Her Innocence
Fujimoto Miki felt herself smiling as she watched the monitor of her beautiful Aya from backstage of Ayas latest concert. She always got so much pleasure from performing and she was a absolute natural at it. Cheerful all the time, it’s a marvel what she would have done if she hadn’t become an idol. That little girl Aya had turned into the stunningly beautiful Matsuura. Either way, to Miki she would always be her innocent Ayaya.; her best friend. Who had only managed to stay exclusively her best friend for a couple of months before she became Mikis lover and her only love.
Miki felt her eyes begin to sting as she continued to stand there and admire Aya and the wonderful presence she had on stage. The tears were coming yet she couldn’t stop smiling. Aya just made everything so happy Miki couldn’t ever help but smile around her. Even with the knowledge of there looming separation in the front of Mikis mind.
“She really loves her job.”
Miki turned around to see Ayas manager standing behind her with a approving smile on his face. She tried to reply, but felt her voice caught up in her throat. If only he knew how much that naïve statement had affected Miki.
The head of UFA peered over his desk at the ashen faced girl. “Fujimoto-san do you understand?”
All Miki could do was nod. She didn’t even have the strength to glare at him. “Why are you telling me this? Why do I have to make this decision?”
He smirked and Miki inwardly scoffed at how smug he looked. “Because, Aya is innocent and you don’t want her mind plagued by all this do you?” He was using Mikis undying love for Aya against her. She knew Aya would willingly give up her career for her, but she can’t let her do that. Aya was too happy being an idol, Miki was fully aware of that. Besides, just as he had said; Aya is innocent. Miki couldn’t let her have such a huge decision rest on Aya as well.
Miki was aware that in fact Aya was probably not as innocent as most thought. However, she had that aura of innocence that she respected too much. That she loved to much too let big business taint.
“Fine, I understand. But you know,” she paused. Maybe there was a way to get out of this all. “The fans won’t understand if you just split GAM up with no reason. They won’t get that we broke up. I mean, unless you want to explain to them our relationship.” She smirked thinking she had the upper hand. But that soon faded when the man in front of her didn’t drop his own smug expression.
They sat on Ayas couch embracing each other and Aya buried her face into Mikis neck her hair lightly tickling Miki. Miki loved how she would always snuggle up to her seeming to never want to let go.
It was the innocent Aya that everyone got to see.
As the night progressed with the girls holding each other, talking and laughing together soon it got very late. Aya reached up and took Mikis face into her hands slowly leaning in and kissing the older girl. Miki let herself be pushed down onto her back on the couch as Aya started to move her hands across Mikis body as there tongues entwined.
This was the not so innocent Aya reserved only for Miki.
Miki let herself get lost in Aya. In how she touched, how she kissed and how she would purr sweet nothings into her ear. But as Aya began to unbutton Mikis jeans something made Miki reach down and stop her.
Aya looked at Miki confused.
“I’m really tired tonight Aya. Can we just sleep?” She asked with a pleading look in her eyes, but all the while keeping a happy smile on her face so as not to worry her little Aya. Too bad she wasn’t really tired, not in the slightest. She just desperately wanted to keep the innocent Ayaya in her mind for as long as they were still together. After all that’s what had drawn Miki to her in the first place.
Aya paused for a moment still confused, before giggling lightly. “You’re so weird sometimes Tan. But sure.” She winked, “We’ve got all tomorrow.”
Oh crap. “Yea Aya about that. I know I’m supposed to have the next three days off but something has come up and I have to work.” Aya seemed disappointed momentarily but soon shrugged it off. It was uncommon for them to have something scheduled last minute like this.
“No the fans will understand. In fact they might be pretty angry at you.”
“Why would they be angry at me?” Now Miki was very confused. What did UFA have up its sleeve?
“Remember how Yaguchi got in trouble when she was in Morning Musume?” Miki nodded now almost sure of where this is going to go. “Well, we’ve arranged for you to take the same leave with a comedian.”
She felt her heart stop. Not only did she have to leave Aya, but she was going to hurt her even more by…Miki closed her eyes and breathed in deeply. This can’t be happening. “I won’t do it.”
She opened her eyes and looked coldly over at the man on the other side of the desk. There was a fire of determination in her eyes. His smug look dropped for a small moment, but then he smirked once again. “Oh really?”
“I refuse. I won’t hurt Aya like that.”
“Then you’ll both lose your careers completely. We can make something up easily to give to the tabloids.” Miki mentally slammed her head against a wall. She can’t do that to Aya…she can’t let her give up her career. But she also can’t hurt her that much. “It’s your choice Fujimoto.”
After a minute of silence she finally spoke very softly, “When?”
“On your three days off.”
Miki closed her eyes once more. She had been planning on spending those days with Aya. “All three days?”
“All three days. Just for assurance someone gets the pictures.”
“Fine,” Miki stood up and started to march out of the room.
“Oh by the way,” she stopped but didn’t turn around as he continued to speak. “When do you plan on doing it? I hope its before those three days.”
Miki knew he was right. The article would say what days the pictures were taken and if she was still with Aya during those days it would seem she cheated on her. But, “I don’t think I can do it that soon.” I need as much time as I can with her. If that’s all we have left.
Miki entered the same room she had been in a couple of weeks before when she had received the news that it was break Ayas heart or break Ayas life. “What do you want now?” She asked completely annoyed. She had done what was requested and acted all lovey with that man for three days straight. What more could UFA want with her now.
“I was just wondering if you had done it yet?” He asked flipping through what looked like a stack of pictures.
Of course Miki hadn’t done it yet. She’d tried yes…many times she’d tried. But she couldn’t bring herself to do it. It was too painful. “No, I haven’t.”
Suddenly the pictures he had been holding were thrown onto the desk in front of Miki. They were from those three days. And yea there was no way to deny that wasn’t her.
“These are being published tomorrow.” Miki gulped, shit. “I suggest you do it before then.” And with that he turned to his computer screen and began working again.
Miki stood up and walked out of his office. What am I going to do? The thought ran through her head over and over. She didn’t want to do this. She didn’t want to hurt her Aya. She couldn’t.
But, she couldn’t let Aya lose what she had worked so hard for. What she loved so much.
Soon Miki found herself in front of Ayas dressing room. Knocking she prayed that she wouldn’t be there. That she was out at a shoot or something.
“Come in!” Miki cringed as she opened the door. Aya looked up from a magazine she had been reading and smiled brightly. “Miki-tan!” She said cheerfully as she set the magazine down on the counter.
This time Miki couldn’t hide the sadness from her. As much as she wanted her last memory of them together to be where Aya was laughing and smiling like the happy person she was, Miki knew this conversation wasn’t going to end that way. It was going to end them, it was to be the last conversation they share as one unit.
As Aya registered Mikis expression her face slowly changed from happiness to confusion then stopped on worry and she got up and walked over to the older girl standing in front of her. “Whats wrong?” she asked searching Mikis eyes for an answer.
I have to make this quick, so I don’t start crying. Then it will truly be impossible to say what has to be said. Miki looked at Aya for one last time as hers. She took it all in from the top of her head where her beautiful hair rested, to her toes concealed by fuzzy white socks to match her fuzzy attitude about life.
Taking a deep breath in Miki smiled trying too look assuringly as she took Aya by the arm and lead her over to the couch on the other side of the room. As they both sat down Miki quickly said without hesitation, “Aya I love you.” Her eyes we're penetrating and sincere. She wanted to communicate to Aya what she really wanted to say. That she loves her with every fiber in her being and wished nothing more than to stay with her forever. But it was too much to say in one short look, and Aya never read the message.
“And I love you too Tan.” She smiled and placed her hand on Mikis cheek in an attempt to comfort her. She smiled showing all her teeth as she wondered what Miki could be doing as she spoke so seriously about something they always said.
Miki felt a lone tear roll down her face and immediately Aya used her thumb to wipe it away not liking the look of her sad lover. “Tan?” She questioned.
“I can’t do this,” Miki said at almost a whisper as she pulled away from Aya and attempted to get up from the couch. They were at too close of a proximity for Miki to be able to handle this. She could feel Ayas breath on her face and it was making this speech impossible.
Too bad Aya wasn't going to let it her go that easily as she grabbed Miki by the arm and made her stay there, “You can’t do what? Miki come on talk to me. You can tell me anything.” She pleaded her voice getting slightly horse as her emotions started to take over even though she had no idea why.
“This,” she said pulling away from Aya once again. She grabbed her arm where Aya had been holding onto her in order to try and keep the heat from Ayas touch linger just a little longer. “I love you Aya, as a friend.” It was the last touch.
She watched Ayas face as it turned to complete confusion. Miki could feel her throat starting to close up. She had to finish this off now. Before her body made it impossible to do so, before she lost control completely.
“I don’t understand,” Ayas voice cracked a little and her eyes started to glisten with tears.
“Only,” Miki forced herself to continue. “Only as a friend.” She knew that her voice souded cold, but there was no way to make this sound comforting or hopeful. She knew shewas harsh, something she had never been towards Aya. She knew she didn’t mean it, and never would and never had. Then Miki watched as tears began to slowly roll down the face of the innocent girl she loved so dearly.
Aya struggled and tried her best to control her tears but after a few moments she couldn't help it any longer and she began to sob uncontrollably inwardly begging Miki to hold her. To hold her close and tell her this was all some cruel joke. That she wasn't going to go anywhere and stilled loved her as much as she had always claimed to. But after a minute she still felt no gentle embrace around her shaking body even though she could feel Mikis gaze as she stared at her in horror.
“Tan…” was all Aya managed to get out in between sobs. Tan please don't leave me.
Miki got up and took a few steps backwards away from Aya who was now desperately reaching out for her with her hands. She wanted so much to comfort Aya even for just one more time. But she knew if she didn’t leave now she would never be able to let go and would endanger Ayas career.
Quickly Miki turned away from her and walked swiftly out the door shutting it quiet roughly behind her. “I’m sorry…”
* * * * *
Miki woke up and walked into her bathroom. There were puffy bags under her eyes from crying all night. It’s a good thing they we’re letting her have the day off. Those UFA bastards.
She walked into her living room stretching and switched on the TV. She immediately regretted this early morning habit when the first bit of news she saw were pictures of herself from that long weekend.
For some reason, she couldn’t feel herself hurting. Maybe she had already hurt as much as one human being could.
As she stood there and watched the news all she could feel now was Ayas pain. She began to cry, but they weren't her tears; they we're Ayas tears. Her entire body began to tremble as she tried to control her emotions. But they weren't the problem...
Miki closed her eyes and thought about her innocent Aya. How cute she was with everything she did, how much she truly cared for her, how much she loved to please her fans to a point of no end.
But as she was finally able to calm down and open her eyes; her own pain was back.
Miki now knew that her innocent Ayaya...would never be innocent again.
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and yes I know its another sad GAM break up story involving UFA being jackasses. So common but -shrug-
Topic: Heyyou should read this! (short stories updated: August 17th) (Read 19620 times)