A keyboard that doesn't hurt my wrists if I'm typing for more than 5 minutes, has keys big enough that my fingers hit only one of them at a time, has a big enough space-bar that I don't need to adjust my hands to hit it with either thumb regardless of what key I pressed last, and doesn't have 6 years of accumulated snack filth, shed hair, and spilled drink.
Is that so much to ask? (yes... if electronics retailers are to be believed about what keyboards are out there...)
Oh, I also want the Megurine Luka Vocaloid software, but don't want to spend $150 on it, so that one's just MY bad.