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Author Topic: Sakanatachi No Love Song [Nogizaka46] [Chapter XVI || 061217]  (Read 10863 times)

Offline finiarel

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Sakanatachi No Love Song [Nogizaka46] [Chapter XV || 011017]
« Reply #80 on: October 01, 2017, 05:49:56 AM »

Shiraishi Mai still could not believe what’s happening. However, she quickly snapped out her confusion as she took a step back from the woman that was hugging her. Unconsciously, her hand reached up to where her artificial heart is beating, as if to make sure that she actually still not able to feel anything.

Good thing that the woman let her go and took a step back herself, taking a seat as she waited for her to calm down.

“Nakamoto-san, isn’t it? Can you please give us some privacy,” Wakatsuki said to the waitress as the latter nodded and took a few step back. Once she is gone Wakatsuki exhales and sit down, leaving Shiraishi to be the only one standing up, “you should take a seat too, Shiraishi-san.”

Shiraishi nodded, taking a seat as she looks at the girl sharply, forming the words in her head carefully before finally asked, “I would like to know, Wakatsuki-san, how long have you known about this?”

“Long enough,” the one being questioned replied without even looking at her.

“You are either too good or stupid. I really hope that you’re not both,” she said bitterly.

Wakatsuki didn’t reply, seemingly more interested on the table in front of her than anything else. Shiraishi averted her gaze back to the older woman, who seems to be observing her thoroughly, her expression as unreadable as always.

“Mother, don’t you think this is too late to start playing family?” she asked, holding back her next sentence for a moment because she had accidentally bit her lower lips. Ignoring the iron taste in her mouth she continued, “ It took me a while to realize this, but I already have people that I consider my family, I don’t need you to barge in and ruin it."

"Mai, please, just listen," she said calmly, hoping that her daughter will be more at ease by her soft tones.

However it didn't work, instead, her sentence had somehow prompted Shiraishi to say every single thing that came to her mind, "no, you're the one who needs to listen. I’m pretty much okay with leaving everything behind. After all, Yumi-chan here will always be your true child just as much as I am just someone who should have never been born. I - don't - need - you.”

“Mai, it’s not like that,” for the first time she looks terrified upon her daughter's words.

“Not like what? Not like you just watched from a few meters away as I struggled and slowly bleed myself to death? I might have a problem with my emotion but I pretty much okay with my memories.”

The older woman lost her words for several seconds, totally taken aback with her sharp and accusing sentence before quickly regained herself, “that’s not like what you think. Leave that aside, for now, I need to tell you several things about the next trial because we don’t have much time.”

Shiraishi averted her gaze to the clock on the wall, “time is ticking. Better make it quick since I would prefer not to spend so much time with you.”

“On the next trial, I would be working with the government. I would use my right as your birthmother,” she said calmly.

“What a surprise,” Shiraishi said flatly.

Ignoring her rude remarks the older woman continued, “look, I know that you don’t want them to get ahold of you, so I’m going to help you from the other side. What you need to do is to counter them with the fact that you are an adult capable of making decisions by yourself. That’s the point that I think you need to work on, how to convince the jury that you are making the decision by yourself without having the company to cloud your judgment.”

“And why I should trust that you wouldn’t be pulling anything else behind?”

“Because I am still your mother. I want you to be safe and I know being with government is not the answer to that,” she said softly, her tone expresses her concern perfectly.

“Your motherly side is so astounding,” she remarked, not even trying to put some emotion in her words, “you know, you could have chosen to be on our side instead of the opposite.”

“And would you actually accept me? We all know that you wouldn’t. If not this way you would never let me help you. That’s why I chose to do it from the opposing side.”

“You’re right I wouldn’t have accepted your help. Maybe I never will. But at least I would probably hate you less.”

Shiraishi wonders how easy it is for her to hate the woman now despite how much she adores her back before the accident happened. To think about it, it was all her own fault. Shiraishi Mai shouldn’t have tried to find her mother from the first place. If she had never tried to look for her none of this would have happened.

When she was young she always regards her mother highly, even though she basically knows nothing about her. She had always given the biggest smile whenever someone would remark their striking resemblance, had always tried to pry as many information as she can whenever she’s meeting someone who declares they know the woman.

She grew up with the idea that her mother was an amazing human being that along the way fallen out of love from her father which makes her left the house. She secretly tried to look for the woman. However, her search was for naught, she couldn’t get a single info about where she- Gondawara Kirei went after leaving her father, not even able to get a single info about where she was before meeting her father.

It’s as if she has never existed.

Not until she was in senior high school that she finally braced herself to speak to her father, asking about her mother whereabouts as there is nothing that she wants more than to see the woman that given birth to her.

She remembered how her father stiffens upon hearing the request coming from her mouth. To her surprise, the man nodded.

“I will try to look for her whereabouts, but I warn you that there is a possibility that this would be really far from what you have imagined.”

She furrowed her eyebrows, trying to make sense of the man last words. She really wanted to ask more, but from the man expression, she knows that she will not get more out of it.

A few months later her father who was on a business trip outside of the country sent her a text which is basically nothing but an address and another sentence to have her chauffeur to drive her to the place instead of going alone and without needing a further explanation, young Shiraishi Mai knows what it will lead her to.

After several weeks of contemplation and some urging from Nishino, she finally decided to meet the woman. The woman’s place is actually only a block away from where Nishino lives so it wasn’t pretty hard even for her to find it without any help from the chauffeur, however just per her father request Shiraishi instructed her chauffeur to drive her to the place.

When she finally reached the address she stared at the family name written on the house’s plate for several minutes, starting to doubt the reliability of the information since the name written on it is ‘Wakatsuki’, she shook off all the weird thoughts that have started to bug her mind and knock on the door.

She did it again.

And again.

And again.

And again, yet no answer came. In disappointment, she dragged her feet back to where her car is. However, before she could reach her car an old man who lives in the area happened to pass by and told her that the woman just went out to the park close by. After thanking the man, she instructed her chauffeur to go to the place.

The woman has left her house before she could even walk, so Shiraishi has no recollection of her features except those that she could remember from the woman's amazingly very few pictures. However, when she stepped out from the car and started walk closer to the woman that was sitting on a picnic mat, even from far she could somehow tell that she is the person that she is looking for.

Albeit shorter, her hair sparks the same colors as her, as does as her porcelain white skin. The woman was too immersed in a novel that she was reading to notice her. Even with her head down Shiraishi Mai understands why people always note their resemblance.

“Is there anything I could help you with?” The woman suddenly looked up as their eyes met.

She didn’t even realize that she had somehow approached her and now standing next to her in a meter away distance. Back then she was troubled, she was always too focused on deciding whether to meet her or not that she has never thought about what she wants to say the woman.

Does she need to bluntly say that she’s her child? If she does, how? Shiraishi Mai realizes that it is pretty absurd to suddenly announce you’re a girl that she has left before you can even stand up properly.

What if she never wanted to see her from the first place? Maybe that’s the reason why it’s hard to find the woman.

But before she could finally say anything, a loud crying disrupts their moment, followed by the woman sudden movement to stand up and go to where the sound came.

The sound came from a little girl, she was probably around 5 years old, and from her words between her sobs, it sounds like she was playing hide and seek with the other kids around but they somehow run back home when she was the one that supposed to be the seeker.

The woman softly pats her back, kneeling a little so she is even lower than the little girl's eye level, making it easier for her to see the young girl’s face, she wiped the tears from the little girl cheek as she started to talk softly to her. The loud sounds of the girl bawling cover the sounds that came from the woman’s mouth, making it impossible for Shiraishi to grasp their conversation.

When the young girl finally nodded and calmed down a little she took a peek to where Shiraishi is standing and that’s when she could see her features clearly.

Just like how she is a striking resemblance to her mother, the young girl is also the same. Even though she’s still so young that her face still a bit bubbly, she could still see it. The same mesmerizing white skin, the same light-colored hair, same almond-shaped eyes with the deep brown orbs.

“Ah, I see,” Shiraishi accidentally said it out loud instead of keeping it for her own thought, her lips formed a bitter smile as her heart feels like it’s being tugged.

“Mom, who is that?” the girl asked, raising her eyebrows as she pointed at Shiraishi.

“N- nobody,” Shiraishi answered before the woman could say anything or even worse ask her the same question, “I thought you were someone I know but turns out I was wrong.”

The little girl frowned as she looks back and forth between the woman and Shiraishi, probably realizing their resemblance.

Shiraishi remembers what her father had said, how it could be different than what she imagined and her brain match the current situation for its answer. She couldn’t blame her, 17 years is not a short time. It’s not that surprising during that time, the woman has found someone else to build a family with.

“I’m sorry for bothering you,” she said reluctantly, not knowing what to do next before finally decide to take a step closer to the little girl, “can I ask your name?”

“Hina. Wakatsuki Hina,” the girl answered.

“Hina-chan, then. Well, you see, that kind of friend they are no good. If I were you I would ditch them and try to make friends with someone else.”

She looks at the girl longer than she should. A thinge of envy sparks in her heart, knowing that the girl has one thing that she wants the most. The girl looks confused for the sudden advice then nodded.

“I’m taking my leave then. Again, I’m sorry for bothering you,” she said, this time directing her words straight to the woman as she smiled a little, “I.. um… Your daughter, she’s lucky to have you. She loves you very much.”

She didn’t wait for the woman to answer, she quickly turned her back on her before she could even finish her own sentence, walking as fast as possible, trying not to drop her tears right there and then.

However, when she reached the stairs that will lead her to the parking lot of the park, she met her.

Shiraishi's interaction with the person ever since the time where she punched her out of nowhere was almost nonexistent, the girl pretty much giving her a grim look whenever they passed each other in the school, but today when she still hadn’t realized that Shiraishi is there she looks different.

Instead of the prominent scowl that she had thought to be her main feature, the girl is smiling cheerfully, carrying plastic bags on both of her hands as she talks with the man beside her that is most likely her father.

She halted her movement when she spotted her looking, then decided to gave Shiraishi a brief nod before continuing to walk straight ahead. Thinking that it is purely coincidental. Shiraishi could also feel the girl’s father looking at her way too long than a simply a passerby looking at someone.

Shiraishi drops her gaze to the pathway, trying not to ignore their looks as her eyes searching for her chauffeur and once she found him she silently follows him back to her car.

From her window she could see them, the woman that is her birth mother starting to pull out several paper plates from the picnic basket on the mat, the young girl that was just crying a few minutes ago is now cheerfully throwing herself into the man’s arm, the latter pick her up and let her ride his shoulders. Among them, the girl that is also her underclassman is smiling brightly.

“Ojou-san, shall we go straight back home or do you have any other plans in mind?” her chauffeur snapped her out of her deep observation.

Shiraishi looks to where her mother is, then took her phone from her pocket, pressing one of the speed dial keys that connects her to the only person outside her main family that knows her situation.

The person picked up her call after it rings for several seconds.

“N-Nanase-chan. Are you free right now?” she asked as soon as the person picked up the call.

‘Not really, I am currently at Reika cha- Sakurai Reika chan’s place. We are baking a cake as tomorrow is Yumi-chan birthday. But I’m going to be free somewhere later in the evening.’

Shiraishi looks to the park again, spotting the girl mentioned currently trying to hide her embarrassment as her little sister put a pink party hat on her head, “Wakatsuki-san, huh.”

‘What’s wrong, senpai?’ the girl asked seemingly realized her odd antics.

“Nothing. Enjoy your weekend.” She didn’t say any parting words or even wait for the other girl to reply before flipping her phone shut. She looks in the rearview mirror of the car, catching the gaze of her chauffeur who is currently looking at her in concern, “to the batting practice ground.”

“Ojou-san, I am sure that we can go straight back ho-”

“-just take me to the batting ground. Please,” she cut his suggestion off, trying to keep herself away from crying, “right now, I don’t want to see anyone that I know.”

As the car slowly started to move, she took a last look at the family in the park. Telling herself that at least her mother get to be in a loving family and she seems truly happy with them. That should be enough for her, right? It’s not like Shiraishi Mai couldn’t live without her as that’s how it always been ever since she could barely even walk.

Even until this day, she realized that if her emotion is kicking in she would feel nothing but regret. Regretting her decision to come to the park that day, to approach that woman, to let herself be seen by the rest of Wakatsuki's family. But another part of her would feel like she’s winning because even though she didn’t actually get everything that she wants, at least, she managed to snatch it away from the younger girl that’s sitting beside her right now.

Just like her mother she truly is a horrible person.

“Mai, um.. here,” her mother suddenly decided to break the tension in the air, her hands moved and pulled out an envelope from her designer handbag, “there are some other things that I would like you to know. But I think it’s better if it’s not said out loud, so here.”

Shiraishi just looks at the envelope on the woman hands stiffly, not even trying to make any move to accept it. The woman smiled bitterly before putting it in front of her daughter, then she averted her gaze to her other daughter who has been nothing but silent the whole time, “have you thought any plan to counter the government?”

“Of course, we have, but I’m sorry, I’m not going to say it,” Wakatsuki answered apologetically.

Then suddenly the logic in Shiraishi’s head kick in, even without mentioning it, it’s really obvious what they’re going to do. Somehow she had started to speak to confirm her suspicion, “wait isn’t it obvious? I mean from the first place they don’t really have a chance of winning me over. You haven’t been there from the beginning, you left me with my father, not even making any attempt to look out for me like until the last 24 hours before the accident, well we could say 2 months before the accident but watching my performance without even notifying me wouldn’t count much. From the first place, you have no rights on me. My father is the one who has. He is my official guardian.”

“People can’t be an official guardian from the grave, Mai. Technically, as your birth mother, I am now your official guardian.”

Shiraishi was taken aback with her first statement, her brain spaced out for a moment, leaving a nagging headache once she was finally able to process the words. She clenched her hand, trying to push away the headache in vain, “of course, right. Well, we just have to make do with your initial suggestion then, convince them that I am an adult who needs no guardian.”

She glanced at the envelope who lays just an inch away from her fingers and took it before standing up, the two other women around her look at her in a questioning manner. “I need to go to the restroom.”

She didn’t even wait for their reaction before sliding the door opened and went straight to follow the restroom sign, could only hope that they would be kind enough to let her have her moment by herself. She spins the sink’s faucet, letting the cold water run across her hands, gathering some amount of it before splashing it onto her face, hoping it would help to calm herself a little.

She was shaking and her eyes starting to turn red even without any trace of tears. She closed her eyes for several minutes, hoping that would help her situation. Then she stared at her reflection in the mirror, telling herself that it is okay, that she needs to keep herself calm, at least, until she got back into Nogizaka building and speak about the matter personally with her sister.

Afraid that she was taking too long she walked back to where her mother and Wakatsuki are, but before she could even enter the booth she accidentally overheard their conversation as the door is apparently still not closed.

She halted, waiting to eavesdrop the conversation instead entering the room.

“I need to check on her, make sure that she is okay,” came Wakatsuki voice.

“Wait! Before you go, there is something that I want to give you.” Shiraishi could hear the soft sounds of a zipper before her mother voice came again, “your father mentioned that you are thinking of taking the next step with your girlfriend. Here-”
For a moment there was silence, Shiraishi is trying her best to keep herself from taking a peek to see what’s happening, thankfully before her patience runs out the younger woman said, “I don’t need it. I don’t want my relationship with Reika has anything to do with the family. Just like I don’t want to have anything to do with it too.”

“You know it’s not that simple, your family has enemies. It’ll be dangerous for her,” they went silent for a few seconds before her mother said again, “at least with this, she is officially in the family too, that way she would have the full protection and wouldn’t be a weak link that people could take an advantage of.”

Both went silence for a while again, she could imagine Wakatsuki having face full objection to whatever it is that the woman is trying to give her.

“I haven’t gotten a chance to talk to her much, but from what I have heard she sounds like a great person. This is for her best too. Please do think about it.”

“Fine then. And yes, she is amazing.”

“You are also an amazing person too, I am glad that the two of you found each other. I am really proud of you, Yumi.”

And upon that sentence, Shiraishi felt suffocated and bitter. Who was she kidding with?

From the beginning, she’s competing in a battle that she could never win, her pathetic accidental attempt to ruin the other girl family didn’t erase the fact that her mother raised Wakatsuki Yumi and her sister, not her.

From the beginning, she had been tossed away as all she is nothing but a miserable reminder of the woman’s mistake.

She took a step back, accidentally bumped into the waitress that was serving them before in progress. The girl looked at her in confusion, “Shiraishi-san? Do you need any help in anything?”

“I-” she could hear her own voice breaking as her vision got a bit blurry because of her eyes had somehow started to water, “I need to go.”

And she ran.

She ran faster than she usually did when they checked her physique. Dashing out of the café within a matter of seconds, taking a random turn without even caring of where her foot is leading her too, not even caring about how her lungs are screaming from rigorous activity, and her brain feels like it’s being ripped apart.

She finally stopped when she realized that her phone has been ringing. Probably they had realized that she had run from the café, however, instead of picking it up she turns off the phone, making it impossible for them to reach her.

Shiraishi wondered if she was feeling like this back then, back when she had finally seen her mother in the park. She can’t remember if it was this painful or not, however, she could remember wanting to go away from everyone.

Just like what she wants to do right now.

~To Be Continued~

Hiiii! So this chapter is continuing from where we left off when Maiyan meets her mother. Here we know more about them and a plot twist that is Wakatsuki Yumi, tbh at first I wanted to have Miona instead of Hinachima for Waka's sister, then I realize that if I put Chima it would make more sense as Chima sort of looks like Shiraishi more than Miona, so then we can assume that just like Shiraishi Chima took after her mother while Waka is taking after her father.  :)

And ooh can you see that I'm hinting something about Waka's relationship? ;)

I really hope this is not too complicated because somehow it will become messier as the story goes.  :nervous but if you feel like there's something that you still don't understand and please do ask me via replies or personal message or whatever way you can use to do so, I'd be happy to clarify, in fact, it would probably point out which point that I still need to work on more.

We will see another flashback of Maiyan story about a two or three chapter after this and after that, it's pretty much going to be Nanase's arc. FINALLY! lol trust me I also long for us to get to that arc soon  :cathappy:

So again thanks a lot for reading, I am always happy whenever I see a reply. Even if it is just a simple "Thanks for your work". So please do leave a reply if you feel like doing so  :deco:

Just as usual, sorry for the mistakes  :bow:


Maiyan being so nice giving the coat and the scarf....wahhhh Naachan being mesmerized by her...I also love it when Maiyan gets mesmerized by imagination gets wild.
Maiyan is actually a nice person, just as much as Nanase is, she just has a completely different circumstances that makes her a jerk back then. I'm glad that I was able to take you to your wildest imagination then  :ptam-aww: I hope you're also reading this chapter and liking it, well it's more sad than fluffy but still-  :nervous

The way they met was cute ... it would be great if we could read more moments of them :heart:  :heart:
I hope to read more of WakaRei and that you can update soon
More moments of them will come a bit later, as now we are focusing more on maiyan's family situation. But I assure you there are some in the plot  :) It's not exactly WakaRei moment but in this chapter I'm hinting that they're totally going to take the next step  XD Thanks for the comment! Sorry if my updates aren't soon enough  :bow:

is there anything happen between waka and nanase? what waka means with 'three of us'

this story getting more interesting as it grew.. btw, when will you update sayo imi? i think i missed nanamin badly right now... seriously

Yes, something happened between waka and nanase, that's also one of the reasons why Maiyan was able to get closer to nanase, we will know more about this on Nanase's arc. And about the 'three of us' if you notice it, the friendship isn't just about waka and nanase, there's someone else in their best friend circle  :)

I updated SayoImi a few days ago, sorry it took so long, but there wasn't much of Nanamin as it is justifying Asuka's reason for that camera snatching moment. The next chap definitely will have more Nanamin  :D It's okay I also miss nanamin a lot :on speedy: That aside, I hope you will like this chapter as well, your replies always made my day  :deco:
« Last Edit: October 01, 2017, 12:03:47 PM by finiarel »

Offline wakaten

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Re: Sakanatachi No Love Song [Nogizaka46] [Chapter XV || 011017]
« Reply #81 on: October 01, 2017, 03:10:02 PM »
wait waittt... what the heck is going on here? didn't see that coming tho... are you saying that the wakamai i shipped so much is actually stepsister???!!! too much shock to handle.. yes, i have a lot to say with this chapter, so i will do it in numbering...

1) since when waka know mai is her mother's daughter?? if she knew just recently or maybe long time ago, i want to know her reaction so bad... well since she already hate maiyan because of nanase, i think she has more reasons to hate maiyan tho (i didn't like this actually but that what makes it so interesting and different)  :fainted:

2) i also want to know if nanase and reika know this too and of course their reaction.. or if not, how would they react upon knowing this.. what a drama...  :banghead: :banghead:

3) ahhh yeah yeahhh finally.. a sneakpeak into wakarei's life. and they're getting MARRIEDDD!! (i hope my prediction is right)  :wigglypanda: my wild imaginations cannot take this anymore.. too much things at the same time.. but i'm seriously happy with this..

4) and.... waka's family sounds so dangerous...

“You know it’s not that simple, your family has enemies. It’ll be dangerous for her,” they went silent for a few seconds before her mother said again, “at least with this, she is officially in the family too, that way she would have the full protection and wouldn’t be a weak link that people could take an advantage of.”

awww waka mama so sweet.... i'm glad that her family approve their relationship.. much more proud to have reika (soon to be wakatsuki reika) in their family..   :hee: :hee:

5) last..

“I haven’t gotten a chance to talk to her much, but from what I have heard she sounds like a great person. This is for her best too. Please do think about it.”

“Fine then. And yes, she is amazing.

in what terms reika is so amazing in your eyes waka??  :glasses:

fuhh, i don;t know i had so much to say.. wel, thanks for update and PLEASE UPDATE ASAP (just kidding)
is my comments makes your day again??  :luvluv1:

btw, i just realized you update sayo imi few days ago, haven't read it but i will do it later (need time to heal from this great chapter)
"It's best to just prepare for the worst, cause if your expectations are low, there is no real chance of being disappointed. or well mostly."

nobody stay anyway.

Offline Janix123

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Re: Sakanatachi No Love Song [Nogizaka46] [Chapter XV || 011017]
« Reply #82 on: October 01, 2017, 03:27:58 PM »
Welcome back finiarel-san. I still haven't comment on the previous update in SayoImi. Its been a long time since the last update but it was worth the wait. I actually Love the one shot 'Then'. Do you have plans on writing another one??

My thoughts in this chapter was that I feel sorry for Maiyan for feeling that way. For me, it's just so sad because at first she was ecstatic on meeting her mother but turns out bad.

I totally feel Maiyan when it comes to those situations on where she felt like being alone for awhile. Huhuhuhuhuhu

Waka and Maiyan's relationship sure is complicated...Wakarei at its finest...Nanase and Maiyan ought to make some development Hahahahaha

Btw thanks for the update
Hehehe. I'm a person who can't help but love AKB48 Group. I'm a silent reader please treat me well. I'm the kind of person who gets crazy over my favorite pairings

 :wigglypanda: :onioncheer: :onioncheer: :onionwhip: :onionwhip: :cool1: :cool1: :onionwhip: :onionwhip: :onioncheer: :onioncheer:  :wigglypanda:

Offline clin-nolan

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Re: Sakanatachi No Love Song [Nogizaka46] [Chapter XV || 011017]
« Reply #83 on: November 09, 2017, 05:06:11 AM »
I did not expect them to be sisters  :panic: :panic:
Now I have even more curiosity about Maiyan's story
I hope you can update when it is possible for you  :D :twothumbs

Offline finiarel

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Sakanatachi No Love Song [Nogizaka46] [Chapter XVI || 061217]
« Reply #84 on: December 06, 2017, 12:48:22 AM »

Dearest Mai,

There is nothing that I want more than to explain everything that has happened and answers every single of your question. But as you know, it is not safe for both of us. Hence, albeit limited this letter is the safest way to give you some explanation.

I was raised in an area full of filth, where most of its residents are addict or mule. When you live in that kind of environment, sooner or later it will catch up with you, and that’s basically what happened with me. The difference is instead of being a drug smuggler or maker, I destroyed other drug rings that oppose my own. I am a saboteur, that’s how they usually call it, I make sure that my employer is clear from any business opponent.

Back then, there is one division in Nogizaka company who’s selling their restricted drugs into public, making them one of the parties that need to be taken down. This is where I met your father, who was the young CEO and also the owner of the company. Everything that occurs within the company is restricted to one another, making it really hard to uncover which division is my target, so in order to find the answer, under the disguise of a new secretary I seduced your father.

When I found out I was pregnant, my world turns upside down, however, I know that it is fair to inform your father about you. He was ecstatic, to the point of asking me to marry him. Knowing that was a bit impossible, I told him the truth, but still, he wants you. After some thorough investigation, he discovered the division that illegally sells some of its product to the public and shut it down. My work was done, turns out it wasn’t that hard to do since selling restricted drugs to the public isn’t what the company is for.

Knowing that I would have to left him as soon as the work is finished, your father helped me to make up a fake scenario where I was exposed to one of the contagious virus, which caused me to be prohibited to go out in public. While the truth I moved into your father’s house, planning everything we could to welcome you to the world. For a moment, my life was normal.

But about three months after giving birth to you I know that staying is dangerous and all I want is for you to be able to live your life as normal and safe as possible. So, I made my choice to leave to return to my old life while keeping my time with your father and your secret.

Mai, it was my mistake for keeping tabs on you, which lured you into a dangerous situation. If it wasn’t for me you can live your life as you wish, I am aware of that. Which is why I am sorry. You probably wouldn’t be able to forgive me, ever, but still, I hope that at least you know that it was because I was trying to be a mother that you deserve, even now I still am.

Mai, my enemies are still out there and now that some of them know that you are my daughter, there is a possibility they will use you to get me. The government is offering to give me protection, which in turn I need to do some favor for them. I know that letting the government give you protection is not going to be good when we take into account of your condition now. Which is why I am trying to help you from my side.

I know that you are a good person. However, my very existence is a danger to you. Which is why after all of this is over I will stay out of your life and I’m hoping for you to understand and stay out of mine too.

Your Mother

Shiraishi squishes the letter on her hand into a ball, squeezing it harshly as if that could make it disappear from her hold. Her head is hurting and she keeps having difficulties in breathing as if something is blocking the air into her lungs. She let her body to leaned to her right side where a park lamp is standing, using the sturdy pole to keep her body from falling to the ground.

On her other hand, lay a small picture that she hasn’t seen before today. A picture of her father, with the biggest smile from him that she has ever seen. The man is carrying a baby that Shiraishi could recognize as herself, his eyes are looking at the baby in a careful manner as if he’s afraid that showing the girl to the camera will disturb the girl’s peaceful sleep. Although it’s outside of the focus range, Shiraishi could spot her mother at the background, laying on the hospital bed, looking exhausted but happy at the same time, probably glad that the man looks dependable enough to raise the child without her.

She doesn’t need to think hard to remember when was the last time she saw her father. That time she was even hiding from him, didn’t feel like talking to him at all. The last time where they actually talked is when he came into her place and she basically kicked him out by threatening to call the police. She somehow started to laugh bitterly. Her father was too good for her, she doesn’t deserve him, not even in the slightest.

Suddenly Shiraishi felt a liquid running from her nose, as well as a sudden unbearable pain coming from several parts of her body. She averted her gaze from the picture into her pocket, her hand weakly reach in to get her phone. Sliding her thumb over the screen to unlock it before sliding up to reveal the call keypad and dial one of her speed dial.

She wasn’t even sure if the dial tone has rung or not before the other party picks up the call.

‘Maiyan, where are you?’

To think about it, she doesn’t even know where she is. What she did is just run to wherever her legs bring her to, and somehow ended up in a park that she doesn’t think has visited before.

Shiraishi Mai is lost. She has no idea where she is nor that she has any strength to stand up and look around for a sign of her whereabouts. Her artificial legs have decided stopped responding to her brain command to move for a while.

“In a park but don’t… know… which” her voice breaks, she felt like she’s crying and laughing at her stupidity for the first time. What kind of person run away only to call someone to bring her back to the very same place that she is running away from? In the end, all she does is bringing the unnecessary problem, something that she realizes she’s actually good at.

‘It’s okay, we’ll find you, okay? I’ll find you,’ her voice sounds strange in her ear, it sounds distant, as if the other person is speaking from under water.

Shiraishi nodded even though she knows that the person that she’s speaking to wouldn’t be able to see it. Her hand that is not holding the phone rubs her temple, “it hurts… It hurts so bad.”

‘Mai! Mai! Hang in there, please. E affoujnd yulr scaoticon, wsall e tre isadm. J-.’

She can’t understand most of the words that she heard. It’s not that the sounds slowly fade from her ears, but rather, her brain couldn’t decipher it as if the words are incoherent. Jumbled.

It reminds her of that night. The night where she wasn’t able to do anything but painfully lay in the middle of the street, choking on her own blood, with the very same person’s voice to be the only thing that she could hear other than her own ragged breathing. Her eyes looking straight to where her own mother was standing. Looking at her with eyes full of guilt and remorse before finally turning her back on her, walking away as if she couldn’t see that her own daughter needs help.

Why didn’t she notice it sooner? Her father was the only one who wants her. Why couldn’t she read the situation with a rational mind? Her mother, who had the heart to abandon her when she was just a baby would totally have the heart to do the same when she is suffering from an impending death.

Shiraishi Mai isn’t afraid of dying, she never was. But instead, she is afraid of abandonment. She was afraid of her mother to leave her, just like how right now she is afraid that Nishino Nanase would hang up on their call.

Was it as painful as this back then? She honestly could not remember. But she knows that all she wants is to keep hearing the voice from her phone, to make sure that there is still a person who is trying to be with her.

“Nanase.… stay with me,” she pleaded as the last of her strength seems to leave her body and pull her into the darkness, “please…. Don’t leave me…”

Everything that happens after that is a blur for her.

She remembered someone shaking her, but when she opened her eyes everything was swirling that she can’t even distinguish who the person is, all that her ears could catch is a painful ringing, which is nothing in compares to her lungs that burns as if she’s inhaling a hot water instead of air- suffocating her in every breath she took, not to mention the most likely imaginary axe that swung into her head every two seconds.

She remembered seeing a really bright light, but the moment was short-lived as the darkness is quickly pull her back to their side once more. This occurs multiple times as if the darkness and the bright light is two people that are trying to pull her onto their side.

Every time, the darkness always won. Leaving her with emptiness and discomfort until the bright light come to her again. But no matter which side she is in, she’s always alone, both sides are just similarly unwelcoming to her.

Suddenly she can hear a distant voice. Ignoring her discomfort, Shiraishi tries to focus on that voice, making sense of every single word.

“- a child. You don’t need to tell me what to do,” a voice said curtly followed by a silence. She could hear some footsteps come and go. Not long after that, a gentle squeeze on her right-hand pulls her into consciousness more “Mai?”

Slowly she tried to open her eyes, blinking a couple of times to get used to the warm light of the place, “Nanase?”

She hasn’t even taken a good look at the girl to confirm her suspicion but the person has leaned forward and given her a hug. Slowly she raised her hands, letting it lay on the girlfriend’s back to keep their distance close.

“I’m so glad you are okay,” the girl mumbled before pulling back to give her a quick kiss on the forehead.

“Me too,” she exhaled, realizes that her agreement doesn’t really make a sense but chooses to ignore it as she doesn’t want to clarify. She isn’t glad because she is okay, she is glad that Nishino is there. She is glad that she is still by her side, unlike her mother, or her father.

Shiraishi perspiration suddenly hitched when her memories hit her. Every single thing overwhelms her brain, the thought of her old man, the thought that she practically is an orphan now, and the thought that she should be out there helping her sister to face the world without any guidance of parents instead of helplessly stuck in a facility.

“Listen to me, hey! Shiraishi-san,” another person who is standing next to the bed gently direct Shiraishi’s face to look at her, putting an oxygen mask to cover Shiraishi’s nose and mouth, “take a deep breath.”

Shiraishi tried to do as she is instructed but fail nonetheless. She reached for her chest as if to make sure her lungs are still there as it doesn’t seem to function, “can’t.”

“You can. Listen to me, you are hurting, it is hard to breathe, but you still can,” the person assures her with both hands on either of her shoulder, “try to do it with me. Take a deep breath,”

She could feel someone gently pried her hand away from her chest, giving it a gentle squeeze as if to encourage her. Shiraishi took a deep breath.

“Good. Now hold it in, 1..2, and let it go.”

And just like that, she feels a lot calmer and collected. The person smiled upon seeing this, Shiraishi can see the look of accomplishment on her face for getting the job done. Shiraishi tried to repeat the breathing pattern again and again until she feels like the obstacles that prevent the air from getting into her lungs is lifted a little, “thanks, Sakurai-san.”

“No need to thank me. Just remember that whenever you feel like it’s hard to breathe, use the oxygen mask and try to do that. You were having a panic attack, there was nothing wrong with your organs, at least it shouldn’t be as long as you try to breathe.”

“Okay,” she said, her voice sounds a bit weird because of the mask, “and when can I take this off?”

“Once you are feeling like you can breathe okay without it, but please don’t push yourself. You can also take it off and keep it somewhere in the reachable distance just in case it happens again,” Sakurai explained, observing the ceiling for the moment before looking back at her again, “I know that a lot has happened and most likely those are why you are hurting, but remember this, it was just a feeling. It hurts, but not physically. You have two option to handle this, embrace it or to tone it down by pushing it at the back of your mind.”

“I will keep that in mind.”

Sakurai nodded, seemingly satisfied with the answer she has gotten and took her leave, letting Shiraishi put her attention back to the girl who has been watching the whole ordeal in silent.

Shiraishi took the oxygen mask off, placing it next to her pillow before giving the girl a weak smile, she knows that she is still far from okay but she wants to assure her, “Nanase, don’t need to worry about me, okay?”

“If you say so,” the girl smiles albeit her eyes still looking sad, subtly nodded before taking a step back to sit down on a chair, letting two other women come closer so they could perform a check up on Shiraishi.

After some procedure that she is already familiar with, both of them took a step back. Fukagawa still busy scribbling on her notes and Hashimoto eyeing the oxygen mask next to her, the latter seems in a deep contemplation on how to start a conversation.

“So, how are you feeling?” she finally asked.

“Full of emotion. Did you accidentally overdose me again?”

“Actually no,” Hashimoto smiled a little. “In fact, we haven’t given you any dose since that time where you ran away with a lawyer.”

“It wasn’t like what you think!” she quickly tried to steer clear of any misunderstanding. A second after that she finally comprehends the whole sentence. “Wait, so I am currently not in any effect of emotion-inducing drugs?”

“No. Congratulation, Shiraishi-san, you did it. Well, we still have to keep you on close observation just in case, but so far it’s good.”

“I should be the one to congratulate you, if not for you I wouldn’t even be here now. Thank you so much, Hashimoto-san. And Fukagawa-san too.”

“You’re always welcome to pay us a nice dinner sometime later, I heard you have quite the taste,” Hashimoto teased with a slight chuckle.

“Don’t be rude, Nanamin,” Fukagawa reprimand the more superior scientist before turning her gaze on Shiraishi, “your welcome, Shiraishi-san. I have informed Ikuta-san that you are awake, she’s probably he-”

As if on cue the sound of the door sliding opened reached their ears, invoking Fukagawa to smile brightly, “and she’s here. We will take our leave then.”

The scientists did exchange a brief greeting with the young director before finally leaving the room, but after they are gone it’s basically just her, Nishino and the girl in the room.

“Should I leave?” Nishino asked, considering the current situation in mind.

Shiraishi shook her head, “no, it should be fine. Please, stay.”

Nishino sighed coming closer to the bed and give her a slight pat on the arm, “okay, let me get some water, do you want a glass too?”

“That would be good,” she nodded.

Ikuta clear her throat to gain her sister’s attention, calmly she started to speak, “about father. I am sorry that I didn’t tell you before.”

“What was it? The cause of his death, I mean,” she asked, ignoring the apology.

“Heart attack. I personally believe that he had a lot in mind, which cause a strain on his heart. You know that he has a heart problem.”

Shiraishi smiled bitterly, “yeah, he had always refused to get some help. What a complicated man, he didn’t even bother to question her daughter before helping her, yet didn’t do anything to help himself. He is too good that it is unfair to himself.”

“I wonder if that runs in the gene,” the younger girl remarked.

Shiraishi raised her eyebrows before deciding to brush it off, “where is he buried?”

“Next to mom. I can arrange you to visit him if you want,” Ikuta offers.

“There’s no need for that now, it’s fine. I want to focus on winning my own case first. Also, about my share of the company, I will take my claim on it as soon as the case is won. I will need your help to find some good advisor, though.”

Ikuta raised her eyebrows, wasn’t expecting Shiraishi to be more concerned about the company than her own father. “Well, if that’s what you want. Anyway, I heard from Sakurai-san you had a panic attack earlier, how are you holding up?”

“Much better actually. Sakurai taught me how to handle it, which works well for me up to this point. I don’t know if you’ve heard about this but I am currently emotionally functioning without the drugs.”

“I can see that,” Ikuta expression softened as the corner of her lips curled up into a smile, “just a little bit more and you can go home.”

“Really?” Shiraishi’s eyes widened, “Nanase, did you hear that? I can go back to sleep in our bed soon.”

On the other side of the room, Nishino is looking to anywhere but Shiraishi, noticing this Shiraishi’s eyebrows furrowed. She hadn’t gotten any chance to question her weird response because her attention is taken back by Ikuta soon after that.

“Eh- well, I can’t say for sure if you will be fit enough to live in your penthouse, I was referring to our home. The family’s house to be exact. Over there, there will be people that could help and check up on you every now and then,” the younger one corrected her statement.

Shiraishi frowns, not liking the fact that she can’t go back to her own place soon. Since her last year of senior high school, she has been living on her own, only coming back to the huge mansion once or twice a week to visit her sister or her father. The thought of coming back to the house without the presence of her father sitting down on the garden’s breakfast table in the morning bothers her.

“It’s okay I will come to visit you every day,” Nishino broke her train of thought and hand her a glass of water, “even if you could go back to our place you'd probably be alone since I’m currently living with Yumi-chan and Reika-chan anyway.”

“Just wait until the honeymoon, I’m pretty sure you’d be itching to move out by then,” Shiraishi muttered in annoyance, realizing the fact that Nishino is not living on their place anymore slipped out of her mind.

“Huh? What do you mean by that?”

Realizing her slip of tongue Shiraishi shrugged and drank every drop of water in the glass. She suddenly remembers that there is another matter that she wants to set straight and the thought of it reminds her of the accident. Shiraishi calmed herself using the method that Sakurai taught her, making sure that her breathing is already stable before reaching for her girlfriend, “Nanase, is Wakatsuki-san here?”

“Yes, she’s outside I suppose.”

“Then can you please call her in. Um- and Sakurai-san too. There’s something that I need to tell the two of you and also them,” Shiraishi explained.

Nishino looks confused on the unexpected request, but thankfully chose not to ask furthermore, “Okay then, I’ll be right back.” 

Seeing this Ikuta also looks at the girl on the bed with full curiosity, “is this about the café outing that you had with Wakatsuki-san?”

Shiraishi nodded, closing her eyes to calm down her pounding heart, her brain starting to select which one she needs to tell them and which one needs to be kept secret. She realizes that they need to know the truth. However, she is also aware that the topic could turn into something dangerous and there is no way she would put the people that she cares about in harm’s way just because of a foolish mistake that she made. Losing her father has taught her a lesson to protect the two people that she has left, keeping herself from losing someone ever again.

~To Be Continued~

Hiiiii! Sorry for being so slow  :bow: I was having a horrible writer's block  :bleed eyes:

Okay so this chapter starts with the letter that was given to Maiyan in last chapter, I was really torn on whether to include the letter or not, but after some consideration I feel like it's probably needed to understand the past. Just as planned the whole backstory centering around the accident will be told in the next chapter, I hope you'd be looking forward to that as well  :deco:

Thanks for reading,  :cow:


wait waittt... what the heck is going on here? didn't see that coming tho... are you saying that the wakamai i shipped so much is actually stepsister???!!! too much shock to handle..
told ya there will be plot twist  ;) but well, Wakamai romantic shipping will have to go to another story  :nervous

1) since when waka know mai is her mother's daughter?? if she knew just recently or maybe long time ago, i want to know her reaction so bad... well since she already hate maiyan because of nanase, i think she has more reasons to hate maiyan tho (i didn't like this actually but that what makes it so interesting and different)
I couldn't say much at this point, but I can say that you are right that Waka's reason for hating Maiyan is not just Nanase, her family also one of the reason why she doesn't like Maiyan that much.

2) i also want to know if nanase and reika know this too and of course their reaction.. or if not, how would they react upon knowing this.. what a drama...
I kind of let it known in this chapter that Nanase and Reika has yet to know about this, and Maiyan is going to come clean to them about it.

4) and.... waka's family sounds so dangerous.
waka mama so sweet.... i'm glad that her family approve their relationship.. much more proud to have reika (soon to be wakatsuki reika) in their family..
in what terms reika is so amazing in your eyes waka?? 
Yes, Waka's family is kind of dangerous. and all hail the WakaRei ship  :cow: About why Reika is amazing in Waka's eyes, I'd leave that to your imagination  XD

Thank you so much for the comment. I was surprised you even put it in bullet points  :shocked it flatters me that you are into this story at least as much as I am into writing it  :twothumbs

Hi there  :)

I actually Love the one shot 'Then'. Do you have plans on writing another one??

My thoughts in this chapter was that I feel sorry for Maiyan for feeling that way. For me, it's just so sad because at first she was ecstatic on meeting her mother but turns out bad.

I totally feel Maiyan when it comes to those situations on where she felt like being alone for awhile. Huhuhuhuhuhu

Waka and Maiyan's relationship sure is complicated...Wakarei at its finest...Nanase and Maiyan ought to make some development Hahahahaha

About writing another one shot, I can say that I have plan on writing another one. Probably not as thorough as 'Then' but still it counts for something. My main problem now is that I've been really bad in managing my time. Something that I'm really trying to fix during the past couple of days  :panic:

And yes, Maiyan past is full of people leaving her and that kind of shape the person she is now.

Awww, I sometimes feel like being alone, but sitting still and contemplates on my problem usually doesn't work well for me, I'm more of a distraction person, the more problem that I have the more I'd try to distract myself with pointless stuff.

All abroad the WakaRei ship. And yea sorry if WakaMai relationship is too complicated :nervous NanaMai development would need to wait as the two of them still has some unspoken problem. The story will work towards how are they going to handle this and the outcome  :glasses:

Thanks for the comment, I hope you'd like this chapter as well  :cow:

I did not expect them to be sisters  :panic: :panic:
Now I have even more curiosity about Maiyan's story
I hope you can update when it is possible for you  :D :twothumbs
Hi there  ;)
I'm so glad I totally got you with the plot twist, that kind of assures me that it's working just as I planned  :cathappy:
There are still more about Maiyan past, I'll do my best to deliver them  :cow:
Thanks for the comment, hoping you are liking the new chapter as well  :deco:
« Last Edit: December 06, 2017, 12:58:04 PM by finiarel »

Offline clin-nolan

  • Member
  • Posts: 19
Re: Sakanatachi No Love Song [Nogizaka46] [Chapter XVI || 061217]
« Reply #85 on: December 09, 2017, 03:04:42 AM »
Hello  :D
I liked this chapter although the letter made me feel a bit sad for Mai  :sweatdrop:
My expectations were overcome  :twothumbs
I have no idea what Maiyan wants to say to WakaRei  :panic: :panic:
I am anxious to know more about this story   :?
I hope that soon you update author-san  :bow: :heart: :heart:

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