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Author Topic: Because of You : Breaking the silence [Chapter 25 (completed) + Credits - 18/05]  (Read 33231 times)

Offline caiyunki

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Re: Because of You : Breaking the silence [Chapter 24 - 16/05]
« Reply #140 on: May 17, 2011, 06:33:01 PM »
@ rndmnwierd : Sorry that I had made you confused, but Abe is not Abe Natsumi. It's first name. First name. HEHEHE. Seems like many found Risa jumping of the fence funny. I wonder how tall did you guys thought the fence was? hehehe. The one in my mind was only around waist height? Those wooden ones that you would find in the farms. heheh

@ Shiawase_Honoo : I'm sorry that I had made you cry  :cry: hehehehe  It's alright :)

@ oddball : Hahaha. It's alright. Eri do agree with you with that. hahahah

@ SarangAi : I gotto live up to my name heheheh =X

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[Chapter 25] - Because of You


"Ai-chan! You are back for visitation?" Abe asked as she stood aside, allowing Ai to walk into the hallway.


Ai nodded her head lightly at the question raised to her. And through the hallway, she managed to catch a glimpse of a sweeping fleeing figure, out from the kitchen, down the hallway and into the backyard. 'Risa?' Ai thought. She moved in a step nearer into the cottage to position herself at a better position. 'That's Risa.' Ai concluded as the fleeing figure flipped herself over the wooden fence, revealing her face for less than a second before continuing to progress herself away from the cottage.


Ai pulled her duffle bag closer to her body. (Gomen, Baa-chan. I will talk to you later) Ai signed as she dashed across the halls, towards the direction where the other girl had went. 'So she has been here all these while . . . ' But Ai stopped her feet as she reached the backyard and stopped before the fence. 'But what am I supposed to tell her when I caught up with her? Haven't I decided that it would be better if we just stay like what we are now. There's no way we could be together again, right? ' Ai started to wonder in her mind, with the little figure of Risa almost disappearing in sight. 'Could the reason for her disappearance . . . the fact that . . . She had gotten to know the truth, just like what Eri-san had say?' More qualms began to fill Ai's mind, with Risa now, totally out of sight. 'Nothing matters now. If I lost her now, I might lose her forever.' Ai decided, as she began to climb over the fence, increasing her speed towards the direction where Risa went. 'Papa Mama needs her now . . . '


On the other hand, Risa had started to lose her pacing in her running. Her stamina was greatly reduced, highly to the fact that she had just recovered from her fever and her starvation. Risa stopped her feet, rested her hands on her knees and bent down and began to heave in deep breath of air, hoping that that would help to reduce her heart rate and too, the breathlessness she experienced. She turned to face the direction she had come from, checking whether if anyone were following her. 'I hope she had not seen me . . .' Her heart had sunk into a short moment of relieve until the figure of Ai came into her vision. 'No . .  .' Risa thought desperately in her mind. Risa picked up her feet and began to progress forward once again, ignoring the signs her brain sent her regarding her limits.


'She runs so fast.' Ai thought after chasing the empty space in front of her for a moment. And when she noted the resting figure of Risa before her a few hundred metres away from her, her heart smiled. 'There she is. . . I chasing in the right direction after all.' She slowed her legs for a short while before quickening them again when she notice Risa had begun on her journey again. 'Stop running, Risa. . . Stop doing what I had been doing all these while, running away from the truth. . . '


'Stop chasing me . . . You don't have to come all the way with me to tell me that you hate me. I know. I had know it right from the start when I knew the truth, Ai. I was in the wrong. . . So stop chasing me. Don't make me break. . .I didn't want that to happen. . . I didn't want that to happen . . .' Risa thought in desperation as she could feel Ai's presence behind her, though the distance between the two of them was still considerably far away. And there, she had finally come to a dead end. She had reached the edge of the mountain. Risa glanced her surrounding in panic and her eyes stopped at the empty end down the edge of the mountain. Footsteps of Ai echoed in her ears from dozens of metres away. 'Would this be a better end?' Risa wondered as she took a small step nearer to the edge. 'Haven't I lost my reason to be alive?' She took another step forward.


'Risa?' Ai slowed down as she became aware of her surroundings. This was where she escaped to when she was humiliated by her schoolmates. The stationary figure of Risa stopping at the edge caused her heart to skip a beat. 'No. . . ' Her heart stopped when Risa took another step nearer to the edge. 'No . . . '


"RIII  . . . " An exceptionally high pitched voice echoed through the mountains, breaking off the chain of thoughts that were going on in Risa's mind.


'Who . . . Who was that?' Risa had her eyes shoot open in revelation, freezing in action. 'Was that a voice from my hallucination?'


Ai stood at her position, with her right hand grabbing onto the straps of her duffle bag tightly. The grip was so tight that her knuckles had turn white while her other hand were trembling by her side. 'No . . . Don't do that . . . Papa mama will be crushed . . . I will be crushed too . .  ' Ai set her eyes on the frozen figure of Risa.


Risa began to turn her body slowly, allowing herself to face Ai for the first time after whole month. Her guilt-stricken eyes met Ai's eyes of desperation that were filled with tears. Ai opened her mouth. "Rii . . . " Ai forced the vowel out of her vocal cord and shook her head. 'Don't do that . . . '


Risa took one step forward, away from the edge. 'She . . . She spoke . . .' Tears began to fill her eyes. 'Did I tried to end my life just now?' Risa finally realised what she were trying to do the minute ago.


(Why are you doing that?) Ai signed.


Risa looked away from Ai's eye contact and focus on the bare glass behind Ai. 'It's my fault. It's my fault that I had made Ai an orphan at the age of 4. . . It's all because of me, she had lost her parents. It's all my fault.' Her heart clenched painfully at the thought.


(Look at me, Risa. Why are you doing that?) Ai signed again when she realised Risa's attention was no longer on her.


Risa paid no attention to Ai. She clenched her fingers tightly by the side, hoping that that would reduce that pain in her heart. The icy cold touch on her wrist caused Risa to look down at the contact, only to find Ai right under her nose, right before her. The pair of eyes met again and stayed staring at each other.


(Did you manage to find out . . .) Ai removed her hands from Risa's wrist and signed. Before she managed to finish signing what she wanted to, Risa had interrupt her.


"Go ahead and say you hate me. Go ahead and hit me up. Do whatever you want to do to me. You can even push me down the mountain. I won't resist. I would regret. I won't hate you. Because all these thing would not be able to make up the sufferings, the pain, the angst I had brought to you all this while. Nothing will be able to make that up to you. Nothing. . . " Risa blurt out as she broke the eye contact and brought her hands to her head, pulling the ends of her hair while turning her head from left to right and back to the left.


(No . . I won't . . . I don't . . . ) Ai signed. But Risa had registered none of the answers Ai gave. (How can I even do that when I don't even blame you in the first place, Risa.)


"Go ahead. . . Help me . . .Hate me. . ." Risa begged and she glanced towards her right side. 'Maybe . .. hating me will make me feel less guilty. '


(I won't and I don't, Risa. Can't you understand?) Ai signed again.


"I snatched your parents away from you. I made you an orphan when I was supposed to be the one. I took away your happiness. I took away your rights, your possessions, your everything. How can you not hate me? Please hate me please? I - " Before Risa could finish blabbering her negative mind out, the same cold hand wrapped around her tear-stained cheek, pulling Risa closer to the owner of the hand. Instant later, a soft lip was pressed over hers, stopping words to come out of her mouth.


"He's coming!" Risa whispered out.


Without realising what she was doing, Risa pulled Ai's neck closer to her and placed a kiss on Ai's lips.


The second meeting. The scene where the pair met each other for the second time in their life flashed in Risa's mind.


(Does this answer your question?) Ai signed as she released her hand from Risa's cheeks.


"Why? Why did you do that? Why don't you hate me instead?" Risa blabbered within her sobs. She had definitely understood what Ai were trying convey through the kiss. 'I would rather you to hate me. . . '


(Because I love you, Risa.)


"Why? You should hate me. You shouldn't love me. You shouldn't. It's all my fault. I had taken away your things, Ai. It's me who had taken away all that were belong to you." Risa continued as she squatted down on the floor and buried her face into her knees, allowing her tears to soak through her jeans.


Ai followed the same action and came to the same level as Risa. She reached out her hands for Risa's. "Riii " Ai called out again as she placed pressure on her vocal cord again. "miii tteee." {A/N: In case you need translation, that meant 'mi te - which means look at me'}


Risa looked up from her knees and glanced straight into Ai's eyes. 'She . . . spoke again . . . Had Ai regained her ability to speak?'

 
(I had never blamed anyone. Not you. Not Papa Mama. It's not your fault. It's definitely not your fault. You didn't chose them.) Ai heaved in a deep breath. (Papa had never thought of me as her daughter. I know it. I got to know it as I grew older. You didn't chose them. You didn't make them as your parents. It is Papa who had choose you to be his daughter over me, and I'm glad it was you. How can I hate you for that fact that it wasn't even your fault to start with. How can I blame anyone when it was because of my own disability, which had caused all these series of events to happen.)


"But -" Risa tried to spoke up, but was stopped by Ai by Ai's finger on Risa's lips.


(Look at this.) Ai signed, unzipped her duffle bag, and pull out the violet box. She removed the cover of the box and took out the analogue watch. (Look. I'm no longer afraid of this. I'm no longer afraid of the time. I have accepted it. Putting away the fact that you are the little girl in my dream, there are so much things you had done for me, that made it even more impossible to hate you. I never thought I would be able to face my past in this way that I did right now. I never thought I would be able to secure this courage to trust people around me. I never thought I would be able to fall in love or be able to love anyone in my life. I never thought I would be able to speak again. But it's all because of you. Because of you, I have found the courage to face my past. Because of you, I have found the courage to trust again. Because of you, I got to know how was it like to love and to be in love. Because of you, I have found my motivation to continue searching for my voice. Because of you, my heart has found a reason to live. During my stay in the hospital, it was the daily message that kept me going every time my seizure seize me. It was your daily message that pulled me out from the countless attempts of self-mutilation I tried in the hospital. It is because of you, that allows me to stand here before you today, to face this in courage. How can I bring myself to hate you, when you had did some much things that had saved my life countless times. I can't. I can't. I don't want you to go through all the things I had went through.) Ai signed slowly, as the emotions that were kept in the bottom of her heart began to surface.


"But . . .I'm still not worthy of all these things. . . I'm not worthy . . . " Risa bittered, as she bit her bottom lips, looking away from Ai for a moment. Ai used her right hand and grabbed Risa's left, catching Risa's attention once again. When Risa had her eyes back on Ai, Ai nodded her head.


(You are worthy.) Ai leaned forward to Risa and stopped before Risa's lips. Bitting on her lips, Ai shifted her head slightly towards the right and placed a soft touch on Risa's right cheek. (You are definitely worthy.)


'Am I really that worthy?' Risa wondered in her mind as stared into beautiful lobe of Ai's eyes.


(Can I ask a selfish request from you?) Ai continued again.


Risa nodded her head immediately. 'I will do anything that you asked me. I am in debt with you, Ai.'


(Papa Mama need you.)


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"Ai-chan . . . She's alive . . . she's alive . . . " Renni cried out as she passed the letter left to Retora. "We don't deserve her mercy. We don't deserve her thoughtfulness. Anata. . . Our daughter . . . our daughter . . ." Renni sobbed as she buried her face into Retora's chest. Retora flipped open the folded piece of paper and ran his eyes through the paper. When he was done, he folded it back. "What should we do, Anata? What should we do?" Renni asked.


Retora remained silence at the question. He rubbed the back of the head of Renni gentle, coaxing her, hoping that that would help to cease the crying. 'What should we do? The company is already is a huge mess now. Nothing really matters now, isn't that true? I'm sorry, Ojii-san. I failed as your grandson, in maintaining the glory, the reputation you had exchanged with you blood and sweat. I failed as a father, had made such countless atrocious mistakes and actions, and had yet to repent from it.' "We will talk about it again. Your health matters the most now, as well as the safety of Risa."


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"Why . . . Why do you have the keys to Eri's house?" Risa asked. That was the first sentence she spoke since she boarded the train that would bring them back to the city with Ai.


(I stayed with Eri-san for the past few days.) Ai signed. When they entered the apartment, Ai proceeded immediately to the study room, expecting to see Renni in the room. 'Mama?' Ai thought as she opened the door. Sadness came into her when she realised the room was empty.


"What. . . What was it?" Risa asked as she stood awkwardly in the middle of the living room.


Ai shook her head as she bit her lips. She closed the door of the study room and joined Risa back in the living room. (No one's here. I guess Eri-san had gone to work.)


"I - I thought so too." Risa spoke.


Ai looked queerly at Risa. She had noticed Risa's awkwardness. (Can I ask for another selfish request?)


Risa nodded her head immediately again, looking intensely into Ai's eyes, waiting for the request Ai had.


(Can you stop thinking you in debt to me? Can you forget the fact that Papa took as his daughter instead of me? Will you?)


"That - that was more than 1 . . ." Risa stuttered.


(That's my point. You are not you without your smile. I miss your smile.)


"I - " Risa was shocked for words. She could not find any words that would express how she felt.


(Is it that . . . you no longer felt the same way you . . . used to?) Ai signed with fear.


Risa shook her head in an instance. "NO! I still . . . " Risa blurted out loudly before continuing in a soft voice. "I still feel the same way."


(Can you . . . hold me then?) Ai signed as she looked away, with redness running across her cheek.


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"Why are you still here? Lunch time is going to be over soon." Eri asked as she laid on Miki's shoulder, with one of Miki's hand encircling her waist.


"Are you going to be okay alone? I can asked Nakazawa-san for a half day leave if you want me to keep you accompanied." Miki replied as she ran her free along the ends of Eri's hair.


"I should be okay being alone. I think Nakazawa-san will needs you more than I need. It's only her alone in the clinic." Eri answered.


"Are you sure?" Miki continued asking.


Eri nodded her head, causing Miki to release her hold on Eri. "I will see you tomorrow then." Miki said as she leaned forward to kiss Eri on her lips. Just at the same moment, Retora exited the private ward, leaving the three person standing in an awkward silence.


"I will see you tomorrow, Miki." Eri broke the silence and urged Miki to leave.


Retora sat down beside Eri after Miki left. "Your . . . girlfriend?" Retora asked as he stared forward into the empty space, and not looking at Eri.


"Yes . . . " Eri answered quietly and shyly.


"I see. . . " Retora responded as he nodded his head. "How long have you know the truth, Kamei-chan." Retora continued asking.


"Just about a week, Oji-san." Eri answered.


"How did you know her?" Retora asked, knowing that Eri knew who he was talking about.


"She's my patient. You should know why she is visiting me for consultation." Eri added on, hoping that that would get some respond out of Retora.


"I do know, Kamei-chan." Retora nodded his head. "How . . .how has she been?"


"So Oji-san do care about her." Eri stated cynically, not answering the question posted by Retora.


"I - "


"I think she's surviving better than what you thought she would be." Eri interrupted, this time round with a more polite attitude.


"I'm glad so then." Retora let of a deep sigh. "Do you know where is she now?"


"What are you going to do?" Eri asked guardedly, narrowing her eyebrow in the process.

'What am I going to do now? I failed as a grandson in maintaining the family business. And all want to do now is to make up what I had failed miserably in.' Retora thought in his mind. "Bring her back to the family."


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Risa made herself comfortable on the couch with Ai sitting on her legs. 'It must be a dream to have this happen.' Risa thought as she hugged Ai tightly at her waist. "Thank you . . ." Risa whispered in Ai's ears.


(I should be the one saying thank you.) Ai signed.


"Hmmm?" Risa puzzled. She had not seen what Ai signed as she could not see Ai's front. That caused Ai to slipped down from Risa's lap and down on the couch.


(I said I should be the one saying thank you.) Ai signed again, with her eyes locking lovingly with Risa's.


Risa leaned herself closer into Ai and pulled a few strands of loose hair off Ai's face and behinds Ai's ears. Ai could feel her face burning as the soft touch of Risa's fingers touched her face. "Can I?" Risa asked in a low voice. Ai nodded her head shyly as she closed her eyes, waiting for the soft contact on her lips to come. And it did. It was soft and sweet.


"AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" A high pitched scream interrupted the kiss, resulted in a lower one continuing.


"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!" Risa screamed.


Ai opened her eyes and saw Eri standing by the door, with her eyes wide open.


"What are the two of you doing in MY apartment?" Eri retorted as she open the door wider, revealing the tall figure of Retora.


"Papa?" Risa called out as she shoot up from her position on the couch.


'Papa?' Ai thought in her mind as she squirmed behind Risa instinctively.


"Risa? " Retora called out. "Ai - chan" He hesitated for a short moment before calling out the second name.


Ai nodded her head lightly at the call of her name.


"Good! It saves all the trouble that I will need to go through." Eri continued as she began to pull both Risa and Ai away from the couch and shoved the both of them into the study. She then turn to Retora and said. "Oji-san, you can talk to the both of them inside. Oba-san's handbag is in that room as well," With that, she pushed Retora lightly into the room and slamed the door close. 'This would be the end, finally.'


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The three people in the study room looked at each other awkwardly, with Ai still hiding behind the slightly taller girl and Retora, settled down on the sofa bed. Ai poked Risa from the back, reminding Risa the first selfish request Ai had asked from her.


"Papa . . . I am sorry." Risa broke the silence as she spoke, with her face facing downwards to the floor. "I'm sorry for leaving . . . It was me who had caused the company downfall. I'm sorry. But I will make up for it. "


"It's alright, Risa. I had thought about it too. I'm thinking about ending the corporation." Retora interrupted. "I'm thinking about retiring from the work as well."


"What?" Risa looked up from the floor and made the first eye contact with her 'father'.


Ai shot her eyes wide open as she heard the sentence her father spoke.


"I'm sorry for causing so much misery in both of your life." Retora continued.


Ai shook her head immediately. 'It's not your fault.'


"But papa, the company is your life. You always say that is the greatest thing Oojii-san had gave you. How can you give it up, just like this?" Risa asked.


"There's no point retrieving it. I do not want to cause more misery in any of you two's life. Not anymore. This would be a good lesson for myself." Retora explained vaguely as he opened up Renni's handbag and took the familiar photo out. "Come over" Retora ordered.


Ai would not move. She said at her same position behind Risa. Risa turned around and faced Ai. "Didn't you say that you have the courage to face the past?" Risa asked as she bulged Ai and pushed her forward.


"You have not changed at all. The eye and the cheek." Retora commented as he compared the current Ai with the one in the photo.


Risa poked Ai's back lightly, causing Ai to frown in a cute way. She knew what Risa was asking her to do. Brushing away the senses of fear, Ai opened her mouth. "Paa. . . Paa. . ."


Retora looked up from the photo at looked at Ai. The light in the room caused the tears in his eyes to sparkle.


(I never blamed you.) Ai signed quickly.


"She said she never blamed you." Risa interpreted immediately, to prevent any confusion of the dad.


Retora nodded his head at the interpretation. "Thank you." Retora muttered. He placed the photo into Renni's handbag and stood up from the sofa bed. "Let's go home together. Risa too." Retora continued as he gave a pat on both Ai and Risa's head and walked towards the door. "I'm going back to the hospital now."


"Why are you going back to the hospital? Why are you in the hospital in the first place?" Risa asked.


"Mama is in the hospital." Retora informed.


Ai's eye shot open. 'WHY?' Her expression showed everything. (I want to visit Mama.) Ai signed to Risa.


"We want to go with you, Papa." Risa informed.


"I don't think they would allow so many of us to stay in the ward. It's nothing serious. She should be able to be discharged from the hospital in 2 days time. Then, we will all go home together." Retora spoke as he open the door. "If you all want to, visit her tomorrow morning. It's getting late now. It would be better if you two just stay her.e" Retora finished and took a first step out of the room.


"Papa wait!" Risa called out as she got herself beside Retora. The fact that Retora had decided to give up on the company still bothered her."I will go back to Niigaki Corporation to work. I won't let it fall. I had owe you too much. It's my fault that had led to the current state of the company. I won't let it fall." Risa stated stubbornly.



"Risa." Retora pat Risa's head once more. "Thank you. I should really leave now. Mama's waiting for me." With that, Retora walked past the living room, where Eri was sitting on the couch with her arms crossed, and left the apartment. As soon as the main door clicked closed, Eri clapped her hands loudly to get the attention of the two in the study room


"Alright, it's now my turn to scold people. Come over." Eri spoke clearly and loudly as she remained where she was.


Ai slipped her hands into Risa's and allowed Risa to bring her to the living room. When the two of them stood before Eri, Eri began to get up from her position on the couch and walked to the back of the both of them. Using her bare hand, she smacked the back of Risa's head lightly. "Ouch!" Risa whimpered.


"The two of you, really is the best made partner for each other." Eri started. "Well, you two are fated to be together, definitely. But can the two of you, stop running away when there's trouble brewing? I'm tired of clearing the mess, especially yours, Risa." Eri pouted as she made her way back to the front and crossed her arms again. "I have not gotten back to the packing up issue of the hotel room, Risa." Eri grunted. "So today, I am the boss! I am ordering the two of you to pack up my house before you two leave for Kyoto, and make me a good meal for the rest of the two days. If it's not satisfactory, you all are not going back. I'm going to tell Oji-san that I will keep the two of you here, until I'm satisfied with what I got. Understand?" Eri finished.


"Understood." Risa nodded her head before leaning forward towards Eri's ear and whispered in it. "And to think that you say I am childish. Look who's being childish here."


"Niigaki Risa!" Eri grunted and attempted to smack Risa, only that Risa had already made her move into the kitchen.


"You cannot catch me!" Risa sang before disappearing into the kitchen.


"Argh!" Eri sounded.


(Eri-san.) Ai waved her hand before Eri to get her attention.


"Yes, Ai-san?"


"Aa-Rii-Gaa-Toouu." Ai said with a smile on her face before following Risa into the kitchen.


A wide grin ran across Eri's face. 'SHE SPOKE!'


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Ai woke up when the first light shone into the study room. 'First time in 18 years, I had actually slept passed 316 am.' Ai thought in her mind. She placed her hands above the ones that were holding her tightly on her waist and looked up at Risa. She closed herself in and placed a small soft peck on Risa's lips.


Risa, Thank you


Because of you, I have found the meaning of home


Because of you, the silence of my life is finally broken


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AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's the end! And I AM SO HAPPY! I can finally put a full stop on this story (Literal translation from my mother tongue) hahaha Coming up next is a long blabbering of mine + credits :)


I was determined to finished this and post this on the May 18 :)



Credits:
First thing first, the songs that I put on repeat when I write.

1. 飘零燕 Lonely swallows by Twins. Like I had mentioned in the some chapters back. This song was the main contribution of the story's idea. This song's actually written for orphans, describing the orphans as the lonely swallows - the idea of abandonment, the looking of home. You should listen to song when reading the part when Risa is a step nearer to her past.


Lyrics translation:
In the past, I used to hold tight to her arms
In all my childhood, She always tuck me in bed with a kiss me
Too bad one day, She actually packed up her luggage, leaving me all alone


And there will be someday, where the swallow will leave its home, spreading its wings and fly in the sky
Being lost for that its unable to see its parents on its journey
And that it have to fool itself that its family wasn't broken in the first place.


And now leaving me all alone
Learning how to fly strongly, that's something I've gained
However whenever I'm tired, whenever I feel like crying
How I wish that my parents would hold me tight, Like how they used to do


The lost lonely swallow wants to go home
But, It's all covered with snow, all covered with cold
Landing on where, where could be considered home
I need to struggle my wings
Getting use to the loneliness, flying in this long lonesome trip back


Flying up and high into the sky, I will fear, I will be cold
Still holding back the lost childhood memories
Withstanding alone all the tribulations met
Though that, I would still miss her as I grow older


Guys . . . Could give me love and affections
But I will still doubt whether could we get along together
How many lovers out there, who can be sure that the love will never fade, will never end?


And I prayed with all my heart for all the little swallows
Will be able to live a life with worries, where their parents will provide them with the warmth during the cold nights
Without missing anyone in the family, without any disputes


And now leaving me all alone
Learning how to fly strongly, that's something I've gained
However whenever I'm tired, whenever I feel like crying
How I wish that my parents would hold me tight, Like how they used to do


The lost lonely swallow wants to go home
But, It's all covered with snow, all covered with cold
Landing on where, where could be considered home
You need to struggle my wings
Getting use to the loneliness, flying in this long lonesome trip back


Flying up and high into the sky, I will fear, I will be cold
Still holding back the lost childhood memories
Withstanding alone all the tribulations met
Though that, I would still miss her as I grow older


The lost lonely swallow wants to go home
But, It's all covered with snow, all covered with cold
Landing on where, where could be considered home
You need to struggle my wings
Getting use to the loneliness, flying in this long lonesome trip back


Flying up and high into the sky, I will fear, I will be cold
Still holding back the lost childhood memories
Withstanding alone all the tribulations met
Though that, I would still miss her as I grow older
You have already grown up, being about to return home on your own
You can what's your future be, and you can fly back, even in the night of cold.


The translation is a little bit choppy - some of it are straight direct translation, so yeah =X


2. 幼稚园 Kindergarten by Twins.

The idea of the clock was from this song. it was something like : As the clock goes tick tock tick tock, the sound of the school bell had rang, I wonder why my hands had trembled.

Basically, the song is talking about being a child, having to grow through the process of growing up. When you are young, you always have the habit to go back to your parents, whenever you met trouble, sadness. Having grown up, there will be some time where you wished you are still like a kindergarten kid, don't you? - That's the gist of the song.


3. しょうがない夢追い人 Shouganai Yume Oibito by Morning Musume


My favourite MM Song. Never fails to save me when I'm stuck with the story.


4. There You'll be by Faith Hill

Another song that kept me on a writing spree. :)


And there are lots and lots more to list, but these four are the more significant ones, for that I had took points and idea from the song.


From my song 1 and 2, you could possibly guessed what was my previous fandom and the original characters for this story, and that leads to the reason for me wanting to finish this story on May 18. This is because, May 18 2001 was the date of formation of Twins, celebrating their 10 years of friendship together (Same as the awesome TakaGaki  :lol:_) Even though I had grew out the fandom for nearly 4 years, May 18 always just pop up in my mind. Not that I'm remembering it on purpose. It would be like "Oh, it's May 18 today! It's Twins' formation day today" hahah. And that's the reason for me to end this story at this date. And the idea of identity change (i.e. Ai's father left Ai and made Gaki his daughter) came from the idea of Twins. So. . .


I kinda screwed up the part on identity in this story. For that there's no reason to allow Risa to retain her own name after she lost her memory (become Niigaki's daughter). In the original version, I stated right from the story that Char will be Gil and Gil will be Char, thus not having this problem. The main characters in the second version (english version which I had written 9 chapters last year) had the same first name - not a problem. When I posted this version, this question did not come into my mind until in the middle of the story. So . .. That's one main flawed point of this story. Putting that aside, I guess . . . hmmm. . .


Lastly, I would like to thank my JC GP department for organising this GP camp for students who barely passed O level English. Without this GP camp, I would not be able to come up with this idea at all. During the camp, we went to this organisation which provides training for the disabled (both physically disabled and mentally disabled personnel. And there, they gave us a talk about what they do to ensure the disabled gets employed and not being discriminated in the workforce nor being abuse. It made me stop and think about the kind of issues they will face, the kind of mental state, how they feel about the world view of them, how would they react, what could be the cause of their disability. It made me realised that there are more people than you expect are always subjected to these kind of situation. And what can we do as a human? What can we do to help? And that - leads to the issue of mutism of the main character.

This can be considered my first story that I had finished without having to decide on how's the ending would be like, so I had met various different problem as I wrote. But I'm glad I had overcame it! :) And I'm glad to put this



And if you are still reading this part, I really THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

I do have plans to translate my first finished story (Which was written when I was 15 - when I read back that , it's so childish) and plan for a long one shot. But all these won't be coming soon, as I would like to focus on my final exams which is just less than a month time and I had yet to start any revision on it (what a bad student am I)


AND LASTLY!
THANK YOU FOR ALL WHO HAD TOOK THEIR TIME TO READ AND TO COMMENT! IT'S A HUGE THANKS OVER HERE!
« Last Edit: May 17, 2011, 06:54:08 PM by caiyunki »

Offline rndmnwierd

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And it all comes together. I'm kinda sad to see this end, as I really enjoyed reading all the emotional twists and turns, but at the same time, I'm glad that Takagaki finally got their lovely ending. Everyone's happy, yay!


So, what are you writing next? ;)

Offline shenlog

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yay!! a happy ending  :twothumbs :twothumbs :twothumbs
I love this fic and I hope you'll write another one in future  :bow: :bow:

Offline Tchips

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Thank YOU!! This story is the only positive thing I found in my life for the last 2 weeks or so. I went on your thread every morning to read it (when there was an update, that is ^^ )

I didn't post much but I really apreciated reading your story. I even recommended it to a friend of mine. If you ever feel like writing again I'll be there to read it.
Thank you again for taking the time to write/translate it. Really good work! :pen_whirl:

"Aa-Rii-Gaa-Toouu." as they say :thumbsup

Breaking them is a crime!

Offline SarangAi

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ahhh finally, it's over!  kinda bittersweet how it's over... such a good story...  :twothumbs

the ending is really cute.  and good to see Retora realizing his mistakes, FINALLY  :smhid

But TakaGaki stays together!!! YAY  :cow: :cow:

but confused about one thing...
So if Ai and Risa are both going to stay with their parents/adopted parents, then doesn't that make them legally step sisters?  which means, even though they're not blood-related, they can't legally stay together?  :cry:

Or is Risa staying a Niigaki and Ai staying a Takahashi so legally, it's okay?  XD

Or maybe you're just leaving that question untouched for a reason and I'm thinking to much  :nervous

anyway, amazing debut work!  Can't wait to see more from you!!!  :wub: :wub:

avii&sig by the wonderful kawaii beam~!

Offline astro18

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YAAAAH!!  :on gay: Happy ending :farofflook:

I'm so glad that Ai gets her parents and Risa back :shy1: OH AND HER VOICE!! :onionwhip:

And Mikitty got her girl :mikilaugh:

Gahh I was excited there was an update and then when you said "full stop" I thought you weren't gonna finish the fic! :stoned:

I'm glad you finished it :nervous Thanks! :bow:
« Last Edit: May 18, 2011, 12:24:51 AM by astro18 »

Offline kano-chan

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She finally spoke!!! :w00t: :D loll @ the awkward moments when the two couples were kissing with Retora around. :lol: XD

I guess he's fine with his two daughters going out then. :roll:

TAKAGAKI FINALLY TOGETHER! :wub: Great happy ending~ :twothumbs

Offline oddball

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Ahh, what a nice ending to this Fic, Ai spoke and she and Risa found each other in the end, Also I am glad that Retora finally figured out what really mattered to him and who the really important people were in his life.

seems as though Miki got what she wanted in the end too!  :lol:

Offline Shiawase_Honoo

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Thanks for your hard working, Otsukanon! :)
The happy ending is always great :wub:

Offline kawaii beam

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i finally decided to de-lurkmyself! XD i started reading this when i didnt have my laptop^^;

i loved your story and it had so many times where i was wondering what was gonna happen next X3 i cant wait to read what your next story will be X3 :deco:
please visit kawaii-chan's avie's and siggies!

Offline caiyunki

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Hihi Everyone! Thank you for commenting!! It really makes me happy :) hehehe and therefore, i had decided to take some time off my uni work and reply these comments, in showing my appreciation for the support you peeps had gave! ^.^

@ rndmnwierd : It kinda hits me too . .. *sad* as I realised that i had spent majority of my time in the past month thinking what am I suppose to write, how the details should be and stuffs, It's kinda a place of refuge when I'm stuck with yucky assignments. And now that it's done . . .I kinda felt empty yah. But i'm glad that you enjoyed it! Thank you for making the effort to comment on every chapter! It's very much appreciated :)

Anyway, about what am I going to write next? Hehehehe. I have a few unfinished stories that I would like to finish writing, the first story that I actually completed writing (to translate) on my hand. I haven't decide what to do . . . But I do have an urge to write something that is related to what I am studying right now. So depends on the situation and stuffs. . .

@ shenlog : THANK YOU! I'm glad that you liked the fic ^.-

@ Tchips : Hello! I should thank you as well for reading! :) and I'm happy to hear that it's positive! I myself initially thought that it would be meaningful, but as i got more into writing, I realised that instead of trying to bring out the meaningfulness and positiveness, the story is relatively depressing. hahaha. I guess . . . I have something for depressing storylines. Hmmmm. It's alright for not posting much. ^.^ as long as people is reading, I'm content :) heheh And thank you for recommending it to your friend! hehehe :) I hope that your friend liked it as well :)

@ SarangAi : THANK YOU!! :) hehehe Regarding that, I had Risa staying as Niigaki and Ai staying as Takahashi legally in my mind, so . . . . Good question raised! hehehhe :)

@ astro18 : hehehe I love the meaning of Full Stop. It means The End, so trying to creative for once, I wanted to put Full stop on the title instead of completed. hhehehehhe And yes, Miki got her girl! :D And lastly, Thank you for reading!

@ kano-chan : I was laughing like crazy at the awkward situations when I wrote them as well. hahah. Thank you too for taking the effort to comment every chapter! I really appreciate it. HEHEH.

@ oddball : HELLO! :) THANK YOU THANK YOU :) hehehe

@ Shiawase_Honoo : A big thanks to you as well! Glad that you liked the ending ^.-

@ kawaii beam : Thank you for delurking yourself. And thank you for reading and loving this fic. ARIGATOU GOZAIMASHITA!


And LASTLY, A HUGE THANKS TO EVERYONE OF YOU HERE, :) heheheh

 

Offline Bamtai

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Great ending for a great story!!!!  :cow:  :cow:  :cow: I'm so happy that Risa and Ai finally got each other and that Ai finally found her voice  :heart: :heart: :heart: Couldn't be any happier  :deco:

Offline dan77

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waaa,,,,,, this is my first post n also my first fan fiction ! XD
my friend rocommend this story for me, and it is a REALLY GREAT TOUCHING STORY !
love this story so much ! TakaGaki is just sweet~ and KameMiki  :wub:
This story makes me started to addicted to fanfic now.. lol
GREAT imagination there inside your head..   :twothumbs

Offline caiyunki

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@ Bamtai : A super late reply for you!!! THANK YOU FOR ENJOYING THE STORY!!! AND TOO, FOR SUPPORTING! I'm glad that you liked SEARCH as well :) heheheheh

@ dan77 : Congrads and Welcome!! hehehehe. ..hehehe . I'm glad that you loved this story. This could be said, one of my fav stories as well :) heheh . There's many other more good ffs and ffs writers out there! Do check it out! And I'm really glad that you had enjoy this piece of writing!! THANK YOU !!! :) hehehehhe Help me say thanks to your friend as well, for recommending this story to you ^.^ hehehehhee

Offline Sora-chan

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Wow this story is gold!! Very good. :) Im speechless right now with this big dumb grin on my face! haha..Its Just really good. <3
Tanakame!<3333 ReinAi<333 TanaGaki!<33 TakaGaki!<33 TanaShige!<33 AiSayu!<3 JunSayu!<33 SayuKoha!<3 AiEri<3

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