Well, so I feel like I write to much as I see that all three of my fic topics are currently at the top... xD
But I just wrote this and can't help but post it! New chapter
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Chapter thirty-six: Fujimoto Miki
Shit do I really need to get my act together. It took another two hours after everyone else had finished for me to be able to even look at the camera straight to get some good pictures. I guess my mind is just somewhere else.
Oh yea, its thinking about how the hell am I going to confess to Yossui that she has been my eye candy and love for the past like four years! It’s the last night here and I don’t know if I will be able to do it when we get back to Japan. Just the thought of my poor Aya being near us when I tell Yossui I love her breaks my heart, even though I know it’s the right thing.
Hell, I don’t even know if Yossui loves me. I stopped in the middle of the hallway that was on the way to Yossuis hotel room and just stared at the floor. What if she really doesn’t love me? What will I do after that?
I shook my head trying to clear my thoughts. Thinking about this will just make me want to tell her less. But I love her…she needs to know.
With newly gained determination I started down the hallway again. It was a little past eleven at night and most people were asleep. Wait, what if Yossui is? Either way I have to try. Maybe I can wake her up and tell her? That could be potentially cute.
Aww I can see it now. A yawning little Yocchan, rubbing her eyes as she sat up and looked at me oddly. “So cute,” I said as I made my way to her door. Oh wait, people lock there doors don’t they? But when I twisted the handle it was not only unlock, but when I opened the door completely the lights were still on.
“Yossui?” I looked around and she was lying on her bed, still in work clothes. Awww, she must have been so exhausted she just fell asleep without even changing. No idea why but that strikes me as a very Yoshizawa thing to do.
As I got nearer to my sleeping beauty, I noticed that the area around her closed eyes seemed a little red. Like allergies or maybe she was crying before she went to bed? Aw damn it, sad thoughts of her crying. Although it would be cute to see, I also can’t stand the thought of her being sad. It just breaks my heart.
I knelt down next to the bed and peared over her. Her hair was slightly ruffled and she seemed so peaceful in sleep. Smiling I began to reach for her shoulder to lightly wake her up. I’m going to do it. I can’t believe it…but I’m going to- wait. Whats that?
In Yossuis right hand was a white envelope and next to her hand was…our friendship pendant! Maybe that meant she was thinking of me! I almost squealed at the thought. I know, me squealing…I even find it a shock myself.
But what’s with the letter? Haha maybe she was going to give that to me. Well, she won’t mind if I…slowly I pulled it out of her hand along with the pendant. Holding the pendant in my left hand and after extracting it from the envelope, the letter in my right I began to read.
Hitomi-chan
Forgive me for being so cowardly that I cannot say this to you in person. It’s taken me so many drafts already to finally know what I want to say. Well no, I know what I want to say (I’ve always known) but how to put it in to words.
From the moment I met you I knew we would be good friends. Not long after I knew that I wanted to be more. My wish was granted for many wonderful years that we spent together.
Then one day my stupid jealousy took over and I ruined something beautiful and pure. My unjust suspicion hurt both you and I. Truly, I am sorry from the deepest reaches of my heart. I made a mistake a wish to fix it if it is not too late to do so.
Since that day when you were no longer mine I haven’t felt whole once. No matter how many people I surround myself with I always feel empty. No matter how many times I try to separate myself from you I find my mind thinking about you constantly. I hurt at the most random moments without you. Without knowing you are going to be waiting for me at home I have no motivation to do anything to my fullest capabilities. Your touch elates me and burns my skin at the same time.
I am sorry for being so jealous. I just want you back and to know you love me if you still do. Please if you feel the same let me know.
And even if you don’t just talk to me more sometimes. Maybe I will learn to get over you eventually…
I love you, I need you
Your Charmy! Ishikawa Rika
My heart shattered a little more with every word. Yossui had given Rika…OUR friendship pendant.
I let it and the letter drop from my hand and land on the floor with a soft thump. I could feel the tears beginning to form as I glanced around the room almost in a panic.
How could I have been so stupid!? Yossui and Rika had always been happy together. It was just a matter of time before they got back together. Even after they broke up they could go out and laugh and have a good time. I never understood how you could do that with an ex until now.
Rika still loves Yossui. And its now apparent that I was never, and never will be, more important to her than Rika. The pendant is proof of that. I stood for probably a half hour just letting my eyes wander around the room in shock. I had been so naïve…so stupid. I wanted to punch myself in the face.
I have to get out of here.
Quickly I gathered the letter and pendant back up and set them near Yossuis hand so she would just think she dropped them. Turning to leave, something stopped me.
Perhaps it was how beautiful and tranquil she looked as she slept. Or maybe its because I knew I could never have her when she was conscious. But I turned back and planted a very light kiss on Yossuis lips.
When I pulled away the tears began to stream down my face. She stirred a little and I quickly exited the room, slamming the door a little as I left.
As I cried walking down the hallway, I reached up and touched my lips with my hand. It’s official, the kiss proved it.
I love Yoshizawa Hitomi.
But I now know, that will forever be our first and last kiss. There is nothing more I can do. “Too late…” I whispered to myself.
I couldn’t even make it past the first step into my hotel room before collapsing into a heap, sobbing my heart out. Why couldn’t I have stayed with the safe bet? It would have hurt so much less.
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and yes, I understand that the letter is...complete cheese
I havn't even reread it since I wrote it back when I was on chapter twenty or so
and I probably wont read it again
because I don't particularly care for it...and still find it necessary.
Topic: Settling (chapter 38-FIN) (Read 59245 times)