I want to thank again everyone who reads my fanfic. To those who leave a comment, I want you to know I really appreciate your kind words. I'm glad you enjoy my little story as much as I love writing it. I'll try and post the next chapter in time for Christmas!
CHAPTER 19
"Hello, Tokyo Dome," Jurina whispers as she stands at the front of the main stage of the baseball stadium. Her eyes scan the vast area of empty seats that will be filled with people in three hours, absently taking the microphone a staff member is giving her. Last time she set foot in a stadium it was in Nagoya, and she unfortunately wasn't able to perform since she fainted just before the beginning of the concert. Saying that she was frustrated missing it is an understatement. She was furious with herself for neglecting her health, forcing her to lay in bed when she could have been on stage enjoying herself.
As she didn't sleep so well last night she had small eyes when she woke up, and had done her best to contain her grumpiness all morning. When she made her way out of the hotel restaurant, she really wondered how she would be able to get through the day successfully. Thankfully, the effect of the coffee had finally done its job an hour later, and she is now more than eager to face the three-hours concert.
She isn't about to miss such an important event again. As it is an AKB concert, she has the opportunity to share the stage with people she doesn't sing with very often - friends who are dear to her heart - and she wants to make sure this evening stays engraved in her memory. As she's still gazing at the empty stadium she hears familiar footsteps approaching, and a loud voice suddenly interrupts her thoughts.
"Stop daydreaming!"
Jurina turns around to look at Mayu who's moving to the front stage and briefly shaking her head in disapproval at the younger girl, before lowering her eyes to the sheet in her hand. Lyrics leave her lips for a few seconds, before she sets the paper at her feet and takes the microphone off the stand in front of her.
"Ready?" Jurina inquires, amused by her best friend's serious attitude.
"Yes," the older girl assures, turning briefly to nod at a staff member, before locking eyes with Jurina, "let's do this."
The music of
Temodemo no Namida fills the air during 3:35 min, the two members rehearsing the choreography and the song they both know well, as they already performed it a few times before. As the song comes to an end Jurina turns to her friend, satisfied, only to notice that Mayu is frowning at her.
"What is it?" she asks, surprised by the scolding look she's receiving, as she's pretty sure she didn't miss a step nor messed up the lyrics.
"The wink you give me after
Konna ni suki demo," Mayu replies in annoyance, tapping her index on the sheet that's back in her hand, "It's not part of the choreography."
"Really?" Jurina arches an eyebrow, trying to hide her amusement as best she can, "What a shame."
"Jurina," Mayu growls at her friend's playfulness, "I'm glad you're finally awake, but it's not a funny song. You can't do that."
"Okay," Jurina answers, a soft chuckle escaping her lips, before realizing what Mayu just said, "so does it mean I could have winked at you if it was not a sad song?"
"Absolutely not," Mayu snorts, skeptically eying the younger girl who's moving closer, a mischievous smile on her lips.
"I'm so happy we're doing a duet," Jurina says, ignoring the girl's blunt reply, "it's been a while," she sighs, embracing the girl from behind and resting her chin on her shoulder, her eyes gazing at the rows of empty seats pensively.
"Jurina," Mayu exclaims, her body tensing up at the girl's unexpected action before quickly relaxing, "It has indeed," she whispers, enjoying - though she would never admit it - the girl's attention.
Their last duet suddenly flashes in Mayu's head and a small smile moves to her lips at the memory. Unfortunately, as Jurina now spends most of her time with the SKE group, they can't see each other as much as they used to a few years ago, and she feels a bit nostalgic of the good old days. She sometimes misses all the time they managed to spend together during the shooting of
Majisuka Gakuen 2.
All of a sudden, she feels lips on her cheek and she comes out of her musing, tilting her head to stare at the girl who's grinning widely, clearly proud to have been able to steal a kiss from her pensive friend.
"Do you want to sing it a second time?" Jurina demands when she retreats back, trying hard not to laugh at the disapproving look she's getting.
"No, I think we're fine. Just remember to stick to the choreography," Mayu waves her index at her.
"I promise!" Jurina nods.
Mayu watches as Jurina leaves the main stage, and a groan leaves her lips when the girl turns around a last time to wink at her cheekily.
Yuka Nakanishi has a vague idea when this whole unfortunate thing started. It may have something to do with that day she casually suggested the dancing coach to make changes to one of their songs' choreography, and the woman immediately agreed to them. Now, each time the group has to rehearse a new concert they sometimes try to add a bit of originality to their choreographies, and her fellow members always turn to her, somehow expecting her to pull a brilliant idea out of her hat. Maybe she should had stuck to helping the younger members with their moves, and not opened her big mouth that day after all.
"The NMB girls will sing
Teppen Tottande!, and then it's our turn with
Kiss Datte Hidarikiki," the boyish girl comments, looking at the sheet in her hand, "maybe we can do something a bit different?"
You can almost hear a pin drop as the ten SKE members on stage are now suddenly very quiet, and the 25 year old girl sighs at her own question, knowing full well she's not going to get any help today again. She thinks thoroughly, and almost curses herself for suggesting such a thing as no idea comes to mind, when Jurina's voice breaks the silence.
"What if two other people do the final spin? It's always Rena and I, but we can change," the younger girl offers, not missing the subtle sound of surprise coming from the older Matsui on her left.
Yuka looks up at the ace's words, locking eyes with the confident girl instantly. She's a bit surprised by her suggestion but also can't help but feel relieved, as she was really running out of ideas.
"Jurina," Churi gasps, not believing her ears, knowing full well why her younger friend is suggesting such a thing, "that's not..."
"Do you want to do it with Rena, Churi?" Jurina cuts her off, "it wouldn't be the first time."
Despite Jurina's nonchalant tone, Churi can't help but notice the slight warning behind her words, effectively stopping any retort from leaving her lips.
"It's not a bad idea, but fans are still attached to WMatsui doing it," Yuka answers, before nodding as she gets a sudden idea, "maybe Rena could spin Jurina for a change?"
The older Matsui who's staring into space and still processing what Jurina said suddenly notices that all eyes are now set on her, and she tilts her head to Yuka who's waiting expectantly for her reply.
"Why not," she answers with a small nod, trying her best to compose herself despite her uneasiness. She's not stupid. She knows Jurina only suggested this adjustment to try and get out of an intimate situation with her.
When she feels a sudden pang in her heart she sighs, wishing Jurina could stop having such an effect on her. The younger girl has been avoiding her all day, and her words are a clear sign she's not about to stop her little game anytime soon. Saying that Jurina's actions are bothering her would be the understatement of the year.
"Okay, let's rehearse the song then," Yuka states, clapping into her hands, prompting the members to move to their respective places in an instant.
The rehearsal goes on smoothly until the last ten seconds when Rena makes the final spin, and her lips end up very far away from Jurina's. Of course, they are not supposed to kiss for real, but they still have to maintain the illusion of it. Somehow, Rena senses it's going to be hard to do the trick when Jurina purposely turns her head away way more than required.
Yuka, who has been checking the choreography from aside, raises a surprised eyebrow at the strange scene that has just unfolded in front of her. It's not unusual to witness Rena acting this way to make sure Jurina's lips don't inadvertently end up on hers. She did it a lot at first when the younger girl used to love trying to steal a kiss during their first performances of the song. But seeing the 'kissing monster' desperately trying to avoid a kiss? That's definitely a first.
"Do we need to rehearse the song again?" Yuka asks the two Matsui, immediately noticing that they are avoiding each other's eyes. Their uneasiness startles her but the short-haired girl still chooses to insist, as she's not one to stop rehearsing a choreography until it's fully mastered.
"No, it's okay," Rena answers, guessing by Jurina's behavior it's not going to change a thing anyway, "I'll manage fine."
"As you wish," Yuka says, not missing the small sigh of relief from Jurina. She doesn't know what's going on with these two, but it's really starting to disturb her, "the next song we need to rehearse is
Oki Doki."
"Do I need to rehearse that?" Jurina asks, moving forward to take a doubtful peek at the sheet.
"You're right. You're not on
Oki Doki as you're doing a duet with Mayu just after," Yuka nods, looking up, "you don't have any SKE songs to rehearse anymore. You're free to go."
"Okay," Jurina says, "then I'll leave you to it," she finishes, briefly waving at the members, before exiting the stage.
Rena follows Jurina's retreating form until she's out of view, wondering if her fight to reduce the distance between them proved to be in vain. Jurina clearly wants to impose it again, and the older Matsui is not sure anything she says or does will change anything. Does she even has the strength to continue fighting for their relationship? As much as it pains her to admit it, maybe Jurina was right that day. Maybe it's really the end of WMatsui.
Airi lays down on the floor, shutting her eyes and placing her hand over her now racing heart.
Oki Doki is a really tiring song to dance, and she always feels some apprehension when she knows they have to perform it, as she fears the immediate lack of energy that follows. Thankfully, as it's an AKB concert tonight, the SKE members don't perform too many songs. That's a small consolation.
Tilting her head to her right, she watches Churi who's sitting by her side and gazing at the now dark stadium. She knows her friend always loved that song, but it always impresses her when she manages to get through the choreography without breaking a sweat. How does she manage such an exploit? That's a mystery she still hasn't unraveled.
"I don't know how you can always be so energetic on that song," Airi comments, still trying hard to catch her breath.
"I can't help it. I love it," Churi smiles, her breathing so constant you wouldn't believe she just danced during almost five minutes.
Airi sits up and watches as the other SKE members leave the stage. She grasps the bottle of water in front of her and takes a sip, her eyes then wandering around the still empty stadium. Her thoughts then drift to Rena, and she frowns as she remembers what happened during the
Kiss Datte Hidarikiki rehearsal.
"Is it me, or Jurina is having an odd behavior today?" Airi asks, immediately noticing how Churi freezes at her question.
Silence engulfs them as Churi chooses to stay quiet for a while, and Airi really believes her question is going to stay unanswered until Churi speaks up.
"I know."
"She's clearly avoiding Rena," Airi comments, before remembering what happened last night, "Why did she ask to switch rooms if she didn't want to stay with Rena in the first place?" she asks, hoping to finally get an explanation to the ace's strange behavior.
"It's not her fault. I'm the one who asked to switch rooms," Churi replies, a small sigh leaving her lips at her not so brilliant idea.
"Why did you do that?" Airi gasps, not believing the girl's action. Obviously, Jurina did not want to share a room with the older Matsui that night, so why did she pull such a stunt?
"I... messed up," Churi whispers, remembering the painful confrontation with the younger SKE member that followed Airi's departure. That's not something she ever wants to go through again.
"Sometimes, I just don't get Jurina. She made Rena pretty upset, and it's not the first time. I know she's your friend, but what is wrong with her?" Airi hisses. She knows her irritation is really showing but she can't help it as Rena's pained expression flow her mind.
"Don't be so hard on her. She's not in her right mind," Churi protests.
"So you know something. What is it?" Airi asks, surprised by the angry stare she's getting.
Churi's gaze progressively softens as she notices her friend's clueless look. A part of her really wants to confide in her, but another knows she just can't.
"I'm sorry. Jurina was already mad enough at me yesterday. If she learns that I betrayed her confidence...", Churi sighs, already imagining the girl's wrath if a single word inadvertently escaped her lips.
"I don't understand," Airi protests, clearly frustrated to be kept in the dark.
"Airin, please. Don't insist," Churi pleads.
"Fine," Airi sighs, brushing her hair in frustration at Churi's refusal to cooperate.
Both girls suddenly divert their attention to the stadium when they hear small droplets of water falling.
"That was not planned," Airi states, bothered by this unexpected turn of events. She can't help but dread the three-hours concert, knowing full well nothing ever goes as planned when bad weather is involved. She still remembers vividly the last time they had to sing under the rain. It's not her best memory.
The 28 year old girl releases a small sigh of relief as she spots the backstage entrance. There was a bit of traffic when she left her apartment, and for a minute, she really wondered if she would make it in time. Glancing at her watch, she notices she still has half an hour until the beginning of the concert, and she pushes the door once the guards have checked her identity.
As soon as she steps in, a few heads turn around to look at her. Conversations stop on her way and the younger members nod respectfully at her, whereas the older ones greet her. It's really unusual to see the stylish short-haired girl at a AKB concert - as she's not a member of the group anymore - and she can't help but smile in amusement at all the surprised looks she gets.
Her phone suddenly rings and she pauses, curiously rummaging through her handbag. She lets out a small chuckle as she reads the short text she just received, immediately replying to it. According to all the exclamation marks in it, someone is really eager to see her. She can't really blame the younger girl. It's already been more than three months since she saw her favorite SKE member, and she's part of the reason why she decided to participate in this event, even if it's just for one song. As much as she loves modeling, she sometimes misses her fellow AKB members.
As she pushes the dressing room's door she waves at a few members in the corridor, before stepping in the empty room and spotting the familiar
Plastic no Kuchibiru outfit that's waiting for her. Taking her coat off and leaving her bag aside, her fingers graze the costume a few seconds later, her mouth instantly tugging into a small smile.
Lost in her musing, she doesn't hear footsteps quickly approaching behind her, and jumps when she feels someone encircling her waist. As slender long fingers come into view and a head leans against her back she relaxes, knowing full well who the affectionate girl is.
"Jurina," she exclaims, squeezing the hands that are tightening around her waist, "how are you?"
"I'm fine," the SKE member replies, a smile moving to her lips as she relishes the older girl's presence, "I missed you."
"I missed you too," Mariko murmurs, disentangling herself from the embrace to face the girl and caress her cheek, "you're sure you can go through a three-hours concert?" she asks, gazing worriedly at her ankle.
"Yes, it's fully healed," Jurina insists, shutting her eyes as she enjoys the soft touch, before raising an amused eyebrow, "do you have a spy in SKE? I don't remember mentioning my small injury to you."
"Pretty much the whole country knows it when you take a week break," Mariko answers, chuckling when her friend rolls her eyes, "I read it on Rena's Google+. Jurina this, Jurina that. This girl likes you a lot."
"Really?" Jurina exclaims. She knows the older Matsui updates her blog a lot, but as she doesn't check it very often, Mariko's words surprise her. Does she really mention her that much?
"I'm glad you told her," Mariko murmurs, proud her younger friend has followed her advice. She really wasn't sure she would, knowing how unsure she was feeling about a confession.
"What?" Jurina asks, puzzled, until realization hits her and she averts her eyes sheepishly.
"Wait... You haven't told her how you feel?" Mariko gasps.
"I tried!" Jurina exclaims, before pausing when she realizes her voice inadvertently pitched up in frustration. She tries to compose herself and waits until she knows she's more calm to continue, "When you left, I was going to tell her..." her voice trails off, sighing when the scene flashes in her head. It's already been three months, but she still remembers this moment as if it was yesterday. And it still hurts as much.
"And?" Mariko pushes.
"Just as I was about to confess, she told me I was like a little sister to her," Jurina replies, feeling her own voice breaking at the admission.
"Jurina," Mariko murmurs, gently wrapping her arms around the girl's waist and tightening her embrace when she feels the slight tremble of the body against her.
"I know you were trying to help, and I don't blame you for trying," Jurina continues, leaning her head against the girl's shoulder, trying to get as much comfort as she can, as the painful reality leave her lips, "but that's all I'll ever be to her."
"I'm sorry..." Mariko's voice trails off, suddenly feeling a bit guilty for giving the girl false hopes. Somehow, she really believed Jurina had a chance. Did she really misinterpret Rena's attitude?
The heavy moment suddenly gets interrupted when Sae suddenly barges in a few minutes later, her eyes wandering around the room as if she's searching for something, until they fall on the two girls.
"It's pouring hard," she warns, a grimace moving to her lips, "brace yourselves, this concert is going to be a nightmare," she grumbles, before exiting the room, sighing in frustration as she obviously hasn't found was she was desperately looking for.
"Thank you, Mariko," Jurina says, a playful smile moving to her lips as she retreats back from the older girl's embrace, "you had to bring us the rain."
"I did no such thing," Mariko chuckles, slapping the cheeky girl's arm, before ruffling her hair in amusement, glad to see the light back in her eyes, "come on, we have a concert to attend."
When Rena woke up this morning, she promised herself to forget about her complicated relationship with Jurina for one day. That wasn't too much to ask, was it? Apparently yes, as she hasn't stopped thinking about the girl all day. Not even for one minute. The younger girl's distant behavior should have helped her focus on the concert's preparations, but it had made things worse. The
Kiss Datte Hidarikiki suggestion had been the icing on the cake.
Just after the
Oki Doki performance, a staff member had asked Rena to tell Jurina she was needed on stage for a last minute sound check, and she had agreed to share the information if she ever encountered the younger girl on her path. She had looked for her for a bit, before giving up when she was nowhere to be found.
Now, as she knows the concert will soon begin, she makes her way to the dressing room to get dressed for the first concert's song, River. She wants to convince herself she's finally going to be able to let her worries aside to fully focus on the concert. Her fingers are about to turn the door handle when she hears Jurina's voice on the other side and she pauses. As she listens a bit, she finally recognizes the other girl she's speaking with and she smiles, imagining how ecstatic the younger SKE member must be to be seeing Mariko.
Rena slowly releases the door handle, now hesitating to come in. Somehow, she feels Jurina's smile would falter immediately is she entered the room, and she doesn't want to interrupt such a happy reunion. As she ponders coming back in a few minutes, she can't help but catch a bit of their conversation, and she widens her eyes at Mariko's sudden outburst.
What is she talking about?
She starts feeling dizzy as Jurina's retort follows immediately. Hospital. Little sister. Why do her words sound so familiar? Her heart starts racing as the younger girl's words flow through her. She just got the missing piece of the puzzle. Now she finally knows why Jurina has been behaving oddly all these months and desperately trying to distant herself from her. That day, at the hospital, she had deeply hurt the younger girl just as she was about to say something very important.
As Jurina's pronounces her last words, Rena can't help but shake her head in disapproval. She clumsily takes a step back and leans against the wall behind her, knowing she has heard enough. She listens to her heart that's hammering so much inside her chest it's starting to really hurt, until her breathing suddenly hitches as realization hits her. A lonely tear soon grazes her cheek and she immediately shuts her eyes, in a mix of frustration and sadness, until a faint whisper leaves her lips, "You're wrong, Jurina."
TO BE CONTINUED