-----You, Me-----
Is there any meaning to the connecting days?
My headphones stoped the irritating sound of cars and people walking past. I continued walking , watching, listening. My breath become visible as the cold invaded it. I hurry my steps home. Home? Yeah....I guess I can call it that.
I open the big door slowly, like afraid that someone might hear me. I was sure that the others were already home, since it is so late.
'I'm home...' I whisper and get off my shoes. I make my way to the kitchen where I see Takamina and Acchan talking. I get some food fast, not wanting to talk and run upstairs.
I open the door to my room and then close it, the smell makes me relax.
I take a long bath and get in bed. Looking up at the ceiling I lets out a sigh.
I put back my headphones and listening to the soft music, my mind wonders.
This world is merely made by gods to fight off boredom. That's something I believe in, because even if you die there is no meaning to it. The existence of humans is no more than a play.
I can see everyday, when I leave my body and watch every situation like a spectator. It feels like Im watching a TV show. It's nothing more than that, and when I get back , I no longer see the show but I play in it. I got used to do such thing, because Im both a spectator and an actor.
I close my eyes. If living and dying is the same thing.... I would choose to die. Because then I would be only a spectator.
Yuki.....Sae......Rena.....
Thinking about Yuki... I can feel her fingertips on my cheeks, slowly caresing me. Her smile is only for me, and with her body on top of me I can practicaly smell her.
Wait. What?
I open my eyes
'Kya!' I hear myself yelp. Yuki is really on top of me
'Mayu...I missed you...' She looks down on my with her beautiful eyes and my mind becomes blank. 'so much....'
'y-yukirin....' I can't form words
'I love you Mayu.....even if you hate me now.' She closes her teary eyes and kisses my lips. I blush and enjoying the kiss I close my eyes.
'Mayuchan...' Her voice suddenly changed, as she breaks the kiss the person I open my eyes too is not Yuki. Sae is watching me with the same teary eyes, hurt eyes.
'Mayuchan....you never appreciate me...' She puts her forehead on mine and watching in my eyes she continues 'I love your eyes....' she kisses my forehead and srokes my cheeks.
'Mayuchan....what am I to you....? why are you being like this...?' She kisses my lips again 'I love you Mayuchan....'
I close my eyes again.
'Shut up! you liar!' This voice.....Rena....
'You are just a liar. I know you now. You will eventually get tired of Yuki...and then she will be mine...'
I open my eyes again, Rena with her hands around my neck is what I see.
'Rena.. thats not true! Im sorry....really sorry....'
'Liar! shut up' the grip around my neck gets tightly, she is trying to kill me. I can't breath properly, I try to scream but my pride doesn't falls, I don't scream. I just wait for her to torture me.
'Mayuyu....'
'Mayuchan...'
'Mayu...'
With a heavy sigh, I take deep breaths as I jump off my bed. It was a nightmare, the same nightmare I always have.
It's painful, it hurts, my dark past
"I hate this, I just want to lock away all my feelings"
Thats what I say as I look at myself in the mirror.
Laughing and crying, even if it's the same thing
I will laugh and cry....
I get up and leave my room. The morning is tirying as always. I go downstairs and get breakfast, sitting at the table I see Sae , Yuki and Rena there too.
I eat in silence, trying to not disturb them or to cause anything.
"Unless I'm perfect, I cannot love myself" I always tell myself
Being unclear is weak, emotions just get in the way
But then, all the emotions- happiness, anger, and sadness- would have no meaning
"You're just in pain because you can't get strong..." I always think.
Even though emotions are a nuisance
There's a certain warmth to them isn't there?
I smile as I watch Rena and Yuki have fun talking. From the corner of the eyes I can see Sae watching me.I put up a smile and continue eating.
I know that If I asked them, they would say that they choose to 'live' instead on 'dying'. Thats why we are different. Because they enjoy living, they enjoy every little thing.
That's what they thought me. Even if I laugh or cry or don't get rewarded
I will love that life
There doesn't have to be anything that's perfect.
There just has to be something for me, I look in the mirror in the holl.
'Yes, it can be something that fits your size' I tell the troublesome person in the mirror and smile.
Even If I cause war, actions, bad things, emotions. They might still care about me, even a little. that's why they all are precious to me. Rena, Yuki , Sae, Takamina, Acchan , Jurina .
And then I ask myself again It's okay..
"Is it okay?"
It's okay - Yuki whispers
"Is it okay?"
It's ok - Sae smiles at me
"Is it okay?"
It's okay --- the person in the mirror smiles back at me.
Maybe living isn't so bad, so lets me try again and again . Love or hate, I want to feel them as well as the other emotions. I want to be with them all, my friends, so I will do my best to rewin their trust, their love, and try again to behave good. Because they might be there for me again, maybe.
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ok, the truth is that I lost the idea while I was writting, so I know this oneshot is no good. But whatever I guess.
Topic: Yuuki's fics. Poll! -Oneshot Update. (Read 23423 times)