She would always remind herself that she is lonely, that she doesn't has friends, that other's wouldn't accept her. But, I never believed any of that was completly true.
My exit, is when you start to understand, you aren't alone anymore.
'Yuki! let's go to the beach!' Rena smiled and took Yuki's hand in hers, walking beside her
'Yeah yeah! Let's go! I wanna see your sexy body in bikini' Sae's pervert was covered with blood running from her nose. Such a pervert, you could never guess if she really was a pervert. She would always say she is, but when you would talk about something perverted beside her she would blush and be embrrassed. When you would try to be a perv about her body, the true girl in her would make her really cute to tease. After all she is just a girl, behind the 'boy act' that she always put on. Her gentle side would always make people like her, even if anger got the best of her sometimes, she is still a very good friend. Listening to your problems, and trying to help always, a true friend in the most strange or dangerous actions. Sae would always be beside you.Through, emotions got the best of her.
'Mou~ you perv!' Yuki shouted and blushed feeling embrrassed, she continued walking out of the school
'Come on Yuki! It'll be fun! we'll be there together' Rena tried, knowing that she could get to Yuki's weak spot, she smiled. Rena always know how to make Yuki feel better, she could cheer her up and have fun together.Even if I don't remember talking very much with Rena, I know her pressence was always calming a little, she could use her words and warm actions very well. Even if I felt tricked by her a few times, I know Rena always wanted to be, or tried to be friends with me. It was me that made it impossible sometimes. Her love thru Yuki was strong, I never found out how she fell in love with Yuki but it was very visible, her feelings. She may have tried to crush me, in a game I could have won if I tried more, no, no game, in relationships. She is a great friend that would stand up for you, she would try everything to make you happy, she does her best in everything. And still, emotions got the best of her.
'Mou...ok ok! we'll go but Im not wearing bikini!' Yuki shouted and walked faster until I couldn't see her anymore. Rena and Sae high-fived and ran after her.
So paceful....so much paceful without me. Do they realize that that? Have anyone seen that I wasn't around anymore? Were they....even a little....missing me?Worrying about me? Wanting to know how I am doing?
I would say that I don;t believe they would do that, but I would lie again. I talked to every one of them , in less than a week. But I did it so they would stop it, all that worrying,missing. I made all of them to not care. I did it because I am selfish.
I grab my books and walk home, not stoping anywhere, observing the ones I walked past.
I have realized a few days ago, that I hadn't really talked, like having a real conversation with anyone beside my family. I only had really small talks with Rena once, Sae once or twince I think, and with Yuko on the phone a few times. But They all were small small talks, I could remember everything I told them and what they told me, so little we talked. But that's good, I smile in my selfishness.
My bed feels soft but cold on my back as I lay there in my pajama. I can think about everthing that I want to think, I could do anything, I have so much time free. But I did nothing for the past few days than eat, sleep and watch my laptop. If only I would be doing something with the laptop, but all I do is sit in front of it and ,out of habit, waiting ,expecting a message. But I would always remind myself that I'll never get one again because that's what I want, wanting to protect the others from myself, I closed almost completly.
Like when Yuki would tell me about the walls she had formed around her, I would just smile at her , knowing that they weren't so strong as she had claimed them to be. She would always say that only I could break them, that only I hold the key to her heart. She would always run after me when I would leave, she would always be there, because she said she would always be mine. Lies are so sweet but so hurtful. The walls around me are only becoming bigger as I try to run away from them all.
Ring Ring Ring 'OSHIRI~OSHIRI~'
I smile at the ring tone and pick up the phone, knowing it is Yuko
'Hey Yuko'
'Hey Mayu! What are you doing?'
'At my laptop, like usually, what did you expected?' I smirk
'Hehe, and here I was wondering if you would want to go out'
'Very amusing haha' I smile hearing her laugh ' so what are you doing? must be something more interesting than what Im doing'
'well it is! I'm going shopping!' I hear her talk happy
2o minutes later we had finally closed the phones, we never talk about something, we talk random and there are moments when neither talks . But I am happy to get messages from her or calls, they remind me that I still have a friend with who I can talk about anything.
I stalked her on facebook, ok? I can be honest about this now, everyday I would open her page and see if she had posted anything. I felt like messaging her and begging her to make her account not visible to these who aren;t in her friend list, but I know that would have been rejected and she would have been mad. I told her to not talk to me anymore, I made her so much pain, and yet here am I, stalking her fb accout cuz I miss her? Im not only a coward but also a stupid ex-lover stalked.
I guess I said enough, only speaching my mind a little, from all the thinking I do everyday. I should really try to find something to do with my life, beside hurting people with words and all. Maybe Ill start a manga.....I take out paper and draw a little, then stop and write again.
Yuki...my beautiful, sweet, precious Yuki. You don't see it maybe, but you have finally found friends who will try to be there for you always. You have your walls almost at the gound, no matter how much you try now, you become addicted to talking to others about your daily life, about what hurts you and about what makes you happy. You got used and addicted to the people how call you friend, and are there for you. Not like me.
I hope though that...maybe you will remember me for a while longer. Because I will surely remember you all my life, I always had this good memory of people how had an impact on me.
I may have become a real 'badass' or 'devil' . I may not be honest, or even aware of my emotions anymore. I may love or not love you anymore.
But I.......
Oh! My stage ends here hah. Then, let's meet again one day nee. This is my exit stage, you go to the next stage and all the others but I lost the game in the first moment that I fist lied to you.
This is my true farewell.
Topic: Love problems! Characters . DISCONTINUED. (Read 11630 times)