Chapter 18 – Confusion
[Part 1]
//////// flash back from chapter 17////////
The weather is getting bad, the sky is getting dark and the rain was falling heavily. The students have gone back and the teachers decided to end the activity because of the bad weather.
They were about to go home when Yuki noticed that Mayu is missing because she was looking for her.
“Yuko, did you see Mayu?” Yuki worriedly asked
“eh? shiriri-chan? Didn’t saw her, wait! Is my sister missing?! You go ask the others first and I’ll inform the teachers, okay?” yuko rushed to inform the teachers and the staffs who is responsible for the students safety
Then Yuki asked Rena and Jurina for help to ask the other students.
Sae happened to overheard that Mayu was missing
“eh?!” sae shouted in her mind, she was worried, she rushed to Yuko to asked what happened
“yuko did you already asked the staffs and body guards to look for her?” sae asked with a worried and panicked expression
“yes I already asked them, the teachers too are asking the students where did the last place they saw mayu” yuko replied
“she’s really worried, I can see it in her face there’s also a guilt showing in her expression… or I just thought” *sigh* yuko thought when she recalled again about the `accident` that Jurina had told her
“Sae, are you okay?” Sayaka asked, she know that her girlfriend might be really worried about her childhood friend
“Sayaka, I’ll go look for her, wait for me okay”
“eh? then I’ll go with you sae”
“no, please just stay here okay?”
“the weather is getting worst, let the staffs and guards look for her” yuko said stopping Sae
“no! I’ll look for her!”
“but, sae…”
“I’ll go look for her!”
“Are you an idiot?! What if you also get lost and can’t find her? Then the staffs will just have more problems looking for you” acchan scolded her, she might be blunt but they knew what acchan said was true
But despite of what acchan said, sae rushed to the forest to look for mayu
“I know that you’re worried for her but don’t follow her!” yuko reprimanded to stop Sayaka as she was about to follow sae in the forest.
*sigh* “what an idiot… I’ll just go tell sensei that sae rushed to the forest to look for mayu, so that they can tell it to the staffs to also look for her”
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-- Few days passed --
The basketball club was having a practice for the upcoming sports competition between elite schools but Sae can’t seem to concentrate, more like she was spacing out after what happened during the last time’s activity (tree planting activity).
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Sae’s POV
“sae look out!” I heard my girlfriend shouted at me
We were having a practice match, I didn’t saw that my team mate passed me the ball and the ball was heading directly on my face. Before it was able to hit me, I was able to block it but I lost my balance.
“Sae! Are you okay?” I saw my girlfriend rushing towards me with a worried expression
“mmm…” I instantly replied, I don’t want to see her worried but somehow I was really happy that she’s too worried about me.
She signaled the other members to continue practicing, the other members followed but I heard her best friend (yuka) said something to her
“Sayaka-chan, just let her rest alone.” Her best friend said
“I’ll just accompany her for a bit till she feels better” my girlfriend replied, she’s really worried about me…
“captain! We should practice, she can take care of herself, she’s the cool senpai whom everyone adores right?!” her best friend said… geez, she really don’t like me… what should I do… I don’t want to tell Sayaka not to get close with her friends, I know she will get angry… but… what if… *sigh* never mind…
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“Sae-chan please don’t make me choose!”
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A crying voice from a certain person suddenly flashed on my mind… now, I’m feeling anxious… several thoughts are running through my head… a several what ifs
The past is haunting me… I’m frightened
“Just a few minutes, I really need to see if she’s really okay, please just resume the practice without me! Onegai!” Just when I was feeling frightened, hearing that my girlfriend is really that worried about me and choose me over what her friend said makes me reassured
`She wouldn’t choose her best friend over me right?` that thought flashed my mind as I stare at my girlfriend who was now checking for my temperature
“good thing you don’t have a fever” she seems relieved
“hehe, I’m just feeling tired a while ago but I’m okay now sayaka~” I forced to sound cheerful so that she would worry less… I don’t want to see her sad face…
She raised her eyebrow not believing what I told her, this girl really sees through me… she knows if I’m feeling unwell…
She accompanied me to our clubroom, and let me lay on the bench near the lockers…
“sae? Are you okay? Feeling better now?” she asked
“mmm~” I nod as I hold her hand, locking our fingers together as I closed my eyes
“sae, you should go home now, if you’re feeling tired. Please, you should get some rest” she said… *sigh* this girl… she’s trying to take care of me but doesn’t know how, not romantically at least…
“don’t want to go home yet, we’ll go home together” I replied, I was expecting that she would blush on what I said but when I looked at her I just saw her worried face… geez…
“Then just sleep here okay? I’ll be back, I’ll just check on our members” she said and I pouted on reply, I’m a little disappointed… this girlfriend of mine is really unromantic *sigh*
“Sayaka, sleep with me~” I teased her pleading cutely as a puppy
“eh?” she replied, a tint of redness appears on her whole face… I really love teasing my girlfriend like this…
“haha, I’m okay now Sayaka… you should go back to the practice” seeing her blushed like that because of me makes me really happy…
“t-then I’ll be back after practice, you should s-sleep now okay?” she said, her face was still red…
I closed my eyes and started drifting off to sleep…
-------- sae’s dream --------
“Why do you always prioritize her over me?!”
“why am I always second?!”
“why! Why do you always favor her?”
“I thought you love me? You said that you like me!? Why are you always paying attention to her?”
“why is she your priority?”
“Yuki, who is more important?! Just tell me already!”
.
“just choose me already, you said you loved me right?”
.
.
“if mayu didn’t came to our life, yuki would only look at me!”
“Yuki, who do you love more?! Is it me or Mayu?! Just choose already!”
.
.
.
.
.
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“No! Mayu! Yuki!”
“Mayu, Yuki, wake up… please”
.
.
.
“…it’s all my fault”
.
“I’m sorry”
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“I’m really sorry”
.
.
“sorry… sorry… I’m really sorry…”
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“ -up! Sae! Sae wake up!” I heard Sayaka waking me up
“ah- ” I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend’s worried face
“is it a bad dream?” she anxiously asked
“mmm… somehow” I replied forcing a smile, it’s a dream I don’t want to remember… the past is really haunting me…
“sae, if you’re having any problems or if something is bothering you, please don’t bear it alone” she said, a hurtful look can be seen in her face
“hehe~ no need, I’m genki!”
“Sae!” she raised her voice…
“I know there’s something troubling you” she insisted but I don’t want to talk about that
“nothi-” I tried to say nothing but I was startled when she reached her hand to my face, wiping my tears…
“eh?” I didn’t know I’m crying…
“please, I don’t want to see you being like this.. I’m always here for you, please let me know if I can do something or if I can’t do something about your problems then I’ll just listen to it, I’ll stay beside you… so please…”
I didn’t replied… instead I just hugged her…
We were walking home together but Sayaka said she forgot something in the clubroom, I would’ve accompany her but she insisted that I should wait, probably she’s still worried about me being tired
I was standing the school’s hallway waiting for Sayaka to get back when I heard a familiar voice
“mayu?” I was surprised to see her approaching me
“I just want to say thanks about last time, I heard you looked for me. I just don’t want to have a feeling of gratitude towards you” she said but I can’t think of something to say, my mind seems blank so I just nod
“uhm I want to ask” she looks serious, I was really anxious
“why did you saved me last time? Why did you insisted to look for me?” I was surprised by her question
“well- I was worried about you, I-I don’t want that to happen to you again” I said to her,
“huh? What happened to me again?” she asked me as if she doesn’t know
“well about that time… mayu I’m sorry” I don’t really want to talk about that accident happened that time… actually I’m feeling anxious, I was worried, I was scared, I wanted to run away
“What about that time? What again? I don’t get you, why are you saying sorry?”
Eh? she didn’t remember what happened? !
“mayu, about that acci-” I was about to ask her if she can remember that accident when yuki suddenly showed up
“Mayu! Sae-chan! It’s been forever since I saw you two together” she said, she was rather happy seeing mayu and I talking, since when we’re young she always want us to get along
“sae… i-” yuki called me but I averted my gaze and saw mayu furious… mayu walked away…
“mayu? What’s wrong? Wait! Mayu?! Wait for me” yuki called her when mayu suddenly walked away… I can only stare at them
`you always chase after her… you already chose between us… that time I knew you would choose her… if only I hadn’t be selfish that time`
“Hehe… “ I can only helplessly giggle at this situation, I don’t know now what I’m feeling right now…
Tears… it’s just flowing in my eyes…
“sae?” I felt a sudden light tap on my shoulders, just when I was feeling down I know sayaka would save me…
“what happened?” she asked, again I didn’t replied I just hugged her and she hugged me back
“sae, you’re really a cheerful person I know but if you’re not feeling well it’s okay to cry, I’ll be beside you. Please don’t bear your problems alone, I’m here. Please don’t force a smile on your face, it hurts.” She asked as she hugged me tighter
I’m really glad I have met Sayaka…
“I’m okay, since you’re here… just please love me because of what I am… Sayaka, please stay by my side”
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