JPHiP Forum
AKB48 Fanfics => AKB48 Fanfics => Topic started by: recca101 on July 15, 2012, 11:00:53 AM
-
Hey, I'm new here :)
I decided to write a fanfic, and it's MaYuki. It's my first AKB fanfic lol
I posted this on tumblr just recently too, lol
I hope it's not too bad and you guys enjoy it~
Well, then here you go
NOW
- Uneasy -
Watanabe Mayu shifted in her seat as she fiddled around on her mobile phone. She stared at the screen and her thumb hovered over the erase button. Her eyes shifted up and saw a familiar name, ‘Yukirin’. Then, glanced back down to the contents of what she typed in the message box. It was a simple question, but it just seemed so difficult to send. ‘What are you doing now?’ why couldn’t she ask? A sigh escaped her mouth as she hurriedly deleted the words from her screen. She doesn’t even remember when things became so difficult for Yuki and her. The situation just becomes worse and worse. Mayu looked up towards the ceiling and smiled as all the bittersweet memories blurred her vision of reality. She found it hard to forget those memories. She found it hard to pretend. She found it hard to watch Yuki from afar. It was all too difficult for her, but that’s how everything ended up. And, she found it hard to accept the truth she forged herself.
She stood up and placed her phone on the table, straightening her clothes out she opened the door to leave and get some fresh air. Before she could precede any further down the corridor, the sight of a familiar figure paralyzed her. She watched as that person began to turn around, Mayu turned away immediately wanting to avoid any contact with the girl. After reminiscing all those precious moments they shared, Mayu couldn’t handle the sight of the person she loves so much. She’s afraid she’ll collapse.
“Mayuyu!” the soothing voice called out.
Mayu continued to walk the opposite way, pretending not to hear. But, she heard fast footsteps from behind and knew that she couldn’t run this time. A rough pull caught her by the wrist and spun her around. Now, she was face to face she the person she least wanted to see. “What?”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were already at the set?” the older asked with a concerned expression. “I thought something happened, I just found out from the manager”
“Oh, I forgot” Mayu simply whispered, as she flashed a faint smile.
“Why weren’t you in the waiting room with the rest of the members?” Yuki asked.
“I didn’t need to” the same weak whisper came again. She glanced at the hand that was holding onto her wrist, before diverting her attention back to Yuki. “But, don’t worry. I’m here in one piece”
Yuki looked at the younger girl. Her grip slowly loosened, as she saw the emptiness in Mayu’s eyes. There was certain darkness, and it had nothing to do with color. “Hey…” she started softly, “Are you avoiding me?”
Mayu shook her head. “No, why would I? I just don’t need to be around you as much anymore. After all, we’re just friends now… right?” the arm that was being held soon dropped back to her side as Yuki let go. “There’s no need for friends to be so clingy with each other”
“You seem distant from everyone lately though” Yuki said. “I don’t hate you, you know? I still care about you. So, I don't want you to feel thrown away or anything…”
“I’m not, I broke up with you, not the other way around. I’m just adjusting right now… that’s all” Mayu smiled and looked down. “But you know…” she looked Yuki in the eye, “I should’ve endured it for a while longer. I should’ve tried harder, I knew what you felt but I was too childish to act upon it. I was immature, it must’ve being hard for you”
THEN
- Fading -
“It’s just a birthday,” Mayu said.
Yuki gasped at the casual statement. “Why can’t you just say ‘sorry’? You were busy, I understand, we’re in the same boat. But, you’re also my girlfriend. You should try harder sometimes”
Mayu abruptly shut her flip phone with an abnormal amount of force. “What? I am trying! I try my best to keep this relationship alive. I took you out on Valentine’s, I remembered our anniversary that you cherish so much, and I made sure every week to somehow find time for you and you only. And, you’re saying that I’m not trying? I am”
Yuki looked at the younger girl with sad eyes. “Out of all those times, when was there a time you didn’t just stare at your phone the whole time? A time where you didn’t ditch me for last minute work? A time where you seemed like you were actually enjoying it and not doing it because it seems like a job to you? You hardly meant any of those; you just did it for the sake of doing it. But, I was still grateful and went along because you were busy and I understood. You’re at the peak of your career right now, you’re flooded with requests and there’s no way you’ll reject any of them” she took a breath, “But, now, I just seem like a complication. I just get in the way of everything for you”
The younger girl clenched her jaws and inhaled deeply. “Just give me some time, I just need to sort things out”
Yuki just nodded. “Okay…”
*
Mayu watched Yuki laughing away with the other members. She noticed how free the girl seemed and beautiful she was. How her happiness came naturally. Mayu began to wonder if it was the right decision to continue their relationship. All she was doing was making Yuki feel disrespected and unloved. That’s not how it should be. Mayu loved Yuki a lot, but her expressions just never came out right. Interference would always find its way on the most important days. Then, misunderstandings would rise and pile up one after another. While, both of them are tired and stressed from their career as well. It seems Mayu’s not keeping up with herself. She realizes how Yuki’s smile would always fade when by her side. It hurt her to know that it’s her fault for giving Yuki such a hard time. Their times together were supposed to be happy, that’s what love is. It motivates people; it makes people feel confident and wanted. But, that’s obviously not the case for them anymore. It’s changed.
Mayu casted her eyes away from the scene before her, it was only making her feel more guilty. She knew that this is the sign of an end. But, she didn’t want to let go. She loves Yuki, and wanted to be with her longer. The facts were telling her it was impossible though, and it tore her apart. She wasn’t sure what to do. She told Yuki she needed time, but wanted to give results soon. She’s stalled enough. Yuki just seemed so distant, so far way, slowly drifting. Their love for each other is only a thin string that could snap any minute. And, she didn’t want to risk that sudden break. If, the string is to break, she wants to be the one to cut it. She knew she loves Yuki. She loves Yuki enough to let her go.
NOW
- Smile -
Mayu would regret letting Yuki go at times, but at the end of the day everything would seem so right and in place. The person that is destined to stand beside Yuki is not Mayu. Mayu knew, the moment they broke up she realized how out of place she would’ve being to stand next to Yuki. She loves Yuki and always will, but the truth is that Yuki doesn’t belong to her. Yuki deserves someone better. She deserves someone who will unconditionally always place her first, and never make excuses. She found out now but it’s too late to go back. Her chance has already passed.
“You know, sometimes I wonder why I agreed to the break up” Yuki said quietly as they stood in the corridor. “Sometimes I wonder why I let you slip away, and I still do”
Mayu stayed mum for a second before responding. “I regretted it sometimes too”
Yuki looked up and opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by Mayu. “But you know” Mayu started. “ When I saw you smile so freely, I realized how worth it, it was” the younger girl smiled bitterly, “I was just restricting you, as we progressed I casted you aside. My schedule became heavier and you slowly drifted away from my grasp” she paused, “I’m sorry… I wish I knew back then”
“Thank you…” Yuki whispered with a slight smile. It’s being a while since she first smiled in front of Mayu because of Mayu. It reminded her of the old times.
THEN
- Goodbye -
Mayu swallowed hard as she mustered all of her remaining courage. “Yukirin… I love you”
“I know, me too”
“But…” Mayu tried hard to hold back the tears. “I feel like I’m not good enough for you, I think you deserve better”
Yuki suddenly stood up from her seat and walked up to Mayu, “What are you saying?”
“When you’re with me… I feel like you don’t enjoy it. But, you don’t want to speak up because of how impulsive I can be. And, I didn’t mean to treat you like that. It’s just I’m still immature and I’m not good at expressing myself” Mayu’s voice started to tremble as the tears became harder and harder to hold back. “I love you and always will, but I don’t think my love will ever get to you. I’ve always wanted to make you happy but the opposite is happening”
“Mayu, stop” Yuki said, “We can sort it out calmly. Don’t”
“I’d like you to feel more special. And, smile more, laugh more” Mayu looked up as a lone tear streamed down her face. “So, let’s break up”
Yuki didn’t know what to say, her tears just started to flow uncontrollably. The two of them stood their silently crying, as all of the times they spent together flashed before them. And, that’s when they both realized how much they needed each other. How they wanted to be there for each other no matter what. How they wanted to spend the rest of their life with each other. They also realized how stupid the situation was.
But, neither spoke up.
-
thanks for writting it :grin:
i'll read it later..i need to sleep! :thumbsup
-
First and foremost, welcome to jphip! :jphip:
Gah, this is really heartbreaking to read as the real Mayuyu and Yukirin have such a loving and close relationship now (not saying that they are lovers though I would be the first one to celebrate if they were) that it's really depressing to think that what if one day, they were to drift apart from each other like in your story. And to be honest, their situation really hits home with me as I was in a similar relationship and it was really as tiring and disheartening as you described. The following part is especially true.
Their times together were supposed to be happy, that’s what love is. It motivates people; it makes people feel confident and wanted. But, that’s obviously not the case for them anymore. It’s changed.
Anyway, great writing. You've got a good balance of 'show' versus 'tell'. It's great that you describe the characters' actions in detail, allowing readers to visualise the scene and feel their emotions. Yet, you also know when to insert expositions to give a more in-depth look at the characters' thoughts. I really felt Mayu and Yuki's frustration and helplessness at their situation. I love the ending line "But, neither spoke up." as it sums up their issue very well. Good job! :thumbsup
This fic is a little heavy to digest on Yukirin's birthday but I'm glad you shared it with us. Thank you! If you were to write more stories, please post them here as well if you don't mind :deco:
-
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! :gyaaah: this is too heartreaking for me!! how dare u wrote a sad ending about mayuki, recca-san? i'm gonna kill u!! hiyaaarghhhh!!!! :onionwhip: naah, just kidding. hehe. thanks for writing an awesome story, to it's short and gave me major heartbreak :on cloudeye: jk jk.. ;P hope u'll write more after this! :hee:
btw, i'm not a suitable person to say this, but WELCOME TO THE CLUB! hope u enjoy being part of the group, coz i am :on woohoo:
-
Ahh this was so sad. I haven't read an angsty Mayuki fic in a long time, and man was this one really angsty. Well, even though it broke my heart it was still good and I hope you write a lot more (hopefully happy Mayuki ones XD)
Also welcome to jphip :)
-
T_T Poor Mayuki
-
Welcome to :hipheart:
Reading.... :shocked :thumbsup :cry:
Great OS! now I'm going to cry in the corner...
ArígatoU! :kneelbow:
-
A short one-shot in as a tribute for Maeda Atsuko's graduation. It is an 'AtsuMina' fanfic, and is quite 'broad' I guess.
Anyways, it's angst (?), so yeah... Enjoy :D
I’ll be waiting, always…
I stand at the place of your last smile. I remember vividly the sorrow in your eyes; they were dark and empty. You placed fear in me, as I gradually became agitated. A million thoughts rushed to my head and the scenarios just kept getting worse. All I could do was stare at your bitter smile, and even so, it was the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. My eyes started to water subconsciously at the sight of that pure smile.
But, it’s okay now, this grief and these painful tears. I’ll hold it all back, as I wait for you to come back. I don’t know where else to go. My feet just drag me back here in the hopes of seeing you. Everyday I feel piercing pain in my left side, as if my heart has stopped. Trapped in a black tunnel, the heart you coldly abandoned still hasn’t realized you left. I want you back, and every time I see you I blame myself for letting you go. I’m lost in a maze of old memories. The moment you said ‘good bye’ I felt myself choke as my breath was sucked out of me, like a patient being torn from their oxygen mask. My body gets exhausted from the yearning but my heart whispers your name every second reminding me of my unconditional love for you.
I cry and cry your name, but all I get are echoes. You don’t answer; you never have ever since our separation. You left me alone in the cold, without giving a second glance. You told me that I was your ‘one and only’, then why did you leave? I can’t bear these scars that have opened again. You hurt me, even though I gave you everything. The more I think about it the madder I become. You drive me crazy, insane. Why can’t you at least pretend you care? Even a little would make me feel at ease. I’d know all my efforts didn't go to waste. I’d know that you really loved me. But, now I wonder, if you ever loved me with a true heart. Was I a toy, just any other person?
But, even so, I still wait for you like a fool. I try erasing you and the memories but they flood back the moment I think back to the years. You made me cry, laugh, and hurt. You’ve turned my world upside down. You made my whole purpose of living for you. The habits I have now are because of you. The songs I have changed because of you. My memories are tainted with bittersweet moments because of you. And, I ask myself why? Why do I need to suffer alone? Why do I remember all of this trash? That’s when I realized that even if I die, I couldn’t forget you. You are a tattoo I can’t get rid of. I have stopped at this signal and I can’t turn back. I don’t know what to do.
The loneliness sinks deeper into my skin, as I start relating you to things that doesn’t even make sense. These streets without you feel so strange. Your usual warmth disappears, as I feel out of place, my spot next to you is gone. It’s probably taken by now. I still recall every action you’d make, your face, and your words. Even the scent of you, now, numbs my nose. Life is tough, and the world is cruel. But, why do things come and go so easily? I’m suffocating whether awake or asleep. Just come back to me, I’ll be better. Two times better, no, however many more times possible.
This grief and these painful tears, I’ll hold it all back as I wait for you. I bite down hard and clench my fists. I need to stay strong, to show that I’m fine. I’ll smile in front you and speak as if nothing’s wrong. And, standing here at the place of our separation I’ll continue to wait. Wait for you to come back with a smile, and say it was all a lie. Until then, my poor heart beats and my exhausted body yearns. I won’t collapse. I still have so much to show you, but you left. You’ll come back. I’ll wait for you.
~
“Everyday, every time, everywhere,
I’m sorry I couldn’t treat you better,
August 27th, a day I will never forget”
-
hi..
may i know where's the atsumina fan fiction in your page????
thank you..
-
T_T It's so sad...
Poor Takamina
-
I love this fic so much, even though it's so short and sad. :cry: You use such fantastic imagery and metaphors, and the technical aspects are also spot-on. I very much look forward to anything else you write for Atsumina. :)
-
hi..
may i know where's the atsumina fan fiction in your page????
thank you..
It's right above your post. :)
Sorry, for not making it clear
-
Another short one-shot. Angst again...
I don't know why I keep on getting inspiration and writing angst fanfics, but I promise I'll make a happy one soon. :D
Anyways, I made this TomoTomo. But, I guess you can imagine anyone (as long as they're paired with Itano)
So, enjoy~
I see myself with her…
Lately, I don’t know if my love for you is running out or if I’m just a fickle person. Either way, I don’t want to admit to it. Why am I so selfish? I look at you and flash a smile. Why am I so fake? I feel sorry for you, to fall for someone like me. I’m immature and my tastes change on a whim. I treat you undeservingly and you still stick around, are you obsessed? What do you even see in me? There’s another girl beside me, doesn’t that bother you? I don’t wear the ring you gave me, why are still here? Love has made you more than blind, and I don’t like it.
Why can’t you let go of that jerk? She’s not worth your time. You deserve so much better. I’m tired of waiting for you. When you’re sad, I feel like I’m dying inside. When she hugs you, it just doesn’t feel right. When you smile for her, she doesn’t even make an effort to smile back. And, when you text her she on purposely ignores it because she’s too ‘busy’ for you. Do you enjoy being treated like that? Your love is being wasted and you don't even know, because you’re too blinded to see.
I remember the times you would grab my hand and drag me around cheerfully from place to place. I would laugh with you, and had all the time in the world to be with you. I was infatuated with you, but now, it’s the opposite. You still love me to death, and I’m just… wavering. I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t know how to break it off. You look so happy with me, always. Deep inside, I still want you by my side. But, I know that it’s not right, yet to you it seems perfect.
Why can’t you let go of that jerk? She doesn’t love you. You’re only digging yourself deeper and deeper into an abyss filled with pain and rejection. When you realize just how much you screwed up, it will be a mistake you can’t mend. And, it will give you a scar that will never heal. You’re investing too many emotions on that girl, and she doesn’t even give you anything back. She doesn’t give you any attention or affection. You say ‘she’s just a tsundere, it’s normal’, but you know that’s a lie. How long will you stay in denial? She doesn’t care about you anymore.
I hate myself for drifting away from you. You’re so delicate, yet I just toss you aside like nothing. I sometimes wonder why I started dating you to begin with. Did I love you or was it just confusion between the feelings of admiration? I don’t like it when I can’t make sense of myself. My mind and my heart, I don’t know which one to follow. They say to follow your heart, and look where that got me. It got me to a point of cursing you and myself.
Why can’t you let go of that jerk? You suit many things, from expensive restaurants to branded clothing. But, the only thing that doesn't suit you is ‘her’ she ruins you and it’s awkward. People would think that you’re one of those silly girls who are shallow. I don’t want that. You’re intelligent, really. But, why did you have to fall for her out of all the people in the world. What does she have that others don’t? She has much less than you think, and I hope you realize.
~
“I saw your girlfriend with someone else…”
I whispered.
“She’s not like that, stop lying!”
You yelled.
“I’m not, it’s true”
I said.
Your eyes started to tear up. I looked at you with pity. You knew, but didn’t want it to be told to you because you knew. You don't want people telling you stuff you know. It's like faults. Everyone knows their faults, but hates it being said out in front of them. It’s just not a nice feeling.
“You are”
You said.
“Yeah, I probably got the wrong person… Sorry”
I lied.
~
“Hey, Itano. Wake up!” a voice called.
I fluttered my eyes open. A dream. I sighed, I guess this is a warning for me to make up my mind. I smiled, should I do it using flower petals? I looked at the ceiling and closed my eyes again. “Ten more minutes!” I called back.
“I love you, I love you not…"
Our love was tainted from the beginning. We didn’t know our intentions, we had no directions, and we knew nothing of relationships. We have to let each other go. You need to realize that when you’re thinking of me, I’m thinking of another girl. Does that seem right?
“I love you…”
When are you going to leave that jerk? All she does is give you pain. You don't have to go through all of that. How long are you going to cry over someone so worthless? You don’t need her in your life and I’m sure she doesn’t need you not matter how much she thinks she does. When I see you sad, I feel like dying inside. When you stand beside her, it feels like it’s missing something. I don’t like the picture, and I hope you’ll grow to hate it too. Let her go, she doesn’t love you.
“I love you not…”
-
No!!!! Tomotomo!!!! T_T
-
Aiyaa! You hurt my heart ( T_T)
My TomoTomo ... ( T_T)
But still, ... BRAVO! Very well written fic!
Just the right amount of angst -Sob-
-
aaa TomoTomo :love:
but so sad :banghead:
I demand happy ending for TomoTomo :panic: nice fic and I love TomoTomo as well XD
-
Lately, I don’t know if my love for you is running out or if I’m just a fickle person. Either way, I don’t want to admit to it. Why am I so selfish? I look at you and flash a smile. Why am I so fake? I feel sorry for you, to fall for someone like me. I’m immature and my tastes change on a whim. I treat you undeservingly and you still stick around, are you obsessed? What do you even see in me? There’s another girl beside me, doesn’t that bother you? I don’t wear the ring you gave me, why are still here? Love has made you more than blind, and I don’t like it.
Why can’t you let go of that jerk? She’s not worth your time. You deserve so much better. I’m tired of waiting for you. When you’re sad, I feel like I’m dying inside. When she hugs you, it just doesn’t feel right. When you smile for her, she doesn’t even make an effort to smile back. And, when you text her she on purposely ignores it because she’s too ‘busy’ for you. Do you enjoy being treated like that? Your love is being wasted and you don't even know, because you’re too blinded to see.
I remember the times you would grab my hand and drag me around cheerfully from place to place. I would laugh with you, and had all the time in the world to be with you. I was infatuated with you, but now, it’s the opposite. You still love me to death, and I’m just… wavering. I don’t want to hurt you, but I don’t know how to break it off. You look so happy with me, always. Deep inside, I still want you by my side. But, I know that it’s not right, yet to you it seems perfect.
Why can’t you let go of that jerk? She doesn’t love you. You’re only digging yourself deeper and deeper into an abyss filled with pain and rejection. When you realize just how much you screwed up, it will be a mistake you can’t mend. And, it will give you a scar that will never heal. You’re investing too many emotions on that girl, and she doesn’t even give you anything back. She doesn’t give you any attention or affection. You say ‘she’s just a tsundere, it’s normal’, but you know that’s a lie. How long will you stay in denial? She doesn’t care about you anymore.
I hate myself for drifting away from you. You’re so delicate, yet I just toss you aside like nothing. I sometimes wonder why I started dating you to begin with. Did I love you or was it just confusion between the feelings of admiration? I don’t like it when I can’t make sense of myself. My mind and my heart, I don’t know which one to follow. They say to follow your heart, and look where that got me. It got me to a point of cursing you and myself.
Why can’t you let go of that jerk? You suit many things, from expensive restaurants to branded clothing. But, the only thing that doesn't suit you is ‘her’ she ruins you and it’s awkward. People would think that you’re one of those silly girls who are shallow. I don’t want that. You’re intelligent, really. But, why did you have to fall for her out of all the people in the world. What does she have that others don’t? She has much less than you think, and I hope you realize.
this really hit my head in the nail, cuz it fits perfectly as to what's happening to me. :mon worklate: i don't know what to say :gmon tears:
-
oh.... how sad.. poor Itano...
I wanted to read a TomoTomo one and it really got me.
thanks ;.;
I just read the tomotomo one, when I read the others, I'll edit my coment o/
-
I don't know, but when I read "Watching You Smile" fic, I imediately remember G-Dragon's song That XX. ^_^