Shoko's skits and other random stuff part TWO [Latest Parody: Aika]

[Shoko]

I think I already have a thread like this but OH WELL

(by the way Yuko is the narrator)

Koharu and the Wolf

Once upon a time
I think it was last Thursday
A girl named Koharu opened the gate
And went out into the big green meadow

On the branch of a big tree sat a little bird
"All is quiet," said the bird, who was actually Eri in Miki's infamous Pigeon costume from Hello! Morning
"Holy cow, a talking bird!" thought Koharu

Just then, Reina the Duck came waddling by
Reina was very happy that Koharu hadn't closed the gate
And she decided to check out the deep pond in the meadow

Eri the Bird saw the Duck
So she decided to fly down
And pick an argument with her

"What kind of bird are you if you can't fly?" she said
To which the Duck cleverly replied
"I'm a duck, stupid"

They argued and argued
The Duck swimming in the pond
The little bird skipping along the shore

Suddenly, something caught Koharu's eye
And you know how painful that can be
It was Sayumi the Cat crawling through the grass

Sayumi the Cat thought, "If the Bird is busy arguing, I'll just grab her"
So, quietly, Sayumi crept towards her on her velvet paws
Well, her paws weren't really velvet
They were, you know, kind of like velvet
It's a, what do you call it
Uh, a metaphor
It's a metaphor, get it

Look out, look out, look out
Look out, look out, look out
Look out, look out, look out
Advised Koharu

The bird immediately flew up into the tree
While Reina the Duck quacked at Sayumi the Cat
From the middle of the pond

Sayumi the Cat walked around the tree and thought
"Is it worth climbing up so high
Or should I just send out for sushi"

Yossie came out
She was all bent out of shape
Because Koharu had gone into the meadow

"It's a dangerous place
If a Wolf should come out of the forest
Then what would you do, huh"
Koharu did not answer because, after all
It was a rhetorical question

Girls like Koharu are afraid of a lot of things
Like broccoli and getting fired
But they're not afraid of wolves

But Yossie got Koharu in a headlock
And dragged her back to the apartment telling her that she was grounded
And that she couldn't watch any anime for three weeks

Just then, as luck would have it
A big, mean, hairy, ferocious, snarling, carnivorous Wolf
Did come out of the forest

But I guess we all knew that was coming
I mean, the story is called "Koharu and the Wolf"

We couldn't very well call it "Koharu and the Wolf"
If there wasn't any Wolf, could we
Huh, that would be really stupid

The Cat was up the tree in a twinkling
Which is about, oh, 2.3 seconds
Reina the Duck quacked so hard
That she propelled herself backwards and up onto dry land

For those of you taking notes
This is a fine practical example of Newton's First Law of Motion
Which clearly states that for every action
There is an equal and opposite reaction

But no matter how quickly Reina tried to waddle away
She couldn't escape Miki the Wolf
Who was wearing her best pair of tennis shoes

The Wolf was closing in on the Duck
It was getting closer and closer and closer
And then, and then

She got her, she got her
Oh no, oh, it was terrible
Oh, oh I can't believe it, oh
The humanity, the humanity
Oh my God, ah-ho, oh

And then with one big gulp
Eri wolfed her down
*burp*

Um, let me recap the story briefly
In case you just walked into the room
Sayumi the Cat was sitting on one branch
Eri the Bird was on another branch
Not too close to Sayumi
And Risa the Janitor was at home defrosting her refrigerator

The Wolf walked around the tree so many times
That she made a small trench

Meanwhile, Koharu was standing behind the closed gate
Videotaping everything that was going on

Suddenly Koharu got an idea
She ran back to the apartments and got a big spool of Yossie's unwaxed dental floss

One of the branches of the tree that the Wolf was circling
Was conveniently stretched out over a high stone wall

Koharu scaled the wall lickity-split
Which is even faster than a twinkling
Then she grabbed the branch and climbed onto the tree

Koharu said to Eri the Bird, "I want you to fly down
And circle around the Wolf's head to distract him
But be very careful he doesn't catch you and bash your skull in
And tear out your lungs and chew you up
Into itsy-bitsy teeny-tiny little pieces"

"Okay" said the bird

Eri the Bird almost touched the Wolf's head with her wings
While the Wolf snapped angrily at her
"Go ahead," said the Wolf
"Make my day"

"Come on, cut it out," snarled the Wolf
"You're asking for trouble, yankii"
But Eri the Bird just kept on harassing her

Meanwhile, Koharu made a lasso out of the dental floss
And, carefully letting it down
Caught the Wolf by the tail and pulled with all his might

Feeling herself caught, the Wolf got really ticked off
And started jerking back and forth

Koharu tied the other end of the dental floss to the tree
And left the Wolf dangling in mid-air
"Hey, Big Bad Wolf," said Koharu
"Why don't you come up here and get us now?"
"I would," said the Wolf
"But, well, I'm kinda tied up right now"

Just then, some members of UFA came out of the woods
Firing their magnums, oozies, and bazookas

But Koharu yelled "Don't shoot
Eri the Bird and I have caught the Wolf
Now, let's take her to the Zoo"
"Great idea," said the management
"And if she likes that
Next week we'll take her to Disneyland"

Just imagine the victory parade
Koharu was at the head
*flush*
But after a few minutes she was through
And then the parade began with Koharu at the very front

After her, the management, leading Miki the Wolf
Then Yossie and Sayumi the Cat
And finally, Risa the janitor
Who had to sweep up the whole mess

Yossie shook her head discontentedly
"Well, Koharu, what if you hadn't caught the Wolf?
What then"
"Well," said Koharu
"She probably would have ripped out my intestines with her teeth - or just groped me. Whatever came first."
*choking* said Grandfather
"I know that, you idiot
It was a rhetorical question"

Above them, Eri the Bird chirped proudly
"Yeah, that's right
We bad, we bad"

Yossie decided that she'd had enough of the pond
And the meadow and the whole stinking scene
So she graduated and joined Avex

And what about Reina the Duck
Well, the Wolf had been in such a hurry
That she swallowed her alive
Which means the gastric juices slowly dissolved his body
And she died a long, painful death

However, you'll be happy to hear
That, just a few years later, she was reincarnated
As George W Bush

And the moral of the story is

Oral hygiene is very important
Make sure you see your dentist at least twice a year!

[FeverInducedMadness]

hahahahahaha. That was so random.

But I can totally imagine Yuko getting all of the H!P Kids (can we even call them that anymore? Only a few of them are really kids anymore) to sit around her on the floor while she tells them the story.

[Shoko]

At least someone cares

C-ute's Next Single - No, this isn't Sakura Chirari.

C-ute: HERE'S OUR NEW SINGLE ABOUT LOVE AND STUFF EVEN THOUGH WE'RE JUST KIDS
Airi: Random solo verse!
Nakasaki and Kanna: We don't get any lines but watch us dance!
Erika: I'm the oldest I should get more lines dammit
Maimi: BUT ERIKA WE SHARE LINES ISN'T THAT GREAT
Maimai: lol Erika you're almost as old as Nakazawa-san
Erika: STFU you no-good loli :<
Airi: Look at me, I can dance, sing and look cute at the same time! BE JEALOUS MORNING MUSUME
Chisato: YEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAH etc
C-ute: Chorus!
*instrumental part*
Tsunku: *v/o* Maimai.. I am your father
Maimai: NOOOOOOOO--- I mean, WOW =D?
The others: *doing some retarded dance in the background*
Airi: Random solo verse
Tsunku: Evil laugh muwahahah
Maimai: Wtf D: I mean, um, NAME OF SONG =D?
Chisato: WOWOWOWOWOW etc
Nakasaki and Kanna: *still don't get any lines*
Erika: Something about love!
Maimi: I LOVE YOU TOO ERIKA
Airi: lol don't steal my lines plz D:
Maimai: Spoken part!
Nakasaki and Kanna: LOL LOOK AT US DANCE
Erika: Something else about love!
Maimi: ERIKA YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT US RIGHT
Erika: Maybe. I mean, um.. TAKE IT AWAY AIRI
Airi: I MAY BE A LINE HOG BUT THE WOTA LOVE ME SO IT'S OKAYZ
Maimai: Even though I'm jailbait, I DON'T CARE
Chisato: *is forgotten*
C-ute: LET'S ALL LOVE EACH OTHER EVEN THOUGH WE'RE STILL KIDS LOL
Erika: Love etc
Maimi: ERIKA I LOVE YOU CAN WE BOTH GRADUATE LIKE MEGUMI
Erika: lol no
Maimi: BUT ERIKA YOU ARE THE PEANUT BUTTER TO MY JELLY
Maimai: Watch my 1337 skillz0rz
Chisato: Oh Mai <3
Nakasaki and Kanna: But we want to be loved too
Erika: Not my fault D:
Maimi: TOO BAD.
Airi: LOOK AT ME MR CAMERA
Maimi: ERIKA. YOU. ME. BED. NOW.
Erika: THE END LOL

[freya86]

Maimai: lol Erika you're almost as old as Nakazawa-san
Erika: STFU you no-good loli :<

Tsunku: *v/o* Maimai.. I am your father
Maimai: NOOOOOOOO--- I mean, WOW =D?

Erika: Something else about love!
Maimi: ERIKA YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT US RIGHT
Erika: Maybe. I mean, um.. TAKE IT AWAY AIRI

C-ute: LET'S ALL LOVE EACH OTHER EVEN THOUGH WE'RE STILL KIDS LOL

Erika: Love etc
Maimi: ERIKA I LOVE YOU CAN WE BOTH GRADUATE LIKE MEGUMI
Erika: lol no
Maimi: BUT ERIKA YOU ARE THE PEANUT BUTTER TO MY JELLY

Maimi: ERIKA. YOU. ME. BED. NOW.
Erika: THE END LOL

:ROTFLMAO:

OMG, this was so hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sooo sooo good!!!

[rndmnwierd]

Reina the Duck quacked so hard
That she propelled herself backwards and up onto dry land

Maimi: ERIKA. YOU. ME. BED. NOW.
Erika: THE END LOL

My favorite lines, but still, wtf.

[Kyobu]

Nice!

[Shoko]

Semi-bump!

GAM: Confessions Part III (parody of Weird Al's Confessions Part III, which is a parody of Usher's Confessions Part II)

"Aya! Wait up!" called out Miki.
"What is it, dear?" asked Aya, smiling.
"These are my confessions." said Miki. "Just when I thought I said all I can say, I came up with more secrets to tell you today!"
"You don't really need to, Tan.." said Aya.
"Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me!" Miki laughed nervously. "So now I gotta give you part three of my confessions!"
"No-- you don't have to--"
"First I told you about the skank that I was cheatin' with." Miki said, reading off a long piece of paper.
"Who? Yossie-san?"
"Then I mentioned she's having my kid."
"Is that even possible?"
"That's not all," Miki pressed on, ignoring Aya. "Now I recall more, you see, so now I'll give you part three of my confessions."
"Tan--"
"Now this going be the hardest thing I think I ever had to do," Miki continued, taking a deep breath. "Gonna tell you everything I left out of parts one and two."
"But, Tan!"
"Like, remember when I told you that Tsunku-san was a whore? That's a lie, I don't know what I said that for."
"He probably is anyway, though.."
"I borrowed your ChapStick from you- without asking," Miki acted as though Aya wasn't there. "
Oh, and I tried out your nose hair trimmer too."
"But I don't /have/ a nose hair trimmer.."
"And by the way, that "diamond" ring is cubic zirconium"
"It was still thoughtfull of you!"
"I killed your goldfish accidentally, just replaced it with another one"
"P-chan?"
"These are my confessions. Just when I thought I said all I can say, I need to get some things off my chest right away"
"No you don't!"
"These are my confessions. Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me!Now I guess I gotta give you part three of my confessions!"
"Tan, stop it!"
"Threw up on your dog the last time I had too much to drink"
"What!?"
"There've been times I've peed in your sink"
"Ew.."
"Don't know why, but you and I should agree that blongs in part three of my confessions."
"Now, really, Tan--"
"Baby forgive me, I'm still trying to figure out," Miki was talking really fast now. "Why I used your toothbrush to clean off the bathroom grout"
"You did that!?"
"Oh, and sometimes in private, I really like to dress up like Koda Kumi and spank myself with a hockey stick..."
"Hot."
"Tsunku-san thinks I'm a jerk. I didn't get that raise."
"It doesn't matter!"
"I haven't changed my underwear in 27 days."
"...."
"And when I'm kissing you I fantasize you're a midget."
"I'm not.. short.."
"I'm so sorry Eri- I mean Aya."
"Eri? Eri who?"
"These are my confessions." said Miki again. "Just when I thought I said all I can say, I got a few more secrets I'd like to convey."
"Stop, Tan!"
"Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me!" Miki laughed nervously again. "So now I gotta give you part three of my confessions!"
"You do not!"
"Gave you buttered toast I dropped and picked up off the floor"
"But my floor's clean!"
"FYI, it was not a cold sore."
"It wasn't?"
"Whoops, my bad!" said Miki innocently. "You'll be madder at me when I finish part three of my confessions"
"I'm not mad, Tan!"
"You don't know how hard it is for me to tell you this" continued Miki. "But you remember that shirt you got me for my birthday?"
"That pink one?"
"Well, I returned it for store credit." she said flatly. "That thing was hideous; what were you thinking?"
"You--"
"Oh, by the way, I wasn't really sick last week" Miki was now looking very serious. "I just didn't want to go to your stupid office picnic."
"It was kinda boring anyway."
"Oh, and when I told you at breakfast we were all out of Rice Krispies?" she added. "What I meant was, there was only enough left for me, sorry."
"Coco Pops are better..."
"These are my confessions." Miki sighed. "Just when I thought I said all I can say, I thought of some more things that should scare you away."
"But I'm still here!"
"Slipped my mind the last two times, silly me!" Miki laughed nervously cone more. "So now I gotta give you part three of my confessions!"
"Tan!"
"Once I blew my nose and then I wiped it on your cat"
"Poor thing.."
"And I lied - yes, that dress makes you look fat."
"It'd look better on you."
"Anyway, I shouldn't say anymore 'til I give you part four of my confessions."
"DARN RIGHT YOU SHOULDN'T!" shouted Aya, storming off.
"Honey?" Miki looked up from the list. "What? Was it something I said?"

[magicnumber]

oh.... SHIT.........

I thought, "Oh no" the moment I started reading. Then I cracked up at: "P-chan?" and then I died and kept on dying.

Thank you so much, you crazy, crazy person . this brightened up my day, er, night. And the sad thing is I actually like that song xD

[Mikan]

AHAHAHA!!

Nothing warms you up faster than a good chortle and a story about GAM.  I love your skits like fanboys love Miki.

I might take up ur parody offer...but first...i want to think...

[DO Me DO Me]

bwahaha, I heard that song before. hehe Sneaky, but it's still hilarious

[orangesocks]

  Ahhh, my sides hurt! This is brilliant!! 

Writing my stupid fic made me depressed, and this made me feel better!

[uverkuu]

 :hiakhiakhiak:that was crackin'!!!
omg i couldn't stop laughin'.
while i was reading this i keep thinking of the original song as BGM to the your lines.
 :imdead:CAUSE OF DEATH:too much laughin'

[Shoko]

Just doing my job

If anyone is ever having a hard day, just send me a PM and I'll send you a parody!

But seriously, glad you liked it. That's what I'm here for

Also, now it's time for some more GAM!

M = Miki
A = Aya

Miki (parody of Weird Al's Ricky, which is a parody of Tony Basil's Mickey. Very fitting

M: Hey Aya, I'm home

A: Oh Miki, you're so fine
A: You're so fine you blow my mind
A: Hey Miki, hey Miki

M: Oh Aya, you're so fine
M: You're so fine you blow my mind
M: Hey Aya, hey Aya

A: Oh Miki, you're so fine
A: You play your bongos all the time
A: Hey Miki, hey Miki

M: Oh Aya, you're so fine
M: How I love to hear you whine
M: Hey Aya

A: Hey Miki
A: You always play your conga drums, you think you got the right
A: You wake up little Miki in the middle of the night
A: Stop shakin' your maraccas now and just turn out the light Miki

M: I'm sick of Yuko and Yossie always comin' over here
M: 'Cause Yuko eats all our pretzel sticks and then she spills her beer
M: Why don't you serve your cassarole and make them disappear Aya

A: Oh Miki, what's a girl like me supposed to do
A: You really drive me wild when you sing your babaloo
M: Oh Aya, you're so dizzy, don't you have a clue
M: Well, here's to you Aya
M: I love you too Aya, too Aya, let's babaloo Aya

A: Hey Miki
A: You're always playin' at the club, you never let me go
A: I'm beggin' and I'm pleadin' but you always tell me no
A: Oh, please honey please, let me be in your show Miki, wah

M: You always burn the roast and you drop the dishes too
M: You iron my new shirt and you burn a hole right through
M: You're such a crazy redhead I just don't know what to do Aya

A: Oh Miki
A: What a pity, don't you understand
A: That every day's a rerun and the laughter's always canned
M: Oh Aya
M: I'm the latin leader of the band
M: So here's to you Aya
M: Let's babaloo Aya, too Aya
M: Everybody rumba!

[iacus]

I love your skits like fanboys love Miki.

SHOKO-SAMA PUNISH ME!!! *spins around in a circle*

Everything you've written so far has been chock full of distilled comic hilarity. Which is 50% stronger than normal comic hilarity. Which means I thought everything was really funny.
*runs away*

[Shoko]

Why thank you

eBay

A used ... Yossie bathrobe
A rare ... Miki snowglobe
A Kago ... TV tray
I bought on eBay

My house ... is filled with this crap
Shows up in bubble wrap
Most every day
What I bought on eBay

Tell me why (I need Takahashi's old pet rock)
Tell me why (I got that Kei alarm clock)
Tell me why (I bid on Tsunku's old toupee)
They had it on eBay

I'll buy ... your knick-knack
Just check ... my feedback
"A++!" they all say
They love me on eBay

Gonna buy (an Ayaya Golf bag)
Gonna buy (some Berryz Babies, new with tags)
(From some guy) I've never met in Norway
Found him on eBay

I am the type who is liable to snipe you
With two seconds left to go, whoa
Got Paypal or Visa, what ever'll please ya
As long as I've got the dough

I'll buy ... your Nacchi keys
Sell me ... your Eri watch, please
I'll buy (I'll buy, I'll buy, I'll buy ...)
I'm highest bidder

(Junk keeps arriving in the mail)
(From that worldwide garage sale) (Mini Moni ashtray)
(Hey! Mini Moni ashtray)
Oh yeah ... (I bought it on eBay)

Wanna buy (a Pucchi Moni lunchbox)
Wanna buy (a case of Risa tube socks)
Wanna buy (a Kleenex used by Dr. Maki)
(Found it on eBay)

Wanna buy (that Kimura Ayaka poster)
(Mari Pez dispensers and a Tanpopo toaster)
(Don't know why ... the kind of stuff you'd throw away)
(I'll buy on eBay)

What I bought on eBay-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y

[Mikan]

ahHA! Ebay!!!! I love ebay jokes!!!
*Spins around in a circle*
Shoko sama Shoko sama, punish me please!

[rndmnwierd]

Tanpopo toaster!!

[Shoko]

I'd buy it

Aika (parody of Werid Al's Spam.. don't worry, I still like her =D)


Aika in the place where I live (Risa and Miki)
Think about nutrition, wonder what's inside it now (oh boy)
Aika in my luchbox at work (it's the best)
Really makes a darn good singer any way you dance, girl

If you're running low, hold an audition
Carry some CDs, maybe you'll get in
The singer is there to hold the mic-ah
The mic is there to hold in the Aika

Oh, Aika on the table at home (Yossie and Ai)
Think about selection, are there different flavors now (let's eat)
Aika in my office at work (it's the best)
Think about the stuff its made from, wonder if it's mystery meat

If you need a spoon, keep one around
Carry a thermose to help wash it down
Now, if there's some left, don't just throw it out
Use it for spackle or bathroom grout, now

Aika in my pantry at home (have some more)
Think of expiration, better read the lable (oh boy)
Aika for breakfast, dinner, or lunch (it's the best)
Think about how it's been precooked, wonder if I'll just eat it cold

Now, once you start in, you can't put it down
Don't leave it sitting or it'll turn brown
The make-up is there to make it pretty
The make-up is there to keep Aika in

Oh, Aika (Aika)
Koharu and Reina
Think about nutrition, wonder what's inside it now (oh boy)
Aika (Aika)
It's the best
Really makes a darn good singer any way you dance, girl

Aika in the place where I live (have some more)
Think about addiction, wonder if I'm a wota now (let's eat)
Aika in the place where I work (you're obsessed)
Think about the way it's processed, wonder if it's some kind of meat

Aika in the back of my car (Sayumi and Eri)
Aika any place that you are (Risa and Miki)
The singer is there to hold the mic-ah (Aika any place that you are) (Yossie and Ai)
The mic is there to hold in the Aika (Aika any place that you are) (Koharu and Reina)
Oh Aika

[rndmnwierd]

...What?