Hello, H!P Fanfic Section! I haven't been around in a very long time. It's almost been 10 years since I joined this community. In commemoration, I thought I would write again and post it in the section of this awesome forum where I first posted first. It's a shame I never finished the fics I started here. All of them were ambitious works that I had hoped would make me worthy of writing in the presence of the fic-writing greats whose works I read and enjoyed here during the early years of my fandom in H!P. I might finish them but it is more likely that I would leave their continuations and endings to your imagination.
Thanks to this section, I became part of
. For that I am eternally grateful.
Here is a MaaDuu fic I wrote to cope with the fact that it's kind of over. I hope you guys enjoy this less ambitious, more grounded piece. It still has all the tropes and trappings of a traditional rabu-rabu ship fic.
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The Long Walk Home
She looked up. The girl standing before her was unflinching.
“I told you, I can go home alone. You didn’t have to wait for me.” She tried to speak sternly so as to emphasize her point but her voice inevitably cracked.
The girl, with hand still extended to her, replied. “I promised that I would see you home.”
“What good are promises now, anyway?” she muttered almost inaudibly but with some bitterness. She was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall, hugging her own knees to her chest. She wanted to be left alone. She had always been left alone to her devices. Why wasn’t she being left alone now?
There was always someone else for the girl to pay attention to. It was never her. There was always someone else—someone this girl would look after. It used to be just the two of them, or four, depending on the circumstance. She used to be the only one but things changed—not just in general, but between them.
Now, everyone else had gone home. Was that why the girl could see her again? That there was no one else for her to give her attention to?
“Is that what this is about?” The girl replied. That was a futile question. The girl understood.
How many more of them would make promises to her only to break them? She had always believed them and they always failed. While it was understandable that
things were always changing, especially in their group, it had come to a point where promises to stay were pointless because they were all bound to leave sooner or later. She was innocent and pure in that way. However, she could only take so much before she learned to adapt to this system of change. She had grown up, somewhat, in that respect.
“You have to go home yourself. I won’t burden you further.” She said, wringing her hands.
“Let’s go?” The girl’s gentle tone surprisingly did not change.
She expected that the girl would be frustrated with her by now. If that was the case, the girl was very skilled in concealing it. Perhaps that was why the girl knew she could make a name for herself as an actress.
The girl knelt on one knee, the same hand still outstretched and offered to her. “Maachan.”
The deep timbre of the girl’s voice was the one thing that could break her resolve. Besides, she really did have to go home. She finally took the hand, looking away to stop the tears that were about to fall.
=
The two stood silently in the subway, Masaki’s hand still in Haruka’s. There were few people on the train given that the rush hour had passed. Neither of them took a seat even though empty seats were abundant. It was uncomfortable. It felt somewhat imposed but Haruka knew it was the only way that they could be alone. They had to be alone so they could talk. However, neither of them was talking.
Haruka had not let go of her hand since holding it at the studio except when they entered the gates at the train station and when they transferred to the subway. She would not let go and even when she did, she managed to catch Masaki’s hand right away.
This felt both familiar and alien to Masaki all at once. She knew how Haruka’s hand felt. Six years of constant companionship did that but there was something about her grasp that felt different. Besides, that constant companionship has come to an end. Perhaps it felt different because they were now, in fact, different.
For all the fights they had especially in the earlier part of their time together, Masaki felt that Haruka was the only one who really understood her. Everyone else merely accepted that she was strange without trying to comprehend her thoughts. Haruka understood her. Haruka understood enough to explain what she said to other people in words they could understand.
Masaki’s thoughts were only broken by a sudden tug. They were almost at her stop.
“You didn’t have to come with me.” She said. Finally breaking their hour-long silence.
“I told you I would.” Haruka answered firmly. She didn’t look at Masaki as she pulled her by the hand and off the train.
They fell into silence again as they got out of the train station. Haruka only let go of her hand again to pass the gate and immediately held it again after.
Just a few meters away from the station, Masaki blurted out in confused frustration or frustrated confusion or both. “What are you trying to do here? I told you Masa can go home alone. Masa is okay. Duu doesn’t have to pretend to be nice to Masa anymore!”
“Why do you think I’m pretending?” Haruka calmly replied.
“Because,” Masaki paused. “Because you did! Because you do! When we were in Morning, when camera-san comes—“
“Were you pretending?” Haruka interjected, still calm and composed.
“Duu should know.” Masaki replied, deflated.
“If Maachan wasn’t pretending, why would you think I was?” Haruka pulled Masaki in the direction of her house. She knew the way as she had gone there several times. Six years of constant companionship did that. “It’s getting late and it’s pretty cold out here. Best we get you home soon.” Haruka shifted her hand so that their fingers were entwined.
They walked along the streets to Masaki’s block.
Masaki tried to pull her hand away but Haruka tightened her grip.
“There are so many things I’ve wanted to tell you.” Haruka said with a sigh, keeping her eyes on the road.
“Then just tell me.” Masaki snappily and sharply answered, suddenly stopping in her stride.
Haruka turned to look at her.
Masaki’s heart skipped a beat.
Haruka pulled her by the shoulder with her free hand. “I think I’m in love with you.”
Masaki shrugged hard to free her shoulder from Haruka’s hold. “Why are you telling me this now? Now when I can’t see you anymore? Now when—“
“Now when camera-san can’t catch me.” Haruka cut her off. “Now when the others can’t see us. Now when they can’t tell me that I can’t love you—that we can’t love each other.” Haruka paused for a quick second, breaking the rhythm of her speech. “You do, don’t you?”
“Does it even matter now?” Masaki fought to not cry. She was losing the battle hard.
“It matters now more than ever.” Haruka said, her resolve getting stronger. “It matters to me.”
Masaki bowed her head fell into Haruka’s chest. She really couldn’t stop crying. She could only try to keep Haruka from seeing her face. She had no words and even if she did her brain could not cooperate.
Haruka pulled her in closer in an embrace as Masaki sobbed on her shoulder.
Haruka kissed her on the head to comfort her. “Don’t be afraid. I am here.”
She felt Masaki’s arm wrap around her waist, seeking support as she felt her knees getting weak, reciprocating to her embrace. She was shaking.
Haruka was relieved. “Let’s get you home now, okay?” she softly whispered.
Masaki would not budge. “Can’t we stay like this a little longer?”
“Okay.” Haruka patted her on the head and gently planted a kiss on her forehead. As cars cautiously passed them by on the narrow street, their headlights flashing as they drove away.
After a few minutes, the weight on Haruka’s chest and shoulder lightened as Masaki stepped back and released Haruka’s waist from her arm. Masaki started walking home again in silence and with Haruka’s hand still entwined with hers, pulled her along.
Haruka was not surprised, even though she was still bothered, that Masaki had not said a word since she broke the embrace. She was in limbo as to where this was all going to lead. She didn’t know exactly how Masaki felt. Normally, she would have just asked but she was afraid of what the answer could be.
After the last corner to turn, they found themselves outside Masaki’s house. As Masaki was feeling her pocket for her keys, Haruka asked “Can I have some water? It was a pretty long walk to your house.”
Masaki answered, “I told you, you didn’t have to take me home,” as she turned the key. “Come in.”
They entered the house quietly. Masaki’s parents were both in the living room, watching TV.
“I’m home.” She said. “Haha, Chichi, Duu is here with me but she is leaving soon.”
Masaki’s father looked behind to greet them. “I would stand up but my leg is cramping up.” He said with a hearty laugh. “Welcome home, Masaki. Welcome, Haruka-chan.”
“Ah, welcome home.” Her mother stood up from the couch. “Hello, Haruka-chan. Would you like something to eat? Masaki didn’t tell us you were coming.”
“Good evening,” she greeted with a bow, “a glass of water would be alright.”
“I said she was leaving soon.” Masaki protested, slightly glaring at Haruka.
Her mother went and made the table for them two. “Nonsense. She brought you all the way here. That’s not very polite.” She said gently. “Haruka-chan, please excuse the food. We really weren’t expecting anyone.”
“It’s alright. It was a sudden decision for us, too.” She answered politely.
Masaki crossed her arms but conceded to defeat as she led Haruka to the table. Haruka watched her for any change in her behavior but she was really hard to read. Perhaps harder to read now than before.
With a smile she thanked Masaki’s mother as she took her place at the dining table.
“How has it been since your graduation? Our Masaki here was crying so hard when she came home from the last concert.” Masaki’s mother asked while she was setting the food on the table. Curry rice and fried chicken.
“We started shooting two days ago. It’s somewhat similar but also very different from what we did in the group.” Haruka graciously replied.
Masaki’s face was a mix between happy and blank. Haruka really couldn’t tell what was going on in her head. Perhaps the happy face was for her mother and the blank face was for Haruka. It could be the other way around but that was unlikely after what had transpired between them earlier.
Masaki took her place across from Haruka as that was where her mother set the plate. She refused to look at Haruka, making small talk with her mother about work and the train ride home.
“There. Enjoy your meal. I’ll leave you and Masaki to yourselves. I can take care of the dishes later.” She said as she took off her apron and went back to watching TV on the couch.
Haruka watched her walk away. “Thank you so much.”
They didn’t speak as they ate. Masaki’s mother gave them a big helping. It was a simple but hearty meal. They were sitting right across from each other but their eyes just wouldn’t meet. It was mostly Masaki just looking down at her food while Haruka glanced at her while chewing.
As they were about to finish their meal, Haruka said softly, “We need to talk, you know?”
Masaki didn’t say a word but took her bowl right after Haruka laid her chopsticks across its mouth. She brought all the dishes to the sink and began washing them. She was clearly looking for a way out.
“Maachan.” Haruka called to her desperately. Walking over beside her at the sink.
“It’s really late, isn’t it?” Masaki went on, still not looking at her, not even in her general direction.
“About what I said.” Haruka pushed on.
“Are you going to take it back now?” Masaki said coldly.
“No.” Haruka said with a sigh. She was getting frustrated but she knew she had to remain level-headed. Her success depends on her alone. She wasn’t going to lose. “Talk to me please.”
Masaki walked away from the sink, back to the living area where her parents were still watching TV. “Duu and I will be in my room and Haha, I already washed the dishes so you won’t have to.”
“Thank you, Masaki.” Her mother turned to look at her and cheerfully replied. “You’ve really grown up now, haven’t you?”
“Yes, yes, yes, Haha.” She answered matching her mother’s enthusiasm.
“But it’s getting really late. Why don’t we have Haruka-chan stay the night? Surely you can lend her some clothes to sleep in.” Her mother said, concerned for the younger girl’s safety.
Before Masaki could respond, Haruka replied “Is it alright, Okusan? I don’t want to bother you anymore.”
“Come now, Haruka-chan. It’s not the first time you’re sleeping over. Just don’t forget to tell your parents.” Masaki’s mother reminded her.
“Yes. Thank you so much, Kyo, Okusan. I’m very sorry to bother you.” Haruka bowed low in gratitude. From her peripheral view, she could tell that Masaki was not pleased.
Masaki’s father waved his hand in approval, still unable to move because of his cramped leg.
“Yes, we’ll go to my room now.” Masaki went on up the stairs to her room.
Haruka was relieved that Masaki didn’t protest any more. They had privacy and all night to talk.
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This will probably go on for a few more. I just couldn't keep myself from writing and posting. I hope that was a satisfying, albeit brief, read.
Comments are still very much welcome.
Thank you.
Topic: The Long Walk Home (MaaDuu) (Read 4080 times)