept in SUSPENSE, but they don't like being deliberately confused.  It's frustrating, and when readers are frustrated with a story, they stop reading it.  The problem with this fic is that the structure is overly-complicated, which lead to the story arcs degrading in quality. 

Look at some of the other fics here, and you'll see that the REALLY good ones (such as the Love x 2 series, Detonator M, All Aboard, etc.) don't jump around the way this fic does. These fics are the ones that us readers keep referring to as "crack". These fics are the ones where we readers keep begging for updates. Most importantly, these fics are the ones where there are multiple people repeatedly posting responses. These fics prove that you don't have to write your story like "3-5-1-7-6-4-2" to keep your readers on the edge of their seats.  Unlike this fic, the really good fics posted here begin at the beginning, work their way through the middle, and end at the end.  These fics prove that it's the strength of the story that keeps the readers coming back and that even if you write "1-2-3-4-5-6-7", you can still write things in such a way that will keep your readers guessing. Unlike this fic that has at least half a dozen different stories going on, the really good fics here usually they stick with one obvious MAIN arc, and at the most will have only one or two smaller side arcs.  They keep their structure simple, which allows them to focus on the actual arcs themselves.

One thing I always tell students when they're having to write a story, is that in terms of how they actually structure what they write, to follow the old "K.I.S.S." rule (i.e. Keep It Simple Stupid).  When you have a good, solid story to tell, and you do it in a way that is easy to understand, THAT is when your story will flourish and take a life of it's own.  I've known students who had planned on writing relatively short stories (say, around 5 pages), only to end up writing 20-30 pages because they just couldn't stop. And even for the odd time when they'd get a case of "writer's block", even if they never touched their stories for weeks, they could still easily resume it later because they kept the structure simple, and people that read it later couldn't tell that they took X amount of days/weeks between writing chapter 8 and chapter 9.

The K.I.S.S. rule. It works.

Title: Re: Nanakusa (THE END?!)
Post by: Amarghetta on September 12, 2007, 02:29:37 AM
whytphyre: JFC said much, but I won't. Your biggest success was frustrating us. Your failure, aiming for dadaism.  :-X

JFC: Man, that was painful... I'm glad we never met in the past, you'd have grilled me for sure!  :lol:
Title: Re: Nanakusa (THE END?!)
Post by: JFC on September 12, 2007, 02:54:39 AM
^ Well, you know what they say, you got to be cruel to be kind. :P  And like I said at the beginning of that post, no offense was intended. I just looked at it as an English teacher, and called it as I saw it. Whatever whytphyre does with it is completely up to him.
Title: Re: Nanakusa (THE END?!)
Post by: whytphyre on September 12, 2007, 12:45:36 PM
Again: I'm a girl. I know I don't mark it, but I didn't think I was that much of a guy >.>;;  :roll:

Secondly: I didn't write to get readers, in all complete honesty. I wrote to make myself happy. The next one's much better in organization (Which was why you saw 1-4-3-5-7 and maybe 2 if I felt like it.), considering I started that story's plot midway through the summer and am currently writing it all out now.

Besides, my mother would say the same thing if she ever read this (She kinda IS an English teacher) so I don't feel bad, and if you do I'll slap you with a wet noodle.

Anyways... the confusion in the next piece will probably come from me trying to explain what was supposed to happen this piece but didn't because I was lazy and didn't wanna write it... (And it's September, about a month since I wrote a chapter last. I had the ending in mind I knew exactly what and how. I just didn't like the idea of drawing it out.... so nyeh).

I won't guarantee that that fic will be any less confusing, or that 1-2-3-4-5-6-7 will happen, because I take my inspiration from the chaos (Ya know, stubborn like that), but I will promise that there will be LESS to keep track of up until chapter like 20. Then chaos, then resolution, then simplicity again. Maybe it might be easier to follow. With less to keep track of, one would hope (There'll only be 5 arcs instead of 7 that's for sure!)

And more freaking fluff. I got depressed with myself.
Title: Re: Nanakusa (THE END?!)
Post by: JFC on September 12, 2007, 06:37:19 PM
Quote
Again: I'm a girl. I know I don't mark it, but I didn't think I was that much of a guy >.>;; :roll:
My bad, I forgot. :P


Quote
Besides, my mother would say the same thing if she ever read this (She kinda IS an English teacher) so I don't feel bad, and if you do I'll slap you with a wet noodle.
Sounds like your mom and I are on similar wavelengths. :lol:


Quote
I won't guarantee that that fic will be any less confusing, or that 1-2-3-4-5-6-7 will happen, because I take my inspiration from the chaos (Ya know, stubborn like that), but I will promise that there will be LESS to keep track of up until chapter like 20.
That's fine.  Having less to keep track of will definitely make things easier to follow/understand.


Quote
And more freaking fluff. I got depressed with myself.
Fluff is always welcome. :rockon: