“I prefer the front row to stand in 2 until 5 line, so when we crouch down the back row will be seen”
“ It’s not like that you have to make your body follow the rhythm, as if you are boneless.”
“ I’m not karaage Sayanee, I’m not good in dancing, I’m not good as you”
“ Shut up, Momoka. That’s why I’m here to teach you.”
I looked at you, teaching some of the members on how to perfect their choreography. Even though it was good already, but you are you, tried to achieve the perfect success. You were always there, teaching, leading in a firmly way you could. You were known as hot tempered person, not at you almost kicked Aina when she tried to drink your juice. My grip on my bottle getting hard as I see you touches our junior, leading her, dancing with her. What is this feeling? Why do I watching you? I should be practicing now. But why my eyes keep looking at you?
“Milky? Can you move abit to the right? Seems like the chereo was crowded, I discussed with trainer that we can change this part.” Long haired Sayaka said.
Miyuki moved, and she slipped down on the cold ground.
“Milky are you okay!? Are you hurt somewhere?!” Sayaka touched Miyuki’s body, inspecting if there any wound. Everyone stopped dancing, concerning Miyuki.
Miyuki’s face goes red, is she dreaming? Yamamoto Sayaka concerns about her. Sayaka’s face were really worried. And not to mention, Sayaka touched her body tried to find if there is any wounds. Why she felt happy? What is this butterfly flying in her stomach? No it couldn’t be, this is not novels she always read when she got bored.
“Milky your face is red! Are you in fever? You shouldn’t have come to the practice!” Sayaka said worriedly.
“I’m fine Sayanee, maybe I didn’t watch myself when I move. I was in my mind but thank you Sayanee”
“are you sure you’re okay?” Sayaka asked.
Miyuki blushes “yeah just need take five”
“alright then, go rest for some minutes, we’re not gonna ruin our first double center aren’t we?” Sayaka smiled. Miyuki was in a cloud nine.
“Alright everyone! Continue your work!”
Miyuki always wonder, what is this feeling? What is this feeling of looking at someone intensely that you felt like you could have anything if you had them? What is this feeling that longing? You missing someone they do not know you are there. What is this feeling of trying to win that person attention? What is this jealous feeling that hurts when they hold someone’s hand?
She asked her mom about this, yet her mom just smiled and told her “only you can decide your own feelings, honey.”
Miyuki didn’t believe it, she only have this feeling when she was with Sayaka. No way she loves Sayaka. She means, they are literally two world vary. She was water and Sayaka was fire, can’t never be one.
She made a big mistake, she didn’t know that the news will catching up on her fast. Her news of her scandal that she went to a house of a male idol.
“Milky. what the hell are you doing?! You got in scandal when we will have our next single soon?! We gonna be the centers Milky! We are idols! Get your grip!” Sayaka rages, the whole room silences. There was just their closest friends there, they know they don’t want to make a big fuss about it as it is.
“Sayanee..” Miyuki said almost crying, she was stupid. She didn’t think about the consequence will happen.
“ Watanabe Miyuki, look at me when I am talking.” Miyuki looked at Sayaka’s eyes, she sees hurt and angry in her fierce eyes. She is scared just by looking at Sayaka’s eyes. She is afraid losing her.
Miyuki tried to stick up with her male friend just because she wanted a confirmation. A confirmation that she is not in love in Sayaka. She knew she was straight. Actually she already going out with some of the member but it was in vain. Both relationship felt nothing to her.
“ Sayanee-san, you look so cool!” says the juniors circling Sayaka.
“ I didn’t know you can be this handsome Sayanee, let’s go out together” says Akarin sheepishly.
“Sayanee-san, here a gift for you” The junior holds Sayaka’s hand while blushing.
“ What the heck guys, this is too much for me.” Sayaka touches her nose, a sign that she will always do when she get embarrassed, hate but love or being tsundere.
The day Sayaka cut her hair, showing her determination that she will not lose. I can hear and see what they were doing, they literally circling you around. Admiring you as you look so cool and handsome. I didn’t get a chance to say it to you, as they surrounded you. I wish I could say it to you too.
“Milky.”
Huh? Why my heart beating fast? You normally coming towards me and just call my name. I blame you heart.
“How do I look? You know, I want to change my appearance a little bit and I don’t like to break my promise after Senbatsu. But I didn’t expect they will fangirling me. How do I look to you? am I that handsome?”
“Honestly Sayanee, they were right. You look very handsome with short hair. I like short hair girls” Being a bright and cheerful girl as I am, there I said it.
Wait, did Sayanee just.. blush?
“WOOOO SAYAMILKY SAILING”
“SAYAMILKY FOREVER”
“Looks like our favorite pair will have a good night tonight”
The girls screamed and teasing them. As the whole group known as SayaMilky shipper. Nah, they even brag about who is the best shipper among them.
“Guys stop it” Sayaka said while touching her nose again.
“Look at our tsundere captain everyone! She trying to flirt with Milky!” Momoka said loudly
“I will be number one shipper if they’re together” Nana said.
“Of course you will, grandma tends to be like that” Fuuchan said with her smile.
“I’M NOT THAT OLD” Nana defending herself.
“Baba.” Jo said.
“WHO TEACH MY BABY TO SAY THAT”
This is how the practice be like everyday. We were like a family. I don’t know how Sayanee handle this mess everyday. Oh trust me, she becomes one of them.
“So, you like it huh?” Sayaka interrupts her monologue.
“ I do.” Miyuki smiled with her eyesmile.
Today I would like to try something new, fishing Sayanee. Don’t get me wrong, I am so bored to sit here while waiting for the members to come back bringing the lunch.
“Sayanee”
“hm?” Sayaka not looking up from her ipad.
“Did you got presents from the members again?” Miyuki leaning towards Sayaka.
“Yeah, I got a bunch today. I thought they already stop with my short hair comeback, but they still went wild with it. Guess I’m that handsome huh?” Sayaka finally raised her head up, smiling, boasting herself.
“Seriously? You just realize that?” Milky raised her eyebrow as if she doesn’t believe Sayanee just realize the obvious thing.
“Well..yeah” Sayaka said with her fail face.
This is it, with the power of my fishing skill, I want my bait to be bitten. Don’t wish me luck, my pride as a fisher will guide me.
“Hey, Sayanee” while leaning on Sayaka’s shoulder. “You know.. you would be the perfect girlfriend”
“e-eh?” Sayaka stutters.
Strange. This is not Sayanee.
“Look at you, you are all rounded person. You can do anything a human being wish could do” Miyuki said touching her fingers down on her forearm. “plus, you’re too handsome for a girl”
“what the heck Milky I’m not as what you said. I have my bad too. Go away from me, you are too close” Sayaka being shy on Miyuki’s words.
There! I made it! She is so cute when she blushes. I smiled to the ears like I achieved something big. Wait, did i?
“oh, I am too close? Sorry” Miyuki hug Sayaka’s arm.
“M-Milky? What are y-you d-doing? Go away” Sayaka trying to get away from Miyuki with ipad still in her hand, as she doesn’t want people to see. The members are taking too long buying lunch.
Miyuki smiled with a glimpse of disappointment as she let go of her.
Guess my magic is not working.
Neither than she knew, someone touching her nose.
“I tried to flirt with her and she went shy” Miyuki boasting and grinning widely.
“no I didn’t!” Sayaka said while touching her nose.
“what is this? Is this what happened in NMB backstage?” Takamina asked.
“you really blush when I tried to flirt with you, you really like it don’t you?” Miyuki stared at those eyes, hoping something else.
That’s when the interview went wild, as the MC was asking random questions. Miyuki gets closer with Sayaka when they in the backstage.
"You liked it, didn't you?" Miyuki feeling hopeful.
“no, I knew you were being playful” Sayaka touches her red nose.
Sure. What did I expect from her? She doesn’t even like me. Wait, WHAT I really expect from her? Why I’m feeling hopeful that she will like me? I don’t even like her!
“Hey Milky”
“Yes Sayaka? What is wrong?” Miyuki uses Sayaka’s first name instead of her nickname. Since they getting closer and she comfortable calling Sayaka with her first name.
Miyuki’s eyes went wide, disbelief as what she seen.
“I took this challenge because it was interesting for me, let’s hope I won” Sayaka said with her danso clothes.
“y-you look so cool Sayaka..” Darn it Milky. Get your grip! Stop fidgeting around she will notice you stupid!
Sayaka gets closer and held Miyuki’s hand.
“it’s the time for the shoot, shall we?” Sayaka smiled.
There they go walking with holding each other’s hand.
“Urrrghh, why the hell her image is growing more and more in my mind the more I tried to erase it?! I don’t even like her!” Miyuki said smiling like a fool while buried her face into her bolster.
“I just want a damn sleep!”
“Are you really sure about that Miyuki-chan?” Miyuki mom asking her daughter after what she just said.
“hm.” Miyuki nodded.
“I won’t be in your way, go for it. Chase what is your heart telling”
“You’re the best Mom! Thank you so much!” said Miyuki while hugging her mom.
“I can’t believe it Milky! You chose him over your career?! We are idols!” Sayaka rages once again. As she heard about Miyuki’s second scandal. She sleepover with an ikemen model.
“Where is your dignity? Oh, do you even have one?” Sayaka said with her smirk.
“Sayaka! I’m not what you are thinking! Don’t you dare to bring me down!” Miyuki getting closer to Sayaka, she is really mad.
Why Sayaka even care? She accuse me that I don’t have dignity? This is rude!
“me? YOU ARE THE ONE BRING YOURSELF DOWN. YOU BRING BAD NAME IN THIS GROUP.”
Sayaka slamming her forehead onto Miyuki’s.
“FISHING MEN SO THEY CAN FALL FOR YOU?!”
“I DON’T EVEN LOVE HIM! WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHY I GOT INTO THAT MAN’S HOUSE?”
“YOU ONLY WANT YOUR PUSSY TO GET CLEAN AND SO YOU” Sayaka pointing a finger to Miyuki
“CAN GET PAID AS A FUCKING SLUT” Sayaka finally said the word.
Everyone was stunned hearing their captain.
“Both of you. enough.” Nana was the one who brave enough to separate them in the break up. All of the members knew not to mess with angry Sayaka.
Miyuki has her eyes brimmed with tears. Sayaka’s word left an impact to her. Sayaka doesn’t let her explain. Those pictures and tabloids are really making their money doing fake news.
Miyuki left the break room, crying.
“She has her reasons.” Akari interrupts.
“What reason?! For her to get second scandal so she can get attention! What a whore!” Sayaka still with her smirk.
A slap could be heard.
“You maybe our captain Sayaka, but your word doesn’t fit your position. I won’t hesitant to punch you if you say that to our member. Especially Milky. You called her a slut? You don’t even get to listen to her explanation yet you goes to your stupid conclusion. You’re so stupid, Sayaka.” Nana rages after she slapped Sayanee.
“Plus, why do you even care? You know this group has secret relationships everywhere, but you taken it as it is. Don’t use your ‘captain’ position ‘I have to know everything about members’. We know that ain’t it.”
“You are the worst Sayaka.”
Miyuki walks to her hotel room, she need a good shower and sleep after finishing her schedule.
After dumping all her stuff on her bed, she took her shower.
“it feels good~” Miyuki soaking her body in hotel’s bath.
After finishing up, she put on her towel and she wanted to wear her clothes. And then she saw someone was already sitting in another bed. She knew someone gonna be her roommate but she didn’t expect HER.
“as usual, you taking too long when taking a bath” Sayaka looks at Miyuki.
“you are my roommate?” Miyuki asks not believing what she sees after the incident two months ago.
“yeah, since everyone had their partner already. You don’t like me here? I can go” Sayaka said while tidying up her stuff.
“no no” Miyuki holding Sayaka’s arm. “I’m good, I didn’t know who is my roommate. Kinda shocking it was you”
Sayaka face went red.
“are you okay Sayaka? You got a cold?” Miyuki was about to touch Sayaka’s forehead untill Sayaka speak up.
“w-wear c-clothes” Sayaka look another way.
Miyuki’s towel loosening so Sayaka could see her cleavage.
After that Sayaka took her shower and Miyuki was drying her hair. Then, she saw Sayaka walking in a weird way.
“Sayaka? Are you okay?”
“yeah, I am okay just…little bit dizzy.” Sayaka forcing her smile to show she was okay.
“did you eat? Or took medication?” Miyuki asks worriedly.
“ I didn’t got to eat except breakfast, you know I never had more 3 days off, this month I never got one” Sayaka massaging her head.
Miyuki feel sad about how management treats Sayaka. She is a captain but that doesn’t mean she couldn’t have longer breaks. She literally looks like zombie. She already have more burden on her petite shoulders.
Miyuki gets up and goes to the mini kitchen.
Glad this hotel has a kitchen in their rooms.
Miyuki took out all ingredients she bought, since they gonna have 3 days tour here. She got to buy something to cook. She prefer to cook than calling the hotel service. If that hotel have a kitchen though.
“Hey Milky, what are you doing cooking at this hour?”
It was 1 am they got into the room. That’s what make Sayaka feels weird.
“You didn’t got to eat right? You must be hungry. Room service can take a long time, plus at this late hour I doubt they will open the food service. I’m cooking for you” Miyuki tie up her apron.
“You don’t need to, it will be too much for you to cook. I can eat instant ramen”
“No Sayaka, instant food is not good for your diet. We are idols remember?” Miyuki flashed her smile to Sayaka.
Why does her word hurt right here?
Sayaka trying to comprehend the word “ we are idols”. She regretting her words she said two months ago. Until now.
“Miyuki..” Sayaka get besides Miyuki who was busy cooking.
Miyuki got her ears perked up when she heard Sayaka calling her by her first name. Something that was really rare.
“I-“ Sayaka holding her head after a sharp pain thrusting.
“Sayaka are you okay?! You should take a rest instead of moving around!”
Miyuki touch Sayaka’s forehead.
“Oh my god, Sayaka you are burning! you didn’t eat any meds didn’t you? I told you to rest this evening, but you said you wanted to check up the members. You didn’t listen to me did you?! Lie on the bed! Wait for me to finish cooking! And DON’T MOVE.” Miyuki chattering while bringing sick Sayaka to bed.
“What is going on inside that your mind? You pushing herself and look at you now! I should force you to rest if I knew this gonna happen! You look lifeless! We even have schedules tomorrow-“ Miyuki nagging to Sayaka who unexpectedly listen to her, watching her back in the kitchen.
Sayaka look at Miyuki’s back with her hand on her forehead, with a smile carving.
After a while, Miyuki finished cooking and bring the foods to Sayaka.
“how is it? Is it bad?” Miyuki sits on her bed while watching Sayaka eating.
“bad? This is the most delicious food I have ever eaten! Well, can’t compare with my mom’s” Miyuki giggles on Sayaka remarks.
“I can’t cook heavy food since we are in late hour, sorry.” Miyuki looked down.
Sayaka saw her, stopping her tracks. “Miyuki,this is more than enough for me! I am the one who should say sorry for making you worry.”
A silence.
“I like it.” Miyuki said shyly.
“like what?” Sayaka confused.
“I like when you call me by my first name”
Sayaka covering her shyness by eating her foods. “it’s not like I never call you by your first name”
“but it was rare. I like when you say my name. We have been together for long time but you rarely call me by Miyuki. You always call the members by their first names.” Miyuki pout her mouth.
“yes ms Watanabe. I will take that note now.” Sayaka bowing her head to Miyuki in a joking tone.
“now that sounds awkward.” Miyuki was laughing at Sayaka, which Sayaka laughing too.
After their joking and laughing ends, Miyuki had to remind Sayaka.
“Sayaka, here is the medicine.” Miyuki give Sayaka the pills.
“How the heck did you got the meds here?!” Sayaka surprised by how fast Miyuki got the meds.
“Preparations, Sayaka. Now EAT.” Miyuki being strict to her captain right now.
“I will eat tomorrow. Im sleepy after eating”
“ I don’t trust your ‘tomorrow’. You won’t eat it tomorrow as you busy go ahead to your schedules. Eat in front of me. NOW.” Miyuki being strict to her captain right now. Their position switched.
Sayaka gulping as she heard Miyuki being (almost) angry. She took the pills from Miyuki’s hand and ate it.
“scary” Sayaka said softly and low after drinking water.
“say that again and I will tell your manager to skip your schedule for our tour.” Miyuki said while slapping cool patch onto Sayaka’s forehead.
“OUCH- MIYUKI IT’S HURT!” Sayaka whined.
“don’t be such a baby, say one word again and I will call manager right now” Miyuki threatened Sayaka.
“YES MA’AM I DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING I WAS TALKING TO THE WALL RIGHT HERE ITS SO SCARY” Sayaka looking the wall behind her, as if it was scary.
“great, now..” Miyuki goes to Sayaka’s bed and lie beside Sayaka.
“wha- Miyuki?”
“shh, you having a fever. I heard the best way to reduce fever is hugging the person who have a fever.” Miyuki hug Sayaka on her bed. Leaning her head onto Sayaka’s chest. “I saw it on the internet anyway, I don’t know if its work but I think its worth trying”
Miyuki can hear Sayaka’s heartbeat and it was so calming.
“hey, Sayaka..”
“y-yes?” Sayaka stutters.
“what do you think of liking or loving someone?”
“why are you asking this?” it was weird for Sayaka hearing such thing from Miyuki. As she know Miyuki isn’t a type of falling in love easily.
What she know.
“well, for me, it is normal for a human being to falling in love right? We were born with love, love teaches us to become who we are today. Love can make us hurt, piercing pain sensation to us thus making us gave up. It also can make us happy and being floppy all day, make us protected and believe no one can stop us as long as we are in love. How such a thing can make us feel mixed feelings at once? Like if you like someone, just go for it. Don’t think about rejection. The main reason you wanted to confess because you want to throw the burdens away from your heart. The longer you keep it, the longer you trapped in your own heart. Even if someone rejects you, at least you feel the ease” Sayaka giving her points.
“…” She felt surprised on how mature Sayaka is thus making Miyuki swallows those words and think about it.
“what’s wrong?” Sayaka lowered her gaze to Miyuki who still resting on her chest and in deep thought.
Miyuki hugged Sayaka swooply.
Sayaka got tensed by the hug, but Sayaka hugged her back soothingly. As she want Miyuki to tell her what is going on inside her mind. Doesn’t care how long it takes.
“is it wrong for me to like someone, Sayaka?”
“No, but in this life you’re in. You can’t”
“ What if I like you, Sayaka?”
Sayaka open her eyes shockingly and making little distance between their body to see Miyuki’s face.
She didn’t see any tricky dishonest flirting in her eyes. It took a while for her to response.
“i..” Sayaka still confused what to reply.
“Miyuki, i..” DARN IT, WHY THE WORD DOESN’T COME OUT??
Sayaka loosening their hug and keep looking at Miyuki’s eyes, with a blank gaze.
Miyuki want to find the answers in her eyes then chuckled.
“It’s okay Sayaka, you don’t have to answer me. As I know what the answer would be. You the one said that confessing will take our burdens away right?” Miyuki still smiling.
“I want to say this now because I thought it would be a perfect way to do it. I want to confess all were stuffed in my heart to you. I don’t even think I would like you. From afar, as I search for you, I find myself always look at you. My eyes keeps longing for you even before I do.”
How can she smile? Sayaka staring into Miyuki’s eyes, as if trying to convey what she is feeling right now because her mouth disagrees with her.
“I’m not used to it, because I’ve never loved anyone. Those scandals I had? I don’t know how did it happen. But I know I don’t love them at all. Not even a bit.”
“Sayaka…” Miyuki holding Sayaka’s hand with her both hands.
“Will it okay for me to love you? Will it be okay for us to start?” Miyuki looking at Sayaka’s eyes, hoping for some answers.
Though I don’t know if my wounded heart would ever make you cry, Sayaka.
“I don’t know Sayaka, on how to speak out my love and hold you like our friends do.
No, like lovers do.”
“I only have this heart to give you” Miyuki bring Sayaka’s hand that she has been holding to her heart. Miyuki really want to find the answers in her eyes, just once more.
“I don’t have courage to protect you, will you love me?”
Sayaka flabbergasted.
“I’m sorry, Milky..”
Miyuki smiled sadly after hearing that from Sayaka.
As I thought, eyes never lies.
Sayaka moved forward her body towards Miyuki. Leaning her face to Miyuki and tilted her head to side. Still locking their eyes together.
Softly kissing her on her forehead.
The room has been silence for a while. The silence was too loud.
Miyuki’s tears finally rolling to her cheeks, she has been trying to hold it back.
Sayaka wiped the tears, she knows the pain she feel right now is not the same as Miyuki’s heartache.
Both of them smiled to each other, understanding the silence.
“Let’s go to sleep, it is late already. We got schedule tomorrow.” Sayaka covering up their body with blanket.
That smile, which I’ve grown used to that bright smile.
Miyuki watch the rest of the members are joking around as they always do. Sayaka and Momoka are having their stupid comedy again, even its unintentional, they successfully made everyone laugh.
I like when her indian dimples when she smile brightly or laugh. It is just amusing to me.
“Oi shorty! Come here I need to talk” Momoka shout to Sayaka.
“Don’t call me short! Just talk right here!”
“Just come closer stupid!”
Sayaka got closer to Momoka and Momoka lean to her ears.
What she doesn’t know Aina getting ready to Kancho her butt.
Sayaka look behind her, looking at Aina who smiled innocently as she succeeded Kancho her butt.
“I KNOW I SHOULDN’T TRUST BOTH OF YOU. AHHHHHHH”
The partner in crime running from the victim who was ready to punch them in the face.
“I SWEAR I WILL PUNCH YOU BOTH TILL YOU CAN’T GET UP” Sayaka grabbing any handheld object to transforms into a weapon. As we know Sayaka is a quite hot blooded person.
“TRY SHORTY”
“I AM YOUR CAPTAIN”
“FOR NOW YOU ARE NOT!” Aina added while running away.
“Sayanee you will kill them for real if thrash them with that!” Akarin said while cackling.
I wish I could make her happy like that, or at least, making her smile. I had my hopes up. I find myself wishing more, that I can fill your day. Like right now.
Just like her.
Sayaka sits beside Yuuri, who was laughing on her attitude before.
“Sayanee-san, you look like a toddler when you chase them down” Yuuri giggles.
“They are the one who was being stubborn” Sayaka pouts.
“Cute.” Yuuri wiped Sayaka’s sweat off her temple.
“I’m older than you” while hugging Yuuri.
“Say someone who clinging on me right now~”
That night, I see someone in your eyes that is not me. That was where I know I should give up. I feel like standing on the edge of the cliff, the despair woke me up.
“Milky.” Rika crouching in front of her, invading her vision on the couple.
Rika hugged Miyuki as she blankly in her thought.
“I know Milky, what we want we do not necessarily get it. Let her go and let your heart free”
“Thank you.”
¬
“I, Watanabe Miyuki, will graduate from NMB48”
I see my fans are shocked and the members too. I know this is quite surprising but this is it. I need my space to fly. I already discussed this with Sayanee. She said she doesn’t want me to graduate yet, the condition of NMB isn’t stable yet for an ace to go. But I can’t, I need to rest from the idol’s world and fly on my own later.
I decided to moving on my feelings from her, that is one of the reason why I decided to graduate. I still love NMB48, I want them to work hard to bring NMB without their senpais on their back. But I want to see myself on the stage alone. I want to rebuild my career alone. Not to be selfish but, I want to see entertainment differently. I entrust NMB48 to my kouhai, I know they will bring NMB to the world more than we did.
I didn’t expect her to cry today, I know she is not a crybaby, she doesn’t cry on our friends graduations too.
Why is she crying? Is it just an acting? Wait, Sayaka is bad in acting.
They moved to backstage, talking about the sudden announcement and getting ready for the last performance.
“Everyone, let’s get ready here” The members moved to the center and make a circle.
Sayaka gripped Miyuki’s hand hard.
Miyuki shocked and looked at their hands then Sayaka.
Still in her captain face mode.
“Let’s do our best and make this a happy graduation announcement for Milky! NMB~”
“48!” NMB48 members shouted after the captain giving a brief talk backstage.
Everyone parting, getting ready to wear costumes, Miyuki got halted as she moved. Her hand still in Sayaka hard grip.
“Sayanee? We must-“
“Call me Sayaka.” She is staring at the floor.
“Umm, Sayaka we must get read-“ Miyuki nicely tell Sayaka to let go of her hand.
“I KNOW.” Sayaka snapped.
Silent went through them as they the only ones who was in the same spot.
Sayaka sigh loudly, letting go of their hands.
“Let’s go.” She is in her stoic face.
What the hell is wrong with her today?
The time of graduation concert finally come. I smiled brightly as I remind myself not to cry on my big day. I don’t want people to see my crying face. I want everyone to accept my graduation with no tears.
I can’t believe we are singing the song she composed for us, it was a beautiful song. I listened to it many times even when it was a demo. I was really surprised when she said she already got a song prepared for me, she talked to Aki-P and he approved it before she reveal it to me said it was a gift for my graduation. I don’t really expect anything from her. I proudly show to my friends that she made the song for me. Even she only composed the song, but I really appreciate her work because this is her first time composing an official song. The lyrics that Aki-P wrote for us, I can relate to the time we have been together as a workmate.
In the script, I was the one who supposed to holding her waist and I don’t know how or when she got the courage to hold my waist instead. Sayaka is not a skinship person. I let go of my arm who was about to hold her, as I letting go of my feelings of her.
I laughed with the members seeing Sayaka’s crying face. It is too rare to see her cry so we took this opportunity.
After we done singing Sotsugyou Ryokou, Sayaka staring blankly after crying. I wonder that is honest tears or not? Why is she crying? If its about my graduation, she doesn’t cry on anything! Crying Sayaka could be a big thing in her life happened. She only cries on something that is important and dearly to her.
Wait.
I shaking my head to let the irrational thought out of my mind.
Maybe she crying because we have been a good workmate, center, aces. Too hard to see someone who standing beside us gone.
At the changing room, I go to Sayaka for the last time. I want to talk to her alone.
“Sayaka.”
Sayaka seems crying? as she hurriedly wiped something on her face.
“what’s up?” Sayaka replied as she suddenly wake up and tidying up her stuff.
“Sayaka, can we talk?”
“We’re talking right now.” Sayaka coldly said.
“I..i want to talk about us!”
Sayaka stopped what she was doing. Sayaka looked over her shoulder looking at the petite figure.
“I want to confirm for the last.” Miyuki turned her head down.
“I want to know how you see me, even not as someone special. I want to know who I am in your life!” Miyuki snapped and bring her eyes to look at Sayaka.
“Please, just for the last, who the hell I am to you?!” Miyuki’s eyes already brimmed with tears.
Sayaka turned her body and walked towards Miyuki.
“You are someone who stand beside me and guide me to the light when I was in darkness. You showed me how life will be if we enjoy to the fullest. You were the one pulled my hand to see the world was not about me alone. If I wanted to chase my dream, I must getting know people because we don’t know someday they are the one who will help us chasing that dream. I like when you told me to rest and remind me I am a human. Thank you for letting me by your side” Sayaka paused.
“If you really want to know who you are to me…” Sayaka get closer to Miyuki.
Sayaka put one hand to Miyuki’s shoulder, and one patting her head.
“You are a special person to me, my mere dearly comrade.”
*based on To Your Side – Yuju (cover)
This is my first ever fanfic and first time creating account from this site. I apologized for the grammar mistake or spelling, as english isn’t my first language. After years being slient reader, I go out from my circle and try new things. I hope you enjoy my first fanfic and Sayamilky fanfic. The first plot will be the clishe one, as I am new to this writing world. Im sorry for the length of this OS, too long for an OS. I will try another plots to improve my writing. Let’s hope the will in me always burn to write.
Topic: To Your Side (SayaMilky) (Read 4075 times)