Sorry for the long wait, I've been drowning in work and school work. I somehow got myself into a mess of working 120 hours in 2weeks... and I don't even remember how it happened.... Sigh. At least there is one thing I gotta love about working these graveyard hours
if nothing is happening, I can sit there and do my own things, like read or write
or do my assignments. So here we are the next part to Infinity, this took me a while to write up, I think I should stick more to writing fics with action
Infinity - III
~let's do what we want to do
we should just be our real selves
without thinking about the "if's"~We are of two worlds, you will never understand my pain like days will never understand the night, like the blazing sun with never understand the eclipse of the moon. We are like two sides of the world, like day and night, like sun and moon, never fully understanding the other side.
There is nothing wrong with our love, except this beautiful duet becomes tormenting, when we cannot fully harmonize. It's not your fault, its mine, I'm sorry. You tell me 'it's okay' every time I apologize, never really understanding the full extent of my words, I'm afraid your 'it's okay' will slowly shattered through time, like a flower that withers as the day passes by.
That night at Infinity...
I walked towards the stage, I can feel your eyes following my every movement. You told me you had a bad day, but even if you didn't tell me I can see it in your features. It took away the shine in your eyes, the hue in your lips, the ring in your voice and the sweet in your smile. I decided I wanted to cheer you up, so I gently lifted one of the acoustic guitars off the wall, pulled up a chair and fixed the mic, I glanced up to see your eyes on me. This performance is for you and only you, I didn't have to tell you because I believe you will hear the message.
*Audio for the song:
~Time...
I've been passing time watching trains go by,
All of my life...
Lying on the sand, watching seabirds fly
Wishing there would be
Someone waiting home for me...
Something's telling me it might be you
Yes it's telling me it might be you...
All of my life...
Looking back as lovers go walking past...
All of my life...
Wondering how they met and what makes it last
If I found the place
Would I recognize the face?
Something's telling me it might be you
Yeah it's telling me it might be you...
Oh oooooooo...
........
I've been waiting for all of my life~I don't know what came over me to sing this song but it felt fitting.
Our memories are built under the beautiful lights of Infinity, each time you visit me, each time we talk, each time we fall asleep on the phone listening to the sound of the steady breathing. Do you still remember that time when you asked for my number....
"Bye have a good night," I said while I watch you get up from your seat, just as I turn to clean my counter you called my name.
"Sae," I turned over to you again waiting for you to continue while you hesitated, "what is your number, let's trade contacts,"
I watched you lean on the counter, your phone already in hand waiting, but I never replied, it wasn't because I didn't want to, it's because I don't know how to. I could only flip over a cup coaster and have you leave me your number, with a promise to call you. I watched you leave 'Infinity' that night, disappointed.
It wasn't because I didn't want to exchange contact with you... it was because at that time, I didn't have a phone. I never needed one, until you came along. Your cup coaster is and will be the only one I ever keep, the way you wrote your name and my name, I can't help but admire it every day. You won't know this but the next morning I woke up bright and early, to get myself a phone, they even had me wait outside because I was there too early. It didn't take long but I ran all the way home just to dial in your number. The only number saved on my phone.
"Hello?" I heard your sleepy voice over the phone.
"Good morning, did I wake you? I'm sorry, didn't realize the time," I apologized.
"Sae?" you sounded surprised, "I didn't think you were going to call," you sound tired.
"You don't want me to call you?" I asked, afraid that I won't be able to hear your voice anymore.
"NO! You can call me anytime you want,"
From then everyday when I wake up the first thought is to give you a call, wanting to hear your voice. I pray that each morning, I can be woken up by the sound of your good morning messages, I don't mind if it is just words on the phone as long as they are from you.
[Good morning! Am I bothering you? ~Yukirin]
[No you are never a bother, Good morning ^.^ *Yawns* ~Sae]
[Good morning Sae! were you sleeping? I hope I didn't wake you up ~Yukirin]
[If it's your messages, I'll be happy to wake up to them every morning. ~Sae]
[Lies! You should go back to sleep, you have work later tonight, I'll call you later? ~Yukirin]
[I don't want to sleep anymore, I don't need sleep. =D ~Sae]
[You aren't replying, are you neglecting me! *pouts* ~Sae]
[LOL, just go to sleep I'll call you later, I promise. ~Yukirin]
Timelessly I want to hear your voice, wanting to speak with you, wanting to know where you are, what you are doing. I wanted to hear you share with me your happiness, your sadness so I can be there for you. When I can't see you, I want to use my voice and my words to let you know I'm still by your side. I realized I've already become too attached. I get restless when you don't instantly respond, I get agitated when you didn't pick up the phone. I understand there are times when you can't pick up or reply right away but I can't help myself.
I felt a little frightened that love and life can't be separated anymore. My love... I know it will never stop, its already too deep, it's not a past tense anymore, it is the present. You can say it's my fault for letting it become true, but I really believe it might be you. I can't bring myself to stop... I really, really, truly, madly, deeply love you but how I can?
If only I can hear your voice in the winds of 'Infinity', grant me this wish I pray to you.
--------------
*Borrowed the song from youtube, I didn't make the video, someone decided to make a tribute to FF8 with the song and since I like the song and the game I decided to choose this link. If you like the vid, you can leave comments for the original creator on youtube ^.^.
Other then working to finish up this project here, I took some of my free time at work to start planning a special project, so please wait for it. I'll try to stay alive in the mean time.