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Hello, welcome to my shot collections, I'll be posting my random shots here concerning any pair, be it unusual or popular ones. I hope you enjoy reading! The time of update is random, depending whether my imagination acts up. :lol:
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Sieka's Collections
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Table of Contents
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Stories
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Chinmoku
[ Status: On-going ]
[ Dedicated to sakura_drop_ ]
Chinmoku - Part I (BlackGeki)
Chinmoku - Part II (BlackGeki) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1010698#msg1010698)
Chinmoku - Part III (BlackGeki) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1012975#msg1012975)
Chinmoku - Part IV (BlackGeki) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1015840#msg1015840)
Chinmoku - Part V (BlackGeki) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1018461#msg1018461)
Chinmoku - Part VI (BlackGeki) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1021687#msg1021687)
Chinmoku - Part VII (BlackGeki) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1025682#msg1025682)
Chinmoku - Part VIII (BlackGeki) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1031061#msg1031061)
Chinmoku - Part IX (BlackGeki) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1037031#msg1037031)
Chinmoku - Part X-I (BlackGeki) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1071999#msg1071999)
Chinmoku - Part X-II (BlackGeki) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1113808#msg1113808)
Our Past Together
[ Status: Hiatus ]
[ Related to Chinmoku ]
[ Gekikara/Rena's POV ]
Our Past Together - Prelude (BlackGeki) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1013946#msg1013946)
Our Past Together - Part I (BlackGeki) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1019643#msg1019643)
Our Past Together - Part II (BlackGeki) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1076846#msg1076846)
Inequality
[ Status: Hiatus ]
[ Mayu's POV ]
Inequality - Prelude (MaYuki) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1019416#msg1019416)
Inequality - Part I (MaYuki) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1022882#msg1022882)
Stay By My Side
[ Status: Hiatus ]
Stay By My Side - Part I (TomoTomo) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1022327#msg1022327)
Sacrificial Ritual
[ Status: Hiatus ]
[ Kiriban Special Shot ]
Sacrificial Ritual - Preview (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1033294#msg1033294)
Sacrificial Ritual - Part I (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1034226#msg1034226)
What Matters the Most is You
[ Status: On-going ]
What Matters the Most is You - Part I (YukiRena) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1060371#msg1060371)
Segenfreude
[ Status: On-going ]
Segenfreude - Part I (Black-YukiRena) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1075754#msg1075754)
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Shots
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Sweets - (AtsuMina) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1016384#msg1016384)
I'll Reach You Again - (KojiYuu) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1017416#msg1017416)
A Break Time - (BlackGeki) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1040090#msg1040090)
Arigatou - (AtsuMina) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1041222#msg1041222)
I'll make it up to you - (TomoTomo) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1075030#msg1075030)
Unspoken - (AnniNaga) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1109330#msg1109330)
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Sieka's Update Progress
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Stories:
What Matters the Most is You - Part II = 15%
Chinmoku - Part X-III = Plotting...Rethinking...Analyzing...
Shots:
Beautiful Soul (one-shot) = 30%
Konna ni Chikaku de (one-shot) = 20%
Hold Me Close (one-shot) = 35%
Unexpected Love (one-shot) = 20%
Yuki (one-shot) = 47%
The Jealous Queen (one-shot) = 50%
Shattered Mirror = 40%
Chocolate Spice = 44%
Facade = 30%
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Kiriban
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Thanks for 439 page views! (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1011862#msg1011862)
Thanks for 1000+ page views! (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1016383#msg1016383)
Thanks for 2000+ page views! (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1021229#msg1021229)
Thanks for 3000+ page views! (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1025114#msg1025114)
Thanks for 4000+ & 5000+ page views! (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1033292#msg1033292)
Thanks for 7000+ page views! (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1042106#msg1042106)
Thanks for 10000+ page views!
(Next Kiriban: Aim for 15000+ page views!)
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Poll Results
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Poll # 1 - What do you want me to write after Chinmoku? (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1077657#msg1077657)
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A/N: I wrote this shot as a prize for guessing the write English translation of Divine Intervention's chapter 3, two people already got it correctly, and I'm doing the first prize for now before I go to the second one, I'll have to contact the second winner later on. Sorry if I didn't do right now. :(
Anyways, I wrote this is under what sakura_drops_ wants. I'm going to post the first part for now, I don't really want to post the whole thing in one go because its rather long, longer than all of the chapter updates I did.
I hope you enjoy reading, please look forward to the next parts of this shot! This is for sakura-san, I hope you enjoy this first part! :)
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Chinmoku
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Part I
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Light sounds of pitter-pattering echoed throughout the surrounding, the concrete pavement was drenched in rainwater and the breeze was cold and humid. There were a few passersby every now and then, but more often, no one could be seen walking around. It maybe because people hated to get wet, or because it was a hassle to travel around in this kind of climate, but for whatever reason it maybe, it made the whole surrounding silent.
It was very silent that it was deafening to the ears. The only things that one could probably hear are their sounds of respiration and the endless pitter-pattering of raindrops. That was just how silent it was. It was not like the usual days wherein the whole market is filled with chattering, footsteps and people.
The rain did not even make the situation better either due to how cold the temperature went down, even inside the small market store, Black could fill the chills that prickled her skin, making her shiver at the untimely visit of the rain. It was already nearing nightfall too, which only decreased the temperature even further, making it hard for the former heavenly queen to concentrate.
“It’s cold…”
Black let out a sigh, impatiently tapping her foot, watching her own breath take a white fog-like form under the cold climate, it was amusing how air could be seen under such circumstances where the temperature drops down, it may as well have been due to the movements of the molecules or anything irrelevant to the former queen. Whatever the reason maybe, it still did not change the fact that it was cold. Although the former queen knew that she was associated to darkness, hostility and coldness, Black was never great with this kind of climate under such apparel.
“If only I brought my jacket along…” Black mumbled, rubbing her hands in order to keep her dainty porcelain hands warm before she used them to rub her arms, feeling the small warmth it had to offer through her thin black tracksuit.
Black turned away from guarding the entrance and glanced at the wall clock, checking whether it was time for her shift to end, only to be disappointed at large sum of minutes she still has to wait. Black only resolved into watching the clock as its thin metallic hands moved ever so slowly, almost as if teasingly and mockingly testing the waiting raven-haired teen’s patience.
“I wish my swift would end soon…”
The raven folded her arms and looked away from the wall clock; she gazed down, finding the tiled floor to be much more amusing to stare at than guarding the entrance for any customers or thieves. Although guarding is not a part of Black’s job, she still kept it to herself that she would stay alert, knowing that robbery was spreading far and wide, especially in markets and establishments with large incomes.
Black did not like her job, nor did she hate it. The only main reasons why she is working are for her baby boy, herself and for their everyday financial needs, but more or less, what the raven wished for was to continue on being a high school student.
Black loved her high school days, those times where she spent endless days with the other heavenly queens and the president, fighting or relaxing in the wind instruments clubroom. She loved how even though she rarely communicates with the other queens or Yuko, they would understand her, no matter how weird her speeches might be at times due to the bible verses she spouts out.
They were also understanding and caring in their own little ways, the most fondest memory the raven could ever remember with them all as a group was when she was to give birth to her first baby. Yuko and all the other queens, except Sado were panicking over the littlest things, even from the slightest jerks or movements, or pains that Black felt; they would all start spouting curses or hysteric hand gestures.
She could still picture out their expressions perfectly well, as if it all happened yesterday. That was how memorable it was on that day when she gave birth to a life that is entwined to hers and a man whom has cruelly taken her virginity away from her.
At first, Black thought that no one would accept the child, giving the situation of how it was created, but surprisingly, the baby was accepted by a group of people she met through fighting. It was ironic how fighting bought her together with the people she cared for, when it was also fighting that broke the bonds she had with her parents due to her pregnancy.
It was ironic in a very cruel way, but nevertheless, Black never regretted what happened to her, because if her pregnancy did not occur then she might as well have not met the three queens, Sado and Yuko, and she did not like the thought of that.
To the raven, they were her light, strengthening what little faith and hope she had left at those darkest hours in her life, and they were her pillar that supported her to keep her life in place. She would have none of those thoughts of “Ifs” if it meant that she would just end up imagining them disappearing from her life.
All those thoughts would have been unbearable.
They are her family.
Losing them all in just one strike would likely be a repetition of how she had lost her parents because of her pregnancy. That was one of Black’s silent and torturous fears.
Their president, Yuko, was already dead, and it was one of the most saddest times she experienced in her life, she did not want a repetition of that. It would just hurt even more.
One of the queens already nearly faced death, and although most of them are prone to take on fights there was one certain queen that always kept Black’s mind restless. That said queen was held up from graduation due to certain misconduct, behavior problems and for near killing attempts, and out of all the four heavenly queens, she is the most feared fighter of all due to her insane and monstrous way of fighting and was seen by most Yankees as a threat. That was the very reason why the younger queen was stabbed and was currently recuperating in the hospital.
Gekikara however, being the crazy person that she is, sneaked out of the hospital to join the final battle between Yabakune and Majisuka Gakuen while Maeda Atsuko was still presently free from jail.
It slightly surprised Black to see the queen there, seeing as how Gekikara was still weak when she had last visited her. It eased the former queen to see the other girl move around even if she still had difficulties in moving and the obviously present IV drop on her arm, but after the fight, Black was unable to speak with the younger queen because Sado dragged Gekikara back to the hospital.
It was also the last the time she had gotten to see the shorter queen.
The days became weeks and Black no longer had time to visit Gekikara in the hospital due to her work and her baby, the only way that the former queen knew of the insane queen’s health was through the two new queens, Gakuran and Shaku whom often visit the market she works in.
Other than that, there was none.
“I wonder if she’s already released…”
“I wouldn’t be surprised though if she’s already out…she heals faster than all of us.”
Black pursued her lips and let out a sigh, her eyes gazing at anything around her without any real particular reason or interest. The market was still empty and silent. Nothing was out of the ordinary and for the time that she had been reminiscing and thinking, no one has yet to come by the market even when the rain turned into a drizzle.
The dark teen wrapped her arms around her frame ever so tightly and added friction and heat to her slightly shivering body.
Her everyday was just a repetition. It was already a routine.
Today was just slightly different. It was also cold today, and it was now already currently around six in the evening, her work was about to end after fifteen more minutes when suddenly and unusually, Black’s phone rang.
Black knitted her brows together into a frown, while she took her time to take out her cellphone from her pocket. Who would dare call her at this kind of time? It was rather out of the ordinary for the former queen to get any calls, normally because her email and cellphone number was only available to the three queens, Sado and Yuko.
Cautiously, the dark teen flipped her phone’s lid and took the phone call without even looking at the name of the caller.
“Hello, this is Kashiwagi Yuki speaking.” The raven answered politely in an almost cold and bored tone. Black had her arms crossed in front of her chest, looking almost impatiently while she kept the phone’s speaker on her ears.
“…………”
“Hello?”
“………”
“Is anyone there? I’m going to hang up if you aren’t going to answer.” Black asked in irritation, feeling bothered at the fact that no one was answering her. The raven waited for a few more seconds, but only met silence in her patient wait.
“I’m going to hang up now.” The former queen grumbled, she was really about to drop the call when she heard a small noise before it started to get louder. Black perked an eyebrow up, almost curiously and waited for some more. She was caught by surprise when she heard familiar bone chilling giggling that she had not heard for so long from the other end of the phone.
“Hello…Black…”
“Long time no talk…? Hehe…”
“Gekikara…”
“Please answer sooner next time.” Black sighed, dropping her arms to her sides. The raven let her lips curve into a small smile, feeling happy to hear the other queen’s voice after along time of not being able to talk to her.
Black heard the younger queen giggle happily with a few snickering accompanied before Gekikara answered in a singsong manner; her ever so present playfulness was there, much to the raven’s amusement.
“Hehehe… Are. You. Mad~?”
“I’m not mad.”
“Really?”
“Really…” Black answered in a definite tone, earning a small noise of displeasure from the other end of the line. The former queen suppressed a giggle from coming out of her mouth. She could almost imagine the other queen pouting, just like when she would not have her way on those occasions when Yuko or any of the other queens restricted her from doing something.
It made Black’s smile widen just by thinking of Gekikara’s expression.
“Uuu… You’re no fun…”
“I’m sorry? It seems you’re doing well now though.”
“You think so?”
“With you being playful, who wouldn’t think of it that way?”
“You’re always deducing things, Black…~”
“Rarely is now an always huh? I don’t deduce things.” Black said, faking a startled gasp, willingly playing the part of being offended with the younger teen’s playful accusation by defending herself from the other girl’s statement.
“Says…who?”
“Says me.”
“You aren’t going to convince anyone, Black.” Gekikara giggled from across the line before she softly hummed. The insane queen was somewhat pleased with herself when Black puffed out air in what seemed to be a sign of frustration for the former queen, not really knowing that the raven was playing along with her.
“I’m not trying to convince anyone, but anyways, why exactly did you call me? Is there anything you need from me?”
“Oh, hehe…that…”
“Are you free right now?” The other girl asked, almost anxiously.
The raven took a quick glance from the wall clock then at her approaching coworker. Black immediately left the counter and politely did a ninety degree bow before she took her apron with one swift movement and she walked her way towards the locker room in a sluggish manner, which was in contrast to her lighting fast movements.
“Well, technically yes. My shifts just ended now, why did you ask?”
“…Hmm…”
“Can you come here and pick me up?”
“Pick you up? Where?”
“Hospital.”
“Wait, I thought you were already discharged…?” Black blinked countless times in disbelief. Somehow finding it hard to take in that the other queen was still in the hospital when she was aware of the fact that Gekikara’s wounds heal faster than most of the other queens, or Yuko.
“I haven’t.”
“Why?”
“The doctors won’t release me unless a legal guardian comes and picks me up. They said that they won’t let me walk home on my own.”
“So…that means…you can’t go home?”
“Unn…Help me, if it’s not a bother?” Gekikara asked shyly in the most uncharacteristically manner Black had ever heard. Maybe it was due to the embarrassment of making the raven pick her up, making her seem like a child that couldn’t be left alone. Black did not mind this however, seeing as how the other queen did the same for her when she was in the hospital after giving birth.
“Okay… Stay there, don’t do anything unnecessary, I’ll come and pick you up.” Black answered positively, trying to make the younger teen feel that she was not a bother at all. If Gekikara were even currently there, she would have seen the raven’s charming smile.
“Unn… Thanks Black. See you…”
“Same to you too.” Black said, bidding the other girl a short goodbye before she cut the phone call and placed her cellphone inside her pocket. The raven quickly opened her locker and took out her small bag pack before tossing her orange work apron inside. The former queen then headed straight towards exit and started to walk towards the direction of the designated hospital.
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End of Part I
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A/N: That ends the first part! Gonna update as soon as I get the second part fully written down, I hope you enjoyed the shot so far...
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OMG!!! I'm busy right now, and it's a pity, coz I soooooooo want to read it. When I'll be back, I'll read it and comment.
THANK YOU, TGoF-san (aka Sieka)
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YAY! More Black and Gekikara!
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OMG. THIS.IS.AWESOME.
I LOVE THIS SOOOO MUCH.
YOU ARE TRULY THE GOD OF FANFICS!!!
:mon love: :mon love: :mon love: :mon love: :mon love: :mon love: :mon love: :mon love: :mon love: :mon love: :mon love: :mon love: :mon love: :gmon love2: :gmon love2: :gmon love2: :gmon love2: :gmon love2: :gmon love2: :gmon love2: :gmon love2: :gmon love: :gmon love: :gmon love: :gmon love: :gmon love: :gmon love: :gmon love: :gmon love:
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I never get tired of these kinds of fics, and your writing style is impeccably clean. :w00t:
It's amazing!!!
Yay for BlackGeki!!
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cant wait till u update its soo gd will there be other couples??
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WOOOOOOOTTTT!! I LOVE THISSSS!
Please write more. Omg. I love this.... ; w ;
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Hmm interesting start, seeing as how Black sees the rest of Rappapa as her family is sweet and how they were there for her, most of all perhpas Geki in her own way....
And Geki asking Black to pick her up, stating that she needs a gardian to pick her up, you would of thought it would be Sado but it seems as though Geki has chosen Black to be her gardian, for reasons that perhpas only Geki knows at this point......
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Finally found some time to visit here and get some quality reading time and first story I come across is :twothumbs :twothumbs
Gekikara is so cute asking Black to pick her up and not anyone else in Rappapa. Your writing is so nice and it flows so well, please write more. :bow:
Now I have to go and catch up with your other fics too, I miss so much in the past couple week, life is too busy *sigh*
Thanks for the lovely read, :on woohoo:
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A/N: I'm back, and I'm here to post Chinmoku's Part II! I hope I'm not making you wait, although I know I probably am, I'm already starting to write an update for The Beauty of Love's chapter
2 3 (Edit: Dayum...sorry, it's chapter 3 I mean, my memories failing me, it seems...sorry.) I hope by this week I can post it up. Anyways, thank you for the kind comments, thank yous and warm acceptance. Thank you very much! Before we get to the update, here is my replies to your comments!
Replies:
@sakura_drop_ - I'm glad you like it, even though its just the first part. ;) I hope you enjoy this second part of Chinmoku. :)
@kahem - Yay indeed! :D XD
@SharkAttack - Thank you very much! I hope I can continue to perk up your interest on these kind of fics! :)
@XxRoByNxX78 - I'm afraid that this shot will only be exclusive for BlackGeki. I'll try making other shots featuring other couples too though. ;)
@ShibuyaDokiDoki - Thank you so much, Shi-san! :twothumbs
@oddball - Geki's playing a bit vague on that part, as to why she called Black instead of the other queens, Black however doesn't seem to take notice or any suspicions of it because she wants to see Gekikara anyways. :lol:
@immortal_K - Thank you, oh great immortal for the comment. :nya: I hope you would enjoy this second part! :)
@anzai48 - Black/Yuki smiling is win win. :twothumbs
Now with that said, here's Chinmoku Part II! I hope you enjoy reading!
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Chinmoku
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Part II
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It was cold outside; maybe less colder than when it was raining, but still cold enough. Since the rain had stopped a few minutes ago, Black would occasionally see people walking around, she often see familiar faces like the ones that often go to the market she works.
She would stop by at times and greet them politely before walking back again.
It somehow became a habit for Black to greet others due to her work. Not that she mind the little exchange of greetings and politeness. It was an exhilarating change for her after all the years she spent being cold and up-guarded on almost everyone except the Rappapa members.
Travelling to the hospital however did not take long for Black though even with the occasional stops; it only took her mere minutes with her insane inhuman speed. It was a mystery how she got her speed and agility, even the Rappapa members knew nothing of how she had technically gotten her ability. All they knew is that it is her specialty.
Black entered the hospital, almost grandly when a few of the patients, staffs and visitors gazed at her in a mixture of awe and fear. Awe because of the raven’s beauty, and fear due to the color of her clothes. It did not take a genius to guess wholly how many are afraid of the color black; it went against the color of the clean pristine haven of the hospital and made the older teen stand out of the whole bunch.
Most of the people inside the receiving area thought of Black as an angel of death, and scooted away to make way for the raven. The former queen however did not mind the way the people acted around her and the stares she was casually receiving as she made her way towards the reception area.
“Hello ma’am, how may I help you?” One of the nurses in the reception area asked.
“Can I have Ms. Matsui Rena discharged?”
“If I may ask, are you…her legal guardian?” The nurse asked, almost doubtfully and anxiously. The nurse was somehow a bit irked to ask about status of guardianship, given how Black was so much younger than the nurse. Black caught on that however, but merely ignored the way the nurse acted and nodded.
“Yes I am.”
“I see. What is your name ma’am?”
“Kashiwagi Yuki.”
“Alright then, please wait for a minute Ms. Kashiwagi, I will call the doctor, but while you’re waiting, please fill up and sign this papers for me.” The nurse smiled at Black and handed her a few papers and a pen before she pointed out the necessary areas that the raven had to fill in. Black however being new to filling up the discharge papers asked a few questions to the nurse who willingly assisted and answered her every questions.
“Okay, I get it. Thank you.” Black gave a small nod before she bowed and left the nurse to call the doctor. The raven walked towards the aisle of chairs before she sat at the far end and fill in the papers before she idly placed them onto an empty near seat beside her and waited patiently.
After what seem to have been eternity, the same nurse who had tended to her, called Black back.
Black got out of her seat and went to the reception area. The raven spotted a female doctor, casually leaning on the counter, eyeing her cautiously before the woman smiled and approached the former queen.
“Ms. Kashiwagi, right?”
“Yes Doctor.”
“Good, I would like to inform you that Ms. Matsui’s stab injury is healing well and she’s in perfect health.”
“I see, that’s great news, but if I may ask, why is it that you did not release her?” Black nervously fumbled with the hem of her track jacket due to what the doctor might say. The doctor chuckled at Black’s little movements before she smiled comfortingly at the other girl.
“Relax. We are just expanding some safe precaution for our patients. It is our policy not to release a patient without any guardian to pick them up. I hope I did not scare you out of your wits.”
“Oh…” Black let out sigh of relief while the doctor merely gazed at her in amusement when Black stopped fiddling with her jacket. It somehow perked the older woman’s interest, but she decided not to comment on it any further, knowing that the younger teen had things to do.
“You can take Ms. Matsui home now, but just make sure she gets enough rest, vitamins and food, and everything will go perfectly well.”
“Thank you, doctor.” Black bowed her head for what seemed to be the nth time in the day before she walked off and flashed away once the doctor was out of eyesight. The former queen went straight towards the younger queen’s room in the blink of an eye and opened the door without even knocking or asking for the insane queen’s permission.
Black entered the room unceremoniously and almost immediately, the faint smell of chemical and dust wafted into her nose, making the raven scrunch her face in distaste. The occupant of the room merely giggled at the sight of the taller girl’s weird expression and gazed at her from her current location.
“It stinks doesn’t it?”
“It does, I still can’t get used to the stench of chemical and medicine even though I’ve been once been admitted to this hospital for who knows how long before.”
“Do you hate the smell though?” Gekikara asked. Her head tilted to the side with a small smile on her face. It made the younger teen’s facial expression cute and childish in a very appealing manner that it made Black smile a little.
“I do, the smell is too strong and I can smell a lot of mixed chemicals in the air. It’s almost painful to breathe.” Black’s lips curved into a small pained smile. The former queen slowly approached the younger queen, whom was currently sitting on the bed, before stopping in front of her, taking a seat on the vacant chair near the white pristine clean bed.
“Sorry, for making you come.” Gekikara murmured, her expression turned into a sad puppy frown, her lips in a pout while she kept her hands busy by idly fiddling with her fingers, staring worriedly at the older teen, but was met with a silent reassuring smile and a small shrug from the other girl.
“I’m fine. It isn’t a big deal.”
“Are you sure?”
The younger queen childishly stared at her, almost expectantly with jewel like brown eyes that sparkled under the light of the fluorescent bulb.
“I’m fine. Really, I have some doubts about you though, are you alright? You’ve been staying here for quite a long time already.”
“Hmm, I don’t really feel anything painful… I think I’m fine. Hehehe…” Gekikara grinned widely. This made Black shake her head and let out an exasperated sigh. The former queen already knew that that would be the insane teen’s answer, seeing as how she could not feel any single pain so she did not bother to press on that little detail, but still kept the concern she felt mirroring on her eyes.
“That’s fine then, but I wouldn’t want to expose you too much in this horrid smell any further. Let’s leave this place, shall we?”
Black stood up from her seat and reached out a hand towards the younger teen, Gekikara stared at the outstretched palm in front of her before she slowly reached up to that free hand and placed her hand on top of Black’s. Gekikara softly grasped on the warm dainty porcelain hand that grasped her own cold hand securely.
The insane queen looked up to gaze at the older teen’s face, her cheeks puffed up mumbling a question to her dark companion.
“Did they allow you to take me home…?”
Black slowly nodded, her lips forming into a rare genuine smile before it disappeared in an instant. That however did not go unnoticed to the childish younger queen.
“Of course they did. I would have resolved to scare them off if they didn’t.” Black jokingly said.
The younger queen giggled and stood up from the bed, affectionately swinging their hands from side to side in an almost childish way. Black did not bother to stop the gesture and played along with the other girl, finding her actions to be amusing and refreshing for a change.
“Gekikara, do you have anything you need to carry?”
“Nope.”
“Eh? Seriously?” The raven asked; her mouth agape and her eyes wide in apparent mixture of shock and disbelief. Gekikara only nodded before pouting when she saw the older teen frown.
“Why?”
“Gakuran and Shaku already took my clothes back home for me. They only left me with clothes to wear for today.”
Gekikara pointed to herself, making Black look at the younger queen’s form from head to toe, the insane queen was wearing a simple white button-up blouse, black shorts, knee socks and a simple pair of flat shoes. Black also noted that Gekikara’s hair was undone from its usual braided hairstyle and her bangs were parted on both sides, covering the two slash scars on her right upper eye. Her earrings were also missing and so were her bracelets and rings.
The insane queen looked so much different. Gekikara almost looked like an ordinary beautiful frail looking girl, and not the usual dangerous insane queen image she knew best.
Black stood there in silence, a bit impressed with the simple wardrobe that the younger girl was wearing. Gekikara looked so much more like her past self. It was almost nostalgic seeing her look that way.
The younger queen frowned and poked the former queen’s shoulder, almost worriedly when she noticed that Black suddenly turned silent.
“Black? Are you alright?”
“Hmm, I’m fine, was just thinking…” The raven reassuringly smiled at the other girl, Gekikara’s frown melted into a small-relieved look, a large grin etched on her lips. Black gave the hand on her own a soft light squeeze before she tugged her companion’s hand.
“Let’s go home now, shall we?”
“…Unn…”
Gekikara bobbed her head enthusiastically and followed the older girl out of the room, never letting go the former queen’s hand all the way out of the hospital even with the increasingly mixed looks of amusement, curiosity and disapproval of other people they saw and passed by. Black did not seem to care either; whether she was getting a lot of attention from people because to her, they were not of any importance.
She did not need to care what other people perceive of her because she was already used to getting disappointed gazes or sharp menacing glares from her parents. It hurts at first, but she had gotten used to it all too quickly. Black knew that she cannot do anything about it, and if she cannot please everyone then she might as well just please herself and the people who accept her the way she is.
Gekikara did not seem bothered either and was in fact happily swinging their hand as they walked, humming a small unfamiliar tune that felt pleasing to Black’s ear. Black found herself smiling as she continued to listen to the happy tune of the younger girl’s humming.
Black took a quick glance at Gekikara and saw the childish queen had her eyes closed; a large genuine smile free from any malice or mock taunt was on her beautiful face. The raven turned away, she could feel own lips form into a larger smile, but she did not try to hide it anyways.
Gekikara however seem to take an interest on the older girl’s smile when she gazed at the older girl, she instantly found herself drawn at the happy expression etched on Black’s face, which the former queen never truly expresses or let out in the open.
The insane, or rather, sane queen looked up at the skies. The smile on her lips never fading.
It was a cold night, but a very brilliant starry night. The dark clouds were already fading away, showing the millions of dazzling bright stars from up above. The moon was also faintly present from a distance, making the view breathtaking and ethereal.
It was a rare view maybe just as rare as Black’s smile. Gekikara mused before letting out a content sigh.
“You should smile more…Black.”
“Why?” Black whispered; it was soft and low, almost silent. The older teen had an inquiring look on her face, but with a smile present on her lips, not as large as the first, but it was still a smile.
“Why indeed~?” Gekikara asked in a singsong manner and paused, acting like she was thinking hard but was somehow failing miserably; it was rather comical that Black had to stop herself from giggling.
Gekikara turned to the raven and stared at her, her expression almost too serious that Black stopped walking. Black blinked in confusion and was about to ask why when the younger queen’s serious expression turned into a childish happy look.
“Hehehe, I think you look just really beautiful when you do.”
“I like it when you smile.” The sane queen pointed out, without any hint of embarrassment in her tone. In fact, the shorter teen proudly declared her complement, startling and making Black fluster.
The former queen of darkness turned away from Gekikara, her face flushed in a bright color of crimson red, almost too noticeable even under the darkness that covered the streets where they were walking on.
Black wanted to thank the other girl, but somehow, her voice failed to come out of her mouth. She was too dumbfounded to speak, Gekikara caught her off guard and she could not think of anything at all but the younger queen’s sweet simple words.
Gekikara did not mind that the older teen stood there in silence, she found the other girl’s sudden silence to be pleasing. It just meant that Black was hit hard with her words; it only made Gekikara want to smirk triumphantly for whatever unimaginable joy she felt inside her heart.
Feeling an unknown force from heaven knows where pushing her as if encouragingly, Gekikara took the silence between her and Black as an opportunity to continue on talking finding herself having the courage to talk.
“I really like it when you smile. You almost never smile, after you got pregnant. You may do it once, but you often try to suppress it.”
“You often always suppress your emotions, Black. Even after Yuko-san died…you never cried.” Gekikara solemnly added, looking down sadly, remembering the death of their former Rappapa president and how Black kept strong and held back her tears. She kept strong along with Torigoya. They did not shed a tear and stood firmly with their chins up; they stood strong for the other Rappapa members on that sad day.
Gekikara knew the pain although her heart wasn’t screaming from the physical pain; her emotions were hurting at that time, she knew that it was the same for everyone. She cried along with Shibuya and Sado because of the pain of losing their beloved leader.
When the younger queen remembers that day, she felt like wanting to tear up, because she lost a great leader and friend, and because she did not like how Black kept her emotions suppressed.
“I wish you would show yourself more. I wish you would express your emotions more.”
Gekikara grasped the older girl’s hand tightly and sadly gazed at Black, who kept silent, not knowing what to say, not even wanting to speak. She was all too caught up with the sudden unusual confession from Gekikara.
“You don’t have to continue on being like this.”
“You don’t need to lock yourself up in a cage anymore.”
“You don’t need to hold onto the pain, just like what you did with your parents.”
Gekikara bit her bottom lips, asking, begging, trying to convince the older girl to let go. The sane queen was almost trying to tear open the wounds in the past that was still just turning into a scar.
Black did not know why it came to this all of a sudden, why the younger girl was starting to get desperate. They never touched this topic before, before and after her pregnancy. However, with Gekikara resurfacing the issues that Black was desperately trying to keep out of her head, the former queen could not help but purse her lips into a tight sad frown.
The raven wanted to ask why, why Gekikara was doing this, why she’s bringing this up.
Black did her very best to keep this topic from resurfacing, even to the point of beating someone half to death whenever they try to ask her who the father of her child was. She did not want to remember even though her thoughts collided onto this unpleasant memory, just hours ago when she was still working.
Of course, it hurts her feelings when she thought of it, but it only hurts more when Gekikara was trying to talk to her about it.
“Please, Black…Yuki…return back to how you were before…” Gekikara said. Her hands reached up and grasped Black’s shoulders, pulling the older girl closer to her, their faces only inches apart.
“Remember what kind of person you were before… Remember who you are, the kind, cheerful and positive person that I met and helped me up.”
The younger girl stared desperately at the former queen’s shining black orbs with her own brown ones. The shorter queen’s expression was dead serious, almost a bit afraid and uncertain at the same time.
Black did not look away, she could not look away. Even though her mind was telling her to look away, to cut off the other girl’s speech, Black’s body did not move. Her body defied what her mind was screaming her to do. Instead, Black kept her silence and listened.
Gekikara let out a shaky breath and swallowed a visible lump forming on her throat, dreading Black’s reaction. The next words that Black heard coming from Gekikara’s lips caused Black’s eyes to widen in horror.
“I already took care of the person who did this to you.”
“…I already destroyed him…”
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End of Part II
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<<------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->>
A/N: This ends Part II of Chinmoku, there's still a Part III, I don't know whether it will be the last part, but please sit tight and wait for it! It may answer a few questions concerning around Gekikara and Black, or what past they have.
Anyways, thank you for reading, see you in my next update!
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Oh good job Gekikara that guy deserved it!
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Geki.... you are good job. You are good job indeed. NOW MAKE BLACK YOURS!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA
*cough*
ME GUSTA!! Please update soon! I can't wait! > w <
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omg gekikara so sweet an amazing she is only like this with black awww
and black not holding her smile back soo cute
thanks for the update and great ideas!
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OMG, THIS IS SOOOOOO PERFECT!!!!
Gekikara's sweetness melted my heart and made it fluffy, hehe
And Black's caring for her friend made me smile
AND Geki took care of that bastard!!
Even though I'm happy, I dunno how Black will react...
Update when you can!!!
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Wow Geki too care of the 'bastard' I wonder quite what geki thinks about that...... Seems as though Rena wanted to do it, though for Black, for herself? And is it just a freindship think or, perhpas something else......
Aw Geki being sweet with Black, whilst odd was definatly cute, a side only Black truly see's perhaps?
And Black being caring to Geki, seems aslmost as if it is second nature to her now but at the same time a task she gladly does....
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“I already took care of the person who did this to you.”
“…I already destroyed him…”
Glad to hear that~ (http://forum.jphip.com/Smileys/default/mon_evillaff.gif)
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This not an update. Nope it isn't. Just some kind of kiriban thing. I'm just here to post my thanks with a drawing. I drew this today, while I was still sleepy. Drew it at school while I had nothing to do. Forgive the crappy one whole pad paper, the red ballpen ink and my crappy artstyle. XD
Anyways, that said...
Thanks for the 439page views!!
(http://img32.imageshack.us/img32/4599/scan0002ug.jpg)
Please continue to stick with this procrastinating writer!
A note though, I'll update the next part of this shot, Part III of Chinmoku by this week. I do think that this shot won't be finished by just part III, I think it'll most likely go up to Part IV, so please be patient with me in this shot, I'm sorry if I'm boring you out...? Um yeah, anyways, see you next update!
I'm gonna aim for 1000+ page views next time and make another kiriban picture or shot...whatever I'm thinking. XD
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THIS... :on blackhole:
THIS IS SOOOOOOOOOOOOO AWESOME!!! :luvluv1: :luvluv1: :luvluv1: :luvluv1:
I envy you your drawing skills... :on cloudeye:
*sulks in a corner while snuggling with a printed version of the picture above*
Anyway, please draw more!!!
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I wanna draw lile this too ^^
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your drawing is so good :on GJ:
you should make BlackGeki comic XD
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^ I totally agree, you should definitely make a BlackGeki comic/manga :wub: :wub: :wub:
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O.O I feel bad for always being so late with my comments, but better late then never right :twothumbs
WOW THAT DRAWING IS AWESOME!!!!!!!!!! :wub:
Awww so cute, GekiBlack holding hands leaving the hospital, I can totally imagine Geki skipping out with Black. Thank god Gakuran and Shaku already took her stuff home leaving her with free hands to hold Blacks keke.
Hmmm seems like Black means a lot more to Geki then MG showed us LOL. OH OH she took care of the dude YAY :twisted:
I hope Black can listen to Rena and regain some of her past self, it's too hard to continue to suppress emotions and feelings.
It takes a lot of strength to do it and the pressure of the bottled up emotions can be very dangerous. It caused a lot of people
to lose themselves.
Thanks Sieka, I enjoyed this Part II and will be waiting in the shadows for Part III :twothumbs :twothumbs
(I might be late as usual... been occupied by something call work and school.... :banghead:)
*Merges back into the shadows*
~imo-k
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A/N: It's update time! I'm back and I'm here to wave the flag. Wuaha... This week was rather a busy week for me, I'm sorry, I had a lot of problems and projects that I had to resolve. I had exams and some tests this week and I'm actually glad that I got over them with good grades. XD
If anyone's wondering what Kiriban is, it means pausing in a good number, I think. So I'll be having another Kiriban at 1000+ page views, what I'll post for that Kiriban is something random, it might be another drawing or a shot.
Hmm...since we're up to Part III, I want to discuss to you about Gekikara's personality, you all might seemed to be a bit uneasy or you might find it odd why Gekikara acts like this. I'll give you a few reasons why she acts like this and what exactly am I thinking for her personality.
Reasons:
- Gekikara has a past with Black, before Rappapa even started, before she even met Yuko.
- The reasons why Gekikara is odd, childish and sweet is simply because I kind of deducted that people with insanity or mental problems are mostly either sweet and childish or violent and dangerous. I picked the former because it seems to fit Gekikara perfectly well, given how much she acted in MG II, wherein she tries to keep her promise of graduating and also her concern and worry for Gakuran, who took the battle with Shibuya that was supposedly meant for her. She also has this cute childish scene in ep 1 where she was supposedly studying and she snapped her pencil. :lol:
- I think Gekikara fits being an odd sweet and childish queen when she's sane, mostly because I can't picture her being suave.
Anyways, so much for that. Thank you for still reading, commenting and giving me thanks, please stick to me until the end of this shot and until another start of a new shot. Thank you very much!
Replies:
@kahem - You sure seem to like the idea of the guy being beaten to a pulp by Gekikara. Also, practice is the key to good art? Hahaha, I'm sure you can draw like that to! :)
@ShibuyaDokiDoki - Impatient, are we not, Shi-san? :lol:
@XxRoByNxX78 - Thank you for commenting! :D
@sakura_drop_ - I'm glad you like it, though I'm not really sure if it was that sweet...? I still hope that I fulfilled a part of your request. ^ ^
Eh? Thank you for complementing my drawing, but please don't envy my drawing skills, its still very poor. XD" Comics though, not sure about that...I don't think my art is up for something like that.
@oddball - Gekikara does want to do it, for a long time, maybe? Also, the relationship between Gekikara and Black and why their acting like that with each other has a background story, they actually had a past together. :)
@RenaChii - I love your avatar. :lol:
@yukofan - Thank you for the complement...eh, comics? I don't think I can do that yet. :(
@immortal_K- Your comment will always be valid to me, commenting a story is never too late or too early, immortal-san! :) Gakuran and Shaku are Gekikara's caretaker and small friends, they seriously care for our queen, you can say that in a week, they would visit as much as they can. XD
Yes, Black does mean a lot to Gekikara here, they have a past together, before they even met Yuko and the other Rappapa queens. Gekikara of course knows Black more than what the others think she does, so her concern over Black is reasonable.
Now that I finished replying to your comments, here's Part III of Chinmoku! Hope you enjoy reading! XD
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Chinmoku
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Part III
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Two girls stood in the middle of an empty street under the starry night sky. It was cold and dark, but the two continued to stand still like statues. There was silence between the two, as well as the too much noticeable atmosphere that was tense and hard.
The shorter of the two was grasping firmly onto the tall raven’s shoulders, almost afraid of letting go, feeling the uncertainty that was uneasily eating away in her heart. Although she is a strong Yankee that does not mean that Gekikara did not have any fears.
In fact, Gekikara was dreading for the former queen’s reaction. Gekikara knew what fear is. She had already learned how and what she feared for the time that she had almost faced death. It made her stomach lurch back almost unsettlingly because she is currently facing the fear she has for Black, the fear of being rejected and hated.
Gekikara waited patiently for what seemed to be eternity, but was in fact seconds, when the older girl finally recovered from the initial shock and pain of younger girl’s confession.
Black looked away from the shorter queen and lowered her head, her lips pressed into a tight flat line. The former queen’s bangs covered her eyes, making it vague for Gekikara to know what the other girl was feeling. It only served to increase the dreadfulness that started to build-up in the sane queen’s heart when the raven opened her mouth and started talking.
“Why…”
“Why did you do that…?” Black whispered; her tone was cold, harsh and firm. The raven’s hands were clenched tightly on both of her sides. She kept her gaze on the concrete pavement and stood still, she just could not find it in herself to look at Gekikara.
Not now.
Not with this hanging up in the air.
Gekikara shook her head helplessly and looked away from the other girl, slowly loosening the firm grip she had on the other teen’s shoulder. The sane queen refused to talk and resolved onto chewing her bottom lip.
Black clenched her jaw when her question was met by silence, yet she continued into pressing the other girl by repeating her question, this time, the raven did not hold down her voice and shouted, almost uncharacteristically.
“Why did you do that?”
“Do you know what you’re doing?” Black questioned angrily, the raven took a short pause and inhaled shakily. Black’s hands continued to be clenched tightly; both were trembling, as if willing themselves to release the tention, yet Black held onto her desire to hurt Gekikara and her hands remained in their current position.
“Out of all the things you could do…why did it have to be that?”
“There’s no more point in delving into that issues, yet why are you trying to dig it up?”
The former queen shook her head in disapproval while she ran her hands through her soft black tresses, trying to ease whatever impending headache was making its way into her senses.
Gekikara merely shuffled her foot on the concrete pavement as she continued to listen to every word Black spoke. The younger queen could still not look up and face Black.
Insane as she could possibly act and think at times, Gekikara was still sane. No matter how violent she could get or how her temper acts up quicker than her rationality, she was still sane. That is the very reason why Gekikara was still able to continue living, because she was sane. She knew whom she owed her sanity.
The shorter girl owed her sanity to Black.
If not for the older girl’s calming voice and presence, Gekikara’s mind would be in total chaos. In truth, without Black’s help two years ago, she might as well have been dead before she could even meet Yuko or the other three queens.
It is the very reason why Gekikara respected Black. It is the very reason why she loves the older teen’s presence and her warmth, and although insane as she may come out in front of all the other fighters she had pulverized, the sane queen knew how much the other girl meant to her.
She owed Black her life.
She owed the raven everything that she is, and everything that she had. Black probably might not even remember what she had done two years ago, but Gekikara knew it very well.
There would not be any point now in her life if Black hates her. Yuko is already gone, and the other queens are moving on with their lives. Gekikara, however, was still stuck in the past, unable to move forward in the present and look ahead into the future.
Her present and future was already chained and locked up. She knew, trying not to care, that she had met a dead end for a long time ago.
The future had nothing in store for the sane queen but without caring, without wanting to care about that matter, Gekikara wanted to make a future for the other girl, even if Black would disapprove of it.
Yet it hurts.
It hurts.
Disgust and disapproval hurts.
If physical pain did not hurt her, emotional pain can kill her.
…That is why Gekikara did not look up.
She knew that there would not be any point to look into the other girl’s eyes if it meant that she just have to see that disapproving, unpleased and angry eyes. It would just hurt emotionally to see those expressions that Gekikara did not want any Rappapa members, especially Black, to bore onto her frail looking figure.
“It’s pointless…”
“What you did was pointless, Gekikara.” Black said.
The former queen was too angry that she did not even seem to notice the younger queen’s inner struggle or how Gekikara’s expression contorted to an agonizing expression when she heard Black’s words.
“It wasn’t pointless.”
“He deserved it.” Gekikara whispered, almost in a hushed manner.
“Yet you shouldn’t have done that.”
“Such occurrence was not needed.”
Gekikara’s eyes widened at the older raven’s statement. Immediately, the sane queen looked up and stared at Black, disappointed and at the same time hurt that the other girl was declining the justice she was serving her.
“But he needed to be punished…!”
“After all this time that you’ve suffered because of him…he deserved what he got!” Gekikara shouted, reasoning out whatever little ideas her brain could process and what little restrain she could afford to hold onto.
“Look… Don’t put justice into your hands Gekikara.” Black countered back.
“Why?”
“Why can’t I?”
“If I have the power to do so, then why can’t I?!”
The sane queen looked down and glared at her own pair of feet, trying to restrain herself from acting violently, knowing that the tension between her and Black was rising to the point that it could get dangerous the moment she let temper get the best of herself. Gekikara never had a battle with Black, not once before.
Whether Black’s fighting prowess was aligned with her own was still undetermined and Gekikara did not want to find out who is stronger between her and Black.
Not like this.
Due to the raven’s own anger, Gekikara too was affected drastically by her temper and without a warning; she started reacting onto the emotional force that was pushing her. The younger queen however only resolved to stomp her feet in anger, throwing up a tantrum rather than acting brutally.
“If I can fight and destroy him then why shouldn’t I put justice into my hands?” Gekikara hissed; the younger queen scrunched her face into angry scowl.
Suddenly, Gekikara stood still, and almost eerily, the younger girl’s face turned from a scowl and into a blank expression. The next thing the shorter queen did was look into Black’s pure dark orbs and asked in an almost frighteningly emotionless voice:
“Why can’t I?”
Black furrowed her brows and looked away, disturbed, too disturbed. Yet the older teen still kept herself on ground. There was no point in backing down, there was no point in fearing Gekikara’s odd silence, or how she was almost trying to trigger the shorter queen’s insanity.
“Because it’s wrong, Gekikara.” Black shortly reasoned out. It did not convince Gekikara though. It only caused the current heavenly queen to hurl out a series of loud insane laughter, which filled the silence that filling the whole street they took.
“Wrong? Hehehe…hahaha!”
The shorter teen grabbed a fist full of her hair and pulled onto her black tresses, still giggling madly as she took heavy wobbly steps forward to the alarmed raven. The younger queen’s resistance was almost ready to snap, as well as her current state of saneness.
“Wrong you say?”
“As if what he did to you wasn’t wrong!” Gekikara spat, the tone of her voice was venomous, almost too dangerous that Black had to back away when the younger girl tried to approach her.
The angry insane queen did not stop. Nor did her steps falter. She continued to walk forward with heavy angry footsteps, her hands reaching up in a limping manner towards Black.
“I saw him once when I sneaked out the hospital, I saw him! I had to destroy him!”
“He was there, he was happy. He was snickering and yapping happily with his friends like the damned bastard he is!”
Black moved backwards, almost instantly when she saw the younger queen was too close. Black took a couple of step back. Black did not even remember that she had the ability to run at the speed of light, she just forgot it.
Her mind was drawing a blank, and no matter how much she wanted to try to think, her mind could not come up of any thoughts. She was dumbfounded at the shorter girl approaching her, even to the point where her eyes could not look away from the frail looking figure approaching her.
Black still tried to keep a safe distance away from Gekikara, away from the younger girl’s hands. The raven’s back unfortunately however met the cold hard wall, trapping herself with no way out when Gekikara placed both of her hands on both side of Black’s head.
“…You told me it’s wrong? Right, Black?” Gekikara brought her face close to Black’s and whispered in a hushed tone.
Both of the two teens were close together, and from an outsider’s perspective, they would probably think that the two were probably going to kiss, but they were not. Their faces were just inches apart from each other, bodies pressed close, but the tension was vividly present.
“G-Gekikara…” Black stuttered, feeling the younger girl’s warm breath tickling her face.
They were close.
Too close even that Black could feel Gekikara’s whole body on her’s, or how warm she is. What Black took notice the most was the younger queen’s shining brown orbs, which were unreadable, something that doesn’t normally happen since Gekikara was rather open in expressing her feelings through her eyes.
Black also did not forget to take notice of the shorter queen’s overall appearance.
Even though Gekikara’s appearance was that of the frail bookish girl she met in school two years ago at this current moment, this person in front of her was giving off a dangerous aura, an aura that she had always felt when she was still a student in Majisuka.
The aura was that of the dangerous and monstrous violent queen of Rappapa, the side of Matsui Rena that brought forth calamity in its wake.
Black knew immediately that Gekikara’s sanity from a while ago had snapped, and was now in her usual state of insanity and hazardous behavior.
In the flesh is the insane Gekikara.
“Hahaha…hehehe…ahahaha!”
Gekikara smiled almost annoyingly; her eyes half-lidded as she released a giggle. The younger teen pulled back one of her hands and brought it to her mouth, slowly biting her fingernails, making loud audible clicking sounds that pierced the remaining silence between the insane queen and the former queen of darkness.
“Say…Black, maybe it’s you who’s wrong?”
“Or maybe it’s something else…” The insane queen murmured darkly to herself. The large grin on her face was gone and was replaced by a sad scoffing expression.
“Tell me…”
“Do you love him?” Gekikara mumbled, almost as if pleadingly without even meaning to.
Gekikara did not even notice that she had stopped biting her fingernails and had placed them now on the wall. She did not even notice that she was making mixed expressions due to the onslaught of emotions that Black could not comprehend.
What Black could understand however was her question.
She found it odd as to why Gekikara would ask about that, much less think of that. The thought of it was almost sickening that Black wanted the shorter girl to stop, but Gekikara did not stopped.
“Is that why you don’t want me to destroy him?”
“Gekikara.”
“You do love him, don’t you?” Gekikara tilted her head sadly, her lips pursed in a tight line, her eyes staring straight into Black’s own charcoal colored eyes, searching, hoping and yet dreading that the other girl did felt that way.
“Stop it.” Black said uneasily under the insane queen’s searching eyes.
The raven automatically raised her hand, grasping the clothes beneath her chest, almost as if wanting to grasp a hold onto her heart. Her heart was painfully unsettled and was beating furiously inside her that Black just wanted to crush her own heart.
Black did not like the feeling that her heart was receiving; it was like being prickled by needles of who knows how much their amount was.
She hated the feeling of this kind of pain.
Her heart was hurting so much, desperately, almost pleadingly trying to catch her attention, making her want to relieve the painful ache in her chest but Gekikara made it hard for her when all her mind could process was the younger queen’s sorrowful voice.
“You love him right?”
“Hehehe… Right, right…” Gekikara glumly laughed, not even waiting for Black to reply as she said those words, almost convinced. The tone in her voice was obvious, she was in pain, disappointed and melancholic, her head kept shaking every now and then in her own self noted disappointment.
‘Why does my heart hurt so much…?’ Black asked herself in the back of her mind, almost silently. She did not even bother deny or clarify Gekikara’s answers. Her mind was too distraught between the pain that she felt in her heart and the pain that was dreadfully prickling her head that her mind did not even register the question that the younger queen uttered.
Gekikara of course took the former queen’s silence as an automatic agreement to her statement.
“You do love him…” The younger queen smiled sadly, she looked almost too heart clenching.
“G-Geki…kara…?” Black let out a pained hoarse mumble. The hand on her chest that was clenched tight slowly loosened its grasp. The raven gazed worriedly, almost a bit confused and oblivious why the other teen was making such a face. She did not even think that she might have been the cause.
Gekikara stood still; she helplessly closed her eyes tightly and let a small sniffle. She clenched both of her fists; she clenched them hard, as if wanting to hurt herself, almost as if wanting to draw out blood. Wanting, needing, and wishing that something could come to erase the depressing thoughts in her chaotic mind.
It hurts.
It hurts.
Those words continued to repeat in Gekikara’s mind.
It hurts.
It hurts…so much.
Those words continued, tormenting her already sullied damned soul.
Please, stop, it hurts…
The pain was too much. It was almost like her soul had been wrapped around with thorn stems of roses. She could almost hear her own voice hoarsely screaming and shouting those words in pain. Almost like what she had done in the past.
Gekikara wanted to open her eyes and look at Black, she wanted to see her, her heart pleading for the younger queen to see the older girl, but she was afraid to open her.
Gekikara’s eyelids started to falter, twitching every now and then, yet the younger queen kept her eyes shut.
Black would just see the despair and confusion that were apparent in her eyes. The raven teen would see, no, she would discover the hidden affections Gekikara desperately tried to bury underneath her childlike attitude and display of insanity.
The older girl would just reject her, she would find her disgusting, maybe even worst, Black would abandon her.
Right, who exactly would love someone like her?
She was all that all the other people thought of her. She did not care, or rather, she did not want to care about what they said, but the very thought that Black might as well say something like that to her was making her fear for the worst.
Disgusting.
Monstrous.
Sinful.
Unloved.
Unwanted.
That was her, that was Gekikara, and to an extent, the past her, Matsui Rena. That was what Gekikara’s or rather, Rena’s parents and relatives said.
She was the root of all the evils in their family. She was the black sheep. She was the plague.
No one would love a burden.
No one.
Her affections were hidden from view because of those very reasons.
She, as Matsui Rena, could never word out her love for the other girl, but as Gekikara, the insane monstrous queen, she could act affectionately under the guise of her childish attitude and mental problem.
That was the reason she acted absurdly. That was the reason why she sticks to Black, because everyone knew that Black acted like a guardian to her. That was also might have been the reason why Black takes care of her.
She is a tainted human: a devil, a coward and a liar.
She was taking advantage of this insanity. She was taking advantage of the lies that have already piled up for who knows how long.
Gekikara knew herself; she knew what she wanted, and she wanted Black, both by heart and body.
If Black were to belong with someone, she would not take it. It was hard to let go of her. She would not have any of that if it happens.
Even if that time is now.
Gekikara slowly opened her eyes and stared at Black in silence, admiring the raven’s ethereal beauty. This girl with her silent beauty, her lovely expressions and her cold deep voice, yes, this girl. This girl who had captured her heart.
Yes, that’s her.
That’s Black, the girl who unknowingly crept inside her heart and made a large special place in her once dead cold and grudge-holding heart.
“It’s not fair…” Gekikara whispered in a small trembling voice. She clenched her jaw, trying to stop herself from shaking, trying to stop herself from wanting to tear up.
“It’s not…fair.”
She drew a noticeable deep long breath before she slowly leaned forward to Black. Slowly, she withdrew her hands before encircling her arms around the raven’s slim waist, pulling her close into a tight embrace, startling Black due to the sudden gesture.
“Not fair…?”
“What…do you mean?”
Black blinked a couple of times in bewilderment and turned her head a little over to look at Gekikara, but alas, the younger girl’s face was hidden from view for the shorter queen had buried her face onto Black’s shoulders.
“…You won’t understand…” Gekikara mumbled in a small weak muffled voice.
The younger queen’s shoulder shook slightly ever so often, but Gekikara stood still, she did not let go. She did not break her contact with Black. The insane queen held onto Black, tighter and tighter, almost to the point of hurting her, and almost as if she was clinging for dear life.
“You won’t…”
Gekikara pulled herself from Black, almost too suddenly when she spoke those words.
It was odd. Black thought in worry, noticing that Gekikara had lost her luster; she was much more gloomier, which was really unusual, it was as if she was depressed, as if she was like her past self. The younger teen looked so much like a dejected child with her head bowed down, looking down ashamed and disgusted.
“I won’t understand anything if you don’t tell me.” Black said softly, her tone gentle, kind and motherly, her anger almost invisible, Black pushed away the anger that she still kept inside her and decided that the issues about the man and that was to be pushed aside and to be left forgotten.
Gekikara opened her mouth, before closing them back. She was tempted to say those words; she was tempted to let Black hear her about her affections and her worries. The raven’s words were too much convincing yet it was almost sickening to Gekikara’s gut how much the tone of Black’s voice was like of a cold sharp knife pressed onto her neck.
Seeing the shorter queen’s hesitation, Black tried to offer a comforting hand to Gekikara, yet Black herself was hesitant, her hands were trembling as she reached for the other queen. Gekikara somehow surprised her when she suddenly jolted at the slightest movement Black made before she looked up and stared at her with hazy darkened brown eyes.
“Are you–“ Black spoke, and was about to ask, but her words were suddenly cut when she felt hands grabbed her shoulders and her body pushed hard on the concrete wall. The raven let out a startled and pained gasp, her eyes automatically shut tightly when she felt the pain on her back.
It was surprising, everything happened fast. Black was caught off guard, she could not keep up with the suddenness. It just struck her. Black did not even had the time to react or to adjust herself from the pain.
Because the next thing happened, really gave Black the biggest surprise in her life.
It was unexpected and it felt foreign.
She felt something soft, warm and moist on her lips, gazing and pressing on her own cherry pink lips. Black gasped softly, too softly when she felt something warm and wet grazed her lips slightly before it parted her lips in ease.
Black felt breathless, she felt hot all of a sudden. She did not know these foreign feeling, and yet her body was accepting it, as if it knew what was intruding her, as if it knew what was exploring the cavern of her mouth, or how it suddenly grazed onto her own tongue.
Black’s eyes widened in reflex at the sudden stimuli she received. She did not meant it, but she opened her eyes and she saw something with her two crystal clear eyes.
Someone was in front of her.
Black’s expression morphed quickly into a startled and flabbergasted expression.
Too close.
Too close.
Gekikara was too close to her that the distance between them was no longer present.
Too close that they were in fact…kissing.
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End of Part III
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<<------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->>
A/N: That ends Part III of Chinmoku, I'm sorry if its long and also for being an evil writer and cutting off the scene. A cliffhanger is a cliffhanger, I actually like cutting the scenes. XD Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this part..... Part IV will come up next, maybe next week? I wonder if this shot will end there though, I'm not entirely sure. I wouldn't call this a one-shot anymore, given how much many the parts are now. Aw... X3"
I also decided not to add BlackGeki's past, maybe in some other shot so that I can give much more focus on it. It would be bad if I don't give their past some good focus after all... I kind of like the idea that's formulating in my head. :3
EDIT: (Omg...I'm really clumsy sometimes.... Just edited something. Uwah...)
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dslkhjfkadshf MY FANGIRLING IS ALWAYS IMPATIENT~!!! 8D
Oh my sdkijfsadf THEY KISSED! O 3 O
Oh Black.. please accept Gekikara ; w ;
Please continue~!!
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*is speechless*
--after a few hours passed--
*stares in awe*
--after a few more hours passed--
*sulks in a corner because already wants to read the continuation*
--after a few other hours--
*cheers and shouts 'BlackGeki' while jumping all around*
Update soon!!!
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my god . . . .
I REALLY! LOVE! THIS! KIND! OF STORY!! (http://forum.jphip.com/Smileys/default/mon_crazyinlove.gif)
LOVE ANGST!! (am I right?)
PLEASE UPDATE SOON!!! (http://forum.jphip.com/Smileys/default/kneelbow.gif) (http://forum.jphip.com/Smileys/default/kneelbow.gif) (http://forum.jphip.com/Smileys/default/kneelbow.gif)(http://forum.jphip.com/Smileys/default/kneelbow.gif)(http://forum.jphip.com/Smileys/default/kneelbow.gif)
@RenaChii - I love your avatar. :lol:
and Thank You~
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omg they kissed ahhhh so gd cant wait till u update !
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Woooooooooooow!!!!! Go Geki go!!!
You cut at the best moment! Lol
I don't think I can draw well because I'm not patient xD
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YES! The pain is killing Geki! :twisted: Please make her feel more pain, so that if something happens to her, Black will regret everything terribly! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Please! Please! Please make Black reject her at first, then Rena goes away somewhere, and Black goes to find her, but Rena disappeared! YAY~! That would be the best angst ever~! :twisted:
You're writing is really awesome, if I may say. I mean.... I could just feel the pain that Rena was feeling, and the anger that she felt for the man. I know that it would be very horrible to ask of you to make Rena feel even more pain, but I just crave for it! I mean, with you writing, pain is fun to experience! ^^ Hahaha, I have no idea what I just meant by that. BUT do continue~! :inlove: :inlove: :inlove: :inlove:
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D: Angst just fits this pair too well. A tense relationship is a very good premise for them. Update soon!
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Poor Geki, there is alot of hurt inside her heart and we see that Black is the one person who has got into her heart and made her feel something other that hate.... Love. That is why she beat him up, not for revenge but more perhpas out of a jealousy that he has had something that Gehi has not had, Geki perhpas is even scared of admiting it though, unsure of how the girl she loves will take it.
Black is certainly surprised by it when Rena kisses her, I wonder what is going through her mind.....
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LOVE YOUR STORY ~~!!! :on GJ:
I'm drowning more into BlackGeki now~ :ding:
Go~ Geki!! release yourself from the pain within you!!
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WHOA~ That kiss! :luvluv1: I love it!
Poor Black wasn't really paying attention to what Gekikara really meant with her questions.
Gekikara, I feel sad since she's been feeling all those feelings towards Black. In the end since Black never responded answered her questions now she beleives that Black loves that man.
What a big misunderstanding.
But still that kiss at the end was just awesome. Hope Black understands Gekikara's feelings towards her.
Thanks for the update.
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pls....
update sooonn.
write more gekixblack stories!!!
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i really like it..
i like the story..
i like the way you wrote this fic..
i like the way you described Geki's character..
aww, the kiss :heart: i hope black will gave geki a chance..i'm sure geki can make black happy..
waiting for your update..
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A/N: Just gonna post this prelude, this will be the shot that will explain Black and Geki's relationship in the past which has a big play in Chinmoku, yes their past is a big key to the two queens close relationship and the way they act. It's still just a prelude so...it won't reveal anything much though. Also, I would like to tell to my second winner in the guessing game in DI that I'm working on the prize, don't worry, I haven't forgotten it. ;)
Thank you for commenting, reading and giving thanks for Part III of Chinmoku, I appreciate it, it really motivates me to write. :) Gonna reply to your comments now since I'm already here and all...
Replies:
@ShibuyaDokiDoki - They kissed? They kissed! Well... Let's all hope that Black feels the same for Geki.
@sakura_drop_ - I don't know what to say...can't read your emotions just from that small comment. Um, I hope you liked Part III, I'm trying to make it special and to also match some of your requests... Uhh...yeah. :lol:"
@RenaChii - It's angst, your correct. I also love angst too, its my most favorite genre in stories. :cathappy:
@XxRoByNxX78 - Yes, they kissed. Hahaha. XD
@kahem - I like cutting it at the best part, I don't want to reveal anything that will take away the anticipation. :)
@karomuwi - Thank you. Hoh, you want me to torture Rena? That's the most weirdest request I've ever heard, though whether I will do that or not, I won't say anything about it, just wait for my next update. ;) Oh, I know what you're saying! I actually like reading angst and feel the pain of the characters, its refreshing from the usual happy and squeal inducing fics I always read. :cathappy:
@SharkAttack - Hahaha, thank you. :)
@oddball - I give you my applause for your deduction. You sure are good at it. Black's thoughts, they might as well be scrambled on the floor with that kiss. :lol:
@ichikawa - Thank you! :cathappy: Eh...if Geki does that...umm.... *thinks of a particular scene, looks away, blushes and fidgets*
@Sok - Sok-san! It's nice to see you again. Hello. :) The biggest burden when entering a relationship is misunderstanding, and its still a big burden even while you're in a relationship. ;)
@Chikane Himemiya - Thank you. Ehmm? I'll try to write more BlackGeki fics in the future. :cathappy:
@yukofan - Thank you very much! :cathappy: Everyone deserves a chance at life, we'll see whether Geki gets one from Black. XD
Thank you again for the comments! Now I would like to present you Our Past Together! (I actually named it Savior at first for specific reasons, just looks awkward so I didn't add it to the title...) Hope you enjoy this little bit.
<<------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->>
Our Past Together
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Prelude
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Its cold, this room is cold.
It’s lonely and dark, I could feel myself shiver and curl up into a ball. I want to grasp onto something, I want to pull something and wrap it around my body, but my arms would not move to stretch itself out. I can only resolve to wrap my arms around my badly beaten body, trying to give my body warmth.
I’m scared, so scared that I could not move from where I’m currently laying on. I don’t want to move away from this corner, the corner of this room where I’m lying on the cold hard floor.
Its pitiful.
This situation of mine.
This fear of mine.
Its pitiful.
People think that I’m strong, that I’m fearless, but beneath the exterior persona that I have build, this weak side of me lays dormant. No one knows this side of me. No one knows that I was never strong to begin with. I’m just fragile girl waiting, waiting for someone to reach down and help me up.
That’s impossible though.
No one cares about me; to them I am just a worthless piece of crap, sullying this world with my own hideousness.
No one cares.
No one cares.
Because I am just a no body.
I let a small sniffle escape me. I hate these thoughts, these thoughts which are consuming me, eating away what little hope left I held in my heart. I want these thoughts to disappear, but my mind would stop, it won’t stop from belittling me even as the night continued on, even as the night deepens and the darkness surrounds me, caging me like a prisoner.
I am afraid of this darkness, of what lies in that darkness.
Whenever darkness would creep close to me and envelope my pitiful soul in this bone-chilling silence, I would always have an ample time of torturous thoughts circling in my head. In this silent moments where I am all alone, helpless and weak without anyone by my side, I often think of how my life is going right now.
I’m scared.
I feel uncertain of what would the future will have for me. I don’t even know if I would be even offered by God, a chance for a good life, for a future without this pain chaining me down is impossible. While a future without this pain haunting my damned soul is rather a paradise to my weak and broken self, it seems to be an impossible goal, something so far for me to reach.
I can’t reach for that happiness.
I don’t deserve happiness, is what my parents and relatives tell me.
I’m an unwanted child, unloved and never truly will be loved. This is the pain I bear, the pain of knowing that fact awfully well hurts me.
It hurts.
It hurts…
Yet no one cares.
Even if my fragile body carries this large burden on its own, no one cares. Even if I were to fall now and succumb to this silent pains I have been enduring, no one will notice that I’m gone.
No one cares.
At times I would just sit in the corner of the room and gloomily stare at the floor in our classroom, ignoring my classmates and everything around me. I know they say bad words about me, I know they are belittling me for what I am, for what I look like.
I’m hideous.
I know that very well.
The bruises and wounds covering my arms are a proof of it all. The scar on my upper left eye are signs of the abuse my parents have carved on me. I still remember it; it’s still fresh on my mind, that day when they almost killed me, when they showed that intent to make me disappear from their lives.
It hurts.
It hurts.
I’m scared of them. I’m scare of everyone. They are all the same. They look at me with judging and cold eyes, laughing at my demise, laughing at my haggard state.
Snickering and cackling.
Their all bad-mouthing me, shunning my very existence, wishing that I would just disappear.
Make them stop.
Make it all stop.
Sometimes I wonder what it would feel like to actually feel physical pain, wondering what it would feel if I pressed a knife on my neck and cut myself until I bleed. Maybe it would take away this burden of mine, maybe it would set my mind free all of this torture.
I laughed at the thought.
Yes, that’s right.
That was the only way.
I giggled to myself, liking the idea of self inflicted pain.
It’s insane.
This mind of mine is becoming insane.
No one would understand me.
No one can.
They would just bat an eye on me and turn away. No one really cares for someone like me, I’ve gotten used to it, or rather, I want to say that I’ve gotten used to the pain that would often stab my heart.
At times I often think of this little ‘ifs’ of mine, wondering and pondering if my life would have been better off if I had not been born or if it would be fun if I had a peaceful and normal life. My thoughts, those thoughts often enter my mind while with each blow, each punch and each kick and abusive foul languages I receive from my parents I huddle at the corner and take in the abuse that I withstand.
I still accept them, no matter how much pain it would give to my already battered heart.
It hurts.
It hurts…
And yet…I laugh, I laugh at my helplessness, at my own miserable state and my own pain.
Its pitiful.
It hurts.
But no one cares.
Yet I laugh in attempt to keep myself from falling down, from breaking even more. I’m a hypocrite. It’s truly laughable, what kind of person I’ve become. I’ve already known for quite a long time that I’m already shattering into pieces.
But I still keep holding on.
I’m still hoping, even if what’s left in my hand is a small shard of myself.
I’m still holding on.
Hoping that one day…
…Someone would reach up and offer their hands to me.
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End of Prelude
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<<------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->>
A/N: That ends the prelude! This shot will be under Gekikara/Rena's point of view, also this will be a multi-shot fic, I don't know how long it will reach, but I'm aiming for two or three parts so that I can explain Black and Gekikara's past together. Anyways, see you next time.
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Wo Rena... Poor girl...
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Sieka-san...
I'm in love with your writing style, with your characters, with your stories and how you develop them
Don't ever dare to say you don't know if I like your fics or not.
I LOVE THEM.
Really thank you for writing such a long fic for me :kneelbow: :kneelbow: :kneelbow: :kneelbow: :kneelbow: :kneelbow:
I didn't expect it to be this long, and I am really thankful and happy :wub: :wub: :wub:
About my comments.. I'm really not good at commenting things..I'm lacking in it... And that time I was really speechless... The whole story how you write it is just breathtaking... I love every word of it...
I'll be patiently waiting for your other updates, TGoF-san!
Your follower,
sakura_drop_
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Rena as long as u believe and have confidance in ur self u will be fine and thanks for the update
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Thanks for the update, I've been quite busy recently so haven't had time to read anything or even visit :(
Missed so many updates already, going to need some time to read thru them.
Just started reading and thought I leave a comment first and fix it up later.
Thanks yoU! please continue to write this! :twothumbs :twothumbs
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A/N: I'm back...? Erm, I'm kinda nervous hahaha on this update, I think I might have.......um, how you say it, erm I think I made this the worst of all I've written?
Uwah... I don't really feel confident in posting this, but well, its kind of a waste not to post this 10 pages long (yes, on Microsoft word) update. I'm confident and very apologetic to say that this shot won't be finished on this update...so I hope you will still stick to me until the next parts (I don't even know how long this will be, I hope I can just end this soon... I'm prolonging this too much, I kind of wanna blame my mind and its imagination.... :( )
I wonder though, should I get a beta...? I feel like my grammar is lacking and I'm very verbose with my stories, this doesn't seem so good to me...uhh....
Um, let's get on with the replies that I got before we continue on... Oh right, the other replies that I got from Part III of Chinmoku are commented and replied over here (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1013946#msg1013946), if anyone's wondering.
Replies:
@kahem - Yeah, poor Rena/Geki.
@sakura_drop_ - This seems to be the longest comment I've ever received from you, not the usual long comments filled with emoticons, I'm quite honored to be honest to get a comment this long from you. I'm glad you're liking it, thank you very much! Erm, I didn't expect this to be THIS long either, if you know what I mean, hahaha, I'm kinda...well, shocked how long this one is and how many pages it consists when its all combined in MS Word...ahahaha.... :nervous
@XxRoByNxX78 - A very optimistic thought! I wonder if Geki will pick that kind of thought...
@immortal_K - Thank you very much for dropping by! I hope you're doing well over there, being busy is kinda an over kill to the health, kinda experienced it a few times, hope you stay healthy and well! :)
Now! Let's just get it on with this update, then I'll try to look for a hole and bury myself into it. I hope though that I didn't go overboard here...wuaha, I kinda...how you say it, got this idea from LeNosferatu over at her BuraGeki no Ichinichi (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32226.0), if you're reading this LeNosferatu-san, sorry, I lied a bit hahaha...it seems I did try to attempt to write it, well a little bit of it...?
Erm, anyways, hope you enjoy reading? I'll try to look for a hole right now while you all are reading.... :panic:
<<------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->>
Chinmoku
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Part IV
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Warm…
Everything felt warm, yet it was supposed to be cold. Because its night. It was supposed to be cold, yet Black could not feel the harshness of the wind, no, she couldn’t feel it. She just felt warm, too warm. Her body almost felt like it was on fire.
It’s warm, so warm that Black could feel herself sweating, it was very noticeable to her too that she was losing control of her breathing, she was breathless. The body pressed on her own was warming her own body, they were pressed too close, there was little to no space between them. It was making her heart pound fast, faster than normal that she could feel that her chest was hurting so much that her heart might suddenly jump out of her chest, yet she did not protest.
The shock written on Black’s face was instantly replaced with an indescribable expression of pleasure when she felt Gekikara press her lips even more on her own. The older girl’s eyes automatically closed, as if in reflex.
Her cheeks were flushed, no, her whole body was flushed. Her senses were going over the wire that it was hard to focus without a single thought in her mind. Even if she wanted to think of something, she just couldn’t, not with that soft warm sensation on her lips, not with her wrapped in a tight embrace, not with shorter queen kissing her this way.
It was too much.
Lips on lips; flesh on flesh, the mixed sensation of the other girl’s warm lips on hers, moving slowly with the younger queen’s tongue exploring her mouth, ever so often brushing on her own tongue, touching, caressing before it seeks to dance and entwine itself on her warm wet flesh. It sent sparks flying inside Black; it was as if electricity was flowing inside her body.
Black moaned in a small undeniably husky voice, her hands automatically grasping tightly onto Gekikara’s shoulders for support.
Gekikara sighed softly into the kiss, softly suckling the older girl’s bottom lip before she gave it a small lick, making Black moan again, this time a bit louder than that of the first. Hearing the raven moan was unarguably the most sexiest sound Gekikara ever heard, it made the younger queen groan when she heard the older girl’s moan.
The younger teen wanted more; she wanted more of Black, of the kiss, and of her moans.
The older girl’s voice just sends Gekikara’s heart into a mad dash; it was thumping fast and hard, very unlike her usual stone cold battered heart. Hearing Black make sounds like this, hearing the person she loves so much make this kinds of sounds was too much. Just hearing the tall raven’s sound of pleasure was even enough to drive Gekikara over the wall.
It was too much.
Too much.
Gekikara felt delirious, her lungs were screaming for air, yet she did not want to part her lips with Black’s, the stimuli that she was receiving was just too much addicting, it was as if she just took drugs in one big go. The effects of Black’s lips on her own was just like getting a glimpse of heaven but Gekikara could not deny her body from air, she could already tell that the older girl was breathless.
Unwillingly, the shorter queen broke the kiss, sighing again almost too softly while her lungs took in as much oxygen as it could. Gekikara could also feel the former queen's swift puffs of air, given how close their faces were, it was warm and ticklish, yet Gekikara did not care, she did not giggle, she just stood there silently, catching her own breath.
The younger queen looked up and gazed at Black, feeling her heart stop for a second at the sight of the older girl’s flushed sweaty face. Gekikara could not help herself from watching the older teen, how the former queen’s eyes were closed tightly, watching her eyebrows sometimes twitch or how plump and full Black’s cherry pink lips were.
Gekikara’s cheeks were now turning into a deep crimson red shade, she could feel herself let out a shaky breath. Her palm was starting to get sweaty and her mind was hazy, Gekikara did not even notice that she was leaning towards Black or how her lips moved softly, kissing Black’s neck, her teeth grazing the former queen’s porcelain skin. The younger queen was out of her own mind, it was as if someone had given her alcohol.
She was feeling too high.
Black shivered, almost instantly when she felt something graze her skin before it was replaced by soft warm flesh, licking and suckling her flesh. Black mewled at the ticklish wet feeling on her neck before her mewl become a loud moan when she felt sharp pointy teeth plunge down her sensitive flesh. Black’s grip on Gekikara’s shoulders tightened, she could feel her knees wobble unstably.
“…A-Ahh…!” Black moaned, her body twitching as she felt Gekikara’s sharp teeth nibble the skin of her neck, making small wet trails from her jaw line down towards her collarbone before going back up to the mid of her neck.
‘…Black…’
Gekikara’s closed her eyes tightly and sank her teeth even more onto the former queen’s flesh before she released it after sucking hard, drawing blood from the small wound that she inflicted. Black gasped at the pain that was invading her senses, it hurts yet somehow it felt pleasurable that she had to stifle out a groan from escaping her lips.
Gekikara paused for a moment, staring at the wound she made, noticing small droplets of blood slowly coming out from the wound before she leaned back again and licked it up, pressing small soothing kisses on that small-wounded spot. Whilst nursing Black’s small wound, the younger queen’s hands slowly roamed down from Black’s shoulders to her side, before it slipped inside former queen’s black T-shirt.
The taller teen shivered, feeling cool soft hands caressing her skin, almost teasingly towards north, her palm brushing the older girl’s curvaceous figure. Gekikara bit her bottom lip, feeling her want and need increase with each caress, each kisses she placed onto Black’s body.
Addicting.
She was just too addicting.
Black only made it worst for Gekikara when the younger teen paused for a moment to look up, only for her whole attention to be captivated by Black’s flushed sweaty face, looking helpless yet non-resisting, almost seductive even with her mouth agape, panting cutely while looking shyly. Gekikara felt her blood boil, her heart’s beating increasing thrice than the norm and her resistance crumbling.
The younger queen felt her breath being taken away from her, she felt so breathless.
Gekikara closed her eyes again, trying to catch her breath, her brows knitted together in concentration. She could feel small beads of sweat drip down her jaw; she could feel the heat, her heart beating so hard in her chest and her own wanton thoughts and desires.
She was having an internal clash inside her, the fact that she was going overboard, the fact that she had just kissed Black, pressing on her feelings for the raven. Gekikara felt anxiety eating on her as well as her desires, she tried to reason out, trying to control herself, but each time her own little reasoning mind lost to her own wants, her resistance crumbled faster.
“Gekikara…” Black huskily whispered after having been able to recover a little bit of her mental functions.
“Rena…” The older teen called again, this time using the younger queen’s real name, as if trying to catch Gekikara’s attention. The tone she held on her voice was an apparent tone of worry, yet it was very appealing, it made the said queen open her eyes to look at Black, looking at the older queen, her expression marred by a frown and her eyes covered by the look of uncertainty, clouded over by a hazy fog.
Both of them stood still there, gazing at each other under the starry night sky, in that very empty and silent street. One looked slightly worried and at lost, while the other looked unreadable, it only served to make the former queen worry even more. Gekikara however did not take in this little detail due to her own deliriousness.
“Hey…” Black called again a small tone, yet even with her soft small call, even in her own state; Black tried to reach to the younger queen, raising up a hand and gently caressed Gekikara’s cheeks, wiping off the sweat dripping down her porcelain skin, making Gekikara tense up at the slightest touch Black did.
Electrifying, Gekikara felt sparks when Black touched her skin, she could almost feel that she was electrocuted by just a small amount with the heated prickling sensation on her skin. There was also the feeling on the pit of her stomach, it was lurching almost painfully, and it made her anxious. Gekikara did not know whether she was phrasing it right or wrong, she did not care, but it felt like she had butterflies in her stomach.
Too much.
Too much.
It was just too much to handle.
Gekikara fidgeted uneasily, her jaw clenched in a tense manner. It was too hard to resist the older girl, not when her heart and mind was urging her to continue on, pushing on the feelings of love she’s been repressing for so long, those hidden affections which she tried to bottle up and forget.
The former queen stared worriedly at the shorter teen with half-lidded eyes, cheeks flushed and hair slightly in disheveled state, her black tracksuit jacket slowly slipping off her shoulders, exposing her black T-shirt and her collarbone, a small noticeable reddish mark on the skin of her neck could be seen perfectly well under the light of the sidewalk lamp.
Black looked amazingly beautiful, much more, she looked so tempting, Gekikara tried yet again to keep herself and her urges at bay, yet she failed badly in the process, not with Black looked so inviting in front of her, not with the other girl this up close.
‘I can’t take it anymore…’
‘…I can’t.’
Gekikara gritted her teeth, her eyes shut tightly. She swiftly reached up, grabbing Black’s wrists and pinning them to the wall, earning a gasp and startled yelp from the older teen.
Black winced and hissed at the painfully tight pressure around her wrists and was about to protest about it when out of a sudden, Gekikara kissed her again, this time much more rougher and demanding, almost to the point of bruising the former queen’s lips.
Gekikara’s freed her other hand from holding onto Black’s wrist and used her other hand to hold them down. With her left hand free, the shorter teen ran her hand down Black’s back, traveling much lower down.
“W-Wait…”
“…S-Stop…”
Black struggled from Gekikara’s grasp, her mind ringing in alarm; the panic and fear in the former queen’s wide eyes were starting to form. Each second that passed by, the younger girl was starting to get rougher and rougher with each caresses and each kisses, it started to scare the raven, as if it was triggering something inside her.
Black tried to pry away the younger girl’s lips away; it only served to annoy Gekikara, earning an angry growl from the shorter queen, her angry scowl almost uncharacteristically aimed at Black. In her own delirious state of mentality and wanton needs, Gekikara pushed every boundary down by promptly roughly caressing Black.
“S-Stop…!”
Black squirmed at soft hands roughly treating her body, reminding her body of the painful experience she felt that she had so much wanted to forget.
Memories began to flash back into her head, of the man, of that night, with her helplessly begging, asking the man to stop, yet only to receive a sneering reply and cackling from the man. She could painfully remember and almost feel the man’s rough calloused hands violating her, probing into her helpless and weak body.
She was helpless under the man’s control, she could only cry out in pain, in sadness and remorse over her situation as it went on and on for what had seem to have been eternity. The man only stopped until he had gotten tired of her and was satisfied with torturing her empty soul, until she was lying broken and naked on the ground with bruises and wounds covering her weakened and battered body.
Remembering that certain memory was like having a knife pointed at the center of Black’s heart, it was hurting her too much just by remembering, and it was as if she was reliving that experience right now.
Black felt her body start to turn stiff, as if it underwent rigor mortis. Her senses were going haywire from fear, she could not even distinguish Gekikara’s form anymore, nor could she even remember that the person in front of her was the younger queen.
“No…!”
“Get away from me!”
It was an action that went instinctively, Black did what her old weak self had not done before, she punched the person that was pressed onto her, she punched it with such force that the younger queen stumbled down, landing hard on the concrete pavement with a loud plop.
Gekikara sat on the pavement, looking down at the floor with wide eyes, clutching onto her bruised cheek, shock written all over her face. Clearly, the younger girl was caught off guard with that swift action, seeing the severity of the punch Black inflicted, cutting Gekikara’s lips.
Gekikara felt anxious all of a sudden, it was as if someone had dropped down large concrete blocks on her body. The younger girl struggled to prop herself into a comfortable sitting position before she tried to look at Black, almost hesitantly even.
Fear was creeping close to her all of a sudden. The deliriousness that had once clouded her head was now replaced by a threatening feeling of anxiety eating her away.
She looked up. Gekikara’s eyes did not stop nor avert itself from the older queen’s figure, and once she had her eyes focused onto Black’s face. She could not tear her eyes off her, not from the desires that was urging her a while ago, not because she was breathlessly caught in Black’s ethereal beauty, but because of the horror that was quickly falling down on her.
“B-Bla…ck.”
Gekikara saw tears cascading down, tears that seemed to be never ending.
It scared Gekikara, it was petrifying, and it was chewing onto her conscience, guiltily mocking her. Gekikara wanted to deny of the guilt that she felt, but she remembered, she remembered vividly of her own insolence. Of her own faulty actions, of what she had done.
She had just sullied Black with her own hands; she had pushed her and violated her space, going as far as to treat her roughly out of her own selfish wanton desires.
She was going too far.
Gekikara felt at a loss of word, not knowing what to say, not knowing what to do. She just stared at Black in silences, enduring whatever prickling pain she felt in her heart as the droplet of tears continued to flow.
She did not want this to happen.
This was not what Gekikara intended to do. She did not want to make Black sad; she did not want to see the other girl cry, all she just wanted was for the other girl to loosen up and be like her old self.
Clenching her fists tight, the younger queen forced herself to slowly stand up and approach Black as quietly as possible as to not to startle the other girl, she did not even bothering to wipe off the blood from her busted lips nor even dust off the dirt on her short.
She reached up a trembling hand towards Black’s direction, towards the former queen of darkness, but midway, Gekikara’s hand halted when she saw Black’s body jerked slightly and the older teen take a few steps away from her, cowering with her arms wrapped around her body securely.
Gekikara scoffed at herself angrily for her own failure, yet she felt sadness, knowing what she had done was wrong. She was pressing her emotions too much on Black.
Gekikara let her hand fall back to her side; she already knew that it was pointless to try to touch Black, not when she was avoiding her. She already knew it, she wasn’t stupid to understand how much the older girl was scared, the fear was visible not just on her face, but in her eyes as well that was usually void of other emotions, except on certain moments.
She saw it.
She knew what this meant.
This was rejection.
The sane queen grasped the hem of her white blouse with trembling hands, as if in anger, as in fear, the emotions were mixed up, nevertheless; Gekikara looked away in shame, unable to face Black, unable to look at the disheveled state of Black’s appearance, which was her own doing.
She was causing a lot of distress.
She was becoming a problem.
Black’s problem.
Again.
Gekikara stood still, looking down at the pavement with her mind heavy and clouded with negative thoughts.
What was she doing?
Ah, what was she doing indeed…?
Was this how she was going to repay Black’s kindness?
In this kind of way?
Yes, they were right.
Ah, that’s right, everyone was right.
She is worthless.
‘So it has finally come this, isn’t it…?’
‘This day, which I have been dreading for so long in the past…’ Gekikara mused, her train of thoughts wrapped up in sadness. There was nothing she could do anyways, the damage was done, what was there left for her to pick up and repair.
Of course, there was none.
This was caused by her own self-destruction.
It was laughable.
She could almost hear voices, voices in her head, snickering and cackling.
Again, those voices that were belittling her.
Again…
A small smile formed on Gekikara’s lips, her eyes were covered by her bangs. It was eerie, her smile was eerie. Her eyes were also glinting behind her bangs, dangerously. A small noise left her lips; it was low and inaudible at first, until it grew louder, almost frighteningly loud.
Gekikara giggled and laughed insanely, she could hear the laughter in her head and she laughed along, she laughed along with the little tricks her unstable mind was pushing onto her.
She didn’t care.
She did not want to care.
She took a quick glance at the shivering figure in front of her, and it only served to increased the speed and intensity of the bites Gekikara did on her nails, until her nails were already damaged, until she was even biting on her own fingers, yet she did not stop, no she didn’t.
“Black…”
She continued to giggle, biting her own fingers, wounding them and bruising them in the process, causing blood to ooze from the cuts.
“Hehehe…” The young heavenly queen raised her head up, snickering, continuing to bite her bloody wounded hand, blood continued to flow and the intense stench of copper floated in the air, it made Black cringe.
The smell of blood overpowering her sense of smell, the smell of copper was not likeable nor exactly disgusting, but served to calm her distressed mind. It was like a stabilizer, almost.
Black felt her senses come back, it was as if cloud was gone from her head, and the memories, the scenes that were flashing in her head was gone and was replaced by the image of reality, of now.
With all her senses back, everything was crystal-clear now that Black could even hear loud sounds of footsteps slowly; little by little it started to sound smaller, as if it was coming from a distance. Black frowned and looked up, noticing a shadow, a figure, hiding over in the darkness of the street, standing a few meters away from her.
“Rena?” Black mumbled in confusion, her voice hoarse and her throat dry from crying.
“…Yuki.” Gekikara replied out the former queen’s name, her real name, without any formal suffixes, after a long time. It hurts though, it hurts to say Black’s name at this current moment, she couldn’t even snicker anymore.
The former queen slowly wiped off the remaining tears off her face and started blinking for quite a few times as she tried to adjust her eyes into something that was capable to see through the darkness.
She couldn’t laugh and so she only resorted to smile sadly, a sad broken forced smile, noticing that the former queen’s eyes were finally on her.
She was finally looking at her; she was finally calling her by her name even!
It was cruel though, how Black was only doing it right now, when she’s about to walk away, when she’s about to leave the older girl, just when she’s about to exit out of Black’s life.
Ah, it’s cruel.
How cruel.
God must be cruel.
Because it hurts.
It hurts.
This distance hurts, Gekikara tried not to twist in pain, the pain that was coming from her heart. She didn’t, she already decided on it.
There’s no turning back now.
It was time to leave.
“Ne…”
“Sorry…”
“…For everything.” Gekikara said, her words coming out in small quantities and in large pauses. It was hard to say something, not when she had decided to leave, not when it hurts.
Yet she wasn’t going to stop, she wouldn’t falter.
No, she swore she wouldn’t.
If she just did…
She might not be able to hold back.
Gekikara started to take small steps backward, little by little, the distance grew, and little by little, she couldn’t see Black’s face anymore, nor could she hear anything from the Black, whether it was by pure silence or due to the distance that was between them.
“Sorry…”
“Just…sorry.”
“It seems…I can’t keep my end of the promise…”
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End of Part IV
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A/N: Gotta say though... I've tried to write this kind of things before in the past, I kind of fail epicly on it, so I can't say...I did this well, and I can say that I, Sieka, have official screwed up, badly even.
See you...maybe? Or maybe I'll lose some readers right now, oh well... I'll resort to plan A! *Jumps into a hole*
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I have so many emotions running through my head right now... I think I need to calm down...
But... Sieka-san... My dear god of fanfics... How can you say that you fail? This is awesome. What you write is epic.
I have so many emotions running through my head.. I even don't know how to begin talking about my emotions and thoughts...
I guess I just have to let it sink to my head before commenting again...
:kneelbow: For now, I'll retreat. but I'll be back and comment later..
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Sieka-san, you never failed in this chapter. in fact, it was a total win! it was so perfect that it made me log back in using my phone, just to comment after switching off my laptop ! and this angst fic of yours is what made my choose you as the top one favorite in writing an angst fic! this chapter was just amazing! the pain I felt just from imagining the scenes made my heart clench! and it ached my heart when I saw that it was cut off! T^T
please let Rena suffer more!! actually, let Black suffer as well! the more pain gained, the greater the pleasure of having a happy ending, or horrible ending!
thank you for the update. thank you. *cries* :kneelbow:
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Rena plz dont do anything stupid i beg just dont
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No!!!!! Gekikara don't go!!!!
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Eh? Eh? Eh? Eh!!!!!!!!!!!! Nooooooo T__T Please don't let Geki ran away. Argh because Gekikara always look so carefree it's heartbreaking to imagining her all broke down like this. Same with Black of course T__T And it just did not help when you're awfully good as describing their fear and pain. It just seems so real >< I really want a happy ending for them author-san. Please try your best!
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NOOO!!! DON'T GO!! GEEEKIIIIII!!! (http://forum.jphip.com/Smileys/default/mon_runcry.GIF)
STOP HER BLACK!! (http://forum.jphip.com/Smileys/default/frustrated.gif)
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Ahh, Geki, it's ok you just were too rough, and that's it really, though confused I think Black was happy that Geki was kissing her, the thing is Geki being, well Geki, there was always possibly going to be an area of roughness brought into it maybe and this put Black back into a position where she remebered the incident with the man and all the bad thingss that happened because of it, she forgets it's Geki and only thinks of the man even though she in the end carries feeling for Rena......
And Geki, she had no intentions of going to far with Black, her feelings got the better of her and she did not realizes what she was doing to Black, but when she sees, she is heartbroken because she thinks she has totally hurt the only person in her heart, a person who she thinks she has now lost forever and it makes her sacred, scared that she has lost the most precious thing in her world and broken her promise....
:cry:
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Geki being rough was really expected in this situation, wasn't it? I mean, we all know her craziness.. But at this point that roughness exceeded her own expectations, as she didn't want to go that far. But let's see... It's Black we're talking about, that damn sexy woman with her awesome mounds and cleavage. But of course Geki wouldn't be able to withstand that kind of view without doing anything. The kiss intended to be just a kiss, but those lips of Black's... She wasn't able to resist and in the end it resulted into this make-out.
On the other hand, Black had a very cruel past. And the thing that she was raped is really not a good one. By reading books and watching movies, and of course by just thinking about this situation we know how hard it is to recover after that. I mean, even the two people deeply in love can't make love if one of them is haunted by the shadows of the past happenings. Taking that into consideration should have been first priority to Geki. But her mind went...not blank...more like into an uncontrollable state, and she was stopped only after Black hit her and pushed her away.
At this point no matter how much I love Geki, I am with Black. But the point is, she was in her own memories, so she wasn't sure if it's Geki or that man from the past anymore... So it only makes sense that she got scared... But after pushing Geki away - and hitting her - she regains her consciousness that this is Geki and not that man, and I believe she is confused and scared of what she did... It's obvious she loves Geki, just she wasn't sure about Geki's feelings until this moment. So now I believe she thinks Geki won't forgive her for what she did.
Again, Geki is in the same position, as she thinks Black won't forgive her for what she did. It's true, at this point we come to realization, that they both have their own reasons for their actions, even though Geki's reason is a bit... But it's because of her character, personality and past, that she has these crazy moments... And another thing, that bugs me, is if she will be able to be gentle with Black... Because at this time, at this moment, after having such a scarred past, she really needs some gentle touches so to get away from her past shadow that haunts her.
Just now either Geki has to not run away from this problem, because she's making conclusions too fast, without considering the option of Black being haunted by her past, or Black has to stop her and solve things by talking and calming Geki. They both need to resolve lots of things with each other, as we see Geki and Black both had bad things in their life, in one or another way painful. After talking about things it might come to the point where they both console each other and move on without past haunting them.
That's the longest comment I ever wrote, I believe... XD
I'll be waiting for your updates, Sieka-san ;)
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Not an update lol...
Kiriban at 1000+ achieved!
Thank you for 1000+ Page View!
Gonna post a special one-shot! Look forward to it even though its short!
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Replies for Chimoku Part IV:
@sakura_drop_ - Whoa, did I just made you comment two times? Did that update really made you feel a lot? I'm quite surprised if it did... :O
That's......quite a long comment, the longest I've ever saw you write and the longest I've ever received.... To be honest, I reread it like four times, I'm quite.....flabbergasted, in a good way. Thank you for the long comment! :)
Yes, it was expected that Geki would become rough, she was under control of her emotions and her desires. Okay, dang sakura-san, just what you said made my head........overload, too graphic, way too graphic for me, omg, I know Black/Yuki has an awesome body, but omg......hahaha, but yes Geki can't resist Black, not with her that up close and vulnerable. If Geki was ever given a second chance, I know she'd kiss Black as much as she can even at a given limited time...~
Bingo~ You got the point. So taking two and two into one big equation, we get this scene, and since resisting temptation was too much for Geki, she acted out, not even bothering to pay attention to that little detail, not even bothering to be gentle with Black, you can say that Geki was really desperate in this situation because she had this trail of thoughts that keeps bothering her, about Black, that man, about her and her relationship with Black being just friends.... It's a form of jealousy you can say that doesn't seem obvious due to it being blinded by desperation and need.
Geki tends to misunderstand things if no one tells her their side, though she'd only care if its people she's close with, like Black and the other Rappapa members. If it was anyone else that she had a misunderstand, she'd never care. Yeah, Geki does think Black pushed her away because of rejection, disgust and fear. If concerning Black's affection level for Geki, I can say that its really at that point, she likes Geki, whether it was on purpose that she didn't act it out or something else, I can't just say yet...
That's up to Geki to be honest, whether she tries to be gentle, its for her to do and to try to act out, if she does love Black that much, she would refrain herself from being rough and act needless from the situation. They both have bad pasts, the full length of which I can't explain yet here in Chinmoku, but yeah, they need something comforting, some love and companionship in order to mend all those wounds and at least ease the pain of the invisible scars on their hearts.
That's really the thing, I'm certain enough to tell you, Geki will run away, its not a spoiler, its just definite, as what's seen on the last part. It's up to Black to do something about this situation, all the cards are already laid on the table, its up to Black whether she plays the game or if she'll just let loss of it and let Geki leave.
Why I'm comparing this to a game of cards though, its just because Black has everything laid out, even the winning cards, if she doesn't play and do her part, then Geki will leave, for real, because no one can play a game without another person right? But if she decides to try, then she'll win Geki back, she already has all the triumph cards, its just up to Black, really.
@karomuwi - I'm glad I didn't fail. :) Thank you for your kind words! Eh? Me as your top one favorite angst writer? That's quite a big honor your giving me...I'm flattered. I'm glad though that the emotions are all getting into you.
Oh, make them suffer? I'll try...to the best of my abilities, if possible. Though that's quite a weird request, usually people would say, make them happy already. I'll try to make that request true, I wish myself luck! :cathappy:
Thank you for the wonderful and kind comment!
@XxRoByNxX78 - Geki already did something stupid, so there's a possibility that she'll make another mistake. Uwah.... :panic:
@kahem - Indeed, I want to say that myself... :sweatdrop:
@dukkong - I'm sorry if its breaking your heart...though I feel happy that it makes you feel the fear and pain of the characters, I'm quite intending it to be honest.
I'll try my best to look for a happy ending. :)
@RenaChii - :) :lol: Sorry... I can't think of what to say, Black's....just Black, so I dunno what she'd do. Still undecided? XD
@oddball - Your deduction makes me feel awe. You're quite right on most of the parts... The problem lies on Black if I have to say, whether she acts or not, Geki already made her move, and she doesn't have any other option under than leaving, knowing that she already went too far off the boundary.
If Black doesn't decide what to do, then lets just say that everything will be too late, Black needs to put up her side and talk to Geki, because here, Geki has some of her issues, meaning, she'll misunderstand if no one tells her clearly their side, its basically a human nature to misunderstand things under this kind of situation, and Geki's taking it far too up that she's willing to distance herself from Black...even to the point of breaking a promise.
Did I replied to everyone? I think I did....
Anyways, thank you everyone for your kind comments and thank yous!
I'll try to update Chinmoku this week, I'm hoping I can fit it in my schedule.... :lol:
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A/N: Kiriban 1000+ Special Shot! This is a one-shot, its really short, the shortest I've written. Hope you all enjoy, this is everyone's favorite pair, the ever so popular one. :)
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Sweets
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One-shot
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Candies, sugary sweet confections were almost around everywhere.
It almost seemed like it filled the room.
I scan around the area, looking at the scrumptious pieces of artwork, wanting to take a taste of them, but I willed myself not to touch them. I continued on walking, towards the kitchen as quietly as possible.
The scene of vanilla, chocolate and other sweet smells invaded my nose immediately when I opened the door, it made my mouth water, I could even feel my stomach lurch, wanting to take a deep bite.
This is pure torture, but I still willed myself not to give in to the temptation of taking a bite.
I look around the kitchen, looking for your figure, my face immediately brightened when I spot you there, busing yourself with spreading chocolate over a warm soft fluffy pastry. You look utterly beautiful and cute, your brows knitted together in full concentration, I giggled to myself.
I like this part of you.
No, I love this part of you; I love how much you give so much attention to almost everything, whether the details are small or not.
I took small baby steps, I am cautious enough not to make any sounds, wanting to surprise you. It was hard enough for me though not to make any noise, I had to stifle my own giggles until I finally reach you.
You still haven’t noticed me, you were too focused on your cake. It makes it all the more easy for me.
I took a quick glance over your shoulder and grin; you were almost finished with your cake. I took it as a signal for me to take my actions, knowing that you’d turn around as soon as you’re done with decorating that scrumptious pastry of yours.
I wrapped my arms around your slim waist and bury my nose into your hair, taking a deep breath to take in your scent, its sweet, these fragrances of yours is sweet, just like this pastries. Your body went stiff, the moment you felt me press my body on yours, you gasped in surprise, turning around slightly to look at me, your invader.
I grinned at you when I saw your startled expression before I kissed you on your soft cheeks, murmuring a small greeting. I saw you blush and look at me shyly. It’s really cute.
“Hey… What are you doing here?” You asked, turning your body so that you were fully facing me. I giggled; you didn’t even struggle to get out of my grasp.
I smiled sweetly at you, rubbing my cheeks on yours in adoration as I spoke the words, which my heart has been longing to say to you.
“I came because want to see you…”
“O-Ohh…” You blushed deeper, its just too cute. I tried not to point it out to you, knowing that you would deny my complement, it was very much like you. I wish you’d appreciate yourself, you’re too good, it almost always make me want to worship you even.
The thought was amusing, I would have told you but I can’t just say that little bit can I? I just know you’d protest.
“Are you finished with your pastry?” I whispered, looking at you with loving eyes, I watch you nod your head obediently, while your arms were finally wrapped onto my waist.
“Can I taste it?”
I stared at you, gazing at you with puppy dog eyes, I know you’d give in even without me using it, but I just want to see your expression.
As expected, you blushed harder and nodded frantically.
“Yes! Try it!”
“Don’t mind if I do then…” I giggled, I slipped off one of my arm from your waist and using my free hand I picked up a strawberry from your finished confection, staring at it, pretending to examine it.
You looked anxiously at me, fearing my reaction.
My lips quirked up to form a smirk before it instantly disappeared.
The devil in me was calling me, telling me what to do, and I did what it told me.
I placed the strawberry on your lips, putting it on your mouth before I pressed my lips onto yours. I could feel your body stiffen when our lips met, but you did not protest and kissed me with the same intense passion and vigor that I gave you.
It left me breathless.
We parted after finally devouring down the fruit, you looked dazed and you had this kind of expression of bliss on your face.
I smiled, enjoying what I did. I leaned for a second kiss, a small peck on your cherry pink lips before I pulled back again and nuzzled my face onto the crook of your neck. I heard you sigh and enjoy this embrace, your little frame pressed on my body relaxed from its stiffness.
There was silence between us, but we’ve come to this silent little agreement and there were no more words needed to be said and we both just enjoyed this sweet company we have together.
I want to say it though, but maybe some other time.
I love the pastry you made.
It’s sweet and filled with love.
Most of all, I love you, my cute little baker Minami.
Thank you for the treat, it was the most scrumptious flavor I’ve ever tasted.
The flavor of your sweet love.
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End
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A/N: If no one noticed it, the POV is from Atsuko, though I think everyone gets it at the end after all. XD Anyways, I hope you enjoyed that short shot! See you again next time! :)
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Thanks for Update :thumbup
More AtsuMina, please :cathappy: :cathappy: :cathappy: :cathappy:
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Oh god, you again made me speechless... I was staring in awe at the text before my very own eyes... I read it twice... And I'll read it the third time after commenting. I'd 'thank' it lots of times if I had such an option/possibility (I'd do that to all your updates)
Really, you are just PURELY AMAZING. The way you put words, the way you describe things is just PURE WIN. You never fail to amuse me, to shock me, to sadden me, to make me laugh, fluffy, dizzy or surprised. And at this point I'm already melting...
This story for me is like that strawberry for Minami and Atsuko. All that sweetness, fluffiness, cuteness that you gave us in this not that long OS is just the perfect length considering the quality of it. Just the right amount to satisfy our hunger and cravings for this couple.
This may not be my longest comment, but it is a really sincere one. Like my comment before, this one is also made out of you making me think too much.. I really imagined everything while reading... I always do so when reading your fics.. I wish I could write like this... But my vocabulary is lacking, so...
Nevertheless, I just wanted to say that you really deserve to be The God of Fanfics, and I know lots of people would agree with me. (If not, well, that means I'm biased XD ) But really, your fanfics are perfection. If you ever write a book or something - I hope you do that in the future - I'll buy it despite any content it has. Because I know that no matter what kind of book it could be, it would be awesome.
Back from my dreams to reality... I wanted to say that my comment might turn into another long one... That's how your fanfics make me feel... And I thought this one will be short.... :nervous
Anyway, I am really waiting for another part of Chinmoku - I still try to put in my mind the thought of it being my request.... I really can't grasp that my request is made not as a one shot, but as a whole story.. A perfect, awesome, trophy worth story... I am really glad I asked you for this pairing...
Okay, time for me to end this long comment and just patiently wait for your another update. And congratulations on +1000!!!
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Indeed sweet~ strawberry kiss~
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aww the kiss so romantic.. but now im felling forever alone... maeda give me a kiss too :D
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Not an update, just gonna reply on this comments...
Replies:
@hara - Thank you. Not really that confident in writing the AtsuMina pairing, but I'll try to write again about them. :)
@sakura_drop_ - You're praising me too much... I'm quite honored and flattered. I'm glad though that I made you feel that way with my writing, because I'm never always too sure what my readers are always feeling while reading, thank you for telling me. To be honest, I'm always nervous when updating, since I don't know what you all would feel while and after reading, I always reread my works, but you can say that.....I never feel anything that intense from them... :lol:
Hahaha, again, I'm honored for receiving this much praise, that title though surely doesn't suit me, sorry, I still can't shake off this thought, hahaha. XD sakura-san, I wouldn't go that far to write a book, writing and reading novels here in PH is never too much popular, but thank you for telling me that.
I'm alright with long comments, I always reread most of my readers comments in my spare time, their quite inspiring me to write. Its a boost to be honest whenever I receive long comments, I appreciate the effort of people commenting this much long and I also want to place as much effort, maybe more, into my writing.
I can't believe that this would actually be a long one, I thought I would have been able to end this at Part III to be honest, but well you can say that while I was writing Part I, I kind of.....wrote it long and I cut it off because it was way too long, that's why there are parts and after that, it went to this....its really like a full-blown story, it feels like I could even place this in another thread. :lol:
Anyways, thank you again. Currently in the process of writing Chinmoku to be honest, trying to make Part V special. :lol: What kind of special it is, you'll all find that out when you read it... XD
@kahem - Hahaha, it is a sweet kiss huh...
@Haruko - Hahaha... :lol: Takamina won't like it if you ask her beloved Acchan a kiss, Haruko-san. XD
To be honest I'm not really confident with writing AtsuMina, while their an awesome and wonderful pair, I can't really say that I can make the best writing for them that would match their awesomeness. I'm glad though that I received some positive comments and thank yous from everyone. That's kind of encouraging. Maybe in the near future, I'll try to write another AtsuMina shot. :)
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A/N: Posting another one-shot. It's another famous pairing! Won't say who's POV it is, I'll know you'll guess who it is at the end. Still currently writing Chinmoku Part V, haven't finished it to be honest, got caught up with some project like task that I need to complete. :sweatdrop:
Anyways, hope you enjoy this shot!
<<------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->>
I’ll Reach You Again
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One-shot
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Stars, millions and millions of them brightly sparkled up across this dark lit night. It was heavenly, seeing such a sight like this, it was ethereal, pure and real.
It reminds me of you, the shining brilliant you.
I sighed softly, closing my eyes for a moment while I lift my arms and stayed still in my position, letting the night breeze cool my small body.
Remembering you makes me miss you a lot to be honest.
I wonder; are you also looking at the same scenery right now? Are you under these beautiful sparkling seas of stars, having the same feeling as me?
I know I’ll never get any answers just from wondering.
I can’t help it though.
I miss you.
I want to see you already.
This distance between us hurts. I need you here by my side.
Every morning, whenever I wake up from a dream, a dream about you and me, of us, I would often wake up with tears cascading down my cheeks, and I notice that my hands are reached up, grasping nothing.
It hurts.
It hurts me too much knowing that whenever I wake up, I would notice the space beside me is empty and cold. It reminds me of the days when I wake up and see you beside me, sleeping peacefully. I would end up watching you sleep until you wake up and protest at me for what you think is silly.
I know you like it when I’m watching you, I know you like it when I have all my attention on you even though at times you try to act annoyed or irked by it. You never seem to reprimand me about it.
I could still remember you pout after protesting, and walk off, your back facing me on occasions like that, but I know, deep inside, you were smiling.
I cherish those moments the most.
It hurts whenever I remember that you aren’t here beside me to smile at me or scold me for being silly. It makes me remember how much we’re apart from each other.
Whenever I remember these happy memories, I would often sulk in my room, and whenever I see a photo of you smiling with me beside you, I would often result to shed tears.
I miss you.
I bit my bottom lip and opened up eyes, I looked up at the skies with bleary eyes, tears flooding my eyesight.
It hurts.
Even though sometimes you try to push me away, even though sometimes it seems like you don’t like me, even to the point of trying to discourage me to give up on pursuing you after who knows how long I’ve loved you.
It hurts, but I know you were only doing this for my sake.
That’s why I’ve already come to a conclusion long ago.
I’ll cross this distance between us.
I won’t stop from loving you.
I’ll show you just how serious I am.
I’ll slowly dissipate this distance between us.
No matter how long it will take.
This game of cat and mouse, I’ll continue on playing it.
Knowing that you’ll always be waiting for me at the very end.
I know, without any needless thoughts that would put me down, I won’t falter.
I’ll follow my heart, which longs for you.
I’ll follow it like it’s a shining star that guides me to you.
This is the conclusion I’ve thought.
Now I’ll show you, how much I’m serious.
I calmed the emotions stirring in my heart. I wipe the tears off my eyes and smiled.
Under this starry night skies, I vow that I won’t falter again.
I’ll stop from missing you, I’ll stop myself from feeling miserable.
I’ll make a way to be beside you.
I’ll start taking a step forward, forward to the path which will guide me to you.
Just wait, one day I’ll reach you again, my shining light, Nyan Nyan.
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End
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<<------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->>
A/N: This shot is a KojiYuu one. Sorry for posting something this short though, to be honest, this is just a quickie from me. Just wrote this now because I wanted to post something a bit negative and positive. :lol: Just caught up in the mood~ :lol:
Anyways, see you again next time! :cathappy:
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Poor Yuko it must be hard to be away from her Nyan Nyan...
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Ah, Sieka-san!!!!!! I already love you sooo much, now you make me worship you even more!!! This is amazing!!! What you wrote feels real and OMG it's KojiYuu!!! THANK YOU!!!
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Gekikara moved too fast.. Black had such a traumatic experience with sex thing, so she should be surprised with Geki’s act..But, Black’s act to Geki was too cruel T_T poor gekikara..
Although it’s not easy, I hope Black can overcome her traumatic past..She should move on..She have Gekikara who love her with all her heart..
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Not gonna post an update for Chinmoku, nor a one-shot, I would just like to place my feelings into words, its kind of hard to keep them bottled up because it feels like it'll explode...
I shouldn't be here to be honest, because I'm rather sick, I even took a day off from practice in school, but that little detail is nothing too serious, still the depression weighs in so badly... anyways, let's just get this on shall we? This will be a rather long post...
Thoughts on Acchan's graduation.
Frankly speaking, I have mixed emotions right now but the most of what I feel is discouragement.
I'm easily discouraged, especially when things start to get too tight, like its hard to breath.
This news is hard to digest, to be honest, I still can't believe this is happening, but that's life isn't it?
We just have to take it in, no matter how much we want to deny it.
It's already in front of us.
I'm not disappointed, I'm just depressed about this news, but after calming down and taking into consideration everything that Acchan said, I've come to the point where I realize that it is a great start, a good leap to start a new dream, and a new destination to start walking forward to and although the path towards the future might seem hazy and uncertain, I know that Acchan can do it.
Though there are still reminiscent of half wishful thinking that this is just some joke or a crazy prank, I know and I'm aware of the weight and the gravity of this news, I'm quite serious while writing this right now to be honest. I don't think I can smile and shrug this off you know.
Although Acchan may not be my oshimen, I'm proud of her for taking this big leap in her life, I'm proud of her because she's determined to try to step into the cruel real world, I'm really happy for her that she has come to this terms, I'm glad that she has thought it thoroughly.
Jurina's transfer to Team K.
I know that Aki-P also gave this thought into deep consideration, frankly all this news is giving me mixed emotions, especially Jurina's rental transfer in team K, I'm worried about her to be honest, she may be SKE's center and all, but she's still young, the responsibility of handling a position in K and in S is quite large, I hope she doesn't overwork herself. I know everyone in SKE is worried for her, and I know everyone is monitoring her health too. I hope she takes care of herself.
I'm happy for Jurina though on her transfer, I know she'll grow more in AKB's environment, it will also be a good challenge for SKE and for Jurina.
I'm also happy for the kenkyuuseis and Miyuki for their transfers, though somehow, Acchan's news still has a big impact, I don't think I can be that much happy, can I? Somehow, the feeling of excitement for AKB's anime is running low on me, considering this news, I'll still look forward to what's to come, but I can't say that the fear in my heart will leave, somehow I have this big fear right now after knowing of Acchan's graduation.
If ever that another member will graduate from AKB, I'll probably get sunk on the mud even further, this is actually too much to handle even though I've come to the point of supporting Acchan on her decision. I'll probably sink into further sadness if my oshi from AKB, Yuki or my oshi from SKE, Rena, graduates. I hoping the other members won't graduate this year, not this year please, or in the next year...Acchan's is just too much to handle, another graduation to come will just make it hard for me.
(To think that I'm also graduating from high school this year, this has got to be the most saddest news I've heard, I don't think I can even look forward to my graduation knowing that it'll just remind me of Acchan... Year 2012 will be a big year imprinted on my head forever...)
With regards to my updates, I'll still continue on writing, although its rather discouraging to hear Acchan's news, I'll still continue on writing. I'm already thinking of a shot for AtsuMina, though I'm quite slow in the process of making my shots and all, I'll still work on that thought of mine and even if Acchan won't be there beside Takamina anymore, I'll still ship and write for AtsuMina, I can't exactly pair Takamina with anyone, seriously. AtsuMina will always be AtsuMina to me.
My update for Chinmoku will be rather late this time, I'm still sad, but I'm still writing it.
Any other future shots or stories in mind will still be written, yes, I'll continue on writing no matter what. I won't let this get to me, though its discouraging and depressing, I'm trying to put this as my inspiration to strive for the best in all of my stories.
Nevertheless in this situation, let's not forget to smile and look forward to the future!
(When we all finally digest this whole situation and accept all the terms in.)
We may cry and stumble at times when the hours of peeking sadness comes, let's not forget, there's always a beautiful tomorrow awaiting us at the end of the day.
The future may seem uncertain, but there's always a light behind the darkness, and no matter what happens, I will always support everyone through and through.
Thank you for the past six years.
Thank you for everything you've done!
I'll miss you Acchan!
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A/N: Update time. Gonna post Chinmoku Part V today, though I'm rather disappointed at myself on this update, not the best I've written if I can say, I don't know if because I'm being pessimistic right now because of Acchan's news, but I'm trying to be lively...
BTW, thank you for everyone who gave me their kind comments and thank yous in Chinmoku Part IV, its really encouraging, really it is, I've already commented on everyone's reply there, and it can be found here (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1016383#msg1016383).
Gonna reply to the other comments I received before we go on with the update...
Replies:
@kahem - Separation really hurts, especially when you have a strong bond with that person and out of nowhere you are forced to be apart from one another. Its really sad because you can't do anything about it, even if you want to, you can't do anything about it because you're overridden by your own emotions.
Yuko's hurting a lot there, but so is Haruna and even though Haruna is pushing away Yuko, she was doing it to lessen the pain between them, but its useless you know, because the impacts still the same.
@sakura_drop_ - Thank you.
@yukofan - Gekikara was just desperate. Jealous even, just not that obvious. Black can move on, as long as someone guides her forward, a little help and a little push and she'll be back up, but it will take a long process though.
Again, I would like to say thank you to everyone who commented and gave me their thanks to the one-shots that I've posted. I would also like to say thank you to those who have given me their thanks on my post concerning Acchan and Jurina.
Now lets get on with this update. Whether this is good or bad, this is up to you guys, I still hope you enjoy this.
<<------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->>
Chinmoku
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Part V
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Silence…
It was disturbing and the anxiety was floating about in the atmosphere.
The silence that was hanging around the two of them was too deafening that it cut deep through Black’s heart, painfully even, comparable to being stab by a knife.
“Sorry…”
She heard them.
“Just…sorry.”
Like a broken cassette tape, they repeated again and again.
“It seems…I can’t keep my end of the promise…”
Those few words, which were spoken by someone important to her, someone she would like to spend her forever with, hurt her deeply. Even with the distance parting them, she heard them. That was how sharp she was, or so she may as well say when it comes to the younger queen.
Black was that aware.
Her eyes never trailed away from the shadowy figure in front of her, this distance was too far, and she could hardly even see Gekikara’s face.
The distance was overbearing.
How she wished she could walk forward and erase the distance between them, how she wished she could see Gekikara’s face, or even her whole figure, but her body would not move, she could not move even a single inch, nor could she even open her mouth. Her throat felt dry, she could hardly even endure the pain that was threatening to tear off her throat apart. She wanted to call Gekikara, wanting to make her stop. It did not help one bit that Gekikara did not spoke again, it did not help that she started to hear footsteps, and in each step, the farther she could hear them, the more her heart ached.
Darkness always felt comforting to Black’s mind, but this time around, she hated the dark, the dark world where she could hide herself and feel at peace, this dark world of hers was slowly but surely swallowing whatever silhouette she could see that remained of Gekikara’s figure.
It was taking Gekikara away from her, yet…she could not do anything about it.
She felt powerless under this situation.
Nothing like this occurred in the past, Black was taken aback by everything that happened, she never had this kind of situation occur on her, whether she could call it a fight or what, and she could not just place a finger on what just occurred between her and Gekikara.
She was confused and hurt at the same time.
Her thoughts were lying on the floor even, scrambled like a broken jigsaw puzzle. She could not think of any concrete idea in her head.
She could not think at all, because all of her being is focused solely on Gekikara’s silhouette. Black could not even tear her eyes away from the younger queens descending frame even when tears clouded her vision and made her sight bleary.
If this were a bad dream, she would have loved to wake up soon and just shrug off these heavy feelings in her heart and the tears the build up on the corner of her eyes.
Black would have brushed them all off, if it just did not felt this real.
It was to be expected.
This isn’t a dream or a nightmare that Black preferably calls it.
This is reality.
How she wished that she had heard wrong, how she wished that for once, she was wrong with everything that she was hearing, but regretfully, she was awfully right.
It hurts.
The pain in her heart was building up with each second that passed by that the distance between them grew, she felt totally helpless, just like in that horrible day, she felt paralyzed and weak.
She hated this feeling.
She couldn’t do anything but make a fool of herself and let things happen.
Black hated how she couldn’t do anything but watch the scene unfold in front of her and watch as the person whom she cared leave. She was just letting someone whom she dearly cherishes, someone she asked to remain by her side for a selfish desire of eternal companionship.
That selfishness of hers left a bitter taste on her mouth.
Yes, it was very selfish of her to ask that much from Gekikara, she knew that the other queen depended on her a lot in the past, even at this current moment, and she took the younger queen’s dependence for granted.
Asking for forever, even an eternity together was too selfish of her, yet Gekikara tried to remain by her side, even at the worst times in Black’s life, even when Black sometimes shuns her, and just wanting to choose to be alone than to be in someone’s company in the past.
Yet Gekikara never stopped, she never did.
Gekikara, even knowing that she was not needed at some certain points, still continued to follow Black, even though Black would just leave her behind, even if Black would try to avoid her at some point. Gekikara did not falter, she continued to follow Black even from a distance or from the shadows, she was always around Black; that was how her loyalty stood, that was how much she valued her vow.
It was not fair.
It was never fair for Gekikara.
Even when Black was undergoing those painful months of her pregnancy, the younger girl stayed with her, even when she would at times lash out her anger over the simplest things, even when Black was cold to Gekikara, she stayed by Black’s side until the best of what her time could offer.
It’s not fair.
Black knew for so long of the younger girl’s hidden affections, it was obvious after all, especially when they were often alone in each other's company, yet she didn’t told Gekikara about it, knowing that the shorter girl would become defensive and evasive over it.
She already knew it for so long; the younger girl would often give it away due to her actions. Black knew of it because of how Gekikara would cling to her and stay by her side most of the times, even with her glances or stares, Black would often see the love and adoration in the younger girl’s eyes.
She would often ignore it, even when it sent her heart soaring, even when she knew that she herself had that kind of deep affections for the younger girl, she held them and lock them up in her heart.
She didn’t deserve Gekikara’s feelings.
She didn’t deserve everything that Gekikara’s giving to her.
She just doesn’t.
Black could never offer anything back, whether it would be her feelings, her body or her soul, she could never offer them. Everything about her was simply painted and marred with dark colors, and no one would love someone as tainted and scarred as her.
She knew to a fault that she could never deserve anything good in her life, what with all the misery she had given back to other people and after all the pain and heartbreaks she gave to her parents, there was no way she could accept something as gracious and pure as Gekikara’s feelings.
She could not accept them… That was why she resolved to be a reliable friend. That was the very reason why Black took it upon herself to change herself slowly, step by step, and be more caring, be more like the old Yuki.
It still did not mean that it did not left Black twisting and gnawing in pain over her actions, of her own refusal.
It hurts…
The younger girl was already within her grasp, yet she let her go, because she could never accept someone tainted, scarred and dirty as herself, she is never someone fitting for someone like Gekikara.
Her nickname, Black, had a big resemblance to how she is.
Everything about her was dyed with the most impure and darkest color, which was her nickname, Black. That was the very essence of how she got her name, she chose it so that she would never forget of her own impurity, of her sinful self and the pain and misery that she used to hurt her parents and taint her own family name.
It still hurts, whenever she remembers the look of horror, disappointment and remorse of her own parents.
It hurts when she first felt that her parents’ warm gesture turned cold and dull.
For the first weeks after that incident, Black would cry herself to sleep; knowing that not everything would be the same, knowing that she had clearly disappointed her parents’ expectations on her.
It hurts…
It hurts so much…
She lost everything because of that incident.
She lost all of her hopes, her dreams and her aspirations.
And in the process…
…She lost herself.
She lost everything that is Kashiwagi Yuki; she lost everything about her that her parents and friends loved, and it still leaves a sting in her heart.
Black still has not forgotten, nor has she still gotten over it.
She could never get over it.
Even until now, Black is trying to rebuild herself and pick up whatever remaining shards are left of the figure that was her in the past.
Black copped up with every pain she felt, every single time she increased the misery, every single time she disappointed her parents continuously, she copped with the pain in her heart.
This is a different matter however.
This pain is too much.
It hurts so much right now; it almost feels like this is a repetition of that past disappointment. It hurts so much because it even surpassed the pain that Black felt on those days.
It only became more painful now that the most valuable treasure Black held close to her heart was crumbling.
Their bond, which she wanted to last forever, was collapsing. Everything that they’ve established up from the moment they became friends in their early days of high school up till now was all for not, it hurts too much that it left a painful heartbreaking feeling in Black’s heart.
It hurts…
Black could almost hear her own heart break inside her, it was deafening, how everything was starting to fall apart like a jigsaw puzzle, each parts fell off with one of them slip off, making large gaps and holes until there was no concrete picture left but an empty case.
It hurts…
Please, stop this pain…
Please…
If the pain is this intense, what more if it was from the younger queen? She could not imagine nor feel what the shorter girl might be feeling, but she knew somehow that Gekikara could never resist feeling emotional pain.
‘I’m sorry…’
‘I’m hurting you too aren’t I? And yet I’m not doing anything…’
Black stifled a sniffle, she could not look any further and watch Gekikara from completely leaving so she opted herself to look away and grasp the hem of her jacket.
Silence…
Everything was wrapped up in total silence; Black could no longer hear any footsteps or any other form of human activities present in her surroundings.
There was nothing anymore.
There was no one else around but her.
That realization left a very sharp bitter taste in her mouth; it made Black want to gag, it felt too foul.
She fought the tears from spilling off her eyes, but it was useless, she could not stop herself from crying. Drop by drop, her tears started to flow endlessly, and no matter how much she tried to wipe them off, tears continued to flow a new down her cheeks.
‘I’m so pathetic…’ Black thought, as her trembling hand reached up to touch the tears that grazed her warm cheeks, she felt the coolness of her tears running on her fingers, it made her tremble. When Black withdrew her hand back, she looked at the small teardrop in her fingers.
‘I’m…crying again…’
‘P…Pathetic…’ Black tried to smile, but it just came out as twisted bitter smile.
Black could not stop herself from trembling all over, and before she knew it, her legs collapsed under her weight, the older teen tried to stand up, yet in each small attempt she did, she ended up failing miserably. She could not do anything about her whole body; it just would not stop itself from shaking uncontrollably.
The older teen leaned on the wall and looked up towards the sky, watching as the sparkling stars started to deform into a blurred light. There was never any concrete shape anymore, whether it was the moon or the clouds.
She could not see anything anymore.
Everything turned blurry and hazy, nothing seemed certain anymore.
Black bit her trembling bottom lip; her tears blurred her sight and her perception of her surroundings. Uncertainty crept into Black’s heart, she felt lost and most of all, alone in this world.
One of her pillar of support crumble, one of which was the most important support and strength she holds onto. Black would have took it rather well if it was a simple fight, if it was just a simple misunderstanding, but it ranged into something higher than what she would prefer to call normal.
Black hated misunderstandings, but she hated it the most when she could not even clear it up, she was never good with explaining her side, knowing that she had lost that option a very long time ago.
She felt guilty, she felt angry and disappointed at herself.
Yet she couldn’t do anything about it even if Black wanted to.
‘Idiot…’
‘…You are such an idiot…Yuki…’ Black scoffed at herself as she continued to cry, small sobs escaped her lips as she grasped her clothes tightly.
Black was very aware that it was already deep in the night; she knew that she is the only person in the street, yet she did not care, she did not care whether she looked like a fool. She did not care whether her body was freezing from the coldness of the night breeze or when the clouds started to obscure the stars.
She could care less about them.
Nothing mattered more than the people she loves and cherish.
Nothing mattered more…
Black sat on the pavement, her arms wrapped around her body tightly for a long time; she couldn’t move herself from her position. She just couldn’t; knowing that this place was where she last saw Gekikara here, knowing that this was where she once had the other girl by her side.
She couldn’t just leave, knowing that she already let Gekikara leave her alone.
It was hard to digest, this situation of hers…
Just what had gone wrong?
Just a few minutes ago, they were happily walking together, just a few minutes, they held hands…and after those everything faded into a chaos, from Gekikara’s shocking declaration, to her sudden kiss, everything just went fast in just a matter of minutes.
It went too fast, time was never on her side; Black knew that fact very well.
It made her want to blame everything on it, but she knew she could not because she inflicted this pain on herself.
It was her fault, not just partly, but wholly.
It hurts…
Her heart hurts…
It hurts so much because of this separation, and it was killing Black.
Black gritted her teeth; she clutched her chest and winced as she felt her heart beating madly inside her ribcage. It was wildly beating, protesting inside of her body, asking and begging her to ease the pain within her storm-clouded heart.
‘I’m such an idiot…’ Black scowled at herself, belittling herself for being what she is and for not doing anything at all. She knew however that no matter how much she tries to place herself down, no matter how much she’s disgusted of herself, of her own cowardly hideous self, it wouldn’t solve this problem.
Nothing will change, no matter how much she punishes herself.
‘This…is really pathetic…’
Black moved herself a bit and adjusted her position, her silver rosary softly creating noises in each of her movement as the joints of the metals clink together. The rosary caught Black’s attention when the former queen looked down and stared at the shining cross dangling on her neck.
Raising her trembling hand up, Black grasped the cross and held it tight, feeling the pointy parts of the metal pierce into the flesh of her palm, yet she did not let go.
She could not let go of it.
This was the only remaining thing she held from Gekikara.
This rosary was far more precious to Black than herself; that was how much she treasures this little gift from the younger girl.
She could not just let go of it.
Because this is Gekikara’s encouragement gift to her.
This was a present to commemorate their friendship, Gekikara’s first friendship, and by whatever horrible prank or joke this was by a deity, the cross was given to her on the very day of when she was violated.
Yet she could not let it go.
Even though the item became one of her remembrance on that fate-altering day.
She could never let it go.
‘I’m sorry.’ Black stifled a sob while she scoffed at herself for her own self-destruction, for her own self-inflicted pain. She shook her head in her own disappointment and brought her legs to her chest before embracing them with one of her free arm, burying her face onto her knees, letting out freely the sobs she tried so desperately to contain which eventually became a wail.
‘I’m so sorry…’
‘…Rena…’
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End of Part V
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A/N: Author is angsting as well to be honest, it didn't help that I had a lot of sad songs lined up in my track list and they were all playing while I wrote this.
Has anyone ever wondered why this story's name is Chinmoku? You guys try to guess, no prizes, just for fun, try and guess why, I'll explain later on why.
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About Atsuko's Graduation
Well said Sieka-san, Atsuko's graduation gave a huge impact to numerous fans around the world and she made a big decision to pursue her next dream. Many of her fans and AKB fans such as I, wish that this announcement was just a joke or a dream that we don't want ever to wake up, we can't do anything but accept the fact that this is reality and we can't run away from it. It's a big and a hard decision that Atsuko would have to make, because to pursue her next dream such as an Actress, Singer or whatever, she would have to give up something precious and dear to her: AKB48, which she had spend most of her youth in it, six whole years and a half.
I'm also depress at the news and I don't want her to leave yet and I would get even more depress if ever my oshimen; Takamina or my favorite members which is most of them, would graduate, but that's how life goes. There's nothing I can do to stop them from pursuing their dreams, but to support them until the end.
I'm sure going to miss Atsuko's smiles and laughs in AKBINGO and more, I'm going to miss her of being herself on shows. Though I'm sure I'm going to see her in numerous dramas but not her as being herself but as the character of the story.
Though I've only known AKB48 for two years, I'm really going to miss you; Maeda Atsuko, thank you so much for being yourself and being in AKB48. Thanks to you and AKB members, I've got a real interest in the group. And no matter what, I'll still support you and the rest of the AKB members till the end.
Thank you Meada Atsuko for the six years you've spent in AKB48.
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I can understand your own angsty feelings atm Seika, I think alot of us are going through those sorts of feelings in one way or another over one or more of the announcements, has rather taken the spirit out of me wanting to comment on your fic, but as you are carrying on with it I felt as though I owed you at least a response for what is another good chapter!
I feel that maybe parts of Black's story here are almost stories in a way we all feel about Acchan and other things no? Not quite so dramatic as it is here but still alot of the feelings Black has here sort of ring true don't they....
I feel sorry for poor Black though, much like Rena thinks that she has 'lost' Black because of her actions, Black herself thinks she has lost Rena, Black though is twinged with a sadness I feel that she blames alot of it on herself, even though she reacted like she did for good reason, she is angry with herself really that she reacted that way to Geki, she is angry that she forgot it was Geki in front of her and not someone else...
Maybe part od it is almost a guilt, because of the fact it was Geki who was her hope yet she still reacted they way she did, maybe thats why she let Geki leave, she felt she had done wrong, that maybe Geki deserved better than her that like Geki she dislikes herself though the other loves then and vice versa.....
sorry it's not so great, i gave it a go....
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Wow you just describe how I painful I feel right now through Black T___T This chapter goes so well with the mood surrounding me lately after all the shocking news at the concert I kinda want to go into self denial mood like Geki and Black too. Despite all of the angst, I love your writing as always. And for the title, I'm no good at Japanese but I'm guessing the meaning is silence? Have no idea how it gonna play out in the future but this chapter alone already have a lot of dreadful silence to me T__T
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Sieka-san...
I also feel disappointment about the news that reached my eyes and ears. I was really shocked with Acchan's decision to graduate, and I was disappointed. Really disappointed. But not with her. With myself. I never really paid her much attention in the past, thinking to myself that she'd become my oshimen sooner or later. Unfortunately, I was too late. Just when I was starting to take the time to pay her the same attention I give to my No# 1 Oshimen, she gave the news of graduating.
Her news also made me realize. That I shouldn't be so narrow-minded on paying attention to just my favourites, but to others as well. Why? Well, it's becuase I will never know when my favourites will announce their own graduation.
Her news also made me realize another thing. And that is the fact that no one will stay in AKB48 or SKE48 or the sister groups. They joined those idol groups, so that they can pursue their dreams as they prepare themselves. That fact is painful, I know. But it i inevitiable. They didn't join those groups to stay there or anything. And that made me look at Acchan in a new light. A better one than before.
At first, I thought that she was just a great actress, and that she's beautiful. But no. There's more to her. She's also courageous, and strong. Her decision, I'm sure, was thought of for a very long time. I know that because she's the FACE. The ACE of the group. And one of the first generation girls. It could also be seen that her decision pained her. But she had to choose the best for her future.
I hope that her fans would stop saying 'NO, ACCHAN!' and instead tell her that they'd support her no matter what. She must be feeling crushed and confused whether she made the right decision, because of what the fans are saying. I'm really proud of her. And now...I regret that I never paid her a lot of attention.
And because of her news, I have decided. I WILL support each and every one of them. I will NOT JUST focus on my oshimen.
ANYWAY, that has been my opinions. Onto the comments~
Sieka-san... What can I say? I feel that compliments aren't enough to make you realize just how much I like- no, ADORE, your fic. I LOVE it. And I can't help but crave for more. I like how you made this chapter about Black's sadness, her misery, and regrets. Wait, no. I LOVED HOW YOu MADE IT THIS WAY.
I can't ask of you to make them feel anymore pain, because I know that you'd do that yourself. I really feel the pain, and the sadness you were trying to make us readers feel. And I'm proud to say that YOU are my NUMBER #1 author. :kneelbow: Thank you.
There are no words that can explain just how thankful I am for reading a fic as great as this. I can just offer the words THANK YOU. THANK YOU SO MUCH.
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plss..
update soon I LOVE GEKIBLACK stories
I hope you will not be discouraged to write
even maeda is graduating I hope you continue to write
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A/N: No updates for Chinmoku as of the moment, taking a break from all the angst in it, gonna update next week, I think? Not really sure because it might take me a long time to write Part VI. I'm not going on a semi-hiatus, don't worry, I'm just trying to think of how to incorporate some parts so that Part VI would go smoothly... :lol:
Gonna post a short prelude for a story, I just got this idea yesterday, after reading some mangas... Can't say I'll update this consistently as Chinmoku because honestly, I just write and post freely as I want, and I still have to continue on writing the next story for the second prize winner. Gonna fully start writing it after Chinmoku so that I can give my full attention to the next one.
Mah, before we go on, gonna reply to some comments, kinda noticed that the fanfiction thread has been down in the drains, its kind of...not lively? Can't blame the others though, what with the news and all, but I think that we shouldn't get easily discouraged, I also hope that the other writers would post their updates and all and never give up writing, its such an encouragement to see your fellow writers update to be honest. :)
Anyways....
Replies:
@RJay - That's typically what anyone would feel after hearing such a big news, I'm quite shocked when I heard of it, I mean I never did expect that she would announce something like that soon, I always thought that she might stay there, but life just has so much surprises, I don't think I can handle another big surprise as that though. I'm sure though that everyone will think thoroughly of this, the day of their graduations, whenever the time comes, I know they are also thinking of their fans while they have this kind of depressing thoughts.
Its saddening to see Acchan leave, we won't be able to see her anymore in the shows where all the AKB members are in and other events, but I think that its a good challenge for her to stand up on her own two feet and use her own strength to push her career further up. Its a challenge, but I think its motivating and inspiring to see Acchan want to do such a thing.
@oddball - You don't owe me any comments, oddball-san. You don't need to comment if you don't want to, I understand the weight of the situation, everyone's feeling down so I know that they would like to be alone or think for a while. But thank you, I appreciate that you did comment, I don't think its poorly done, I have to say, I feel proud to see you try even amidst the sadness that you bear in your heart. :) Thank you.
Hmm, to be honest, I was writing Part V before Acchan announced her graduation, I didn't really think that it would fit well with the atmosphere now...and I couldn't bring myself to change it after hearing Acchan's news...I just think that it would be a waste not to go through with what I have written, even though I wanted to post something happy so that everyone would lighten up.
Yes, that's true... Partly because of guilt, but partly because of love. Black does like Geki, just that she doesn't want to push it in, that's why she just lets their relationship hang off as being friends, because she knows that she has some unresolved issues like her fear and about her past. I think anyone who experienced something like that would feel the same of not being able to be the perfect person or the ideal one to be with their loved ones.
@dukkong - Please don't go into self denial mode. :( I know its hard, but do your best! I know Acchan would like it if everyone smiles, even amidst all this shocking and sad news... Yes, Chinmoku means silence, though I didn't really meant to make this part seem that silent.. :sweatdrop:
@karomuwi - Yeah, I know what you mean... I kind of thought of that while I was writing through my thoughts about Acchan's graduation. We all shouldn't just focus on our oshis, we should focus on everyone because if we just pay attention to them by the time they leave, everything would just be hard on us, won't it? I mean, its like when you have something in front of you, and you just shrug it off and don't pay attention to it, later then when you want it, you'll see that you've already lost it before you can even have it...
I think everyone will come down into a term where they'll have to support her, I mean its her decision, we should respect it. Acchan had it hard on her too, we all know that its hard to separate one's self from your friends like that. Everyone should be open to the fact that the girls have lives of their own and dreams they want to achieve, not just in AKB, I do think when the tension and sadness calms down, everyone will find it in their hearts to support her wholeheartedly, I know all the Acchan fans can.
Well... I can't really distinguish whether I did great whenever I write, I do tend to reread them, but I guess there's this total rule in me that even though people think its great, I see a fault in everything in it. :lol:
U...Uwah... That's kind of too much karomuwi-san... I don't think I can uphold being your #1 author. I'm sure I'd disappoint you sooner or later on... :sweatdrop: But thank you for the kind comments, its really encouraging. :)
@Chikane Himemiya - I'll continue on writing, you don't need to worry. As long as my mind is active and I have plots circling around my head, I'll continue on writing. Though depressing is it with Acchan's news, I find it that its inspiring to see her aiming for her new dream outside of AKB. :)
@anzai48 - Ahahaha....I do make long detailed scenes, its kind of a problem you know....because I can spend five pages on just writing a scene like that and I still might not be able to progress over the next scene....... :lol: Though I'm glad, it seems like it made your head steam? Hohoho.... :heart:
What sensation? I want to know...lol, joke. :lol:
Its hard to forget about the past if someones trying to trigger it back again... Geki was doing just that. If only Geki took into consideration of Black's feelings, then maybe nothing like that would happen, ahh, but she was driven by desperation, need, want and jealousy....its in human nature, a terrible fact.
To be exact, I think....it would only take less than 15 minutes for that scene to happen..... I'm just very verbose, its kind of a habit to be honest, I can't seem to stop myself from being overly detailed, I think its a pain sometimes when I go over the board and describe almost everything when it isn't even needed, it kind of.....wrecks the story when I'm overly descriptive. :sweatdrop:
Black IS a magnet for Geki. If melon pan is a magnet for Rena, then you might say that... Black = Melon Pan+Spicy Food
I call that insecurities, Black and Geki are insecure of each other, they don't see their selves as anything good for the people they love, now if they just move on and start going after each other, then these insecurities wouldn't be there. I should blame myself that it has come to this.... :lol:
Ah no, that's not a dere dere Yuki, that's angst Yuki... :)
Dere dere Yuki is a Yuki that's affectionate... :heart:
Thank you for the comment, and no problem about the vocabulary. :)
Did I reply to everyone? I think I did...
Anyways, gonna post this one here and leave it up to you guys whether you read it or not, still, its just a prelude.
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Inequality
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Prelude
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I hate math.
I hate symbols and formulas.
I dislike the inequalities that make up math wholly.
Problems, solutions and errors, it’s always there.
There will always be many possibilities in every attempt and in every step.
Life is not like that however.
You cannot just use trial and error methods because in each time you try, and in each time you make mistakes, there will always be consequences.
This is a perfect fact, an unchangeable and cruel fact.
We do not even know what lies in our futures, we only have one life and few chances with so many mistakes and consequences lying everywhere like a landmine, waiting to explode on us.
I hate this inequality.
Our time on earth is very limited too.
Adults often say that we need to treasure our lives while we are young, but that seems impossible.
There are many possibilities, endless and countless.
We do not know what awaits us the next day, whether we live to see another day or whether we would forever lay in dark silence.
Time is never by our side.
It is a fact and a total law.
If eternity ever does exist, I doubt that humans can achieve something like that; that would be too good to be true. To be truthful enough, I doubt that anything they call as ‘happiness’ can be achieved in this cruel real world we are in.
Even from the very day we open our eyes to see our own parents, I doubt that happiness would ever be born from the time we open our eyes to the time we start to walk on our own.
Those are just lies; do people really know the definition of happiness? People just grasp whatever makes them feel giddy inside, dictionaries offer meanings that turn complex and weird.
I do not understand anything.
Emotions, they are just like math, they are hard to understand.
I often want to ask why do people have to have feelings? Why do people have to love one another? And why are people tied by blood and flesh?
I do not understand it.
They are all complex. Everything in this world is anything but easy, everything is extremely hard to grasp.
I hate it.
I hate everything that makes up all these pros and cons in our lives.
I hate these inequalities.
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End of Prelude
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A/N: Who's thoughts is this? Who's thoughts is this? Well guys, this is Mayuyu's thoughts. I have to say, this will be the first time I'm gonna write a MaYuki fic, I usually pair Yuki with Rena...so I'm hoping I can do my best with MaYuki, I may not be as good as anzai-san or LeNosferatu-san when it comes to writing about MaYuki, but please be ensured, I'll do my best to make this one worthwhile reading!
Gonna post Inequality randomly. :lol: Can't say I'll update it consistently as Chinmoku though. :)
Mah, anyways, see you guys around... :cathappy:
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A/N: Posting an update for Our Past Together. Thank you for the thanks in my prelude for Inequality, seems like there are a lot of people who want MaYuki huh? Just means I have to make it good... Oh boy, peer pressure, hahaha... :sweatdrop: Not really though. :lol:
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Our Past Together
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Part I
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I wonder, when was it that I started to wish my life was different, that it would start to get better from this trash of a living I have at present. Of course I can’t ask for it, no, I can never beg for my parents for such kind of living, I know what they would say, I know what they would do to me…
I’ve already tried to beg once, for them to stop, for them to treat me kindly, but they didn’t do that, they didn’t. They only snickered and snarled at me for such requests; I was not allowed to request, a hideous vile creature like me was not worthy for chances, they say.
I could still vividly remember what I went through after that, how my parents dragged me by my hair to my prison, my so called room and punished me for my insolence, as what they call it. I could remember how I tried to curl up and defend myself from each in coming punches and kicks from my dad, while my mother only stood behind him, encouraging him more.
I couldn’t fight back, I just laid on the cold floor for what seemed to be like an eternity, my expression emotionless, but my heart breaking, crumbling little by little with each day that passed that I’ve received abuse.
Ah, I can remember them all well, those days where I suffered so much.
Every day, everything that happened the other day begins again, there was nothing different, the abuse continued on, until I’ve collected a lot of wounds and bruises on my body.
Today was no different, it’s as if this is a never-ending cycle, I somehow feel that with each day that pass, the intense feeling of fear creeps slowly into me. I can already sense that soon I might die from this. Darkness was always creeping into me, I know that it will swallow me soon, pulling me to oblivion.
It’s cold.
It feels cold.
It hurts.
My tired and battered body tries to struggle to move up a bit, yet it rejects any movements, making me slump back down on the cold hard tiled floor. I tried to move my hands and my legs, but I felt resistance, I felt something cold and tight wrapped around my wrists and ankles, and the sound of metal clanking together, I know this sound. They were chains.
I struggled under my bound, trying to pry off the things that were binding my hands and feet together, but it’s useless. It was too tight; it was too secured that the only thing that I’ve made a progress off were making wounds.
It was useless.
I let out a groan escape from my dry sore throat, giving up from this useless struggle, I resolved to slump on the floor.
It hurts.
I can’t do anything.
And it’s dark.
I can’t see anything but darkness. It scares me, I can’t see anything, and what I can’t see is something I fear. I don’t know what’s in front of me or what’s around me.
There’s nothing I could do about this, this situation of mine.
It’s pitiful, how everything’s eating away on me.
It’s pitiful; I can’t do anything about it.
I waited in this silent darkness, until I finally hear a loud slam from behind me along with the sounds of footsteps heavily stomping on the floor echoed through my ears.
My body turned stiff as each steps grew louder, meaning they were coming closer; I inhaled a deep shaky breath, feeling fear eating away on me.
What kind of abuse will I receive now?
I don’t know.
Yet instinctively, I tried to scoot away before I turn around, slowly, until I was on my side and facing the intruder. Even though I couldn’t see anything, I tried to raise my head, I know it was a futile attempt, but I still did, knowing that my lack of response would only cause another onslaught of abuse on me.
I heard the figure in front of me click their tongue and scoff before I felt the floor shift under its weight. I waited, anxious of what will happen. I was surprised when I felt something being loosened up from behind my head; I could also see that there was light starting to seep out of the darkness until slowly everything was covered by it.
I squint my eyes before blinking a couple of times, trying to adjust to the light.
Everything came out as a blob of colors at first; I could hardly make up the figure in front of me until slowly it started to take form, a form of a person I did not want to see.
It was my father.
“You finally woke up you good for nothing trash.” This man, my father, as any normal child would dub it, said with a cold harsh tone, he looked at me with disdain and pure disgust. He reached up to me and grabbed my hair, pulling me up.
I could not feel the pain, I would have screamed if I did, but all I felt was pure discomfort while my father bore his dagger like glare at me. I wordlessly shifted uneasily in discomfort, the chains on my wrists and ankles making clattering sounds on the floor.
“Look, you garbage…”
“Get up, you better fucking hurry out of this house and go to school, you hear me, I don’t want to see your face here…” He snarled at me before he forcefully threw me aside. I released a groan as I hit the floor hard with a loud thud.
“Geez, what a pain… If it were me, I’d just let this fucking trash rot, what good could this creature possibly bring to this family…”
“Tsk! Nothing but trouble, fucking damnit!”
My father angrily stomped his feet on the floor, just almost near my face even, the action made my heart stop for a bit.
I tried to struggle up and move my body away from his foot, away from him when I could notice his shadow towering over me, I knew what was coming, but even then, I was caught off guard. Out of nowhere, I felt a strong kick launched onto my head, hitting right on my right cheek. It was hard, such intense power made my body roll off a few meters away from my angry father.
“Get up you freak… I’ll see you down stairs. I want you there and impromptu!” He hissed angrily before he left, shutting the door loud and hard.
I bit my bottom lip. That kind of thing was impossible; I can’t just get there quickly, not in my situation.
There was no use complaining though.
Knowing them, they would just beat me up if I don’t do it.
I try to move my body, slowly, slowly, until I was on a sitting position. I let a small groan escape from my busted lips, the taste of copper on my mouth made me choke a bit and cough out hoarsely.
My tired body was already protesting, I can’t feel the pain, but I knew my body was tired, lying down felt heavenly all of a sudden, even on this cold hard floor. My body was too tired to even move that much, it was already protesting too much.
I wonder just when everything would end.
It seems like the days are already prolonging.
It’s almost like an eternity in hell.
I stand up, shaky, using the wall to help me up and balance my weight, I raise my head and look up at this prison, this room that was dubbed as mine, they say. It’s almost empty, save for a few closets and cabinets and a single bed, a bed that I never use.
It’s laughable, this situation I’m in.
I can’t even protest or cry, knowing that no one would be there to support me or hold onto me. I have no one beside me, and I have no allies or even friends, I have nothing at all.
It’s just me and this silent darkness looming over me, inching closer and closer, ready to take me to oblivion.
Seconds passed, something that seemed like eternity to me, I stood there, waiting for something to happen, but nothing did occur so I decide to leave, remembering that I still have school. It was going to be another long day, I know, yet I trudge off, dragging my feet towards the door.
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The skies are blue, vast and wide, the clouds are floating around, like fishes in the sea. It was a wonderful day, a beautiful day, yet to me it felt dull, I held no interest in it, nor did I felt any spark of positivity on me.
This just looked like mockery to me.
I want to laugh and blame myself, but I can’t.
I’ve finally left the apartment, my home, my so-called cage. I would have been happy to leave, but I still have to attend school. I can’t skip out, my parents would just find out through my teachers, whom are their mutual friends. If they ever find out that I don’t even attend classes, they would just lash out at me again.
I’m not afraid of their abuse, but there was nothing I can do about it either, I’m weak and helpless. This body was too fragile for its own good. I’m already running out of breath and I’m just walking to school, I know that I’m already late, which was the first time I’ve had, it was way passed the excusable time even. I did not feel the need to rush though, knowing that it was a futile attempt, knowing that my body can’t push to that certain limits either.
When I arrived at school, the teacher guarding the gate scowled at me and lectured me of my tardiness, even pointedly taking note of my haggard and battered appearance.
I merely stared at him and try to listen to him until he finally let me off to get to my class, yet everything is still worse. I got sneering comments and disgusted looks from my classmates the moment I came in, I already know the reason why, what with the wounds and bruises marred on my arms and legs and the cut on my lips.
I could care less about their perception.
I continued my way to my desk, once I made my way, I sat down immediately, not bothering to bat an eyelash at their sneering and mocking stares. I averted my eyes away from looking up in front and stared through the window, finding the sight outside much more appealing than to see the expressions of my classmates.
It’s irritating and at the same time painful, even here, outside of my prison, there are still people who would look at me with disdain in their eyes.
It makes my blood boil.
I want to wipe off those mocking expressions off their faces, one by one, but I held these desire of mine. I can’t do something like that; my mind prevents me from doing anything like that so I resolved to grit my teeth, trying to reduce the tension inside me.
They don’t know anything.
They will never know.
They won’t understand.
No one will…
I restrain myself for what seem to have been minutes until no sooner, a teacher immediately came inside, after that, I could hear the clattering of seats and footsteps and the class started again. I continue to look through the window, finding it much more interesting than the blabbering teacher in front our classroom.
There was not much any point in listening to the lectures, much less study. I can never understand our lessons, it’s hard for me to cop up, I’ve never been the smart aleck type, like some popular princess-like girl in our class, I don’t know her name, I’d rather not even want to know it.
It doesn’t concern me.
I don’t care either way, whether about academics or sports, I don’t care if I do poorly. Besides, whether I have any abilities or not, my family will just cast me aside once they’ve used me up.
I’m no one important.
I’m just a toy, a stress relief toy and that’s all I’ll ever be to them.
I’ve learned to accept that fact better than anyone…
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End of Part I
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A/N: If some of you have forgotten, then I'd remind you, this is Gekikara, or rather, Rena's thoughts before she even becomes Gekikara.
Why is her thoughts not so shambled and crazy? Well the answer is because she isn't paranoid yet, is what I'd like to reason out, besides, the burden is not that much heavy on her yet... I don't mind if you think that its not Gekikara-ish because later on, I'll let you see how I'll turn this thoughts into something Gekikara-ish, somehow, yes, somehow.... :lol:
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yep, you're the number #1 author to me. and your latest updates are proof!!!
you have the qualities of my ideal author! 1)able to write awesome angst fics. 2)able to make me feel the pain the characters are feeling. 3)able to let me imagine myself as the character. 4) able to make awesome story plots and lastly, 5)able to make me crave for more updates
see??? you have all of those qualities!
anyway, comments!!! ^^
what can I say about the two latest updates?? one word:awesome
I can't wait to read your mayuki fic, since they're one of my favorites! the prologue is already making,me nod
along with mayuyu's thoughts. it's really...what can I say? it is just awesome!
as for the other one, five words.
FANTASTIC! FABULOUS! AMAZING! WONDERFUL! and MAGNIFICENT!!!
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Reading chimonku part V made me depressed..I mean, seriously..When I read it I could feel Black’s heartache..Even my heart also felt hurt..Arrgghhhhhh :cry:
you are one of my fav writer :bow:
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Geki's past is so sad~ (http://forum.jphip.com/Smileys/default/mon_cry.gif)
I'm curious about that princess-like-girl (http://forum.jphip.com/Smileys/default/mon_suspect.gif) I bet it's Yuki~ (http://forum.jphip.com/Smileys/default/mon_misch.gif)
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Time for Kiriban!
No special shot this time around because I'm still writing one......lolol, gonna post a drawing instead. :lol:
Kiriban at 2000+ achieved! Thanks for 2000+ page views
Link to drawing: BlackGeki (http://i.imgur.com/hKIgb.jpg)
I drew this little quickie, to be honest, its been a long long time since I have touched my Wacom and drew something.
Why am I linking it this time around though? Because I don't want to post the pic here because I don't want it to pop out...lol, just check it for yourselves, you'll see why. Drew it out of a scene in Chinmoku - Part IV. :lol:
Specially dedicated to those two teasers who have been so cruel. :lol: LeNosferatu-san and anzai-san, I'll get back at you guys, wait and see what I can do! :lol:
Anyways, before I end here, gonna reply to some post.
Replies:
@anzai48 - I envy you for being able to write emotional scenes using a short writing method though...
I have no specialties to be honest, I don't think BlackGeki is even my specialty. I just write anything that comes into mind in any kind of genre I feel like writing. :lol: Peer pressure, peer pressure, anzai-san's MaYuki is so good, I hope I can make mine great for you. :)
Well, if Chinmoku is angst, Our Past Together just has to be as angst as Chinmoku, I want it to be darker even than Chinmoku to be honest. :lol:
@karomuwi - Uuu....thanks...I guess... *blush*
Ahahaha...again, peer pressure, looks like I really have to do good with MaYuki if its your favorite...gotta keep it in mind that everyone likes MaYuki now. :lol:
@yukofan - Really? I'm glad it had that kind of effect on you, it wouldn't be angst if it doesn't work at all... :sweatdrop:
Okay, um, thank you...I'm rather honored to be one of your favorite authors, ahh, this is making me embarrassed... >////<
@RenaChii - Let's see whether that princess-like girl really is Yuki the next time I update. :lol:
Thanks for the comments everyone, as well as the thanks. :)
About Chinmoku though, again, I'm still writing Part VI, to be honest, I feel like I can stop with Part V because it feels like an end already to me when I reread it. But yeah, I am writing Part VI and I won't end Chinmoku just there yet, that would be too soon...and yes, I haven't fulfilled a part of the request that sakura-san told me...... :lol:
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A/N: Finally! Dayum, took me quite a long time to write an update for Chinmoku. Sorry, the heat is really getting into my head, I can't seem to concentrate... :sweatdrop:
I don't think I did this part greatly, I can't really concentrate well while writing, I wish the weather here in the Philippines would cool up a little bit...I feel like staying in an cold room or even a freezer, I can't stand it, this heat is making me lazy, I'm sorry. :(
I'm also easily distracted, been fangirling over the picture in my sig...hahaha, I've been staring at it with a grin on my face because Rena and Yuki sure looks cute there, they sure look alike though. :lol:
Anyways, before the update, gonna reply to anzai-san's comment! :)
Reply:
@anzai-san - Thanks. Haha, its dedicated to you two, that's why I wrote your names there. Oh great teasers, I'll really get back at you once I get the right time to write it. :lol:
Ehh...hahahaha, Kiriban at every 100+? I probably can't draw that much because its hard to think of a good pose for BlackGeki. :lol: I'll try making another drawing though for 3000+... O-ohh...You're complementing me too much, I don't really think greatly of it.
Of course it is darker. I did give out a few hints that Black and Geki's pasts are pretty...sad and painful, so you can say that I have no choice but to make it darker. My ideas for that one isn't that all too dangerous, anzai-san. :roll:
Oh right, thanks to those who have given me their thank yous in my Kiriban post, and also to anzai-san for commenting. :lol: Anyways, here it is! An update, hope you guys at least enjoy this? I tried my best even under this horrid heat...I at least hope that it would be a good read. :sweatdrop:
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Chinmoku
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Part VI
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She looked like a total idiot, Black thought to herself while she maintained her position. Only small sniffles and muffled sobs escaped from her after having calmed down from crying hard since long ago. The older girl no longer even had the strength to move too much considering how much taxing her crying was to her stamina.
Black embraced her body tightly, feeling cold from staying out for quite a long time. She could not remember what time it was already, nor could she remember how long she has been sitting on the pavement for what seemed to be eternity just from crying out her tears that never seemed to fall into an ending.
What she did remember well however was that she was all alone, that Gekikara left her and that she did not do anything to stop the younger queen.
‘…It’s my fault…’ Black bitterly thought, grasping her rosary tightly, the feeling of sharp metal digging into her palm, breaking the skin and flesh of her palm. Small drops of blood oozed from the wound, it felt painful and it stung but she did not let go of the metal cross.
She could never let it go.
Not when she had let go something important and precious to her.
It sent a bitter tinge in her mouth, the thought of not doing anything at all.
It was embarrassing, her own stupidity, and to think that she had been dubbed as the smartest in their class before in the past. It seemed like a mockery now to her just by remembering it and comparing her state and her actions.
What was becoming of her?
What exactly?
It feels like she had lost her posture all too quickly.
Just about everything in Black felt jumbled and mixed, it felt disturbing how she was acting up. She never mostly losses her posture and her aim, yet now, it seemed like almost everything was erased from her mind, except of the scene that occurred moments ago.
Black clenched her jaws, tightening her grip on the cross, steeling herself from crying again yet failing when tears formed at the corner of her eyes.
Separations hurt.
It hurts quite a lot, especially when the bond is already and when you’ve been together for quite a long time.
For so long and for many experiences and trials, she always had the younger queen beside her, through thick and thin and through all the pain and sadness, yet not having her right now was like an equivalent, or maybe something much more painful than the past that Black did not want to remember.
Adults say that experience is the best teacher, that line has been true to its words, but painful it is to go through and remembering just hurts just as much as reliving the experiences. It felt like she had almost torn the invisible wounds and scars open inside her heart.
It hurts yet she knew isn’t the only one hurting.
She knew that, she wasn’t that much of an idiot not to know.
If Black herself was hurting just this much, then so would it be for the younger girl. Separations never end well when both party have to part, it always hurts, no matter how little or big the bond is. It will always hurt.
It was selfish of her to do nothing but watch and leave things to be as it is. It was selfish for her just to let Gekikara try to even maintain their bond together. It was as if she was making the other girl carry everything for her.
It wasn’t fair of her.
A bond, a relationship only works when two people try to maintain it, if it’s only one person holding onto the other end, everything would just fall apart and break, and if both party don’t perspire to keep the bond, it would really just break when both of them gives up.
That was how fragile and precious bonds are.
That was how important it is.
Thinking of that, Black realized something that she was suppose to see long ago and coming to that point of finally thinking of it, it made Black pound her fist on the pavement in her own anger.
‘Why…didn’t I realize it sooner?’
‘…All those times I’ve been so self-centered…and so selfish…I never noticed it at all.’ Black gritted her teeth and scoffed, tears slowly dropping down from her cheeks to her chin.
She had been too selfish to the point that she had taken Gekikara’s dependence on her for granted, yet she did not bother to even remember what exactly her purpose was for being friends with the younger girl or why she held out her hand to Gekikara in the past until just now.
It struck her hard, remembering exactly what her purpose was for being friends with Gekikara and it sent more tears flowing down her cheeks.
Her whole purpose was that she wanted to reach out for Gekikara and pull her out of her miserable self and because she wanted to see the younger girl smiling.
It was ironic.
The reason why they became friends started out with her selfless wish that also ended with her own selfishness.
Why exactly was she so hung up with her past in the first place? Why was she so blinded that she did not even see it? Was it because she had been disappointed and hurt terribly? Because she felt guilty of everything that happened? Or because she had been keeping a grudge on that memory?
It was hard to come up with an answer to all the piling questions, not when she herself is blaming her own stupidity. However, she would never get anywhere; neither would she even recover if she continued to think of this.
True, it was her fault, not just partly, but wholly. Still, to sulk around just doing nothing and increase this pain and torment? Was she going to be selfish again and just let their relationship end here? Was she just going to let Gekikara’s efforts go to waste after going through all those times just to try to get through her?
The raven took a deep breath, closing both of her eyes while she kept her mind calm.
‘What are you going to do Yuki?’ Black thought, asking herself the questions that she was now facing, these questions were different from the others that she had thought, these wasn’t just about her, these was about both her and the younger girl.
‘Are you just going to let this happen?’
‘Are you just going to leave this as it is without confronting it?’
‘Are you…?’
Unconsciously, Black loosened her grip on the cross while she continued to calm her beating heart.
‘Get a grip…’
She isn’t going to waver now. The answer to all those questions was already obvious.
‘This isn’t the past anymore…Yuki…’
This isn’t going to let anything make her falter anymore.
‘She isn’t like my parents. I know she needs me…’ Black thought while she bit her bottom lip and raised her head, opening her eyes with a new reborn determination glazing her eyes.
“Just as much as I need her.” Black said, the words ringing inside her head. Those words fueled Black’s determination; slowly, the raven let go of the cross, ignoring the pain and sting she received from her wounds as she quickly stood up and wiped off the remaining tears from her face and eyes.
Black looked down at her rosary, it was nostalgic, seeing it hang around her neck. Just as nostalgic this night was, full of sadness with memories and past remembered.
She looked up to the sky, this starry night sky that has been there along with the moon, sparkling ever so beautifully and ethereally, it reminded her of a paragraph she had once said to Maeda.
“The path to the moon appears anew.” Black mumbled coolly before a small smile formed on her lips, never did she neither knew nor expect that she would find herself saying those words to herself, but it fitted perfectly.
“That’s why I’ll move forward.”
“To reach up the insignia of a new beginning.” Black smiled, taking a step shaky step forward, stumbling a bit at the feeling of numbness on her legs, yet she pushed it off, Black ignored it and continued to take another step until she was able to walk completely after regaining the composure of her legs.
She wouldn’t falter anymore, even if Black and her past and impurities be damned, she doesn’t care anymore.
What matters more were just one person and just this moment alone.
The past doesn’t matter anymore.
“Wait for me, Rena…”
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Dark as the most impure color, silent and unmoving as stagnant water and cold as winter, that was how it could be described on that night. Everything around was dyed in dark shady colors, there was not even a single human being nor any animals present around the streets and it was awfully cold due to the left over puddle caused by the rain that evening.
It is convenient, or so, someone might say in a case like this, but everything around the young queen held a gloomy atmosphere, it’s too quiet; too lonely even with no other human movements apart from Gekikara’s.
It is convenient with no one around, yet its inconvenient having to carry around a heavy heart, a broken vow in thought and an empty broken soul.
If it were in the past, Gekikara, or rather as Matsui Rena, the young queen would have not cared of having to part with someone; she would rather have it happen as soon as the relationship were formed. Yet, as someone of the present, Gekikara could not even dare want to part with someone just by a sudden decision, even if it were just a playful joke or prank.
There is a contradiction however in this case.
She already had done it, just a few minutes ago even. She did not plan something like that, nor did she intend to make that happen between them, but it was better than later, it may seem bitter and painful, but its better this way.
Gekikara knew she had to do it sooner anyways.
Truthfully enough, Gekikara did not do it out of just wanting to escape from what vile thing she had done and forced onto Black; she did not do it because she felt like doing it either. She did it because she knew she had to leave before everything goes even more uncontrollable.
Her love for Black continued to intensify even more after she saw the other girl again when Black visited her after a few days of almost dying from a fatal stab wound caused by a Yabakune student.
How badly she missed the other girl ever since they graduated and she was held up in Majisuka Gakuen, she never fully had that much time to visit the older girl, knowing that the raven was busy working. Although Black visited her only for a few minutes, Gekikara could not deny that she truly felt happy and blessed to see the older former queen again. It made the young queen’s heart soar up when Black bought her flowers, even going as far as to visit her alone even though she had a child to take care of.
Black is very much important to her. She upholds and cherishes the raven all too dearly just by considering the fact that Black is the first person whom showed her human warmth and became her first real friend.
Gekikara really appreciated Black’s visit, if ever the shorter girl was able to move her legs before, she would have stood up from her bed and hugged Black tightly, but she never did had the chance to do that in the past. If she did, Gekikara may have not let go of Black, nor stop herself from showering affectionate gestures with the former queen.
Gekikara already knew that she was drawing to the point where she would crave more for the other girl’s attention and love. She already knew it for quite a long time ago, but she held it in, in hopes that that craving, that desires of hers would disappear over in time and would stay into just a mere wish to be just close friends.
It never did happen however.
It never did.
She could not even remember when it started, her blossoming feelings that is. Gekikara just started to show a certain degree of fondness for the older girl ever since they became friends. She never knew it was actually love blossoming inside her heart.
An error…
It was a fatal error to fall in love.
She wasn’t worthy of something like love nor even Black, yet what was she to do now when these feelings are already here, they seem that they won’t fade at all, the feeling only seems to increase even with this distance between them.
It hurts, her heart hurts because of this distance.
The pain proves to make her body unstable, it made moving hard to do when every step she took she would stagger or stumble over nothing.
It is foolish, how she is hurting just by mere emotional pain yet in the face of true physical pain, she could bare them all.
It is foolish how she is becoming weak.
It is uncharacteristic of her to be like this, but it was hard and unexplainable, how she suddenly changes into a different kind of person whenever it concerned the older girl yet under the presence of others, she can maintain herself.
What had been of the cruel monstrous heavenly queen? What had happened to the queen that all the other students feared most? What happened to the girl who only held pain and brutality in her hands? Was it just a disguise, her being a cruel insane queen? Was it just a double personality she created in order to escape her past?
Just what are the reasons behind this?
Just what exactly is she?
Who exactly is she?
Those thoughts started to rush into Gekikara’s brain, making her halt her movements. She never really considered asking herself that again ever since she had come to feel Black’s presence and ever since the older girl made her felt special and cherished.
The thoughts that always haunted Gekikara however were questions about her existence, the very reason why she came to be, of whom would need someone like her around and who would love her.
Searching for answers to those questions all seem to be nearly impossible to do because basically, Gekikara was never a somebody; she has always and will always be a no one.
There were no difference to the questions that kept running through her head; they were all negative. In fact, was there ever a chance when she had gotten to question herself of something related to anything happy?
Of course, there was none.
Happiness can never even ring nor sound well next to Gekikara’s name. Everything connected to her is about chaos, violence, cruelty, blood and impurities.
Happiness however did not sound right for someone like her; even at least getting a taste of a bit of happiness is already a blessing because laughter and joy does not often stay for too long for the younger queen.
To be exact, nothing stays the same for too long in this reality.
Nothing…
Everything comes to this certain point when they all have to disappear or meet death.
Death, that one word composed of five letters held a loud ring inside Gekikara’s mind. She had almost met that fate, dying, just like their deceased president, Oshima Yuko. Yet it was a miracle how she survived, how her spirit and body clung to that little miracle that was not supposed to be there.
‘Miracles…they’re too good for a sinner like me…’
‘…Someone like me…should never get a second chance…’ Gekikara thought; the young queen looked down at her hands, her lips quirked up a bit to form a bitter smile at the sight of blood smeared and oozing from the wounds on her fingers and palms.
Just how many people did she hurt using them? Just how many people did she almost kill? Just how many did she sully using them?
Countless.
Gekikara’s victims were countless, she could hardly even remember how many she had fought and how many had she almost killed; all the younger queen knew was that something inside her craved for violence, of blood and broken flesh and screams of agony and despair.
Apart from the constant voices that belittled her in silence, there was also one voice that stood out, it called her, urging her strongly that even at times all that she could hear is that voice telling her to fight.
She knew that voice, she knew it all too well.
It was her own voice calling her out.
Looking at this pair of hand of hers, Gekikara could almost see something else apart from her two own blood drenched hands. Blinking for a couple of times, Gekikara tried to focus onto what she was seeing, hoping that her eyesight were just blurry, yet to her own horror and dismay, she saw them right.
It was a hallucination, but the younger queen could not process that thought. It felt too real, as if she had actually held those contents. She could not deny what she saw either.
She saw dried up blood that coated her hand wholly with small bits and pieces of torn flesh and bones in her palms. What was the most distinct of the contents in her hands was that it was rotting and worms started to wriggle out. It was disgusting, but Gekikara was used to it, this sight. If she were a normal person she would have thrown all the contents in her stomach over the pavements, but she was not a normal person, she could not even classify herself as a person.
Gekikara was too hideous to be one.
She could never fear something like this, the sight of rotting flesh and cracked broken piece of bones and blood. She had already fought countless people without even batting an eyelash over what karma might come after her.
Gekikara never considered them; her conscience never bothered her about it. However, there were limits to what she could not consider.
She has her own fears.
Many of them to exact.
Gekikara noticed something suddenly from out of the corner of her eyes; Gekikara saw something shining from under the contents in her hands.
Of course, curiosity got the best of the young queen and so she decided to look closer, and much to her own horror, she saw a familiar metal covered in blood. That shining object was something that she given to Black long ago on that very same day when the older teen got violated, on the same day she had vowed to stay beside her.
That particular item was something she used to pledge her vow and seeing it in her hands, amongst all this trash in her hands made Gekikara shiver in fear and realization.
The raven’s cross, covered in blood and flesh.
She knew exactly what this meant and she feared it, this item on her hand.
‘…B-Black’s…rosary…’
The young queen’s eyes stared at her trembling hands in fear; she could not avert them from staring at the pile of mixed rotting flesh, pieces of broken bones and blood on her hands.
“A…A-Ah…”
Gekikara’s body stiffened, her eyes widened in horror at the sight of the shining item that was mixed into the rotting contents in her hands. Quickly, the horrified queen shoved off the contents of what she thought was in her hands and staggered back, her back pressed onto wall for support.
“T-That rosary…” The young queen mumbled in between panting, sweat dripping down her chin, her eyes looking uneasily around her dark surroundings. Her heart beat madly inside her chest that it started hurting, Gekikara tried to compose herself, clutching her chest tightly as she tried to calm her heart.
Gekikara slowly took in a deep breath and steeled resolves, before raising her hands up and to her own small relief and confusion, there were no more traces of the horrible substances in her hands, neither was Black’s rosary there anymore. What was left however were the traces of her own blood and the cuts on her fingers.
It still left Gekikara feeling scared however, the sight of Black’s rosary stained with blood and rotting flesh.
It was a sight of pure malice and taint.
The state of the rosary looked worn out and damaged, yet it still shined brightly even with the blood covering it and it being under a pile of reeking rotting flesh and bones.
She was never the superstitious type, but she knew what it meant just by telling. Something as divine and pure as a rosary was supposed to be kept pristine, but seeing it in that state, it made Gekikara fear for the worst.
It was almost like a foreshadowing, a warning of something to happen. Yet, she could not help but question why it had appeared, even though she already knew why.
She just couldn’t believe and she wanted to deny it.
“…Why?”
“Why was it…there?” Gekikara gritted her teeth and swallowing the big lump forming in her throat, she clenched her hands into fists and looked away, staring down at her feet, not wanting to say the next words, but finding her own mouth and voice betraying her.
“…Black’s rosary.”
“Why…?”
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End of Part VI
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A/N: That ends Chinmoku Part VI! I wonder if some questions are circling around your heads...well, if there is, feel free to ask me about them, I'll try to answer them.
I want to say this though, its creepy you know, I mean I was writing yesterday evening Gekikara's part, alone at home, and I was already writing about the rosary part when suddenly I heard the church bell's chime, yes my house is near a church. It freaked me out like seriously that I had to leave the computer and eat some melon to calm myself... :panic: I mean, out of all the times that the bell had to chime, it was on the exact time that I was writing about the rosary? Seriously... :sweatdrop:
Also, if anyone noticed it or has a good memory, I used a line that Black said in MG I Ep. 7, it just somehow fits you know? The line -"The path to the moon appears anew."- I didn't really expect that it would fit in well because I just added it after finishing writing everything. :lol:
Anyways, see you guys next update? :cathappy: Gonna go and rewatch MG I and MG II. XD
I hope I still have some readers left though... :sweatdrop:
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Sieka-sama...are you going to kill Yukirin? :cry: Is this fic going to end soon? :cry: Is Rena-chan going to feel guilty, thinking that it's her fault that something bad is going to happen to her Black? :cry:
Why???? Why must the rosary be there?! (and nice timing of the church bell. Haha :lol:)
Thank you for this update! And DO NOT worry! I am not pressuring you to do a good job! Please write as you please. And please don't feel any pressure from me. I shall accept anything you shall write, and have written. :kneelbow:
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Black! I pray for! Find Gekikara and fix the thing between you!
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Oh no O_O Yabaiii~ I dearly hope the only reason for Geki's hallucination in this chap is because her mental problem act up on her T_T and not because fate is scheduling something terrible for Black. Or, or what would be better is fate IS really scheduling something horrible for Black and Geki can come and save the day so we can be all happy again :D Am I hoping for too much T__T Keep up the great work.
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A/N: Its time for me to post another new fic! Again? I know...I know, I'm posting quite a lot...
Annoying author is annoying, I know, I have a lot of fic that I need to update like Chinmoku, Our Past Together, Inequalities, Divine Intervention and The Beauty of Love, but...I write what I want to write for most of the time, sorry. :sweatdrop: I still have to do caghaunt's prize next too, hahaha...but yeah, right now I have five more fics in mind, the stated titles above are not included in that count though but some are just shots and some are longer ones. :sweatdrop:
Gotta tell myself to prioritize, but since I'm on a vacation with nothing much to do but read mangas and watch animes, I'll just write new fics. :lol:
Replies:
@karomuwi - Do I have to kill Yuki? I wonder... 8) Can't answer that. Hmm, I am planning to end Chinmoku soon, I mean, I can't just continue on dragging it for too long...but which part it'll end, I don't know. :lol: Third question, can't answer that as the first question. I'd be spoiling the story if I did. :lol:
Eh...hahaha, it was creepy you know. I'm still scared, whenever I think of it. XD
Thank you. That lessen the pressure at least...hahaha, but having a good writer as karomuwi-san reading here, tsk, I just have to do my best. :cathappy:
@kahem - Keep praying? Hahaha, they needs it. :cathappy:
@dukkong - Lol, fate schedules death plans? That's interesting, you certainly gave me a reason to do something about that....... 8) Hoping and dreaming is free as hallucinating and imagining, hahaha, keep your hopes up, it might save them. :P
@anzai-san - I know your joking, hehehe... I just like going along it. :lol: I do mind about the bad poses though...I still have a little my childish perfectionist side on me, I'm too conscious, especially with my drawings. :sweatdrop:
I'm a sadist to be honest, so I like seeing them in pain...although that sounds really horrible, but yeah, I'm not going to make it dangerous. Eh? Its unpredictable? I thought it was...I mean...huh...maybe its just me. :huhuh I actually like it when my readers feel the pain, but somehow, I kind of wish to make you guys cry instead, should I do something about that, I wonder...
Hahaha, well... I think that's the best decision, do prepare your hearts for whatever is to come. :cathappy:
Nah, you show any signs of pressuring me, I'm just self-conscious about the quality of my writings since I have good writers reading here... :sweatdrop:
That ends my replies. Thank you for the comments and the thank yous. :cathappy: I still hope I have some readers left for Part VII, but oh well, I'll just write until I complete it. Completion is much more important than worrying about who's still reading... :sweatdrop:
Gonna post this off. Dunno if this is any good at all, but I tried to make this interesting. Its a new story, a TomoTomo one with a few more pairs coming in, I'm planning making it as long as Chinmoku. I just wrote this yesterday to be honest while I was fangirling on TomoTomo, their such a cute pair... I like them...so I want to make a fic about them since I don't see that much fics about them here... ALSO, I was inspired by anzai-san's fic so I wrote this though I'm not really gonna try to follow it, I just took a small concept out of it, hope you aren't mad at me for that anzai-san. :sweatdrop:
Anyways, here it is~
Title is from Itano Tomomi's song, Stay By My Side, was listening to it rather intently while writing. :lol: Does anyone have an English translation of its lyrics?
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Stay By My Side
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Part I
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The present and the past looked utterly different, she thought gloomily.
Everything that composed of the whole surrounding now were all the tall sturdy metal concrete buildings standing around and making up the city, it would totally make sense how this present was different from the past. Nothing like these tall towers and buildings ever stood before in the past, only just mere small concrete or bricked castles and shelters that were made from clay, mud or egg whites.
It felt odd. Gazing at this scenery before her made Tomomi’s stomach churn a bit, she frowned and looked down at her stomach before she placed her hand and gently rubbed it, trying to calm the agitation she felt.
She did not like it, how much everything had changed. Never did she expect everything to change all too much while she was taking a deep long slumber.
Just how many years did she sleep through?
Ten years? Fifty years? Or hundreds of years?
She was not that too sure, her head still felt fuzzy and heavy. It was hard to think clearly due to having woken up just a few moments ago from her slumber, or rather, having been woken up by someone. Preferably, it was a certain tall raven looming in the darkness just behind her that woke her up.
If Tomomi had known better that someone would wake her up again from her sleep, she would have buried her coffin far more deeper than just placing it in a secret temple that anyone would stumble upon accidentally. Not like it would stop the taller girl from finding her anyways, yet she still could not help but feel upset.
“Why…did you wake me up?” Tomomi sighed grumpily, running a hand down her soft curly brown tresses, wearing a frown on her face.
“It was needed.” Only came a short reply from the older girl hiding within darkness’ cradle. Her voice came out cold and harsh like a well-sharpened knife, that did not faze Tomomi however, instead, she scoffed and crossed her arms before looking around.
“For what reason?”
“For what…?” The raven repeated the questions but cut off the last part, shocked at the younger girl’s question while looking at Tomomi as if she had grown another head.
“Don’t tell me…you forgot?” The figure asked in an incredulous voice, frowning at the short brunette in front of her while she had her arms crossed in front of her chest.
Tomomi looked at the shady figure in confusion, dropping the grumpy look on her face as she blinked a couple of times before looking away from her to look around her surroundings.
“Did I forget something?” She asked herself aloud, tilting her head cutely while placing a thoughtful finger on her chin, trying to think or even remember anything that she might have forgotten, but nothing seemed to come into her mind.
Tomomi turned her attention back at Yuki and watched as the figure raise an eyebrow up, looking a bit puzzled for a short time before her expression turned back into one of emotionless after realizing something.
“I can’t believe you…” A sigh escaped from the raven while she slump her shoulders, placing a hand on her face, contemplating herself whether she had woken up the right person.
“…Well, it doesn’t matter anyway it seems…whether I tell you or not.” The older girl reasoned, looking a tad bored and lazy while waving a hand nonchalantly to emphasize her point.
Tomomi stumbled forward at the other girl’s reason, making a loud crashing noise before standing back up and recomposing herself, looking a bit agitated by the older girl’s statement.
“What kind of reason is was that supposed to be Yuki?!” Tomomi shouted, pointing an accusing finger at the raven. Tomomi pouted cutely in frustration while the shadowy figure merely shrugged before taking a few steps, her heels clicking into the brick floor.
“I’m not trying to make reasons, it’s better if I don’t tell you anyways, knowing you, you might remember it shortly.” The raven said coolly as she stepped out of the darkness, basking her whole form in light, making Tomomi arch a brow up at the blandness of the older girl’s wardrobe that only composed of a single accessory, a metal rosary hanging from her neck. Her clothes were merely denim shorts, a white blouse and leather high knee boots with a long black cloak with a hood attached to it.
It looked completely dull and monotonous.
What caught Tomomi’s attention however was that Yuki was wearing black.
Tomomi hated it, the color itself.
Tomomi gritted her teeth and lowered her gaze, looking at the color of Yuki’s clothes increased the uneasiness she felt in her stomach.
Yuki knitted her brow together in confusion, watching as how Tomomi looked away and fidgeted, as if she had seen something dreadful.
“Hey…”
“Tomomi…” Yuki called out, trying to catch Tomomi’s attention, but to no avail, not a single word or noise came out of the brunette and it looked as if the other girl had suddenly dazed out.
“Kasai Tomomi, are you here with me or not?” Yuki said with a frown on her face, reverting to calling the other girl in her full name, yet she did not receive any response while she watched the younger girl’s expression change all of a sudden into one of melancholy, she had seen this before and Tomomi’s dark expression, it made Yuki worried.
“Hey! Are you alright?” Yuki asked, shaking the younger girl from her dazed stupor, effectively snapping Tomomi from her thoughts. The brunette quickly recovered from her stupor; not wanting to worry the raven, she looked up and let a small giggle escape from her eyes before averting her eyes away from the older girl’s worried gaze.
“I’m fine. Was just thinking of how weird and dull your clothes are, that’s all.” Tomomi said playfully with a smirk dancing on her lips, making Yuki’s worry crumble off into annoyance.
“Tsk…”
“I shouldn’t be wasting my time here.” Yuki voiced out her annoyance and displeasure, much to the young brunette’s satisfaction. At least she got back with the raven for waking her up.
“Still as shady as before, aren’t we?” Tomomi giggled all the while maintaining the smirk on her face. The older raven merely sighed, not coming up with a comeback, as she was too tired to even make one.
Yuki placed a hand on her waist before looking at Tomomi with a bored expression before she took the younger girls hands and shoved a paper bag into the other girl’s arms, much to the brunette’s surprise.
Tomomi looked at the bag and then at Yuki, then back at the bag, not knowing why she had received something from the other girl all of a sudden. She contemplated whether to ask what it was for or not, but decided on the former and asked:
“What’s this for?”
“That’s your new clothes. Unless you want to walk around with that worn out kimono.” Yuki gestured at Tomomi’s clothes, making the brunette look at her clothes before she looked back up and nodding slowly, she could never agree more to the older girl’s statement. She does need to dress up, her clothes were too worn out after all.
“There’s a phone there as well, my number is already placed in it. Call me if something happens.”
“Phone…? What’s that?” Tomomi asked cutely, blinking her eyes in confusion.
“It’s something you use to communicate with people, even in another country. And by phone, I meant this.” The older girl took out a small thin metallic square and showed it to Tomomi, pointing at it as she presented her smartphone to the confused young girl.
Tomomi merely let out a small noise of awe, clapping and nodding like a child; her eyes sparkled while she stared at the foreign object. There was never something like that before because the only way to communicate to people was by mailing letters or going in person.
“To think that a small box thing can do something like that … That sure is convenient.”
“It is, but sometimes I hate it.” Yuki grumbled while placing her phone back to her pocket.
“Anyways, you don’t need to worry about money; I already placed some.”
“Hmm~ For a Grim Reaper, you sure are quite prepared, I’m surprised.” Tomomi teased the raven, poking the angel of death’s forearm, giggling a bit when she saw Yuki roll her eyes.
“Whatever, just don’t screw up with the contents in that bag Kasai. Those aren’t cheap you know.”
“Sure sure~” Tomomi nodded, a smile forming on her lips. Yuki merely sighed, mumbling a couple of inaudible words under her breath with her, not sure whether Tomomi was fooling around with her or not. Yuki looked away, eyes staring around the place with arms crossed while her eyes finally stayed in one place and stared at the darkness that consumed half of the room.
“If you’re going to get dressed, I’ll take my leave now.”
“So soon? That’s okay though…but aren’t you going to show me around this town?” Tomomi tilted her head, looking at Yuki in confusion.
“Can’t, I’m too busy.”
“I need to do something after this…” Yuki muttered, her expression darkening. It intrigued Tomomi what exactly did the older girl had to do, but decided not to ask anyways when she noticed that the angel of death was wearing a helpless look on her face and felt a bit of pity for her, she did looked a bit tired, for some reason that Tomomi did not know. It was not often nor normal for her to see the older girl like that, not when she normally held an indifferent look on her face.
Something must have happened to her while Tomomi had been sleeping soundly. Although she really wanted to know why, Tomomi held the urge to ask, knowing that Yuki would not answer her right now.
Not wanting to make the situation awkward between then, Tomomi faked a frown and playfully stuck her tongue out, shouting angrily at the older girl:
“Your just lazy, Yuki!”
Tomomi puffed her cheeks and pouted afterwards, crossing her arms while she faked her expressions. It made Yuki smiled a bit because she did not really detect that the brunette was just acting with how well Tomomi held her expression.
“Maybe I am…” Yuki pursed her lips into a tight line as she took small steps forward to Tomomi before smirking. Slowly the raven turned around and walked back towards the darkness, her heels making loud clicking sounds that echoed around in the room, breaking the dreadful silence that was about to fall soon.
“Oh right, you better head to Atsuko’s place, she’s been waiting for you.” Yuki smiled mysteriously, catching Tomomi’s attention.
The younger girl swallowed audibly, somehow fearing how she could not perceive what was behind the angel of death’s smile. It made Tomomi fidget anxiously, Yuki let out a soft chuckle before looking tauntingly at the brunette with a smug look on her face.
“Prepare yourself when you get there. I’ll see you later, Tomomi.”
“Eh? Yuki wait!” Tomomi shouted, reaching a hand towards the angel of death, but to her own disappointment and fear, Yuki had already melted together with the darkness and disappeared from her sight.
“Yuki, you’re really cold you know…leaving me behind without telling me anything…”
“Mou…”
“I have to meet her huh…? Why would that immortal priestess want to see me…? This doesn’t make any sense, you mean Grim Reaper…” Tomomi groaned and slumped down the floor, embracing the paper bag close to her chest, wearing a big frown and a pout on her face while she glared at the place where she had last seen Yuki’s figure.
“Stupid Yuki…why did she have to wake me up…” Tomomi huffed, looking sourly at the wall with a large frown on her face.
Tomomi could tell that Yuki was still close.
She could feel the taller teen’s dark aura even from fifteen meters apart or more; the older girl after all was strong, truly strong and fast no less. That however does not mean that she had the right to wake her up. Tomomi would have preferred it if she had just slept through another year or so, there were no difference anyways, whether she was awake or not.
Nothing was bound to happen good if she stayed awake, whether she socializes with people or go around from one place to another, nothing ever happened good because nothing ever seemed to last anyways.
Time over time, Tomomi would just loss everything she gained because of her being an oddity.
All that were left behind for her were memories, bitter memories that piled up with the rest of what had gathered and accumulated over time.
It was tiring, having to live for too long, yet what was she to do with her life?
Dying was never an option to her, not when it would meant that her body would crumble into dust and her soul would burn down, never reaching the conclusion of finding peace, but rather, to be lost forever along with the ashes of her own body.
The result of dying was expected to be like that, she IS an oddity, one of the famous kinds no less.
Clearly, Tomomi was not pleased with everything that was happening. She could not understand the purpose behind her awakening, nor did she have a clue what Atsuko wanted from her.
Tomomi did not try to hide her own distaste and scrunched her face into sour expression.
Maeda Atsuko, or more well know as the clairvoyant priestess, was her enemy from a long time ago.
Thinking back of the past, she had always fought Atsuko whenever they ended meeting up in one way or another, she knew that they would often ended up fighting over a single issue, it was about her being an oddity, as what Atsuko always called her and also because Atsuko is a priestess. It was clearly her job to banish evil spirits and monsters, and Tomomi hated that part of the priestess; she was too focused on her job.
It was annoying and infuriating.
Tomomi was scared and at the same time angry with the priestess, she held no desire to hurt anyone and cause any trouble because she never held any malice to even dare hurt a human.
Tomomi already made a truce with Atsuko and took a big distance away from the priestess, hoping to never clash with her ever again. However, if the clairvoyant priestess wants to fight her, then she had no choice but to retaliate and Tomomi was sure that she won’t hold back against the priestess.
It would not hurt anyways to have a little exercise after waking up from a long deep slumber.
She did not have any options anyways.
“I guess I have no choice but to meet her.” Tomomi pursed her lips into a tight line before she smiled uneasily before taking a deep breath she shook her head. Tomomi stared at the paper bag that Yuki had given her before opening them, expecting some kind disastrous looking clothes inside but to her own surprise, it wasn’t.
The brunette’s eyes sparkled in wide amazement when she saw the items inside, she couldn’t say anything bad about them; they were all too wonderful.
Tomomi stood up and dusted off any present dirt on her kimono, a small smile gracing on her lips, she hugged the paper bag tightly.
The cold Grim Reaper was not exactly as mean as what Tomomi had thought of her, and she did had a great sense of style. Smiling to herself, Tomomi thanked the other girl in her thoughts, she had to apologize and thank the older girl somehow later.
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End of Part I
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<<------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->>
A/N: That ends Part I, do keep in mind what the girls roles are so that you won't be confused. I still haven't said what exactly is Kasai Tomomi, but I think...you guys will guess it, I did give out some hints.
Anyways...I'll see you guys around, I still have to write some fics, like updates here and there... :sweatdrop:
(EDIT: Corrected some grammar errors, added some missing words and such... I fail... "orz)
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*gasp* ive finally had the time to actually read all of this! :D
this is such a good fic! depressingly good LOL :thumbup im not good with writing long comments but.....
GO YUKI! CHASE AFTER RENA! shes having hallucinations and shes very emotionally unstable D: might end up doing something stupid in that state of hers...yuki needs to go save rena from her own poisonous thoughts that are consuming her mentality! :panic:
but omg D: whats going to happen to yuki? is that a premonition of something bad happening? omg omg omg .... :O
thanks for updating :thumbup
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Ooh~! A supernatural fic! Great idea, Sieka-san! :thumbsup
And at first when I read Tomomi, I thought that it was Tomochin! :lol: But after you wrote down her full name, I got it! :sweatdrop:
hmm~ The prologue is really interesting! I'm wondering whether she's a Vampire, since you said COFFIN. :D So that's my guess.
As for Chinmoku...* sigh* I guess the phrase 'Good things must come to an end" really IS TRUE.
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YAY TOMOTOMO!!!!!
Hum, maybe Chiyuu is a fox demon. I think of this because of the kimono and because in lol there is a champ who is a fox demon with a kimono xD
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A/N: Update for Inequality. Not that long though, cause I find it fitting to end it short. :lol:
For anyone who has not seen Chinmoku's update, here is the link to Chinmoku Part VI (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1021687#msg1021687). My new fic for TomoTomo is just above, scroll up to see it, its not too far away anyways.
Thanks to those who commented and gave me their thanks...gonna reply first before we go to the update though.
Replies:
@Pandah - Thank you very much for your kind compliments. :kneelbow: I'll leave it up to you whether its a premonition of something bad to come. I won't spoil anything, might take away the anxiety...
@karomuwi - Was actually choosing between ordinary or supernatural, but yeah, ordinary is too boring, I need some variation for once because I have a lot of plots in mind that aren't supernatural, hence why I'm straying away from normalcy. :) I did it on purpose, making you guys think its Tomochin. :lol: Vampires aren't the only one who uses coffins you know... XD
I don't really...think all too highly of Chinmoku, especially in the latest update, I feel like I'm dragging the drama too long. I don't really get why people tell me its good and even if you keep telling me it is, I still won't get it even with you guys telling me that it makes you feel the pain and despair. I do give you guys my gratitude, for feeling that its good though.
@anzai48 - Oh, so it is predictable. :lol:
I got inspired from seeing your TomoTomo scenes because their well written, I've been looking near and far for TomoTomo fics, and all I could see was yours and Tsundere!, which hasn't been updated...kinda depressing...
I'd like to correct you though because from what I've researched and studied, a Grim Reaper is a single entity, only one person exist to be a Grim Reaper, a Shinigami is a person or a group of person, though both of their purposes are exactly the same thing: guiding spirits and judging them.
I was actually contemplating about two supernatural creatures for Yuki, this, a Grim Reaper or a Yuki-Onna. A Yuki-Onna is a woman associated to snow. BUT, yeah... Grim Reaper suits her more because she has her Black Yukirin side.
(And yes if you're wondering, I do study around about supernatural creatures just so I can get some of their characteristics right for this fic. It sure takes me a lot of hours to read through some of them...)
Wait for the next upcoming updates, that'll answer your question whether Tomochin's a human or an oddity.
@kahem - A Kitsune huh...interesting thoughts of yours... Chiyuu does suit to be a Kitsune...hmm...
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Inequality
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Part I
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The world, as I see it with my own two eyes, looks vast and endless upon my limited scope of vision, if I were to somehow give a percentage of what my existence would be, I would say that I may not be able to even reach even a decimal digit considering how large this world of ours is.
I’m am just but a single human being, even if I were to vanish, it wouldn’t change the way this world would be, and even if the next few people around me died, it won’t change the way of how the world is developing.
The future is bleary and uncertain to me, it’s filled with a lot of dilemmas and consequences, it’s as if you’re going through a path filled with rose thorns and blazing hot charcoal beneath your feet.
I hate how unpredictable life is.
I hate how these imperfect world of ours is.
I hate everything about it.
The next thing that would have come into mind would me, wishing that I were never born in this world. That denial would be cruel though. Even though my own parents don’t deny my own existence, I don’t care, they don’t seem to even care for me either, their awfully too busy with their work in abroad to even care about me.
I’ve long gone stopped caring about them, just as how they stopped caring about me.
I’ve long lost interest in everything in reality ever since they left me to my own device, ever since they left me in my aunt’s care. Even my auntie doesn’t have any time for someone like me, she’s also busy working, although I do know that she wishes to take care of me properly, her time is limited.
It does bother me however, how much she wants to care for me, I’m not even her child, but she tries to treat me as one.
Is this some kind of pity?
I don’t need it though.
I’ve stopped caring and wanting anything from this world and from this reality.
I know I am being selfish, I know I am being a bad child. I have almost everything I can have, my parents provide me enough money for me to be able to buy anything that I want, I am also complete, both physically and mentally, or in other words, I am perfectly healthy and sane, yet I’m denying this life, my life to be exact.
Why though?
Well, to be honest, I don’t have a clear answer, all I know is that I feel like this life of mine is bland and dull, I don’t like it.
I feel like I have no purpose at all.
I have stopped caring on a few things about this reality.
Still, I can’t help but think at times how it would better if I have some kind of use instead of being an idle student doing nothing but waste her time in front of the computer. I know its normal for teenagers like me to be playing games and chatting on social threads all day long, but to the point that until another day comes in and the same activities repeat like a broken CD?
I feel useless, though to my own hidden embarrassment and guilt, that was what I do often, I just laze around in front of this cold machine and spend a portion of my life away gaming and watching anime. There were even times when I would just end up lying on my bed, reading manga.
It feels dull, this kind of life.
It has no purpose, it feels totally incomplete.
I know I shouldn’t care because this is what I’ve always been doing ever since I was a child, why now, out of all times did I just had to think of this?
I shouldn’t really be thinking of this kind of trivial matter, yet I can’t help it.
I just started to pay attention to this little topic ever since I’ve come to be reminded of how lucky I am. I’m not like those unfortunate people around me who have nothing or are ill in more than ways with sickness that are bounded to them for life or are chaining them close to death himself.
I am fortunate, I know that much, but after that?
I don’t know.
I really don’t know.
I wish someone would enlighten me a bit though, just what exactly would go after this.
I certainly don’t mind if someone tells me or reprimand me, just as long as they give me at least a concrete view or clue of what I can do to give this dull boring life of mine meaningful because I can’t stand it with just how much it’s going like this.
It’s too lonely and sad…
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End of Part I
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A/N: Short update is short. Update for Chinmoku Part VII will be pretty late because I'm a lazy procrastinator right now, I'm losing a bit of my inspiration and confidence, gotta regain it somehow or else I'll screw up Part VII.
Anyways, see you guys around. Bye.
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Chinmoku first!
Ahh Black, it seems as though even if she has these confused feelings for Geki, and even though she knows she messed up with Geki she has got this determination to change, for Geki, the girl she knows now that she loves, maybe though it is important to mention here that maybe a change is that black refers to herself as Yuki and to Geki as Rena......
As for Geki, well it seems as though she is still in turmoil over Black, and that ending, a hallucination of the rosary, is it Geki seeing Yuki's end or could it be the death of 'Black' not in the end of Yuki's life but the end of 'Black'.......
Inequality:
Definatly and interesting start here, seems as though this could be a little different story, looking forward to more!
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Not an update, again, and you know when it isn't an update....its Kiriban time! :lol:
Kiriban at 3000+ achieved! Thanks for 3000+ pg views!
This kiriban's special......is a picture again. I'm still busy writing multiple updates. I haven't had the time doing special shots yet. :sweatdrop:
Link to picture: BlackGeki II (http://i.imgur.com/z0RgA.jpg)
(Look at it from right to left)
Won't be updating right now because I'm still in the middle of doing my updates, but maybe after a few days or so, I'll post em'. I've suddenly found some inspiration and something that would motivate me, though only a little, its keeps me from moving my fingers. Finally.... I'm quite relieved. :cry:
To give you a check, I'm doing an update for Chinmoku Part VII, Our Past Together II and Stay by my side II. It's a busy week for me, so I hope I can do this right...gambatte! Hwaiting Sieka! >w<
Replies:
@anzai-san - Hahaha...I didn't really meant for Mayu's character to hold a grudge, but if she looked like she resented the world much more than Nezumi, I guess that's also good then... :lol:
If you can relate with Mayu, then you'd relate to me as well, seeing as how I mostly implied a bit of my life on Mayu there. They did say that experience is the best teacher, and when you have the experience, once you apply it to your writing, it makes things much more real in a sense, not that I felt Gekikara or Black's pain because I have not really gone through such a thing. :sweatdrop:
Definitely because of her dark image. :lol: I can never associate her with a being pure and white.....it doesn't seem to make sense to me. :lol: Try making a sweet, dere dere and shy Yuki. XD
@oddball - Yes, there is a change in there, Black isn't just Black and Gekikara isn't just Gekikara, they're becoming their past selves, as Yuki and Rena respectively again because no matter what you do or how you act, you'll always end up being the person who you were once had been.
...Wew, your deductions never fail to amaze me... I'm flabbergasted. Speechless even.
Inequalities...hmm, can't say anything, to be honest, I dunno how much it'll be different. :lol:
Anyways, again! Thanks to the people who've been commenting and giving me their thanks.
I haven't updated anything this week, but I'll post the links to recent updates/posts I had for those who are not aware:
Chinmoku - Part VI (BlackGeki) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1021687#msg1021687)
Stay By My Side - Part I (TomoTomo) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1022327#msg1022327)
Inequality - Part I (MaYuki) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1022882#msg1022882)
I'll see you guys next update.
Thanks again for the 3000+ pg views! :)
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OH GOD YOU AND YOUR GODLY DRAWING!
M-My nose! Blood won't stop coming out from my nose!!! /dies
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A/N: Updating! Finally...my continuous five hours of writing has finally paid off... I can't say that this update is the best that I've written though... I'm just glad and happy that I've finally written it down. :cry:
Gonna reply first to local-san.
Reply:
@local-buddies - LOL.... Hahaha, do you want some tissue or some blood packs? :lol: Thanks for commenting though, first time seeing you doing that here. :lol:
Before we go on, I would like to give my thanks to everyone who has stuck with me from the start of Chinmoku, I'm really grateful to all my readers and commenters who have been consistently been around here supporting Chinmoku, really, thank you very much. Although sometimes my writing turns shit and is suitable to be thrown out of the window, thank you for all the support.
Why am I saying this though?
...Well you see, didn't I say that Chinmoku will be coming to its end? :( And right now it is...so I hope you enjoy this part.
Let's get this on! >w<
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Chinmoku
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Part VII
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Why?
That question often never leaves her mind.
For the long years of her existence in this world, she had never once let go of that one simple question. Even in the back of her mind, there would often be a question that asks of any possible things about herself or around her surroundings and she hated those questions the most. However, more than hate, she feared the questions itself, knowing that the answers were something she dreaded because most of the questions were vastly pointed at herself and her existence.
The question itself was like a chain series of whirlwind that was threatening to blow her off the ground and tear her apart, just imagining that something like that would come to reality terrified her.
She wasn’t scared of fighting nor of getting hurt; she was scared because of fear, of the darkness that was closely looming over her, waiting to pull her to oblivion. Before, the thought of simply lying into a deep endless slumber was something close to nirvana for Gekikara, now, being close to death made her shudder and cower.
She was scared to die.
She had already come to realize it for a long time ago that she wasn’t strong as how many viewed her. She wasn’t courageous nor insane enough to throw herself to death.
She was weak; a simple weak sheep dressed in some fearsome looking wolf’s clothes just wanting to be worshipped and feared by many, wanting to be the very embodiment of death and violence.
Yet it was wrong.
It was a big misconception of strength.
Gekikara knew that everyone’s views were flawed about strength and she had been a part of the many imbeciles who thought that strength was measured through wins, but she had realized it.
That meaning that had been kept hidden for quite a long time from her.
Strength was not determined whether you had more wins than loses, it was determined over whether you could courageously leap past your fears and move forward.
The thought of that realization made Gekikara want to swallow her pride in her own self-embarrassment, she did acknowledge the meaning of the realization she had come upon in the end, but she could never force herself to face her fear even though she knew of that truth.
Facing head on with her fear was just as facing death head on.
If it were from before, she would gladly clash head on with death, but now is different; she’s different from what she was and what she had become now. Yet it did not mean that she would ignore the sign that she had seen, she could not ignore the horrible feeling at the pit of her stomach; she could not shrug off the anxiety in her heart.
The feeling was intolerable due to the weight on her heart that was threatening to fall on her. It was as if she had triggered a death flag out of nowhere.
‘Why was Black’s rosary there?’ Gekikara thought with a bitter frown on her face.
Gekikara look down at her hands, a pained stricken expression crossing on her face as she kept her eyes steadily on her palm.
What had been on her hands just moments ago was what embedded fear on her mind. She could not shrug off the sight of Black’s rosary being surrounded by blood, bones and rotten flesh with foul insects wriggling out. It was too disturbing that it left an imprint in her head.
Whether Gekikara wanted to deny it or now, it left her feeling alarmed.
‘Why…did I see that?’ Gekikara bit her bottom lip, running a bloody hand through her black mane, not truly caring whether the stench of blood would stick on her hair as she tried to ease her own anxiety.
It was just her imagination, her own delusions playing on her. Nothing bad would happen to the older girl, Black is strong after all; she was once a part of Rappapa’s four heavenly queen; the pillar of Majisuka’s strongest and finest yankees. There was no way the queen of darkness could ever get into deep trouble, not anymore at the very least.
‘Black would never lose again…she’s strong.’ Gekikara thought to herself, as if wanting to convince herself, as if wanting to believe that nothing bad would happen to the older girl.
She feared the thought of losing Black, of losing her to the older girl’s own element, the element of darkness.
While Gekikara did come to like the presence of darkness looming over her due to Black’s company, overtime, she grew to hate it again knowing that death and darkness was associated together. Rather, it was an understatement to think of them as just merely two entities associated to one another. These were two entities inseparatable from one another, almost as if they were one.
Gekikara bought her hands up and twiddled them, her anxiety increase the further she thought of it.
Black had been in so much pain in the past, another one would really set Black off. Gekikara knew that Black was fragile deep inside ever since the very beginning of their meeting. If the horrifying assault in the past had already broken her, what more if it were something worse…
“No…Nothing’s more worse than that…”
”Nothing…” Gekikara shook her head; she spat the words out, hatred dripping all over her tone as she felt her resentment peek in. Gekikara was never all too fond of that memory; the night of when Black was dealt with a heavy life-altering incident that left her unstable, just as Gekikara herself.
She hated what happened and resented the man who caused all the pain and misery in Black’s life from the core of her tainted and sinful heart.
That night had been a bitter nightmare turned into reality for her and ever since it had happened, it never left the back of her mind.
Gekikara had always been aware of that dark memory creeping into her the least when she wanted them on the times where she’s in her most vulnerable state. She had also been aware of the presence of these voices that urged her carnal desire to dominate and destroy people. It would leave her mind unstable with dark murderous thoughts, voices singing and chanting, cackling and laughing, bolstering at her to take a step, to take a deep dive into the darkest core of the pit of hell and bathe into the deep crimson red ocean of blood.
She had tried to resist the urged before, but it was Gekikara’s guilty pleasure that beseeched her from resisting the temptation of tasting the carnage.
Gekikara loved violence.
She loved playing around with peoples’ body as if they were toys merely made for her to toy with and destroy.
She loved hearing her victims’ screams and groans until they whimper and toss around in the presence of flame blazing pain spreading through the core of their body with gut clenching cracking of bones and deep pain stabbing wounds.
She loved everything about violence; with her using violence, she had been able to properly enjoy other peoples’ pain, just like how other’s enjoyed her misery.
It was sweet revenge; a payback that she had long fulfilled, yet even after she had gotten her revenge, the voices continued to haunt her.
The voices urged her to continue the carnage that she had already long done by trying to push her to the edge with continuous insulting remarks and making her see memories of the past that she had long tried to push away. The voices continued the process repetitiously, attempting to pull her again into the world of malevolence and malice.
Gekikara remembered those sleepless nights she sat on the corner of her almost empty bedroom, her walls stained with dried up blood, scratches and marks of violence, the marks of which was caused by her furious scratching.
She could not sleep a wink almost every time darkness would fall upon her surrounding as the voices grew more tremendously in volume.
On those sleepless nights, Gekikara would pull her legs to her chest and huddle over the corner like a frightened child, eyes looking around frantically, searching for the monster dwelling in the dark. The atmosphere would often grow thick and cold that it was almost hard to move and breath.
She had feared it, the darkness that always looms around her, waiting to catch her off-guard and pull her to oblivion. She feared death, unconsciously at that time.
Only was it that in Black’s presence did she felt at ease and calm, the voices disappearing and leaving her off with the blankness in her mind.
The older girl held an atmosphere that could easily soothe Gekikara’s own hysteric and chaotic mind, even when the Yuki of the past because Black, she still held this certain aura that Gekikara had come to like after constantly being around her.
It was a familiar aura, just like of hers, it was dark just as the most impure of all colors, but in a weird sense, it held its own purity due to not being mixed in with other colors, unlike that of Gekikara’s whom was covered in red, tainted by pure malevolence and carnage.
Black would most likely be displeased with her on occasions when she would appeared near the older girl, smelling of blood, sweat and dirt, biting her nails in a bad habit that had become her mannerism but Gekikara did not cared whether Black would frown and scold her silently. She loved the attention she would often receive from the former queen.
It was one of Gekikara’s guilty pleasures. One of which she would never admit, just like her own tainted and impure thoughts and feelings. She was not a saint after all, nor had she been one and never will she be one.
She will always stay the way she is, tainted and scarred, unworthy of being loved by Black.
She’ll always stay the way she is, as Gekikara, the lowest kind of creature to ever roam on the face of the planet.
The realization itself had already been from a long time ago, but time in time, remembering her own faults and her own miserable actions; it drained Gekikara immensely, an uncomfortable feeling quaking in her heart.
Gekikara clutched her hands painfully tight, burying her nails into her open wounds, causing blood to ooze slightly from her aggravated cuts. Gekikara bit her bottom lip with a pain stricken expression on her face. It hurts, knowing that she could never be worthy, it hurts because she had already shown how sullied she was.
[That’s right…]
[You aren’t worthy of being around her.] The voice gently whispered to her, cooing her with a hint of maliciousness. Gekikara felt her shoulders twitch slightly, almost as if on reflex after hearing the voice, she stared at her hands, watching as small trail of blood drip from her self-inflicted wounds.
The voice continued, tauntingly even, whispering belittling words into Gekikara’s ears, [An animal like you who only knows how to hurt people can never be worthy to be in anyone’s presence.]
[You are the lowest of all kinds; you’d just bring people misery and trouble in your wake…]
“I know that already…” Gekikara whispered painfully, averting her eyes from her hands as she put them to her side and leaned on the concrete wall, her head bowed down in shame.
[You knew~? Yet why did you feign innocence then if you knew?] The voice cackled; the tone of its voice leered onto Gekikara.
[Why did you stay? Even though you know what misery you can bring?]
Gekikara closed her eyes tightly, trying to block off the mockeries that rang in her ears, already feeling an impending uncomfortable feeling reaching into her head, stabbing in her mind. Gekikara grasped her shorts, gripping it deadly tight as she tried to block of the voice.
[A creature like you can never be with someone like her! Yet why didn’t you leave her side?]
[Did you really even care about her? Did you even really love her?]
[Or did you just stay because you wanted to feed your ego?] The voice snarled pointedly at her in derision, laughing maniacally when Gekikara shifted uncomfortably, hands going up to cover her ears as she focused solely in blocking the voice off her head.
[I am right? Aren’t I? The person that you are is nothing but an egoistic scum of a creature! Ahahaha!]
Gekikara did not want to hear anything anymore; she just wanted to stop the voice. She wanted everything to stop already, everything!
“Stop it…” Gekikara said through her gritted teeth, her eyes closed tightly with her hands clutching her head all the while covering her ears.
[Stop? Where’s the fun in that? I thought you enjoyed pain!]
[You’ve beaten people far too many to be counted with just your hands, isn’t this your guilty pleasure?]
[…If you had it your way, you would have even killed all of your victims…] The voice cooed just near Gekikara’s ear. The words hung in the air, caressing Gekikara with pricking sensations like that of needles and thorns. Gekikara did not like the loving tone the voice held, it let in a sense of fear to creep into her heart.
Gekikara felt her body break into cold sweat, the atmosphere turned heavy and dark, terror clinging onto the edge, it as if she had something monstrous beside her. The aura sent chills down her body, she wanted to turn around and look at the presence beside her, but her body would not let her do just that.
She wanted it to stop; she wanted the voice to stop, but the voice continued on, prolonging its torment, its tone soft and sweet but unwavering and cruel nevertheless, […Why do you stop yourself anyways?]
[Why do you limit yourself to just letting them feel pain when all of them just give you the very same amount?]
[Why don’t you just kill them all? That way, if everyone dies…you’d finally get the real freedom you seek.]
“Real…freedom?” Gekikara’s whispered, the tension running through her body suddenly decreasing. The young queen dropped both of her hands off her ears when her interest was perked up at the sound of the word freedom.
It had always been what she wanted to achieve. She had long wanted to break free from her cage and the chains that bind her to the torments of the turmoil in her head that her parents inflicted on her.
Even though she had long gone achieve the freedom of her parents grasp on her, she wanted more of it; she wanted to be free from the past that often binds her back and keeps her from moving forward.
She always wanted it.
She always seeks for it.
She wanted to be free like their deceased president. She wanted to be more at ease, to feel that nothing would loom over her, that there was nothing to fear in the darkness of the night at the empty house of where her parents once resided in.
She wanted to forget all the pain.
Everything.
Gekikara could become a normal girl in the eyes of everyone else and shed off the side of her that everyone knew so well, the side of her that’s often tainted and covered in blood.
If she attains that freedom…then she might find peace then after it.
A peace that she had only known and found in Black’s presence.
Maybe then…if she finds that freedom and sheds off her malicious malevolent side then she may stand a chance to be worthy in front of Black.
It’s for Black…then she’d do anything.
…Even if it meant killing and sacrificing others or herself for the sake of attaining it.
Gekikara’s body relaxed on its own as its owner hung its head, shoulders slumped and arms hanging on both sides limply. From Gekikara’s once pain stricken expression, it dissolved into an indifferent one that held no emotion, her eyes color darkened from its normal brown shade.
The young queen looked none of what she had been, she was not the traumatic girl that had once been clutching her head from moments ago, nor was she grueling in the torments of the voice that beseeched her; Gekikara was now a person who looked lifeless.
It was almost as if she had become an empty vessel, a puppet or a marionette without a soul.
“…All I have to do is kill them…right?” Gekikara mumbled, sounding hollow and monotonous. The young queen stood there, almost as if dazed or entranced, yet it was nothing like that, Gekikara held a dangerous glint in her eyes that shone even in the darkness of the street she was currently in.
The voice giggled, pleased with what was transpiring at that moment before it released a content sigh, snickering as it cooed its reply, [That’s right…]
[If you kill everyone, everything will become alright.]
[You’ll be able to fulfill everything you wish…] The voice said, holding up an air of confidence to mask the pure malicious mischief beneath its words.
It was obviously a lie, a lie that only a fool would fall through, yet Gekikara did not mind it, she did not mind becoming a fool nor did she pay attention to the remaining consciousness of her nagging mind, telling her the wrongness of what she was about to put herself upon.
It was wrong, to deal with everything using violence. Someone had once taught her of that, someone she treasured and idolized; a person that could never rise up from the dead, someone that she could never see again.
Gekikara had once held on to that teaching of their beloved deceased former president, believing her words to be the truth as she had once helped the young queen see a small glimpse of freedom and the light of everything that can pierce through darkness. She had shown her deep friendship, compassion, bond and love that she had never realized that she could attain in such a short span and Gekikara was grateful to Yuko for that.
She had always held on to that belief, ever since the day after their president gave them each a message before passing away. And then after, she had stopped fighting without a reason to hold her up to once again use her fists, something of which became a burden to her at the start of her retake year in Majisuka Gakuen.
It had once became an issue between her and the girl whom calls herself Center, a pesky girl who wanted to take their beloved president’s position, but she did not fight Center, holding onto the belief that Yuko had told her and onto the promise of graduating.
That was not an issue now.
If before, she could not fight Center without a deep reason, now she held one, it was something that she would do in all means possible close to death, or rather, all means to take it up to death.
It did not matter anymore whether she would pay later for her own sins if it meant that she could achieve everything that she wants that she can never have.
Even if it meant going against Yuko’s belief and wish and disappointing their deceased former president.
She would do it.
“If I kill them…I can be free, right?”
[Yes, you will.]
“If that’s the case then I’ll just have to kill everyone…” Gekikara said, a smile forming on her face before she giggled softly. The young queen bought her right hand up and bit her nails, rocking herself back and forth in a slow manner as she giggled to herself.
Gekikara grinned insanely, lifting her head up as she stared forward, looking at the dark shadow in front of her before her grin turned into a smirk at the sight she saw through the darkness.
From within the dark shadows, a figure could be seen leaning on the wall, arms crossed in front of her chest, splatters of blood stained the young girl’s face, arms, hands and legs, a cruel sadistic smile played on her lips as she stared back at Gekikara with a look of pure malice and mischief, her eyes dark and piercing.
Gekikara released a series of loud giggling before she continued to bite her nails, staring at the dark anomalistic figure in front of her. The atmosphere around them cold and dangerous, it was fearsome and the stench in the air clung of blood.
Gekikara patiently watched as the figure moved from the darkness and started to walk towards her until it revealed herself in front of Gekikara.
A smirk played on the girl’s face as she stared back at Gekikara, the two stayed like that, staring at each other for what seemed to have been eternity, daring not to remove their sight from one another before Gekikara got tired and averted her eyes, but not before letting a sly guttural smile form on her lips.
“Hehehe…ahahaha!” Gekikara giggled, finding it amusing that the person she was looking at in front of her; was in fact…
Herself.
Gekikara glanced at the figure with mild interest; her eyes twitching and blinking ever once in a while, the figure would merely give her a pleasant smile, a smile that held maliciousness beneath it.
[Will you really do it?]
[Will you really kill everyone?] The figure asked, looking expectantly over at Gekikara who merely giggled.
“…I’ll kill them.”
“Everyone…”
“…and all the people that gets in my way!” Gekikara howled, laughing insanely while the figure merely giggled in response, watching as Gekikara started to move, taking one-step at a time as the young queen dragged her feet.
Once Gekikara was out of reach, the figure looked away and turned to the opposite direction, walking away all the same as its body slowly disintegrated into thin air, leaving only a thick heavy humid atmosphere behind as the figure giggled and said a statement that vibrated in silence:
[…Kill everyone then…my dear self.]
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End of Part VII
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A/N: Just joking. I'm just fooling around, this isn't the last part, I have the feeling that you guys already noticed it while reading at the middle. Hahaha...sorry bout' that. I am sincere though with what I said, I'm really thankful to those who still reads this even though it's shitty writing. :lol:
Sorry to make you wait for a long time though and giving you an update like this, hahaha, this is the bottom of my standard, but yeah, my hands just started to move fast while I was writing this. I really like writing dark scenes and angst, its one of which I'm really comfortable in writing...ahh... :)
Thank you very much and I hope I'll see you guys again in the next update!
I hope you at least enjoyed reading this.
See you guys around. :cathappy:
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Yes!!!! KILL KILL KILL KILL!!!!
Be free Gekikara-sama! Be free and let yourself taste the freedom you truly deserve!!! :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
Sieka-san, will I be free if I do that as well? :dunno:
Anyway!!! YES!!! It's not the end! And it's more angsty!!! Bwuahahahahahaha~! :twisted: I love the way you write angst! That's why you're one of my two Top #1 authors! I respect thee~ :kneelbow:
And Sieka-san...Why are you so good at this? Please tell me!!! :bow: :bow: :bow: You are awesome!! Really awesome!!!
You updated an update ( :lol:) that was a bit close to me...And now I really that this won't end. But then...this fic can't continue on forever. I mean...you have to focus on your NEW fics!!! I'm waiting an update~
Thank you for your update by the way. ^^
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HOORAH!!! SIEKA-SAN UPDATED! :twothumbs
omg evil gekikara has been unleashed! shes going to exterminate everything and everybody in her way! :panic: :panic:
maybe... *caresses imaginary moustache* since gekikara is uncontrollable now she ends up killing somebody and then....black is going to try and stop her and then gekikara ACCIDENT KILLS BLACK IN THE PROCESS :O *gasp* *shakes head....this will only be in my imagination*
mmm this chapter was indeed deep...*nod nod* but maybe the only way for her to taste freedom is to ...actually kill
but ahhhhh!! thats terrible D:
but thanks for the update :D
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It's became very bad for Gekikara! Black save her !
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So the thing that Geki fears the most is, fear.....
A fear of what she saw, Black's bloodied Rosary, a fear for black herself, a fear that it symbolizes that Black is dead to her? A fear that without Black, who perhpas she now feels is dead to her there will be nothing to balence out her life, to bring good to the bad, nothing to soothe the fear and anger and hate in her heart...
A fear that It was Black that made her a better person and without Black geki feels as though she is nothing, worthless, scum.... And the voice, a voice from her loosing Black, a voice that says she is unworthy because of Black rather than anything to do with herself, you chased away the good in you, so you must be unworthy is what these voices say to Geki....
But maybe we see her the key difference in Black and Geki, where as at this point Black was able to fight of her past and almost in a way return to being Yuki again, we see Rena unable to escape 'Geki' or that part of her at least, we see this as we discover that the voices that Geki heard were infact herself, or at least the part of herself that she wanted to escape from, the voice that fills Geki with the resolution to destroy everything to get the peace she deserves, to give into to her worst instincs....
I know that Yuki hoped that Rena would wait for her, I hope Yuki, that you do not need much longer.......
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Ah thank for the update sieka-san
Geki.. you are so BLACK... and more and more black... without BLACK...
I hope the next chapter Geki see the Light of Hope in her Beloved BLACK...
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This is not an update, nor is this Kiriban time.
I'd just like to inform you guys of the poll that I placed.
Take a vote of which would you like, since to be honest, I'm debating to myself what would be the next thing I'll do after Chinmoku. This poll might help me decide though....so I hope all my readers vote. It would really help me a lot of you do.
The most recent update is here, click the link for those who haven't read my update for Chinmoku:
Chinmoku - Part VII (BlackGeki) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1025682#msg1025682)
And before this post ends, I'll reply to the comments I've received from Chinmoku Part VII.
Replies:
@karomuwi - You sure are a sadist karomuwi-san. :sweatdrop: Er, yes and no. You'll be free from the people who oppress you, BUT, your conscience will haunt you, so in a way you are free physically but mentally, you're being chained down.
Thanks I guess...? Though I think I feel like I'm lacking on this part, as if the angst isn't enough. :smhid I don't get it though. :banghead:
My secret to good angst is to eat well, sleep well, drink well, procrastinate well and be an extreme otaku. 8)
Lol, just trolling you there dude. Hmm..... I don't know really. I just write whatever I have in mind while sad or melancholic music plays along in the background. :lol:
Why do I feel like there's something bad about that focus on the 'new'....
@Pandah - Yes, she'll kill everyone in her way. :lol:
And I think that..... *shaves Pandah-san's imaginary moustache* ...you should wait for my update or else your anxiety will increase with your imagination... :lol:
@kahem - It is bad...so bad that Black needs to stop angsting herself and get her butt on the move. :lol:
@oddball - You never fail to amaze me. To be honest, I think you are my favorite reader, you just make the best comments ever. :)
Ah no, Black isn't dead to Gekikara its just that seeing Black's rosary tarnished like that might symbolize a storm to come, or death, as what the other readers have been saying about it. Although Gekikara isn't superstitious, seeing something like that will surely make you fear for the worst, seeing as how Geki's close to Black.
...Geki isn't afraid that Black made her a better person, she's afraid that Black would disappear from her, leaving her alone in the world, since Black is the closest person to Geki.
Yep your right. That voice is calling for destruction and its definitely a part of Geki, since it did come from her mind.
@anzai-san - Lol, you can't tell that to someone who's insane! Hmm, Geki suffered a lot already? That doesn't seem a lot to me though. :sweatdrop:
I wonder too why we have the same idea, but as they say, great minds think alike. 8)
@kurogumi - Thank you for commenting. Lol, too many word 'black' in your sentence I'm getting dizzy. :lol:
Thanks to everyone who commented and gave me their thanks. Though I wonder, did I really do well in this part? There really seems like there's something missing. I just can't put a finger on it. :smhid
Anyways, if you want to comment or state your objection or opinion about the poll, please free to do so and I'll try to answer some questions if you ask as well. Don't be shy though, lol, be shameless and ask, but be aware that some questions won't be answered. :sweatdrop:
Thanks, see you guys around, still busy writing Chinmoku Part VIII, it'll be late again.... :sweatdrop:
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everyones gonna be a goner!! :panic:
oh nos :O my imaginary moustache! ahaahah yes definitely waiting for your next update...my imagination is running wild at whats gonna happen! everythings turning into some horror gore movie in my head LOL
i have voted in the poll as well :thumbup
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A/N: It's update time! >___<lll I'm so late, I'm sorry... I don't have any good excuse to make but to say that I was busy with drawing something, I was also having a hard time in writing this...well basically, I'm always having a hard time writing too much descriptions, but I do them don't I? And it becomes very verbose, its so unnecessary isn't it...? :smhid I really need to learn to cut down on my descriptions...
Anyways, first of all, I'd like to clear up a few things...
First of all, Chinmoku won't be ending in this part, so yes, the ending is still a few parts away I think...too bad for you guys huh? You'd still be suffering from my crappyness. :sweatdrop:
Also, the poll was placed up in an earlier date so that I could gauge what you guys want, rather than just simply placing it up after Chinmoku. I'd rather want to see you're votes and picks, and I won't be closing the poll yet so you can still vote, I'll close it after Chinmoku finishes. :) And I did say at my other post that I'm using the poll to help me decide right? But I can't say that I'll really really follow the poll, it depends on my imagination, plot bunnies and my eagerness to write, but I'll still write all of them and update, just the who'd go first would be the question....
Anyways, gonna reply first to anzai-san and Pandah-san before we go to the update... The other replies for Chinmoku Part VII can be found here: ~linky~ (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1029247#msg1029247)
Replies:
@anzai-san - Oddball-san is the best, his/her? Umm, I'll go with his for now, anyways, his comments are really entertaining to read, and his deductions are pretty good, I'm often surprised when I read them. :lol:
I'm sorry to say though anzai-san, I'm already dead aren't I? I'm a spirit, killed and is still being killed by teasers like you and LeNosferatu-san. :lol: Though I'm quite crazy myself you know, just that......it isn't obvious. :twisted:
Well, I don't want to make Geki suffer more, but I just felt that something was lacking in Part VII, I just can't put a finger on it. :smhid Lol, of course, my bad, let me correct myself. Sadistic minds troll and think alike. 8)
The final part still has a long way to go dude... :sweatdrop:
I will update my other stories too, don't worry.
Congrats on being a page topper~ :cathappy:
@Pandah - Ahh, stop panicking.... :lol: Don't worry Pandah-san, your moustache will be back...after a few months or years that is. :lol: Would you like me to draw you a moustache instead? XD Ehhh.......do you want something bloody? I can do it if you want.....but it would be pure mayhem. :lol:
Thanks for voting! :bow:
Okay, so now that I've replied to this two awesome readers, lets go with the update.
Please be warned that if you are not well with bloody scenes or violence, you can take this chance to leave, or please click this link over here: AKB Fanfic Thread (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?board=141.0) it will redirect you back to the AKB Fanfic thread. :)
Anyways, thanks to everyone who voted, commented and are still reading. I wonder if all 30+ who voted are my readers, I'm having a serious case of doubt here because its impossible, but mah...oh well. :lol:
Here's the update, hope you enjoy reading~ :lol:
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Chinmoku
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Part VIII
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Time was flying by faster and crueler just as the night grew colder and darker, silence grew immensely as the only sounds that surfaced were rushed footsteps and heavy rhythmic breathing. The elements in the darkness were soon to awaken, rearing their ugly heads as they wait for their preys and being once one of them, Black knew what dangers lies in the darkness.
Black scoffed, knitting her brows together in deep concentration as she dodged the metal post, her feet making big long heavy steps as she raced against time, knowing that her time was limited.
Just where was she?
Where exactly did Gekikara go?
The question rang like an angry bee inside Black’s head as she continued to run, looking around on both sides as she tried to spot the younger girl’s small figure in the shadows that covered the streets and alleys in hopes that she would catch sight of the young queen.
Black used her piercing dark obsidian orbs to sharply look through the darkness, as if she had an eye of a cat, enabling her to see through even the darkest alleys or rooms. However, even as her trained eyes kept looking and searching, to her own agitation and fear, not even a single presence or human figure appear at the corner of her eyes.
Just how late was it already?
Was it already nearing midnight?
Black did not know. She did not have any sense of time at the current moment, nor did she had the chance to check her cellphone, having already lost her ability to think or come up with any coherent thoughts as her only focus was solely in reaching Gekikara. Black did not care whether she was making a fool of herself or of whatever her state was in the past, Black did not care of the consequences that were bound to haunt her.
Society and sexuality be damned for all she cared. Black did not care of other peoples’ impression, she did not care about their disapproving stares or their hisses or any withering mockery coming from them, they don’t matter. If it had been her past self, she would have considered it.
However, this is different.
Today is not yesterday, today is now; if she were to let this bother her, nothing will happen. She would just end up getting stuck again, just like a mouse trapped in a maze, forever to roam around, searching for an exit.
Black doesn’t want her life to end up like that; she wasn’t planning to stop just because she had already reached a dead end. If it were to happen again and she was unable to successfully find the exit, then she would just have to make a way for herself by using all means possible, one way or another.
That was how her determination is at this point.
There was no turning back.
The decision had been made and nothing will stop her now.
If Black were to falter now and look back, she might not be able to move on forward but as heavy as her miseries and mistakes were in the past that tarnished her good moral and her bond with her parents, her reason to run forward was much heavier than her own sins.
Desperation itself propelled her to move, even whilst she was nearing her limits.
Yet, Black kept running. Running until she felt her feet hurt just as much as how her beating heart pumped in her chest.
In the middle of an unfamiliar street at an unknown time of the night, Black aimlessly continued her search even as she had almost stumbled down to the ground; the former queen kept herself up, dragging her body amidst the pain threatening to tear her apart due to the exhaustion creeping into her.
It had been minutes, maybe even hours since she had started her search and ran around the streets, searching even the alleys and the shortcuts up to the hills. Black even went as far as to search her school alma mater, yet in each place that she searched, all her attempts went for not as she still couldn’t find Gekikara.
Where is she?
Where did she go?
Was she safe and unharmed?
The questions ran around like a train in her mind, almost nudging her as if mockingly as the questions circling in her head had still not been answered. That and not being able to spot even a sliver of Gekikara’s shadow frustrated Black to her wits end.
It usually wasn’t that hard for Black to find Gekikara, not that Gekikara ever actually hid from her. The younger girl had always been around her, whether by her side or from behind her, she would often remain close as much as possible. Black never had it hard in finding the young queen, but now, it was a different case.
It had become extremely difficult, almost nearly impossible to find the young queen with all the possible places that she could go. Even though Black had the ability of fast agility and speed, that itself was not enough to make her searching easy.
It wasn’t easy at all.
Black let out a frustrated sigh, biting her bottom lip, feeling her regrets washing over her as she continued to blame herself over her own stupidity.
She regretted her actions, deeply even, for acting like a fool and letting the girl get away, and to think that Gekikara had walked away farther than what she could have imagine. Black even searched near and far, high and low for the young queen yet not a single trace remained, nor could she even feel the other girl’s presence, which she often does due to Gekikara’s unmistakable presence.
Now, nothing remained at all, it was almost as if Gekikara left without leaving anything behind, as if she had disappeared into thin air and it left Black fearing for the worst of all possibilities.
‘Rena…’
‘Where are you?’ Black thought, gritting her teeth together while she let out a puff of breath as she ran over the bridge, turning her head on both sides frantically, her long black mane fluttering in the air along with her unzipped black tracksuit jacket.
Black could feel her blood turn cold and her heartbeat palpitate; her heart already hurts far too much after running around for quite a long time, but Black did not stopped, even if it meant that she would collapse under the brink of exhaustion. It was rather unusual though. She rarely ever had to run for so long, only in short spans, but this one certainly challenged the limitations of her own ability, forming it into her own disadvantage.
It was frustrating enough. Yet the feeling itself kept Black from moving, partly because her own frustration was set onto herself.
If anything were to happen to the younger queen, Black would not have any excuses to make nor have the dignity to face the other Rappapa members and Yuko, knowing that she had been at fault for wounding Gekikara’s feelings and due to her full responsibility over Gekikara. She too knew that she wouldn’t forgive herself. The growing guilt inside her would be too much to bear if something drastic happened to the younger girl.
Even just the very simple thought of it left pain and anxiety in her heart.
“Rena, please be safe…” Black whispered, pursing her lips into a tight line while she held a tight grasp of her silver rosary, Black bought it up her lips and placed a small peck on the cross, grasping it firmly near her chest as she prayed, hoping that Gekikara was out of trouble while she continued to run.
Black ran, running to places she never knew had been there, aimlessly even without any real direction and in cases of which are purely random.
The former queen acted out basely because of desperation and her own anxiety.
It was foolish, just how much she was acting, how much of a fool she had been, but she just ran and searched without even bothering to stop and think for once, she was just clinging onto hoping that she would stumble upon Gekikara’s location. It was like a game of luck, a challenge of chances and Black would risk it, she would risk taking this chance, this one last chance that she hoped would not come too late.
Black slowly decreased her speed, breathing heavily as she wiped off the sweat dripping down her chin. The former queen of darkness panted, trying to even out her breathing while she fanned her face, attempting to cool off her hot flushed cheeks. The raven took a quick look around before settling into jogging off after having noticed a new unfamiliar alley up ahead.
The former queen carefully treaded down the staircase, her senses on full alert as she entered into the realms of the darkness.
Black’s defense instantly went up as her senses detected something far off with her surroundings. The distinct smell of copper suddenly invaded and wafted into her nostrils, the atmosphere grew colder, almost dangerous even as Black ventured deeper.
There was something wrong in her surroundings; it was almost as if something was disrupting the balance.
Black glanced around, preparing for whatever was it to come out in the darkness when the former queen’s legs abruptly stopped from advancing another step; Black felt uneasy at the feeling the winds cold breeze biting her as the chills went up her spine when she noticed the furious scratches and damages on the concrete walls.
It was terrifying and hideous, the damage was completely big just with how eye-catching it was; it was almost as if someone or something had done it in a frantic hasty manner given how numerous yet shallow the cuts were, but that aside, the most disturbing part was that it did not just end there. There were minimal yet dangerous deep stab damages on the wall itself, a part of the blade stuck on the wall, almost hauntingly as blood ran down and dripped off it.
The traces of blood were evident on the wall and to Black’s surprise, the blood itself was still fresh when she touched it; it was as if the episode had happened just as of now. The blood dripped down the wall and towards the floor, accumulating to form into a sick disgusting puddle while some splattered on the floor randomly, dying the concrete pavement with thick deep crimson colored liquid.
Overall, the state of the alley was horrible and everything was in a complete mess. The apparent hideous marks of scratches and bloody handprints where inevitably present, blood was smudged off, marring the wall as it created a long line that went further forward, only that it was cut off by the shadows the lurked almost indignantly in front of Black as if it wanted to push Black away.
It was alarming; frightening even at how much the alley’s state was; it was as if a fight had broken out and ruptured, creating a big disaster after its wake. Black however did not turn around and flee. She just stood straight, quietly even as she gauged her surroundings, trying to sense even a sliver of a person’s presence, hoping that she might and might not detect Gekikara’s presence.
While it was true that a gang can cause this much ruckus, there was one big exception.
Black knew of one person who can do just as much damage, so the chances weren’t pretty off that younger queen had been here; that aside, the tension, apprehension and the smell of blood and carnage that clung in the humid atmosphere here was not that much far off from Gekikara’s own aura.
She just wished that Gekikara was not here; if else she had been, the younger queen would be in big trouble for mischievous conduct and inappropriate behavior yet again, a case that held her back from graduating. Black did not want that to happen, knowing that Gekikara wanted to graduate just as much, and that she had promised to their beloved president that she would graduate, regardless of what her image would be in front of the younger Yankees in Majijou.
Moreover, although Black did want to see Gekikara, it was not appropriate for her to want to see the younger girl in this kind of place, a place this tarnished and damaged beyond humanly possible.
‘I hope that you aren’t here.’ Black thought as steeled her resolves, swallowing the lump forming in her throat as she took a small step forward, cautiously and slowly she entered deeper, staring at the bloody marks all over the walls and floor, feeling even more anxious as the amount of blood increased successively, no less accompanied by inhumane looking objects strewn on the floor.
Black picked up one of them, closely examining the bloody piece of object that looked like a broken steel blade, something of which also seemed like a part of the one stuck on the wall from a while ago.
The former queen touched the blade, feeling the rigidness of it’s once supposed to be sharp steely points. The blade itself looked worn-out from overuse, some of its parts chipped off, something that should never happen seeing as how it was metal. But then again, how the blade was exactly used and handled was something Black did not know, but whoever used this blade must have had the full intent to kill.
Black cringed at the thought and scrunched her face at the sudden invading intense gut-wrenching smell, something that smelled far more worst than blood.
Black turned her head to the side, glancing around as she tried to feel for anyone’s presence around her current range of perimeter before Black turned her head back to the front as she sensed something shift and move in the dark.
Black’s body quickly acted on reflex and swiftly, she carelessly threw the blade haphazardly as she saw something shift once more in the dark. The blade however, only flew straight past the hazy shadowy figure and landed on the floor with a loud clanking sound that echoed in the dark alley, piercing the heavy silence that was casted in the atmosphere, almost unceremoniously even that it made Black cringe at the painful effect it left in her ears.
The former queen pursed her lips into a tight line in pure displeasure, clicking her tongue in irritation. Black slowly took a few steps backward when she heard the something being kicked, along with another sound of something skidding and scrapping on the floor oh so disturbingly.
“Who’s there?” The raven hissed, keeping a safe distance away from hovering near the dark shadows as she felt an ominous presence stepping near, slowly even as the heavy footsteps came in short pauses. Black kept her sharp hawk-like eyes in front of her, glaring cautiously alert, as the footsteps grew louder and nearer.
The question however met thick silence as the sounds of footsteps and scrapping continued before something was tossed in front of Black, landing on the pavement with a loud thud when the object lied on the floor in a bloody heap.
Black’s eyes widening in horror in full realization of the identification of the object on the floor.
It wasn’t just simply an item or object that Black could just shrug off…
…It was a person’s body.
Unmoving, battered and badly wounded. Blood oozing freely over the person’s wounds as the blood pooled on the floor almost indignantly as the stench of copper filled Black’s sense; overloading the heavy feelings in her heart as Black felt her breath caught up in her throat. The feeling itself was something that threatened to overtake her and suffocate her as the raven tried to desperately remember how to breathe.
It was not that she wasn’t used to seeing a battered body before, she had seen quite a lot as she did fought in the past, along with the other Rappapa members and their beloved president.
Black was used to seeing badly beaten bodies that lied on the floor, looking like a beaten pulp over Gekikara’s and Yuko’s way of fighting.
What shook her nerves about this case was that the person was ghastly pale, inhumanly pale, and foremost, it wasn’t moving anymore, it did not even show any signs of life: a single twitch or turn or groaning, nor even the sight of the person’s chest moving rhythmically to show breathing motions.
It simply lied there, still and motionless.
“…W-What…” Black stuttered, struggling to voice out her thoughts, only to fail miserably when she saw a figure step out from the shadows, holding onto something shining and long before it came hurdling down on the body, piercing the person’s chest, straight at the heart. The action caused blood to splatter messily before the blood sprayed off like a shower from the wound inflicted on the chest area. The sharp katana was then dragged horizontally, tearing and cutting the lying corpse’s flesh.
“A-Ahh…” Black gasped in horror, feeling her legs turn into jelly as she watched the katana cut down deeper and deeper, stabbing and cracking flesh and bones as the sword’s glorious stainless beauty in turn was tarnished in red sticky liquid.
Black watched in horror at the incriminating scene in front of her, watching as the person’s body was being toyed with in a disrespectful and discriminating manner; flesh and bloody splattered on the floor, messily decorating the wall with deep crimson paint as it slid down, pooling along with the leftover dried up blood.
The former queen wanted to avert her eyes and flee, but she could not move her legs, nor could she tear her eyes away as if her body was paralyzed in fear as she saw the blade stabbing down frantically as it dug deeper and deeper through flesh. The sounds of steel cutting and scrapping over bones and flesh evident as the horrendous scene continued, Black thought that the carnage would continue of forever, but the blade stopped plunging done all of sudden.
The katana was pulled out, blood dripping grandly from its long sharp body, Black shivered at the sight of the sharp deadly object in front of her, staring at it in wide eye horror as it gleamed in the dark.
Black trembled when the figure slowly moved; taking a step closer to her, while she dragged the point of the katana, scrapping the floor with its sharp edge, making a shrill ear-splitting noise.
Never did Black had an encounter something this extreme; she never fully had the experience of killing someone, nor having the intent herself to kill people. She fought only to protect herself and to show people a lesson, but to go as far as what this murderer had done…?
It never crossed her mind, from in the past and up until now.
Black stared at the demise of the corpse that lay forgotten on the pavement as the figure approached her before glaring at the approaching intruder, the shadows aversely covering up the murderer’s identity, something that her vision could pierce through, but Black couldn’t. She could sense something hollow and dangerous was surrounding the figure, something dark and malevolent surrounded it like a cloak.
Black took a deep breath, grasping her rosary as she tried to keep herself calm, trying to lower down the tension and fear that rising in her chest.
“Who…”
“Just who are you?” Black whispered, glaring at the figure as she tried to push take a few steps back, trying to increase the distance that was slowly and steadily decreasing as the shady figure approached her whilst dragging the katana from behind.
The figure did not answer; it merely snickered in response before it leapt forward, swinging the katana down towards Black. Fortunately enough, Black quickly reacted by leaping back, hissing angrily when she felt a jolt of pain come her ankle.
Black ignored pain as she stared cautiously at the figure, watching as its head slumped forward, arms limply dangling on both sides while it clutched the katana tightly on its left hand.
“You…fiend…” Black hissed while the assailant stood unfazed, snickered in huge bemusement at the former queen.
The assailant cackled happily, grinning from ear to ear whilst flashing its teeth at Black, happily staring at its new soon-to-be victim before it let out a loud cry and charged at Black, swinging the katana haphazardly and frantically while Black dodged the incoming attacks as best as she can, given with the limited space in the alley. The throbbing pain in Black’s ankle and the state of her tired legs however proved to be her disadvantage as she was only able to dodge by a few inch, feeling the force of the blade cutting through air.
The assailant took notice of Black’s weak state and lunged forward, taking a side step before twirling around, cackling insanely as it swung the katana from behind Black. Black glanced over her shoulders in wide eye horror.
The former queen tried to dodge the incoming attack. The katana only barely grazed Black’s arm however, creating a long slanting cut through Black’s tracksuit jacket. Black glanced at the damage done on her jacket then back at the ominous figure, the look of pure shock and horror instantly formed on the raven’s face.
The figure giggled, tauntingly pointing at Black while limply approaching the taller girl, dragging her katana along, scrapping the floor in the process with its sharp edges.
Black bit her bottom lip, a sense of uncertainty forming in her heart as she saw her assailant moving forward again, trying to come near her. The raven wanted to deny the thought that crossed in her head, but she couldn’t shake it off, the thought of dying right now, here at this place, at this bloody alley.
‘Am I going to get killed now…?’
‘Just oh so easily without even a fight?’
Black gritted her teeth in anger, tears slowly forming on her eyes as she watched the malevolent figure of her assailant stepping closer and closer, walking forward into the light as it stepped out of the shadows, revealing its whole form.
Black’s eyes widened; the former queen’s expression mortifying from irritation and rage into pure ghastliness and shock at the figure of a young shorter and pale frail looking girl in front of her.
It was atrocious and insane…just how fate was playing with her.
It was utterly cruel…
The shorter girl giggled, gazing at Black with lifeless mocking eyes, speaking words of which Black wished she had never wanted to hear and be told off at that moment.
“Ne…”
“Okkotteru…?”
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End of Part VIII
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A/N: That.....ends Part VIII of Chinmoku! Cliffhanger is a cliffhanger, sorry~ :lol: I gave full focus on this part, basically because its important...lol, and the next part will be just as important, I think?
Anyways, see you guys around, thank you for reading. :cathappy:
I hope I still have some readers left in the next part... >___<llllll
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Aww. Black would go that far for Gekikara. (*´；ェ；`*) So caring of her even if she was the one that… sldflksdf </3
Aaa. ~ the bloody scene. The bloody scene. ~ Raining blood, yay ~ !
But poor Black though. </3 Smelling all the blood isn’t something nice to be smelling especially after all the running she had to do. ; x;)
Even though she couldn’t keep her eyes away at least she mans it up and dealt with the gruesome and bloody scene! ; AA;)
Wonder if that scene is going to traumatize her for life... (◎-◎ ) ;;;
Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuun. (,,#ﾟДﾟ) Can Black really fight against Geki? Will she let herself get beat by Geki.
Will Geki come back to her senses? Askdjlsad. </3 You tease. Making us think the chapter was the last chapter.
Well, at least we get to see more of your awesomeness chapters of Black x Geki. (〜￣▽￣)〜
Bro, thanks for your updates! Can't wait for the next one. * o*)
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OMG ..Geki...and her katana? So cool..!! Lol
But...but..geki...she killed some people...hey.. Where's the Police?
The next update will so bloody scene...
This is really black resposibility for making geki like this...
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:bow:Sieka san, thank you for the update.
:cry:Oh no Gekikara is going to far. Fighting is okay but killing on the other hand don't usually lead to a happy ending :cry:
I would hate it if Gekikara broke her promise for Yuko and hurt Black in this state >< I hope a miracle happened. I hate sad ending T_T
I'm happy to read whatever you'd write though so I'm not worry too much about what would happen after Chinmoku. Just write whatever you feel like when you have time Sieka san and I will read it ^^
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LOL my imaginary moustache will appear again when i need to think deeply ! *nod nod*
ROFL if you're gonna draw me a moustache then id like some fancy one :D
oh ho ho well if its pure mayhem it wont be suitable for the youn'uns anymore :P
HOORAH TO SIEKA-SAN!! BLOOD AND GORE IS HERE! im amazed at how far gekikara got before black found her...and black practically using all of her energy up before she found her in that unknown alleyway is just wow...
gekikara even had time to butcher the poor unlucky person that got in her way :smhid and the use of the katana :panic: deadly indeed ! i dont want to ever be near her if she loses control like that *shivers*
GEKIKARAS ATTACKING BLACK! DANGER DANGER! she has lost all senses and its only up to black to save her D: but but can she do it in that weakened state of hers?! ooohh all these questions are flooding into my head! i sound like im commentating LOL
thanks for the update! cant wait till the next part :D :twothumbs
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So much gore!!! :nya: SO MUCH WIN!!! :on GJ:
I just love how you wrote the scene! It was so detailed and I could perfectly imagine it! You're so awesome! I love it! I REALLY REALLY LOVE IT!
I love how Rena dropped the katana on the body! So much gore and bleeding!!! :on bleed: I like what Gekikara-sama did to her surroundings. It was so cool! But...Rena-sama/Gekikara-sama is going to kill Black. She already asked her the question 'are you mad' and she can't think clearly!!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! :on blackhole: :on blackhole: :on blackhole:
Rena-sama!!! Don't kill Yukirin! Just kill others and then you'll be free! You love her! But...Love can bring deep hatred. But RENA-sama can never hate Yuki-san!!! AAAH!!!! :panic: :panic: :panic:
I wanna see more killing...but...I don't want Rena-sama to kill Yuki-san. :on speedy:
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@oddball - You never fail to amaze me. To be honest, I think you are my favorite reader, you just make the best comments ever. :)
Yeah, oddy is my most favorite reader too!
But I must warn you Sieka-san, oddy is a crazy fan.... :mon psst:
If you dare killing Kashiwagi Yuki (or Black) in your fic, then oddy will haunt you down, and I can't imagine what he will do to you, Sieka-san.....
He's a crazy fan, tsk, maybe even crazier than Geki... :lol:
Oh...I gotta run now, before oddy catch me and shoot me...... :mon trudge:
Thanks guys for the compliments, as I say it works both ways, the your stories are good which makes it alot easier to comment on them!
don't worry Sieka your fine and I'm not that crazy........ Anzai on the other hand................ :on voodoo:
anway on to the chapter!
It seems as though Black has come to her decision with Geki, it seems as though she is willing to accept those feelings she had for Geki and not to be afraid by them anymore.
But we know that even if Balcj asked Geki to 'wait for her' it seems as though maybe Blacks decision came too late, It seems as though Black senses that something is wrong too, the way she is running around trying to find Geki, something that is usually not that hard for her, causes Black more concern as she goes along, even parying on her rosary that Rena is safe...
Again here we see Black using Rena, perhpas now more important that ever as it might well be 'Rena' who she is now trying to save from 'geki' as it were and when she finds that alley and sees the carnage, see senses that Geki was there, even though she wished it wasnt I think deep down she new it was Geki all along.....
and then when that person is killed infront of Black, she is truly shocked and scared, this is something that Black would never do, even murder is bad but something so brutal is totally sickening to her, she grabs her rosary for comfort and perhpas maybe now we see Geki's 'Vision' of the rosary and the blood, or at least we see those elements coming together here, it seems as though it will happen when she is attcked, especially in her wekend state and we see Black's final, and most horrifying realisation of all, that her darkest fears are correct, it is Geki with the sword.......
awesome! :twothumbs
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Oh oh I hope it will be a happy end. Please tell it will be a happy end
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This isn't an update, it's Kiriban time people! :lol:
Thank you for 4000+ and 5000+ pageview! Kiriban at 4000+ and 5000+ achieved!!
This time this Kiriban special is a.............shot! Oh yeah, it's still being written though, but I have a preview for you guys of what it would be, as well as the title! I'm also writing Chinmoku Part IX while doing this special shot, I might release it after Chinmoku or before Chinmoku, depends....
Anyways...before we go to the preview, which I'll place in a separate post, gonna reply first to all the comments from Chinmoku Part VIII. I have to say, thank you to those 8 wonderful people who gave me their thanks and to those who commented, thank you very much for staying with me! But no, Chinmoku will not end yet...geez... :sweatdrop:
Replies:
@altoids - Hey Mint-chan! :cathappy: Yeah, Black is caring, but she's also guilty anyways... :lol: So I believe it's just right that she does go through that much...~
Lol, do you love blood? :sweatdrop:
I don't think blood will have any effect on Black, although it will make you a bit dizzy and slightly tensed, because when smell blood.....there's another meaning next to it, and that would be death, or something near to that word. :lol:
Man up? Black's a girl! XD XD Joke~ I got what you mean...anyways, let's see whether Black get's a traumatized by that. 8)
That's a lot of questions dude, something which I can't answer, mah, just wait for the next part, it'll answer those questions. I'm sorry for teasing? It wasn't intentional? *whistles innocently*
@kurogumi - The police is.......hahaha, that question will be answered in the next part. Can't say it. ;) Yeah, I Black's really responsible for making Geki like that, she should repent her sins and get killed instead you know... >: *gets shot by the readers*
@dukkong - Do you think Black and Geki will ever get a happy ending now that Geki killed someone? I think that percentage is very low.... Ehhh, please don't hate Geki, she's just........out of her mind and she's really depressed and desperate. Oh thank you! :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow: I hope you will like the next fics I'll write. :)
@Pandah - Oh...so I don't need to draw a moustache huh, but if I do, I'd probably draw a hat and a bow on the moustache to make it fancy~ :lol: :lol: :lol:
...Yeah, I know, it won't be suitable at all for the younger ones.....I really should try to restrain myself from going too far into the dark... *looks away*
Ehh? Hoorah for me? I shouldn't be getting a reaction like that because of blood and gore!!! :err: :lol:
There's actually a time interval between it, actually hours passed by, that's why Gekikara had a lot of time in order to do that, while Black herself was searching around town, I mean like every nook and cranny of the town that's why she's completely exhausted since I do think that Black's stamina is just like any normal human athlete's stamina level. Lol, anyone who goes near Gekikara will instantly meet death if ever she has something as sharp as a katana.... :sweatdrop:
Commentator Pandah-chii, what do you think will happen next?! Will Black get butchered herself? Looks like we will find that out in the next part!! :twisted:
@karomuwi - You are undeniably a sadist it seems, karomuwi-san... I don't mind though, at least I have an ally here... :kekeke: Blood and gore is just so awesome, add Gekikara and everything's so PERFECT! :farofflook:
Your panicking! Get a hold of yourself! :sweatdrop: Ahh but true, who wouldn't panic when Black's facing death? Look's like.....the premonition Geki saw will come true huh.....ahahaha, in her own use of hands it seems? :lol:
@anzai48 - I love you for the long comment! :bow: :bow: :bow: :bow:
I too want a BlackGeki showdown fight, why didn't they do that in MG? :sweatdrop:
Consequences, oh consequences, will you haunt me until my sleep? Leave me restless until I face my death? Who knows, maybe Geki will forever remain restless because of what she did, she might as well........face justice.
Black's timing is mostly bad and yes, there would be no doubt that Black will be blaming herself for Geki's actions, because she is Geki's guardian as of that moment, it is her responsibility to check after Geki. :lol:
You know.....if Black let Geki beat her up, she'd die in Geki's hands, since Rena is holding onto a katana and all.... :err:
You can hurt her? EHHHH!! Geki isn't supposed to hurt Black! is what I want to hear from you... :sweatdrop:
I mean, if you love someone and treasure them, why do you need to hurt them? But yeah, killing them would be far too much though. :lol:
You're such a sadist, like karomuwi-san, anzai-san~ :heart:
Yep, I'm the author and I can do what I want, even killing Black off right away....hehehe, just wait for the next part and hope that Black won't get killed though~ ;)
Black isn't only exhausted, she's hurt too in the process...it wasn't obvious though, but it's not like Black can't take the pain anyways. How long, is the real questions here....something that I want to know myself. :lol:
It wasn't mentioned, but yes, Black has a baby-boy here, it's yet to be mentioned though.....lol, basically because I intended not to mention him, but he'll definitely be mentioned.
Thank you as well because I saw your's and you mentioned me there too. :bow:
@oddball - Oh really? Thank you... Ahaha, looks like anzai-san needs to watch her back a little more......... :lol: Or maybe I should do so as well?
Black did ask Geki to wait for her, even though it was only by her thoughts, but Geki doesn't know that Black intended to follow her....so as you can see, Geki's rather unstable and is killing people right off the bat because she lost hope over Black after what she did, and because of her past.
Wew, that's a nice theory, Black wanting to save 'Rena' from 'Geki'. Nice idea~ :twothumbs
Mhmm...looks like Geki's vision is incorporating well here to be honest, I didn't really think it would go through, but yeah, looks like Black has every right to be fearing for her life and for what will transpire, basically because Geki's holding onto something dangerous and sharp, and it can kill her instantly if she screws up..........ahh, but yeah, I do have a feeling that Black knows that it's actually Gekikara who did all those blood stains because no one else can do it as savagely and horrendous as Geki can. :glasses: :bigdeal:
@kahem - Can't tell you whether it would be happy. Sorry...keep the fate alive though! :cathappy:
Thanks to everyone again for the comments!
Next post will be the preview of the special shot. :cathappy:
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A/N: Preview of Kiriban Special Shot! Hope you guys enjoy this... Chinmoku will be updated again, in a later day, sorry. :sweatdrop: Replies for Chinmoku Part VIII are above, just scroll up and you'll see it. :)
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Sacrificial Ritual
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Preview
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Deep inside the forest lays a village that was isolated from the other nearby villages. This particular village was said to be sacred, yet at the same time, it also happened to be cursed. However, even though some say that that was its state, this village was blessed in abundance and beauty; it was as if the deities give praise and glory over the well-cultured fields and nurtured soils of this village.
This village was known throughout for its beauty and ethereality that travelers and tourists sought after it, yet it was hard to enter it all together even with its popularity as many villagers have forsaken other people from entering any further from the sacred gates of the village. It was not that they did not want to share off the beauty of their village; it was not that case at all.
There was a secret inside the village itself that lied in the darkness; it was a secret that was fought to be remained forever hidden from the prying eyes of people from outside, it was not something that any outsider should know, nor learn off, it was something that only the villagers themselves should shoulder upon, even though as fear and sorrow marred their faces as they stare down upon the ground in shame and hopelessness.
They themselves knew the severity of this secret that they hid, but there was not anything that they could do about it. They were just as helpless as any person severed off their limbs or are impaired. That was how much their situation was, and nothing was going to change it. Even if they could not stomach the cruelty of the acts that they performed, there was no other option but to resort to it.
The it of which they referred to was a sacred ritual, a ritual of which no one can stop, a ritual that would remain and continue throughout the years.
A sacrificial ritual.
It was inevitable, but this ritual had to be done on consecutive years in order to appease the spirits and to calm down the pain and anguish of the mourning dead and even though it was the least of what the villagers wanted, they could not deny it, even if they wished for it as there was no other way in order for them to calm the spirits of the abyss.
It was a cruel ritual, yet a ritual that had to be done, there was no other option, there was no other way out. That was the very reason why…the village was cursed.
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End of Preview
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A/N: What do you guys think? The title itself is giving out an ominous aura itself...are you guys scared? :lol: Anyways, I hope you enjoyed that little sneak peek, see you guys around. :)
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Unreadable comments up there? WELL THATS HOW MY BRAIN RITE NOW OMG SIEKA-SAN YOU KILL ME LIKE SRSLY WTF DID YOU DRAW I CANT STOP BLUSHING :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: :banghead: Ahhhh i need blood....so much losing blood...
>>> http://i.imgur.com/hKIgb.jpg (http://i.imgur.com/hKIgb.jpg)
finally ive managed finish reading Chinmoku till your latest update *panting after doing such marathon reading* :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
i dunno how to comment to be honest...i just dont know where to comment from the start. gomeeen~ :bow: :bow: but i really really love your chinmoku and i read some of your extras, i mean like Stay By My Side and such :lol:
but from now on i'll follow your update and comment properly, promise! *offer pinky*
ps: good luck for our May :peace:
ps2: Cant wait for KinjiAi :bow:
ps3: i repost your fanart to my tumblr cause it has my name and i put credits on you XD
ps4: thanks for the fanart and OMG IM STILL BLUSHING, be responsible Sieka-san :lol:
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'ello, Sieka-san. o uo Hnn. Yeah. At least she's going to take responsibility of what she did! ; w;
So she's not all that bad. Aa, at least that much.. </3
Anymore punishment I might just attack you. = u= Yuki is already suffering enough! D:
Actually no... Geki is. </3
Hahaa. Of course. But I'm not that in love with blood that I want to drink it. lol xD ;;;
It's just amusing to see blood... sometimes. = w=)/ *maybe that's just me*
the smell gets to everyone. ;; when there's like a massive blood spill. ; w;
yet Black is consider a Death Verdict. </3 .. but... hnngh. well, death isn't a pretty sight. 8l ;;
Psssh. You know what I mean! D": ... = 3= ... don't make me pull out a shovel and do the same what you try to do. xP *wants to know now!* D:
bleh. :P .... GAH! I'm getting the shovel. *goes off to get shovel*
Lies, that was totally intentional! ; ww;
Le gaspa! o no The forbidden and curse village of doom!
askdsa! How many people must they kill just to calm the spirits? </3
But but... gah! surprised that they village still living if they had to sacrifice people just to calm the spirit.
Do they sacrifice the person so they spirit can feed on their soul!? D: Though... every sacrifice leads to creating new spirits, right? D:
So there is just going to be more angry spirits. ; n;
What will happen if they don't? Would like spirits go take form of something and bring chaos? Yay chaos! *cough cough*
I'll stop with the questions. </3
Thanks for the update bro! > w> Hope to see the full version of the shot and the next chapter of Chinmoku. ~ ;P
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Sieka-san.. i just finished one hour to read all those fic in this thread.. and
I don't know how to comment this fanfic (Chinmoku) i'm just speechless..
I can't expressed the mixed emotions in my mind that caused by Chinmoku..
you're truly a genius writer! :bow:
it's full of angst.. and love?
I can see the neurotic side of Rena.. and the self-harted in her.. it's kinda depressing..
also the bipolar personality in herself.. that made me want to help her. :on hypto: LOL
i also love to see Yuki.. she can move on from her dark past..
winning over her shadow and move on~
seriously, my brain is not functioning well, right now..
too many things in my mind. LOL
the kiss scene.. Rena self-harted.. Yukirin's past.. anything!
and i've been wondering what will Rena do with the katana.. :scared:
i hope they'll be alright..
i can foresaw that either Rena or Yuki (or both!) will died in the next chapter..
Yuki will died because Rena can't recognize her anymore, and the result is Rena killed Yukirin.. (Yuki died, Rena lives, but she'll become a monster since she doesn't have any sanity left in her.)
or Rena will suicide because she realized what has she done to Yukirin (killed her, hurt her, anything).. (Rena died, Yuki lives)
or.. after Yuki saw Rena kill herself, she'll suicide too. (both of them died)
sorry for this comment.. i don't know.. as i said before.. my brain is not functioning well after reading Chinmoku. LOL
and i'll wait for your updates :D
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A/N: Gonna place this update for Sacrificial Ritual, this shot will be long, not as long as Chinmoku, just about two or three parts long. Chinmoku is still being written sorry...?
Replies:
@LeNosferatu - Oh yes! I finally got you! :lol: *happily celebrating* I finally got you! But I'm still not done with my revenge! :twisted:
Lol, you read everything posted in this thread it seems though, I can't blame if your head isn't functioning after reading all the crap in this thread. :sweatdrop:
Yep! Good luck to us in May. :(
Be patient for KinjiAi please... :P
Lol, I saw you repost it. :lol:
I won't be responsible, you're the one who looked at it after all.....not my fault~ ;)
@altoids - At least she does, and she isn't gonna run from it. o wo) Eh? Why attack me? Is it that bad to make them suffer? I mean....surely karomuwi-san likes it when I make them suffer.......ehh, is it really that bad that you want to attack me? D:
Of course I know you won't like blood, unless your a vampire. ;3
I think their being exaggerated over the Death Verdict thing, if Black were to ever kill someone, she would have been held back along with Geki. :lol: Team Hormone was just exaggerating, rather, everyone is. :lol:
Please be patient, at least I'm not digging a big hole on yours! D:
I hope you dig up a coffin instead. ;3
It wasn't intentional. (ou o *looks away*
Normally in a sacrifice, there is a certain amount that's given in sacrifices, it can be one, two or at least about ten, but not a whole pact of villagers dude....... :sweatdrop: The number of sacrifice that is needed here is something that I'm hiding, I won't tell you guys yet. The purpose for the sacrifice........is a secret. ;3 Can't answer those questions dude, that will spoil the story itself. </3
@bochang - One hour? OAO It just takes one hour to read everything in this thread? I'm shocked. llllorz I'm not a genius writer, I'm a failure. :lol: I'm glad though that you see something and feel something after reading it. :lol:
You think they'll die? Or rather, both of them dying? I think its the influence of the one-shot you wrote in your thread. =w=lll
But mah, that could happen, maybe.....~ :heart:
S'lright, come back again when your brain is functioning properly. :3
@anzai48 - I finally did! Now I only need to get my revenge on you and my life is perfect~ :roll: I'm already dead you know, I'm a ghost, haunting this thread~ :lol:
Lol, so its getting exciting because its dark and tragic? Why do I have so many sadists in my thread? I see like five of you guys you know. :lol: Just read through the story, you'll know the pairing.......won't spoil it, and I won't place it either. :lol:
Thank you to those who gave me their thanks and commented. Let's get this update on, I won't say anything any further but enjoy! :sweatdrop:
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Sacrificial Ritual
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Part I
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Dark and ominous, that was how a secret is in reality, whether little or big, a secret could become harmful, just based on what was being kept away from prying eyes and ears. It’s only natural in human nature to hide, to have this sort of secrecy between each other, it wasn’t for the lack of trust, but basically, secrets were made to hide the impurities or the faults that lay bare in the open.
It was normal to hide secrets, it was normal to keep away things that you don’t want to people to know, but there always lies a couple or so more of the consequences that would often rear its head in the aftermath, yet we still keep things hidden.
It’s not because of the lack of trust, but because of the moral that you’ll loss, not only that, the things that are often hidden in the darkness are usually secrets that were often too heavy or too deep to be known, secrets like that aren’t to be taken lightly, as they often have misfortune and disaster embedded.
Just what kind of secrets are they though?
There were various types of answers for that kind of secrets, and those answers come with great quantity and unbelievable contents, any ordinary person would shrug away from something as that though, but some try to pry further even though it’s needless, even though the attention is unwanted.
Some secrets were intended to be buried six feet or more below the ground, but secrets were often passed down to other people in order to keep the tradition going, just like that of the ritual in a certain village.
This certain ritual had been there, almost just a few years after the village was established. It was ritual that many feared and disliked, but it was undeniably a process of which would keep them safe, a process that appeases and soothes the pain and torment of the spirits that lay dormant and hidden away inside the village.
It was a sacrificial ritual, a ritual of offering a life in order to atone the sins of others and to please the deities.
It was a cruel process, something which should be needless, something which wasn’t supposed to be necessary, but it became a part of the village, in a rather shady way.
Not many would want to talk about it, often shying away from the conversation concerning the ritual because it was forbidden to talk of it, as it was not normally supposed to be discussed due to the ritual being often bound towards the malicious and tormented spirits in the abyss that lies deep under the village. Not only that, the ritual itself was a deed done only at times of nearing calamity and mayhem, it was used to oppress the evil and keep the gates of hell from opening and releasing the spirits from its prisons.
Yet even though with its good cause, it was hard to stomach, it was hard to make a sacrifice, to take away a life and give as an offering. It was a gruesome process that the villagers themselves could not stomach but they fought against their wills and wishes to fight back this only way, even if they suffered the consequences afterwards, even if they knew that they would be the ones to be partly blamed, they had no choice.
There were no other options but to make a sacrifice.
It was cruel and disheartening, but there was no other way.
This year, it was to happen once more, the ritual of sacrifice, but the sacrifice was not just a randomly chosen person from inside the village; there was a special selection for it as the process itself was sacred and dangerous.
The sacrifice themselves were special; they were born as a gift, a blessing, entwined with heaven themselves and yet the most sickening of it was that of the process of how the sacrificial ritual would undergo as the entitled people to undermine this process wasn’t just for one person alone. Moreover, being the ones chosen to do the deed was utmost heartbreakingly painful, learning that fact was hard, in a guilt-stricken way.
Yet no one can deny it.
No one can go against it.
Not even the chosen ones can escape this process and neither can the villagers nor the village can escape this accursed process. This year, this process was again to be done, that was inevitable, yet necessary in order to redeem the previous failed attempt of the sacred sacrificial ritual from last year’s attempt…
The darkness itself was foreshadowing, unknown to the villagers, nor to the head-chief, as the night grew cold and silent, almost distant and dormant, yet beautiful and ethereal.
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Warm and humid, that was how the climate was that afternoon. The sun lit up the skies and shined throughout the day, shining like the ever-brilliant star it had always been, gracing the lands and plants with its warmth and light. It was a beautiful afternoon with a perfect weather; everyone was out of their houses, doing their tasks, people scattered all over the places, working or making distant noises of joy and clattering as the day went on.
The children themselves played in the streets happily; running after one another in a game of tag and on the other side of the town plaza, there was a small group of girls in kimonos, just near the riverbanks. The group of teenage girls idly talked in leisure silence with smiles creeping into their faces as they giggled and whispered of secrets and gossips, a normal occurrence that frequently happens every now and then.
Everything was peaceful and calm; it was perfect almost in that village, yet it was still undeniable that it was a village that is tainted in deep crimson blood, a village where a deep dark secret lies, only which will lay at rest in the aftermath of the process.
Everyone was aware of it, yet they try to heed no attention to it, knowing that if they bothered even to think of it, it would just loom forever in their minds, haunting them even as they rest into oblivion. Forgetting the ritual itself was a hard task and a problem, much less, if you were the one who was in-charge of dealing with the whole process up to the initial performance.
‘If only this ritual did not exist…’ The middle-aged man sighed and frowned, sadness welling in his eyes as he stared at the happy scenery in front of him with his arms crossed in front of his chest. The man wore a completely tired expression, bags forming under his eyes as he held the scripture in his hands, scanning the whole area with deep sadness and fear.
This year was the most dreadful time again, the year of which they would attempt to do the sacred ritual. Although the middle-aged man did not want to proceed in to doing it again, it was necessary as last year’s attempt had failed rather bitterly, causing the abyss to rumble with small tremors and quakes.
The man knew that they were in trouble if they did not proceed, but the thought haunts him as he had watched the ritual unfold in front of him for many years of succession. To witness another one in the making was something that would leave him restless for many months to come, especially after witnessing his own daughters going through the ritual themselves.
“I wish we could just think of another way and stop this…”
“I also wished for that …but I’m afraid that we have to proceed yet again with the ritual.” A voice from behind the middle-aged man said, softly and calmly, but with a hint of sadness and dread in his voice, startling the chief from his lonesome thoughts. The head chief turned his head to his side and peeked from over his shoulder before nodding, acknowledging the other man’s presence before he turned back to look in front.
“It’s a bitter fact to be honest, but I wished that we could have done something better than just sacrificing. I don’t want to see any more people going through the same procedures as what my own daughters have endured. It would be far too much to push another set of people into the task.” A sigh in exasperation escaping from the chief’s lips while his shoulders slumped, using a nearby wooden pillar as a support, he leaned onto it and closed his eyes, massaging his temple as he felt his head aching.
“…Akimoto-sama, but we have no more other options left, nor would time wait for us any further…” The other man said, his voice becoming quieter, almost a whisper even as he said the remaining words while clenching his hands into tight fists. The eldest of the two noticed the other man’s trembling fists and mere looked away, nodding curtly, yet stiffly before he gazed into the distance, looking blankly at the beautiful landscape of their village with emotionless eyes.
“I know that we don’t have any other options, but I wonder…”
“Why is it that you can speak oh so lightly of going further and doing the ritual Yuusuke-san?” The chief asked, arching a brow up as he glanced at the younger man, watching him from the corner of his eyes while the man simply shook his head and bowed his head down before he whispering is reply:
“Do I seem to speak of it that lightly? I’m sorry if I do, but I myself find it hard to be honest Akimoto-sama…I don’t want to sacrifice anyone to keep this village safe, but if we don’t do this now, what will happen to us? The very thought of it just scares me, Chief.”
“Believe me Yuusuke-san, everyone, even the other family heads have been dreading for these, but are you alright with this? You are the head priest of the shrine after all…are you still able to stomach this?” The head village chief, Akimoto asked, sending the young priest a worried look as he watch the man bit his bottom lip and ran his hand through his hair, gazing at the floor with pain evident in his eyes.
“I’ll be fine, don’t worry Akimoto-sama, what matters most for me is everyone’s sake.”
“Very chivalrous as always…aren’t we Yuusuke-san? However, do not over exhaust yourself and rest as much as possible. It would do you no good to harm your own health.” The chief cracked a smile, forcibly letting out a boisterous chuckle as he pushed himself off the pillar, walking towards the young priest before patting his shoulder, showing evident support at the startled man.
The priest merely blinked in surprise, his mouth gaping a bit before he immediately snapped out of his stupor, smiling at the head chief, answering back shortly afterwards, “Yes Chief, thank you for your concern, I’ll do just as you say.”
“Good to know then.”
“Ah… But before I forget…have you talked to the Takahashis and Maedas about these matters?” The chief asked with a certain tone of authority and seriousness. It made the priest purse his lips into a tight line as he merely nodded, rubbing his arms as he kept himself calm. The priest glanced away, staring at a distance, or more preferably, at the koi pond just near them before he replied:
“I have, and I also received their collected information, the only thing that we are bound to do now is to simply inform the new sacrifices and arrange all the other routines before the ritual itself…”
“I see, I’ll leave it to you to inform the new participants then…or would you like me to ask Oshima-san instead to break the news for you, since you’ve been doing the announcement yourself for as long as I have known.” The head chief graciously offered, watching as the priest expression morphed into an unreadable expression, as it held no emotion at all, not even in his dark obsidian eyes. Akimoto raised a brow, seeing the priest looking almost hesitant for a second before it immediately disappeared as if it had never appeared at all, smiling at him kindly, yet almost forced and stiff.
“It’s fine. I can do it myself, Akimoto-sama.”
“…Yuusuke-san, don’t force yourself, your daughters will be worried about you.”
“I’m fine, really. I need to do this job because this is what a head priest does.” The priest sighed once more, shrugging his shoulders. The chief shook his head and furrowed his brows, a frown marring his face.
“Be it duty or not, I don’t want you to get traumatized. It would be hard for me if anything were to happen to you as the guilt in my heart is already far too large.”
“My apologies and condolence Chief, I know you still haven’t moved on after Sayaka-sama’s death and Sae-sama’s sudden disappearance, and yet I’ve come and placed another burden in your shoulders.” The young priest looked down, ashamed; closing his eyes as he let the chief’s words sink into his mind, he knew what exactly was it that the head chief wanted to say to him, and he felt grief and pain flood his senses as he remembered the failed ritual from last year’s attempt. The memory itself never left his mind.
“It’s alright. It’s my job to see everything through, but frankly, I wished I showed my appreciation and love more to my own daughters, I’ve regretted not being with them and choosing my work over them.” Akimoto mumbled, a small bitter smile forming on his face as he continued to talk, “I’ve learned from that lesson, that’s why I don’t want that to happen to you. So please, think of your family more before your job Yuusuke-san. You’ll never know how long they’ll be around.”
Yuusuke smiled almost guiltily as he stared at the wooden floor, fumbling the hem of his sleeves as he realized just how very true and cruel the older man’s words were.
The young priest merely watched the chief turn his attention away from him and back into the distant gardens as the two of them let silence wander back in the middle of their presence, barely whispering a hushed reply in a meek voice, something which carried an air of depression and hopelessness.
“Yes…Chief, I know…”
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Empty and silent, with only footsteps echoing throughout the hallway, a beautiful young girl in red kimono walked passed a room, entering it almost briskly, looking around before turning back again and entering another room with a small frown on her face.
The girl had a beautiful face, soft porcelain skin, expressive obsidian black eyes; her bangs were cut neatly in a straight cut and her silky hair was jet black, straight and long, just like a princess’ and it flowed just past her shoulders. The kimono itself leveled the young teen’s beauty as it covered and framed the young one’s figure in red soft clothes, patterned with cherry blossom petals. Overall, the raven was no doubt beautiful and angelic, even as a scowl dominated the young girl’s face, almost cutely even.
She looked frustrated, and a bit annoyed, both her hands on her hips as she pouted cutely. She had been looking around the house for quite a long time, seeking her beloved sisters in order to catch them as they had played a little game, whilst while their parents were away due to their jobs.
It was momentarily fun when it had started, but when the game lasted for more than a few minutes, much to her distaste, she could not help but feel a sudden pang of loneliness and irritation as the house turned silent, almost deafening to the ears. She could not even see anyone insight, not even a sliver of anyone’s shadow as she searched the entire house for her sisters and it bothered her, something which worried her immensely.
She started searching frantically then after, going over all the places she had went through and checked every small places, calling out her sisters names as she did so, but to her own immense disappointment and growing worry, no one answered back, and no one was still insight.
The girl paced back and forth in the open hallway, a hand over her mouth, biting her nails as she tried hard to fight the urge to panic and run out of the house. This was not exactly the first time that it happened anyways, but it still left her feeling anxious.
“Where could they be…? Did they leave the house?”
“But I didn’t hear the entrance door open though…” She mumbled to herself, panting as she tried to regain her breathing pattern whilst lost in the depths of her thoughts while her feet carried her towards their traditional garden, walking past over the small built-in bridge above a large koi pond as she looked around her surroundings, hoping to get a glimpse of someone’s figure.
“Where are they?” She clicked her tongue, slumping her shoulders as she sat done on a small rock, slightly exhausted from the walking and searching she had been doing for the past few minutes. The raven pouted glumly while maintaining the scowl on her face, using her hands to cradle her chin.
“They must have left me alone in this house huh…?” The young raven puffed her cheeks and sighed, muttering the words in dejection, the thought itself was strong and left her feeling depressed and rejected, her two other sisters were close to one another after all, they were mostly together, ever since their youngest sister was born.
Her other sister would often dote on her, placing much more attention to the youngest sibling, that it made the raven envious of the attention that their sibling was getting, but even though she did want to protest against it, what was she to do anyways? It was not that she could just ask for everyone to have their attention on her, that would be too selfish of her, and as the eldest sister, she had the biggest responsibility, she had to be mature, she had to do her job, as a part of the heiress of the Kashiwagi clan.
It did not mean that she didn’t have the right to get jealous over something as petty as that though, seeing as how her family had been noticing her lesser and lesser. She would not protest over that, knowing that her parents were busy with their jobs in the village and that her younger sister was busy taking care of their youngest sibling. She would not let her selfishness get the best of her, even though sometimes she wished she could have her way.
The young raven stared at the fishes on the pond in mild interest while she kept her hand busy by toying with her raven locks, pondering over her thoughts, failing to sense the presence from behind her as it silently crept close to her.
A hand slowly reached up to the unsuspecting raven and tapped her shoulder, almost suddenly, causing the raven to jerk up from her seat and squeal, her eyes wide and mouth open wide as she jumped up and down comically, screaming.
The raven kept hopping away from the rock and was about to hide when she heard a familiar voice enter her ears. The soft giggling made the raven’s heart instantly at ease, taking away the worry and sadness, as well as the fear.
A small smile crept on her lips, almost faintly before it disappeared, hidden under a scowl as she instantly turned around to look at the perpetrator, angrily pouting at the sight of her younger twin, standing just a few meters behind her, giggling at her with tears leaking from the corner of her brown eyes.
“Mou! Don’t surprise me like that…!” She puffed her cheeks, gazing at her younger twin as she wiped the small beads of tears off the corner of her eyes before grinning.
“Sorry…you looked quite sad there for a moment, I thought I needed to do something to ease your mood Nee-san.”
“So surprising me is your solution? I would have started running away if I hadn’t known that it was you…” The eldest twin sighed, placing a palm on her cheek with an undoubting glare casted upon her younger twin, whom merely shrugged and smiled innocently.
“I’m sorry, it worked though didn’t it? Also…”
“You looked extremely cute when startled though Nee-san.” The youngest twin said in between giggling while she placed a dainty hand over her mouth, covering her lips as she chuckled at the ever-changing expression of her elder sister that amused her to no end.
The raven merely gazed at her sister, dumbfounded with her words while a small red tint made its way up to her cheeks and gave it a rosy flush. The older girl immediately looked away and gazed at the tree instead as she hid her embarrassment, as well as her flushed cheeks from her younger twin’s sight.
“I…I won’t let you off that easily! Besides, you and Jurina made me worried you know, I thought you two disappeared…”
“A-Ah…”
“I’m sorry Nee-san…we didn’t mean to make you worried. We were just hiding upstairs though, and when you searched up, me and Jurina hid in the closets before changing positions once you left……erm.” The younger raven explained, her voice growing weaker and weaker when she saw her sister’s brows twitching and her glare intensifying.
“Rena…Where’s Jurina?” The raven asked coldly without meaning to, making her sister let out a small yelp, shivering as her older sister’s expression, scaring her to the point that she was trembling slightly. She looked away, fidgeting under the raven’s pressuring gaze as she answered meekly, “…U-Up stairs…sleeping.”
“I see…” The eldest of the two nodded before turning around with her arms crossed, her back facing the younger girl’s face, making Rena uncomfortable.
Had she gone too far? She pondered on that small thought in her head. She had never seen the older girl act this way to her after all, maybe she had went far as to play a bit and fool her sister, but they were playing after all…
Rena barely even ever had the chance nor time to play with her sister as the older girl would often be busy with some tasks, and even if Yuki was free, Rena herself had her hands full with their youngest sister, Jurina, whom was currently eight years old, ten years younger than both of her and Yuki.
It was her task to take care of their younger sibling, considering the fact that both of their parents were out and working. Sometimes she wished she had more time to spend with her other half as they had done before when they were little.
Although they did talk from time to time, it rarely ever happened and the interval of the conversation would often be either after days or after a week before she has another conversation with Yuki. It was sad, considering how her connection with the older girl was slowly fading and rusting.
It was hard, not being able to talk to her just as hard as it was to approach the older girl, her twin sister, Yuki, when she looked so far away, so unattainable and distant from her.
It was like having been presented a rare beautiful flower yet being unable to touch it; that was how her sister made Rena feel. Although they were twins, there was a big difference between her and Yuki, it was something that always disturbed her, yet she could not place a finger on what exactly that difference was, still, it left a nagging feeling in her heart somehow.
Rena fidgeted uncomfortably as the silence grew between them, unwanted and unneeded as it felt suffocating; it made her anxious around the older raven more with the ever-present silence.
The younger twin took a deep breath in, finding the courage to muster to call the other raven’s attention, even though she stuttered her words out, “U-Umm…Yuki nee-san?”
“Hmm? What is it?” The older twin asked nonchalantly, gazing at their traditional Japanese bonsai garden in mild interest.
“Are you…angry?” The younger twin said nervously, taking a quick glance at her sister before looking down into her hands as she fiddled her fingers. The older girl perked a brow up and frowned, uncrossing her arms and turning around, gazing at her other half, only making Rena fidget more under Yuki’s intense gaze.
“Angry? What makes you—oh wait…” Yuki asked in confusion, only to cut herself off immediately after she realized something. The older girl let out a small giggle before a small smile formed on her lips; she reached up and placed a hand on top of her younger twin’s head, lightly patting her head, making Rena look up and blush at the sudden intimate gesture.
“No, I’m not angry.”
“Did I scare you? I was just getting back at you though.” A soft chuckle escaped from Yuki’s lips as she waved her hand in dismissal. Rena puffed her cheeks after hearing the older girl’s statement; she swiftly averted her eyes, staring at her feet rather than at her twin sister while she replied in a hushed voice, “You did…”
“I thought you were mad since you looked so distant. I was worried…that you might have hated me all of a sudden.” Rena mumbled the words out, her cheeks going redder as she finished her statement while she fiddled with her fingers, a habit she often does when she was nervous or anxious.
“Ah…”
“I’m sorry, I was just thinking of something…” Yuki scratched the back of her head.
“Why do you think that I would hate you though, when I don’t have any reason to hold anything against you?” Yuki asked.
“Besides that, I could never hate you. You are far too precious to me,” The raven said while she smiled softly, Yuki’s hands left Rena’s head to cup her cheeks, caressing her flushed red cheeks in a soothing circular motion while she gazed into her sister’s doubtful brown orbs.
“I love you,” Yuki murmured, muttering the words as if it was the most natural thing she could ever say.
The older girl closed her eyes and leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on Rena’s forehead before wrapping her arms around her sister’s slim waist, embracing her, something which Yuki had not done since in a long while, something which she missed tremendously. It left a nostalgic feeling to her, having her sister in her arms, just like this, it made her heart warm and fuzzy.
Yuki sighed in content, pressing her forehead onto her sister’s own, their faces only a few inches apart as she continued, “both you and Jurina are important to me. There’s no way I’ll ever hate you two.”
“So please wipe that frown off your face for me and lighten up, you look better with a smile. I’ll spend more time with you today as much as possible. Just smile for me, please?” Yuki pleaded, opening her eyes slowly as she looked into her sister’s eyes, using her best puppy-dog expression while she pouted. Rena giggled at her older sister, giving the older twin her best smile that it made Yuki’s earlier pout disappear and instead, form into a large genuine smile.
“I’d like that… It’s been a long time since we spent some time with one another after all. I’d like to stay like this and talk with you more.” Rena mumbled, leaning into Yuki’s embrace, feeling her sister’s warmth even through her kimono.
Yuki merely hummed out a reply, hugging back as she enjoyed her sister’s company before they enter back into the house and talked, anything and everything that they could talk about. It did not matter what topic they talked about, just as long as they were able to spend some time with each other, everything was fine.
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End of Part I
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A/N: I hope you enjoyed this a bit, this is just the first part, there will still be around two or three more parts...I think. Anyways, see you guys around, gotta do Chinmoku. >w<lll
Forgive me for any errors, I have yet to find a time to review for any errors, I'll go through it again and correct everything by tomorrow. It's actually 11:25pm here to be honest. >w<llll
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ooh sounds like a sexy moustache indeed 8)
I HAVE FINALLY FINISHED COMMENTING AFTER I DUNNO HOW MANY HOURS CATCHING UP! just as i was about to post this..i find that you updated LOL
haha maybe you should but its awesome how you let your imagination go loose :twothumbs
lol well i like horror..so blood and gore is all cool for me XD lolol
ooh i see i see *nod nod* yukis been in a shock for many hours...im impressed :thumbup and even without a katana or any sort of weapon you'll still meet death when you meet her :twisted:
oh oh oh....i wonder if she'll get butchered..BUT I DOUBT IT COS SHE WILL LIVE TO SAVE GEKI! AND THEY'LL LIVE HAPPILY EVER AFTER! but sadly thats not how it works since geki killed someone and im sure things are gonna get worse from here :( haha so evil! this waiting is killing my insides ! :bleed eyes:
ITS A PREVIEW! sounds kinda scary...whats with this sacrificial ritual and what for...and to whom hmmmm i can feel my imaginary moustache coming back to me :P
hahah sounds interesting though :thumbsup
*cough* well right might as well read and comment at the same time then post this err not so extra long comment :lol:
man these spirits sound evil and malicious...
AH WHAT! you killed sayaka D: and sae disappeared! and the participants...... :cry: they're gonna have it tough :(
oh no oh no...yukis the sacrifice and she hasnt had enough time to spend with rena and jurina but rena especially since shes her twin!! and now shes going to be gone D: this is just not fair for them at all :(
this ritual is definitely cruel! it breaks apart families and it turns people emo :bleed eyes: making me so sad knowing that they're gonna be separated FOREVER!
but...thanks for the update! :thumbsup
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Oh inceste?
I don't know why but I feel likeit would be a sad ending lol
Sacrifice one person in order to save the others I don't really agree with it
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The sacrificial ritual first part is..
Scary.. and fluffy?
It's kinda scary when they talked about the ritual..
i had a bad feeling about this ritual..
maybe Yu-.. Gasp! No, you wouldn't do that right?
#whatamitalking
and YukiRena is so fluffy. :D sister love.. or should i said forbidden love? hohohoh
the ending will be a tragic one.. or a happy one..
i'm so curious!!
Thx for the update seika-san! :D
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First of all, Sieka-sama... I'm sorry and deeply apologize for not commenting. :kneelbow: I would have blamed the intense heat here at my place, but I shall be truthfull...
Procrastination and Lazyness are having a party of their own in my head. :hiakhiakhiak:
Sieka-san... Please~ :ptam-shy: You calling me a sadist, makes me feel embarrass. :shy2: LOL!
And of course! Blood + Gore = GREAT
BLOOD + GORE + GEKIKARA-SAMA = Speechless due to extreme awesome-ness :hiakhiakhiak:
Well, looking at how things are....They're a bit ironic. :hehehe: I mean, Black-san is the Angel of Death verdicts (hahaha, totally made this up. Or is there an angel like that?) And Gekikara-sama is the Angel of Death.
To have the Angel of Death kill the Deliverer of Death Verdicts... :on drink: it just seems ironic to me, Sieka-san.
Okay! Onto the comments for the new fic!
Prologue: Hmm~ Such an eerie prologue. It made me want realize that it would be another AWESOME fic! I mean....To have such an eerie title and have a ritual! :ding: I knew that I have to put this in my Current Favourite Fics! It's so interesting! You wrote that it's a ritual that MUST be done in order to save the cursed village, but I have a feeling that the one to be sacrificed won't allow that to happen. :dunno: I dunno. Must be the weather affecting my instincts and such.
Oh and before I comment on the First Chapter, Sieka-san... :glasses: How cruel is this Sacrificial Ritual, may I ask? :wriggly: Is it gruesome and bloody? Or is it like stabbing and letting the sacrifice cry out in pain as it dies slowly....and drowns in their own blood? Or maybe fed to the tigers and wild animals. OR maybe.... Burnt alive? :mon lovelaff: I can't wait to find out what it is going to be!
Chapter One: Hmm~ So the priest doesn't want to sacrifice another one, huh? :on drink: That's fine with me, as long as the village is thrown into chaos. :lol: Just kidding. And I'm really excited that Takamina's and Acchan's families were mentioned! And wait...Sayaka-san was sacrificed?! :mon ghost: And Sae-kun disappeared?! Oh my! What tragedic news! :mon determined: But extremely interesting to me! :mon lol:
And why is it that only girls are sacrificed?! :mon annoy: I would enjoy having a guy scream out like a girl, but our girls have to suffer. :mon annoy: Oh well~ :bigdeal: Makes things better.
And...hooray~! Yukirin, Rena-sama and Jurina are one family! YAY~! :onioncheer: Such a nice family :mon inluv: With Yukirin getting a bit jealous because Rena is spending more time with Jurina...So cute~!
But then...After realizing that Yukirin is the eldest... A realization dawned upon me. :mon wtf: :badluck: Y-Yukirin... :on cloudeye: Is going to be sacrificed!!! :on blackhole:
And if not her, its gonna be Rena-sama! :gmon tears:
And if not the two of them...It'll be Jurina!!!
Well, it's not going to make me feel horrible if it was ten-year-old Jurina who gets sacrificed. But...since Rena is close to her...She might... :mon wind: Sacrifice herself. :mon ghost: NOOO~! :mon runcry:
And a question.... :dunno: Is this going to be incest?! :mon inluv: Because I'll love to have some YukiRena incest!
*ahem* I think that I should stop here. I'll just be spamming about my love for YukiRena incest if I dare continue. :mon sweat: Anyway, Sieka-san!
Thanks for the updates!!! Will wait for more angsty and awesome updates from you! :mon thumb: And don't worry, no pressure coming from me!
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A/N: Hey guys, no update, sorry did you expect one? ;P Don't worry, I'll post the Chinmoku immediately once I finished typing it all out, to be honest, I'm planning on making it longer than usual to fit in the scene in my head, so expect a longer update to read. :sweatdrop:
Anyways, gonna discuss somethings with Sacrificial Ritual first and then reply to the comments, the purpose of this post is to answer the questions, verify a few things and give you some information that may come handy in the next parts, I'm being kind right now, so why not? I'm not actually making any major spoiling in my story anyways, I'm just giving out hints and a few infos.....
About Sacrificial Ritual:
Basically you guys know that its about sacrificing right? The title says it all after all...
If you guys are very unwell with this kinds of theme, dark themes or about killing, I advice you not to proceed in reading any further and just stop at Part I, I wouldn't want to cause any trauma or to scare you off your pants or something just because you read this, I don't want to trigger anything either from your minds.
If you can still handle reading it though, then do read, but its on your own free will, I'm not forcing anyone to read it anyways.
Second, if anyone's noticed, Sayaka was sacrificed in the ritual right? As stated in Part I by the head chief. And to be frank, the ritual's sacrifices aren't just exclusive for females, they can also sacrifice males, there's just a particular rule in this ritual. Don't worry, you'll know when the story goes further.
Third, please remember the roles or information of the characters here, as well as the family names that are mentioned, you'll be seeing those names in the next parts to come as they have a partly major role in the story itself... So far the characters that have been shown or stated are these names:
Akimoto Yasushi - The head chief of the village.
Yuusuke - Head Priest, in charge of the ritual.
Akimoto Sayaka - Eldest sister, was sacrificed for the ritual and died in the process, she is Yasushi's daughter.
Akimoto Sae - Youngest sister, disappeared, current location unknown; Yasushi's daughter as well.
Kashiwagi Yuki - Eldest sister, heiress of the Kashiwagi clan, Rena's older twin.
Kashiwagi Rena - Middle sister, Yuki's younger twin.
Kashiwagi Jurina - Youngest sister.
Do note that Yuki and Rena are twins, yes T-W-I-N-S, they aren't just normal siblings, their born on the same month, and I know that everyone knows that when you specifically state the word 'twins'. Anyways, Yuki and Rena are eighteen here, while Jurina is basically eight years old, so the gap between them are ten years basically, if anyone doesn't know or has missed reading that information, or, misread the information itself.
Next, the family names stated here are the Takahashis, Maedas, Oshimas and Kashiwagis. Basically they are the four prominent families out of five. The Akimotos being the fifth. Do note, these families are very important themselves, just how important they are, is something you'll know in the next parts.
Another thing, everyone's basically thinking or already placing a tag on Yuki, saying that she'll be sacrificed. (ow olll) It hasn't been stated yet and there is no claims for it in Part I, Yuusuke, the head priest has yet to announce the news or even say who the next participants will be, so basically, you guys can still deny the chances of Yuki being sacrificed.
Fourth, karomuwi-san asked me whether this fic will have incest.
The answer is, I don't know, to be honest, I'm still trying to gauge my plot whether there will be one or whether I'll just focus on the ritual, who knows? Yuki and Rena might just love each other as sisters and nothing more, but to be honest, I'm fine with incest, I'm fine with reading and writing it, but whether I'll give it a chance here, who knows...I myself still don't know whether I want it to be added here or not.
Fifth, Pandah-san and karomuwi-san asked me how cruel this ritual is...and again, Pandah-san asked for what, whom and what exactly is the ritual for.
Hmm, I don't know how to answer that somehow, I guess its just cruel in a lot of different ways? But don't expect too much blood or gore, or anything graphic about it because I'm gonna tone it down, somehow, I hope.
For the ritual itself, basically this ritual is to calm the spirits lying dormant in the village, evil, malicious and tormented spirits to be exact, the whom to be offered is the spirits themselves in order to calm them and let them rest in peace and to keep the spirits from entering the village and destroying it. But what exactly the ritual is, is something I cannot disclose because that would spoil the fun. :lol:
Anyways, that's basically all that I want to say and clarify for Sacrificial Ritual. I hope I answered some questions or something...now it's time for some replies before I end this post.
Replies:
@Pandah - Hahaha, a sexy moustache fit for a Panda~ ;3
I'm sorry for updating when you were about to post your comment? Lol, at least you don't have to comment again though... XD
I want to let all my imaginations loose and do a good bloody scene, but.....yeah, need to tone it down, need to tone it down. The young ones might get scared or horrified, I don't want to cause some nightmares and all. :3"
You like horror.....so blood and gore is fine with you, I'm glad to know that, at least I don't have to be worried about doing darker themes, knowing that one reader is fine with it. Yuki isn't really completely shocked for hours...I just couldn't place the time interval, basically because it wouldn't be realistic to measure the time of how shocked she is. XPPPP
Everything's already worse, could it get any worse in the next part? Ehh......Yuki being butchered? That's...sadly possible. Ah, its not called evil, its called genius cliffhanging, because if I can't troll you guys, I can always cut off the scene and make you anticipate for it. :lol:
Sounds scary? I hope I can make it scarier......... The answers for your questions is state above. ;)
Pandah-chii, those spirits ARE evil and malicious. XD
I'm sorry for killing Sayaka and making Sae disappear?
Whether Yuki's gonna be sacrificed, isn't confirmed nor stated yet......so you can still hope that she isn't sacrificed.
Lol, so its cruel basically because it makes people emo? I'm dying from laughing here...... XD
@kahem - I don't know if it'll be incest yet......but if it does, are you against it? : o Is that feeling a gut feeling or just some kind of feeling after reading through the part? XD Seems like you don't like sacrificing huh, but as they say, will you sacrifice the lives of a thousand people just for a few lives? Of course the answer would be no, you'd sacrifice the few to save the many. XD But I understand your feelings because its quite normal to be against something like this. :3
@bochang - Scary and fluffy? Lol..... XD XD XD XD XD
They haven't even talked about the actual ritual itself or the process dude, will it scare you if they talked about that for real? X3
Again, why do you guys think Yuki will get sacrificed? I'm wondering... :huhuh
It's intended to be fluffy. *gets shot*
Sisterly love or forbidden incestuous love? Saa...who knows, I still can't decide.
Happy? Tragic? Let's see when we get to the end! XD
@karomuwi - You don't need to apologize, because to be honest, I'm quite lazy and a procrastinator too, plus, PH weather is so freaking hot, I can't think or move well........ =w=lll But thanks for trying to comment and for the emoticon filled comment. ;)
You feel embarrassed? Don't be, we're all sadists, secretly or openly in one way or another. :P
Yep, I agree, Geki creating blood and gore is fantastically wonderful and magnificent that I have no other words to express my appreciations.........but what happens if you add this:
Blood + Gore + Black + Gekikara = ?
Black is only know as the Death Verdict, but mah, if you look at it, who has the most power over the two of them? The Angel of Death? Or the Death Verdict? The Angel of Death, is Death itself, while the Death Verdict only judges people's death~♫ Having Gekikara kill Black is only righteous you know because even Death Verdicts get killed by death itself. :P
You really are a sadist aren't you? You like dark themes with blood and gore and angst.... Your head must be under the weather it seems.......but yeah, that might be possible, either the sacrifice will fight against it, escape or get killed in the ritual. There are three or four options presented for this. XD
The answer is up above about how cruel it is, but I guess all I can say is that its cruel. I can't just give out a level you know.... XD
karomuwi-san! >wwww<llll That joke is mean! XD It's mean for the villagers. XP
Yep, Sayaka is dead, Sae is missing, it basically happened half a year ago. Ehh, there's no exception to males, even boys get sacrificed......... XD But the selection is quite unique in how they pick the participants.... :LLLLLL
Such a nice family? Lol... XD
Well, to clarify things, Yuki is jealous over the attention Rena gives to Jurina, primarily because she wanted someone to give her some attention, its the attention she wants, but being the heiress, she can't always have it her way because she has her duties to do. Basically, princesses wants attention, and when they can't get it, its disaster in the making~ Just kidding. XD
Again, why do you guys think Yuki's gonna get sacrificed? It's still haven't been stated or announced by the priest who would be the participants......... ^ ^llllll
Also, while Yuki is the eldest sister, she is also Rena's twin sister.
Jurina is eight years old, ten years younger than Yuki and Rena who are eighteen in this fic.
Ehhhhh........sacrificing a kid is wrong.......if I sacrificed Jurina, when she's a kid, everyone might kill me for it. >w<llll Also, the reason why Rena's close to Jurina is because Rena has the task to take care of their younger sister while Yuki is entitled to work on the files and matters in the Kashiwagi clan. But you can say that all the sisters are pretty close to one another.
Incest? I still haven't decided.
Ehhh.....make YukiRena incest in your own fic! Like in the Akiba Family for example! XD XD XD XD XD XD
But mah, when I decide, I might or might not add incest here..................I'm still trying to measure my plot, you'll see whether there will be one when the next parts are updated. :)
It's alright to spam about your love for YukiRena incest, I'm fine with incest anyways....... >:)
Thank you to everyone's comments and thank yous!
I hope to see you again in the next updates to come! :cathappy:
Ja, see you guys around. :3
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A/N: It's update time people! >:3
First of all, I'd like to say I'm sorry for taking too long. I was busy this week with a lot of things like filing some papers for university and such, but anyways....I'd like to say, thanks to everyone for accepting Sacrificial Ritual, I just looked at all the thanks I got, and I must say, it did well rather than what I expected it to receive, I hope you give it the same treatment as what you do with Chinmoku, basically because SacRit will just be a few parts short, like about two or three parts long.
Since there's no comments, lets get this on!
Also, thanks to those who gave me their thank yous on my post earlier, its very kind of you guys, even though I just basically typed out some information on SacRit and replied to your posts.
Anyways, since there's no comments for me to reply, lets go onto the update! :cathappy:
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Chinmoku
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Part IX
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Those were words which she had not heard from a long time after their last fight, and yet, it had now resurfaced once more and sent an unbelievable amount of terror in her heart. Black never wanted to hear them, Gekikara would often use that phrase, something which the younger girl liked, but to have that phrase aimed at her, at a timing like this was something Black did not wanted at the very moment.
Black never had the younger girl tell her that, much less being the one directed with Gekikara’s violent streak. So why of all times, had it been directed to her? Black wanted to question it oh so bitterly in her own frustration, had it not been that the young queen was staring at her with an obvious deadly glint in her eyes, something that the former queen felt fear in. It was not just a normal glint, the one that Gekikara would often wear on her eyes whenever she fought in the past; it was different as it held a much more dangerous edge in it.
It was as if Black had caught a glimpse of a killer’s eyes, void of emotions or life.
It was as if, the person Black was looking at was not Gekikara, but someone else…
Just joking~♫
This is just a teaser for the next part. :P
Sorry to burst your bubbles~ :lol: :lol: :lol:
You guys just got trolled~ :rofl:
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Sieka-san!!! why?!?!? :depressed: :OMG: :err: :fainted: :frustrated: :pleeease: :tantrum: why?!?!?!
I actually thought that there was an update!!! argh!!!! :frustrated: :temper:
HOW COULD YOU TROLL AN AVID READER LIKE THAT?! *cries* I actually thought that I would get energetic, because YukiRena always fuels up my writing gauge.
And I second Haejin-oppa's you pawned us
You really did! And you even made me smile and jump while squealing oh-so-happily in my room. And then made me disappointed. *cries more* You troll!
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i don't know should i hit that thank you button or not.. since you trolled us. =="
I'm already excited when i saw you post in this thread.. I really thought that it's an update! YEAH!
but..
=="
don't know what to say.. LOL
you've pawned us. LOL
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Troll troll troll troll...
OMG!!! I cant belive i get troll twice!!
Sieka-san!!!! Aaaaaaagh!!! T.T
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Troll troll troll troll...
OMG!!! I cant belive i get troll twice!!
Sieka-san!!!! Aaaaaaagh!!! T.T
Just leave this troller alone kurogumi-san
and read my fanfic. LOL
"You must pay this Sieka-san~", I said with the warmest smile and the most poisonous tone.
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after leaving the fanfic thread for a while and now I got trolled... :panic: nevertheless, it's fun to read hahahahahahahaha. You better update fast or... :twisted: naaah, jk :D
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Hahahah! You like teasing, don't you? ^^
If you want to write something about incest I'm not against. I will also write a OS about it.
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:catglare: :catglare: :catglare: :catglare: :catglare: im glaring!
forever alone loving horror! lol GAH! you said if you cant troll you guys, you can always cut off the scene and make us anticipate it...
BUT LOOK AT WHAT YOU HAVE DONE! YOU TROLLED! rhuwfhuqi i accidently posted before i finished commenting LOL
well thats okay...sayaka prob had sae join her thats why she disappeared..or maybe she'll make a sudden appearance later in the story and FIND A WAY TO STOP THE CURSE! *shrugs*
lol yes...i just didnt make any sense at all ....its just cruel :D
BUT BLAH! THIS TEASER! need more of it D:
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This post is certainly not an update, lol, just want to comment on everyone's post...lol...before I go to bed. *currently is still laughing hard*
Replies:
@karomuwi-san - Why? Why you ask...you're the one who started this kind of trolling in your other thread, I'm just getting back at you for doing that, not that I was one of your trolled victims, but I'd like to get back at you for what you did, which I've been longing to do ever since, and now I got the perfect chance, its such a winner. :lol:
I'm sorry for trolling... *laughs* :lol:
Energetic? Because of YukiRena? You know what Chinmoku's genre is...lol, why would you get energetic over angst? :lol:
Ahahaha, again, I'm sorry, looks like I really got you, hard, it seems. :lol: :lol: :lol:
@bochang - Aw, you don't like being trolled oppa? XP Too bad, I like to be playful when I want to be. Ahahaha, but to comment again lol? How cruel oppa, are you planning on stealing my readers just because you got trolled? :lol: How exactly will you make me pay oppa? You know angst, tragedy and drama won't work on me...although if you use my OTP, it might get to me, but the same trick won't work if you do it again because I try to remember what types of trolling methods or tricks the authors have already used.... :roll:
@kurogumi - Twice? Lol, who trolled you first? XD I'm so curious who. Ahahaha, sorry though kurogumi-san. :lol:
@Spicy Sapphire - Ahahaha, and lets add another one to the list, after leaving this forum and coming back to get trolled, lol, I made you comment in my thread again, after who knows how long I haven't had a comment from you. Trolling sure works wonders. :lol:
Ahaha, I can't exactly update fast, but I do can say that I will update a rather long one. :P
@kahem - I don't know if you got trolled, just based on your reaction, it seemed like you expected it or something. XD Yes, I do love teasing, but I rarely troll, basically because I love to be a good author, just that, I wanted to trying trolling you guys for once. :cathappy:
Ohh! Incest in your OS, I want to read that! I'll look forward to it if you ever post it. :3
@Pandah - Your glaring, and I'm laughing. Lol.... :lol:
I know, I do think I've said that, but its nice to troll you guys for once....and your comment is the most hilarious one I've ever read, I still can't stop laughing even after reading it an hour ago...omg... :lol: :lol: :lol:
Is that the work of your magical moustache? Lol, speculah to the max, that's a nice speculation you know, about Sae's disappearance. Lets see if that's true when I get to update in the next parts. :roll:
It's just a teaser, there won't be more after that, unless you want to get a second troll post, which I certainly would not want to do since I might evoke my readers into chasing after me and kill me for trolling. :lol:
Lol, thanks guys for the comments and thank yous over that troll post.....Gosh, I love you guys, ahaha, I'm currently having the best laugh of my life after reading all your comments...... XD Sorry about that though............... :roll:
I'll update Chinmoku, maybe....tomorrow or so? I'm currently nearly finished with writing, and I tell you, its a long update. :P Anyways, see you guys around, please don't chase after me and hunt me down for trolling you guys. :lol:
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A/N: It's update time! No trolling this time because I'm serious. Just finished writing this today, so its fresh, and I've yet to read through it......and check for errors, sorry...my eyes are a bit teary I need to rest it for a bit, but anyways, like I promised, I did an extra long long update to make up with not updating last week and for the trolling~ :heart:
Thank you for everyone who's been visiting and reading my fics and all the thank yous! :cathappy:
Before we go on with the update, I'm gonna give you links to other posts.
For those who haven't read my Kiriban 4000+ & 5000+ special shot, here's the link to it:
- Sacrificial Ritual - Preview (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1033294#msg1033294)
- Sacrificial Ritual - Part I (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1034226#msg1034226)
- Confimations and Informations about Sacrificial Ritual (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1035275#msg1035275)
Anyways, let's get on with this update! I hope you enjoy reading this, I did my best you know...... :lol:
To those who are uncomfortable with fighting or violence you can take this as the chance to leave or click this link (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?board=141.0) to go back to the AKB Fanfic Thread.
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Chinmoku
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Part IX
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The young queen giggled shamelessly, snickering at the raven, a large smirk plastered on her face as she watched Black with mild interest, seeing the former queen’s face changing into a twisted looking expression that hinted of pain and dissonance.
The words hung in the open air as likely as the silence continued in that very place under the humid and tense atmosphere; the words kept ringing in Black’s ears, it kept repeating, just like a broken tape recorder, almost hauntingly mocking her.
Those were words which she had not heard from a long time after their last fight, and yet, it had now resurfaced once more and sent an unbelievable amount of terror in her heart. Black never wanted to hear them, Gekikara would often use that phrase, something which the younger girl liked, but to have that phrase aimed at her, at a timing like this was something Black did not wanted at the very moment.
Black never had the younger girl tell her that, much less being the one directed with Gekikara’s violent streak. So why of all times, had it been directed to her? Black wanted to question it oh so bitterly in her own frustration, had it not been that the young queen was staring at her with an obvious deadly glint in her eyes, something that the former queen felt fear in. It was not just a normal glint, the one that Gekikara would often wear on her eyes whenever she fought in the past; it was different as it held a much more dangerous edge in it.
It was as if Black had caught a glimpse of a killer’s eyes, void of emotions or life.
It was as if, the person Black was looking at was not Gekikara, but someone else…
Someone that wasn’t Gekikara, someone that wasn’t familiar to Black herself, as if someone had taken over the younger queen’s body…
She looked far off, too distant, too cold and malevolent, guttural even like she was deprived of something, her eyes glowed so brightly in the dark; it somehow seemed to have glowed in an eerie deep crimson color. Yet, when Black blinked for a second, it was gone, without even a single trace, as if it never appeared, as if it was just a mere illusion of a sort.
‘Was that just my hallucination…?’ Black frowned as she asked herself of what she had seen a while ago, and what she was seeing right now.
Black herself knew that she had seen something, yet looking at Gekikara and comparing her own memory of that quick unpleasant sight, it was odd and weird; also, it somehow collided with reality and common sense. While the raven did want to believe that she had seen Gekikara’s eyes glow red, Black’s eyes were telling another story as she was seeing that the younger girl’s eyes were brown, yet distant and emotionless, just like what she used to have in her own.
Yet she did not want to deny it either, that quick glimpse of seeing Gekikara’s hidden feelings. Although it scared her, seeing the younger girl’s eyes flashing red for just a few seconds, she was utmost concerned at what she had a glimpse of.
Black felt like she was looking at a mirror, a mirror of what she had used to be in those chocolate brown orbs, emotionless, careless and unconcerned.
She was plainly cold and distant.
Filled with hatred and anger over everything, regretting and guilty of all the miseries her parents had endured and taken against all the people spitting out words of indignation towards their family.
It was the anger and hatred that always hurts the most.
Taking the blame, being guilty and being hurt countless times over a mistake she never did.
That was Black disliked the most, and she felt it, those emotions through Gekikara’s eyes.
It was like a mirror, it was like she was staring at a mirror, and yet it was still different in more than one ways.
It was unexplainable and ominous.
Black quickly felt her body jerk, her thoughts were suddenly interrupted when she heard the other girl snickering, letting out a maniacal giggle as she took a step forward while dragging her weapon, its edge scrapping the floor. It made Black grit her teeth and back away, glancing back and forth from Gekikara to her dangerous gleaming katana while keeping a distance away from the younger girl.
A soft giggle escaped from Gekikara’s lips, tilting her head to the side as she eyed her victim, watching her tremble slightly like a puppy, yet bearing its teeth at her. The sight made Gekikara feel happy, almost too happy that she was enjoying the frightened and alarmed expression Black gave when she lifted her katana and pointed the tip at the raven’s chest.
“What’s wrong…?”
“Why aren’t you talking?” Gekikara asked in a gentle yet mocking voice, sharply staring at Black while she kept the katana pointed at her, a malicious grin on her face.
“Are you…scared? You seem so pale…you’re shivering you know.” The insane queen pointed out the obvious, much to the raven’s own chagrin when she saw the pleased expression on Gekikara’s face.
“Why…”
“Why are you doing this?” Black hissed through her teeth, the frown marring her face never leaving once. The older girl could not hide her apparent frustration and anxiety as her eyes kept pacing back and forth to the weapon and to the younger queen. There was definitely something odd, there was something wrong in all of these, not only did her gut feeling dictated it, but also her brain and heart, they were all screaming at her, telling her to run away from Gekikara.
“This? What ‘this’?” Gekikara stared at Black innocently, smiling like an angel; the kind of smile that made Black’s stomach turn uncomfortably, it was disturbing, it looked so wrong, so out of place in this alley at this time of the night with the younger girl drenched in blood.
“Don’t play with me…you know what I’m talking about.” Black bit her bottom lip, taking a step back while she kept herself into gazing back at the lifeless hazy orbs that kept staring at her, watching her just like a predator would look at its prey.
“Do I? Who knows~” The insane queen giggled, lowering the katana as she turned to her side, she laughed, her maniacal laughter echoing inside the dark blood stained alley. All of a sudden, Gekikara eerily tilted her head, limply even while gazing back at Black, staring at her with lifeless brown eyes, the annoying smirk on her lips never disappearing as it only served to grow larger.
“…Rena…” Black growled in agitation. The younger girl was playing around, as if she wanted to push Black off the edge, as if she wanted to trap the former queen.
Black hated it but she kept silent, closing her mouth tightly, restraining herself from speaking and protesting.
She hated how Gekikara was avoiding answering the questions. It was another issue however on the blood-drenched queen’s side; Gekikara immensely enjoyed Black’s twisted and pained expression, just watching the older girl as her brow furrowed and her teeth grit made her heart leap and palpitate, it made Gekikara excited. It made her want to torment this person before her even more.
Other than that though, Gekikara felt confused and curious about this person, this hazy figure in front of her who’s face she could not see, whose voice was just merely static sounding, yet when it called her by her true name, Gekikara felt an odd feeling throbbing in her chest other than excitement, other than happiness. There was something next to all those emotions; it was a feeling of something throbbing oh so painfully in her chest that it left a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach.
‘Why…does this person know my name…?’ Gekikara thought to herself, her curiosity increasing and wanting to delve further into the thought when a voice suddenly spoke, cooing in her head, disrupting her train of thoughts.
[Does it even matter to know who this person is?] The voice in Gekikara’s head sighed, its voice dripping with disappointment hinted in the statement, as if it did not want the younger girl to think, as if it did not want her to know, as if it was hiding something from Gekikara, talking pretentiously and lightly of gaining freedom.
Gekikara listened to that voice, placing her whole attention to the devil’s whispered words that entered and ran around in her mind, lulling her into a deep trance as the voice carried on.
[Of course, it does not matter!]
[All you just need to do is kill. Kill everyone and you’ll be set free.] The voice said its words caressing, tingling and light; Gekikara felt entranced with the voice’s words, convinced of the words the devil in her head spoke of as it continued on; [Don’t think of any other pointless things…]
[…Just kill…]
[Kill and set yourself free; show everyone what you can do.] The voice quietly whispered; its tone caressing and light, fleeting even as the voice disappeared in an instant, leaving silence in its wake.
Those words, the words of the voice were encouraging, it became a fuel to Gekikara’s igniting desire, like fuel lighting up a fire, but it was dangerous as those words were tainted with malicious.
Even then, the voice did not say anything but of a promise, a promise that was far off to happen, she did not pay attention to the nagging feeling in her conscience that she was doing something wrong, Gekikara did not pay any attention to morality and humanity.
She chose not to listen to anything else but the voice inside her head itself, thinking that everything devil said was true.
‘That’s right…all I need is to kill…’
‘This person…doesn’t matter.’ Gekikara clutched the handle of her katana tightly, throwing her head forward before letting it hang limply just as that to her limbs.
Black had been watching, staying silent and barely even moving the whole time while Gekikara was lost in her thoughts. The raven had been staring in curiosity at the younger girl, watching Gekikara’s expression change constantly as she stood still, barely even moving from her position before the insane queen suddenly threw her head forward and kept her gaze lowered down, her limbs limp with the katana still tightly clutched in her hand.
Startled, Black took a step back in alarm at the suddenness of the action, yet was still able to keep her expression intact, her frown never disappearing. Black kept her resolves intact and kept herself in staying in the area instead of fleeing even as the atmosphere dropped cold, becoming too ominous and tense, making the alley seem more dangerous and isolated; a perfect ground for a perfect bloody carnage.
Black did not like her current position, there was not anything favorable of it at all in fighting the younger girl, fighting someone she cares and loves.
Not only that, Black knew that she was in a total disadvantage, her body was already screaming and aching from all the exhausting running she had done, her ankle was also hurt in the process after the wrong step she had done after evading Gekikara’s attacks earlier.
She would have died in an instant if she had not evaded them.
The thought made Black’s stomach toss over in upset, as Black felt her legs tremble and weaken at the thought of Gekikara’s earlier attack. It was intense, furious and wild, unyielding, unwavering without any restraint, every blow aiming to hurt her, to kill her.
It scared her more than anything did; it frightened her seeing Gekikara’s lifeless mocking eyes shine in the dark with amazement and glee, it was like an eye of a killer, an eye of a true fiend, the sight haunted her and it made her upset and guilty.
‘It’s my fault that it has come to this…isn’t it?’ Black bitterly thought to herself.
Bead of sweats trickled down Black’s cheeks, her mouth shut tightly as she clenched her jaw, a large lump forming in her throat. The raven teen held her breath unconsciously, waiting and waiting, watching while anticipating for the younger girl’s actions.
Black watched as Gekikara’s head slowly moved, watching as the young queen stretched her shoulders, moving her head in a circular pattern as she heard snapping or cracking sounds of bones accompanied along before Gekikara’s head was bowed down again, in the same limping fashion from a while ago.
‘What’s…happening?’ Black thought to herself; arching a brow up, puzzled yet cautious of the insane queen’s movements. There was no telling what the other girl would do. She was an enigmatic after all just the same as Black is and even though the former queen had been with Gekikara for few years; there were still some things that she had yet to understand.
It was some things that she wanted to learn and know to be able to understand the younger girl. Although Black did know of Gekikara’s past, although she did know what kind of girl the insane queen had once been, she did not know just how exactly Gekikara’s brain and emotions work.
Gekikara was a mystery, in more than one ways, yet a mystery that Black did not mind delving into and answering. It was one of the reasons why she wanted to make the younger girl open up; it was a reason next to wanting to see her smile. She was aiming for a smile so genuine, so true and pure, something that Black had only caught seeing for just a few times.
Why had she forgotten of that purpose anyway?
Why had she forgotten of the promise she had kept to herself of wanting to make the younger girl happy?
The answers were simple yet agitating, but it was the truth; the truth of which Black felt irritation for. She was obliged of being selfish. She was aware of it, how she had always kept a dark part of herself inside, something that had been set free after Black had lost her past self.
She was guilty beyond reasonable doubt even just by simply being selfish.
She had more or less taken for granted the younger girl’s dependence on her, and she took pride it in, having her attention all for herself, having all of Rena’s focus on her even if it was in the depths of her mind.
It was in human nature to be selfish, but there were boundaries to how far one can be selfish, and Black wanted to stop herself from going further and make up with all the attention Gekikara never failed to place on to her.
If she were to do that, then maybe, just maybe…Gekikara would be more free and unconstrained than of her usual restrained self as how Black viewed her all the time.
The idea itself wasn’t far off, but it wasn’t easy to attain either, but if she were to work on it now and catch up, she might as well have it in her hands. Maybe then…Black might be able to grasp her past self, her past wishes and joys, even if only a bit through fulfilling this.
‘But to do so…’
‘I’ll most likely have to stop her first.’ Black pursed her lips into a tight line, a grim expression on her face.
Taking in a deep breath as to calm her nerves, Black waited and watched patiently, keeping her guard up while in she was facing the insane enigmatic queen.
Gekikara abruptly let out a soft low giggle escape from her lips from all of a sudden, startling Black as it grew louder and crazier, turning into a full-blown maniacal laugher. The younger girl threw her head back as she cackled; a sly malicious smile slowly formed on her lips, Gekikara adjusted her line of vision, setting her attention primarily on Black.
Gekikara kept giggling even as she just stood there, watching Black, whom stared at the younger queen with her ever-present frown.
“Hey…”
“…Is it alright if I kill you?” The blood-drenched queen questioned, raising her katana as she tapped the hilt, the back of the sharp edge on her wounded bloody hand, flashing her sharp fangs at Black in a menacing way.
“It won’t hurt too much, only a little~” Gekikara cooed tilting her head cutely to the side with an innocent look on her face, a large grin crossing on her lips. The whole image was sickening to look at, especially with the obvious dangerous intent behind the expression itself, it was twisted.
“As if that could ever happen…!” Black answered in irritation, hissing a bit while glaring at the insane queen.
Gekikara gazed at Black in mock shock, her mouth agape, forming a small ‘o’ before it disappeared, leaving only a pout on her lips before it melted into a small smile, a smile that would normally looked so beautiful, but far off in this situation.
“Don’t be like that…”
“You still haven’t tried it…how would you know?” The younger girl placed a thoughtful finger below her chin, gazing at Black like a curious child, pouting for a second before a feral smile formed on her lips.
“Do you want me to try it? Look here…” Gekikara said inquiringly, slowly placing her palm onto the sharp edges on the katana before she gripped it, moving her hand as the katana slid and cut her skin, wounding her finger as blood dripped from the wound.
Black watched in wide horror when she watched the younger girl giggle while licking off her own blood with a pure expression of glee before she presented her wounded palm to Black with a large grin on her face, happily giving the figure in front of her, her personal opinion, “It doesn’t hurt at all.”
“Hey, now that I’ve tried it…”
“…Let’s have you try it as well, to be fair…ne?” Gekikara giggled, placing her hand in front of her mouth, biting her nails, causing the clicking sounds to echo throughout the alley in an eerily disturbing manner as the noise went on continuously.
“Rena…” Black mumbled; frowning sadly amidst all the pressure and tension between them, even amidst the painful words of killing intent, Black did not feel any remorse or rage over Gekikara. The raven only felt despair at the words as they hurt her deeply.
Was it intentional? Or unintentional?
Did Gekikara really want to kill her?
Did the younger girl’s affections change all of a sudden from love to anger and resentment?
Black did not know, what she did know was that she was having a hard time digesting everything in her head. The words, her actions, their surroundings and what were transpiring; it was hard to process.
She did not know how to deal with this…
Black lowered her gaze, bowing her head while she placed her defenses down, her arms limping on both of her sides. Gekikara arched a brow up and frowned, ignoring the fact that the person before her called her name as she playfully swung the katana in her hand back and forth in a childish manner.
“What’s wrong? We haven’t even started yet.” The insane queen pouted, puffing her cheeks cutely as she eyed her victim, watching as how the hazy figure’s shoulders slumped while shaking its head.
“Stop it.”
“Just stop this already, please. Let’s just go home together…” Black sighed; the tone of her voice was desperate and pleading yet loud and clear enough to hear.
Gekikara tilted her head, her expression turning emotionless. The insane queen glanced at Black and blinked, once, twice, thrice…before she eventually averted her eyes, staring at her bloody katana instead while she swung it, watching as it gleamed in the dark.
“Stop?” Gekikara repeated the word, that one single word that intensely made the atmosphere’s temperature lower down. Black’s brows twitched a bit, feeling the cold midnight air biting her skin, filling her mind with apprehension and anxiety over at the situation at hand.
“Stopping now would be no fun…”
“We barely even started…” Gekikara shook her head disapprovingly while gazing straight into Black’s eyes, staring at her with lifeless and emotionless eyes that seemed so hollow, so cold and so distant.
“Besides, the police won’t come here anyways…seeing as how this place is isolated and hidden…” Gekikara simply let a smile for on her lips, her eyes blinking and twitching in an odd manner as she bit her nails, snickering a bit.
‘She’s really serious…isn’t she?’ Black asked herself, shuffling her feet awkwardly on the concrete pavement as the insane queen lifted the katana up and pointed its tip at her like before, a large malicious smirk forming on Gekikara before she shouted a battle cry, charging forward towards Black.
The blood-drenched queen howled, lifting the katana high up in the air before bringing it down by doing a swift downward slash. The older girl took a step to her side and ran forward, grabbing the insane queen’s forearm while thrusting a palm towards Gekikara’s chest, placing all of the pressure into the center of her palm creating a clean powerful attack that hit the younger girl, making her flinch.
Gekikara hissed, staggering a bit after being hit, but she quickly went back in and swung the katana furiously at Black who quickly avoided by swiftly jumping back a few feet away from Gekikara’s dead attack, the katana hitting the concrete pavement loudly, echoing throughout the alley.
The sound was shrill and ear-piercingly painful, yet the damage suffered by the ground was far more severe as the attack left a long slit mark, small bits of rubble and dust dirtying the ground.
Black took a deep shaky breath, her wide eyes never leaving as Gekikara lifted the katana and positioned herself for another incoming attack. The raven stared back and forth at the katana and at Gekikara in alarm and tried to move back, only to let out a hiss from her mouth when she took a step back, pain jolting on her ankle as she did so.
“Kuh…!” Black gasped, her leg shaking a bit as she felt pain travel throughout her body, the older queen almost staggered forward if not for the hand she used to support herself.
Black gritted her teeth, her expression turning pale and pain-stricken one as she placed a hand on her knee. Although she was able to establish and avoid Gekikara’s second frontal attack, the older girl however landed rather badly on the floor with her feet getting all the strain and her ankle taking all the pressure, causing pain to rupture throughout her legs.
‘This is bad…’ Black panted; sweat dripping down her chin as the pain throbbed. This was a large disadvantage; the unexpected injury came at an unwelcomed time.
The former queen growled indignantly at the small figure in front of her as it walked forward slowly, one small step at a time while dragging the katana from behind, giggling joyously, only to pause for a moment when she noticed something fairly wrong with her prey.
Gekikara arched a brow up, her interest perking up when she saw the hazy figure in her sight slightly slumping and immobile, whilst clutching its leg. She curiously watched like a child when the figure staggered back while attempting to a step.
At first, it confused Gekikara as to why her prey was suddenly acting awfully timid and slow, but it became all too clear when it attempted to walk off again, only to let out a soft small pained after doing so.
“You’re hurt…” The insane queen said that fact oh so obviously, yet not a single tone of worry or concern evident on her voice as she said the words emotionlessly without a care at all.
“…Too bad it seems…”
“Don’t worry though…I’ll free you from your pain.” Gekikara cooed before cackling evilly, smirking devilishly afterwards as her eyes glinted evilly. The blood-drenched insane queen raised the katana once more while she took a step forward, continuing her path towards her prey with every intention to kill.
It was irritating and frustrating, yet it was painful to hear the other girl snicker afterwards mockingly, as if wanting to humiliate her, wanting to kill her even.
It was painful, yet, Black could never ever hate this sinister young queen.
She could never hate her.
Black prepared herself, mentally and physically for the next attack, placing her hopes onto surviving from another furious onslaught.
The former raven queen forced herself to stand on both of her legs, hissing a bit as she placed pressure into her left feet as her ankle throbbed in pain, yet, she ignored it, or rather, she tried not to heed any attention towards it. It did not matter whether her leg would scream in pain and kill her later on.
What mattered the most was to escape from Gekikara’s katana, whether wounded or alive.
Black waited, raising her both of her arms up with both fists clenched, taking a stance of just like a boxer’s. The raven expected an incoming attack up ahead, yet it still had caught the older girl off guard when Gekikara suddenly rushed towards her, wielding the katana forward as if wanting to stab her with its pointy tip.
Black’s body jerked forward towards her right, evading just right in time before the katana even touched her, yet the action itself caused her to shoulder to forcibly colliding painfully with the bricked wall, bruising her shoulder in the process. The older girl winced yet she forced herself to move.
The raven took a light step forward, placing the pressure and her weight on her other good foot as she swiftly went behind Gekikara before ducking and tackling the younger girl when she swiftly turned around and slashed horizontally, hitting empty air and colliding yet again the bricked wall, emitting yet another ear-splitting noise.
Black did not pay any attention at the ear-splitting noises as she quickly aimed for Gekikara’s arm and grasped the younger girl’s wrist while her other hand tried to pry away the offending dangerous weapon.
Gekikara grinned malevolently at Black as she fought to keep the older girl’s prying hands away from taking the katana from her by launching a jab towards Black, aiming for the older girl’s face. Black took a step back, dodging the offending hand from hitting her before she intercepted with Gekikara’s incoming bolo punch with a front kick to the insane queen’s stomach, sending her staggering back.
The younger girl coughed a bit, coughing out a mixture of saliva and blood on the ground while she clutched her stomach as she tried to recover from the strong pressure inflicted on her stomach. Black took this as a chance to take several steps away from Gekikara, dragging her feet before she leaned her trembling and tired body on the bricked wall of the alley for support while resisting the pain that was threatening to overtake her body.
‘I’m already…at my limit…’ Black panted, grasped her chest as she felt her breathing constricting, making it hard for her to breath all the same as exhaustion was slowly taking its toll on her body.
Black wanted to sit down and rest, the aching feeling of her ankle was already killing her immensely as she was overusing her legs, even pushing herself as farther from her normal limit. It hurts, the pain in her ankle was throbbing, yet she couldn’t just let herself rest completely, knowing that a single mistake such as putting her guard down might cost her her own head.
Gekikara frowned and huffed in frustration as she missed her target yet again, but smiled slowly at the fun and entertainment her prey was giving her. She did not mind that this person was struggling from her; she did not mind any one bit as she was enjoying this immensely. Gekikara knew however that her prey would eventually fall in her hands, just as the rest did.
A smile crossed on her face at the thought of what to do her victims body, just thinking of what she could do made her excited, her insane mind unconscious of the fact that she was battling someone dear to her as the voice inside in her head simply hummed in satisfaction at what was currently transpiring.
On the other hand, Black herself was not enjoying this unexpected fight, being aware of the fact that the younger girl was immensely enjoying this.
Not only that, Gekikara was perfectly fine even with the few blows she had done to her, give an unsettling feeling Black’s stomach seeing as how there was no such effects on the younger girl. It was evident with Gekikara herself cackling immensely even, looking perfectly fine. Her face painted a picture of pure happiness and amazement as she gazed at the former raven queen, a sly devilish smile on her face.
“Hehe…” Gekikara sputtered, wiping off the trail of blood dripping down her chin before she looked at her palm and stared at her own blood, sputtering out-loud maniacal laughter at the deep crimson liquid painting and staining her self-inflicted wounded hands.
“…Ahahaha!”
“You’re good…really good…!” Gekikara chortled, clapping her hand onto her wrist frantically while bobbing her head as she giggled, still holding onto the katana.
“You’re fun…better than the rest…”
The younger girl offered a smile to Black, biting her nails, the tasting the coppery taste of her own blood while her eyes trailed from up until down the figure’s body, scanning the former queen.
“You’re really good…”
“But even so…” Gekikara mumbled, licking her lips before smirking widely, flashing her teeth at Black.
“…I’ll still kill you.” The younger queen whispered ominously before giggling again, taking an offensive stance as she readied her katana, charging in all at once. Black growled in frustration as she pushed herself away from the wall quickly and run backwards, hissing as the pain in her joints intensified.
Gekikara laughed maniacally, swinging her fist at Black, who quickly placed her guard up, easily defending herself from the attack, yet only to be wounded by the younger girl’s quick upward slash, cutting the sleeves of Black’s jacket and in the process, the raven’s skin as well.
She quickly took a step back while grasping the wound on her forearm as blood dripped down from the cut. Black stared at the wound, flinching a bit when she moved her arm, she quickly took a quick scan at the wound, but thankfully, it wasn’t all too serious, it wasn’t deep either, but it was painful never the less.
‘Damn…’ The raven inwardly cursed to herself, clutching the wound while she watched as Gekikara giggled, staggering limply; smiling darkly and mischievously at her.
‘I seriously need to get that katana away…’ Black glared at the younger girl, waiting and watching, searching for a perfect time to act. The former raven queen’s sharp hawk-like eyes quickly scanned Gekikara while she tried to find a weak spot, noticing the wounds on the hand the held the katana.
Black smiled to herself when she spotted that opening and jerked forward, running with all her might while ignoring the pain in her ankle. Black’s brows knitted together, grimacing a little at the prickling sensation of the cut, she continued to ignore the pain in her body and released a timed-in roundhouse kick when Gekikara has raised her arms, ready to deal another strike at her.
The older teen succeeded in hitting Gekikara’s hand, making the katana fling out of the younger girl’s grasp due to the all the force Black placed on her kick. The katana flew down towards the floor, landing on the floor with a loud heavy clanking sound as it skid further away from the two teens and into the shadows, out of their view.
Gekikara stood there, a bit startled yet amused at what had occurred. She did not expected it, being disarmed by this person who put up so much with her, fighting back with much more force and determination that her other victims. The way this person fought was in par with the insane queen’s ability, she had so much force, and fought much better, a challenge that she enjoyed, in fact, it made Gekikara’s blood boil even further, a smirk playing on her cherry lips.
Gekikara howled, swinging her fist furiously at Black whom was completely open, landing a hook to Black’s cheek, forcing the older girl to stumble back, cutting her lips in the process.
Blood dripped down Black’s chin, the cut on her lips deep and big. The raven grimaced and flinched, coughing a bit before she spit the blood and saliva accumulating in her mouth.
The scent of copper, dust and dirt floated in the air, Black scrunched her nose and winced, coughing as the scent was rather too much for her. Her heart hurts as it continued to beat rapidly inside her chest, as if wanting to leap out, as if want to be reaped off inside her.
Black placed a hand on her chest, grasping the beads adorning her rosary and her chest as she winced.
It was hard to move her body, yet Black did not want to yield, she did not want to surrender, not now, not when she had just finally realized something, just when she had finally remembered something. Moreover, knowing that if she let Gekikara take her down there and then, everything would be over.
Everything would end; all the hard work she had done; all the pain she had taken; everything that she had treasured and loved; everything that she kept in her heart and mind.
Everything…
All of them will be at lost if she were to be killed now by Gekikara.
Black desperately tried to keep her trembling leg from giving up as she watched Gekikara back towards her, releasing a hook to her right side, which the raven teen blocked with her forearm before she countered back with a short straight punch to Gekikara’s stomach.
Gekikara gasped at the force and choked down, spewing blood over the pavement as she took a step back, heaving a deep breath, before rushing back in, and thrusting in a jab straight at Black’s face. The raven moved her head to the other side, tilting her head in order to evade the punch, only to get hit by a surprise cross attack, hitting Black straight on her left cheek.
The force exerted was excessively hard and strong that it made Black stagger back, only to fall down completely as her knees gave in, making the former queen land on her bottom in the process while she groaned and hissed, clutching her head in pain, slightly dizzy from the surprise attack.
Black did not have enough time to recover as Gekikara staggered her way towards the raven, kneeling down, pushing Black to the ground before she sat on the raven’s stomach, straddling the former queen while giggling brazenly at her, forcibly grabbing the collar of Black’s t-shirt, sending down a powerful punch as she pounded the older girl.
“Ugh…” Black groaned, choking down a pained gasp. The former queen fought to keep herself from fainting whilst attempting to struggle from Gekikara as she wriggled and kicked, trying to force Gekikara off her, forcing her arms to move even just to stop another incoming assault from hurdling down towards her by catching the blood-drenched girl’s fist into her own palm, holding onto it tightly.
The action however did not stop the insane younger teen, Gekikara used her other free hand and quickly thrust her palm, grasping Black’s neck. Black’s eyes widened in horror as she felt the insane queen’s hand on her neck, her hands instantly reached up to pry off the offending hand away from her neck, only to cry back from the painful pressure when Gekikara tightened her hold.
“R-Re…na…!” Black sputtered, grasping the younger girl’s hands furiously as she tried to pry it off, finding it hard to talk due to the offending hand on her neck and the weight on her stomach.
Black wriggled, struggling excessively to be released from Gekikara’s hold, which amused the insane queen as she watched her prey gasping, her chest heaving up and down in a fast rhythmical state.
“I finally got you now…” Gekikara let a giggle escape from her lips, enjoying the sight of her prey struggling and in pain, hearing this person’s gasps and pained groans was musical to her ears, it made her want to hear more.
“I’ll be able to kill you after all that struggling…hehehe…” Gekikara giggled in amusement, smiling angelically at Black while she used her free hand to cup the older girl’s cheek, caressing it lighting with her thumbs.
The blood-drenched queen turned her head to both of her sides, looking around, searching for something while she securely held Black in place. Gekikara quickly spotted something shining in the dark from out of the corner of her eyes and instantly, she reached up for it, picking it up; a malevolent and vicious grin on her lips.
Black stared at Gekikara in wide horror as she saw what the shorter girl held in her hand. It made all the blood in the raven’s body turn cold, her body started to sweat and shiver at the sight of the sharp point blade in front of her; it was the blade that she had carelessly thrown away, only to be back, but in Gekikara’s hands instead.
The blade gleamed threateningly at Black, frightening the older girl as she saw it coming closer to her. Black tried to struggle again, but Gekikara was far too powerful for her.
“Ne…”
“Okkotteru?” Gekikara asked the familiar ominous question yet again, tilting her head cutely with a perfect angelic smile on her face. Seeing the younger girl’s smiling face up this close, Black trembled, tears slowly forming at the corner of her eyes as she stared at Gekikara, her predator, her would-be killer, this young frail looking girl, Matsui Rena.
The thought of being killed and dying in Gekikara’s hands made Black weep at her helpless state.
This seemed to be her end.
The end of everything.
The realization of what was to come left a burning and stinging sensation in her heart just as much as the pain in her throat, as much as the pain screaming in her lungs. Yet she wasn’t angry, nor was she blaming Gekikara.
“I-I’m…not angry…” Black shakily struggled to answer, only coming out in a weak voice.
Gekikara frowned at the answer, but shrugged her shoulders before she giggled, she did not care either way of what the answer was; this hazy figure before her was a no body, and Gekikara did not care for someone she did not know.
It did not matter whether this person was angry with her or not.
What matters the most for her was her freedom.
What matters the most was to be worthy to be someone near Black, and she was going to prove it everyone, by all means of killing or eliminating them all.
It did not matter what method, just as long as she gets what she wanted.
“I don’t care either way…”
“I’ll kill you anyways…” Gekikara cooed softly at Black as she raised her arm, the blade ready in her hand, its sharp tip dangerously pointing threateningly down at Black while the insane queen kept her head steady by holding onto Black’s neck and placing all of her weight onto the raven’s stomach.
There was no escape, struggling was not an option either way.
It was hopeless.
‘This…is the end it seems…’
Black stared at the blade, letting tears trickle down her cheeks as she choked down a sob, painfully trying to breath as much as what was possible.
Black watched Gekikara raise her hand higher, everything seemingly happening in a slow-paced motion, nevertheless, tears cascaded down in a long trail, never seemingly ending as it travelled down her cheeks to her chin.
‘I’m sorry.’
She closed her eyes tightly, apologizing in her mind as Black had no more strength to open her mouth, she let darkness obscure her sight, and after that…
It happened…
The sound of the blade cutting and piercing flesh resounded in the silence of the humid and dark alley. Blood splattered on the pavement floor, painting it with a new and fresher deep crimson liquid…
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End of Part IX
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A/N: Long update is long! See you guys next update! I hope you enjoyed reading this.....lol, btw, if anyone's curious, Part IX is worth two updates you know, its 15 pages long in MS Word and about 6500+ words all in all. XD
Longest update I ever wrote in my whole time as a writer! This is my way of paying you guys for the trolling, hope it'll calm you from wanting to hunt me down~
Anyways, bye! Gotta catch up with reading other fics and commenting. :cathappy:
(Note: Edited this a bit and corrected some mistakes. I don't think I got them all though... Anyways, there are some terminologies here coming from boxing and basic kicks for the moves/attacks, you can find more information about them in wikipedia.)
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first! will edit after reading. :D at last!! SIEKA SAN!! UWAH! SO HAPPY! LOL
at last.. i don't know if i had the mood to comment right now.. after read the ending
LOL
I already saw this.. Rena will trying to kill Yuki since she's became a schizo.. She has delusion and hallucination..
also the bipolar personality.. i already saw it.. i have predicted it..
so i'm not too suprised to found they're fighting in this chapter.
The fighting scene was excellent! I thrilled! UWAH! it's so good. I almost forgot to breath
and the ending.. OMG! A CLIFFHANGER!
i don't want to conclude that Yuki is already dead..
(yet imagined that rena chopped off yuki's head from her body.)
since you're giving us a cliffhanger, you maybe can change the plot and giving a twist. LOL
and it's worthed to wait.. even if you trolled us sieka-san..
update please! *curiousity level 140%*
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Finally finally finally yes! Yes! Yes! A 'REAL' UPDATE!!! Horaaayyy!!!
Aaah...after read the update...i just want the next update...hahaha..
Hope that geki wont suicide or kill yuki...or maybe..umm..
Police! Help! Help! Wakakakaka...
After geting trolled my brain become crazy...lol
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I was pretty busy lately you know, dating with with the books and stuffs. Sighs. For sure next week I wont be around. Hopefully, I will have the time to read. There's been a lot of new good fanfics lately.
Did you miss me? Lol. Sometimes I forgot to leave a comment. :nervous you know I had to scroll down first before reading your update. XD
okay okay let's put that aside...
Is Black dead now!??? No waaay!! :bleed eyes: :bleed eyes: Burakuu don't die! Gekikara needs you to be by her side! Or Gekikara stabbed herself instead of Black?? There's always a twist in everything~ :twisted: :twisted: Man, I want to smack Gekikara's head and put some senses in her. She's too cute even when she's insane. :3
I spotted a reference from KF' bonus dvd. XD XD XD only this one is much more gruesome with blood...which is really damn awesome!
Okay Black you need to be alive at the next chapter.
Phew, hahahaha it was a good read. I will troll you next time! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA
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Wow, I think we can definatly put that ending down as a cliff hanger!
Seems to me though that all the posibilities at the end of this chapter could happen.... Did Geki kill Black? Or even herself? Or maybe even it was Rena killing the 'Geki' part of herself! Needless to say I will be checking for the next chapter!!! :panic:
As for the chapter itself I feel as though Poor Black had no chance of really winning this fight, for her you see it was Geki she was fighting (or perhpas more importantly Rena) and whatever it was that Rena was trying to do to her in that alley to Black it was still the girl she loved, more accuratley despite all the things that Rena had done and was doing, Black could not look past her love for the mad queen, of course Rena has lost herself to 'Geki' at this point so she does not see that it is black infront of her, just another opponent to kill, not the girl that she loves so desperatly that it got her into this situation in the first place,.....
Geki's one purpose here is to kill, her mind is focussed on it where as Black's (or maybe it's better to call her Yuki here) mind is filled on thoughts of why Geki is like this, is it her fault, does she really want to kill Yuki?......
Maybe though, just maybe Yuki saying that she wasn't angry..... well maybe that might of brought something back.......
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Noooo!!!!! Black!!!! Gekikara what did you do?!!!!
I didn't expect that you would troll but I find that funny^^
My fic with incest I think you will wait a long time since I'm writing another OS and I have to update my long story and post a new long story lol
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Chinmoku
O___o What did i just read again? Lol, it is like watching MG with much more blood and angst. All of the characters here are like really really hurt, physically and mentally.
Rena as Gekikara is twisted and scary in a way. No, i dont want to meet Gekikara in real life, no matter how adorable she is. I want my death to be clean, not bloody, lol. Her character, as Rena is like a lonely and misunderstood child, she is full of affection toward people important for her. She is cute when she asked Yuki to pick her up and on their road home. Then, things happened, and the situation become intense. She is delusional to a point. She is too hurt to face the reality. Her guilt is blinding her sense of surrounding that she cant see, all that she could is hearing. And, then...her mind altering her from reality, protecting her from her fear..of hurting Yuki. Resulted in Gekikara to be unleashed and she even got her memories of Yuki being momentarily forgotten. Why i said momentarily? Because i hope she will remember Yuki's voice calling her, i dont want Yuki or her to die in that way >__<;; If she ended up killing Yuki, the moment she realized what she had done will make her delusion come true resulted in her to losing Rena to Gekikara possibly permanently. As i thought she cant live with the guilt of killing Yuki. If Rena end up realized that it is Yuki that she;s about to slash, and she stabbed herself in the process, it will make Yuki feeling guilty, resulted in her living her life not as Yuki anymore. Oh, and the fighting scene is pretty intense, i could feel myself hold my breath when Gekikara going to slash Yuki and then, it is cliffhanger lol.
About the troll update, for part IX, lol, troll author is troll :lol:
Our Past Together
It is really painful. What is it? I mean...i cant..imagine any parents to do such things to their child. It is frightening. It is like....if i feel like i want to take her away from such environment. But, i guess, it is that princess-like girl task :yep:. Well, if she is who i think is.
Sweets
Ahh, too sweet lol. It reminds me of Heavy Rotation, somehow, i wonder why. Then again, i feel embarrassed reading it XD
I’ll Reach You Again
It started somehow poetically, then in the middle it became full of sadness, in the end it is full of determination. Feeling sad, thinking bout it, trying to make a conclusion, in the end able to find a strength to keep on moving forward, it is such a ride full of emotions :D because i thought one must have felt it at some point of life, not necessarily about love, but about things in general.
Stay By My Side
Oh? Supernatural? Yuki...as Grimreaper? Lol, so black xD. What am i talking about, she is black XD. Hmm, Tomomi is kitsune? Or vampire? Or demon? It is gloomy, the atmosphere but, there are some lighthearted feeling too. Curious...bout the continuation.
Sacrificial Ritual
Arara? Hn, i dont like the idea of sacrificing one for all if the condition is like this. And, the way you write it, the ritual seems really scary and cruel, exactly what are they doing in the ritual anyway? :( But, you say Sayaka died in the process? So, it is possible that the one being sacrificed to not die, right? Or is it only my wishful thinking? Ah, on the other hand, arent Yuki and Rena really cute here? :wub: Who will be sacrificed next, i wonder. Yuki? Rena? Jurina? Or one from other family?
I write quite a lot o__o;; But, Sieka-san...your name somehow familiar, i wonder why? :huhuh but, never mind... maybe it's just me being weird. Anyway, i like your way of writing, really like it :oops: your words vocabulary is really wide, it is amazing o___o and then the way the story being unfold :w00t: :heart: ....i think i am fangirling, right now? Lol, have to stop then. I will wait for other updates then, Sieka-san ganbare~ ^o^)/
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Well of course I'd try to comment on this wonderful fic of yours, Sieka-san! I love it! And if I love a fic, I will comment no matter what!
Haha, maybe I should try to make it as a secret about being a sadist. I need to stop showing it, so that it can surprise others. Mwuahahahaha. :twisted:
Oh Sieka-san, if all of those four gets combined....It'll probably be the best! I mean, just Yukirin...then with Gekikara-sama. WOW.
And I guess that it IS pretty harsh even if you don't give a level. haha.
Well, the options shall be answered through time, isn't that right Sieka-san?
You're not just going to give out hints of what's going to happen, isn't that right? :P
Well~ :bigdeal: It's their fault (and the author's) for having such an interesting ritual. ahahaha~ :hiakhiakhiak:
Just kidding. I won't make such a joke.
And I'm glad that EVEN boys are not exempted. Well, the girls are really unlucky to have such a ritual. Poor them.
ahaha, disaster in the making huh? That seems nice! Bwuahahaha~ :hiakhiakhiak:
Well, the main reason that she's the one I'm putting the death tag on is the reason that there's just this...feeling I get. It's just that.... I don't really know how to explain it. But it would be great if it wasn't her.
ahaha~ Well, whoever gets chosen is pretty much unlucky. I hope that they can escape the it.
Hmm~ Maybe I should do it!
I'll be fine with whatever you choose to do. ^^ so go ahead! :on GJ:
And I received my punishment. Boohoo~ :on speedy:
And you know me~ :nya:
Loving it more when characters suffer, because it's always happy endings.
Angst brings color to life, that's what I think. LOL
And onto the commenting!
Chapter Nine: Rena-sama is really controlled by Gekikara now. She can't even stop herself from killing her poor victims, nor even realise that the person in front of her is the person she loves. Black is really in trouble, since Gekikara-sama isn't affected by her attacks. The girl is immune to pain, after all. And what's worse, the monster inside her has been let loose. *shivers from the thrill* Gekikara-sama...you never fail to make me worship you more~!
And the blood... I wonder if Yukirin really got stabbed. I mean...there might be a twist. someone might be coming over to stop them, and such. But then the blood....that crimson liquid splattered onto the floor.
Yukirin... :fainted:
I'll be waiting for your update soon! Thank you for your work! :kneelbow:
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LOL!! im glad im entertaining enough for you to laugh at xD hahahaha 8)
and yes! it might be the work of my..magical moustache!! (its magical now? lol) mmm i wonder if my speculation will be right XD
ROFL NO MORE TROLLING D: or else ill go throw a stress puzzle piece haha
YES YES BLOOD AND GORE AND FIGHTS! :w00t: :w00t:
indeed an epic fight indeed.......rena has lost herself to the devil now and does not know that the person shes going to kill is her beloved D:
and blacks attacks dont affect her at all! shes actually enjoying them :O
bahhh i loved that last sentence :P love the epicness of it all!
thanks for the update! :D :thumbsup
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very intresting plssssssssssssssss!!!!!!!!!!
update soooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!
I hope black is not killed!!!!
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I'm just here to reply to everyone's comments, Chinmoku update will be late again though. :lol:
And seriously, I'm not trolling anyone again, I don't use the same methods twice you know and I don't plan on trolling you guys again, that unless I'm up for being mischievous, but not now. :lol:
Replies:
@bochang - Oppa, you shouldn't have commented after reading it if you didn't feel like it. You shouldn't force yourself you know~
Hehe, to be honest I really wasn't planning to write a BlackGeki fight in the first place, it was supposed to be a different scene......but since someone requested a fight scene for them, I did it, even though it would be predictable that way. Let's say I'm being kind to my readers and fulfilling their request for BlackGeki fight because first of all, I've never written any fighting scenes, only now, in this part, and I was against the thought, but then again, why not? Since Chinmoku is nearing its end after all..... :lol:
Hahaha, plot twist? As expected from you oppa! A psychologist should know all the possibilities...hehe...there are quite a lot of options presented here and I can choose any of them and end this fic with one dead. :roll:
@kurogumi - Geki going suicide is likely to come true if she kills Black....ahahaha, the police won't come you know!! That place's deserted and unreachable since its one of the most prominent places where death would likely to take place, and Geki already confirmed that the police won't come there anyways......
I'm sorry for making your brain crazy after trolling you. :sweatdrop:
@Spicy Sapphire - I know, I know that all the readers here are busy, one way or another and I understand that, hopefully enough, you guys take vitamins, rest and eat healthy food! :)
Did I miss you? Hmm, I think I did, especially your fics! :lol: Lol, to be sure that it isn't trolling? Hahaha, you know, I don't use the same methods...... :roll:
Twisty twist, hehe...sure there will be twists, twists wherein Black dies, Geki ends up suicide and the fic ends horribly. There are a lot of possibilities after all. :lol: Hehehe, I know what you mean, I love it when Geki's insane....she's just too cute and sometimes she still retains this innocent look on her face....uwahhhh...... :heart:
KF meaning Kataomoi Finally right? I don't know what reference your talking about though. :sweatdrop:
Troll me next time and I'll get back at you! That is if you can troll me. :lol:
@oddball - Yep, all possibilities are open and we can get a dead end, a bad end, a good end and a normal end. Is this some kind of game? Lol. :lol:
True....its hard to fight someone who you love, much less when your injured and barehanded. Gekikara has all the advantages here, not like Black would really want to fight her, she was just aiming to come out alive. :)
You maybe right with that speculation, but you maybe wrong as well......I mean if you try rereading Gekikara's response to Black's statement of not being angry and all.
@kahem - DUN DUN DUN! Gekikara, she--------not telling. :P Haha, I see... I'm quite patient when it comes to waiting. I can wait forever. :lol:
@luna - Hahaha, I'm sorry for making it bloody and angsty? It wasn't really meant to be like this but it came out what it is right now. :lol:
Hahaha, you want your death clean? You can always ask Black for that. She does her job quick and simple. :lol:
A momentary lose of memory? Hoho, you want that to be it? It seems you don't like tragic ends luna-san. :) I'm sorry for the cliffhanger though, but it was intended to make you guys want the next part and basically because I love cliffhanging. :lol:
You saw that troll post? Lol, trolling Sieka is trolling, but I don't use the same method again you know. :roll:
Hmm, I think you should be aware though that there are parents who abuse their kids, while they do keep a clean and parently front, deep inside in their house, they do much more with their kids. :sweatdrop:
Heavy Rotation! I understand why you thought of it that way because there was this particular scene in Heavy Rotation PV where they were eating cake and there was pastries..... :lol:
I think everyone will feel that kind of collar coaster ride, I mean, your down in the drains, the next thing your depressed but then you see the light and rise up from the ruins, everyone has their moments like that, one way or another. :)
I was intending to make it a bit dramatic yet lighthearted too because I wrote it after writing a depressing part in Chinmoku and I needed something light.....hahaha, it sometimes nerve-wracking to write continuous angst. :lol:
Well, we can't always get our ways you know. What will you choose, the lives of a thousand or the lives of a few? Of course you'd choose a thousand because its much more worth larger than the fewer....you'd take that gamble, even though you know that you're killing people, if it means to save many. Erm...I don't think not sacrificing would help, I mean.....there are consequences to that.
My names familiar? Hmm, if you're a user in SSF, I'm a writer there with the same username, Sieka, I'm the write of Complete, Don't Resist, Desires and What?!, but right now I'm an AKB writer. :lol: Thank you, ehh...my vocabulary isn't that wide.... :sweatdrop:
Welcome to JPHIP btw. :)
@karomuwi - I don't think its a surprise you know..... :lol: I don't want to think of the equation though because if all four gets combined it might turn out much more bloody and messy.......someone might die too.
Yep, it'll be answered in time, just when....who knows? If I give out hints that would spoil the whole story you know and I don't want that to happen. :lol:
My fault? Hey! It's because your.......ugh....never mind. :sweatdrop:
So its the gut feeling? Everyone's been stating that its Yuki.....and to be frank I'm laughing a lot about it
Erm...that's a very naive thought karomuwi-san....I mean angst as all the possible routes, it can end tragically with a person dying, it can end as a normal one, but the person never recovering after that scene, and yeah, the happy ending and the "I just realized something, please forgive me" or the last minute realization end which comes either as tragically again, or happy. I don't think that angst would always have happy endings labeled on it. :lol:
Even when Gekikara's most likely trying to kill Black, you're still adoring her? I don't know what to say...... :lol:
It's like your on the Gekikara team here...lol. :lol: :lol:
@Pandah - You never fail to entertain and make me laugh you know. XD
I think its magical, it grew again even though I shaved it off......lol.
I won't troll, I won't......come on......geez, don't throw anything at me though, your efforts will be wasted. What's a stress puzzle piece though? :huhuh
Gekikara is an insane beast, she can handle all the pain basically because she can't feel them, she just feels something weird.
@Chikane Himemiya - I'm trying to update soon....I'm trying. :lol:
@anzai48 - I also have a hard time with Creative Writing you know, I'm not that too good with combining words that it takes me quite a long time before I accomplish something coherent to read, thanks to successive readings of fanfics and novels, I learned to write.......a bit though. :sweatdrop: Thank you though. :)
I must say, I love your avy... 8)
That line was actually intended. It isn't in my style to write things directly. :sweatdrop:
So now we have spicyness level? Hoho, I think you got a few of it right. But it's still not quite there..... :rofl:
Black wouldn't throw the first punch, its always dangerous to charge in on your opponent, especially if they suddenly acted like that. You need to be patient and alert and watch your opponent, letting your opponent strike first will give you at least a few percentage chance of either dodging, countering back or getting hit, depends on how fast your reflex works though. Besides, if Black did the first hit, there might have been a chance that she would have been stabbed by Gekikara. Plus, she doesn't know what Gekikara was up to, until she moves again. :lol:
MY FAULT?!
HEY!!!!!! :(
Why is it my fault now? It's a part of the story line, unless you want me to suddenly write it happy then I might as well call in for shit writing. :(
You wound me you know, anzai-san........not that I mind because I'm a sadist and I do love seeing them like that. XD
Ah....I forgot to place a bite scene.....dang, though you missed something, it was punch, slash, dodge, kick, stab. :lol:
Black was pushing herself to her limit, she did want to survive, if she died there without a fight, who knows what happens.....at least she tried though even if she did failed.
You're very keen! Yep, Gekikara didn't dodge at all, which I picked up from MG, wherein Geki just takes all the punches, though she counters them back with a much more fiercer attack. :roll:
I know, I need to explain things, whether who gets stabbed there, no matter what the outcome goes...hehehe...and I do intend to explain why and how they got stabbed, whoever does get it. I won't leave it unexplained. ;)
I think your on neutral. :lol:
Hahaha, read it when you want, its not like it'll run away anyways. But yeah, that's much more preferable, to just read one fic first because sometimes the plots get mixed up. :lol:
Thanks for everyone's comments and thank yous!
Hello to all my readers there who's reading and following this fic.
See you guys around, gonna update.........whenever I get it written down. Was busy these week, fangirling over AKB0048, you guys should try watching it if your into anime. It's good. :thumbsup Also, I was out shopping some stuff for college and I just got my glasses. To be honest, I'm wearing em right now while my hair is tied up like Black's loosened side pony hairstyle. Hahaha. :lol: It looks wtf seriously.
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A/N: Gonna post a one-shot! Consider this as something to relax you a bit after Chinmoku, I mean the fight and all was intense and with all the drama, I'd like to have a bit of a break. :lol:
Anyways, since I don't have any comments to reply to since I've done it, let's go with this shot, I hope you enjoy reading, and I hope it serves to calm a bit of the feelings you've had after reading Chinmoku.
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A Break Time
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One-shot
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A sigh escaped from cherry red lips, chin propped on a hand with her brows knitted together; a small visible cute frowning pout on her face; that was descriptively what the youngest Rappappa heavenly queen’s expression was at that current moment.
Patiently or impatiently, she tapped her foot on the floor continuously, staring at a distance before she limply placed her arms on the chair’s backrest, crossing them before placing her chin on them, using it as a support as she sat rather improperly on the wooden chair.
Her eyes were cast far off to another place, somewhere farther than her location, she had her attention currently on only one person, whom was just seating on the red comfortable soft couch in the club’s room, holding onto a black book of a title which she did not know of. The raven was noticeably serene and calm while reading, an emotionless expression evident on her face.
This sight was perfect, beautiful and peaceful; it was as if it were a canvas painted to perfection, she mused, a small smile forming on her lips. She liked it, seeing the older girl in that state, free from any conflicts or pain; it made her heart feel at peace, tranquil and silent as a dormant sea.
She closed her eyes, sighing again, yet this time in relief and content. She snuggled forward to the chair, burying her face into her jacket-covered forearm.
Today was perfect, she decided, it was peaceful, unlike the ordinary days where they had to fight other schools or their own schoolmates.
She was content today, not having to fight for now even as she found excitement and joy in fighting, she preferred her long awaited resting time to be like this, with the older raven queen, even though there was nothing but silence between them, even if there was not any topic or a simple conversation.
She did not mind. She was content this way, she liked the older girl’s company and she was not looking for anything more than what the raven could offer to her.
She only needed her company, to see her and be close to her, even though there were a couple of few feet away from them, this distance was already close enough for her. She did not want to interrupt the older teen anyways, and instead, she only resolved to watch her from afar, admiring her silent beauty.
The sunlight filtered through the windows, lighting up and filling the whole room with its warmth and brightness, it was still early in the morning, way to early even for both of them to be here, seeing as how their attendance nor early presence were mandatory in the school.
The young queen did not mind being up this early in the morning though; she was even keen on coming in early just to get a glimpse of the silent dark queen, knowing that she would come early to spend her whole time in the clubroom and truth be told, it was accurately true.
Gekikara smiled, softly and gently to herself, something which she buried and hid away from Black’s sight, she knew that the older girl was somewhat looking at her direction with a curious and suspicious glance, but she ignored it and kept her face buried on her forearms, acting as if she was oblivious to the older girl’s stare. She did not need to raise her head up or glance at Black’s direction to know, she just had these unfathomable yet pleasant feeling like butterflies was in her stomach whenever Black had her eyes on her, she knew just by that. Yet even though she loves and feels giddy whenever she garners the older queen’s attention, Gekikara could not help but feel a bit self-conscious sometimes.
It was typical, oh so typical for a young teenage girl in love to be self-conscious in the presence of her special someone, and Gekikara found it embarrassing. She would often shy away from looking upright into Black’s eyes, knowing that she would be too absorbed into staring at the raven’s crystal-clear obsidian orbs; she could even stare at it forever and be caught up in a huge blaze of stirring emotions welling in her heart.
Black might not know that herself, but that was just how much power she had over her fellow Rappappa member, whether intention or unintentional, the raven would just send Gekikara’s heart racing into a mad dash, or soaring up, flying like an eagle whatever she does and whenever she pleases.
It was not fair, just being the only one to feel all these emotions and be caught up in the unbarring nets of despair.
She loves her.
She needs her.
She wants her.
She knew just that much, although it did took quite a long time for her to understand it, Gekikara became aware of it, just after the very moment she had asked their beloved president for some answers and advices concerning on the usual upset stomach’s been receiving.
Though at first, she was puzzled of the intent stare she was garnering from Yuko, until their president doubled down and let out a fit of laughter, laughing like a mad woman. It was unnerving at first, being laughed at like that made Gekikara feel humiliated, but she did not do anything about it and just pouted, arms crossed while she patiently waited for their president to stop laughing and wipe the tears off her eyes.
After then, Yuko apologized to her, although still sputtering out some giggles every now and then, she did gave her some coherent answers, which the older girl explained to her in a manner that she could cop easily.
Although it confused Gekikara at first of what Yuko had told her, she had taken it well, and as days pass by with her mixed emotions for the older raven still intact, Gekikara understood them, the meaning of what Yuko had tried to convey to her.
Little by little, Gekikara learned to realize that she had been taking extra special attention of Black, even from the way she sat, to the way she held on her book until the way she walked or ate. Even the littlest changes, she could easily seem them even just by a glance.
She was caught up, too wrapped up even with everything about Black. Black herself did not seem to mind nor pay any deep attention towards Gekikara’s actions, she just merely shrugged them off, already having been used to being around Gekikara and her weird movements to even care of that little change, or so, Gekikara thought.
The younger girl did not mind either, she was far too happy and pleased with just being around the raven’s side, either near or far by just a few feet away, but sometimes, just sometimes, Gekikara wished that Black would notice her affections, even just once.
She knew it was selfish to ask, knowing how much stress and pain Black had went through, Gekikara was already content with simply being around Black, but sometimes her thoughts would carry off into ‘what ifs’ and whenever she thought of it, sometimes Gekikara wished that she was not the only one in love.
‘I love you…Black.’
‘I love you so much…’ Gekikara let out a deep breath and slumped her shoulders, nuzzling her face as farther as she could into her arms.
She did not want to think of it, knowing that her thoughts would end up going into something far worse and depressing, yet amidst all the pain that her emotions was steering up inside her body, amidst all the confusing and mixed up jumbled feelings in her heart, there was one thing that made her feel happy and warm.
It was the feeling of loving someone.
Though the whole process itself was still unfamiliar to Gekikara, she was willing to learn more, if it meant that she would able to treat the older girl more properly, like a princess of a sort, just as much as she deserved it. Maybe then, she might be able to make Black love her, just as much as she does.
Maybe, just maybe…yet even that small glimpse was enough for Gekikara to hope, even though it was only by a few percentages high.
‘Someday…’
‘I’ll make you feel that way…Yuki.’
Gekikara smiled to herself, the thought was pleasant, it made her giddy, warm, happy and determined, it was just a simple little thought, yet it made her feel so much worth of joy.
Was this the power of love?
If so, it was a real deep mystery, how love works.
The young queen exhaled softly while she closed her eyes, her smile never fading from her lips as she let darkness invade her sight as she used it to clear off her thoughts of anything and everything as much as possible.
It was brief, but when Gekikara closed her eyes, she felt her senses blur for a moment, her mind starting to be induce to sleepiness. It was only in a matter of seconds did she fell asleep, silently being pulled into oblivion.
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Silence was daunting, short and inconstant yet eternal at times, time seems to pass by slowly at that point and everything seems to stay in place just as the short constancy of this silent time span remains, she liked it that way, this kind of silence. It was peaceful and clear; there was simply nothing boisterous or eventful, be it tragic or comedic in a sense, people might find it boring and dull, but she appreciated every chance she could take in this short span of silence. Though it might last for only a few minutes, it seemed almost eternity.
Black often liked to spend her days like this, tranquil and uneventful, normal even as what someone would say. She did not mind it even if all of her days were to be frequently like this wherein she would just sit in one place and read her book without any disruption, not having to worry about anything at all, yet there was something that was unnerving.
Although Black did not want to admit it or show it, she was utterly disturbed with the occasional glances and stares that she was receiving, much less from a certain young companion she had. Though at first had just taken it just a curious gesture from the shorter girl, it had worried her immensely when Gekikara’s eyes continued to stare at her, silently even.
It was nerve-wracking, there were multiple mixed up feelings shimmering and surfacing in her heart, she felt bothered, it was like her heart was constricted, it was tight and hard to breath, it made her feel nervous and overly self-conscious.
She started to wonder what exactly did Gekikara wanted, yet she kept silent, hoping that maybe the younger girl would stop or either, ask her of something, but to Black’s on disappointment, it never happen.
Black mentally sighed in her head, it was becoming unnerving, just how much Gekikara had been eyeing her, not that she wanted to protest about it because it was only natural to stare…or so she wished it was. Besides that, it was not that Gekikara was having any bad intent on her, which she knew for sure that the younger girl could never have.
Even so, she still continued to ask the same question: Why was she staring at her?
The answer itself was vague, and although she had been itching on wanting to ask the question, the raven kept herself from doing so and instead, she continued with reading, or so she wished she could call it.
It might have looked like she was reading intently, but to be precise, she was only staring at the words in her book intently, idling flipping to another page, only to stare at it again. The older queen just found it hard to read even a single word, as nothing would enter her mind at all.
Black pursed her lips into a tight line, the raven tapped her foot impatiently on the floor, her mind already feeling tired from keeping her act and her body itching to move; it was only a matter of time when she gets up and run away, far enough from Gekikara and her intent gaze, it was brain wracking after all.
The raven took a quick glance to her left, only for her eyes to widen and her mouth to open in silent wonder and awe. Black did not look away, she just stared, silently gawking to herself as her hold on her book loosened.
Black felt breath caught up in her throat, her heart madly and wildly beating in her chest, it was hard to breath, not when her mind was not cooperating with her, not when her body did not want to move. However, she could not blame herself, not when she was seeing a sight that was perfect, ethereal and beautiful; it was like a well-painted canvas.
Basking in the morning sun, was the younger queen, her head resting on her forearms, eyes closed, sleeping soundly yet a smile etched on her perfect face. The silent dark queen could not help herself but to stand up and approach Gekikara, lost in her own thoughtless mind as her body moved on its own, carrying her closer to the sleeping queen.
She let out a sigh, running her hand through her hair as she stared at Gekikara sleeping on the chair. It was awkward and uncomfortable to look at the younger girl sleeping in that kind of state, especially when the younger girl did state that she had back problems.
Worried, Black tried to carefully pry off Gekikara’s arms off the backseat before she carried the insane queen in her arms, bridal style.
Fortunately for Black, Gekikara was light, even though she had seen the younger girl eat quite a lot, maybe twice even, and second, she was still sleeping, heavily even, only to move a bit, wrapping her arms around Black’s neck, pulling the older raven’s face close to hers.
Black’s eyes widened in surprise, her mouth agape, blood started to rush to her head, preferably to her cheeks, tinting it with a bright pink color.
‘W-Wha…’
Black stared at Gekikara, nervous and fidgety all of a sudden, the thought of Gekikara waking up anytime to see her holding her like this would surely embarrass Black. Although she was close with the younger girl, being close by means of physical intimacy was not the norm for Black as she tried to establish some distance, even from her fellow Rappappa members and Gekikara as she was still not used in handling them, and yet here she was…intimately carrying Gekikara.
It was laughable, yet Black did not seem to mind the close proximity between her and Gekikara, and for some reason, it bothered her.
Black quickly walked off, towards the couch that she had been sitting a while ago, slowly and carefully placing Gekikara on the couch, her head on her pillow. Gekikara immediately unwrapped her arms from Black’s neck and turned to her side, her lips forming in a pout, snuggling further into the pillow that Black laid out for her.
Black took a step back and brushed off the sweat threatening to drip off her forehead, smiling softly at the cute sight of Gekikara’s pout. She kneeled down, staring closely at the younger girl’s face, suppressing a giggle when she poked the younger girl’s cheeks, earning a small whimper from the insane queen.
It was cute, awfully too cute seeing her like this, it was unusual and Black found it a refreshing change. She did not even know that Gekikara had this kind of side of her.
Drawn in, propped her elbow on the edge of the couch, placing her chin on her hand while she stared at Gekikara’s face, trying to remember the littlest yet finest details about Gekikara: porcelain pale white skin, cherry pink lips, a cute nose, long black eyelashes and the evident scars above her eye brow and on her eyelid. Her luscious black silky tresses also seemed appealing and oh so inviting to touch, it seemed so soft.
Unconsciously, Black reached up and touched Gekikara’s hair, and true to its image, Black felt awed, marveling at its soft silky texture in her hands, it even smelled nice, the scent of sweet strawberry lingering. Her hands slowly trailed down to touch the insane queen’s cheek, caressing her soft warm flesh with her thumb in a circular pattern before she brushed Gekikara’s bangs to the side, tucking the stray hair behind her ears.
Black felt herself suck in a deep breath, the hand on her side closing into a tight fist as she clenched her skirt. She drew closer, leaning a bit, enticed with Gekikara’s natural beauty, Black felt like a bee being drawn in by a flower’s sweet golden nectar, and the younger queen just had that same effect on her.
Unable to restrain herself, Black did was she was not supposed to do.
She leaned in and pressed her lips on the sleeping queen’s own lips, reveling in the softness of Gekikara’s cherry pink lips. Black felt breathless, yet even with that, her shoulders relaxed, the pain in her chest slowly disappearing, only leaving the feeling of something stirring in her stomach, lurching quite pleasantly while her heart felt warm and fuzzy.
The effects on her was different, it was far from displeasure, it was higher than satisfactory, yet she could not place it into words, the feeling was amazing and right even though what she was doing was oh so entirely wrong…
Gekikara slightly twitched, groaning and mumbling out muffled and incoherent words, startling and alerting Black. The older queen quickly jerked back and withdrew herself, moving away, far from Gekikara as much as possible, afraid that any moment the younger girl would wake up to see her too near.
Luckily enough, Gekikara did not wake up, and instead, continued to sleep. Her slumber a bit too deep for a casual nap, Black let out a relief sigh, relaxing her tensed shoulders, only for her body to stiffen again as she realized something.
A frown immediately appeared on her face as she realized this something.
Black’s eyes widened at the blatant realization, slowly raising her hands, trembling slightly as her fingers touched her lips; her mouth fell agape, forming a small ‘o’.
Black quickly retrieved her hands and instead, placed it on her cheeks, cupping them as she felt the warmth seep through her cold palm. Black looked down and stared at her lap, her browns knitted together.
‘Why…’
‘What…was I doing…?’ Black asked herself, closing her eyes tightly as she tried to shut off reality, letting darkness to enter her sight of vision as she focused to calm herself, only to fail immensely as the raven’s cheeks were still warm and flushed.
Embarrassed by her earlier impulsive actions, she turned her head to the side. The older queen placed her hand on her side, slumping down the floor in a sitting position with her head bowed down.
Why did she do that?
What was the reason why she suddenly acted unconsciously?
Why did it felt right to just go ahead and touch Gekikara? Without her consent and proper permission even?
It was all trivial questions, questions that only her heart could answer, yet Black only focused on her mind as she tried to find a logical answer, only to receive none.
Black pursed her lips and looked up, looking at the younger queen, fast asleep in a deep slumber, fragile and weak, unusual even as Gekikara often had this image that sent people running off combined in with her deadly and vicious aura. This however was different, the image sent Black’s heart palpitating hard that it hurts somehow.
Black frowned at the unexplainable feeling pounding and welling in her chest as it nagged for attention. She placed a hand on her chest gazed down, brows knitted together as her mind slowly processed one thought in her mind.
The raven queen’s cheeks immediately flushed into a deeper red, Black’s expression mortifying into an unexplainable one, her face twisted into an embarrassed expression that crossed between a grimace and a frown, it was combined and Black was not sure of what exactly she looked like at that moment. It was just as mixed up as her feelings right at that moment.
Feeling fidgety and awkward, Black swiftly stood up from her pleasant sit on the cold hard floor and left quickly. She closed the door as quietly as she had opened it, but not before taking one last quick check on Gekikara. Once she saw that the younger teen was still in her deep slumber, Black strode off to an open space where she could take a breather and to possibly cool of her flushed cheeks.
----
The sun was still shining brightly when Gekikara woke up, yet it had a different hue, it was much more darker than from awhile before, she thought in bemusement as she slowly sat up, yawning into her hand while her other rubbed the sleep off her eyes.
She looked around, curious, looking around for a certain someone, only to be disappointed that she did not spot even the older teen’s shadow. Sighing, Gekikara slumped her shoulders forward and grumble something under her breath, swinging her legs to the side of the couch, letting her boots touch the floor with a soft clicking sound, which resounded in the room.
It was quiet and still, also lonely, Gekikara frowned, wondering to herself why there was no one present around.
Huffing, Gekikara scratched her head, puffing her cheeks as she pouted cutely in frustration. She lowered her gaze, looking intently at her lap before noticing something weird.
Gekikara instantly turned around and checked the item that she was lying on, and to her own shock, she was sitting on the couch, where she had last seen Black before she had fallen into the depths of sleep. The young queen blinked a couple of times, confused why she was there.
When Gekikara was about to open her out to voice out her question, she was only to be cut off by the sound of the door opening, quickly, averted her attention and placed it towards the door, watching as she saw the silent dark queen enter the room. Black quickly closed the door behind her, her eyes gazed down on the floor, and when she looked up her, it immediately perked her when she saw the younger girl wide-awake, staring at her.
“You're wide-awake…” Black silently mumbled, looking away immediately before Gekikara could even establish eye contact with her. The raven shifted nervously under Gekikara’s gaze, uneasily, she tried to adjust her standing position to balance out her weight, causing some rustling sounds coming from the plastic bag she was carrying.
“Did you just woke up?” Black asked, walking towards Gekikara.
“Unn…” Gekikara bobbed her head, eyes still focused on Black when the older girl merely answered back with a hum and even whilst when the older raven walked forward, towards her. She curiously watched Black, fascinated and enchanted by the older girl’s gracefulness, eyes trailing over the raven’s body as she slowly stopped in front of Gekikara, presenting her a plastic bag.
“I bought you food while you were asleep.”
“Eh…? A-Ahh.” Gekikara stared at the bag dumbfounded, taking the said item from Black before mumbling a small thank you.
It took her by surprise. It was not normal for the older girl to currently present her food, much less offer her one, that unless there was a good excuse for it, but now that she did, it struck Gekikara hard in her heart. It just made her heart race, just simply receiving something from Black.
Gekikara stared at the bag, unable to look at Black as she hid her flushed cheeks from the older girl, faking her actions as she uninterestedly fumbled with the bag, scanning through the food that Black had given her, her eyes immediately sparkled in delight at the certain treats inside. Gekikara quickly picked up one and held it up high a large smile on her face.
“Wah! It’s a melon pan!” Gekikara exclaimed in happiness and glee, which somehow caused a small smile to form on Black.
“It is.” The older raven shortly replied, making herself comfortable as she took a seat beside Gekikara, only a few distances away from her.
“What’s with you, did something happened?”
“You suddenly bought me food…” Gekikara turned her attention back to Black, a brow raised up while she questioningly gazed the older girl, watching Black as she picked up her book and opened it.
Black glanced at Gekikara, staring at the younger girl waited for her answer, she looked away and pursed her lips, the side quirking up a bit.
“Nope…nothing happened particularly…”
“Are you sure?” Gekikara pouted, placing a hand on the older girl’s shoulder, grasping it softly. Black merely looked back and offered a small smile at the younger queen before turning back to her book, mumbling her reply, “I’m very sure…you don’t need to worry about it.”
“Uuu…”
Gekikara crossed her arms and frowned, not particularly agreeing to Black’s answer and was about to ask again, only to shake her head, keeping her mouth shut as she decided not to ask the older girl, seeing as how she did went through the trouble of getting her food and all.
The younger girl sat down properly and peeled open the plastic wrapper, shoving the sweetened bun to her mouth as she took a bite at its crispy and warmth, the texture rich and flavorful in her mouth. She sighed in content and continued to eat to herself, lose in her own little oblivion.
Gekikara continued to eat silently, unaware that Black was staring at her the sooner she took in a big bite.
Black smiled from behind her book, shrugging her shoulders as she sat back on the couch, feeling at ease with Gekikara’s company. Her heart was still warm and fuzzy at it had been when she had left the room, but there was something that changed.
She was enlightened a bit from her walk, finally figuring out all the feelings that was coursing around her body after being able to rearrange her thoughts properly, and though Gekikara still made her feel excessive and weird emotions in her heart and stomach, Black was not that all too irritated about.
She had already come to a realization, though that little realization that she had found was all too sudden, Black would let it be hidden in the dark for a bit more, finding it far more proper to right herself, both her past and her current state before acting out.
Maybe after she readies herself, she might confess…
Someday; maybe…just maybe in the near future.
----
End
----
<<------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->>
A/N: Btw, if your wondering whether this somewhere related in Chinmoku, it may as well be, but its around before their senior year, and as the title says too, this two are currently having a break, a day off from fighting, even yankees get tired once in a while from fighting you know. If you are also wondering where the others are, let's say they didn't come to school or are just out wandering instead of being caged up in the room.
Anyways, thanks for reading, see you guys around.
(EDIT: Corrected some errors and changes somethings to correct some of my fail grammar....dunno if I got them all though.)
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Me! First again! #onmywaytoanothertownforstudy
*squealing on the train*
An update! Yeah!! =3
Will edit this post.. In 15-20minutes..
*squealing again*
*noticed that the passangers glancing at me confused*
*look down and read the story trying hard not to grin or squeal*
===========================================
I want to try something new when I comment. I hope you enjoyed it. LOL
At the train
HaeJin's POV
'A new story from sieka-san!!' I grin unconciously when I glaced at my old blackberry's screen
'I wonder what's this story', I hit the last post button and waiting for the webpage to be loaded
'A one-shot? Break time? I wonder which pairing..', as I walked down the cabin, looking for a nice seat
'It's yukirena!! My prediction is correct!', I sat at the corner seat in the number 3 cabin.
'I'll comment first then.', typing furiously in my phone
after a few minutes..
'Now, it's time to read'
*read* *read*
'A black book? Bible?'
'Rena is so cute.. '
'So the gekikara can be like this too.. Why I imagine gekikara's cute pout' *grinning*
*looking around see if someone noticed me grinning*
*read again*
'Yah! Just said that you love her Rena' *frustated* *still grinning*
*still trying to imagine gekikara pouting*
'She must be so cute'
*read*
'LOL yuki!! Gekikara's stare made you uneasy eh?'
*grinning*
*noticed that someone looking at me*
*trying hard not to grin*
*hiding my grin with my hand*
'It's means that you like her yuki!!' *frustated* *still trying hard to hide my grin*
*read the part when yuki lift rena's body*
*squealing*
*notice some passangers looking at me confused*
'Shit.. Sieka-san, this is your fault'
*continue to read*
*read the part when yuki kiss rena*
'Ugggyaaa!!' *grinning from ear to ear*
*doesn't care about other people stare anymore*
*read*
'sheesh!! Those two, just confess!' *frustated* *grinning*
'Ah.. It's finished' *pout* (don't imagine that I'm really pouting. LOL*
'It's so fluffy, now time to comment' *hit the reply button*
*typing*
'Should I write this like a story? LOL'
*laughing silently at my self*
*typing*
'Finished!' Smile proudly at myself
*hit the change button*
'I hope you write something like this again Sieka-san'
'And thank you for made me smilling and grinning like an idiot in public place. LOL'
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lol, I think we can definatly say this was a bit of a change from Chinmoku! :lol: still as you say, nice to have a break....
Aww, poor Geki, not being able to tell Black about her feeling, even kinda creeping Black out what with staring at her all the time and stuff..... Seems as though Black however figures it out...... or should I say that Black's body going into automatic solved it for her when Black could not help but kiss Geki and only fully realizing what she had done afterwards....
At least it seems as though black has accepted what feelings she has for Geki though, even staring at Geki at places in the end, I wonder if Geki will notice, just like Black did.....
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It's so cute how Black kissed Gekikara~
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A/N: Gonna post another one-shot. Been doing a lot of them lately because I need a break from Chinmoku. There's also another one-shot in coming, though I'm still writing it down. Don't mind me posting this one-shots though, I just do as I please.
Replies:
@bochang - Oppa, you sure are weird, though you're also entertaining and funny. :lol:
The story format comment was refreshing to weird, though it made me laugh a lot. It's not my fault that you were grinning like an idiot, you read it yourself, not my fault. :lol:
@oddball - Yep, its a nice break. :) Hahaha, your mind doesn't realize it but your heart already does, Black has it that way, so you're very right. Geki noticing is a 50-50. 8)
@kahem - I know! I was squealing myself when I wrote that part. :cathappy:
@anzai48 - I'm glad I inspired you to change. 8)
Hahaha, its a game of.....I dunno, really, I don't think their playing at all.
Black being tsundere is a win win situation to see, I think Gekikara would love that, if only she knew.
Yeah, I noticed that two, if its Mayu or Geki, Yuki's often the one who initiates the carrying or being the lead, not that I mind, hehehe, though I think Geki would have done it too, if she were any stronger than Yuki. Also, Sae fits the part of carrying Yuki, I can't imagine Yuki carrying Sae. :lol:
I was planning to extend it, like have Gekikara wake up, half-asleep, thinking that its a dream, she'd suddenly wrap her arms around Black's head and pull her closer, kissing Black back, but then again......that would be too much of a sticky situation when Black tries to get out of it, so I went against it and ended it with a short quick kiss. :)
I'm glad you felt that way, hahaha, I was really aiming for it to at least give you some break from all the angst and the darkness of Chinmoku.
And that ends my replies, thank you for all the thanks and comments!
Let's move on with the one-shot. I hope I did well..........I hope.
<<------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->>
Arigatou
----
One-shot
----
I’ve never told of anyone before, of my fears, I know its human nature to fear for something, but I can’t shrug off this feeling that I might as well be paranoid because of this feelings that are locked up inside my heart. These certain fears of mine that always creeps into my heart each time I wake in the morning, they always leave me feeling the aftermath of painful waves inside me.
Every day I dread for the time when everything would fall into this… The fear that has long been eating away on me has finally appeared.
~o~
Everyone loses something
Before they even realize it
I suddenly realize that you’ve gone
~o~
The memories of you standing there in the center, tearing up while making your announcement has been repeating inside my head, just like a broken video tape for the past few days.
It hurts, it hurts to know that you would leave, it leaves me restless and depressed and somehow, it discourages me. I know you’re also hurt, I know that you’re sad and heartbroken, everyone else was, but it isn’t anyone’s fault.
I know you’ve thought of it thoroughly, we’ve talked about it already; I can’t ask you nor convince you to stay no matter how much I want you to.
I’ve always been afraid of when this time would rise. I’ve always been afraid, ever since the day we’ve become close and our feelings grew for one another.
I can’t tell anybody of this, knowing that if I let this fear defeat me, what would be of the other members? I don’t want them to be anxious or bothered, I want to support them fully and help them to the best of my abilities.
I am a leader; this is my duty and my role. I need to be strong, not just for everyone’s shake, but also for me, and for you.
I know you have your own fears and insecurities, everyone does, that’s why I want to strong so that I can help everyone, I want to support everyone with all my full strength, I want to show you that I can help you and lend you a hand.
I want to be your shoulder to lean on. I want to be light. I want to your guide; there are many things that I want to be. I just really want to be everything that you want and need. I know it’s silly, I know it’s childish, but I want to everything. I want to give you the same support as what you’ve always given me.
We’ve known each other way back since day one, you’re the first person that became a part of my life, you’re far too precious to me. We’ve been together through thick and thin from the very start of our career. We had it hard, we’ve went through many challenges and tribulation to get to where we are now.
You don’t know how much I appreciate how much you’ve helped me, you’ve been a great friend to me for the past few years, you’ve been my pillar of support and when everything gets tough, you’re always there beside me.
I want to do the same for you.
I want to be there for you no matter what happens.
Say…
I wonder…
Do you still remember those days of hard rigorous practices? Do you still remember those days where we cry over our own failures and success?
I remember them, just as if they had happened yesterday.
Remembering these memories, they leave a smile on my face. I can see how much we’ve grown and improved over everything we did, it leaves a warm feeling inside my chest. I treasure every memory we made, they are like a part of me, or so, I’d like to say.
I know it’s silly, you might say so as well, but I’m serious about it.
~o~
Leaving behind only memories
Amid the happiness, we lost our words
Like dolls
Like all those lost cats on the street corner
~o~
It saddens me to know that you would leave; I don’t know when since it’s still undecided when you would leave, but even then, it leaves a bitter taste inside my mouth, knowing that our days together are numbered, knowing that you would leave sooner-or-later after your announcement.
I still want to be with you, six and a half years is still not long enough, I crave for your companionship.
‘Please stay. I don’t want you to leave.’
I want to say those words, but I’ve already come into terms, I must accept and respect your decision.
I’ve already decided on it, is what my mind would often tell me, I did tell you that I would support you, didn’t I?
On that very same day, in front of the whole crowd, I cried and held your hand as we walked away from our friends. Each step we took, each time your hands grasp tightened around mine, I felt my heart break slowly into small crumbs.
I cried hard, I felt your hand tremble in mine, I glanced at you and I saw you looking at me with sadness in your eyes. I felt my body start to feel heavy, it’s almost hard to breathe now, seeing you look at me like that, yet a smile curved up on your lips, even though it seemed forced, even though I know you can’t smile in this kind of situation, you still tried.
Tears continued to flow down my cheeks, I bit my bottom lip and smiled at you before I look forward, grasping your hand tightly in mine while we walked forward to the center.
The crowds’ cries were deafening to the ears, I could not even distinguish the sobbing, wails or screams of support from our fans, all I knew is that they were all shouting and crying.
I felt you halt; it made me stop all the same.
I turn my body so that I am facing you, I smiled at you amidst the tears, amidst the sadness and the overwhelming mixed emotions that I have been feeling ever since the start of this concert.
I have my own regrets, maybe because I can’t stop you, maybe because I’ll lose you and maybe because I’ve yet to fully express how much grateful I am and how much I love you. I know I can’t express them with just simple words because I know that words aren’t enough to express everything I feel for you so it dawned to me that if words aren’t enough, then I’ll put them into action.
I squeeze your hand softly, making you look at my way.
You gazed at me in confusion, your sparkling eyes reflecting the spotlights, making them shine like jewels; your eyes, they looked like precious fragile glasses. I’ve always loved how fully they express your emotions well, and I’ve come to love them more every time I gaze at you, even right now, even though they sparkled due to the tears building up in your eyes, even though you look so heartbreakingly beautiful right now, I still love them.
Yet it pains me, because I know of what’s to come.
There’s already a voice, screaming inside me, telling me and discouraging me. I can hear it very well, that weak side of me deep locked away inside my heart.
~o~
I hear a silent scream
~o~
It hurts, my heart, it hurts.
I don’t know how the future will become without you beside me, without you as my pillar of support. I can’t just imagine a day without you, I’ve always thought you would be here until the end of our generation, the end of AKB48, but I guess that won’t happen now.
It hurts me.
I can’t tell you how much I’m discouraged about your decision because I know that you’ve thought it well, I know that you thought of us and took each and every one of our feelings into consideration, I just can’t tell you that I don’t like your decision.
It’s bitter, we’re going to part soon, after all these years of being together, this sadness is eating away a portion of my heart, yet I stood up strongly, trying to be your pillar of support. I know that you are also hurting as well, I know that it’s hard for you to part from us, but you have to, for a reason we all just know as you wanting to fulfill your dreams by yourself in this cruel world we’re in.
~o~
If I could see you one more time
I just want to say one word: thank you, thank you
~o~
I love that part of you, yet it hurts, knowing that you won’t back down on your decisions.
I know I will never be able to gaze at you again like this once that time comes when you have to part from us, from me. Although the time of your graduation has yet to be decided, it hurts me deeply.
I’ve still yet to say I love you.
I know you’ve told me those three beautiful words to me for multiple times already, yet I’ve yet to do the same to you. I’m thankful, of your affection, of everything you’ve given to me, from support to love, but I can’t help it, you know me as the cool boyish Takamina. Saying those words…I’m shy about it, it’s embarrassing, but if I let this moment pass by, then I might not be able to see you again.
I don’t want that to happen, I want to be with you. I want to see you again…even after we part, even though it hurts, I still want to see you again.
I know that I’m being selfish, I know that this thing that I wished for was something selfish, but let me act this way, even just for once. I want to be with you, even after this, I don’t want to let you go even though I know that I’m hurting, even though a lot of people already told me to give up, knowing that when you completely leave and disappear from the group, the circumstances of us communicating and connected are impossible.
I still want to hold onto you and even if you’re to leave now, I don’t want to give up. Even though the pain feels like a rose’s thorns prickling over my skin, I’ll still hold onto you tighter, even if I end up bleeding, even if it kills me even.
I still want to hold onto you, forever if possible. It doesn’t matter whether I’m hurting, whether I’ll suffer from this in the end. I just want you in my life; I want you to stay in my heart.
~o~
Even if I get hurt sometimes
I want to keep feeling you
At least I have my memories to comfort me
I’ll always have you here
~o~
I still remember the day when we held a short party after the success of our concert. Although it was meant to be a happy one, everyone held gloomy and sad feelings in their hearts after your announcement, I know you did not meant any harm in trying to make everyone feel that way that’s why you tried to apply yourself into the party, something you don’t do.
You tried your very best to make everyone smile and laugh, I watched you from the sidelines, smiling happily as you successfully did so, though it pained me, I tried to enjoy the night.
The party ended quickly though as we had more jobs to do and everyone parted ways, we all left the building, parting ways as we waved goodbye. I still don’t want to go though. I didn’t walk away, and instead, I walked with you.
Side by side, we travelled down the road in that cold night, silence floating between us. I glanced at you for a moment and held my breath, startled as you’ve had your eyes on me, looking at me with a sad eyes, yet a smile was on your sweet cherry pink lips.
I frowned, stopping myself from taking another step, I ended up stop walking and so did you, but you were a few steps ahead of me.
I stared at you, and you did the same, yet your smile never faltered.
“You’re not yourself today…” You told me softly, watching me as I uneasily shifted my body.
“I’m sorry…I just can’t help it.” I mumbled, responding back to your statement, it seemed like a bad and failed attempt of an excuse, but that was how I felt at that moment. Although I knew that this would come soon as you have already talked to me about it a year before, that happening now had weighed me down. I can’t just exactly go back to being cheerful as if nothing happened. I just can’t.
“Don’t be. It’s not your fault.”
I looked away, smiling bitterly, I know.
I know…
Yet I can’t stop myself from feeling sad.
“It’s my fault, I’m sorry I made you feel this way.” You told me, your voice sound constrained and weak, trembling even. I felt angry, hearing you blame yourself; I clenched my hands into fists, both of which were on both of my sides, I tried to steel my resolves as I listen to you as you continued on talking.
“I know I’m hurting you right now just because of my decision, but I hope you could support me…”
“It’s fine…if you’re angry at me. You have the right to be after all.” You forcibly laughed. I know you were trying to keep positive, even after the concert ended and after the announcement. Hearing you say that now is just hurting me much more, I don’t want you to carry down the weight, the weight of hurting me.
“Don’t say it like that!”
“I can never be angry at you…” I told you, my eyes staring down at the ground, gritting my teeth tightly as tears flooded my vision, and slowly, they started to fall, cascading down my cheeks, droplets continuously streaming down.
“I can never hate you, nor can I blame you…”
“I can’t do that…”
“And even if I wanted to, I’ll never do that…”
“You know that I’m always behind you…I’ll support you all throughout the way.” I said in between sobs. I looked up at you when I said those words, staring at you fiercely; I wanted to get the point across.
“It pains me though to know that you’re to leave…knowing that you won’t be here…in the next years to come. The thought of you disappearing hurts…”
“…I don’t want that to happen.” I sobbed, admitting the painful truth in front of you. I know that my emotions was stirring me into acting based on what I feel at this current moment, but I don’t care, even if I look weak and fragile in front of you.
Just once, just this one time, let me be the person you see right now, weak and helpless, hoping yet fearing and dreading.
I just want you to know what I feel.
“Minami…” You called my name softly, catching my attention, looked up to you and watch as your hand reaching up to my face, slowly wiping off the tears before I saw you lean in and press a quick kiss on my forehead.
I stood there startled at what you did, my tears slowly coming to a halt at the suddenness of your gesture.
You smiled happily, looking relieved before you turned away, glancing to your right, a hopeful and determined expression in your eyes.
“…Even though I’m to leave AKB soon, I’ll never disappear.”
“I’ll always be around.” You turned your attention back at me and grinned, crossing the remaining distance between us as you held me, pulling me into a tight hug. I felt you bury your nose onto my hair, sighing, pleased as you kept me close.
I felt myself at peace, near you, in your arms.
I heard you hum, pleased when I leaned forward into your arms, your hands finding its way to my hair as you combed it with your fingers, comfortingly stroking me.
“…No matter how far apart we may be, I’ll still always be with you, Minami.”
“So please be at ease…”
“I’ll always remain here…inside your heart.”
“And so will you be, inside mine…”
You slowly broke the embrace, looking at my faces, a lovely large smile on your face as you stroked my cheeks tenderly, wiping off the tears that remained before you leaned in and pressed your lips on my forehead, sighing in content. I closed my eyes and let the radiance of your kiss stay on my forehead, I could feel my heart beat twice fast as the norm and my cheeks warm and flushed, but it felt nice and pleasant, I feel so fuzzy, safe and secured.
It was as if I was wrapped around your warmth, and these feelings that you make me feel, I want it to remain for all eternity.
I want it to stay that way.
So even if it hurts, I’ll try to endure it, if it meant that you’ll still be here, even if not beside me, but instead, in my heart.
I let a small smile form on my face, opening my eyes as I raised my head, I watch you shift your position, staring down at me, your lovely smile still in your face, yet your eyes shined brightly of relief and joy.
I leaned forward to you, my arms wrapped around your waist as I pulled you closer to me, dumbfounded as you watch me reel you forward to me, I tilted my head and whispered in your ears, the sweetest of words and my confession of love.
“I’ll never let you go.”
“I’ll always support you until the end.”
“I love you, Atsuko.”
Your eyes widened, cheeks flaming red, mouth agape, but I was rest assured by the tight hold of your hands on my shoulders, before then loosened and I saw you recover from shock. You close your eyes and nod frantically, pulling me into a tight hug, melding our bodies together as you laughed, choking down a sob.
“Thank you…Minami.”
~o~
Even if I get hurt sometimes, I want to keep feeling you
~o~
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End
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<<------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->>
A/N: The paragraphs italized and centered at lyrics from KOKIA's song, Arigatou, just took a bit, not everything because that would make this toooo long. >w<lllll
If anyone's wondering, the type of writing style I used her is 2nd person POV that uses I and You, its different from the 1st person POV which uses I and the name of the person, or the 3rd person POV that sets an all knowing character to see through everything, and even naming the characters by their names.
I hope you enjoyed this shot.......? I did try for this pair.......and this was supposed to be posted long long before, only got to finish it now, sorry.... :sweatdrop:
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Ehhh atsuko dont say "i love you too" aww you are so tsundere acchan
And i think they need a real kiss!!!
Good fic maybe a part 2? Atsuko confession Part
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It's sad T_T but it's warm at the same time. Acchan!!!! T_T
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TT.TT
TT.TT
TT.TT
*Crying* (exaggerated)
It's.. bitter.. and sweet story..
Hmmm..
I almost tear up.. but i can stop myself not to tear infront of those guys in the train. #again
I should learn my lesson.. Not to read any fanfic on the train.. LOL
but it's good! It's SUPERB~!
I love this fic so much!
It makes me wondering though..
what will happened to an AKB without Acchan?
She's not my first oshi, but yes, i will miss her. The girl-next-door is moving away..
The center.. Minami's partner.. TT.TT
The last single.. Manatsu no Sounds Good's PV will be the last time i will saw her with AKB..
*sigh*
yes, but she needs to move on, spreading her wings and fly higher..
i can only hope the best for her, and AKB.
#whatamisaying
thank you for this fic Sieka-san. :D
oh, and thank you for Anzai-san, Sieka-san and Muwi that found my comment amusing.
i just thought about it and without thinking i just typed like that.
and it's a real story bro.
It happened on my way from Jakarta to Depok. (i think anzai-san know this.) LOL
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Just passing by here~ and Decided to check out this OS, since it's my OTP! :thumbup
Wew, This is kinda Sad, But Beautiful at the same time. So, Beautifully Sad? LOL. :P
Acchan's Graduation was a REAL Shock for Fans including me. [Meh Oshi is Acchan, eh]. I was like 'ACCHAN! YOU'RE TOO YOUNG TO GRADUATE.' LOL. :grin: I was expecting it to be Mariko. But, I guess I finally Understand her Decision after... Stalking other's Reaction? :peace: No Tears, anyway. Just a Shock. After Finally Understand, When My friend [Also an AKB Fan] ask me about how I felt about Acchan's Graduation, Then I just said ''Oh well, It's fine. As long as she's still in Idol Industry, I'm still able to support her in a matter of time, right? It's not like she disappear, anyway. But, If she doesn't continue in Idol Industry, Then I'll stop Fangirling on any Idol, I guess?'' XD << [WHO CARES ABOUT YOUR SHITTY STORY, ANYWAY?] Sieka-san said harsly who seems to find my Story, Boring. LMAO :cathappy:
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It's Kiriban time! No updates today, nor any one-shot. :3
Thanks for 7000+ Page views!
This time, this kiriban's special........is a shot again!
My oh my, I already have SacRit last time, but this one is just really.......a one-shot. Right now I'm doing it.
Does anyone want to know the title? I'll tell you! Not that it would spoil my story. And I'll tell you this, I'm doing three one-shots, all of which I'm doing at the same time, funny how I can handle doing that.....
These are the names:
Segenfreude
Beautiful Soul
What Matters the Most is You
Anyone curious which one is the special? Just wait for me when I'll post it. :lol: There's one irking thing though about this titles though, one of them contains smut, its my first time writing smut, so I'm taking my precious time with writing, I want to do my best to get back at two sly teasers here..... *snickering* That aside, Chinmoku is still far from being updated, so sorry to burst everyone's bubbles. :sweatdrop:
BTW, giving out the title doesn't really spoil my story, so I'm not that worried about giving it out. :lol: You can guess the pairings for those three titles if you want, not that I'd tell you whether your right or wrong, because you'll see it when I post the story itself... :lol:
Anyways, gonna reply to everyone's post and link some of my stories before I finish this post.
Replies:
@Haruko - It isn't that Acchan is a tsundere, its just that she was simply happy and thankful that Takamina said "I love you" since Acchan has already said those three words multiple times to Takamina, and not once did Takamina responded back, only now did she said "I love you", so its understandable that Acchan's response would be "Thank you" because finally, Takamina told her the same words. :)
Part two though is a bit impossible to happen because this was specifically just a shot about Takamina's view on Acchan's graduation......so sorry? Thanks for reading though.
@kahem - Hahaha.... *pats*
@bochang - You never really learn oppa, you really shouldn't read fics on the train.....
That question, I wonder too, if Acchan were to leave, who would be the center? And who will fill the space after she leaves? It's sad that she's leaving but if she's doing it to pursue a bigger dream, then it can't be helped, we just have to support her for that right. :)
Hahaha, real story... *snickering* Maybe reading fics on the train isn't bad if its you who does it oppa. :lol:
@Nakamii - Hahaha, I'm not like that! That's rude! :lol: Well yeah, it also did come out as a shock to me as well, at first I thought everyone here would react violently against it, but it seems that everyone's accepting and supporting of Acchan, here's to hoping that she shines more and be an actress and achieve her dreams too.
That's all, so thanks for the comments and thank yous, gonna give you guys the links of the past few posts I did, to those who haven't caught up yet. :lol: This are most of what I've posted for this month...I think? Yeah....just go through them and read them if you like.
Sacrificial Ritual - Preview (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1033294#msg1033294)
Sacrificial Ritual - Part I (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1034226#msg1034226)
Chinmoku - Part IX (BlackGeki) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1037031#msg1037031)
A Break Time - (BlackGeki) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1040090#msg1040090)
Arigatou - (AtsuMina) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1041222#msg1041222)
And again, thank you to everyone for making this thread reach 7000+!
I'm hoping to achieve another Kiriban! Here's to hoping this thread reaches 10000+ views! :cathappy:
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AND THE DEATH COMES TO HER :x dame!!!!!...... :x
I can't Imagine Gekikara killing her beloved Black......
:OMG: :badluck: :err: :fainted: :frustrated: :fever: :gyaaah: :pleeease: :on blackhole: :on polter:
:k-crazy: :k-crazy: :k-crazy:
well..... even there some murderous scene....that I can't Imagine really!!!!
:mon cry: :mon POd: :mon cry:
I admit......your master piece is AMAZING!!!!
:k-great: :pig madder: :glasses: :pig madder: :k-great:
my IMAGINATION really work and it pissed me......off..... you know....
:mon worklate: :mon wtf: :mon worklate:
I imagining that katana? :on voodoo: ....that dumb :mon evil: geki....she never recognized BLACK...because some what demon in her
HEAD!!!???... :on chew:
:mon whimper: :mon hanky: :mon whimper:
well....It pretty much affected me!!! you know
:mon POd:
I'm waiting to your
UPDATE okey.....!!!
:on thumbb: :mon pissed: :on thumbb:
that's all...
and I forgot to say that that take care of course...... :wink:
FLAMEEYES!!!!
.
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I really like the AtsuMina ones (cause is my OTP). The way you write is wonderfull! I enjoy your oneshot so much! Keep working like this *thumbs up*
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Sieka-san!!!!!!
It's been a long time since i commented, but here I am, ready to tell what I think and how I feel.
You know, I always loved the authors who write with a wide vocabulary, awesome plot, whether it's angst, romance or sci-fi. And actually I never pay attention to what kind of pairing it will be (this is in the context, that I read awesome stories even if they do not have the pairing I like and root for) or what kind of story it will be. If it has a good plot, a wide vocabulary and is written in a smooth, easily read style, I would certainly read it and crave for more from that author. That's what kind of author you are to me. I always mentioned some other names alongside your name, but after reading this far and so much, I will dedicate this post only to you and your awesome fics.
I'm not flattering you or anything. I even am not sweet-mouthing. I am just purely voicing what I think, how I feel and in what I believe. It doesn't mean, that I don't read fics that have not such a wide vocabulary or bad grammar. I do, because i myself am not perfect. And nobody's perfect, you know. I always think that my updates could have been better, that they feel rushed, plain, that there are far more better authors than myself, but after i see warm comments from others, I feel that I can continue on.
I think the same goes for you. You have many followers, that love your style, your stories, your plots and everything about you that they know of - including your awesome drawing skills, comments, humor, angst-writing and of course your love for YukiRena/BlackGeki. I myself tend to call you The God of Fanfics, or TGoF, and I find that it really suits you. Because whenever I read your fics, I get too much into them, so I feel like in the main characters shoes, having all the emotions the character feels boiling inside me.
This kind of ability to write in such a manner is a gift I should say - that I noticed some others in this forum having - and I really admire you a lot. Whenever I come to this forum, first thing I do is anticipate any updates of you, or at least comments on other authors' fics. Most of the time - that is, to be precise, 97% of the time - you speak my mind in those comments, so I even don't have to comment, because it would be a total or half the repeat of what you wrote.
I'll repeat again that this is not flattering, because I had these thoughts in my mind for a long time already. I just couldn't be here in this forum and write or update. I was reading everything through my phone in brief moments that I had free in my life between lots of other things. But your updates always made my days, and it has always made me go forward, despite the fact that your updates are pure angst.I never thought I'd say this, but I actually like angst - because of you I dare to say (and some other certain authors). But mostly this influence is by you.
When I won and had to choose the couple, I knew what I want instantly. Because of your writing style I knew you'd write a perfect YukiRena/BlackGeki. It's the second couple I ship after YukoRena, followed by others, including recently up my list going AtsuMina and KojiYuu. But I never thought - and I guess you never did too - that this one shot that you were supposed to write will turn into such a long story. Such an awesome, full of angst, uncontrollable emotions, blood and gore, violence and sad childhood story. But I expected it to be awesome, because like I already said, you are a gifted person, being able to write such smooth scenes, such catching and sucking in plots, with twists and turns unimaginable to our humble minds.
This story has a huge impact on me - and I believe on some others who read it - as you never know how the story will turn. But I love everything about it. It sometimes is hard for me to write what I feel, think or believe in, but after reading your stories... It's like having a huge power inflation into one's heart and mind. OMG, this comment is turning into a monologue!!! anyway, I feel like I'm repeating myself lots of times, or talking nonsense, but this is how I feel, and I just wanted you to know what's on my mind. You know, whenever someone asks me what I am reading now, I'm saying to them, that despite loving books to death, I also started reading fanfics. Well, I was reading them before, but never told people about it.
But actually now I tell not only that I'm into fanfics, but I start talking about how awesome Sieka-san is, how good her stories are, and well...I go straight to flattering you. But I can't stop myself, because your this good. I always feel bad, when your update leaves me speechless. Of course, it's good, that it does, but it's bad, because I can't comment and express what I feel about it. It's always too good to be true, but when you refresh the page, you still see the story in front of your very own eyes. So if you see no comment of mine, know that you left me speechless, in awe and unable to organize my thoughts.
Ahem. Talking about the story, I wonder how it will evolve. I somehow wish that someone appeared and stopped Geki, but on the other hand, knowing you, it'd probably be either Geki hurting Black, or .... herself GOD PLEASE NO. I know it's bad, but I love the triple personality of Geki/Rena and well, even though she's now insane, out of her mind, and not being herself, I was reading the katana+bones+blood+shockedBlack scene with anticipation and well...I was nearly clapping... :err: my first smiley!! All the feelings Rena has built through her childhood and further on - I'm eager to read about it - are really making a favor for her third side, that wants herself dead... And poor Yuki, not knowing what happened to Geki...
I just hope it ends in a bit of positive ending, like Yuki visiting Geki in jail, and talking about future... Because killing a person is not good, so Rena has to get justice, right?... Or, well, you can make her escape the justice in some way JUST DON"T LET HER DIE!!! Somehow I do not mind Yuki/Black dying or being hurt, if that means Rena's realizing what she did, redeeming her actions, and tossing the bad third personality aside. Of course the pain would be hard, but... Okay, maybe not kill, but at least inflict some kind of a wound, so to make her think and return to her true self...
THIS was...a long monologue comment.. The longest I ever wrote... Even some of my updates aren't this long... That's how much I love you, Sieka-san.
I'll be waiting for your updates patiently!!
Your fan forever,
sakura_drop_ :ptam-wub: yay, second smiley!!
EDIT: I forgot to mention, that whenever I feel down, I reread Chinmoku... Just wanted to mention, you know.
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I'm sorry for not updating, and no, I haven't had finished writing Chinmoku, college started for me, so......am a bit busy, I do have a few pages written in, plus I'm currently juggling around 5 shots on my free time, hahaha, don't worry, I'll finish them, just that it'll take time and it'll be very slowly, I guess you can say I'll be going on a semi-hiatus status for now? Dunno, but it might become fully hiatus when midterms strikes, hopefully now. :\
That aside, I'm here to answer to the comments here, especially to sakura-san, who's comment is very long and I feel that I need to write a comment now or else I won't be able to reply in the future. XDDD
@Replies:
@flameeyes - Hahaha, please calm down, hopefully you don't wreck your keyboard when you typed that....
@Suicchin - Thank you. I hope I can write some more AtsuMina fics in the future. :)
@sakura_drop_ - Hello sakura-san, it really has been a while since you've commented, I thought you already disappeared or something. ^w^llll
You're really praising me too much on that, but thank you for dedicating such a long long comment for me, and I know that this is the first time that you've done this, and I was pretty much surprised when I first saw this, since I didn't expect you to comment and second, I didn't expect to get such a long comment either. So really, thank you for taking your time and effort into writing this. I'm not gonna say anything about you flattering me, because I know you'd deny it anyhow, so I don't know, I guess...just thank you for reading my fics, even from in the shadows, it really helps to know that there are still people who reads my fics, I myself am not very confident with writing, I mean every author should know that feeling or at least have gone through that phase...so yeah, I can't shrug that feeling and thought anyways, so forgive me if sometimes I just tend to.....think that you're overly praising me.
I don't really know about followers though, I dunno about that really..........I only know my commenters mostly, other than that, is there anyone else silently reading this? I want to say yes with confidence, but I can't deny that in the back of my mind, I'm doubting about how many my followers are....again with that title, please don't call me TGoF, just Sieka would be fine.
Ahahaha, my fic has that much effect on you? Wow, I'm really happy.....and very appreciative, though I don't really get why you feel like that when you read my fic, basically because when I reread it myself, I don't sense anything, but if it really makes you feel all the emotions the main characters feel, then I'm happy about having to make that effect on you, its quite a big honor for me. Though I don't really think liking angst is pretty......well, good, hahaha, you shouldn't like angsty stuff, but I can't tell you not to like it because I myself have a deep liking for it, but to know that angst makes your day, I dunno how to comment on that....I'm speechless. :3"
Yes, you are right, I never expected Chinmoku to turn into a full blown story, I mean, I was expecting to end it with just a few parts, and not to make it this long.......so lol, it went against my plans because my mind was playing tricks on me. And I still haven't gotten over why you chose BlackGeki instead of YukoRena as a request....it really still sticks in my head. XD
Err, what? You tell people about me? Seems like I'm in danger now huh...omg. XD Being speechless is fine as long as its positive...if its bad, I'm gonna........joking~ Ahh, but you don't need to tell people about me and my writing, like omg, that's......totally, omg, I feel like my life's on the line somehow, hahaha. xDDD
Ohh, you want Rena's killer side to take over and do so many bad things, that's not really a good thing, but lol, that's an interesting comment from you, normally people wouldn't want anything to happen to both of them, unless you're a sadist and all......~
Okay, you are so so thinking of a bittersweet ending, I can't see a jail ending happy......lol, Black would be too devastated if Geki were to be held up again and in jail, she'd take the blame and the fall again, might as well have all the bad says from the other queens...forever to have the feeling of their disappointment. I knew you don't want Rena to die because she's your oshi, but lol, sacrificing Black just so Rena would snap back into reality? That's quite a big sacrifice and gamble dude, much more, it would be taxing and extremely painful for Gekikara, but then again, I like the sound of that.......AHAHAHAHA. *cough*
Thanks for commenting this long!
Thank you really, thank you! It made my day. ^ ^
(Eh? You read angst when you feel down, doesn't that just double the feeling? ^ ^llll)
Thanks to everyones comment, will try to update this week or next week!
See you guys around! Gonna do my best! Fighting Sieka, fighting! >:3
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I n e a r l y d o t h a t ? :lol: :lol: :lol:
sieka-san....I nearly do that I think.....
:mon cute: :mon cute: :mon cute:
huhuhuhuhuhhuhuhu!!!!
:mon exhaust:
well yeah!
:mon worklate: :mon cweepy: :mon worklate:
wreckin my keyboard?......
:mon ignore:
just nearly...
:mon sweat:
ahhahahha
:mon misch: :mon misch:
well your fanfic is really!really!! amazing!!
:hee: :hee: :hee:
hope you right more......and more and more
:mon money: :mon study: :mon money:
well...
:on drink:
I like action.....and horror or some what blood thirst movie/fanfic
:mon headbang: :mon kungfu: :mon woo:
:on voodoo: :on kimbo: :on hobo:
:scolding: :shifty: :err:
:on blackhole: :on polter: :scared:
:on chew: :on freeza: :on beatup :on freeze:
:badluck: :fainted: :mon worklate:
:mon wtf: :mon wtfmm: :mon emo:
:mon zoom: :mon ko: :mon surr:
:tama-piss: :onionwhip: :tama-piss:
but I can't take this one
:pen_cry: :ptam-hbk: :pen_cry:
it torn my heart you know??
:pig cry: :frustrated: :imdead: :frustrated: :pig cry:
they killing each other.....
:skull: :pig madder: :skull:
well....but I accept that
BECAUSE it's a part of the story right?...
:skull: :cat: :pen_wave: :cat: :skull:
well that's all
take always and
keep up your good work you know
:flower: :k-great: :k-hello: :k-great: :flower:
I want you to
surprise me more in
your story :note: :vv: :tntrm: :luvuluvu: :note:
and can I have a
request?...
ahm....
:eyes: :mon whimper: :eyes:
can you write fanfic about
Mariharu paring just oneshot is enough
[I am dying so hard to get some fanfic of them] :lol: :lol: :lol:
ahahhaha....
:mon sweat: :mon sweat:
that's all
:thumbsup
FLAMEEYES!!
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Bloody and messy? Maybe. Or maybe it'll be part of the apocalypse? LOL
The hints...Well... Yeah. You can just let us readers think of anything and troll us by proving what we had concluded, WRONG.
That'll be fun. hahaha
Yeap. I always like angst because they can mean a happy ending for others, and a horrible one for the protaginist(s).
Well...I dearly adore my oshi. Why? Well...Because Gekikara-sama is the reason for making Rena-sama as my oshi.
And maybe...If I ever want to hear a Gekikara laugh, we should give a pack of sodas to Al-nee.
I was creeped out since her laugh nearly sounded as creepy as Gekikara-sama's.
Anyway~! Comments!
Break Time: I love Break Time!
It's really cute and lovely!
Geki-sama liking Black secretly, and being carried like a princess[/i] by the Black-hearted Queen (or is it princess?).
That's so cute to imagine!
If only the scene of Gekikara trying to kill her Black never imprinted itself deep into my mind, then I would have totally fangirled at this fic.
Arigatou: Aww~ A wonderfully-written one-shot! I've never really paid much attention to Atsumina, but reading this made me slightly interested in their pairing even more. Hmm~ If you were to write a part two of this shot...I shall deeply enjoy it!
Thanks for your hard work, Sieka-nee!
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I thought I disappeared too :fainted:
I'm just stating my opinion and feelings, that's all. And I am myself self-critical about what I do and what I write, so I understand you thinking this way ;)
Well, I promise to call you Sieka-san, but only on one condition. Let me call you TGoF from time to time, okay? XD
I myself am not sure whether it's bad or really bad that my mood and mind fuels up after reading your angsty fic... :nervous :nervous
I dunno myself. I guess it's because I myself write YukoRena and I have this clear vision of what their relationship would be like IF they dated or liked each other. And so i chose another couple - that is BlackGeki/YukiRena - because I like your writing style and how you write about them. I guess my choice is encoded in your writing style and ability to convey what your characters feel to the readers. But its just my guess. I just somehow instantly thought I want you to write more of BlackGeki/YukiRena and that's it... :roll:
I tell people about you and your fics because you are awesome. Now three my friends who have no idea who is AKB, just except a few things they heard from me, are reading your fic silently. And they like it the same way I do. One of them likes angst stories, so this is an eye mind candy for him. And the other two, girls, they love it because of the same reasons I do - you make them feel the emotions that your characters are feeling. What can I say? You rock, TGoF-san.
And about the story... As long as you continue writing it, any kind of ending is okay with me. So keep this up, take your time and take care, Sieka-san. ;) ;)
Bye-bye. :mon bye:
P.S. I'm glad my monologue comment made your day :nervous XD
P.P.S. (i wonder why it doesn't double the feeling... :? :nervous I just somehow feel fired up after reading it... :nervous :nervous Oh well... XD)
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A/N: Hi guys! Long time no see? Hahaha, busy with college life and I was busy with my new computer, so you can say I was busy having it fixed up to top shape before I'm able to use it, thankfully, my brother had everything prepared now, so I can continue on with writing.
I'm just here though to present you a small glimpse, just a little for Chinmoku Part X, since its been.....three weeks and a half since I last updated, I'm sorry that I'm taking a long time. X3 I'll try to make it up with some one-shots... :sweatdrop:
Before I let you guys see the preview for Part X, gonna comment first....
Replies:
@flameeyes - I see...easy there then, we wouldn't want you to have to buy a new keyboard now do we? Or maybe I do want you to do that....who knows. XD
Hahaha, I'm glad you like it, but...lol, I thinking them killing is the good part in this fic? Or maybe its just me...? :lol:
Hmm, I dunno if I still have more time to write MariHaru, can't promise it actually. I'll try if I can though, but don't expect please. ^ ^llll
@karomuwi - You really love it bloody and messy huh? XD
You are seriously a sadist you know, but yeah, I can always fool you guys whenever I want with the story... :lol:
It's really Gekikara, well, I'm not surprised. I don't think giving Mint-chan some soda is good, it'll just make her fidgetty and it makes me feel a bit anxious and worried, I don't want that to happen again. If it does, I'll just leave you two alone.
Hahaha, hey hey hey, Break Time happened like a year ago, in their senior time, so...lol, Chinmoku weighs more than Break Time. Can't be helped if you aren't fangirling on it. I like my stories angst to be honest, so I don't really feel that much for Break Time. :lol:
You should try paying attention more to AtsuMina, some stories here about them are good, but I guess it can't be helped, I also just started getting into them again after reading a few fics. I won't make a continuation though, and that's definite, never really intended for a second part for that shot anyways. :sweatdrop:
@sakura_drop_ - Hahaha, you still like the TGoF name? Fine, I can't stop you now, but just as long as you call me more as Sieka than TGoF then we have it settled. ;)
I myself don't know either, I want to know to be honest because mostly angst just makes you angst more when you're sad.....must be the opposite for you huh? Because you end up fangirling afterwards.... :lol:
Hahaha, I guess you are right, looks like my style was made for them, or rather, my mind was programmed to write about YukiRena/BlackGeki. I was shocked when I went too far with writing Chinmoku you know, I really was intending to end it at....Part V or VI, but now its going up to part X, lol, wtf, its like I made a long fic without knowing.... :lol:
That's....nice? I don't know what to say...hahaha, uh, thank you to your friends for reading my fic? ...I don't really know what to say other than that. :sweatdrop: Hmmm....They should get into AKB though too, its a good girl group after all.
Hahaha, I'm not exactly fulfilling your request, that's just so so...what's the use of asking you? But yeah, I'll do it my way, and I'll write it. I'll just try to come up with how to fulfill your request, one way or another...hahaha, in heaven? :lol: :lol: :lol:
Thanks for everyone's comments! Now let's go with the preview! >:3
I'll probably update once I fully get everything in, so for now, I hope this would at least please everyone......if you have questions just ask me or something.
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Chinmoku
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Part X: Preview
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She thought silently in her mind, finding herself unable to open her mouth and speak of those words, knowing that just a simple apology was not enough for her to atone all the misdeeds she had done and wronged against Gekikara.
She closed her eyes slowly in order to obscure the image of the dread that was to come soon down upon her.
A shaky breath escape from her lips, she willed herself, mustering every energy she had left and all the strength she had in order to speak, even though heaven’s forbid her to speak, she tried, just for these one final moment.
A chance to say those words she had hopefully wanted to say at the right time, but needless to say, she never had the right chance to do so.
The former queen opened her mouth as much as she can, whispering between panting sweet words that only meant of love, a longing confession that the younger girl had always wanted to hear.
A confession of love, reciprocated by the one she had held most dearest and important to her heart…
“I…love you…Rena…”
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End of Preview
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A/N: What are you guys thinking? Did that raise some questions? Well, if it did, comment, hahaha. Not like I'd answer them if its something that'll spoil the story. :rofl: Anyways, see you guys around, gonna do some update writing, before I read other authors' updates.
Ja ne! :cathappy:
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uwawawawaawawa!!!
I NEED MOAR!! Don't tease us like that! LOL
you got a new computer?! Uwaahhh..
me want too.. TT.TT
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:cry: :cry: :drool:
plSSSSSSSSSSSSS
update soooonnn
your chinmoku is very good
I am waitng for its update for almost 2 months
I hope you update soon..... :rofl:
I HOPE ITS A HAPPY ENDING!!!
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Yes yes yes, sieka-san, I am fangirling over this story... :nervous XD But how can I not? Afterall, it's BlackGeki/YukiRena we're talking about. AND it's my dearest TGoF, who's writing about them :roll: :roll:
I tried to get them into AKB, but, sadly, the music is not their style. Well, let's be glad that they're reading your stories about them at least. ;)
It's really OK, the story you're writing. It's more than anyone could have expected or anticipated. It's over above all of our expectations, so continue writing what you planned and make the ending how you want (it's angs story afterall, right?) :twothumbs :twothumbs
Chinmoku
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Part X: Preview
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You HAVE to update this. Oc, I'm not hurrying you, Sieka-san, take your time. But still, I am now really anticipating and fangirling MORE than I was before (and before I was already fangirling too much, so imagine me fangirling now... :nervous :nervous :nervous)
I'll be waiting, Sieka-san!!
Yours fan forever,
sakura_drop_
Mata ne! :mon bye: :byebye: :ptam-wub:
P.S. Remember, I once asked you about using your name in a story? Well, you agreed, so you can find it in the Mayuyu in Shoujoland fic ;-)
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Urgh, why are you making us suffer by only giving us a short preview? XD Anyway, I'll continue to wait for your next update :bow:
And hopefully Majisuka 3 is going to give us more Geki/Black-action :)
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risen from the dead is me! the pandah with an imaginary/MAGICAL moustache! *salutes*
haha glad to know im able to make sieka-san laugh 8)
if i threw anything ill probably just damage my screen :lol: a stress puzzle piece is like a stress ball ...only its in the shape of a puzzle piece :D :thumbup
hurray to the insane beast!
thanks for the updates and i also apologise for the insanely short comment ...recovery is slow after exams
but loving every update ~
thanks again! :twothumbs
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A/N: Long time no see! I haven't been around the forums since 2 weeks after college started for me, and I'm still not done with Chinmoku Part X, sorry, was so busy with homework, project and a few college activities. =n =llll I'll try my best to update, I don't know if its this week, or next week, or this month, I'll try, but I won't promise, but for now, I'll give you a new story...since its been in my folder for a long while already. orz
Before the story, gonna have to reply back to the comments first.
Replies:
@bochang - Sorry for teasing oppa, but that's how it works. And yes, I have a new computer...but the down is that I'm busy in college. =A =
@Chikane Himemiya - I want to update soon, and really, I'll try... >n <
@sakura_drop_ - Still TGoF huh? And yeah, I fangirl too when I read YukiRena/BlackGeki. :cathappy: Yes yes, I'll update, I'll update, just don't know when. >n <lll
@inari - I'm sorry for the short update? At least it isn't a troll update. XD And yes, I hope there's BlackGeki in MG 3. :)
@Pandah - Long time no see Panda-chi! >u < How's your mustache? XD Ohh, so its just a puzzle looking piece, I see, I thought it was something else. XDD
It's alright for the super short comment, I understand, I'm just happy to see you comment so its okay. : D Thank you too for commenting. :)
Now that I've commented, it's time for that new story, here goes nothing. X3
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What Matters the Most is You
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Part I
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Pitter-patter.
Pitter-patter.
The sounds of rain pouring down were hard and heavy, as very much evident around the whole town with the clouds shutting off the sun’s light, filling the town with darkness; it was not the time of the rainy seasons, and the sudden downpour caught everyone by surprise as it rained heavily.
The atmosphere immediately became cold and lonesome as people were scattered about to get themselves into buildings or under shades in order to hide from the onrushing downpour, only a few remained as they tread down the streets, using their umbrellas to shield themselves from the rain droplets. Their umbrellas however failed to shield the penetrating and spine-chilling coldness as it easily seeped through clothes, something which a certain young raven mused disappointedly to herself, not totally prepared for this cold climate. She shivered a bit, letting out a small puff of air which slightly misted; with shiver, she held onto her umbrella tightly with one hand rubbing her arms.
“G-Gyuu… I-It’s so cold…” She mumbled, her breath slightly forming again into a white fog, floating up in the air before spontaneously disappearing as if it had never appeared at all. She frowned, a small pout making its way on her lips as she slowly walked, taking small cautious steps as to not aggravate any splattering of rainwater on her clothes as she did not want to soak her clothes due to the unpleasant feeling of wet clothe clinging to her skin.
Thankfully enough, it was evening and she was on her way to the parking lot as she was to head home instead of being on her way to work, something of which she was thankful enough as she could not afford to stay in her office, finding it inappropriate to use her office as a lounge.
The young raven found it to be much more uncomfortable to stay in there, even though she could do so as she pleased. Though the rain was quite troublesome at this moment, she enjoyed it, especially when watching the rain pelt down, soaking everything in sight. Not only that, it was peaceful and quiet outside, almost everything stood still, just as if time had stopped abruptly as soon as the rain started. It felt magical and enchanting, yet fearful with just how much the weather can change everything in a matter of seconds.
Maybe today was a special day, she mused to herself, a small smile playing on her cherry pink lips. Today might be the day wherein there would be a big surprise of a sort for her; maybe something good was bound to happen since the rain did started just when the sun was at its hottest peak, and it was rare after all to rain whilst when it was still hot and with the sun at its highest point.
She looked up; taking a quick glance at the darkened clouds that were slowly covering the sun before looking back down, continuing her journey, and just after taking a turn around the corner; the parking lot slowly entered her field of vision.
The raven smiled softly, feeling happy that she was finally near to getting into her car. The young raven started to walk a bit more faster, yet still cautious enough not to wet her clothes whilst holding her bag close, pulling her knitted jacket just a bit more over her body from the cold winds that blew softly through her way.
She breached the distance between her and her black Mercedes-Benz W212, which was brought for her about a month ago; it was a present of a sort that her parents had given to her, you can say that it was a thank you gift for her due to her efforts to keep her own company in the top list, just aligned near their family business, as well as her hard work in teaching her younger sister, Matsui Jurina, the ropes in their business.
Thankfully enough, her sister was a hard worker and a fast learner because it made the task easy for her. Sooner or later in the future, her sister would surely become a fine president in one of their family companies and the raven could not help but grin at the thought of the success her younger sister can achieve. It made her feel happy and at the same time, it would also mean that the hard work that she had placed in order to teach her sister was not wasted at all. Though it might seem that she’s placing a lot of responsibility and trust on her sister, it did not mean she wanted to weigh in pressure on her young cheerful sister; she just wanted what was the best for her, and what was best was for Jurina to learn the ropes of their business and become a successor, she knew that her sister was also intent into getting into the business. If by the time her sister grows older, surely, she would also become a great president and who knows how far she go, Jurina could even surpass her by that time, and just the thought of it made her smile.
It was not because she was yielding, but because she wanted what was better for her sister, even if it meant giving up her position as the heiress, but for now, she’ll just have to work hard for both her and her sister to keep their business and her own running smoothly.
That aside, the car did somehow proved her that she was doing a fine job, her parents did told her that it was a present, a hard-earned present that stemmed from her hard work in the flow of their business, and frankly; she is thankful for her parents for buying this for her, it would at least lessen the hassle of commuting back and forth from her own company office to her condominium, something of which would me time consuming and hassling. She would also get peace and quiet as well as the luxury and comforts of being able to travel around without having to worry about the littlest of things other than the maintenance and the fuel, not that it was ever a problem for her as she could always resort to getting a mechanic to look over her car.
She opened her shoulder bag and took out her car keys while steadily keeping the umbrella over her head while she pressed the button on her keys, unlocking the car with plain ease. She took hold of the door’s knob and opened it, placing her bag on the other side of the front seat before she carefully placing her other items inside such as files and books onto the seat.
She was then about to enter her car, that until she suddenly spotted something from through the other side of the window, she tried to squint her eyes, focusing her vision to that little figure as it instantly perked up the raven’s attention. She tried to get a clear image of the figure far from her, once she saw it her eyes instantly widened in horror.
Quickly, she backed away from her car, closing the door shut and locking them using the buttons in her keys before she hurriedly walked to the other side; she rushed towards near the dumpster with an umbrella at hand, she approached the woman. Immediately, she used her umbrella to shield an unconscious woman sitting on the ground, back pressed on the wall, only bundled with light clothes that were far too soaked up in rainwater to even shield and warm up the woman.
Immensely worried, the raven fumbled with her knitted jacket before she bent down and wrapped the jacket around the woman’s shoulder while she tried to desperately shield herself and the poor unconscious woman from the rain. Once she secured the jacket around her, the raven instantly cupped the woman’s cheeks, and to her own fear, the woman’s skin felt far too wet and cold to her touch.
“Miss… wake up.”
She called, frowning when she did not get any sort of response, feeling anxiety rushing in her heart. The young woman tried to nudge the unconscious woman awake, calling out to her again as gentle, but as loud as possible.
“Please wake up…!”
She tried to shake the woman’s shoulders, but it was no use, she didn’t react at all just like the first time she called to her. Feeling even more anxious, the raven stood up leaving her umbrella to the woman before she ran to her car, not caring whether her feet or clothes were getting wet.
She immediately unlocked the door and entered her car before she hopped inside her car, placing the key into the ignition, she started the car up. Although she wanted to heat up the engine first as it was a custom to do so, she was far too worried about letting the woman there for too long under the rain and no less under the cold climate that she immediately let her car move.
She maneuvered steering wheel, backing up before she drove out of the parking lot, towards the woman’s direction, before she halted and stepped out her car, leaving the engine running while she went back to the unconscious woman, hurriedly grabbing a hold of her, supporting her using her arm and her body while she opened the door to the passenger seat at the back, slowly laying the woman there.
The raven ignored the droplets of rain that slowly soaked her skin and clothes as she continue on with her task, careful enough to place the woman comfortably on the backseat before she closed the door and took her umbrella, running back to the driver’s seat.
She quietly entered the car, closing it shut and locking all of the doors with a press of a button before she pressed her foot on the gas pedal, causing the car to move forward while she maneuvered her Benz out of the parking lot and into the main road, letting out a small sneeze and a cough, she shivered a bit due to being soaked from the rain.
“I’m soaked…” The young woman mumbled quietly, letting out a sigh then after, knowing that there might be a possible chance that she would get sick due to being soaked by rain water.
She did not regret helping the unconscious woman however. Helping others made her heart feel all warm and fuzzy, it actually lifted her spirit up, besides that, her consciousness would be nagging her if she had not helped the woman; she would feel utterly guilty of what would happen had she left her there under the rain instead, and she couldn’t stand it, even just the thought of leaving her there made her grit her teeth.
Why exactly would a woman be there anyways, unconscious and under the rain no less?
The young raven bit her bottom lip at the thought, but shook her head and nuzzled further to her seat while she kept her eyes focused on the road for now, but every once in a while, she would take a quick look over from her seat to look at the unconscious woman, worriedly glancing at her state as she was extremely soaked up as it was evident due to how drenched the backseat of her car was. She did not mind that little detail though, seeing as how she can always get her car cleaned up, but what she did min was that she feared more for the woman’s health as it was not clear to her just how long exactly the woman was under the rain, she might have already developed hypothermia, and that would mean bad.
‘I need to get to my condo, pronto.’ She thought while her eyes went back to the road. The young raven drove her car silently under the rainy day as fast as what she could under the rain, driving towards her condo as soon as necessarily possible.
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Panting; cheeks red and flushed and sweating heavily, the young raven opened the door, slowly entering her condominium. She tried to balance the combined weight between her and the woman she was carrying as she half-dragged, half-carried the unconscious woman. The raven tried to step into her condominium, only to stumble forward with the heavy weight leaning onto her, causing her to fall to the floor which caused her to unnecessarily drag down the woman along with her in the fall.
She let out a startled squeak that escaped from her mouth as she fell to the ground with a loud thud with the unconscious woman lying on her back painfully, making the poor raven groan and moan out in immense pain. She winced, puffing out a deep long breath as she tried to calm the painful waves and the crushing weight that hit her back and immobilized her.
“Ohh…that hurts…” She groaned; she slowly tried to move her body even with the excess weight on her back, but needless to say, it was useless with the extra weight on her.
She took a quick glance, hoping that the woman would at least be conscious right about now, but was disappointed when she found that the other woman was still unconscious, but that disappointment soon faded away when she found how beautiful the woman was and awfully too close her face was to her own.
Her eyes widened and cheeks flushed pink, she felt her heart skip a beat at the realization of how their faces were too close, just a few inches apart from each other. Her breath hitched; mouth agape in a small ‘o’ like shape. She stared, amazed, gawking at how beautiful the other woman’s facial features were, the most notable features were her eyes, her cute nose, pale smooth skin, the beauty marks in her face and her cherry pink lips, even the very tip of the woman’s black curled wet tresses left her breathless. Although she knew that staring was rude, especially when the other person was unconscious, she could not help it, it was as if she was stuck there, immobilized from the unconscious woman’s charisma and beauty. She just left the young raven feeling breathless and awed when her eyes traced the woman’s face, noticing even the beauty mark on the bridge of her nose and her long black eyelashes.
The woman was really breathtakingly beautiful, it was like gazing at an unreal ethereal being just like the mythological goddesses on Greek literature, that was just how perfectly stunning the woman was. Yet, there was always this nagging feeling that the raven could not help but wonder why, just why was she sitting there, unconscious?
It was quite unusual to see a pretty woman in the streets in that kind of state as it felt wrong and out of place, but she knew that she would never get an answer that unless she got it directly from the person lying unconscious on the floor of her condominium, which was at that moment impossible.
Sighing, the raven slowly rolled the woman off her body, she kept lying there on the floor as gentle before she herself sat back on the floor; she tried to kick the door, closing it shut. The sudden movement caused the raven to jerk slightly and touch her aching back, mumbling weak incoherent words under her breath before she leaned on the wall, rubbing her sore back as to calm the pain.
The raven turned her head to the direction of the living room, groaning internally at the distance she has to cover in order to reach the couch.
“…Uuu…” She groaned, her mind exhausted and her body tired and battered. She wanted nothing more but to sleep right at that moment, wanting to ease the exhaustion and weariness of her body, but she pushed that from her head, knowing that she needed to do something else before she could even let herself rest.
Carefully, she attempted to stand up using the wall as a support before she picked up the woman, walking slowly to the living room; legs slightly wobbly as the pain in her back still shot up, nagging her to ease its pain. She ignored her body’s desire and continued with the task at hand; finding it much more important to help the other woman instead.
Her efforts and struggles did pay off when she finally made her way towards the living room wherein the raven quickly propped the woman on the couch, letting out a tired sigh when she felt the extra weight on her disappear.
Exhaustion was soon taking its toll on her and the raven’s legs instantly gave up on her, making her collapse to the ground, panting lightly, she felt heavily tired and wounded from the fall earlier. The pain in her back continuously nagged her, making the young woman wince and grunt; the pain itself was doubling the feeling of exhaustion in her body, and never did she experienced something like this, much less carrying and supporting a person from the parking lot up to the seventh floor to her condo. This was the very first time she ever did that, and she half hoped that this would be the last time she would need to carry someone, knowing that her body would probably collapse from exhaustion, much like now. Frankly, her body was never good at strenuous works, much less on sports and exercises as she had a low stamina.
The raven suddenly shut both of her eyes as another wave of pain struck her back. She gripped her skirt and jerk her head forward, small beads of sweat dripping down from her face, panting as she tried to overcome the pain, staying as still as a statue for what seems to have been minutes, enduring everything.
Moments passed after that and the pain toned down, letting the raven loosen up her tight grip on her skirt. She sighed tiredly; shifting her position, she leaned on the couch, looking up to stare at the ceiling.
The lights filtered into the room, illuminating the beauty of the simple yet modern and westernized furniture inside the condo, the combined color of white, cream, black and brown gave the inside of the condo a good visual look overall, yet even in that sense, the condo felt vastly empty and uncomfortable.
It was just as cold and silent as a still night, it reminded her very like of the first night when she had left the mansion to live alone to learn independence; it was nostalgic and surprisingly lonely at the same time.
Silence however has proven to have given her comfort and peace, but it also had its ups and downs for her. Yet the feeling of being alone and wanting to be with someone for just once never crossed her mind, it was never part of her priority. She was not even good at socializing with people she doesn’t know, and it really did not matter to her, that however was bound to change today…because for now, she will have a company in her lone condominium.
She turned her head slowly, taking a quick glance at the unconscious woman on her couch, her eyes lingering at her face before the raven looked down on her lap, a sudden wave of uncertainty filling her heart up.
What was she going to do now? How was she going to take care of this woman?
Never before had she personally taken care of someone, much less when they were sick as the doctors would often do that in their family’s stead, but this, this was a different case, she wasn’t in the mansion anymore but in a condo, living by herself, there was no way she could just ask a doctor for this, could she?
She does not even know whether the unconscious woman would appreciate her asking for a doctor, as she did not even know just what exactly was the other woman’s situation, there might be a chance that she would act violent if she were to call for a doctor, just like the scenes she had countlessly seen before when she was a child through anime and dramas.
The young raven puffed her cheeks and let out a small puff of air from her parted lips; she took out her phone and stared at the screen, looking at the time before she placed it on the floor. She glanced back at the unconscious woman lying on her couch with a blank expression.
The raven placed a thoughtful finger on her chin and rubbed it, contemplating for a second whether she should call a doctor in her own hesitation and worry, but after a few minutes of thinking, she shook her head and went against the thought, finding it more appropriate for her to just settle with taking care of her than to place her into other people’s care.
“I can’t just leave her to other people’s care, I did save her…I’m responsible for her…”
“But…even if that’s the truth…” She mumbled, talking out loud to herself while she stared down at her fingers, fiddling with them mindlessly as the tired raven’s mind was focused somewhere else, yet, she was unable to process what action she should take on next and instead asked out loud for her to ponder upon;
“…What should I do now?”
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End of Part I
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A/N: Guess who is who...the pairing is obviously my favorite pair though, YukiRena! >u <
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*saves spot for a comment*
Sieka-sama, you're back!!!!!!!!!!!! *dances happily around*
You still are for me TGoF, but for your comfortability, I'll call you Sieka-sama, okay?
Omg, I so love this update. i never could write up such awesome details as you do... *sighs*
YukiRena, it's what you're best at writing ;)
I will be waiting for the further development of this story...
I'm curious as much as Rena-sama, why yukirin was lying there?.. :?
Thank you for your update :bow: :bow: :bow:
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:hee: Welcome back Sieka-san
:ptam-glow: Another new interesting story with YukiRena and a cameo of Jurina XD
Thank you for your update!
ArígatoU! :kneelbow:
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^
We all want that I think....... :panic:
A new story though for us to get into, with an interesting start to, what was Yuki doing there, lying on the ground, Rena thinking that too, and making Yuki her responsability, please make it so forever Rena!!!
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Hehe can't wait for Yuki to wake up
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yo :hand:
my moustache is doing fine :D hasnt grown in a while so its all clean atm hahaha :lol:
ooooh another yukirena~ fabulous
urgh the pain D: just trying to get someone into the house/condo sounds like horror! i bet once she gets up in the morning shes gonna be all bruised all over and in a hell lot of pain HAHAH while whoever is unconscious is gonna panic and may end up beating the other one :lol: MORE PAIN!
well well i wonder how shes gonna end up taking care of the unconscious 8)
loving it! cant wait til the next update :) take your plentiful time! :thumbsup
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Rena take the responsibility over Yuki~ interesting :D
Wanna know the next part~
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Just here to comment...
Still working on writing Chinmoku update and I'm still far from 100% completion...kind of busy and uninspired to write so...sorry. :sweatdrop:
WMtMiY is also being written and all the other oneshots I have...so I might update randomly.
Anyways, gonna reply before I can't even do so.
Replies:
@sakura_drop_ - Erm, I'm not exactly back...just dropping by every now and then to look around or post something from my folder. :sweatdrop:
Hahaha, YukiRena is where my writing passion comes out...I can't seem to write any other pairing without references, but with YukiRena, I can use any plot that pops into my head. :3
@Megumi - Thanks...Yeah, Jurina as a cameo, I hope I can use her in the development of this story in the future. >u < XD
@anzai48 - And I'm still writing Chinmoku. orz I hope you can wait more for it...I'm kind of having a bit of a problem, so....give me more time and it'll be posted, just when, I don't know...
@oddball - I want it to be forever too with Rena taking responsibility of Yuki...but would it be forever? Who knows. :roll:
@kahem - Why do you want Yuki to wake up? What are you thinking? Hohoho... :lol:
@Pandah - Aw, you should use some kind of formula to make it grown back again. :lol:
That's likely a big possibility! And yes, its a real pain to get someone inside the house when their unconscious, especially if you aren't physically strong enough to do it... orz
@ichikawa - Thank you for commenting. :bow:
Anyways, thank you to everyone who commented and gave me their thanks for What Matters the Most is You! Thank you for that, it really made me happy reading your comments while I'm all bummed and stressed from college.
Thank you thank you! :cathappy:
I kind of wanted to post a oneshot for Yuki's birthday, but sadly, I couldn't make any...uwah... :cry:
I hope I can make one for Rena though...I want to....
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Hi, this is your lazy poke author Sieka, here to post a second short preview for Chinmoku Part X! >u <
I'm not giving away that much from my previews though...what will happen to Black happens you know. =u =
Anyways, for a view on the progress, I'm 60% complete on Part X with 14 pages in total, BUT, its still far from completion so those 14 pages will increase. Expect a very long long update, though I'm not saying I'll update it today or a few days later on since there are a lot of missing parts, so for now, just indulge in this second preview!
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Chinmoku
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Part X: Second Preview
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She hated people telling her to change, she hated them for trying to change her back, but sometimes, she appreciated the little sentiment it held as she knew deep inside her heart that what those people longed for was what was best for her, yet she ignored their pleas countless times.
‘…I want to change…along with you…Rena.’ Black thought to herself as a small bitter smile formed on her lips at the thought of that small scene replaying shortly in her mind, it was that one particular scene of the Gekikara telling her to change back to her old self; it was a scene that had partaken a few hours ago.
‘I want to…’
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End of Preview
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Sieka-sama, thank you for this teaser! :bow:
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I was gonna poke you to see if you were OK
Now I don't have to...so I will be here waiting for your update!
:kneelbow:
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A/N: This is Sieka, your lazy procrastinating slow poke author reporting for duty! Today, I'm so happy because finally, yes finally, I finished an update! At last, I've been really bothered by how I couldn't come up with an update, especially since Yuki and Rena's birthdays went by, ugh, so this update is a belated one for Yuki and Rena. I actually decided to split Chinmoku's Part X, since I know that if I didn't split it, it would be more than just 24 pages long and past 8000+ words, so its better this way.
Also, I just would like to say thank you to everyone for making this thread reach up to 10K! I'm so happy that it went up to this much views, its really awe-inspiring whenever I see this, and I can't but say thanks. I hope that this thread would reach up to 15K and more, so I'll also do my very best to make my thread alive and kicking!
Kiriban 10K achieved! Thank you very much!
Now, before that, gonna reply to sakura-san and Megumi-san before we go ahead to Chinmoku Part X-I!
Replies:
@sakura_drop_ - No problem. :sweatdrop:
@Megumi - Hahaha, don't worry, I'm still breathing and living, just a bit...well...forced and I guess, trying? Hahahaha, college life, art plates and shit is on me, finals is almost nearing for me so I'm sorry if I don't update that much now. :sweatdrop:
Thank you for the comments everyone, also the thank yous, it was really nice of you guys. I hope that this update would be well received, I placed effort and time on this, so hope that it suits your taste...anyhow, I better start planning for Part X-II. Enjoy reading! Here is Chinmoku Part X-I! :cathappy:
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Shrouded in darkness; the whirlwind tempest of conflicting emotions and thoughts concurred; heavy and delirious, it wrapped her mind, yet with her eyes opened, she stared at the knife, looking at the sharp edge, waiting, yet dreading.
This was it…arrival of everything, the arrival of her departure; just the very realization of that bought tears streaming down her cheeks. Her fists were clenched, still and tight, lips pressed together into a tight line, she chocked down a sob, breathing with extreme difficulty for air.
She heard a small giggle escape from her captor and soon to be killer, a jolly tone mixed in with excitement and amusement made her shudder as she continued to laugh. Her captor’s eyes glistened in happiness, yet clouded and dazed that of unlike the eyes that she had been grown accustomed to see; the sight of that ever bright sparkling hue of brown that looked quite so innocent and tamed, so child-like and pure was now nothing but a simple memory that she could only trace inside her head.
Was this her punishment? A punishment that God had chosen for her to take in order to atone for all the things she had done? Or was this the consequence of her own actions towards the younger girl?
The answer… just what exactly was the answer to that?
Maybe at this moment, the person who weaved her fate was laughing at her from behind, happy to witness her end by the hands of whom she loved.
It was so ironic.
Oh so painfully ironic.
She wanted to laugh bitterly, but she couldn’t, not with this, not when she could not even find herself to breathe without having a hard time, not when she couldn’t even move an each as her movements were limited by the weight pressed on her body. It was no use to struggle even because her body was already weak and tired, useless and battered from running around and fighting back the younger queen.
She stared to wonder, pondering bitterly, had there ever been a time where she had experienced the luxury of a better life, of a beautiful day and a peaceful time?
If so, when?
Maybe, maybe there was a time like that.
There might really have been, just in the distant past, a small recollection of that time when everything was still fine, when their former president was still alive and when love was still hidden away beneath gestures and glances.
Suddenly, memories flashed quickly into her mind by a fraction of a millisecond, painful and sickening; she remembered everything up to the worst times in her life. She even ended up reliving the pain as the memories passed through her in the fastest pace possible, only to throw her back into a whirlwind of chaotic emotions; it left her to see one sole memory that left her wreathing in silent pain and anguish.
The memory of her and Gekikara flashed in her mind, both of them in a still quiet room, serene and comforting, yet content and happy, sitting together on one couch, silence in between both of them, but a certain sense of mutual understanding was there even amidst the lack of communication between them.
Black missed it…she missed that day, that small scene, and she wanted it back again.
It was a beautiful image; a memory that would just remain as what it is. A memory that Black wished for, yet a wish she can’t have.
Numerous tears slowly slid off from the corner of her eyes and onto the side of her cheeks, leaving fresh wet trails on her flushed skin. The tormenting feeling of having a glimpse of that past scene was enough to make her wretch agonizingly knowing that there might never be a chance for that to happen again.
She wants to believe in wishes and hopes; she wants to cling that somehow, that something would change, that something would turn over this event.
She wanted to believe because she needed it more than anything. She still has so many things to make up for and so many things to explain to the younger girl, but that however, seemed likely impossible.
The older raven continued to stare up, eyes never leaving the knife; watching with bleary eyes, her vision fogged and blurred by tears brimming and clouding over her sense of sight as the knife was raised up higher, everything seemingly happening in a slow pace.
‘I’m sorry.’
She thought silently in her mind, finding herself unable to open her mouth and speak of those words, knowing that just a simple apology was not enough for her to atone all the misdeeds she had done and wronged against Gekikara.
She closed her eyes slowly in order to obscure the image of the dread that was to come soon down upon her.
A shaky breath escape from her lips, she willed herself, mustering every energy she had left and all the strength she had in order to speak even though heaven’s forbid her to speak, even if her body was far too exhausted, she tried, just for this one final moment.
She wanted this last chance to say those words she had hopefully wanted to say at the right time, but needless to say, she never had the right chance to do so, so this time, she would confess, even if she dies…afterwards.
The former queen opened her mouth as much as she can, whispering between panting sweet words that only meant of love, a longing confession that the younger girl had always wanted to hear from her.
Though late, it was nevertheless a confession of love, reciprocated by the one she had held most dearest and important to her heart…
“I…love you…Rena…”
Chinmoku
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Part X - I
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Everything stood still just as if time had stopped. No one moved; no one made any noise; it was as if no one was there at all in the very beginning, as if no one existed in that very place. It was also pitched dark, and the stench of copper mixed in with dust and the horrible smell of rotting flesh filled the air, making the atmosphere cold and dense. The alley was dark and silent, only the droplets of water echoing from a distance resonated from inside the darkened route.
It was already night, nearing midnight even. The time ticked continuously, not waiting for anyone; impatient to move forward to another set of numbers, just as how life runs pass by minutes too soon when having fun, or a few hours late when bored, yet time never stops, no matter how some wished it would.
Time, does not waits for anyone, just as with fate, which weaves destinies; nothing is constant in this world; the only thing that remains is change, an Black knew of that thought, because she had always been the one to have been urged to change:
‘A change for the worst or for the better.’
Changing was not bad, yet many feared for it as they feared the uncertainty of what lies after it.
Black had been one of those few people who feared it. She did not like the thought of changing, of reverting back to her old self. It was unbearable to revert back, knowing that there would be many other things that she could not change back.
She hated people telling her to change, she hated them for trying to change her back; but sometimes, she appreciated the little sentiment it held as she knew deep inside her heart that what those people longed for was what was best for her, yet she ignored their pleas countless times.
She regretted ignoring them because she knew somewhere deep inside her heart, she also wanted to change, she wanted to be someone else, the old her, the Yuki who would once raise her head up and smile; the girl who believed that everything would be fine, that something nice was bound to happen in the future.
That was the kind of person she once was, an optimistic fool, a princess that her parents dotted, the parents that was never there when she needed them the most, they were never mostly around at home, they almost always at work, leaving her only within the care of her grandmother and aunty. They were the ones who supported her when her parents abandoned her with distaste and anger in their faces as they left her to carry the burden of her misfortune.
Black chocked down a sob when she remembered the rejection she had faced from her parents; mingled with hurtful words that told her of their sorrow and regrets of ever dotting her, of ever loving her, a scar was formed over the first one from the harassment that she had received.
It hurted so much that she couldn’t look back up anymore just like her optimistic old self had done before.
She wanted to change that, she wanted to be free from all the pain of her past, and she was going to let it go, one by one, though the process might be slow, she would try to let the scar fully heal, and then, she would change, but she did not just want to change just by herself.
She wanted to change along with someone else.
‘…I want to change…along with you…Rena.’ Black thought to herself as a small bitter smile formed on her lips at the thought of that small scene replaying shortly in her mind, it was that one particular scene of the Gekikara telling her to change back to her old self; it was a scene that had partaken a few hours ago.
‘I want to…’
Black took in a deep breath as she felt her heart tightened and the pain starting to course throughout her body; she tried to relax, ignoring the pain that she felt as she clung on desperately in her attempt to keep herself from yielding to the agonizing feeling of something reaping through her skin and flesh.
Fresh blood splattered and painted the ground, the knife dug deep into the raven’s shoulder, cutting skin and flesh. The blood sullied the body of the knife with thick crimson liquid, the horrid and strong smell of copper floated heavily in the air, wafting into the raven’s nostrils as she breath in a painful gasp, feeling the sharp cold steel digging deeper down into her flesh.
Black hissed, her hand swiftly reaching up to grasp the hand holding her neck, her nails digging onto Gekikara’s soft pale skin; the raven desperately tried to keep her body calm, trying to ride through the wave of pain as sweat dripping down from her face. She wreathed, silently wanting to overcome the pain that ran from her injured shoulder and through her body.
But the pain was overpowering, it was too much to bear.
More droplets of tears fell from Black’s eyes as she shut them tightly, as she ended up gritting her teeth, stifling a whimper from escaping her lips, only to let out a pained cry when the knife was suddenly pulled out of her flesh.
“Kuh…” Black panted, her hand slowly loosening its grip on Gekikara’s hand. The raven exhaustedly turned her head to the side, staring at the wound on her shoulders with half-lidded pain-stricken eyes, Black’s mouth formed into a twisted grimace when she stared at the blood oozing from the wound.
The thought of lying there, about to be killed in the hands of the insane queen was enough for her to feel hopeless and crushed; she almost wanted to laugh at her own miserable state, not being able to fix up and patch things, or even stop Gekikara of what she was doing.
It was just unnerving, just how much weak and vulnerable she’s being in front of Gekikara. She did not found any resentment in it though even if the younger girl had striped her off her defenses, there was no way she could ever hate her, knowing that her love for Gekikara would overcome all the resentment and anger she had in her heart. There was never even a reason for her to bear any ill-will against her, instead, she felt the need to prove her and give her more of the needed attention, care and love the younger queen truly needed, yet was there even a chance to prove that, knowing that her time was limited only up to this point?
Of course she wouldn’t be able to do that…
She was not a fool, nor was she a hopeful dreamer, a believer of happily ever-after that would just end for not, crushed, without even a single trace; but still, she wanted to hope that there was still a chance to redeem herself and correct all the wrong that she had done.
Black desperately had wanted to resist her own fate, countless times even just as it is right now.
She did not wanted everything to end here, at this place and at this time; she still wanted to do so much more, she still wanted to express her love more, not just through from a simple confession, but something much greater than that.
She wanted to have the chance, a chance to be more open and affectionate, just like how she had once been before for the other raven before everything changed, before that ever happened.
“R…R-Rena…” Black called out between pants as she tried to resist the pain she felt, not wanting it to overthrow her into a state of unconsciousness.
She opened her eyes slowly; her shining obsidian orbs gazed upward, bleary and fogged from tears. The older teen stared at the figure straddling her, and she held her hand, trying to reach up. She raised her hands, wanting to touch the younger girl’s face, only for her hand to jerk back. She winced, wreathing at the pain that struck throughout her body when she moved.
“Ugh…” Black groaned, drawing in quick shallow breathes as she wreathed more at the burning and prickling sensation of her wounds, which caused more tears to stream down from the corner of her eyes, sliding down her cheeks.
The pain was burning and agonizing, it was just like a lit up fire crawling all over her body with exhaustion fueling the pain further as her resistance began breaking down slowly.
Her body wanted to rest, it wanted to make her close her eyes and let everything fall into oblivion, yet Black fought against it, she willed herself and kept her eyes open, staring straight up to Gekikara; her bleary eyes tracing the young queen’s figure up to the item she held in her hand, noticing the knife hanging still in mid-air.
Black stared at the weapon, waiting for it to surge down and pierce her again; yet, the longer she stared at it, the more she noticed just how stiff and still the knife was all of a sudden, she might have not noticed it earlier, but now she did. She saw how it slightly trembled now, along with the hand that held it in place; it seemed as if there was some sort of a sudden hesitation.
Black’s eyes went away from the knife and towards the young queen, noticing that the younger queen sat still, jaws clenched tight with Gekikiara trying to urge her body to move, but she couldn’t, instead, she trembled; her muscles seemingly stiff and tense. Her body did not move, rejecting even her mind’s command, it was as if her body automatically shut down on her, leaving her immobile.
Gekikara knitted her brows together in confusion and frustration. She stared at the figure lying there on the floor, bleeding; she wondered why her body did not want to move or why she could not place herself to kill this person.
Was it because of what this unknown person had said? Was it because this person told her that it loved her? Or was it because it called her by her name again?
The insane queen frowned, her lips formed into a tight line, the feeling of uneasiness and worry forming in her chest, she did not know why, but there was a terrible nagging feeling that kept disturbing her at that moment, telling her to stop and drop the knife.
And that very feeling itself was something that she couldn’t just shrug off.
[What are you doing…?]
[Why did you stop?]
[…Why aren’t you killing that person before you?] The voice in her head hissed angrily in impatience.
[Why are you hesitating right now?]
[Don’t tell me you’re just going to stop here? Now out of all the times, when you’re finally near to reaching your freedom?] The voice questioned in irritation and dismay, its words sharp and monotonous. The young queen winced internally as the voice spoke angrily at her.
She wanted to question herself why exactly had she stopped, she wanted to know, but something was pushing her off not to know, as if it was denying her that privilege of discovering what exactly the answer was. It was like a resistance barrier that kept her off from unveiling that one very information that she wanted.
Just what exactly was stopping her from knowing was something that she did not know…rather, she never noticed it.
[Stop trying to find an answer.]
[What’s the point when you’ll have to kill them off afterwards?] The voice asked, making a clicking sound in irritation. Gekikara ignored the words that came from the voice as her consciousness slowly comes back to her, making the young queen groan as she felt her head throb.
‘My head…it feels weird…’
The young queen placed one trembling hand on her head, clutching it desperately as she felt a wave of discomfort through her head, she squint her eyes and tried to keep the feelings at bay while unconsciously glancing up towards the knife she held in the hand that she used to clutch her head.
Gekikara stared at the knife with a large frown marring her face, her displeasure evident in her brown hazy eyes.
‘Why…can’t I kill you?’ Gekikara asked herself while she gritted her teeth, wincing a bit at the uncomfortable feeling that suddenly rose up to her head.
She bit her bottom lip as a bead of sweat drip down her forehead. She scrunched her brows together in focus; she stared at the figure’s face, desperately trying to find a clue, an answer or any of a sort whilst ignoring the unpleasant feeling quaking in her head, which persistently kept forcing itself on her.
‘…No…’
Gekikara shook her head and furrowed her brows, gritting her teeth together as she persisted to keep away the dark desires to kill someone. Her conscience telling her that it was wrong, that everyone would be disappointed if she did because it was wrong. That thought kept nagging her, triggering something inside her head that caused the insane queen to act differently all of a sudden.
‘No…’
‘I won’t…’ She thought while she kept her eyes closed in full concentration as she felt discomfort in that little something that was trying to push back into her mind, wanting to throw her back into oblivion, into a state of sub-consciousness.
‘I shouldn’t kill anyone…’
‘Yuki…Yuko-san…and everyone…They’ll all be disappointed in me…’ Gekikara bit her bottom lip, knowing full well of what would happen if she were to proceed with the unlawful actions that other side of her mind was nagging her to do.
‘They’ll hate me…if they knew…’
[Stop being stubborn…!] The voice growled in frustration, latching angrily at the insane queen, only to be ignored as Gekikara kept up with her train of thoughts, drawn in by the thought of Yuko, Sado and the other queens looking at her disappointedly, but what Gekikara feared out of all that was with Black staring at her in disgust and revolt.
‘And Yuki…she’ll hate me…’
‘She’ll hate…me.’
Just imagining Black glaring at her with disgust and hate in her eyes made Gekikara felt weak and small, seeing the older raven despising her, cursing her for being was something that she never wanted because it to come to the point where Black would start wishing that she never met the young queen because that was the most painful feeling she could ever experience.
‘No…’
‘I don’t want that…’
Gekikara shook her head; she took her hand off from holding onto Black’s neck, easing the former queen’s pain and letting her take short fast intakes of air while Gekikara now placed her free hand on the side of her head, trying to cover her ear in a futile attempt to block out the voice as her mind kept running around frantically with her thoughts circling around her fear.
‘Not Yuki…I don’t want her to…
‘Please…not her.’
‘Anyone…anyone but her and the other queens.’ Gekikara thought as she averted her eyes, looking frantically around with fear clouding her brown orbs.
Black glanced at Gekikara in confusion, wanting to help the younger queen, yet she could not do so as she was still recovering from the pain that had once encircled her neck and she still could not help but remember the feel of Gekikara’s hands around her neck as she placed slight pressure, obstructing her breathing path. And even if it that was not the case, Black felt a small pang of hesitance, yet she wanted to reach up, but the memories of Gekikara’s vicious and dangerous smiling face made her stop.
She hesitated, not because of the fear of being killed, but because of the uncertainty of how Gekikara might respond back to her.
If she were to reach up, would Gekikara take her hand or would she…push her away, just like she had done a few hours ago.
Black gritted her teeth at the thought as she lied on the ground. She winced in pain, grasping her wounded shoulder as she stared at Gekikara when the younger queen suddenly grasped her arm tightly, her sharp nails digging into Black’s sleeved arm.
A pained expression appeared on the younger raven’s face as she held Black’s arm like it was the only thing that would keep her anchored when Gekikara’s head throbbed, causing so much discomfort to the young queen.
Black stifled out a cry at the prickling feeling of Gekikara’s nails digging through her clothes and skin; she closed her eyes, inhaling a shaky breath in as she tried to overcome the doubling feeling of pain that wracked throughout her body.
The older raven tried to struggle when the pain was too much to bear; wanting to be free from the painful torture, yet the more she struggled under Gekikara, the tighter the younger girl held her, unconscious of how much pain she was causing to the person below her as she was lost in the process of keeping control of her mind.
Gekikara kept battling with the voice inside her mind, while her thoughts also continued to torment her, and it was becoming unbearable as Gekikara fought desperately not to kneel down and succumb to depression and hopelessness.
Seeing Gekikara weakened and in a fragile state, irritated the inner her, the inner demon within Gekikara, and what made her angry was that even though in the young raven’s state, she was able to keep on fighting back, steeling her resolves to keep the voice from controlling over her poor mind.
It was becoming tiring, and the voice no longer had any patience left to spare for this…it wanted results, and it needed it now.
[Stop it already!]
[Don’t think about her now!] The voice growled in agitation as Gekikara still kept on resisting, making it hiss in anger as the next words become venomous and harsh.
[Just kill this person and end this!]
[End this and you’ll get the freedom you want!] The voice yelled in frustration, growling angrily while Gekikara continued to try to resist the urge to give in to the voice that told her to submit to a sinful deed.
Gekikara felt fear and confusion rush through her with anxiety mixing up as the words ‘kill’ and ‘freedom’ came in the sentence.
She wanted freedom, she has always longed for it, she wanted to experience what it feels like to be free, free from all the chains that were binding her down, but to kill…to kill in order to become free was wrong.
It was all wrong.
There was a horrible sense in everything that the voice urged her to do and she wanted everything to stop. She did not want to hear the voice from speaking any further, she did not want to listen to the malicious words that rang inside her head as it tried to take over her mind again and throw her off from her conscious mind.
“No…”
“I won’t kill anyone…”
“I can’t kill anyone…everyone…they’ll be disappointed…”
“Especially Yuki…” The young queen said in response to the voice while she took short puffs of air, trying to calm her rapidly beating heart while she clutched her throbbing head with her eyes tightly closed as she willed herself to keep herself in place, not wanting to be overthrown in her state of consciousness.
“I promised them…”
“I just can’t break that promise…” Gekikara weakly mumbled while she closed her eyes tightly, she kept her head bowed down as if in shame.
She knew full well that she can’t kill and that she shouldn’t even attempt to kill anyone, not now when she still has a promise to fulfill.
Not now.
[Then when?] The voice whispered silently in disappointment.
[You’re already close to being free…and yet, you’re letting that freedom of yours to slip from your grasp.]
[Why are you doing this anyways?]
[All along, you’ve always strived to be free, that’s what you’ve always wanted the most…] The voice asked sadly.
Gekikara wanted to deny all the words the voice said, but it was true; she had always longed to be free even from the beginning of her time as an abused child; she was always set on being free for once and to experience that freedom that was taken away from her when she was young.
It was the one most important thing to her in past:
Freedom.
Yet, here she was…
Letting it go.
She was taking away her opportunity to be free, for the past few years of her taking all the pain and hardships, for the years of torment and loneliness and for that whole time she had been caged up in a small empty space, unloved and unwanted, all that hard work that she had been doing was all to come to this.
[Is your reason that heavy enough for you not to choose your freedom?] The voice mumbled, frowning at Gekikara for choosing such a choice out of the option that she has.
What was hard about choosing between getting freedom or being chained down?
What was so hard…with just choosing to be free when that was the first thing Gekikara had yearned for?
It was just hard to believe; it was something her inner demon could not comprehend, and it did not want Gekikara to give up, not now, not when they were too close…too close to finally being released from their prison.
It just couldn’t accept Gekikara’s choice.
[Is it really that important to you?]
[Is keeping your promises really that important?] The voice questioned, sighing in exasperation; the hint of disappointment and anger evident in its cold monotonous voice as it continued on to question the young queen, not wanting to waste all the efforts that had been done.
[Was it really that important to you when you’ve already broken one?]
Gekikara raised her head when she heard the voice’s sadistic cackling, her eyes wide at what the voice told her. She suddenly felt colder than before and her heart beat kept beating faster and harder while she broke in cold sweat.
“W…What do you…mean?” The young raven said, trying hard not to shiver at the implications that the voice was starting to show to her. The voice however, seemed pleased with all of this, but only reacted to the question by giggling abruptly like a cynical person; its tone that was once disappointed and filled with hatred was now replaced with joy.
[You made a promise to someone in the past; it was a promise that was much stronger than the one you gave to your beloved deceased president!]
“What…Promise is that…?” The young raven asked, struggling to voice out the question that was inside her head; due to that, her voice came out as barely a whisper that Black could not even hear, yet it caught the tired former queen’s attention when she saw Gekikara’s lips move, but since the former queen of darkness did not had any ability to read lips, she was unable to grasp what Gekikara had said.
It was becoming unnerving and unpleasant.
The voice snickered, trying to stifle its laughter; only to fail miserably as it let out a loud mad cackle, making Gekikara bite her bottom lip in irritation, but kept silent as she let the voice’s laughter fade down before it continued to talk again.
[Hoh…]
[Have you already forgotten the promise you had once given to that very special someone of yours?] The voice cooed; its tone brimming with enthusiasm as it spoke gently to Gekikara; yet, it was simply mocking the short queen, like a backstabbing wretched entity it had been in the insane queen’s head.
[Well then, let me remind your idiotic worthless mind of what you forgot.] The voice giggled in a malicious way; if smirking was even possible, that would be the default expression of the unknown dark entity that cooed inside Gekikara’s head.
Gekikara’s brows knitted together into a tight frown, she took in a shaky breath, swallowing a visible large lump inside her throat before her lips formed a scowl as she closed her eyes tight, listening to the words that the voice told her; telling her of the past, of the scene where she had promised Black.
The promise that she could not keep; and it was what she broke a few hours ago. Being reminded of it left a bitter and copper after taste inside her mouth; the taste of her own blood and her anger.
[On that tragic day, when she was cruelly harassed, you had promised to always be beside her, to stay by her side.]
[You told her that you’ll always be there to protect her, that no matter how bad everything would be, no matter how painful the situation is; you’d still stay to hold her.]
[And yet,] The voice paused dramatically, smiling devilishly at Gekikara when she saw the young queen shrink; shivering slightly while she kept silent. The voice knew exactly what the younger raven was feeling, it knew the large turmoil that Gekikara was carrying and it pleased the voice to know just how much suffering the insane queen was carrying.
[You broke your promise, you tainted rubbish liar, you good for nothing garbage…]
[You told me you can’t break your promise even though you’ve already broken one.] The voice spat the words out, snickering afterwards; not caring whether she had opened up a large wound inside Gekikara’s heart, or that she was torturing her ‘other self’. What mattered the most was to make her remember; to make her know and feel in order for the insane queen to understand just what exactly did the voice wanted.
[So stop it already…]
[Promises are always meant to be broken.] The voice sighed, mumbling sadly as it spoke, the sudden change startling, yet did not faze Gekikara as she was also in her own train of thoughts.
It was true, what the voice told her was true.
She did broke her promise with Black, and it made Gekikara feel bad because she could not keep it in the end even when she vowed to the older girl that she would stay, that she won’t leave just like what her parents had done to her. She never wanted to abandon her promise; she never wanted to abandon Black because that would make her a foul creature just like the former queen’s parents who had deserted on her when she needed them the most.
She never meant to break the promise, because she wanted to prove the older raven that promises were meant to be kept in the end.
But she couldn’t.
“I know that!” Gekikara hissed angrily; she let go of Black’s arm, and instead, punched the bricked wall as hard as she could in her frustration.
Black held her breath and flinched when she heard Gekikara punch the wall; feeling the younger girl’s anger without needing to even look up. She knew that Gekikara was about to act on her temper again, but for a reason she did not know of. Just what exactly was Gekikara talking about? Why was she speaking? And who was she talking to?
“I know…but still…” The young queen trembled, wanting to reason out something, but finding it hard for her to get the words across.
The voice sighed again in displeasure, commenting back with a hint of disappointment due to the stubbornness of the insane queen; [This is just absurd, so stop this foolishness already.]
“Still…”
“I shouldn’t break another promise.” Gekikara mumbled while she kept her gaze down, staring at her free hands. Just the thought of killing someone sent a chill to her spine; it felt wrong and inhuman, it was disgusting and remorseful, yet she knew that deep behind her mind, she craved for it, she craved for that blood thirst and she wanted it out of her head because it was wrong.
“I can’t…”
“I shouldn’t kill anyone.” Gekikara spoke to herself while her hand closed into a tight fist, her eyes hardening as she kept her head bowed, her expression hidden from Black’s eyes. The older queen looked worriedly at the young queen as she kept still, hoping not to aggravate her wounds, while steeling her resolves to keep herself awake.
[Shouldn’t?]
[Ahahahaha!! Don’t make me laugh!] The voice cackled loudly before it sneered at Gekikara, spatting out the next words with obvious malice in its tone, [You shouldn’t kill? You’ve already killed someone!]
[Wait…no…]
[You’ve already killed quite a lot of people!] The voice pointed out angrily, shouting the next words in anger, irritation and hatred as it tried to convey its displeasure; [Why shouldn’t you kill, when you already have your hands tainted in blood?]
[Just look…look closely to what blunder you’ve done.] The voice barked out a command, making Gekikara flinch at the intensity of the voice’s words; finding it hard to resist the urge to comply, the shorter girl just went along with the command and brought her hands to her vision of sight.
Gekikara’s eyes went as wide as plates at the sight of her hands fully covered in blood and bruises, but what scared her was when she noticed the person below her. Her eyes slowly traced upward as she stared at the black wardrobe of her victim, her eyes almost popping out its sockets when she saw the familiar silver rosary.
She felt frightened; everything was familiar, the apparel and that rosary, they were all familiar, and she knew one person who would always sport that kind of attire, and it made her feel terrified.
She stopped looking upward, afraid to face the fear that was now embedding in her heart, the fear of knowing that she might have hurted the person most important to her, but Gekikara knew that she could never escape the consequences of her actions because one way or another, it would keep on haunting her.
Still, she wanted to deny it, but it was all impossible to deny, not when…not when she heard her name being called out by a weak hoarse voice, coming from below her:
“…Re…na?”
Like a metal attracted to a magnet, Gekikara looked down to stare at the person who called her name, not bothering to think about the protest of her mind and the feeling of her own heart slowly breaking when she saw the state of the older girl, lying on a small puddle of blood that leaked out of the small open wound on her shoulders.
Unable to hold herself, Gekikara called the former queen’s name, a tear fell down her cheeks as she said the former queen’s name as grief and remorse flooded her heart at the sight of Black battered and tired on the ground, her chest heaving up and down in a fast rhythm, staring at her with weak obsidian eyes told Gekikara so much, and it made her stutter and weakly call the former queen of darkness’s real name in anguish.
“Yu-Yuki…”
The voice merely snickered when it heard Gekikara, mumbling haughtily to itself while it watched from the backstage, enjoying Gekikara’s expression that was torn between, disbelief, sadness, remorse and bewilderment.
[Don’t act so innocently now, because you’ll never be one…]
[…Matsui Rena.]
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End of Part X-I
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A/N: What do you think? Actually, what are you thinking? I wanna know, I do hope I did well, its been long long long since I updated so I'm rather nervous about this....erm, anyways, see you next update! Hopefully I can update soon. :sweatdrop:
Thanks for reading, see you guys around! :cathappy:
( EDIT: PAGE TOPPER! UWAH. Lucky! XD )
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Oh my god, Sieka-sama, this update..... It's the best thing I could find when I woke up, turned on my laptop, went to AKB48 Fanfics in this forum and read slowly: 'Sieka's Collections (Kiriban 10K & Chinmoku - Part X-I: BlackGeki) [07/29/12]'
I read it all hastily, skimming through paragraphs, trying to comprehend if I'm not dreaming or something... Then I yelped out and scared my mom, but I said it's a happiness squeal, so she just rolled her eyes and closed the doors to my room. Then I went back to the beginning of your update and started slowly reading it, putting every word into consideration, letting all the feelings between the lines to overcome me. It's not like I wanted that, but it always happens when I read your updates, Sieka-sama. And it's not a bad thing. It's marvelous, just how amazing of a writer one should be, so to make the reader feel in the characters shoes? I don't think I ever wrote something that made others feel in characters shoes, so it's really inspiring, Sieka-sama, and an applause worthy. This is one of many reasons why you're my god of fanfics, and please don't argue here, you really are a person who I look up too. I would even call you senpai, if I knew you better. But I know you don't want to be called god so casually and openly, that's why I'll keep calling you Sieka-sama.
This update made me happy - but you already know your angst makes me all fluffy inside, don't you XD - and my heart went doki doki with every paragraph. I'm now still trying to put together my thoughts about the story, as all I can write now is this blabbering about how good and awesome you are. I'm not sucking up or something, I'm barely expressing how I feel and it's just the thoughts I can write exposed, as there are thoughts that are only meant only for you and you only. But I'll leave them to some time later, when I gather my courage to write them to you (no yuri content intended XD XD)
So my thoughts about update are revealed, now it's time to try and put together my thoughts about the story... A hard thing to do, so sorry if they are scrambled and unorganized, or if some thoughts are repeating... Like I said before, you leave me speechless with your plots and twists and style of writing, this time is of no exception. But I'll try my best to express all the emotions that are now stirring up inside me.
Black is really a person one should admire, as she's such a self-contained, patient, pain-bearing person.. She had this many wounds on her, especially that deep cut on her shoulder, and yet she tried to be stable, as to not loose sight of Gekikara. (Rena-sama as Gekikara is always enjoyable, and here it was one of the best chapters of yours that I read, as it really perfectly pertained the image and feelings of those two, with all the inner fighting and thoughts and pain. Also not to forget the reminiscence about past, and the emotions that came with it.) Her forgiving to Rena-sama of everything she did, that love she holds dear... It made me nearly shed a tear, and towards the end of this update finally a glister appeared in the corner of my eye. BUT. DEMO. I did not cry. :) Just you know, something got into my eye..
Okay, I know, I was over emotional, but it's Rena-sama we're talking about. Her suffering made me suffer too... I'm glad she finally started to ignore the voice inside her head, that devil schemer side of hers, and I'm really happy she recollected all of her past happenings, despite what emotions it brought to her. At least she's returning to her true self, and that is what matters, if we want Yuki to stay alive and conscious. i don't think Yuki has much strength left to keep struggling with the pain and oncoming loose of consciousness... She had it bad, and most importantly, the one who did all those painful things to her (I try not to imagine love-related "painful" things in bed of those two XD XD) is none other than her beloved Gekikara.
Rena-sama finally realized the person in front of her is the one she loves and the one she "betrayed", though I do not think Yuki feels betrayed, as they both just need to start talking about their feelings and they'll find out they both were holding the same suffering, torment and anguish inside their hearts, thinking that they did bad things to one another, making themselves at fault, and not the other person. I think they need to just try and move on, leaving all the past pain to the past and all the present and future to each other and the baby. Of course, I still think Gekikara has to pay for the things she did, as she killed many people, but her mind was "sick", so she might be unsound (dunno if I made clear here what I wanted to say), so some months of rehab or mental facility should be waiting for her.
Well, it's up to you how you write this story (and you already wrote the next part, I'm waiting for it impatiently), so we'll just have to wait and see what you have up your sleeve with the further development. I'm still trying to comprehend the thought of this being the story I won... It's so long, so awesome, so.... Yes, I became speechless again and at loss of any beautiful words, as they all sound too shabby to make impact and resound of this story's true face (awesomeness in all words possible). Sieka-sama... I'll be really waiting for your next appearance, whenever it will be. I missed you, by the way, so HELLO!!! And yeah, I'm off now, as this was maybe too long and too much of text, but at least I left a proper comment and got half of the things I wanted to say off of my head and chest.
See you later, Sieka-sama.
Always your fan,
sakura_drop_
P.S. Congratulations on 10K, and I hope you reach not only 15K, but also 20K and maybe even 30K.
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Amazing. This entire story is just simply amazing. I've been reading this fanfic and this is my first time commenting I think. There are so many words I want to say about how abosulty amazing this story is but I can't seem to find the write words. This chapter left be speechless. But it also left me on the edge. I want to know what happens to Black and Geki so please update soon. I don't know how long I can wait without losing it myself. Please update soon!
:pleeease: :farofflook: :on speedy: :tantrum:
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OH God NOOOO! :OMG:
I just want to grab your shoulders and shake you like crazy and then :ptam-kiss: and go freaking 100% fangirling mode.
:dizzy: One of few authors that make me applause out of joy. Because this is :thumbsup
You're making me falling in a vortex :on blackhole: and then I went ajfjfksdfdfjk I need you to update ASAP!
:yuki: Yukirin I can feel it I'm going to cry when this fic is finished...
Rena she URGH :frustrated: she :gyaaah:
Way too many emotions...It's dark,it's gruesome,it's captivating.... and :bigdeal: simply(one of)the best!
DAMN IT I CAN*T FIND AN APPLAUSE EMOTICON!!!WHERE IS IT??? :err:
*Runs away for a while and comes back with a gif...yeah are my feelings reaching you?
ArígatoU! :kneelbow:
(http://resources.toolwi.com/resource/preview:2/7f9b61bc7324abd0bc0ff71a6b0d86d7.gif) (http://toolwi.com/giflary/gif/505)
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I'm so happy Geki didn't kill Black.
I wonder what will happen next since Geki know that the person that she almost killed she the person she loves.
This story is amazing.
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Noooo Sieka san don't gooooo. I want to know what happened next T____T argh I'm checking for your update everyday even though I'm literally don't have time to sit down for anything. Gosh poor Gekikara, got haunted by her own develish self. Thank god she did not kill Black T____T but.. but... that girl'd never forgive herself now. I can't wait for the next update. Please keep up the great work
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I can't wait to see what happens next! ヽ(*´Д｀*)ﾉ
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OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
Im very happy that at last you have update
I am waitng for months for your update
I hope you update soon
YOURE STORY IS AWESOME!!
(but i hope it has a happy ending)
but it is okay if it has a tragic one
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:O sieka-san has updated!!
yes yes yes *fist pumps*
have totally been waiting for this :w00t: :w00t:
mannn....this inner turmoil is totally messing with gekikaras head! :panic:
but thankfully she woke up from this nightmare!
even though she has already killed......ITS NOT TOO LATE TO TURN BACK *nod nod*
good thing she realised what she was doing is wrong and black doesnt get butchered into mince meat......
or else what will happen with her baby boy D: poor kids not gonna survive! and even if he does hes gonna wonder why he has such a crap life
haha now that she realised black is right under her....what is she gonna do now? hmm hmmm *moustache appears* ! 8)
cant wait til your next update! :D
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Hi hi! Sieka here, I'm...well, just plainly here to reply to some comments since I have some free time and also to give you a status update on Chinmoku Part X-II!
Let's say...I'm barely even near half completion, but don't worry, I'm working on it, just give me more time and I'll have it posted. :) Anyways, time for some replies! :cathappy:
Replies:
@anzai48 - First time to see you first? Or is my memory just blurry? Hahaha.
Yes yes, that really did happen because Black pushed Gekikara away, but Black wouldn't have pushed Gekikara away had she not acted like that, kissing and molesting Black and all~ :roll: LOL! Omg, maybe that's really what all Black needs to do, to get used to Gekikara's roughness, but I doubt Gekikara would remain rough to Black if she's to return as Rena. You can say that if Geki turns back into Rena, she'd be at the same level, or maybe much more sweeter and gentle than Amakuchi, well, who knows...I still need more to write before I can portray Geki as Rena and Black as Yuki again. :roll: I doubt I'd even have the liberty to do that though since Chinmoku is almost nearing its end, maybe I should do a sequel? :lol:
*nods* True, that memory does mean everything to them because that's the only time where they spent in complete still moment of silence, but a comforting one. If you remember the shot "A Break Time" you can say that that was that memory that Black had, I took it from there. ;)
So, Black never made this confession before?
And what a right time to confess now....
No. Black never confessed to Gekikara in the past, that's why Gekikara fears Black's rejection, because she loves Black and she's afraid that Black would shun her and her feelings for her. Gekikara wouldn't be in this situation if she knew of Black's feelings in the first place, but then again...she could also waver a bit because Black pushed her away, but that wouldn't make sense because if Black had confessed her feelings to Gekikara, they would be a couple and couples are often too touchy touchy, and... *mumbles* ...bed scenes happen in the backstage so...nope! Black never confessed, again, refer to the shot "A Break Time". :sweatdrop: Black only knows she has feelings for Gekikara, but never acted on it because she wanted a perfect moment and time to do it. :lol:
Uh huh, I also remember my childhood day when I wrote that. *sigh* I want my childhood days back, but that's impossible...
Hmm, you want to see Yuki like that? Me too, but that would take me a leg and an arm because its impossible with Chinmoku nearing it's end. llllorz
anzai-san~ You're overly biased with Black, and no, I won't do as you say. I'll do what I want, either to kill her, or to let her live. XD
Well, Geki's out of her mind, that's why she did not notice Black, nor could she even see that the person who she's been fighting is Black because the voice tried to erase Black out of Geki's memories.
Hnn...Geki would go wild if Yuki ever hated her. :lol: I actually liked the thought of it...just think of how much anger and sadness that would be on Geki? She might go on rampage because of that! Weeew! :cathappy:
Errmmm...let me think if I'd give them a happy ending. That's something hard you know, especially with Black bleeding and wounded and Geki still....somehow vulnerable. And yes, I have Black as someone who can withstand pain, it really balances out a relationship.
@sakura_drop_ - Hahaha...you are overly exaggerating. :sweatdrop: And I can't be your senpai, the age doesn't permit it, you are like a nee-san already to me, so please don't exaggerate things, its kinda a bit awkward when you have this kind of author worship on me, I'm not being full of myself and nor am I certain if I worded that out, but hahaha, please, I'm just a normal author like everyone else, I'm not that good... :sweatdrop:
I look up to Black/Yuki you know, so I tried to portray her like that with a quality of a person who can bear all the weight and support people, something like what a leader would have. Besides, Yuki is Team B's captain, so I tried to look up for what kind of quality she has as a captain, I do hope I was somehow a bit accurate with what quality I took. :sweatdrop: Hahaha, the best chapter? I actually liked Part IX more because they were fighting there and Gekikara was being the usual insane bloody craving Geki that she is in MG, but I'm glad that you think that this chapter is the best, that makes me feel relieved. :) Aw? You didn't cry? I actually wanted my readers to cry...I'll just have to try harder to make someone shed a tear huh? One way or another in my other fics... :lol:
Hahaha, you know, Geki can always come back to being insane and think that she's just hallucinating, she'd go insane and wild and her voice might take over completely and kill Black...okay that's just my sadistic side talking, don't mind me. :sweatdrop: PUAHAHAHA, Omg, I had a good laugh.... "Bed related pain" Hahaha, that's just so so funny...but yes, Yuki might not be able to take another painful strike because she's already weak and in the line of losing consciousness and maybe...even her life.
Ah? Why do you think Yuki is betrayed? Though Geki did not keep her promise, I doubt Yuki would feel betrayed because she knows that Geki has her own share of problems and yes, as you've said, its true, they need to leave the past to the past and just move onto the present and await what's to come for them in the future, or else, they'd just be forever chained and caged in a room with regrets, anger and sadness in their hearts. Kinda sad if you have to hold a deep grudge for too long and you can't let it go, it would just consume you until you're nothing but a shell of your former self, like Yuki. For Geki's case, seeking revenge isn't a way to get something back, because no matter how much you want to turn everything to the other way, nothing can undo what has been done, what Geki needs is to seek happiness to replace the sad and horrible things that have happened to her in the past, but just when and how is the only thing that Geki needs to answer. :)
Of course, Geki has to repay for what she did, just how I'll do that, that's purely up to my sadistic mind. :lol:
@miyumi - Ahahaha...I don't know if I can update that soon, but please, just wait for me a little, and hopefully, I can post it up. Thank you for taking your time to comment though. :)
@Megumi - Omg...you really wanted to do that? Hahaha, looks like I made you wait for too long. I'm terribly sorry for that... :sweatdrop: And yes, your feelings have gotten through me. Thank you for supporting Chinmoku up until here! I really appreciated your support and everyone else and that itself is enough feelings for me to get through. Without you guys, Chinmoku wouldn't be here. :)
@blackstar - Aw, you know, I wanted Geki to kill Black...but that wouldn't leave that much impact, and the fans of Yuki/Black would hunt me down and kill me. XD Ah, thank you for thinking that this story is amazing. I hope I can do my best to make it last up to the end. :)
@dukkong - Uwah...you do that much? I'm sorry if I didn't update soon and that I took awhile...I'll do my best to update soon! And, maybe you are right...maybe Geki won't ever forgive herself for this...but at least its good that she didn't kill Black, or else she might have gone mad and killed herself in the process. :sweatdrop:
@Reikian - I'll do my best to update soon so you don't have to wait for too long... (^u ^
@Chikane Himemiya - Thank you for waiting patiently! I do hope I update soon. Thank you for reading. :)
@Pandah - No she hasn't killed Black...yet. :roll: Hahaha, I still have this evil thoughts lingering about killing Black. :lol: But yes, its not too late for Geki to stop and turn back and escape from taking Black's life with her own hands.
Yep, Black was sure to be a goner if Geki's sanity didn't turn back...Geki might have even chopped her head off and took out her heart if ever Geki was still in her mad state and that would have been gruesome to read. Hmm, the kid, hahaha...surely, someone else would take care of him in Black's stead if she ever dies, just that, he'd live up not to see his parents and Geki would be the likely fault to all these.
The moustache....!!!!!!! It appeared! (OA O
What a magical moustache that is!! XD
Everyone, thank you for the comments and the thank you's!
I'm really happy that I've received these much! Hopefully, the next update would also be well received. I'll do my best to make it good! :)
Thank you again! See you guys around, I'll go back to the shadows and write my updates. :cathappy:
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Hey Sieka sorry I'm late with my update!
Wow what a chapter, especially when you think alot of the conversation in it was with techincally 1 person.
but all those words (or indeed thoughts) came from 4 simple words 'I love you Rena'
And maybe that is really what is important here, though this in reality is about Rena conquering herself, or indeed even Geki depending if you see then as one and the same she would not of been able to if it was not for Blacks intervention, in this case the words that she said, it started Rena on the path to beating Geki, a battle which she had to win herself but also one that she could perhpas never of even started if not for Yuki herself finding her own bravery and saying those words to Rena.....
In part it's also if Yuki knew that this was a fight that Rena must of had, not with her, but with Geki. I think she also knew that she would always be the one to play a key role in it and that she herself needed the courage to admit her feelings for Rena so that Rena could take that strength, the strength of the love that they truly had for each other to beat her inner deamons!
great chapter!
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A/N: *appears*
Hello! Sieka is back again, this time I'm here with a one-shot with me! And no, its not BlackGeki or YukiRena related, don't worry. I don't always write about them in my spare time...I do write other pairs too. :) Anyways, I have nothing much to say by thank you to everyone for still sticking up with me even though I took really long with Chinmoku. I know I spent like 2 months off without any updates and I'm terribly sorry for that.
Anyways, before we go with the shot, gonna reply first to oddball-san and anzai-san! :cathappy:
Replies:
@oddball - It's fine, I'm happy that you even commented. You don't need to give me early replies, just comment when you can, I know everyone's busy. :)
Ah, yes, most of the conversation are technically between Rena and the voice, and I didn't even notice that the whole chapter stemmed from that four simple words that Black said to Geki! I mean it wasn't in my mind, I just wrote what I wanted. So now that you and anzai-san have pointed it out, it somehow made me laugh. :lol:
Again, such an interesting deduction from you. You never fail to amaze me oddball-san. :) Indeed, as you've said, this is now a conquest for Rena to overcome the voice inside herself and to become sane once more without the voice controlling over her. Thanks to Black's help, she might have made it better or worse for Rena. Though, you are partly wrong with one thing, Black never knew she what was bothering Rena, she did not know about the voice or being a key role in helping Rena out. She just wanted to say her pure and utmost honest feelings to Geki before she gets slayed by her, but then...she didn't because it somehow awakened Geki's sanity back. :) The strength of love huh? Sometimes that's just a fairytale thing. Doesn't always happen in real life. :lol:
@anzai48 - Finally. You've revealed your thoughts anzai-san. I was waiting for you to tell me that. :lol: Hopefully, what you said is true because I'll take your words for granted. 8)
Hahaha, I didn't expect it though. I mean, I never intended to make a whole chapter based on just those four simple words of confession from Black. Lol, I never even noticed until you and oddball-san made me realize it. Hahaha. :lol:
And that's it! Thanks for the comment you two. :)
Now lets get on with the shot, I hope I actually did this right...and if anyone missed my update for Chinmoku, its further up, just scroll and you'll see it, or just go to the first page and click Chinmoku Part X-I. :) Anyways, with that said, here's my shot! Hope you enjoy, I tried to minimize the length so that it doesn't get too lengthy.
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I’ll make it up to you
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One-shot
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Sounds of fumbling clothes and rustling blankets, panicking noises and hushes filled the inside of the shared hotel room, it was dark inside the room, only the lamppost offering a small slitter of light. Two persons silhouette could be seen in the center of the bed, the first person sitting on top of the lap of a fidgeting person; ushers and annoyed hisses coming from both of them as the other figure tried to fight off the inappropriate gestures of the person on top at bay.
“What are you doing…? Stop it.” The older girl hissed as she tried to push away the younger girl sitting on her lap, a frown on her face to conceal her deep annoyance while the darkening flush on her face told otherwise a different emotion.
She wanted to stop this; this absurdity that’s happening. She did not want something like this, not in this kind of situation wherein their both at each other’s throats for reasons that are due to their own personality clashing onto one another.
It can’t be helped, was the older girl’s thoughts, but that doesn’t mean that she would allow this to happen.
Not in this kind of way at the very least.
She tried to fend off the other girl’s offending hands while the younger girl continued to try prying open the older girl’s shirt buttons, an equally annoyed frown on her face, a growl escaping from her lips as her efforts turned in vein with the other girl struggling to keep her from getting any progress.
It didn’t make the younger girl falter, instead, she continued, this time much more forcefully, grabbing a hold on the older girl’s wrist before pulling it up over her head, successfully pinning it before she captured the other girl’s other wrist and placed it up along with the other one, making the older girl release a hiss.
“Stop it already Kasai! This isn’t the time for jokes!” The older girl barked; attempting to free her wrists from the younger girl’s strong grip as anxiety started to build up further in her heart.
Never had she seen the young brunette like this, to be exact, she never had seen her act this way; that is until now. It made her feel dreadful, seeing the younger girl’s expression, the aura around her was completely different from her usual cutesy and innocent aura, it was almost as if Tomochin was not facing Kasai Tomomi, but someone else using her face.
It scared her, this completely different side of the younger brunette.
“No.” Came a short cold reply from her mouth, securing Tomochin’s bounds before she adjusted herself comfortably in the older girl’s lap. Leaning forward, she copped the the older girl’s warm cheeks as she pulled Tomochin’s face towards her.
“I’ve had enough Tomochin.” Tomo~mi said, stopping from referring herself in first person rather than by her own name, her normally cutesy type of tone gone as well.
“Had enough of what?” The older girl asked while she wriggled her body, trying to push the young brunette off her lap, only to make Tomo~mi tighten her hold on her wrist, a blazing look of anger in her brown orbs as she stared at Tomochin’s own in irritation. The younger brunette pulled out something from behind her while the fanged beauty struggled, only to fail in her attempts when she saw the young brunette tied her wrists together with a handkerchief, tightening the knot, making it impossible for Tomochin to free herself.
“Tomo~mi! Let me go!”
Tomochin gritted her teeth together and glared at the brunette, growling angrily at her with a large angry frown plastered on her face. The young brunette however merely ignored her deathly frightening stares and looked away. Simply averting her eyes from the older girl’s as she let out a tired sad sigh.
“I barely even get to see you…much less spend some time with you.”
“I can’t just let you go you know, now that I have this chance.” Tomo~mi mumbled while she stood up and hopped off Tomochin, leaving the older girl lying on the bed, still bounded by the handkerchief that tied both her wrists in place.
“Tomo~mi, stop it already. I don’t have time for these jokes.” Tomochin sighed; she turned to her side and stared at Tomo~mi’s back, watching as the younger girl shook her head before shrugging her shoulders in what seemed to be a disappointed act.
“It’s kind of depressing for you to say that when I’m not even in the mood to joke around Tomochin.”
“How would I know if you weren’t joking around? You always seem to be joking.” The fashion queen grumbled her statement, to the younger girl bitterly laughed at while she turned around to face the older brunette, “You’re right. I’m always joking around…Well, trying at least.”
Tomochin frowned at the usually cheerful young brunette, wondering why her tone suddenly became bitter and sad, yet she shook the thoughts off, knowing that this wasn’t the time for her to contemplate about this sort of things. She still needed to get out of this situation.
“Just what exactly are you aiming for here, what do you want from me?”
She pursed her lips into a tight line, staring back into Tomo~mi’s eyes, as she asked, no, commanded the other girl with a powerful voice that was enough to make even Tomochin herself frown at the harshness of her own tone when she noticed the sad frown on the young brunette’s face.
“Is this really bad Tomochin?” Tomo~mi asked in a startling small voice that sounded like that of a trembling small child’s own, as if scared and anxious. Tomo~mi also looked like a scolded child, especially with the way she pursed her lips. The older brunette closed her mouth shut, eyes lowering down as she felt slightly guilty for the sudden rudeness she had committed to the other Tomomi.
“You know, I wouldn’t be doing this if I had a better option. I simply just wanted to spend some time with you since we’re rarely together…”
“Is it bad?” The younger Tomomi sighed as she looked away from Tomochin’s gaze as she focused on vision on her hands, watching them as they tightly held the side of her loose white blouse. She closed her eyes, and anticipated for Tomochin’s answer, already feeling dreadful that the older girl might say ‘Yes’.
Tomochin knitted her brows together in a tight furrow; she looked up to the ceiling of their shared room before looking at her bounded wrists. What the younger girl said was true, they did spend less and less time together now that their schedules were jammed pack thanks to all the promotion they needed to do not only for their performance but for their new album. Rarely do they even have the chance to have time for rest, nor to even have time for one another, and it made her guilty that she could not even give a little bit of her time to the younger Tomomi.
Tomochin propped herself up, though having a bit of a problem due to her bounded hands, she was successfully able to sit up. Her actions however made Tomo~mi raise a brow, slightly confused and lost as to what the older girl was planning, but instead of trying to pry, she waited for her reply as she found it more important.
She wanted to know what Tomochin thinks, and if ever the older girl said that ‘Yes’, then Tomo~mi would have no choice but to just let everything slip off, knowing that forcing her would just make everything bad not only for her, but for them as a pair.
“No…” Tomochin whispered while she shook her head as she approached the other Tomomi, startling the younger girl as she had expected Tomochin to agree instead of disagreeing. Stunned, Tomo~mi loosed her grip on her blouse while Tomochin merely let out a light chuckle to escape from her lips.
“It isn’t bad. It’s partly my fault that we don’t get to spend time together either.” Tomochin mused sadly as she thought of the times she just shrugged off the younger girl’s advances or invitations to hang out; slightly regretting that she had been a bit blockheaded in the younger girl’s true motive.
“Tomochin…” Tomo~mi mumbled softly.
“I’m sorry Tomo.”
“I promise; I’ll make it up to you.” Tomochin smiled softly to the brunette, showing her fangs to the younger girl when she looked back up to look into Tomo~mi’s startled eyes. The older Tomomi suppressed her laughter when she saw the younger girl merely nod in response in a dazed expression.
Tomo~mi however recovered immediately from zoning out and pouted cutely at the older girl, furrowing her brows together.
“Mou…you didn’t have to laugh.”
“Sorry, sorry…” Tomochin giggled while Tomo~mi merely huffed before her lips formed into a large smile.
She slowly approached Tomochin and touched her wrist as she worked on the knot of the handkerchief, freeing the older girl from her bounds. She then brought up Tomochin’s wrist to her face and place a soft small kiss on both her wrist before she entwined her fingers with Tomochin’s, making the older Tomomi smile.
“You’re forgiven, if you forgive me too for my own actions.” Tomo~mi said, pausing as she looked deep into the older girl’s eyes as she continued off, “Would you?”
“Heh…There’s nothing to be forgiven. Idiot…” Tomochin grinned as she wrapped one arm around Tomo~mi’s neck, pulling her close to her body. The warm gesture made the young brunette sigh in content as she snuggled into the crook of the older girl’s neck, finding comfort in her embrace.
“You’ll have to spend more time with me from now on…” She mumbled, only to be muffled out, yet Tomochin knew what the younger girl said and smiled.
The fashion queen slowly broke the embrace to place a small peck on Tomo~mi’s forehead, which earned a lovely cute smile from the younger girl. They both embraced again afterwards with Tomochin tightening her embrace around the younger Tomomi, feeling content and happy in her arms.
“Of course I will.”
She’ll make it up to the younger girl, and she’ll make sure of it.
‘It’s my promise to you, and to me.’
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End
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A/N: How is it? I hope I did well for TomoTomo, it's been a while since I've wrote about another pair that isn't BlackGeki or YukiRena, hopefully I did it right. ^ ^lll Anyways, see you guys later on, gonna go back to doing some of my updates before I turn in for the night.
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Arrrghh... Tomotomo fics are really rare here. And the good ones are practically on hiatus, or has been finished. :cry:
Sieka-san... I like it a lot. :luvluv1:
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Sieka-sama, you like always did a good, no, perfect job to portray what they are feeling, and to go on smoothly with the story. I admire what you write and nothing will change my mind about you being my god of fanfics. This one shot of Tomotomo was really sweet, I loved it, though the tension was from the very beginning, like in all other your stories. Thank you :bow: :bow: *hides in the shadows*
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Aww tomotomo couple so cute.. but this time chiyuu was so.... rude :D
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Tomotomo is one of my favorite pairings and I cant find alot of fics on them.
Thank You it was great
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it's always refreshing to see TomoTomo...these two need more screen time on fanfic section...
me want TomoTomo hot bed scene :on bleed:
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Tomotomo!!!! Great!!!
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A/N: Sieka here! I'm back again to post another one, this time it isn't an OS...I thought it would be, but then again...I somehow got the feeling that it might be a few parts long as Chinmoku, so I'll place it as a story! Been having some spare time to write a few of the OS and stories in my folder and I hope I get to clear a few of them because certainly, there is a lot of them. :sweatdrop:
Anyways, before we go to Part I of this new story, gonna reply to some comments.
Replies:
@stv_wong - True, its rare to have TomoTomo here. There isn't that much fic with them as just the pair in the fic too. Kinda sad, its a good pair too. :sweatdrop:
@sakura_drop_ - "-sama" again? *sigh* Can't you just use -san instead sakura-san? And I like tension, its my signature for my fics and of course, tension is my specialty as well as favorite. :)
@Haruko - Well, sorry if Tomo~mi was a bit rude? At least she got her point across to Tomochin. :lol:
@blackstar - True true, its never a lot of them in the fanfic section, so I'm glad to add at least one more to the few stories here, and thank you for the comment. :)
@bunny_rabbit - I agree, they really do need more fics here. Those two are good characters and them as a pairing is something nice to explore. :) Ahahaha, bed scene? Wahaha, I was intending for that at the start, but I still can't handle making those kind of scenes yet. :lol:
@kahem - :thumbsup
Thanks for the comments and thank yous! Now lets move on to this new story! I hope it won't be my mistake to write and post this one because this was just a random thought that was born through a few inspiration from watching some PVs from SKE48 and AKB48. :lol: Anyways, hope you enjoy. (I am very aware that I have yet again added a story that I need to update...so hopefully...I can update it along with WMtMiY. It's kinda bad when my OS turns into full blown stories...uwah, why does this always happen to me?)
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Segenfreude
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Part I
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Rushed footsteps, heavy sounds of breathing and worried glances, the raven ran away from her pursuers, desperately trying to get a larger distance away from the three men that kept snickering and cackling madly as they ran after her.
It had been several minutes since she had initiated the run, having been approached and talked inappropriately by the said men that were chasing her while she was on her way home was enough of a reason for that to happen. Although frankly, even with a few meters distance away from them, it still proved to be a challenge for her to escape from them as they have just as much stamina and determination as she had to run and catch up with her.
Rena frowned, gritting her teeth while she continued running in frustration. Aimlessly taking all the available paths in the way, she quickly turned around a corner, running straight into the alley while taking quick cautious steps, Rena evaded the strewn off items and garbage bags filling the space of the alley. Letting out a sigh of relief as she safely passed through them, pausing for a moment to catch up her breath, only to cringe and tremble in fear as she heard her pursuers nearing her as they stepped on anything and everything, creating sounds of cracking or smashing of bottles and styrofoam under their weights, not caring whether their clothes were to get splattered by garbage and dirty water.
Not taking up any chances anymore, the raven instantly made a run for it, ignoring the painful jolt that she received from her swift yet heavy steps as she ran for her life, dreading the thought of being caught by her pursuers.
Today was definitely not her day and Rena regretted the fact that she had not left school early and had instead extended her stay there, just working on some files and class president tasks that had piled up through the days even with her extended efforts to keep them from piling up. Though she already had been warned by her friend, Churi, to come home early due to the dread of the forces at night, Rena had not pay any close attention to her heed, and shrugged it off, convinced and confident that nothing bad would happen to her while traveling back to the comforts of her house. But contrary to that, here she was, running away from three men, travelling in this dark and wet alley.
Today was a bad day, the worst and most horrifying day she ever had experienced in her life. It was bad enough that no one was in plain sight while Rena was walking through the streets; it was as if the people had chosen to take up a different route or hide just to avoid her, which bought her misfortune.
The raven muttered an incoherent word under her breath while her eyes scanned her whole surrounding as swiftly as possible, before running back again, not noticing the pile of items strewn near her feet, a likely bad mistake which caused her to stumble and fall to the ground, groaning in pain. Rena tried to move back up, only to feel her ankle jolt in pain.
The raven growled in frustration and pain, not wanting to give up because she did not want to be caught by those men, but all hopes of escaping soon diminished when she heard their footsteps close behind her. Her shoulders instantly stiffened as a heavy weight was pressed on them. The feeling of darkness looming over her started to feel heavy and certain, she felt like the door to her closest exit was closed down and locked off, leaving her with an empty feeling that was only filled in by despair and fright.
Rena shakily turned her head to her side, trembling as she slowly took a peek over her shoulders, her eyes wide with fear and horror when she stared at who had just tapped her shoulder. The three men were all smirking, panting a bit yet they held satisfied smug expressions on their faces while they casted a look at her body, scanning her from top to bottom, adorned with lustful and savage looks in their eyes.
The young teen trembled under their hungry gazes, taking a small step back, only to trip on her feet, landing on the ground painfully, but due to the fear running high in her blood, the raven did not feel the aftereffect of that painful fall.
Rena tried to scoot away from them, however, since she had already met a dead end, her back only pressed on the cold hard brick wall that made up the others walls in the alley.
The raven grit her teeth painfully hard, heaving quick shallow breathes, Rena felt herself shrink as the men slowly made their way towards her, surrounding her trembling body with greasy smiles on their lips, one man reached a hand towards her, roughly grabbing her cheeks, cupping it with calloused hands.
Suddenly, without warning, her position was shifted and she was pushed down the ground, the raven teen let out a startled pained gasp, feeling the cold hard floor on her back; the intense sensation of pain crept into her body only to disappear immensely when she watched in pure horror as the men gathered around her body, with one straddling her.
Rena wanted to scream, yet a hand was pressed on her mouth, tightly muffling her voice. She tried to struggle, twisting and turning her body as she kept trying to pry off the weight on her, but to no avail, the man’s weight on her body was far heavy, that and the other two men held her in place, roughly and tightly grabbing both of her wrists which made her struggles in vein.
“Don’t worry miss; it’ll only hurt just for a little while…” The man grinned viciously, hissing the words, his voice caressing, yet menacing and dangerous.
The young teen’s eyes immediately stared up to look at the man’s face, eyes wide with fear and horror, unable to look away as her body froze on the spot due to feeling the dreadfulness of reality crash down on her.
“…You’ll feel good sooner afterwards.” The man snickered, his hands slowly trailed down from Rena’s mouth to her neck, caressing slow light traces before it aimed forward to the poor raven’s school uniform. His other companions cackled evilly when the man reaped off her blouse open, the buttons flying off, revealing her chest to them. With that in the open, it only served to fuel the hunger of the beastly men, the pure hungry looks of lust and desires clouding their eyes; they drooled like savage beasts, as they kept their greedy eyes on the slim raven’s body, staring at the raven’s exposed upper body with prying eyes.
The raven let out a muffled cry at the stares she was receiving, feeling embarrassed and sullied at being exposed. Tears were slowly brimming in her eyes before they soon fell down her cheeks. She felt hopeless and lost, unable to do anything but to lie on her back and watch what will unfold, she felt everything dreadful; sadness and misery weighing in more in her heart.
Why did this have to happen to her?
Why?
‘…What did I deserve…to have this happen to me…?’
Rena closed her eyes together, letting darkness quickly invade her vision as more fresh tears cascade down her cheeks, the men’s laughter turning into howling and cackling as their hands roughly caressed her exposed flesh.
She choked down a sob, letting out a muffled cry once more at the uncomfortable feeling of rough calloused hands stroking her, yet Rena could not struggle, her body already feeling tired and limp from all the running she had done. The young teen no longer could stand struggling, knowing that it was futile, she just let everything happen, knowing that any means of struggling was useless.
It was too soon to give up, but Rena could not help it, there was no hope for her after all.
However, nothing was certain after Rena had stumbled down onto the ground, from the very beginning itself, she knew that she had a low chance of getting away from those men, yet she gambled on that chance, only to be caught, to be disappointed, and left lost and hopeless in the end.
This had to be the most terrible and darkest moment in her life, this moment where she was soon to be violated by people whom she does not know, and losing her virginity to these men that she does not love.
Fate must be laughing at her for making something as horrible as this to happen to her.
Just when she was about to revert further into more self-pitying thoughts an unexpected occurrence happened, something that she thought would not come, yet it felt like a God’s send to her, having someone finally come to her rescue.
Rena heard a voice of a female, a voice that suddenly called from out of nowhere, its tone deep, raspy, and cold, just as sharp as a well-furnished knife, yet there was no hint of malice, it was just simply demanding, oh so demandingly dangerous.
“Stop; let her go.”
The men halted their actions, looking up, even the raven.
Hearing the voice, Rena opened her eyes and stared from where the direction of the voice came from, her eyes sparkling due to the tears that she had shed. She tried to look past through the dark, trying to look at the figure of the person that held that voice, yet she failed to see as it too dark and far for her to be able to get a glimpse of. Instead, Rena prayed, hoping silently that that person would save her.
“Let her go? As if we’d do that!” The man laughed haughtily along with the two others, not wanting to listen to the voice.
“I warn you…”
“Don’t blame me later for what’s going to happen next.” The voice coldly uttered, brimming with confidence.
The men merely snickered at the words that they heard, finding no threat in the unknown person’s words.
A small clicking sound resounded in the alley, causing the men to suddenly shifted from their positions, staring at the shadows, alert and cautious of what was to come, yet a sneering expression on their faces. Suddenly, a small metal ball rolled from out of the darkness, catching raven’s and the men’s attention.
The small metal ball slowly rolled down to their location, only to stop a few meters away from them, everyone’s attention still grasped by the ball, and without warning, something leapt from out of the shadows, everything coming too swiftly as a quick black and red blur came into plain sight. The mysterious interrupter pounced on one of the men, attacking from point blank from the depths of the darkness like it was a part of the shadows. It used its fingers, gouging the man’s eyes that sent the man to let out a stomach lurching scream before it died down abruptly as the man’s head was detached from his body with a quick swift slash from the shadow-like figure’s hands.
The black figure stood in front of the corpse, hands grasping the dead man’s head, using its fingers and palm to make ear piercing crunching sounds of bone being destroyed as blood continued to spray and splatter on the floor, painting it with deep crimson liquid.
The suddenness of everything took both the other two men and the young teen shocked and horrified at what had occurred just over a few seconds, the events happening extremely fast.
Recovering sooner than his comrade, the man pushed himself off of the girl he was pinning, he stood up and took a step forward to the figure before him, glaring menacingly while baring his teeth at the this mystery intruder.
“You’ll pay for that you scum!” He barked angrily, charging forward, he threw a strong jab, aiming directly for the shady figure’s face. The unknown person dodged its head before sending a counter attack, landing a jaw-breaking uppercut while another fist landed straight through the man’s chest. The impact itself was so strong that it caused the man to stagger back, coughing out blood.
“Urk!” The man gasped, wheezing in pain at the deadly blow. He stared down at the ground with downcast eyes, watching as blood dripped down and soiled the ground. The man furrowed his brows together as he looked up and glared at his seemingly nonchalant opponent.
Blood slowly wet the man’s clothes, coloring it with deep crimson as the man’s top got soaked, yet he still stood, legs trembling, arms slumped, a pained expression etched on his face as he tried to catch his breath, coughing blood whilst grasping his chest as he cupped it, his hands painted with the exact same color as the one soaking his clothes as he touched the hole on his chest, while staring at the figure with pure hatred in his eyes.
The man stared at the beating muscle in the shady figure’s hands, watching as the hand grasping it tightened its hold around the muscle, causing the beating to lessened and slow down until it died down with a final struggling beat.
“Damn…you scum…” He said weakly mustered, coughing out more blood before he slowly collapsed and fell on the floor, blood slowly pooling below the corpse.
The figure merely clicked its tongue in response, dropping down the corpse’s heart, crushing it under its feet, sending its pieces flying and splattering on the floor, blood mixed in with the minced pieces of flesh that dirtied the ground. The overall sight was gruesome and menacing, the atmosphere turned even more dangerous and dark, it was hard to breathe as the smell of the blood penetrated and filled their lungs.
The young raven choked down on her saliva as she tried to breath, grasping her neck as she coughed at the foul smell that entered her nostrils. She sat up quickly and took a deep breath, closing her eyes tightly while she had her head turned to the other direction, wanting to scream, yet unable to do so with her voice caught up in her throat.
The scene that she had watched before her very eyes left her traumatized and frightened, it was as if she had had a glimpse of death, the atmosphere itself wasn’t helping either.
The last man out of the group has his eyes already too wide due to the horror of witnessing his comrade’s deaths; he choked down a gasp in surprise as he felt himself suddenly jerked forward with hands grasping his neck painfully tight, lifting him up from the ground which caused him to panic.
He growled and trashed, grasping the hand that held him up, trying to pry it off his neck, yet the grip only tightened, worsening his condition.
“I warned you already…”
“Now you’ll pay for your insolence…” The figure whispered darkly, gripping the man’s neck tightly with immense inhuman strength, emitting a pained scream from its victim before the sound was cut off when it crushed the man’s throat and windpipe, the sounds of bones cracking coming along.
Soon, the man’s body limped, lifeless and unmoving in the figure’s hands like a puppet disconnected from its strings. Unconcerned, it threw the corpse off, letting it drop onto the ground with a heavy thud, splattering more blood on the floor as the corpse landed on a big pool of blood, effectively splattering a single droplet of blood on the young raven’s face, startling her.
Dark obsidians orbs slowly came into view once the raven opened her eyes again and she stared with eyes wide in fear at the mysterious person in front of her. She shivered, trembling immensely while she huddled herself, pressing her body firmly to the wall as she tried to keep her eyes away from the bloody pile of mess, located just a few meters away from her.
The raven tried to distract herself, mumbling incoherent words under her breath, not wanting to see the images of the dead men that were once trying to violate her long ago, knowing that she would just double over to the ground and empty her stomach.
She felt dizzy.
Her head was pounding madly that it caused a painful quaking feeling that sent her head aching badly. She clutched her head, coughing a bit when she inhaled. Her nostrils and lungs not used to the horrid stench of blood and flesh, making her tear-up a bit as her lungs were refusing the air she breathed due to the unpleasant smell clinging in the air.
She tried to calm her nerves, finding her chest slowly tightening and constricting her, making even breathing harder to do.
Rena felt scared, having to see something horrifying as a scene with someone killing of people was far more traumatic that she could ever imagine it would be. Now she was half-wishing that she could turn time back, wanting to change everything, wishing that she was not stuck in this position, wishing that nothing bad ever happened, but that wish was impossible.
The unknown figure turned its head towards Rena, staring cautiously at her with dilated crimson red orbs; a dangerous glint was shone brilliantly and it left her feeling more terrified when it slowly walked towards her.
Step by step, the figure was now crossing the distance between her, and every time she heard each step the figure took, it left her feeling dreadful and hopeless until it was in front of her, staring at her intently. The frightened raven stared back, panting and gasping for breath, only to choke down a sob when she saw the figure kneel in front of her, a hand reaching towards her.
Scared; Rena closed her eyes; squinting them shut as tightly as possible while she waited for blow, only to be startled at the sudden texture of something soft yet cold touching her cheek.
She hesitantly opened her eyes, taking a quick peek and was surprised at the hand that gently cradled her face. Rena momentarily stared at the hand that touched her cheek before her eyes trailed up the arm to the person’s face, but needless to say, it was too dark for her to see what her savior looked like. What she did know was she was starting to relax in this unknown person’s presence, but before she could even lean into her savior’s hand, immediately, the young raven shifted a bit in her position, pushing herself away from the figure’s hand, finding the wrong to find comfort in a murderer’s presence.
Noticing the discomfort of the young student, it merely let out a sigh as it retracted its hand back, letting it fall to its side before it stood up, looking towards the exit of the alley with cold hard eyes, an unpleased expression casted on its face as it kept it’s gaze at the alley exit where the light brightly sparkled, the noises of sirens slowly echoing from a distance.
The police were coming soon, and there was no way that it’d stay to be arrested. Alarmed as the sirens blared louder and louder, the mystery person turned its head to look over its shoulder, staring at the bloody massacre it had done while taking note of the trembling young raven that sat still on the ground.
‘I can’t just leave her alone here…’
It clicked its tongue in irritation while maintaining an emotionless expression that masked the mysterious person’s thoughts and without a second thought; it crouched down again and wrapped its arms around the raven, surprising her.
“W-What are you doing…?!” Rena yelped in fear and anxiety as soon as she was lifted up with ease. She sharply looked into her the person’s face, only to get a blank emotionless gaze back as the mysterious figure only ignored her question and walked slowly, taking small footsteps with its heels making small clicking sounds that echoed throughout the dark alley. No sooner, Rena felt the pace increase until her mysterious savior was no longer walking, but striding.
Alarmed at the its sudden actions, the raven panicked, struggling to free herself from her captor’s grasp, only to let out a small squeak when she felt the arms that supported her legs and shoulders tightened in response to her actions and without warning, she felt warm puffs of breath on her ears, along with a silent whisper.
“If I were you…I wouldn’t struggle, or else you’d fall to the ground. It won’t be a pretty sight.”
“What do you…mean?” The raven asked breathlessly with cheeks flushed red at the tickling sensation of someone’s warm breath on her ear. She tried to ignore the pleasantry that it gave to her, seeing a fault in enjoying this sudden occurrence.
“It’s just that, it’s dangerous.” Came a short reply that confused Rena.
“D-Dangerous? Wha—Ah!” The raven screamed when she turned to look forward, unintentionally looking down, only to see that they were standing near the railing of the rooftop of a tall skyscraper. Rena turned her head back to look at her captor, only to be captivated when she met face to face with a beautiful black beauty gazing at her with the very same obsidian orbs in that dark alley.
A large lump formed in the young teen’s throat, Rena stared in wide amazement at how beautiful the other raven was, even amidst the droplets of blood that smeared and painted her skin, just from the lighting alone enhanced what beauty the girl possessed: from the contour of her face, her pale white skin and the wonderful features of her face, they were all well enhanced by the light that gave her a sparkling effect. The light itself also aided and enabled Rena to see what exactly her savior look like. It somehow struck her hard that her savior was a female, and somehow, she possessed immense strength, but other than that, Rena felt self-conscious in the other girl’s presence due to the stares she was garnering from the other girl.
“I told you. I meant exactly what I just said.” Her captor hummed before she jolted forward, taking a large leap as the she ran towards into the darkness. Surprised at the sudden action, a small squeak immediately escaped the young student’s mouth as Rena felt the wind gust towards them, mindlessly blowing her hair back as she felt the black beauty ran forward at a fast speed. What scared the raven the most was when she re-opened her eyes, she saw that her captor was preparing to jump off the very top of the skyscraper; and that brought Rena immense terror.
“D-Don’t, don’t jump!” She screamed; begging for the other person to stop, only to see a small smile form on her lips as her captor leapt off, confirming her fears immediately.
Frightened, the raven closed her eyes tightly and wrapped her arms around her captor’s neck, pulling herself close to the black beauty’s chest as Rena clung tightly for dear life, finding her heartbeat rising at an impossible and inhumane rate from fear as she felt herself being blown backward with the wind rushing past them.
Rena gritted her teeth together, resisting the urge to scream out loud in fear as she felt them falling rapidly, but that fear immediately disappeared when she felt the other girl tighten her grasp around Rena while the wind continue to strongly blow past them as they fell. But before she knew it, Rena felt her senses darkened with the only sound of her own heart beating echoing in her head as it pulled all of her senses into oblivion.
The black beauty glanced at the young girl in her arms, and merely tightened her grasp around her, encasing Rena in a warm embrace, securing her as the two of them continue to fall down rapidly before both of them vanished from plain view after passing through the shadows under the starry night sky.
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End of Part I
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A/N: Hnn...I wonder where this is going...lol, actually I know where it's gonna go, but its a bit vague in a way. This would probably be not on my top priority to write because I have Chinmoku as my top most priority to do while some stories are on hiatus for now due to lack of inspiration to write them. Anyways, see you guys around for the forums and for when I'm gonna post something again.
Again, page topper...what luck. Lol. XDD
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wahhh! this is very interesting! and its BlackxRena!!! :wub:
I alredy like it~
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first time read the tittle i was like 'what?! sigmund freud? :stoned:
but then it was segenfreude...
one stupid question from stupid me : what is segenfreude mean :dunno:
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*saves spot for a proper comment*
I'm here to edit this post, yet I'm doing this already for a few days, and can't organize my thoughts so well.. Must be the fever. I'll properly edit this, and also comment on the next update whenever I feel better :bow: :bow:
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Yuki is so cool!!!
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A/N: Sieka here again...I've been finishing bits and bits of the chapters I've left half finished, so now I'm gonna post again. I just did this today since I had a free time. You know how it is here in the Philippines...we got struck badly by the rain so we had class suspensions, I haven't gone to school since Tuesday actually and tomorrow, we finally have classes, but since we missed a lot of classes, we're gonna have to pay a big price. I doubt I'd have any term break on my first term of university, so...uhh...lemme just savor this moment and regret later about this missed up classes.
Let's see, before we go to the update, some replies.
Replies:
@yuukimoko - Thanks. :)
@bunny_rabbit - Hahaha, Sigmund Freud. :lol: Segenfreud is a german word, which means "Blessing Joy". :)
@sakura_drop_ - Take all the time you need when you want to comment. :lol:
@kahem - Yuki is always cool. 8) I want to make her even more cooler next time. :lol:
Thanks to everyone's thank yous and comments. Let's go with this. It's been really long long long since I've updated for this story...maybe I shouldn't place this on hiatus, this is a bit dire after all to Chinmoku since it would at least explain why Geki's a bit........hrmm, like that. Mah, lemme decide on that then I'll get back on you guys. :lol:
Ah, please keep in mind, this is Rena's POV. Anyways, have fun reading. :)
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Our Past Together
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Part II
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I hate school. I hate it to a certain degree, it reminds me of my home, of my parents and of the tortures I keep on receiving from them. It reminds me of how cruel reality is, how everyone is all the same.
I do not care whether I go to school. I do not care if they did not even enroll me in school, it won’t make any sense anyways, going and attending. Staying in school and studying has never been my forte anyways.
Well…to be honest, I never had a forte in the first place.
I don’t know anything, I have no skills nor do I have the brains, to be exact, I’m useless, I’m just a mere trash and a goner, an oddity among the rest of the pupils inside our classroom. Unlike me, they at least know something or have skills and have decent grades in their strong subjects.
I, however, don’t have anything at all. I don’t have any strong subjects, my grades are all F and I often fail even my PE and Home Economics classes.
It’s pitiful; I don’t have at least a use for anyone.
I can’t be proud of anything, and I hate it.
It’s more like a slap in my face because it proves just how right my parents and other relatives are about what they are saying about me, and even though I want to deny them, I can’t. I can’t prove anything; I can’t even do the most simplest things. The most likely thing I can do is just become a human punching bag or a trash bin for their annoyance and anger. It’s a rather unlikeable state for anyone, if someone else were in my position; I know that that person who has a proper mind would most likely take action already.
I can’t do that however.
Asking for help from some unknown stranger was never a good option for me, I can’t even trust my family whom I don’t even have a concrete link, what more for a total stranger?
I’d rather die even than to take pity from someone than let them smudge it on my face just so that I would be crawling to their side and be their dogs in order to repay for their kindness. In fact, I hate people who try to be considerate, when in all honesty, their just planning to use it against those people they’ve helped just to get a much bigger prize.
I hate it, that kind of inconsiderate people. I’d rather avoid them as much as possible than to be near them but it seems that some kind of deity must have a grudge on me rather too deeply and here I am, happening to be facing one of them right now, to my own irritation and ill-will.
In this silent cold pristine room, dubbed by staffs and students as a clinic, where I am currently held in a bed near the windowsill due to collapsing from exhaustion from one of our strenuous PE activities. I didn’t really want to black out in the middle of the activity but my body already protested and failed me due to the overloading fatigue present in my body.
I rubbed my temple, trying to free myself from the emerging dull ill comfort of something creeping inside my head. I could hardly distinguish it, not knowing that it was pain, but I tightly closed my eyes and let out a dry rusty groan before I coughed due to the sandy like feel inside my throat.
The feeling in my throat burned, it was scraping and itchy, I tried to swallow but it the feeling of discomfort only grew. From what I’ve remember, before I fainted, my body collapsed to the floor, I could hear noises and voices calling me out, they came closer and closer. It was only momentary until in my own weakened state, I blacked out without a single struggle and by the time I have come to consciousness, it was already school dismissal.
I frowned, grasping the bed sheets and coughed again due to my condition, I did not notice another presence in the room as I busied myself with soothing my throat and before I knew it, I heard clattering sounds of the chair’s legs beside the bed.
“You’re finally awake.” Came a soft enchanting voice beside me. I felt myself jolt a bit hearing the voice; I scoffed to myself as the feeling of irritation welling inside me knowing that I had company.
I turned my head to my side with one teary eye open and stared at the figure blurry figure in front of me with a glare and a pain stricken expression on my face. I used the back of my hand and wiped off the tears in my eyes while out of the corner of my eyes, I watch the figure walk away. I wanted to let out a sigh, but my throat restricted me from doing so. I thought that it would leave me be, but to my own disappointment, I heard footsteps again.
The figure entered my field of vision again and this time, I saw a clear image of the person in front of me. She was exactly at my age, tall and slim, fair skinned with long raven black hair curled down near the ends, one perfect word can only describe her:
Beautiful.
She looked like princess out of a fairytale book, standing there in front of me in a prim and proper way, her small gestures elegant and graceful.
I frowned at myself, shaking my head at in order to disperse the thoughts off my head; I look away from her and slap both sides of my cheek, trying to snap some sense out of myself. It did not help that she was staring at me the whole time though with a twinkle of amusement in her eyes, it was as if she had seen something rare of a sort.
It was disturbing.
She looked fairly familiar to me though.
I furrow my brows and tried to juggle my memories of this familiar face, when it came to me, I felt a scowl form on my face, realizing that this person in front of me was in fact our class president, what was her name again?
Ah, that’s right. Kashiwagi Yuki, the ever popular princess.
Tsk, great… I don’t really feel like dealing with anyone at this moment, nor do I have plans on being acquainted with this popular smart aleck of a president in our class. Everyone’s just the same, their no different, even someone like her.
“What are you doing here?” I questioned her harshly in a small hoarse voice, I ignored the fact that I had asked an obvious question, it did not matter; I just want her out of here and away from me. It did not matter whether the discomfort of my throat doubled on me.
“I’m here to watch over you.” She softly uttered, a giggle escaped from her mouth at the end of the statement while a small smile appeared on her face. She did not seem to get the hint that her presence was rather unwanted due to the fact that she had take a seat beside the bed I am occupying.
“Your kindness is unnecessary…” I mumbled as I struggled to put myself into a sitting position, only that my arms’ strength were failing me and I ended up falling back on the bed. I grunted, taking a quick glance at my arm to find that they were all bandaged up from my hand to my arm.
“Here, let me help you up.” She offered politely, walking towards me with her hands reaching forward. I groaned in frustration, but I doubt that she thought of it that way with the sudden change in her action. It was as if she had interpreted it as a groan of pain that she had gently held me, slowing her pace to let me adjust. It was kind of her to help me, but I somehow doubt about the sincerity of her acts and it left me to frown upon her course of action.
“Why…”
“Why do you care?” I asked her, looking up at her with emotionless eyes.
She stared back at me, her mouth slightly agape with shock written over her face, probably not expecting that kind of question to come out of my mouth. I heard her shift in her seat, the atmosphere around us hung awkwardly almost as if uninvited like this person in front of me.
I don’t really mind this silence between us; it was compelling for me if she did not talk to me. I thought that we would be buried in deep silence, but I heard her release a sigh, speaking once again to break off the awkwardness between us, “Why you say…? Isn’t that what people should do? Take care of one another I mean.”
“That would have been great, if that was the case, but everyone has their motives in helping. What would be yours?” I asked her while gritting my teeth together unconsciously. I let her spoken words sink into my head, feeling bitter and irritated over those words that could never mean anything close to real: People taking care of one another? Those are just flowery words; they could never mean anything. It’s just a load of bullshit.
“Why would I have a motive? I’m here out of my own free will…” She said; her expression changing into a dumbfounded one.
I can’t help but scoff to myself how easily her expressions changes, almost every time, I felt like I was looking through a book when I look at her face. I could easily see exactly what she felt and she doesn’t seem to hold back in expressing herself either.
It must be nice huh…
It’s a freedom, being expressive and all; it’s something that I can only get a glimpse from other people.
It leaves an unbearable sickening feeling in my stomach.
“Huh…should I be grateful if that really is the case? I hate pretense politeness though…” I hissed. She blinked a couple of times, looking at me with a small surprised expression on her face, looking a bit offended at my statement.
“I don’t fake politeness nor concern Matsui-san.”
“Heh… As if liars will tell the truth,” I said in a mocking manner, watching her expression turn into a frown, the smile on her face gone. She stared at me silently, the look of displeasure and irritation evident on her face, seeing it somehow made me happy inside, I know that it was weird and bad, but it gave me a sense of power that I can never attain.
“Why do you doubt my sincerity?”
“Because I don’t trust you, neither do I trust anyone. You’re all the same after all. Whether it be criminals or innocent feigning scums like you guys…I’d rather be alone than to be associated with the likes of all of you.” I told her, laughing bitterly at the end of my statement. I gazed at her, watching closely as her fists clench tightly, her expression darkening quite a bit. I watch her huff to herself in silence, which somehow brought a triumphant smile on my lips.
“Cat got your tongue, Hime-sama?” I mockingly hissed. I looked at her brows twitch, a smug expression on my face. I glared at her pointedly and scoffed, gripping the bed sheets tightly, smiling bitterly before I placed one hand over my eyes as I giggled creepily.
I knew that I had provoked her, and though I don’t like provoking people like my father, I had a clear knowledge that she wouldn’t do anything bad to me. What with her title and pride on the line, it would look bad for her if she did do anything such as harming me physically. Yet even if she didn’t do anything physical to me, she did do something, and that was talking back to me, making me realize at least something out of the pile of emotions that were locked inside my heart.
“That’s kind of sad, don’t you think?” I heard her ask, cutting immediately my thoughts. I looked at her blankly while she averted my gaze; she looked like she was struggling to word out something with the way she seemed to hesitate.
“Aren’t you…lonely?” She whispered as she set her eyes back at my small form. Her words were although too prying for my comfort, was spoken too softly with an air of sadness clinging to each syllable, making me bow my head with downcast eyes as her words struck me hard.
“Of course not…”
“I don’t need anyone. I’m fine alone.”
I tried to contain my emotions as I spoke, not wanting to spill out my irritation and frustration as I bit my bottom lip hard before I forced myself to laugh, denying that awful bitter aftertaste that was left in my mouth as I lied to her. I know I don’t sound any convincing, even I know that I can’t fool myself when I said that I don’t need anyone when that’s what I’ve really wanted from the start, but hearing her ask that question made me afraid and the last thing I ever wanted was for her to learn of my weakness.
I subconsciously swallowed, slowly looking back up as cautiously as possible only to be surprised as my eyes caught her’s as she gave me a gentle look. I stared at her dumbfounded, confused as to why she was giving me such a look. I gritted my teeth and opened my mouth to word out something, anything, even if it was an insult or any of a sort if that’s what it takes to smudge of that look her face.
But I couldn’t, not when she gave me a sad smile and she shook her head, her eyes never leaving mine as she spoke softly;
“You liar.”
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End of Part II
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<<------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------->>
A/N: ...Well, that's that. I don't know if I rushed their meeting, it seems to go well. Anyways, for those who have missed a lot on my past updates, gonna link them down here:
- Chinmoku - Part X-I (BlackGeki) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1071999#msg1071999)
- I'll make it up to you - (TomoTomo) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1075030#msg1075030)
- Segenfreude - Part I (Black-YukiRena) (http://forum.jphip.com/index.php?topic=32167.msg1075754#msg1075754)
Those are the new posts I've made for this month, including this post too of course. For those who have missed these updates, go read them if you want and if you have the time. :) Now with that said, see you guys around the forums, gonna rewatch MG and find some inspiration that I can use to continue on writing Chinmoku Part X-II. :lol: Bye!
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Poor Rena T_T
Yuki please save her!!!
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YukiRena Mayuki BlackGeki are so interesting :glasses:
well I like YukiRena more than BlackGeki :wriggly:
but I like all your fic you're a good writer :on GJ: :on asmo:
I just finished reading them all :whistle:
I'm waiting for you to finish all this fics okey! :onioncheer:
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Hi hi, Sieka here! Right now I'm here to close down the polls. I know that I did say before that I would close down the polls after Chinmoku's ending, but then again, I think this much votes have already proven me enough of what I want. This time around, I'll be setting up another poll again for you guys to vote on, hopefully I get an immediate answer because I need some help to decide on this matter, I really need your view on this, so if its not much of a hassle, please spare this bad little author some time to and vote for this poll.
Anyways, this is the previous polls result, thank you for everyone who voted and took there time to vote, it really made me happy that a lot of you guys have given me their votes. I'll try to see some of this through. :)
RESULTS:
What do you want me to write after Chinmoku? (You can comment if you'd like.)
Chinmoku Special - (The Jealous Queen) 36 (31.9%) *
New story, much more complex and devianting - (Kinjirareta Ai) [TL:Forbidden Love] 27 (23.9%)
Update the other fics - (Our Past Together, Inequality, Stay by my side) 31 (27.4%)
Shots 19 (16.8%)
Total Members Voted: 84
Hmm, looks like Chinmoku Special is the highest in rating, followed up by updating for the other fics...I see, so I guess I really should focus more on that special shot and my other fics, mainly those three before going new fic/s. I'm surprised though at how many people voted, I'm not really expecting 84 people to vote...I was actually thinking that only about 15+ would vote, so its a total surprise when I saw how much people voted, I'm really happy.
As for the new poll, let's just say I'm having double doubts with this and that, I mean I've been told before that I should try doing smut...but I've never had the confidence, I did say I'll get back to those two bad teasers who caused my untimely death in BuraGeki no Ichinichi a long long month ago but you know, I still haven't, and its really bad, anyways, why do I need your votes? It'll serve as my inspiration and possible discouragement in doing this, but I won't take it badly you know, I just want some kind of response, any of the sort is fine.
I'd really appreciate it if you guys do vote. You can also comment if you'd like, that solely depends upon you of course.
Anyways, replies to kahem-san and mo-chan. (Sorry...my eyes didn't catch it at my first post of this... lllorz)
@kahem - Hahaha, I'm sure Yuki will save her....later. :P
@mo-chan - Really? I actually......wait, I like both YukiRena and BlackGeki....hahaha. But I'm pleasantly surprised you like YukiRena more than BlackGeki. :lol: Ah, thank you for the kind complements. I'll try to finish all of them with all that I can, hopefully I do. :sweatdrop:
Anyways, thank you again for the previous poll!
Thank you for the thanks and comments!
See you guys around. :)
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Yes!
Just do it! Sieka-san!
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*still has to comment on other two updates, but is at work as of now*
10000000000000000% YES, SIEKA-SAMA!
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Sieka-san do your best! :onioncheer:
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no one would says "no!" for your every amazing works, sieka-san! please do your best and take a good rest and dont frustrate hehehe (saw it on your skype) ganbatte!!! :deco:
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just read the chinmoku..
#speechless
You're a TENSAI! :bow:
at first.. i thought.. this chapter is the end. :mon geek:
Rena will kill Yuki and suicide; and they will die happily ever after. :mon angel:
but after reading this chapter.. the ending is still vague.. :3 i can expect another twist in the ending. or in the part two. :3
i'm so excited!! XD
will Rena win over Gekikara? or will Gekikara kill Yuki and Rena will has a mental breakdown.. fufufu
update! LOL
I already knew you have update chinmoku from ages.. but i haven't read it.. until now. LOL
sorry~ been so busy~ and too much spazzing over Stella (JKT48)
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Uwah, I'm surprised...the poll is doing well right now, and I just posted it up yesterday and it already has 48 votes. I'm really surprised at how many voted...but then, maybe I really shouldn't be since I did asked something that's surely to be voted. :lol: It seems I just sealed my fate though with 47 people voting for a Yes. Ara, how inspiring that a lot of people want me to write smut, I'll have to work hard and not to disappoint. Don't worry though, I'll try not to. I'll use all the knowledge I have stored and accumulated inside my head to make a worthy smut fic through the use of the different types of articles of writing and doujinshis that I have read this past weeks. :) Hopefully the result would be very rewarding though, and I'll come up with a good plot to reel you into it...maybe also the scene itself. It did somehow come out as another surprise that 1 person voted for a no. Hmm, I mean while I was a bit expecting for the Yeses, I did not expect the No, so hmm....I wonder who voted for this no.
Anyways...replies to those people who eagerly commented on the poll. :lol: :lol: :lol:
Replies:
@kurogumi - Just do it? Okay okay, I am gonna do it...the Yes is completely winning and I doubt the No will have any chance to overtake it. :lol:
@sakura_drop_ - Overly eager aren't we? :lol:
@mo-chan - Good luck to me...hahaha, I'll be running suicides after writing something like this. Maybe I'll faint later on due to being flustered and embarrassed. lllorz
@LeNosferatu - Lol, there's a contradiction to your statement. Someone just said no. Hahaha, that frustration was just born out of some other things that are left to be unspoken, it isn't anything relatively stressing, don't worry, but thank you. :) I'll work hard to get back at you and anzai-san, don't worry, I'm already working my way to it. :lol:
Erm also... *shuffles and looks away from your avatar in uneasiness* :sweatdrop:
@bochang - Don't praise me, you're making me flustered. :lol:
I'm no genius though! Ehh, lol, sorry to disappoint your deduction, I'm not just ending Chinmoku with that, hahaha, I could always do, but I'd want to fully...hmm...make it more how to say it...much more painful? I mean if I just kill Black, it would not be any fun, same goes for Gekikara. I have this certain standard before anything like that happens...so...it might come later on though, who knows. :P
Ah, the poll isn't closed yet so you can keep voting if you want. :)
Clearly, I have no updates or one-shots to post, they are all still in the process of being written just like Chinmoku, so until next time.
See you guys around later, gonna write some of them before I end this night. :)
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Segenfreude
Wow what a start!!!
What quite is Yuki, who know but it seems that 'angel of vengance' seems to fit, well that or demon.... almost as if in a way Yuki has taken Rena's Geki character here so far in this story, Seems as though Rena is already seeing past what she saw Black do, almost comforted but Yuki after she saved her so brutally, though perhpas Black has also shown us a rae side of herself through Rena already as well. Looking forward to more!
Our Past Together
Hmm Yuki's/Rena's relationship here is so interesting, Rena wanting to be alone and not wanting anyone in her life and seeing Yuki as what could be the epitomy of what shewants to be away from, but Yuki herself, through claims of being flase from Rena, seems almost determinded to want to help Rena, love perhpas? Or maybe because Yuki seems something in Rena she sees in herself, or maybe a past of hers that Rena is going through now?
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A/N: Sieka here, no update yet, just another preview for Chinmoku Part X-II! I'm still...far from 50% right now, but I'm doing my best little by little to write the whole chapter, hopefully by the end of my 4-day vacation, I'll be able to finish and update this part for Chinmoku before I go back to my school life...hahaha, and also, I hope to finish my art plates and carving project. Anyways, before the preview, gonna reply to anzai-san and oddball-san. :)
Replies:
@anzai48 - Hahaha, please anzai-san, don't act innocently, it doesn't suit your image. :P 8) :lol: And I know you know what I'm talking about you teaser! :lol:
Bloody and painful? Let's see what I can do about that anzai-san. I still have a few things in mind I'd like to add~ :cathappy:
You do? Wow, should I be flattered that you miss it? Mah, I'll try drawing a BlackGeki scene from Chinmoku when I have the time tomorrow since its been a while since I drew something that was related to Chinmoku. :lol: For now just make do with this picture okay? It still counts as BlackGeki with a bit of blood. XD
- BlackGeki (http://i.imgur.com/uxAql.jpg)
@oddball - Segenfreude: True, Yuki somehow did took Rena's Gekikara role, but she's much more tamed and controlled than Gekikara, that's for sure, I still don't want to classify Yuki here in this fic, I'd just like her to remain an oddity for now. Ohh, you might be right about that, but then, you might be wrong about Black-Yuki showing a side of herself, Yuki is still somehow playing vague here, even in my own mind. :lol:
Our Past Together: Partly, you are right, Rena wants to be alone and left isolated away from people, but mainly because of her anger over her own situation, but you are wrong on one thing. Yuki is the epitome of what Rena wants in her life, a carefree, perfect and happy life that she thinks Yuki is leading, but Rena knows that it's something that she can't have. She's jealous of Yuki here, just that, she doesn't want to show it. Yuki's side though, love? Maybe? Or maybe Rena is right about her giving her false comfort and care...who knows what exactly is Yuki's ulterior motive in this, since I already gave away two reasons in Chinmoku Part VI and IX, to pull Rena from her miserable state, and make her smile, but I'm planning for another motive, maybe a deeper reason, and whatever it is, it'll be the one main thing that will push Yuki to follow Rena... :lol: You sure do have some interesting deductions as to why though. You really impress me so much oddball-san! As expected from my favorite reader. :lol:
Ah, yes, I forgot. Yuki and Rena's relationship is interesting indeed.Their relationship is just starting to form here, likely I like how two people clash together with one persevering and one rejecting, it makes it feel like their both playing a game of cat and mouse, no? 8)
Anyways, thanks for the comments from you two!
Here's the preview for Chinmoku Part X-II!
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Chinmoku
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Part X-II: Preview
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This was like a dream of what once started normally, turned bitterly into a nightmare that never seemed to have a fitting end, in fact, it never seemed to have an end at all, well, for the suffering from torment and desperation became partly the reason, but most likely it was because of guilt and fear that kept everything from reaching any conclusion. Yet, for this to happen, it was somehow too good to be true; it was like a miracle, which she could hardly grasp, but she wanted to believe, she wanted to grasp on that fact that Gekikara had called her.
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End of Preview
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Well, that's all, see you guys around, gotta go back and write Chinmoku and some of my shots. :lol:
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I WANT Chinmoku :pleeease:
It's an amazing fanfiction!
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:shocked :drool: 3 updates?
TomoTomo fic...Chiyuu just missed her A LOT!
But Tomochin will make it up so it's fine XD
Segenfreude:
:shocked At first I tough no no no please don't let it happen to Rena :cry: but then came the mysterious woman (with super human strength? not human anyway) and kicked their ass. The beautiful scenery with the "mysterious" woman with Rena in her arms on top of the skyscape :w00t: WOOW I mean really WOOOOOOOOW!
Out Past Together
:yep: :thumbsup The class president must have seen herself in Rena that's why she wanted to help.
And the Chinmoku teaser...(such a tease there Sieka-san) I finally have a little hope that this fic will not break my heart XD
:kneelbow:
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Hello, I love your Fics...I'm a Total Fan of Chinmoku hehehe
I hope to read the new chapter soon...soooo Bye, Take care and keep the hard work (^o^)/
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Hi guys, as of this moment...Chinmoku is half done, yes, half done, just another half left and its done, but the problem is, my mood was a bit spoiled because of the recent news about the team shuffle. Don't worry, I'll finish Chinmoku no matter what happens, just give me a few hours off to relax and reorganize my thoughts and I'll be back up and write the update. :'<
I'll also post some of the one-shots I have once I finish them, so don't worry, and I'm not gonna quit writing just because of this team shuffle, even though its a big bummer...
So let's see...the progress right now is this:
Chinmoku - Part X-II = 50%
One-shots = Between 30% to 50% (Most of them)
Ah anyways, the team shuffle, right, it was a total shock, man, I can't shallow and process it down, the old team was okay, but I don't know about this now...frankly a lot of members are switched and some are going to another sister group. Seeing Sae, Harugon, and Akicha are to be placed in another sister group outside of Japan kinda makes me feel sad. Mayu being on Team A made me cry for Yuki, I mean, sure its alright for the switch, but I can't stomach it that Mayu is on Team A, leaving Yuki in Team B and what with her getting demoted from her captain position, it's true that she doesn't act like a captain, but....still...I really cried when I saw Yuki crying because of the announcement. I like MaYuki but I don't ship them as intensely, still, to break them up? That's too much, so evil...breaking up the mother-daughter tandem is just...wtf? I'm clearly shocked but I also saw it coming, since Mayu got the Top #2 position...still, I can't help but feel bad for this...even though Mayu will benefit from being in Team A, I think...I don't really know...my emotions are mixed up!! TT__TT I also feel bad for Sayaka getting demoted, she has the leader quality in her, though it was good that Yuko is appointed as captain, still, Team K's captain will always be Sayaka for me. I kind of feel bad for the SaeYaka pair though, they are such great friends...uuu.... TTnTT
It's just so evil, dang.....Yuki and Sayaka got demoted, Mayu being placed in Team A, Sae, Harugon, Rabutan and Akicha in another sister group...some good notes though on the shuffle with Takamina as the GM, Mariko as Team A's captain...and yeah...I don't know what to say about Anna being in Team B though....I'm neutral on her, though they could have chosen a better SKE member to be placed in Team B since right now...Team B is very unstable for me. Team A and K will somehow pull through, just that...Team B...I don't know, even with Kojiharu and Miichan there...there's still something lacking in Team B, I don't think its a good option for them to be there either, and frankly, the lacking is bigger now since Mayu isn't there anymore. u__u
Also! Acchan's graduation is really near and so many surprises have happened, I can't stomach another surprise, I hope no more surprises happen, though I think SKE might also have a shuffle...I hope it isn't that major because that will break my heart again. I also don't want more members to graduate since some are already going to...on October...aww, my heart, I can't take it, Acchan's graduation is already too painful, anymore of this and my positive outlook will be sucked off...no more please, school is already stressing and finals are near for me, no more...
I wanna hug Yuki, seeing her cry because of that announcement really broke my heart...I really cried because of it, had to go to the kitchen and cry a bit, or else I'd embarrass myself in front of my mom and that is totally uncool because she'd ask me why I cried.... lllorz
I know that the girls will recover quickly from the major shuffle, well that's great...just hope it won't have any bad effects..
Anyways, I won't leave any replies, I can't.....reply back since I'm not enthusiasm at this moment, I'm still having a hard time with the team shuffle...guess you can say stress from school and finals plus this made it much more hard for me to stomach?
Sorry, but thank you for the comments and thank yous, I'll give you guys some proper replies to those who left some, some other time of course when I have my optimism back. :')
(Edit: Ah, sorry sorry, I saw some mistake...corrected something from it, sorry...)
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*pukpuk
I haven't been dropped by for a long long time. XD
day 1: grand shuffle
day 2: takamina solo
day 3: ???
more to come, more to expect. :3
don't cry sieka. :3
maybe AKi-P will move Rena to team B. #notgonnahappen
himnae. :3
even me, who lives in Jakarta and support JKT48, shocked about that news.. Akicha and Harusan?!
UG center, and member of W7? This is madness..
but oh well, that's their decision, and i'm gonna support them. :3
for MaYuki.. I think Aki-P want to push Mayuyu to take Acchan's vacant position..
and for the captain..
I wonder why..
Akigori really did a great job in K i wonder why he choose Yuko..
and idk about Yuki leadership, but i think it's okay, Aki-P didn't have to change the captain, well except for Team A, since Minami become a GM (a staff position? LOL)
well, that's my opinion, and cheer up Sieka, you haven't watch Gingham Check right? Yukirin's scene.. XD
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thanx for be so brave... and finished :D we need to support akb for now more that ever..
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thanks for all the updates sieka-san!
ive been gone for a while....too busy D:
waiting for your next update :D
in regards to the shuffle...somehow it didnt hit me as hard as everybody else
i was a bit shocked at the captain changes though but i guess its inevitable that akb will be changing quite a bit from now on..
wells times running out and i gotta run ...KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK SIEKA-SAN! AND HOPE YOUR MOOD ON THIS WILL BE BETTER :)
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A/N: A month and a few weeks has passed and I have yet to make an update. I'm very sorry, I was caught up with the second term of my first year in my college life, that and I was trying to cop up with the animes, mangas and games that have been piling in my computer. I'll try to write a bit as much as possible, and the progress for Chinmoku is still at 50% and so is with the shots. I have not made any progress and its really saddening. Hahaha....I'm kind of exhausted right now since I have yet to get used to the sudden change of schedule for this term. Ahh....I'll really get back to you guys after I have adjusted, for now, I leave you my utmost regrets...if ever someone is still there and waiting for Chinmoku and the other stories that is. :lol:
Anyways, I'm gonna drop a prologue for another story to add to the pile of many stories I have. Sorry, my mind just needed some kind of way to dump some negative thoughts, so yeah, this was my outlet. Don't mind me, I just write what I please at times of need. :lol:
Ah right, before the prologue, comments first.
Replies:
@turratar - Thank you. :)
@Megumi - Three updates, equaling to a month break, a big backfire to me...aahaha. XD Ahh, you know what, I actually wanted it to happen to Rena in Segefreude, but then, the thought of being killed and hunted by the Rena fans is scaring me, and Rena is too pure for it. :lol: My conscience cannot handle it. :sweatdrop:
Iinchou seeing something in Rena about herself? Hmm...maybe maybe.
I'm sorry for being a tease? And, keep the faith alive and keeping hoping that Chinmoku would have a happy end? :lol:
@Nyx - Thank you. :)
@bochang - And I as well haven't dropped in a long time here in the forums. :sweatdrop:
You can't expect me not to cry oppa. It really was heartbreaking. : \
And that really isn't gonna happen, not in the future. Not ever. XD
Mhmm, hopefully Akicha and Harugon would do fine in JKT. I mean, JKT itself is still underdevelopment, so hopefully, they would get something good out of that transfer and not fade away because of it.
I think so too....I mean, Mayu is in Team A, most likely, taking Acchan's vacant position, she may as well be the new Ace, depending on Aki-P's taste, but mah...
True, Sayaka was a good leader, not so much from Yuki, but she's an okay leader. Though it makes me wonder why he suddenly did a leader change, why and what could be the reasons behind that....?
Ugh...I watched it, and I...was really disheartened, kind of, I guess....I mean, yeah, LeNosferatu-san showed me a gif of Yuki's scene, so...huh...I cried because, it made me question what Aki-P what's to do out of all these, geez, and that grand shuffle was still in my mind when I saw that Yuki scene....ugh. llllorz
@Haruko - Thanks. :)
@Pandah - I know what you mean, I'm also busy to be around...ugh...I'm missing a lot on all the good fics and stuff. : \
I see, I guess you are used to the shuffle change, that captain/leader change was somehow bad for me though, I mean, its hard not to see Sayaka and Yuki as the captains, and now that they got demoted.... *sigh* I dunno really...I just can't think of any other captain other than them.
And that ends my replies, thank you to everyone who commented, gave me their thanks and viewed this thread while I was away for like a month and a few weeks. I'm not gonna update any soon since I'm a bit busy this week, so I'll just make do with a new prologue for a new story...again, why do I keep making new stories when I haven't finished one story? Ugh....this really will be the death of me.
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MOVED PROLOGUE TO A NEW THREAD.
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A/N: That's....the prologue. I'm probably reveal the characters later on...and I think everyone can guess just what exactly am I trying to pull on here. Anyways, see you guys around.
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Uwaaa another new fic? :panic:
I'm sorry for being a tease? And, keep the faith alive and keeping hoping that Chinmoku would have a happy end?
I'm praying XD
So it's 50% finished? I wonder so it will take another months or so to finish it? :rofl:
No just kidding but I will be here waiting patiently on your update "Sieka-san"
:kneelbow:
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Wooow.... amazing prologue... But, somehow I feel sad when I read it... :cry:
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So, hi, hello, it's been too long since I've been around the forums. :sweatdrop: I've been absent for so long that I've missed so much updates. I guess being away from the forums for too long also made me momentarily forget I even wrote fictions...I'm not gonna lie of course, I was busy with college and projects, but I'm also guilty for also being busy with playing with my PSP, so now I'm gonna balance my time and write again, hopefully, I can juggle it. :sweatdrop:
Anyways, no updates, just a preview for Chinmoku X-II, but before that, gonna reply.
Replies:
@Megumi - Yeah...again. It's just my brain working weirdly.
Heh, you know me so well, it takes a month or two to finish a chapter for Chinmoku. It's really mind taxing to write, with all that damned vocabulary I need to place and all the descriptions I have to write, it kind of kills that it takes out 90% of my energy afterwards if I were to write it for a whole day. XD
@stv_wong - Thanks. Hahaha...It's supposed to make you feel sad. :)
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Chinmoku
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Part X-II: 2nd Preview
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“Yuki…” Gekikara called Black, her voice small and weak, but filled with worry and sadness; her voice lost its luster and confidence that was once presently there, mocking the former queen moments ago mockingly and maliciously. That, and the feeling of exhaustion made Gekikara feel weak and small, a feeling that only comes in rare occasions, and just looking at the older raven lying there on the small puddle of blood that came from the wound on her shoulder, added more weight on the exhaustion she felt that was already hugely present, but nothing could ever compare to the weight of guilt she is carrying in her heart.
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End of Preview
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Anyways, that's about it, I'm not giving that much away anyways, so adios. I'll post the chapter once I finish it. I just need to write half of the update, like really, just half of it and its done. -__-llll
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Ahhhh! Please update soon!!!!
Please don't kill black! Geki needs her! :cry:
And Anzai please dont kill geki! :cry:
I love them both sooooo much so please don't kill them! :panic:
I don't want to see my two favorite rappapa members die!
Please don't kill them!!!
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Sieka-sama!!! How could I do this to you... :gyaaah: :gyaaah: :gyaaah:
And I call myself your No.1 fan!!! :on cloudeye: :on cloudeye: :on cloudeye:
Not commenting on your fic for such a long time... Shame on you, sakura_drop_!!! :on beatup :on beatup :on beatup
But really.... I'm really sorry!!! :kneelbow: :kneelbow: :kneelbow: :kneelbow: :kneelbow: :kneelbow:
I'll be sure to post a proper comment, after I update my other stories, which I plan to update this week... :temper: :temper: :temper:
I'm sorry again for being No.1 fan, and still not spreading my love here!!! :err: :err: :err:
*rushes to write a love letter* :on speedy: :on speedy: :on speedy:
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:smhid why you torturing me like this :bleed eyes:
:kneelbow:
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A/N: Long time no post, hahaha, I just finished a few of my midterm tests and I still have two more this week, hopefully I will pass with flying colors because I'm really worried about my midterms, seems like some of them are hard and I have two majors, it really makes me nervous. I'm still writing my updates for Chinmoku and reorganizing them because the last time I left it, it was awfully messy and I am not satisfied with it so bear with me. :sweatdrop:
Anyways, I just finished watching MG3 yesterday and I must say, I've become really interested in the AnniNaga paring more than MessiYagi, ParuPeace or NanteNashi. Frankly, MessiYagi is good, but I feel that they lack that tension you know, AnniNaga just has all that tension and I liked the way they gaze at each other, especially how Annin gazes at Nobunaga and how hung over she is over that unfinished fight they had before. It's like she's so stuck in love with Nobunaga that she makes fighting as an excuse to be near her. Hahaha, me and my insatiable mind. :lol: And you might think I'm trailing off, but I'm not, I fear that AnniNaga is on my second fav next to BlackGeki, hahaha, I just hope it doesn't overthrow BlackGeki.......kidding, of course it won't. BlackGeki has a big hold on me no matter what, and I guess its pretty obvious whenever I watch a scene with Black and Gekikara together, I still end up squealing like a high school lovestruck kid. :lol: I'm trying to be conscious of AnniNaga though because it easily became my favorite and I really like them together. :lol:
And I'm babbling, anyways, before the shot, let's go with a few replies and we're settled. :)
Replies:
@anzai48 - Even if I kill Yuki, it won't do anything to me. Even if you kill Geki in your fic, it still won't do anything to me. 8) Go ahead and try anyways anzai-san. Threatening me won't work. XD
@miyumi - Hahaha! Kill kill kill! :lol: Kill Geki, kill Black, lolmao. :lol: Sorry, sorry, that's just me, the plot however....let's see how it goes. :lol:
@sakura_drop_ - ....Uhh....you don't really need to write a love letter sakura-san.... :sweatdrop:
@Megumi - I'm sorry? XD
And that's it, so here's the shot, hope you guys enjoy reading! :)
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Unspoken
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One-shot
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Warm and bright, that was how the sun shined brightly that day. It was rather pleasant even as the light breeze blew softly, countering the warmth of the sun’s rays whenever it went too much to handle, but so could be said to the sun’s warmth. The two of them balanced each other.
It was an unspoken combination. Hot and cold, when combined evenly, they present a balanced temperature, neither too hot nor too cold, just the right amount.
They were like that; some of the other prisons also have the same opinion.
They were categorized in a way that made them opposite to one another; she is cold, stern and harsh while the other girl is mysterious yet playful in her ways, but they were both the similar too, they would do anything to protect their teams. No matter the cost, even if it meant for them to shoulder the pain and burden all the same.
They never spoke of that, rather, they never concerned themselves with wanting to know each other.
It did not matter anyways.
Enemies are enemies.
Trying to befriend your enemy would be the most outrageous thing out of all the outrageousness listed in the present, apart from that; they never concerned themselves with each other. They simply ignore each other’s presence unless they had to fight, but other than that, there wasn’t anything else left.
Other prisoners might find it as a silent truce from both of them due to their lack of acknowledgement in each other’s presence, but to them it was just a simple moment, or moments, where they were lost for words, unable to speak to each other.
The Mongoose leader seem to have already known of it and acknowledged that she lacks in the social department as it has always been from the start. So instead, she would just look at the Habu leader for a few seconds and walk back forward whenever she crosses paths with the aforementioned short haired raven; most of the time, the Mongoose leader would shrug her shoulders casually as she passed the taller girl without making so much as a whisper.
It did somehow feel frustrating though, especially when Nobunaga found the other leader’s silence to be unbearable.
She would have guessed that the Mongoose leader had some kind of secret hatred for her due to her lack of response and recognition, especially when she tries to settle for a short chat with Annin, only to have the other girl leave her without as much a response to her question or even her attention.
Nobunaga hated it, her lack of response, but she can’t complain either. At least her members weren’t fighting with the Mongoose leader’s own ones. But it didn’t feel reassuring of a reason, really; it just made her groan in frustration, because Annin’s silence irritates her.
It always has, but she tried not to display it by being playful, but always pretending and acting was just making her feel sick already.
It was too tiring to act when all she wanted was to let her frustration run rampant.
Running a hand on her short hair, she sighed, staring up to look at the clouds lazily floating in a sea of blue horizon.
No matter how good the weather is today, it certainly did nothing to dispense the increasing feeling of frustration in her head, but begrudgingly enough, she’d rather not act than to start a fuss with the Mongoose leader. It would be bad for her reputation too if she went loose, she still had to rest and let her wounds heal after all.
It was not that worse, but certainly she wouldn’t as foolishly as to go and pick up a fight with the Mongoose leader without knowing the consequence of going there hurt and still wounded. It sucks though that she had to do nothing but lie down, she was not even permitted by her fellow members to work out, telling her that she needed her rest after their previous battle with another prison group.
Nobunaga would have scoffed and argued back at them, but seeing all of them work together to keep her down, she had no choice but to do as they wished and rest. And now here she was, outside the prison building in an unfamiliar terrain, getting fresh air and light, hoping that it would ease her boredom and apparent frustration.
Sadly however, it didn’t.
It just made her feel even more irritated.
“…Is there anything out there that can quench my boredom?” Nobunaga sighed, staring blankly at a tree bark, eyeing the lines on its rough and hard exterior.
She waited, hoping something would come out of nowhere and surprise her. Nothing came however but silence, silence that she would often associate to the Mongoose leader and the simple thought of her throws her back to her past spiral of irritation.
The Habu leader placed her hands down on both of her sides, clenching the dried leaves on the ground, crushing them as hard and fine as she could, feeling the bits of the leaves stick to her palm, the feeling itself entirely unpleasant.
Grumbling in displeasure, Nobunaga pushed herself off the ground and patted her pants then afterwards her hands before she placed them both on her waist, frowning.
“Really…”
“This prison is really boring…” The Habu leader whined to her own, closing her eyes tightly together as she scratched her head in frustration, talking idle steps as she made her way to leave this silent haven, hoping to get back to the right path following back to the prison building. Half-hoping that on her way and possibly at their headquarters, something fun would appear for her to enjoy.
But luck didn’t appear to be on Nobunaga’s side, because after a few minutes of walking, she still found herself in the same place, or what looked to be like it.
She tried to go to different directions, hoping that she would get out, but she didn’t. It was like she was walking in just one place, in once space without an exit; it was just like this prison itself, doesn’t have one, nor does it even have the option to even hold one.
This prison was like a cage and that of to a maze to keep them all locked in one place, forever to keep on walking, lying to themselves of hopes and wishes of being free; a wish that would never be fulfilled. Nobunaga knew just that much, because she knew why this prison existed, but she never had the heart to tell the others, knowing the dangers that it would put them and how they would lose hope instantly.
“I wouldn’t want them to lose hope…” She whispered melancholy, hands clenched into fists as she gave out a faraway look at the sky, envious of how vast it was and how free the clouds were. Unlike her, like everyone else, they were bound into this soiled place without any means to get out without having to pick a choice of living a pathetic life as a cleaner or as a part of the living dead.
The Habu leader raised her arm at an eye level as she inspected the red gleaming bracelet on her wrist with a displeased look before she let her arm drop back to her side, whispering ever so gently and sadly as she contemplated this fact, “We’re all locked up and chained here no matter how freely we can walk about…it doesn’t change anything at all…”
“We’re still prisoners…being held up by invisible chains no matter what…”
“–––––So, are you saying you’re going to give up then?” An unfamiliar voice whispered, asking in a stern tone that made Nobunaga stiffen, not knowing how to react to the unexpected company she had as it surprised the short haired raven from her own reverie.
Swiftly, Nobunaga turned her head slightly, peering over her shoulder to look at the intruder, her guard upfront defensively, only for her to once again stiffen in yet another surprise when her eyes met resolute amber orbs that stared back into her own puzzled mismatched ones.
When exactly did she come? Why was she here even? And how come Nobunaga never heard her steps? Nobunaga would have known right away and sense anyone’s presence, yet here, in the flesh, the Mongoose leader proved her how much her own senses has its own flaws.
And this was considered a first.
Unable to hide her shock, Nobunaga’s mouth gapped, opening and closing as if she had seen a ghost, and much to the other girl’s amusement, she merely responded by raising a brow, talking again without bothering to wait for the short haired raven to talk.
“What are you doing here anyways?” Annin asked, looking away to scan her surrounding with no such interest. Her hand idly swinging back and forth at her side as she walked towards the stunned Habu leader, making small crunching sounds that came from the leaves under her feet. A few meters near the stunned Habu leader, she stops and bends down to pick up a short twig, twirling it as if it was the most interesting thing around.
“Aren’t you going to say something?” Annin sighed, casting a stern gaze at the short haired leader, and immediately, as if casted off, Nobunaga snapped out from her stupid stupor at the sound crunching leaves.
The Habu leader turned her head, looking away as tried to hide her awe and the fact that she was marvelling at how nice and pleasant the other girl’s voice sounded to her ears. Nobunaga internally scoffed at herself for simply thinking of something like that about her.
Uneasy of where her thought might lead her, the short haired raven reorganized herself with a small polite cough, hoping to distract herself away from delving too much into her thoughts.
“I did not intend to come here. I just got lost track.”
“And also, I’m not giving up…I can’t give up because it’s not an option.” Nobunaga said in a low hushed tone which came out rather solemnly than what she had wanted or intended.
Annin raised a brow at hearing her response, but instead of asking further and pry for more out of the Habu leader, she just kept her mouth shut and eyed the dead twig in her palm, as if calculating and weighing something in her mind like she had always done.
The short haired raven glanced back at her suddenly silent companion, watching her, giving her an inquiring gaze that Annin’s eyes gazed back, looking quite curiously at the sudden smile that formed on the Habu leader’s face and it somehow struck something inside her when Nobunaga’s smile turned into a grin.
Annin let a frown form on her face willingly, slightly feeling disarmed at the smile Nobunaga was giving her. It ticks her off, seeing the short haired girl’s expression; it was like it was coursing her to voice out her thoughts.
And without fail, she did; all too willingly.
“What is it?” She asked; her voice strict as what her expression lets out, but no matter how harsh the Mongoose leader’s tone was or how menacing a face she puts up, Nobunaga kept her smile intact, as if finding amusement in it.
“Nothing serious…though I didn’t think you could speak. I thought you couldn’t.” Nobunaga chuckled, her words meant to be a joke as it was emitting an air of playfulness just when she pointed an accusing finger at the long haired raven. Annin did not take her gesture kindly however; instead, it somehow offended Annin, having a finger pointed at her.
“You…” Annin sighed, closing her eyes tightly in disbelief; the urge to hit Nobunaga seemed to be weighing a lot now and she was just as tempted as to give Nobunaga a good clean hit in the face.
It was a good thing though that the Habu leader immediately felt the other girl’s irritation and simply excused herself the best that she could, knowing that the least she wanted right now was to offend the girl, especially since she had finally had the Mongoose leader talking like she wanted the most to happen.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not trying to pick a fight. I just thought of that because you never once spoke back to me.” Nobunaga chuckled nervously, while she quickly placed her hands in front of her chest and waved it frantically, almost defensively, hoping that her little speech would cool off the long haired raven.
Yet she was wrong.
“Are you joking me?”
Her statement was met with a cold harsh glare, along with a bark and a scowl on the Mongoose leader’s face that made Nobunaga let out a sigh of her own.
“Okay, I’m serious, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything bad. It just took me by surprise to hear you speak… You never did seem to talk back to me whenever I try to talk to you.”
“It was kind of frustrating you know…those times when you wouldn’t talk back.” Nobunaga admitted truthfully while she scratched the back of her head, ruffling her short raven tresses as she looked at anything and everything but Annin, knowing that if she gazed at the Mongoose leader, she would not probably be able to look away from the other girl’s penetrating gaze that seemed to have intensified.
“Would you rather that I spoke with you even though we’re both enemies?” Annin whispered, more like of a statement than that of a question that Nobunaga misinterpreted as a simple question.
“Of course I would. Even though we’re from different groups, that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t talk to each other.” Nobunaga chimed energetically, wanting to course the other girl into agreeing with her sentiments.
It did not really bother her one bit if they were enemies because it does not bring any harm to talk to your enemy and have a friendly chat. In the first place, she never did thought of anyone as an enemy, she simply just liked to fight and she would fight anyone who wanted to fight her. That also meant that she also wanted peace too and friendship to blossom in the prison.
It was the only thing in the prison that would keep the hope to shine brightly.
Sadly though, Annin did not have the same sentiment as her.
“That doesn’t make any sense…” Annin hissed, scoffing at Nobunaga in displeasure, much to the short haired girls own chagrin. Unperturbed at the gaze that Nobunaga was sending her, she threw the twig past her shoulder and eyed Nobunaga back dangerously, a bit too threateningly; “What you want doesn’t make sense even.”
“Why do you say so?” The Habu leader asked, challenging the other girl yet saddened by the other girl’s refusal. It would have been good if she had agreed, but then who was she to know, she never did come so close to Annin without fighting as their purpose.
She should have expected her refusal. But that doesn’t mean she couldn’t be disappointed either.
“Because that isn’t an option for us to have on just as giving up.” The other girl responded coolly as if it was the most obvious thing ever while rolling her eyes in the process, her voice coming out sweet and short but sensible and knowing, and Nobunaga was too aware that the Mongoose leader was right because it was irritating.
It made her frustrated because she was just too damn right.
“I see, then, I guess you’re also going to tell me that being seen together is bad?”
“It is.” Annin mumbled, almost too softly, but she heard it, Nobunaga heard her and felt even more disappointed, but she kept it in, simply hiding her displeasure by giving a small smile and shrugging her shoulders as she tried to cover up the possible hurt in her own features.
“It can’t be helped I guess if you see it bothersome––––“
“–––I don’t hate it though.” Annin said, cutting off Nobunaga rudely. Yet Nobunaga made no retort to scold the other girl, not when she had heard something outrageous.
“…Serious…ly?” Nobunaga gapped in surprise, her eyes blinking a couple of times.
“Do you think I can afford to lie?” The Mongoose leader shook her head while giving Nobunaga her usual stern gaze, crossing her arms over her chest as she proved her point by looking seriously at the dumbfounded Habu leader.
“No…” Nobunaga mumbled, “But it doesn’t mean you’ll be talking to me that much either huh?”
“Maybe…”
The Mongoose leader look away, her eyes gazing off into a distance, watching dried leaves fly down softly and gently to the ground. Breathing in a soft sigh as the spring breeze blew past the two leaders, fluttering their hair as it waved and flew under the cool breeze.
“It’s better to leave some things unspoken after all…” Annin trailed off, before she bowed her head, as if lost in thoughts for a moment, weighing the pros and cons of what she had uttered, but then she looked back up, eyes unreadable to Nobunaga as she watched the Mongoose leader look at her and express something different for the first time, a smile, small yet tender on her peaceful features before she looked back and simply stared, enjoying the view.
“I guess you’re right.” Nobunaga murmured, feeling a grin slowly coming its way back to her lips.
Slowly, the Habu leader turned away from her companion and stared off to the same direction as Annin gazed at, and finding comfort in the other girl’s words, she resolved not to talk back any further and just simply enjoy a bit of this time with the Mongoose leader.
Maybe someday when the time comes, she’ll have a chat with her again, but without the restrains of the prison rules and their leadership position chaining them apart.
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End
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A/N: And that's about it...I wonder how you guys think...forgive me for any mistakes or the characterization, I still lack that grasp on both Nobunaga and Annin, but anyways, thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed, see you guys next time! Ciao! :cathappy:
[EDIT: Added and corrected a few errors I saw.]
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:panic: Sieka-san!NobuAnnin! When did you update? Why didn't I saw it earlier? and where was I?
Oh right I was busy working... :sweatdrop:
But this! :thumbsup NobuAnnin has been growing on me since Majusuka and eye seks on tumblr.
THank you for your update!
ArígatoU! :kneelbow:
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OH MY GAWD, HOW THE HECK DID I NOT COME ACROSS THIS THREAD BEFORE?!!!!!!!!!
I have so many 'feels' for your incredible work, that I don't even know how to explain...
But if I can try...I think you've just climbed up my favorite Authors list. XD
Seriously, I just happened to see you on tumblr and decided to check out your fics. I literally flipped out when my eyes scanned over AnninNaga :panic: That pairing has so much awesome tension lol. I really enjoyed the one shot and you're doing good with Nobunaga's character so it shouldn't be a problem, she is how you interpret her and we readers appreciate it! You missed it though when the AKB48 fandom went crazy over AnninNaga on tumblr last month ahah, it was really fun!
I also went crazy when I saw that you adore BuraGeki!!! That's my Majisuka OTP next to AnninNaga too. I do not know how to comment or spazz properly, but your Chinmoku fanfic was so epically amazing!!! Just let me kowtow to you first :bow: :bow: :bow:
I supposedly went to bed at 12am and by the time I finished reading Chinmoku it was 4:08am &&& I USUALLY WAKE UP FOR WORK AT 4!!! LOL, did not get any sleep at all...no regrets though :cow: I'm a pretty slow reader, but that is only because I have to slow down and take in every little detail you're offering through this masterpiece. In the beginning BuraGeki's makeout scene was sooooo *Nosebleeds** Fuuuuu~~~ my heart was like beating wildly with them. It's the way you describe their emotions the angst is killing me, but it's so beautiful. I don't even know if I make sense lol. Then the action and gore....I love it :pimp: Your Gekikara is so cool, it's such a satisfying read.
I am looking forward to an update and perhaps more AnninNaga goodies. :thumbup
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A/N: Update time. Gonna drop this off and leave...I'm not really in the mood to reply back to the comments...some other time...I just want to finish crying and clear my mind off. I don't know if I did well in this update and I'm sorry if its of poor quality and made you guys wait for something crappy.
Sorry.
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Chinmoku
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Part X-II
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It was like a dream of what once started normally, turned bitterly into a nightmare that never seemed to have a fitting end. In fact, it never seemed to have an end at all; well mostly, for the suffering part due from torment and desperation which became partly the reason, but most likely, it was because of guilt and fear that kept everything from reaching any conclusion. Yet, for this to happen, in a cruel wrenching nightmare-like scenario, it was somehow too good to be true.
It was just too good to happen.
But, Black wanted to believe that this is really happening, that this is in fact reality, not a sick wanton wish or hallucination caused by her own mind.
‘Please…let this all be real…’ Black thought, wanting to firmly grasp on that fact that she had finally reached her, that Gekikara had called her, not purely out of malice and bloodlust, but how the younger queen usually called her name softly with a hint of need and tenderness attached, the norm of how Gekikara would address her when they were alone, when the world would only revolve around the two of them in their own small silent space where nothing mattered but each other’s company.
It was only natural that Black did not want to think of it all as an illusion that was made from all the pain and exhaustion that continuously tormented her in more than one way, but, if ever that this was a dream, then, it was too good; too good that it had already brought more tears to trickle down her cheeks.
This was like a miracle, something of which she could hardly grasp with her hands due to how hard it was for her to hope for everything to be real, fearing that if she were to cling on that small shining light, it might suddenly disappear in front of her, leaving her empty and distraught once more; but, even if Black knew that she shouldn’t fall for it, she was attracted to that little hope just like how Eve was tempted by the snake to taste the forbidden fruit.
The urge itself was as strong as that.
It was inevitable, but Black felt that temptation rising to take what’s in front of her and to just cling on that little hope that this is reality and not some sick fantasy.
‘Don’t make me hope…I don’t want this to be just a dream…’
‘Please…’ Black pleaded in her mind as her dark obsidian eyes stared straight up to look at the younger queen, her eyes trembling with uncertainty as she gazed at Gekikara who also had kept her full attention on Black, worry and fear marring her face along with the droplets of blood and tears that tainted her cheeks. Black felt guilty for the dirt that tainted the younger girl’s pretty face, but she could not help but feel a bit happy for the undivided attention that Gekikara was finally gracing her.
“Yuki…” Gekikara called, her voice small and weak, but filled with worry and sadness; her voice lost its luster and confidence that was once presently there, snaring at the former queen moments ago mockingly and maliciously.
The feeling of exhaustion made Gekikara feel weak and small, a feeling that only comes in rare occasions, and just looking at the older raven lying there on the small puddle of blood that came from the wound of her shoulder.
Gekikara took in a shaky breath in, looking away as she felt more pain. The sight added more weight on the exhaustion Gekikara felt that was already hugely present, but nothing could ever compare to the weight of guilt she is carrying in her heart.
‘It hurts…’
Sucking a shaky breath, Gekikara tried to stabilize her body from shaking too much; she placed a hand over to where her heart would be as she grasped it painfully. Gekikara shook; she hated this feeling because it made her heart hurts so much, it felt too heavy. It was too tight, like her heart was being constricted by something, not from her hand, but from something invisible, something unseen, something that Gekikara didn’t know, but felt anyhow.
‘Rena…’
The former queen weakly placed a hand to her chest, just as what Gekikara had done and grasped her black T-shirt, closing her eyes as small beads of tears dripped down and caressed her warm cheeks.
‘It feels like…it’s been so long…since she called me that…’ Black told to herself whilst letting out small puffs of breath as she eased the painful throb in her lungs and heart, yet nothing seemed to ease the fast painful throbbing of her heart as it kept palpitating in her chest.
‘It’s almost like eternity…’ She mused sadly, slowly trying to move her body as she took in a shaky breath, only to choke down on her saliva when she felt a pain shock course from her shoulder to her chest when she made a bad move, making Black let out a sharp cry and writhed again.
“No…!” Gekikara gritted her teeth together as she let out a strangled cry; she tried to hold back a scream from tearing out of her mouth as she held onto Black.
Gekikara wanted to scream.
She wanted to cry out in anger and pure hatred, but she held back, biting down her bottom lip, resolving to vent out her frustrated emotions by crying. Yet, Gekikara held it back, she kept her voice from spilling out when she felt a hand graze into her own, enveloping it with warmth as it held her own cold owns gently. Instinctively, the young queen looked down, and she felt herself gasp as her breath was taken away.
Black stared back with tired eyes, gazing gently at Gekikara, as if reassuringly whilst giving her a faint smile that ghosted on her lips.
Just hearing the young queen call her again had struck her deep to her heart, it was more than enough to make her feel alive again. Her heart, which had long somehow stopped hoping and stopped believing, only awaiting for death itself, was now thumping madly inside her chest, faster than she could ever believe it had especially with the state of her body at this current moment.
The feeling of her heart thumping madly left a numbing sensation to her chest, but it was not unpleasant, in fact, it was a good feeling that swelled inside her. A warm, fuzzy and light feeling had enveloped her heart, making her body feel light and at ease, as if all the pain on her wounds had evaporated in an instance with just hearing the young queen call her by her real name again. Although she had heard the anguish in the younger raven’s voice that made her felt a slight pain to twinge inside her heart, nevertheless, she felt a little bit of joy, even if for a little moment.
Was it kind of cruel to think that she had enjoyed hearing her name with the younger girl’s voice twinge with pain and sadness? Maybe; maybe it was cruel, but she needed it so much. Black never knew she longed so much for this moment, when finally the younger girl had taken notice of her.
Black knew she was being too childish at that moment, but she missed hearing the younger girl calling her name. She missed it so much, and she wanted to believe that there was still some hope left to get fully through the young queen’s heart as the want to get Gekikara back to her normal self grew immensely.
It was not for the simple purpose of the need to repent for her sins nor for her own wellbeing’s sake, but for the sake of her baby boy and for the younger queen’s. She needed to do that as well as to live, and that was all that mattered most to her at this moment because they needed it; they needed her as she much as she needed them too. Black loves them more than anything, even more than herself, that’s why she could not bear to leave them alone even though she was lying down waiting for death while writhing in deep torment.
What would happen if she were to die and disappear?
The thought of that left a tinge of small pain in her heart that was enough to make her let out a pained gasp. She did not want to think of it because the thought itself was painful enough to hurt her in her own weak and vulnerable state. But this was not the perfect time for her to contemplating about these kinds of negative thoughts, there were still some things she has left to do, some things that she has to face now, and she knew more than anyone else that she needed to do it now and not some other time because there was no other better time because there might be a time in the future…where she won’t be able to do so.
‘I can’t…let that happen…’
Black wheezed, her breath coming out as short ragged puffs. She tried to push herself up, hoping that her body would collaborate with her. However, before she could even do so, the older raven suddenly gritted her teeth in pain, her body going tense and rigid as she felt the powerful sting on the wound of her shoulder.
The feeling itself was far from pleasant as she felt needles prickling her skin with fire grazing over her wound. It made Black struggle underneath Gekikara, her hands held onto Gekikara’s tightly as she coughed up a bit, feeling dizzy and nauseous from the scent of blood and the overpowering exhaustion.
“Y…Yuki!!” Gekikara shouted in panic; tearing up more while she witnessed the discomfort and pain that Black is feeling.
It was too heartbreaking to look at the older raven struggling and in pain, it made Gekikara feel crushed and repulsed at herself as she helplessly watch Black gasping in short puffs as her body twisted and turned at the burning sensation that stung so badly from her wound.
Gekikara again fought the desperation inside her heart to cry in agony and gravel down the ground, hoping that it would open up and eat her alive. It would not do her any good if she would surrender now, out of all the times. What type of person, creature that she is if she would abandon the one sole person that never let her go?
She gritted her teeth, grinding them as she channeled all of her inner frustration, hoping that it would ease her mind and soul. Just the simply thought of ever wanting to let go of Black made her stomach revolt in disgust. It was wrong; oh so plainly and utterly wrong and Gekikara did not have the heart, courage or the face to even leave Black aside.
Her heart would never approve of it. If she did, the cost of it would be her own life. She wouldn’t have the heart to live on if Black were to die and disappear; she never had the heart in the very first attempt to ever leave her side from the beginning, even just simply leaving the former queen’s side hours ago had already made her want to come back, running. And she wants to laugh at herself in spite, just seeing and realizing how much weaker she had gotten and how much soft and submissive she had become in the presence of the older raven.
Gekikara knew, for so long that loving and feeling so much more for Black would eventually weaken her and crush her into nothing but a speck of what she was in the past. But that doesn’t mean that she could easily as accept it.
It just sickens her how much soft she had gotten because it just meant that she would never have any capability to protect and fight for people she cared for if she were this weak, but that doesn’t also mean that she has the heart to hate the one true person that first showed so much affection and care to her.
Painful, but endearingly truthful, she could never hate Black. No matter how much emotional pain she felt just by being near her, she could never hate her.
Because she loves her too much to even hate her. And that’s what hurts the most and Gekikara could so much as to want to scowl at herself for feeling and thinking of hating Black. It was her own weakness itself that lead to this and the one solely at fault would be her.
It should be she herself that she should hate and no one else.
“My head…hurts…” Black complained weakly; and evidently enough, her hand was on her temple, massaging it in hopes of easing the dizziness and mad pounding inside her head, but to no avail, it only served to aggravate her already miserable weakened and battered state. The location also wasn’t helping her ease up either, especially with the estranged sent that was becoming of the corpse that lied a few meters away from it. It smelled awful and rotten that it made her nauseous.
Unable to bear it the nausea, Black rolls over to the side, scooting farther away from Gekikara as possible, lifting herself in all four with as much strength she could possibly muster and doubled over; spilling all of the contents in her stomach to the pavement floor.
‘This is all my fault…’
Gekikara gazed guiltily at the older raven at hearing her continuous pained coughing; Black was almost close to even gagging again. Dreading for Black’s condition, Gekikara wanted to shift her position without wanting to aggravate the wounded raven’s shoulder. Gekikara slowly scooted to Black’s kneeling figure, and helplessly bowed her head in her own shame at the sight of the older girl’s miserable figure hunched over in a kneeling position.
‘…Why did it have to come to…this?’ Gekikara glumly asked herself mournfully.
Hurting Black was the last thing she ever wanted, because that was the one thing she would never want to commit. Leaving her was already painful enough because no matter how much she willed herself; she would still turn around, looking longingly at the direction where she had left the taller girl.
It pains her so much.
What more was it…to just hurt, no, to kill the person who was her savior in the past and the one she holds important to her heart?
It would make her a hypocrite if she did not even as much as admit she loved Black. She always had, especially after being so close to her, and especially when Black had been with her all throughout, supporting her and giving her comfort and a reassuring promise of something good to come despite all of the struggles she had went through.
When Black came into her life, she never left, not one single time and ever since the day she came, she had struck an impression, a very impeccable expression of a young girl full of hopes, aspirations and dreams, it was stereotypical, yes, and the fact that Black was too popular for her own inclining, it made Black, or Yuki as she goes on before as more endearing for Gekikara when the raven was a lot more than just a face and a name that she could just ignore and pass by.
Black was more than that, she wasn’t just a beautiful face, a decoration of a sort that beautified and overthrow rotten people such as herself. Black in fact was a kind spirited person, too kind for her own good and too caring. Gekikara had to admit it that at first, she never liked how the older raven pressed into her matters, but as time went by, she had learned to appreciate the small caring gestures that Black would show her in the past as Yuki. And fairly enough, even if Black denied that she could never return to her former self now, she was still the old Kashiwagi Yuki beneath the cold, hard and mysterious façade that she placed used to mask herself, nothing ever changed at all since then. Not once, not ever.
Gekikara would have told Black, but she knew that the former queen would be persistent and adamant in denying such a thing from her, but whenever Gekikara finds Black alone with her head bowed down and silently praying, she can’t help but see the sliver of a crack in the mask that Black wore, letting her see just how vulnerable and weak she was just as she had been before being Rappapa’s queen.
A tear softly slid down Gekikara’s cheek as she remembered a small part in the past, and an image of Yuki appears in her mind. The raven’s back was facing her, and was kneeling and crying in grief, the obvious marks of bruises and reddish cuts evident on her awfully pale skin with only a thin white blouse to cover her body. She sat there at the center of the park in the dark, gripping her blouse as tightly with what small strength she had left in her body. Gekikara could vividly remember that with each pained breaths and each sob that wracked Yuki’s fragile frame and the tiny bit of blood sipped out from her open cuts, the anger inside her heart grew, the more she hungered for revenge. It became an insatiable desire to kill those who had harmed Yuki and she had longed for that day to avenge her.
She hated them, more than anything else in the world and until now, even as the event became a passing memory, all the feelings she had felt in her heart were still up till now, caged up, but before her rage overrides her consciousness and make her do something again, Gekikara pushed away the memory, farther in the back of her mind. It didn’t stop Gekikara from crying continuously in frustration and anger.
It was a simple memory now, but never the less, it was powerful enough to bring her up and at the same time, spiral her down till she crashes back because, not only did it served as a memory for her own weakness, but also for her inability to protect her the very first friend she had and that itself left a sore aftertaste.
“You don’t…need to blame yourself…”
“I’d rather…that you don’t.” Black softly pleaded, startling Gekikara when she heard her voice, and in a swift motion, she looked up and saw a comforting smile on Black’s face, and oddly enough, the wounded raven looked serene with her back leaning on the bricked wall, her eyes closed. The scene made Gekikara feel somehow at ease all of a sudden, as if a part of her burden was momentarily lifted off from just seeing Black like that, and smile, it made the young queen feel nostalgic.
“Yuki…” Gekikara whispered; her voice cracking as more unshed tears formed in her eyes, threatening to fall soon and when Black opened her eyes, she stared straight into Gekikara’s teary eyes. The chocolate brown eyes that Black had once gazed upon that were once hazy and fogged in those torturous in their heated clash, were now crystal clear, just like how she remembered them to be in her mind; only that at this moment, they were brimming and shining with unshed tears that threatened to fall down from the younger raven’s eyes.
Seeing Gekikara’s unshed tears, brought more sharp pang of guilty pain in the former queen’s heart, yet she found an odd sense of comfort in it, though small, was enough to give a bit of comfort to Black’s own distressed and conflicting emotions and pain.
A small spark of light lit up in the back of her mind, urging her, asking her to try and reach up, and she did, not because her mind told her to do so, but because she wanted to feel the younger girl again.
The raven scooted closer to Gekikara and tried to raise both of her hands. Slowly but surely, ignoring the current of pain running through her shoulders and arms. Black took her time, and it felt like eternity, it felt so long and the distance felt so wide and far, yet the moment when her fingers caressed Gekikara’s face, a wave of happiness and relief rushed through Black’s heart that it made her momentarily forget the pain she was sustaining from her wound.
This one little chance of being able to touch the younger girl’s soft skin again left a temporary feeling of comfort to the older raven; light slowly came back into Black’s teary obsidian orbs, a small sad smile forming on her lips. She caressed the younger girl’s cheeks, wiping off the small droplet of blood and tears that were threatening to drip off from Gekikara’s jaws.
It did not go unnoticed to Black when she felt Gekikara’s jaw muscle clench and her body tense up above her just from the slightest touch that the former queen inflicted, and that reaction served to encourage Black further, knowing that she was emitting some response, no matter how little it was, it was precious enough.
“It isn’t your fault…so don’t blame yourself.” Black whispered, repeating her words again while pleading in an attempt to comfort and convince the younger raven.
“But…this wouldn’t have happened if…I hadn’t–,“ Gekikara blabbered, only to be stopped by a gentle press of Black’s finger on her lips followed suit by a shook from Black, before she gazed at Gekikara seriously in an attempt to convey her emotions to the younger girl.
Gekikara frowned and shook her head. It didn’t seem right not to blame herself; she knew what deed she had done, and what she did was wrong. Gekikara knows that Black also knows that fact. So how can the older raven say something like that without even as much a trace of anger and hatred for her own wrong doings?
“But still…” Gekikara protested, gently pushing away Black’s hand. She stared at the ground with downcast eyes, not wanting to look at Black in shame as she twiddled with her fingers, still continuing to blame herself, “I hurt you. I almost killed you even…”
“You have every right to blame me…you should even despise me…”
The younger raven laughed bitterly as she pointed out the worse fact that led to Black’s wound. Gekikara was not proud of what she had done; she never did mean to do it. She had never wanted to hurt Black but seeing how weak she had been that she had let her emotions past her own judgment made her feel disgusted of herself. It was miserable, but she hated herself, and there was no way that she could forgive herself.
“So please…”
“Push me away, far from you even…” Gekikara mumbled, her voice cracking ever so slightly as tears softly cascaded down from her eyes, making a streak down her cheeks. The young queen had her head down, her eyes sought nothing but the dirty pavement; she wouldn’t dare look up because she couldn’t as much have the guts as to meet Black’s silent gaze, knowing that if she did, her resolve would weaken.
“I’m begging you…please.” Gekikara admitted miserably in a small weak voice. It was like a frightened child’s voice, it sounded vulnerable and small, very unlike to Gekikara’s loud and frightening voice because it did not hide anything at all. All of her emotions were bare for Black to see, and all for Black to crush, Gekikara would give everything up in a heartbeat for her, and she’d give up being Black’s friend if the older raven ever said it.
She wouldn’t argue back, she wouldn’t even fight back if ever Black were to cast her away again. It may seem that she was running away again though, maybe, maybe she really is, but then again this is the only best thing she could do…this was the only option left so she wouldn’t make Black bare anymore pain.
The raven in questions however, did not as much as spoke nor made a sound at hearing her plea; instead she only looked at Gekikara with her jaws clenched tight and her face void of any facial expression, but, it couldn’t be said the same with the emotion that welled up in her eyes.
“Are you really…alright with that?” Black asked, struggling to keep her voice monotonous, but she gazed at Gekikara with unwavering eyes that sought out the younger raven’s own, hoping that she would look up and make eye contacts. It was only that, Gekikara never did, she only looked even away farther from Black and shrank from Black’s piercing dark orbs. Saddened by the younger girl’s refusal to make eye contact, Black merely murmured something under her breath and tilted her head, her gaze averted.
“You’re really cruel…Rena.”
Gekikara jolted, hearing the Black’s words, it hurts as if it were a knife cutting over her skin, she gritted her teeth together at the pain that struck her because the former queen never sounded so sad like that, she was often if not, monotonous and sarcastic but never…she never sounded that sad, not once since after being disowned by her parents or when Yuko had died.
Gekikara continued to kneel, stunned and guilty, but she held everything, knowing that she needs to be firm, that she wouldn’t waver, but all of those…all of those thoughts were now lost and abandoned when she felt Black shift and move close, and she held her breath as for the first time in a while…she felt Black’s arms wrap around her slim frame, never realizing that she had been trembling until she felt Black pressed her body firmly to hers.
“Really, really cruel…” Black chuckled weakly; with eyes closed, she let a sad tiny smile form on her lips, a tired sigh escaping from her parted trembling lips. Her breath hitting Gekikara’s cold cheeks, sending a shiver down the younger raven’s spine, and then, Black felt the other girl’s hands on her sides, squeezing her clothes and struggling in her embrace.
“Yuki…please…let go…”
“I don’t want to be tied down anymore…” Gekikara shut her eyes and pleaded, wanting to keep the older girl an arms distance away from her, knowing just how much effect Black had over her and it scared her how her desire to kill might come back and once again hurt the weakened raven. So even if Gekikara wanted to yield, even if all she wanted now was to feel Black’s warmth and lean in her embrace, she wouldn’t, because she couldn’t let anything bad happen again.
Black stayed adamant even when she felt the recurring sting in her shoulder due to the discomfort of having to force her arms to tighten around Gekikara’s waist, she still held on and Gekikara found it harder to keep herself from not yielding in. Seeing her persistence, Gekikara only cried more, already knowing that she would reach her limitations.
Unable to take it any longer, with both of her hands pressed onto Black’s side, Gekikara tried to gently push the raven, hoping that she would break the hug, but Black only held tighter whilst burying her face into the crook of the short queen’s neck and pressed her weakened body close, even almost to the point of leaning on Gekikara for support.
“Please…”
“Let me be selfish for once…” Black said while she struggled to keep herself up, the recurring sting on her shoulder increasing as she held tighter, and faintly, her vision misted, she tried to take a take a deep breathe in, only to wheeze.
“Let me stay like this for a moment…”
Black felt her heart tightened inside her chest and she winced at the internal pain along with the stinging of her shoulders, but she ignored them, even when she felt her eyes slowly close themselves, even as her body slowly succumbed to oblivion, she ignored the pain and continued to hold onto Gekikara for how long she could possibly do and for how long her body could feel before it turns colder.
“I just…want to hold you right now.”
“Just this once…” Black weakly said, letting herself shed tears as she clung to Gekikara, who stayed still and did not so any much as struggle, instead, she listened, heartbreaking as she felt Black’s body quaking and her breath hitching as she struggled to keep her voice from shaking and breaking.
“After this…it won’t happen again…”
“For now…just let me.”
Black smiled weakly, not out of joy, but of sadness, because she knew without doubt, she been too late, but she didn’t want to force Gekikara to falter, knowing she had already made her decision and she’ll respect it, no matter how much she didn’t like it and no matter how much it would kill her, no matter how much she wanted Gekikara back with her again.
“After this…”
She fully closed her tired eyes, letting darkness take her vision. She stayed still, in Gekikara’s embrace and let out a broken chuckle, and before she totally surrendered herself to oblivion, she gave Gekikara the consent she wanted, not wholeheartedly but out of respect for her wishes.
“I’ll let you go…”
Black took a deep shaky breath, readying herself as she spoke the next words, the sad smile on her face never faltering as she spoke weakly that only Gekikara could hear.
And almost too soon as the words came out, Gekikara let herself sob in Black’s embrace.
“…I’m sorry for everything…”
“And…I love you.”
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End of Part X-II
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Sieka-sama!!! you made me cry with this update... :cry: :cry:
Ah... I hope Black stays alive, and Geki and her makes up... That last sentence... :wub:
Ah, I'm so worried for Black now.. :panic: :panic:
I'll be waiting for your next update!! :bow: :bow:
And sorry that this is so short... :bow: :bow:
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Hiiii i'm new readeer \o
your fanfics are so perfeeect *----*
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Hello! New reader here!
I've already read all of your YukiRena's collections.. And I really love it! Especially Chinmoku XD
This chapter was so sad.. :cry:
I hope they'll be okay..
“I’ll let you go…”
Black.. Don't let her go! :cry:
I really can't wait for your next update XD
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“After this…”
She fully closed her tired eyes, letting darkness take her vision. She stayed still, in Gekikara’s embrace and let out a broken chuckle, and before she totally surrendered herself to oblivion, she gave Gekikara the consent she wanted, not wholeheartedly but out of respect for her wishes.
“I’ll let you go…”
Black took a deep shaky breath, readying herself as she spoke the next words, the sad smile on her face never faltering as she spoke weakly that only Gekikara could hear.
And almost too soon as the words came out, Gekikara let herself sob in Black’s embrace.
“…I’m sorry for everything…”
“And…I love you.”
:ptam-hbk: :ptam-cry: my heart is broken, omg, nooooo
please Geki, don't goooooooo :ptam-hbk:
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This chapter was so heartbreaking, but I guess that was to be expected after all the angst that had built up. These two seriously needs to clear up their misunderstanding, because both know that they can not possibly live happily without each other. It also did not help at all that I was listening to a really sappy song in the background too while taking in every heart wrenching detail you had to offer us through the characters lol. I don't know, but their emotions were so beautifully written and detailed that I literally felt miserable along with the pain that was being described. To be able to convey such deep feelings of love and anguish...I just... :cry: :bow: :bow: :bow: Awwman, what will happen now? I just want them to be happy T^T, but how can they??!!! Black seems to have given up and Gekikara is now a murderer and and---Arrghhh!! I don't know....They need to elope now (with her boy too though) & finally she confesses...Gekikara needs to also keep holding on!
Gawd...Lots of feels~~
:wigglypanda:
This was a great update Sieka! I'm very thankful for all the hard work you have put into this chapter. Please take your time and don't ever abandon this fic, I will continue to support you^^ I hope you feel better really. Waiting patiently okay? :peace:
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:shocked Sieka-san your update is splendid as always :cow:
Shall I use many emoticon? ufufufu~
*bow I'm gonna have respect for the great author here :bow:
But all I can say that: It felt like you literary ripped my heart with your bare hand and then threw it in a mixer.
Reading this fic seeing Rena and Yukirin....it hurts :cry:
“For now…just let me.”
Black smiled weakly, not out of joy, but of sadness, because she knew without doubt, she been too late, but she didn’t want to force Gekikara to falter, knowing she had already made her decision and she’ll respect it, no matter how much she didn’t like it and no matter how much it would kill her, no matter how much she wanted Gekikara back with her again.
“After this…”
She fully closed her tired eyes, letting darkness take her vision. She stayed still, in Gekikara’s embrace and let out a broken chuckle, and before she totally surrendered herself to oblivion, she gave Gekikara the consent she wanted, not wholeheartedly but out of respect for her wishes.
“I’ll let you go…”
Black took a deep shaky breath, readying herself as she spoke the next words, the sad smile on her face never faltering as she spoke weakly that only Gekikara could hear.
And almost too soon as the words came out, Gekikara let herself sob in Black’s embrace.
“…I’m sorry for everything…”
“And…I love you.”
This is heartbreaking
*going to cry in the corner until Sieka-san update....
ArígatoU! :kneelbow:
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i agree.....theres so much feels in this chapter D:
my heart was just clenching so much! za pain!!
but black will never hate gekikara no matter how much she wants her to hate her
BUT OMG DONT LET HER GO!!!
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Hello everyone! How have you all been?
Hope your Christmas and New Year was happy irl! ^ ^
For a starter, I am always thankful to those who keep on supporting my fanfics and continue on reading them, thank you very much for all the comments and the likes, your support was too much and I know I can never reciprocate them with just thank you’s. Even bothering your time to read my fanfics, I am truly happy and thankful; I can’t probably express my feelings of gratitude from you guys because I know it won’t be enough.
I’ve started being a fanfic writer for almost year here already and the experience was fun, kind of also like a rollercoaster, but it was all fun even with a few problems that rises on with my hectic schedule and studies in my university.
This might sound sudden though now, what with due to the heat in the discussion and rules thread, I’m actually using the hate I’d probably receive as a power to be able to do this, it’s actually a good drive when people start hating you, it’s like a fuel drive. But anyhow I’ve already thought of this for two times last year and also just yesterday with someone. I’ve already talked to it already with two people for many times and I thank them for their patience in always listening to me. Thank you for sticking to me up until these times.
Anyhow, to cut the chase short, I will now discontinue all of my fics here, from Chinmoku up to the new fanfics I have and just updated a few days ago. And, I’ll leave the fanfic thread, I won’t be a writer anymore; I’ll still be around jphip though, but only to keep in track of some few things.
There is one fic that will continue on being updated, the collab fiction between me and LeNosferatu, but I will entrust Eru to post the updates for the thread and I will only be contributing on the actual writing and the indexing of the updates.
Again, I am not quitting just because of the flames that started in the discussion and rules thread, I’m leaving because of an old issue from a year ago and I’ve already consulted Eru for help, and the first that I thought about is quitting as a writer in JPHiP.
I am really sad that I’ll have to leave all my fanfics unfinished, especially Chinmoku as I really love this fic a lot but I cannot take this along with me to the new place where I will place all my new fanfics now as I want to start anew, I won’t say where I’ll be though, but I’ll be around posting new fanfics. Haha… ^ ^
Anyhow again, thank you to those who have followed me from start up until now, thank you for all the nice times here and I hope everyone will take care!
Sometime maybe in the future when all my worries from a year before have faded, I might come back…we’ll see…
Anyways, thanks for reading…thank you. Really, thank you very much. Everyone has been really good, keep on being kind and also keep on striving for improvement and what you deem is best in your interests, also, listen to each other’s opinions and suggestion to make a better thread. Keep on supporting the other writers!
Also, to my skype and twitter friends, let’s all keep in touch?
I’ll still keep my fanfics here open for people to be able to read them, but I am not going to update them anymore…
Thank you anyways for the good memories. Thank you so much to LeNosferatu, anzai48, karomuwi, Divine Vengeance, bochang48, altoids, Megumi, Pandah, anonymousdowner, ohayou and the others!
Thank you for the great fanfics and thank you for the wonderful comments.
I made this decision based from yesterday's final discussion with Eru and today's events did not made me move to this point, I've already came to points of giving up a year ago, so I will now formally state my leave. I don't really care otherwise if people bash me or say mean words behind my back because it wouldn't really change my decision anymore.
This is final and there won't be anymore revisions.
Thank you for reading.
I'll miss all of those readers who really supported me up to the end. ^ ^
- Sieka
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I might not show it to everyone, but I respect you.
No, I won't protest to your decision to hiatus, as it's not my place to do so.
But I do hope, when you feel like coming back here, please do.
May The Force be with you.
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I don't know the reasons that made you decided to go to hiatus, but I can understand it (since I was on the 'no writing mode' for years before I tried to write here again). I'll be waiting patiently for your comeback here, and I hope I can find your fics in the other place. May the force be with you, Sieka-san.
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i think we lost one of great author in here...
but, if u want to do it.. i cant say anything...
always hope u will be back one day... Ganbarimasu Sieka-san ! :)
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yah! so this is your present for me? -.-!
please finish chinmoku for me. :p
you just give us a cliffhanger.. only one chapter more to see it's end.. XD
owh.. okay..
just seeing you chatting with eru in twitter is quite good..
reading all of that interesting plot.
it's enough for me. XD
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I really loved all your work, respected all your insight, and admired you as a writer...So with your notice, I really took it straight to the heart. I'm sad that you have decided to go on permanent haitus like this, but I understand that you have your worries. I'm sure many of us are truly hoping you do come back though. For now just go ahead and do what makes you feel better--do your own thing, what you have to do, what you want to do. Ahah, that's what I did. I will be searching for your future fanfics^^ & I was really looking forward to your chinmoku update...It's okay though, I get it.
Anyways, thanks for reading…thank you. Really, thank you very much. Everyone has been really good, keep on being kind and also keep on striving for improvement and what you deem is best in your interests, also, listen to each other’s opinions and suggestion to make a better thread. Keep on supporting the other writers!
:')
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Hi again, I'm actually surprised that I've garnered this much attention. :sweatdrop:
Thank you to everyone who commented, thank you...really, thank you, the support you still give even though I've already announced this has been a help to get a bit through the loss of losing everything here, and even though I purposely took it into decision to not continue on with the fics, there was a reason why, not because I want to sound dramatic or for people to pity me, nope, I'm not doing that, I don't like being pitied anyhow because I made this decision on my own without Eru or anyone interfering with it.
Everyone's comment is really kind, I'm really happy. :)
But the reason I am here is not just to comment about the comments or the support, I'm here to again make a notice, but now concerning on the messages I get. Please, if you guys only want to bother me to explain about my feelings or my reasons why I left, or practically whatever it is, I will not reply to your personal messages. I will even consider on blocking anyone who tries to make an argument with me or bash me through the pm system. I will even delete those messages and ignore them.
I am not joking, I am serious. I would rather to stay silent on what I feel and what is the real reason of why I left rather than for other people to consider my words as complains when I talk about them. It rather hurts when people see it actually as a complain when you are being honest about what you just typed concerning about your feelings and I would rather like to avoid that. I prefer to keep quiet, to stay silent and to just keep the feelings and reasons to myself and talk about them to people when I really need to talk about it than to enter an argument or a discussion that would just rise in flames.
It isn't actions that always hurts you, it is always the words being said to you because words speaks louder than actions. Anything you say will always be imprinted in the mind while physical wounds can always heal in time, it may vanish or become scars, but it heals. Wounds imprinted in the heart and mind takes a long time to heal, maybe never even because you'll always remember them.
It also though depends on the words aimed to you of course, but if anyone tries to personally talk bad things about me, I'll let fate decide things upon you. :)
I still don't care if I get any hate or bash even after the topic in the discussion and rule thread because getting the hate isn't something that would hurt me, I don't really care if anyone hates me. I openly stated my leave, and I will leave with the hates directed at me. It actually helps that someone hates me that I am able to let go of all of my fanfics because then it would hurt less, I wouldn't cry anymore about losing all the fics I love. I've already cried a lot about it just last few days ago when I talked with Eru, I'm also saddened too to leave everything in a cliffhanger with no such proper ending, I wouldn't cry so hard if I didn't feel bad about it and I don't feel dismayed at the lost time and effort, I am just clearly hurt about not being able to continue on because if I did take them with me...they would just be a reminder of my worries and that would suck because I am trying to as get over the issues from a year ago.
Anyhow, thank you for the kind words of respect and support.
Thank you for taking your time again to read my useless notice even if it takes your time. I appreciated it a lot.
I am still open though for discussions through the pm system, just don't bother me about talking about my side anymore, I've said as much already in the discussion thread, I will leave it to you now to understand and to try to decipher it. It's alright though if no one tries to understand, I've already given up in being understood long long ago already and its no use to cry over spilled milk anyways.
Just please, don't bother me with pms like that, okay? I'll discuss it when I find it comfortable to say.
Thank you again.
Have a nice day to everyone. And I too respect each and everyone of you, your efforts will never go in vain. Don't worry. Even if sometimes you feel like giving up because no one wants to listen to you or notice you, it's alright. There's always someone out there that understands you, agrees with you and supports you throughout the way.
PS. Maybe someday...but not anytime soon. ^ ^
Happy birthday to you, Oppa. Sorry about this being a bad present for you...I was surprised to find out that today is your birthday...ah, sorry, but I can't continue Chinmoku. You are welcome to always read about the plot discussions me and Eru have on twitter though. :)
And, I am not arguing or complaining, I just want to explain myself, if you see this as an irritation like an eyesore then please, step out of my thread, close the tab and don't read because I will not enter an argument with anyone and I would just ignore you completely.
You always have the power to ignore everything, after all, we discussed it in the thread; "If you don't like to read it, then don't. Leave and don't click it."
- Sieka
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Basically, I'm just here to inform people that I've made a new place for my fanfics, I've already placed it on my tumblr and such, but for the sake of informing my other reader's here, I'd just like to say you can find me here:
http://surrealparadox.wordpress.com/ (http://surrealparadox.wordpress.com/)
Visit my fanfic blog anytime you want and drop by, I'll be posting and updating more there for my new fanfics.
Also, I've made another new decision to continue Memories of the Heart, that's the only thing I'll be picking up apart from Let Love Bleed Red. ^ ^
Anyhow, see you guys around the thread! Gonna go and read and write some fanfics. ^ ^
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Hello everyone! How have you all been?
Hope your Christmas and New Year was happy irl! ^ ^
For a starter, I am always thankful to those who keep on supporting my fanfics and continue on reading them, thank you very much for all the comments and the likes, your support was too much and I know I can never reciprocate them with just thank you’s. Even bothering your time to read my fanfics, I am truly happy and thankful; I can’t probably express my feelings of gratitude from you guys because I know it won’t be enough.
I’ve started being a fanfic writer for almost year here already and the experience was fun, kind of also like a rollercoaster, but it was all fun even with a few problems that rises on with my hectic schedule and studies in my university.
This might sound sudden though now, what with due to the heat in the discussion and rules thread, I’m actually using the hate I’d probably receive as a power to be able to do this, it’s actually a good drive when people start hating you, it’s like a fuel drive. But anyhow I’ve already thought of this for two times last year and also just yesterday with someone. I’ve already talked to it already with two people for many times and I thank them for their patience in always listening to me. Thank you for sticking to me up until these times.
Anyhow, to cut the chase short, I will now discontinue all of my fics here, from Chinmoku up to the new fanfics I have and just updated a few days ago. And, I’ll leave the fanfic thread, I won’t be a writer anymore; I’ll still be around jphip though, but only to keep in track of some few things.
There is one fic that will continue on being updated, the collab fiction between me and LeNosferatu, but I will entrust Eru to post the updates for the thread and I will only be contributing on the actual writing and the indexing of the updates.
Again, I am not quitting just because of the flames that started in the discussion and rules thread, I’m leaving because of an old issue from a year ago and I’ve already consulted Eru for help, and the first that I thought about is quitting as a writer in JPHiP.
I am really sad that I’ll have to leave all my fanfics unfinished, especially Chinmoku as I really love this fic a lot but I cannot take this along with me to the new place where I will place all my new fanfics now as I want to start anew, I won’t say where I’ll be though, but I’ll be around posting new fanfics. Haha… ^ ^
Anyhow again, thank you to those who have followed me from start up until now, thank you for all the nice times here and I hope everyone will take care!
Sometime maybe in the future when all my worries from a year before have faded, I might come back…we’ll see…
Anyways, thanks for reading…thank you. Really, thank you very much. Everyone has been really good, keep on being kind and also keep on striving for improvement and what you deem is best in your interests, also, listen to each other’s opinions and suggestion to make a better thread. Keep on supporting the other writers!
Also, to my skype and twitter friends, let’s all keep in touch?
I’ll still keep my fanfics here open for people to be able to read them, but I am not going to update them anymore…
Thank you anyways for the good memories. Thank you so much to LeNosferatu, anzai48, karomuwi, Divine Vengeance, bochang48, altoids, Megumi, Pandah, anonymousdowner, ohayou and the others!
Thank you for the great fanfics and thank you for the wonderful comments.
I made this decision based from yesterday's final discussion with Eru and today's events did not made me move to this point, I've already came to points of giving up a year ago, so I will now formally state my leave. I don't really care otherwise if people bash me or say mean words behind my back because it wouldn't really change my decision anymore.
This is final and there won't be anymore revisions.
Thank you for reading.
I'll miss all of those readers who really supported me up to the end. ^ ^
- Sieka
hi there I just wanted to say you are an amazing writer your way of making the characters interact is superb I just draws me in each and everytime I read your stories :roll: ...I feel ya I understand how you feel and why you decided to stop writing yes im sad that you wont be updating I loved your stories ... I went through the same thing on deviantart im an artist and I was treated the same way that it got so bad that at the moment its been 3 years since I last draw something I let them put me down :cry: :cry: :cry: so I understand how you feel anyways just wanna say I wish you the best and will be here if you ever decide to update :twothumbs
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=_= I haven't been on Jph!p for a while and skipped this forum to read on your own fanfic blog directly after your announcement on twitter.
I'm commenting because you mentioned my name. Ah, seriously I didn't do anything at all. Just a short comment here and there, showing respect for the author that had made me craving for more and more of RenaYuki pairing.
:kneelbow: