PART 31
MAKI - AUGUST 20TH, 2007
I'm not sure whose brilliant idea it was in the first place. It might have even been mine, but I had no idea they'd turned into such hard drinkers.
I had gotten a random phone call from a childhood friend and somehow our old group ended up having a little reunion at the bar down the street from my apartment. Now, I've been around some heavy drinkers, but these girls were nuts. It wasn't long until they were completely smashed and I was pretty damn buzzed myself.
Ah, who am I kidding? I was smashed myself, but thanks to Yuuchan's fine example, I'm pretty good at acting normal while drunk.
With the help of the bartender, I managed to get them all into cabs and see them off, lying through my teeth as I promised to do this again sometime. I was just about to wander home to sober up a bit when the bartender called me back inside.
"What?" I asked, walking over to him. "Did I miss one?"
"Not exactly," he said carefully. "I mean, she wasn't part of your group, but I think she's a friend of yours, isn't she?" He gestured over at the figure sitting alone at the far corner of the bar, her hair spilling down in front of her face like a curtain, her long slender fingers absentmindedly playing with the rim of the empty glass in front of her. I recognized her immediately.
"Yocchan?" I said softly, coming up next to her. She jerked her head up and looked at me in confusion for a minute before a look of recognition spread across her face.
"Heeeey, it's Goto Maki. Go-to Ma-ki. Gomaki. Hey, remember when we were penguins? That was awesome," she started laughing a little. I glanced over at the bartender, trying my best to focus through my own haze.
"How much has she had?" I asked him.
"I'm not sure," he replied. "She was already here when my shift started and she's had quite a bit since then." I felt my phone start to vibrate in my pocket. Without even glancing at it, I hit the button to send the call straight to voice mail. I had enough to deal with right now.
"Hey, Yossy, why don't we get you home?" I said quietly, helping her to her feet.
"No. I can't go home.. 'cause she's either there or she's not and I don't want that," she replied darkly. I stared at her blankly, wondering if that didn't make sense because she was drunk or because I was.
"Whatever. I guess we'll go sober up together, then." I grunted a little as the tall Gatas captain leaned heavily against me and started laughing again. Ugh, she absolutely reeked of liquor. As we stumbled out the front door, I felt a familiar hand creeping up my shirt. Of course. "Yocchan..." I sighed.
"HA!" she laughed triumphantly. "I kept telling her it was just a push-up, but she didn't believe me."
"Right, whatever," I muttered, half dragging her laughing, grope-happy, drunk ass down the street.
I was pretty impressed when we got to my apartment. We only had to stop once for her to puke on the way.
As I walked inside, I flicked on the lights and let go of her to lock the door behind us. A loud crash startled me and I physically jumped and whirled around. She had somehow fallen over my coffee table and was now lying on the floor, laughing her ass off. I groaned. I was waaaaaay too drunk to babysit her like this.
"Yocchan?" I called, walking over to her. She stopped laughing and stared at me.
"...Oh, hey!" she exclaimed, like I'd just gotten there. I dragged her into a sitting position. "What's up?"
"You reek," I said flatly. Nothing quite like the stench of spilled alcohol with a slight undertone of vomit. Very after-party chic. Yossy just laughed again. I tried to focus myself and study her face. "Yossy, stand up."
"Okaaaaaaay!" she giggled. She tried to get up and ended up falling over the table again, landing right where she'd started. She stared up at me. "That. was. AWESOME."
"Ok, we need to sober you up a little," I sighed, lugging her to her feet and dragging her into the bathroom.
"Where're we goin'?" she asked, as I propped her up against the wall.
"I'm attempting to make you slightly more coherent so I can go sleep my own buzz off," I sighed, leaning into the shower to turn it on. I held my hand under the water, waiting for it to get warm enough not to shock her system. "Ok..." I said, turning around.
My jaw dropped.
"Yossy, why are you getting naked?!" I exclaimed, unable to tear my eyes away from her lean, muscular form as she stripped down.
"Duh. Shower," she replied, looking at me like I was the crazy one. She reached around and made several unsuccessful attempts to unhook her bra. I started laughing at her predicament.
A tiny voice in the back of my mind started yelling at me "Bad Maki! Very bad! Step away from the naked Yoshizawa," but I was too far gone to listen to it. I walked over to her and, not quite knowing what I was doing, ran my hands up her back and unhooked her bra. She looked into my eyes, her expression unreadable.
I felt the room spin a little around me as I guided her into the shower. She grabbed my hand and pulled me in with her. I put my hand against the wall to steady myself a little and stared at her, standing under the stream of water, her eyes closed. Suddenly, she looked very sad.
She swayed a little and I grabbed her waist to steady her, unconsciously pulling her close to me. She opened her eyes and looked at me.
"Miki left me for Aya," she said quietly before I could even ask. My eyes widened. She looked away. "I just wish I could forget everything. Even just for a moment."
I can blame being drunk. I can blame the steam from the shower. I can blame the water coursing along her naked body. But, it was those words that did it. Her speaking aloud my thoughts from our last close moment together... from what should have been our first time together. Those words seeping into my alcohol-soaked brain. I thought it was a sign that this was meant to be. That this was my chance to fix my mistake from all those years ago.
So I kissed her.
I felt like I was back to that day when I turned my head away from her, that day when I lied and said I wasn't ready, that day I've regretted ever since. But, I knew in the back of my mind that this wasn't good, that I needed to stop this now.
I pulled back and turned my face away from her. She stepped back from me. She stood under the water for a moment, holding her head in her hands. She was breathing heavily.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that," I said quietly. The running water filled the silence between us.
"No, I mean..." she said finally. "I just..."
"No, I know, it's ok, I'm - "
"It's not ok," she cut me off bitterly. "Nothing is ok right now. And as screwed up as it is, no matter what she's done, I still love Miki." She sighed and turned the water off.
"I know how that is," I muttered.
"What?" I lifted my head and looked her straight in the eye.
"I know how it is to be in love with someone no matter what has happened between the two of you." She didn't say anything. I sighed and stepped out of the shower.
"You don't mean..."
"You need to sleep," I replied, pulling a towel around myself. "Just grab one of the shirts out of my closet or something. Everything's still in the same place."
"Maki...?"
"I need to cool down, sorry," I said shortly, walking out of the bathroom and shutting the door behind me.
I stripped off my shirt and sat down on my coffee table, soaking wet, wearing only my jeans and a towel draped around my shoulders. I stared into the darkness of my living room, the only light coming from the street lamps outside.
As soon as I heard the door to my bedroom shut, I walked back into the bathroom and systematically cleaned up, putting the clothes into the hamper, hanging up the towels. I glanced up at the mirror.
"I'm sorry."
I stared at the words scrawled across the foggy glass for a moment before wiping them away with my hand. I glanced down at the counter and spied my cell phone with the New Message light blinking. I sighed and dialed my voice mail as I walked back into the living room to grab some clothes out of the bag I'd packed for Korea.
"Maki!? It's Miki. I... It's a long story. But, just... I don't know... Please, if you see Yossy, send her home. I need to... It wasn't what she thought. It's all... Just, please send her home... Or at least... just... just tell her I love her." Click.
I hung up the phone and stared numbly into the darkness.
Oh my God.
What had I almost done...
Who in their right mind would take advantage of someone like that?
Even if I was drunk, that's still no excuse...
What kind of person would almost...?
What kind of person have I become...
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Topic: [END] memoir III: memory (I SLAYED THE BEAST!) (Read 155829 times)