Hey, I'm new here
I decided to write a fanfic, and it's MaYuki. It's my first AKB fanfic lol
I posted this on tumblr just recently too, lol
I hope it's not too bad and you guys enjoy it~
Well, then here you go
NOW
- Uneasy -Watanabe Mayu shifted in her seat as she fiddled around on her mobile phone. She stared at the screen and her thumb hovered over the erase button. Her eyes shifted up and saw a familiar name, ‘Yukirin’. Then, glanced back down to the contents of what she typed in the message box. It was a simple question, but it just seemed so difficult to send. ‘What are you doing now?’ why couldn’t she ask? A sigh escaped her mouth as she hurriedly deleted the words from her screen. She doesn’t even remember when things became so difficult for Yuki and her. The situation just becomes worse and worse. Mayu looked up towards the ceiling and smiled as all the bittersweet memories blurred her vision of reality. She found it hard to forget those memories. She found it hard to pretend. She found it hard to watch Yuki from afar. It was all too difficult for her, but that’s how everything ended up. And, she found it hard to accept the truth she forged herself.
She stood up and placed her phone on the table, straightening her clothes out she opened the door to leave and get some fresh air. Before she could precede any further down the corridor, the sight of a familiar figure paralyzed her. She watched as that person began to turn around, Mayu turned away immediately wanting to avoid any contact with the girl. After reminiscing all those precious moments they shared, Mayu couldn’t handle the sight of the person she loves so much. She’s afraid she’ll collapse.
“Mayuyu!” the soothing voice called out.
Mayu continued to walk the opposite way, pretending not to hear. But, she heard fast footsteps from behind and knew that she couldn’t run this time. A rough pull caught her by the wrist and spun her around. Now, she was face to face she the person she least wanted to see. “What?”
“Why didn’t you tell me you were already at the set?” the older asked with a concerned expression. “I thought something happened, I just found out from the manager”
“Oh, I forgot” Mayu simply whispered, as she flashed a faint smile.
“Why weren’t you in the waiting room with the rest of the members?” Yuki asked.
“I didn’t need to” the same weak whisper came again. She glanced at the hand that was holding onto her wrist, before diverting her attention back to Yuki. “But, don’t worry. I’m here in one piece”
Yuki looked at the younger girl. Her grip slowly loosened, as she saw the emptiness in Mayu’s eyes. There was certain darkness, and it had nothing to do with color. “Hey…” she started softly, “Are you avoiding me?”
Mayu shook her head. “No, why would I? I just don’t need to be around you as much anymore. After all, we’re just friends now… right?” the arm that was being held soon dropped back to her side as Yuki let go. “There’s no need for friends to be so clingy with each other”
“You seem distant from everyone lately though” Yuki said. “I don’t hate you, you know? I still care about you. So, I don't want you to feel thrown away or anything…”
“I’m not, I broke up with you, not the other way around. I’m just adjusting right now… that’s all” Mayu smiled and looked down. “But you know…” she looked Yuki in the eye, “I should’ve endured it for a while longer. I should’ve tried harder, I knew what you felt but I was too childish to act upon it. I was immature, it must’ve being hard for you”
THEN
- Fading - “It’s just a birthday,” Mayu said.
Yuki gasped at the casual statement. “Why can’t you just say ‘sorry’? You were busy, I understand, we’re in the same boat. But, you’re also my girlfriend. You should try harder sometimes”
Mayu abruptly shut her flip phone with an abnormal amount of force. “What? I am trying! I try my best to keep this relationship alive. I took you out on Valentine’s, I remembered our anniversary that you cherish so much, and I made sure every week to somehow find time for you and you only. And, you’re saying that I’m not trying? I am”
Yuki looked at the younger girl with sad eyes. “Out of all those times, when was there a time you didn’t just stare at your phone the whole time? A time where you didn’t ditch me for last minute work? A time where you seemed like you were actually enjoying it and not doing it because it seems like a job to you? You hardly meant any of those; you just did it for the sake of doing it. But, I was still grateful and went along because you were busy and I understood. You’re at the peak of your career right now, you’re flooded with requests and there’s no way you’ll reject any of them” she took a breath, “But, now, I just seem like a complication. I just get in the way of everything for you”
The younger girl clenched her jaws and inhaled deeply. “Just give me some time, I just need to sort things out”
Yuki just nodded. “Okay…”
*
Mayu watched Yuki laughing away with the other members. She noticed how free the girl seemed and beautiful she was. How her happiness came naturally. Mayu began to wonder if it was the right decision to continue their relationship. All she was doing was making Yuki feel disrespected and unloved. That’s not how it should be. Mayu loved Yuki a lot, but her expressions just never came out right. Interference would always find its way on the most important days. Then, misunderstandings would rise and pile up one after another. While, both of them are tired and stressed from their career as well. It seems Mayu’s not keeping up with herself. She realizes how Yuki’s smile would always fade when by her side. It hurt her to know that it’s her fault for giving Yuki such a hard time. Their times together were supposed to be happy, that’s what love is. It motivates people; it makes people feel confident and wanted. But, that’s obviously not the case for them anymore. It’s changed.
Mayu casted her eyes away from the scene before her, it was only making her feel more guilty. She knew that this is the sign of an end. But, she didn’t want to let go. She loves Yuki, and wanted to be with her longer. The facts were telling her it was impossible though, and it tore her apart. She wasn’t sure what to do. She told Yuki she needed time, but wanted to give results soon. She’s stalled enough. Yuki just seemed so distant, so far way, slowly drifting. Their love for each other is only a thin string that could snap any minute. And, she didn’t want to risk that sudden break. If, the string is to break, she wants to be the one to cut it. She knew she loves Yuki. She loves Yuki enough to let her go.
NOW
- Smile -Mayu would regret letting Yuki go at times, but at the end of the day everything would seem so right and in place. The person that is destined to stand beside Yuki is not Mayu. Mayu knew, the moment they broke up she realized how out of place she would’ve being to stand next to Yuki. She loves Yuki and always will, but the truth is that Yuki doesn’t belong to her. Yuki deserves someone better. She deserves someone who will unconditionally always place her first, and never make excuses. She found out now but it’s too late to go back. Her chance has already passed.
“You know, sometimes I wonder why I agreed to the break up” Yuki said quietly as they stood in the corridor. “Sometimes I wonder why I let you slip away, and I still do”
Mayu stayed mum for a second before responding. “I regretted it sometimes too”
Yuki looked up and opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by Mayu. “But you know” Mayu started. “ When I saw you smile so freely, I realized how worth it, it was” the younger girl smiled bitterly, “I was just restricting you, as we progressed I casted you aside. My schedule became heavier and you slowly drifted away from my grasp” she paused, “I’m sorry… I wish I knew back then”
“Thank you…” Yuki whispered with a slight smile. It’s being a while since she first smiled in front of Mayu because of Mayu. It reminded her of the old times.
THEN
- Goodbye -Mayu swallowed hard as she mustered all of her remaining courage. “Yukirin… I love you”
“I know, me too”
“But…” Mayu tried hard to hold back the tears. “I feel like I’m not good enough for you, I think you deserve better”
Yuki suddenly stood up from her seat and walked up to Mayu, “What are you saying?”
“When you’re with me… I feel like you don’t enjoy it. But, you don’t want to speak up because of how impulsive I can be. And, I didn’t mean to treat you like that. It’s just I’m still immature and I’m not good at expressing myself” Mayu’s voice started to tremble as the tears became harder and harder to hold back. “I love you and always will, but I don’t think my love will ever get to you. I’ve always wanted to make you happy but the opposite is happening”
“Mayu, stop” Yuki said, “We can sort it out calmly. Don’t”
“I’d like you to feel more special. And, smile more, laugh more” Mayu looked up as a lone tear streamed down her face. “So, let’s break up”
Yuki didn’t know what to say, her tears just started to flow uncontrollably. The two of them stood their silently crying, as all of the times they spent together flashed before them. And, that’s when they both realized how much they needed each other. How they wanted to be there for each other no matter what. How they wanted to spend the rest of their life with each other. They also realized how stupid the situation was.
But, neither spoke up.