JPHiP Forum
AKB48 Fanfics => AKB48 Fanfics => Topic started by: Llyloo on November 18, 2012, 12:35:33 PM
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[Removed]
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I cant stand this! Its too sad (T^T)
Thank
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This broke my heart.....more and more......
Thanks for the one-shot.....really lovely....
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Good story. But this is so sad!!! :cry: :cry: :cry:
Thanks for making me feel sad tonight! XD
Thanks for writing MaYuki Llyloo-san . :bow: :bow:
Hope you write more of them in the future.
Please next time make it a happy one. XD
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im not into mayuki..but after i read this :cry: :cry: :cry:
this is so sad!!!MY GOD...
:gyaaah: :gyaaah: :gyaaah:
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Oow ** Thanks to all!
I'm sorry to have written something so sad >///<
I hesitated long before accepting that it is translated into English. XD I felt a little monstrous to do that to my OTP.
I have some ideas for things most happy ~ I'll try to write it.
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:cry: :bleed eyes:
Omg so sad! I cried so hard here!it's so good ><
Thank you o/ can't wait to read other thing from you ^^
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omg no this cant be happening its too sad but thank you anyways for the mayuki fanfics but i literally cried :cry: :( :cry: :( :cry: :( :cry: :(
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OMG..
Same as above..
Guess everybody felt the same..
Well written.. We're all so sad now.. T.T
Gloomy morning for me..
The fiction is just so sad..
In the end they died together?
Well, that's not really the sad part..
I felt the part that's more sad is when Mayuyu tried to deny the fact..
T.T Heart breaks now.. T.T
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:fainted:
Omg! so sad this story.
When i read that yukirin has dead i´m in shock too /like mayuyu
:stoned:
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omfg if you listen carefully, you can hear the sound of my heART BREAKING. ;A;
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Thanks all for your comments, although...
Ow. I feel like a monster now... T_____T. Sorry. >///<
I'll try to write something more happy xD, even if I'm good to do it.
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Don't feel like a monster!
We all may be heartbroken, but we all loved it o/ at least I did^^
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I love thissss >< their love is priceless!!!
I really really can't stand whenever I read something like this, the love they have for each other is so beautiful.
@Llyloo : you're not a monster, your fic made me happy to know that nothing can replace the love between human. Thank you :] I'm looking forward in the next fic, sad story doesn't mean it bad
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this one shot is amazing! :bow: please keep writing! :on chew:
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Sad. but nice too.. :cry:
this OS... great! thank you :cry:
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Tu ne me cites même pas !! :sweatdrop:
Bref !
It drives crazy too when I read it for the first time; If you touch the Mayuki you going too suffer !! :angry: :angry:
But when I read it for the second time, I felt really down.. :(
But it's cool still that you write it !
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@lilycrazy17 : Désolée >< je ne savais pas que tu avais un compte !
Thank you all \o/
Yeah, so it's Lilycrazy17 who had translated my fanfic in english xD.
I've some ideas of fanfic, one one-shot and one long fanfic ~ I'll try to write it soon.
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woah il y a des french dans se forum... en faite je le savais déjà pour lilycrazy17
and this fanfic is just so beautiful XD and sad...
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Oui oui mais en même temps on vient toutes de l'autre forum XD Non ? :D
And ThanX Lyloo :twothumbs
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Woah! Amazing teaser. I def want to continue reading :) Looking forward to your next chapter!!
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In behalf of all the very few Takayuu shippers, thank you so much for liking Takayuu <3
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Hello !
I'm not dead xD sorry for the waiting, I'm tired and very busy in school ! But I just finish the first chapter ! Yaaaaay ~ ( Even if I think it's a bad chapter, I'm not satisfied )
So... I'll send it to my translator and I'll post once it been translated. ( unless you want to read it in French xD ).
So I think I'll post in the coming days.
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Nice teaser o/ I hope your translator don't take too long ^^
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Can I read it in French?... Aaaah It sounds Interesting because of Mayuki and for Takayuu... I don't know... I love them because they seems good friends
Je comprend mieux le français XD
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I cant read french >< but thanks anyways o/ I guess google translate will work now xD
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Ooohhh, it's amazing! :heart:
My French is a bit rusty, not good enough to type my reply in French, but I got your storyline so far.
And I love your writing style, it's somewhat poetic and those short sentences are very fitting for Yuki's current state of mind.
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at first I thought Yuki is going to die :catglare: but I'm relived she didn't :deco:
Mayu transfred at the same class as her at the end not it's not the end it's the begaining of their story :P
ton style d’écriture est vraiment excellent :twothumbs
je crois la version française est meilleure que la version anglaise ;)
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I didn't think so many people understand French, I think I'll post both versions now.
Les versions originales sont généralement meilleures ( sans vouloir vexer ma chère traductrice xD j'ai de la chance d'avoir quelqu'un faisant un aussi bon boulot ** ), je suis heureuse que ça plaise, XD.
Thanks all \o/
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I understand roughly what happens since my french is not that good, surtout le francais litteraire, je ne lis pas bcp de romans :nervous
Donc, j'attends la version anglaise. Ca a l'air interessant et serieux mais j'espere qu'il y aura aussi des moments romantiques dans les prochaines chapitres :wub:
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wow il ya beaucoup de personnes qui savent parler le français dans ce forum je savais pas et dire que je pensait que j'étais la seul :rofl:
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En fait, j'ai pas lu un longue texte en francais depuis longtemps. Ca m'a fait un peu de mal a la tete XD
C'etait une bon pratique quand meme. Merci :P
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Wow, c'est vraiment intéresant comme histoire. :)
En plus, c'est vraiment bien fait aussi... il y a quelques erreurs, mais c'est pas si grave que ça. XD
Version française ou anglaise ça ne me dérange pas du tout, c'est quand même très bien.
Continue comme ça
Je parle and je comprend très bien le français, mais je ne suis un bon traducteur :lol: XD
mais honnêtement j'aime mieux l'anglais que le français.
Moi non plus je ne savais pas qu'il y a des gens qui savent parler français ici, c'est vraiment surprenant. XD
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wow! Quel chapitre interressant, j'aime beaucoup la façon dont tu écris l'histoire. Aaaah si je pouvais écrire comme ça en français...
Watanabe Mayu a l'air très intéressante dans ce fanfic!
Il y a trop de gens qui comprenne le français. pas que soit mal. C'est juste surprenant!
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at first I thought Yuki is going to die :catglare: but I'm relived she didn't :deco:
Mayu transfred at the same class as her at the end not it's not the end it's the begaining of their story :P
mo-chan, that's a spoiler you're just giving us.... :grr: :on yellcard:
But I'm so curious what happened to Yuki????? :gyaaah:
I can't wait for the english version.... :frustrated:
(I don't want to use google translate though)
yes just like a teaser :lol:
you have to wait anzai-san because the one who is going to translate is in Japan now :P ( so lucky I want to go too XD )
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Merci d'avoir répondu à ma demande! :D
Wahaaaa! J'aime comment, tu écris!!! J'aimerai bien écrire comme ça! :roll:
Des phrases simples c'est pas si mauvais... :)
Il y a trop de gens qui comprennent le français ici, j'aurais pas crue!
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Ok guys, watching you guys writing French making me so jealous and feel lonely TT.TT
I wish i new French like some of you ><
I'm waiting, waiting for the English version, waiting for Anzai to come back...
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I'm back and I already finish the translation. I give it to Lyloo this evening and it will be no long before the update !! :cow: :cow:
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Wow.. you actually killed mayuyu.. it's great!! I love death-themed fanfic XD
When i saw the title "48 days to write you destiny" i thought someone already dead, but God tease him/her. He gave him/her 48 days as a second chance to finished the unfinished bussiness in this world. XD
sent from my heart, with love~ #disgust
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Hehe Thank you !
I'll start to write the second chapter now ~
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Thanks for the english version! Really amazing and intense! Looking forward to your next chapter :D
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Ahhh Yuko est aussi une faucheuse. Oshiri sisters faucheuse! XD
Mayu est trop serieuse ici. Mais pourra-t-elle prendre Yuki? J'espere qu'elle ne pourra pas mais comme Mayu a toujours execute son contrat...
C'est tres interessant comme histoire. J'attends les updates!! :cow:
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Yuko n'a pas exactement le même rôle que Mayu, mais disont qu'elles se connaissent assez :D
Hehe. Pour le moment j'ai plusieurs fins de prévu, happy ou pas :D.
Merciii o/
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cette histoire est plutot un peu compliqué :nervous
Mayu don't let Yuki so easly like that :smhid
j'ai hâtte de lire le prochain chapitre :grin:
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Ouaaaah je kiff totalement!!!!
Il y a trop de tension!!! C'est trop bien!
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Je n'ai rien à dire...
C'est juste trop bien!
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Really love your fic :) The story and the characters are well done :D Thanks for the update! I look forward to the next chapter :)
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Waaaaaaaaah trop bien, c'est trop bien!!!!!!!!!!!
Très interressant!! Un petit mouvement :deco: (sans le sourir)
Merci pour le Mayuki!!!!!!
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Yes, finally some serious MaYuki interaction :inlove:
And we get to know more about Mayu too (trying not to spoil those who don't read French here, but I'm too lazy to write in French, it takes effort for me :nervous).
Looking forward to more!! 48 days is running out, MaYuki needs to get going lol.
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I used google translate, so I understood the main points. Still, there are some important points that I didn't understand yet, so english version please :D.
I love Mayuki in this chapter, when Yuki treated Mayu's wounds.
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Mayu est un shinigami!! :twisted:
Yuki est vraiment terrifié de Mayu :sweatdrop:
même elle est finit par dormir ensemble :wub: :deco:
enfin Yuki a toujours son côté Mamarin :D
je ne comprend toujours pas la relation de Takamina et Mayu bon je crois qu'il faudrait attendre. :catglare:
:cathappy: j'espère lire d'autre post qu'on parle seulement de Mayuki :inlove:
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Wha! I can now properly comment!
Ahhhh, so Yukirin really is starting to care about Mayuyu. I wonder if she's ever going to be spared by Mayu in the end? :frustrated:
Can't wait to read Chapter 5 when it's ready and translated! :hee:
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Whaaa~ I remember when I read this, my heart broke. ToT CenNezu~ Center will always love Nezumi~
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Je ne sais pas quoi dire...
Interresent! Très interressent!! C'est morbide mais vivant. Comment Dire? Le moment où Yuki réalise le destin de Mayu était captivant (j'ai relu se passage plusieurs fois)
- "Et je pense qu'au fond de toi, Yuki-chan, tu sais quel choix à fait Mayu."
J'écarquillais les yeux. Un choix. Un jeu. Quitter le plateau. La situation. Le contrat. Son comportement. Elle ne semblait pas vouloir se battre. Elle ne semblait plus vouloir combattre. Alors son choix. C'est... Je me lève. Brusquement. La chaise sur laquelle j'étais assise tombant au sol dans un fracas. Qu'importe. Je n'ai pas le temps. Pas le temps pour ça. Je cours.
J'aime vraiment ce moment! Elle court pour la retrouver.
Le chapitre est triste mais la fin. La fin est trop marante!!
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I was completely breathless while reading this fiction. Oh my god, the intensity. zomg. I don't know what to say other than: "Zo-my god" and "Oh my god".
I have no words to express my emotions about this chapter (in a good way!). But do please update the next one! I'm going to go to a corner and catch my breath, whew. :on_hot:
Though I will say the ending was pretty funny! Oh Yuko, you pervert. :on GJ:
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Finally i have my time to read this,
God this fic is full of darkness i love it
The next chapter is about mayu past,im wondering why she's choose to not killed yuki already,is she's love her?
And why yuki? All of people why it must yuki? Well i know its mayuki but im really curious the reason LOL
And why yuko think that mayu is the one who deserved to be saved?
But for me the one i care yuki LOL
Thank for the update,its really great....
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Thanks for the update :D Really liking this! Mayu and Yuki's story is interesting, and it's interesting how the two plot lines may interact at any time. The ending with Yuko was funny :P I'm guessing the person Yuko was talking about saving was minami.
Looking forward to your next chapter :)
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Waah your fic's so great :D At first I was like 'okay,I don't get a thing about this' but then on the next chapters everything started making sense.
I love the TakaYuu parts SO MUCH ;u; just imagining Yuko like in Majisuka Gakuen and a serious Minami, together, makes my heart go all doki doki <3
Now I regret I didn't learn French in high-school Dx but I'll wait patiently for the ENG updates cause this fic is OOOSSSOOOOM <3
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In translation !! And not lost XD
Be patient ! :glasses:
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wow vraiment je m'attendais à un passé sombre
yeah so dark
elle était vendue comme une chose avec sa soeur
puis Sae est tué devant ses yeux
Mayu n'est d'autre qu'une enfant perdue dans son monde cruel et sans pitié
je crois que Yuki.avait un lien avec le passé de Mayu si c non donc je veux comprendre pourquoi Yuki
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Raaah! le passé de Mayu est vachement triste.
Ses parents la vendent avec sa soeur pour 20000 yens seulemment....
Puis la mort de sa soeur devant ses yeux... TRISTE!!! :cry:
Ensuite le tourbillon de haine qui l'englobe.
C'est juste trop horrible.
Donc Mayu veut voir si Yuki arrivera à survivre sans devenir comme elle.
Mais pourquoi Yuki??
Aaaaa! Vraiment révélateur ce chapitre! :thumbsup
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Une fic en français sur un forum anglais j'adore plus besoin de traduire certain mot mdr :mon star:
Vraiment au début l'histoire me semblais spéciale mais en réalité j'ai continué à lire et je la trouve super. :mon fyeah:
Le passe de Mayu est assez sombre la pauvre. :mon cute:
S'il te plait met le prochain chapitre rapidement :mon pray2:
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First thing comes to mind when I read all of it: YOU KILLED SAE ! :OMG:
Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, poor Mayuyu and Sae. :fainted:
Yukirin! Find a way to save not only you yourself but also Mayuyu! :frustrated:
This isn't your worst chapter! None of your chapters are worst, bad or anything on the negative side! :bingo:
Looking forward to the next update! :on gay:
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She likes to kill people in her fic...
But she made me a promise ^^ :cow: :cow: :cow: :cow:
I won' tell but I quite happy when she did it ^^ :twothumbs :twothumbs :twothumbs
I have free days for translation. Hope the next will come soon.
It was a really good chapter no matter what she said.
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donc j'ai fait les deux. Si vous êtes pas content, je m'en fiche :D.
j'aime ce que tu as dit :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
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Already want ch.8 even if its not english,i would understand little by little LOL
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NAAAAAAN!!!!!Je l'ai lu il y a longtemps et j'ai oublier de commenter!! Impardonnable!! IMPARDONNABLE!!!!
En plus je trouve que ce chapitre est très intéressant! Y'a des moments fun et d'autres sérieux!! Captivant!!
J'aime bien Yuko... :peace:
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Sooner translated than posted ^^ :thumbsup
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I couldn't help but laugh when Takamina is acting all tsundere toward Yuko. :hiakhiakhiak:
Can't wait for the next chapter on the Oshiri Sisters relationship and kudos to lilycrazy17 for translating the stories to English! :on woohoo:
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Thanks for the eng update! LOVED THIS CHAPTER!!! Takamina and Yuko have a very interesting relationship, and I'm loving how its developing :D The ending was pretty cute and funny. Either Yuko is a very clingy sleepr or she did that on purpose to harass Takamina :P Looking forward to the next chapter! :)
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yuko avait fait une promesse à Mayu c pourquoi Yuko a dit que c Mayu qui doit vivre
donc Mayu peut.mon montré son vrai visage que pour Yuko.
et about Yuki je crois c fait elle deja amoureuse de notre petit cyborg mais c just ne s'est rendue compte de ses sentiment pour Mayu.
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Maintenant c'est le passé de Yuko! Plus on lit plus en se sent triste pourMayu...
une date critique? lejour ou Mayu a décider de se libérer?
Moi aussi je pense que Yuki a un petit quelque chose sur Mayu (des sentiment)
Merci beaucoup!!!!
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Je n'ai pas ecrit en reponse pour qq temps mais j'aime bcp le dernier chapitre! C'est celui que j'aime le plus maintenant.
Yuko comme protectrice de Mayu est trop cool. J'aime bien la connection entre les deux :twothumbs
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(Yay, it's my 100th comment!)
Chapter 7 was so funny. Poor Takamina always suffering because of Yuko xD I really like they relationship in this fic,so much! I hope to see more TakaYuu!
Chapter 8 was interesting too(I'm translating it with google translator LOL cause I can't wait for the ENG ver... It's quite accurate actually and I could catch the idea of the chapter) Mayu's story is so sad :C Poor Sae,too. I like how protective Yuko is with Mayu, like they are sisters.
I also want to know what will happen between Mayu and Yuki now! So many intrigues!
I'll wait patiently for next chapter :D continue with the great work!
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I want chapter 9! LOL
Want more mayuki lovey dovey scene,well i know its a weird if added that scene,but why not?its really sweet in if they learn about love
Love is the one that can make your humanityside win,And yuki will give mayu that
Thank for the update
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@LoyalFlutistYeah !!! Some gratitude !! Thank you :cow: :thumbup :thumbup :cathappy:
She makes me work as a convict...
Even during my exam session...
But It's okay :tama-mad:
I'm translating right now. Waiting for the live to begin !!
@Suicchin : Sorry for the late. :bow:
Bye :twothumbs
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Thanks for the update :) It was interesting to get to learn more about Mayu and Yuko from their past :D
As always I look forward to the next chapter!!! ^_^
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Ahhhhhh, Yuko really cares for Mayuyu. Their relationship is... I don't know how to put it into words. But I like it! :farofflook:
Looking forward to the next chapter! :hee:
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Woah! Magnifique :twothumbs
J'ai adoré le discours de Yuko. Un très grand pour Takamina par contre!
Un bisous! Un baiser!! Kissu! Je suis choquée... C'est Takamina la preums....
Non mais franchement t'as vécus toute ses choses ou quoi? Tu dois vraiment réfléchir pour trouver ce qu'elles pensent.
Wouuuuu! Takayuu will change the world!! (j'avais juste envie de le dire en Anglais)
Meri pour cet update! I want Mayuki!! Je veut du Mayuki! Wouuuuuuhouuu!!!! :D
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TakaYuu eventuellement !! :heart:
Yuko est tres determinee et c'est bien que Takamina va la soutenir maintenant.
Prochain chapitre, more MaYuki please :cow:
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cette histoire est vraiment émouvante et je me demande comment Yuko et Takamina vont s'y prendre contre leurs parents
et aussi Mayu va se suicider ou quoi? et Yuko sera t elle au point pour sauver Mayu
même cette histoire est seulemt und Fiction vraiment j'ai peur maintenant qu' elles vont s'emprendre au grand gens de la mafia (@.@)
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Wow! I seriously love this chapter!! The revelation and the development was amazing! I really loved the whole concept of Yuko choosing Minami and trying to show her the truth, and Minami having to accept it & now join the fight as well! Really well done and written! & I love the Takayuu relationship!!!!! Can't wait to see more! Thanks for the update, looking forward to the next chapter to see how the story and characters play out :D
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Ahh, thanks for the update! I just love how protective Yuko is with Mayu. Takayuu is awesome!! Go kick some ass!! Hopefully, we get some Mayuki in the next chapter, cant wait :twothumbs
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Ahhhhhh, Takayuu~ :luvluv1:
And like nik11 commented, I love the relationship between Yuko and Mayu. Oshiri Sisters forever~ :luvluv2:
Can't wait to read the next chapter! (andwillalwaysbotheryouonTwitter8D) :hee:
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Beautiful story, surreal yet realistic :panic:
TakaYuu.......... :twisted:
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OMG!! OMG! Mayu and yuko!
Yuki do something please...
I hate the parent,why they do cruel thing like that
Thank for the update,i think my french skill get better but i dont have a confidence to comment in fr...LOL
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JE SUIS DESOLE de ne pas avoir commenter plus tôt!!!! J'étais à plusieurs anniversaires, attend pourquoi je raconte ma vie...?
Commentaire:
Oooohlllllaaaa! De l'action! De l'action!! Yuko contre Mayu?? J'y avait pas pensée. Je veux plutôt dire je ne mit attendait pas!!
Est-ce quelqu'un va venir les sauver? Quelqu'un petit? Et donc sauvé la face à Yuko s'il elle échoue? Noooon je doute...
Yuko est une bonne actrice serait-ce possible qu'elle fasse semblant d'être méchante même si elle frappe pour de vrai?
Yayayayayaya! Je m'imagine des trucs!
J'aime bien Yuki... Elle n'a pas peur de mourir de la main de Mayu mais de d'autre... Je sais pas je trouve ça ironique.
Wow long chapitre!!
Merci pour c'te update! Je looking forward (j'ai oublié comment on dit ça en français sur le coup) pour la suite.
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thanks for the update!!!! Really great chapter :D Aw Mayu. Quite the development there in the end. Hopefully this is all part of a plan Yuko and Minami came up with to save the two! Can't wait to see what happens next. Thanks again!
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Holy cow, this chapter took my breath away. (I was again left breathless when reading this) :on_hot:
Yuko! What are you doing?! :shock: And like arrow27 said, I hope this really is part of her and Takamina's plan to saving Mayu and Yuki! :stoned:
Looking forward to the next chapter and will forever bother you to death. :whistle:
(And thanks to the translator as well~ :kneelbow:)
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Noooo, Mayu please don't!!!
This fic is so awesome!! I want the next chapter!!!
Thank you for updating. :)
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C'est magnifique!! J'espére que rien de mauvais c'est passé...
Ce coup de feu! Quelqu'un a-til été tué??? Je verrai surement cela au prochain chapitre!
Et le Takayuu wow!! Elles sont vraiment ensemble!!
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ne me dit pas que Mayu s'est suicidée ou tuée Yuki :shocked
I can't wait to see the next update :cry:
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omg, the fight scene. omg. omg. omg. omg x2134324 more times. It's awesome! Left me breathless and sitting on the edge again! :on GJ:
So it was part of their plan all along! Thank god for that! And I can picture Takamina being all cool and coming to Yuko's side. :farofflook:
Ahhhhhhhhhh, what's with that ending!? I want the next chapter! But at the same time, I'm afraid to know what might happen next! Mayuuuuuu :frustrated:
*cough* Other than that, I look forward to your next chapter~ :hee:
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Wow that must have been tough for Yuko, but I'm glad Minami was by her side :) Great development.
& wow what a cliffhanger :O Can't wait to find out what happened & what's going to happen!
Thanks for the awesome update! Enjoyed the chapter as always :)
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Oh my goodness!!! Mayu, Yuki!!! Ahhh!
I knew it, Yuko had a plan. It was a crazy one though
Your story is so awesome! One of the best that I have read.
Aaaaahhhhhhh! Need the next chapter now!! Please :bow:
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I knew it Yuuko doing it to save Mayuyu... but Mayuyu, what did she do :shocked
Thanks for the English update, finally! I held my breath because I was so nervous reading the continuation :shocked
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Great chapter! Great fight scene! :twothumbs
Please continue your great story :on GJ:
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Ohohoh! très intéressant le moment avec Mayuki! Wouahahaha!!! XD
Les larmes, puis le coup de feu, puis le baiser, puis Mayu choquée!! Trop bien! :twothumbs
Wow la fin! Bim! Mayuyu! Inconsciente! :banghead:
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J'adore ce chapitre même que je ne m'attendais pas à ce que cela se passe
but I want the next chapter I want it I want it I want it I waaaaaaant iiiit !!! :banghead: :banghead:
s'te plais !! :mon cute: :mon cute: :mon cute:
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Noooo Mayuuuu :shocked
Ahhh can't wait next chapter :banghead:
Next chapter please :bow:
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It's very interesting now XD Both Mayu and Yuki have feelings toward each other :wub:
But MAYUU!!!!!!! :shocked
Next chapter please!!
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NOOOOO :cry:
I can't believe it's coming to an end soon, time flies :cry:
I hope it will be a happy ending for all of them :bow:
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Yay! Mayu didn't kill Yuki! Thank god for that! :on woohoo:
The fighting scene is great as always. Oh Yuko and Takamina~ :hehehe:
BUT THE ENDING. WUT. JUST WHAT WAS THAT. NO. MAYUUUUUUUU! :scared: :scared: :scared:
Good job on this chapter and can't wait for the next update~ Just don't be killing Mayu. :on shady:
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Glad Mayu didn't go through with the contract. But wow intense fight. Minami's father is def cruel!!
& Poor Mayu! I hope she'll be okay.
Thanks for the update. You're story really is one of the best out there. Great writing!
Looking forward to the next chapter :)
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mayu has no memory?? :? oh well it it probably for the best :yep:
shame its finish, i love this fic :cry:
i love what yuki said to mayu about settling in together and to protect her :love::inlove:
and awww yuko's laughing :heart:
thanx for the upadate :cow: :bow: :deco:
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mmm The End~
eeh seeing this fic ending makes me really sad T.T
the truth c'est que j'ai pensé si Mayu perd la mémoire sa va beaucoup l'aider.
so now time for critics XD
je ne sais comment le dire ta fason d'écrire est dificile a lire
tes phrases sont vraiment courte rather than having to stop every
few words for a pause the single continuous sentence
allows me and other readers to read at their own pace.
enfin pour la season2 of course!!! je veux voir la saison2 si c possible je veux vraiment la lire cette histoire est vraiment interressante I can't wait to read more of your fics please cantinue this story ^^
je serais la première pour lire the 1er chapitre de la saison2.
merci pour cette fiction see you.soon :D
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Great conlusion! It was open ended which was good, & it was an ending that promised alot for the gour girls :)
I really enjoyed reading your story. It was truly great. The plot was creative and full of surprises. Everything tied together so was and was believable. It was action packed & sweet.
The characters were of course awesome. Each character was unique & had distinct traits that made them, themselves. Their personalities and ideals were realistic, and their developing relationship with one another was interesting to follow. I loved the development overall.
& lastly, once again great end :) These four are really something! I'd def be up for another season of this fic! It'd be great to see where the four of them end up. Plus Minami's dad could still be an issue. &it'd also be interesting to see other characters. Mayuki&Takayuu are amazing!
I look forward to your future fics! Great job once again and thank you for this fic :D
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Nooooooon!! Pas la fin! C'te fanfic était trop bien!! Mayu est trop mignonne à la fin!! :wub:
Yuko est trop cool :drool:
Une suite non mais tu rigole....
JE LA VEUX cette suite et en même je ne la veux pas parce que sinon tu vas lui redonner la mémoire... :nervous
Llyloo j'ai cru que t'étais plus là...
MARCI BEAUCOUP!!! :bow:
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Thanks for the great fic and I support the idea of having 2nd season!!
I wanna see the moment when Mayuyu regains her memories.... pls!
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Ah, so it's finally finished~ It was quite an enjoyable ride! :on gay:
Though this may sound strange, I do agree with how Yuki feels about Mayu's memory being lost due to the head trauma. Until she gets it all back for some reason, then she'll be happy and won't have to worry about being killed or killing people anymore. :on drink:
And Takayuu. They're both so cute with their interactions. :luvluv1:
Thank you so much for writing this fiction! And I should also thank the translator for having it in English for us to read it in a language that we can read in! :luvluv1: :luvluv2: :luvluv1: :luvluv2:
I can't wait if you're planning to do a season 2 with it~ :shy2:
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First off, thank you for writing and finishing the story. I really enjoyed it. The plot is something new, dark and it's good change from the usual stuffs.
Second, my comments (only because you ask for it):
Your way of writing is unique, with short sentences and sometimes just a word. I think it fits with the mood of the story well and conveys the feeling of emptiness that characters feel in their life. Although perhaps you could use different styles of for different characters to separate them out, else they'll give off the same image (unless that's your intention, I can understand it seeing characters here share the same kind of feelings to an extent).
I hope you continue the story after their escape and it will explore more about each relationship and how they will bond with each other. I'm looking forward to whatever you decide! :)
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First of all, I enjoyed the fact that you posted the original version plus the translation. I've been studying French for a while, and it was a way of challenging myself, and see if I was able to understand.
Second, I honestly loved it; I'm actually not that fond of the Mayuki and Takayuu pairings, but it's not like I hate them or anything... This fic made me like them a little more. Also, I hope you write season 2 soon; I'll be looking forward to it.
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Thanks for your awesome fic, I really like it :twothumbs
Their loves, their fights, their bonds are so precious, aww I love your story :luvluv1:
I'm looking forward to read season 2, please continue your great fic :kneelbow:
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Firstly, thanks all for yours comments, it's make me happy >w<. Very, very happy **. At first, I didn't expect that this fic find as much readers.
So. For my way of writing, I know it can be difficult to read it. Originally, I'm use to write with characters who are... nervous, affraid, always on the run, with many jerky toughts and all. So, now, it's seem that I have some difficulties to have a calm pace. XD I really try when situations are calm but it seem that it's not obvious XD.
I'll try to more adapt my styles to the situations and the character.
And... for the season two, I have the pleasure to tell you that I'll make it \o/ YAAAAAAY. I already have some ideas for three new characters, but the four originals will be here, XD ~~ And I'll try to add others, even if it's just for one or two chapter xD, It's hard for me to control many characters @_@.
I have only one question, so I think I'll just put a poll for have the answer, since for the next season I'll write by myself the english version ( My poor translator think that I'm a tyrant xD And I want to let her write her fics' ) So, I wonder if some people want that I continue to post a french version or want only the english >w<.
So, I'll start it later, when all my ideas will be in order, and because I have an other project of long fanfic :D But it's a secreeet ( for the moment ).
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il y a pas beaucoup de readers who understands french here in this forum mais j'aimerais bien lire les deux version si tu veux ;)
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Tu me perturbes à écrire en anglais et en français dans la même phrase à chaque fois xD
Even if it's for 2 or 3 people, if they want to read a french version, so I'll make it. I really love french so it make me happy to see that xD.
I'll post the two version at the same time and I'll try to keep the same rhytm of posting than if I had only one version. ( Oh, XD I can't think in englis tonight, it's hard to write XD )
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sorry :P
je vais arrêter d'écrire en anglais et en français dans la même phrase si tu veux :rofl:
yay XD
J'aime la version française plus que l'anglais :cathappy: :deco:
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Hello author
As you can see, I'm a new member, and the reason why I registered is to comment for your fiction.
Myself, I love this fic, and the way you wrote it, how you descrip characters, feelings and actions.
Because of those, I really hope that you would give me permission to translate this fic into my first language - VietNamese.
Looking forward to hearing your answer !
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@mo-chan : xD oui en français c'est mieux ~~
@leegumin : Wow, I didn't expect that xD. It make me happy *w*. ( Yay, I'm often happy this times with that fic xD )
Of course you can do it if you want o/ Just put the credits if you can :3
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I have only one question, so I think I'll just put a poll for have the answer, since for the next season I'll write by myself the english version ( My poor translator think that I'm a tyrant xD And I want to let her write her fics' ) So, I wonder if some people want that I continue to post a french version or want only the english >w<.
I wouldn't mind proofreading your english version to correct grammar mistakes and stuff like that... Just saying. If you're interested feel free to PM me :)
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Thank you very much, I'll, of course, put the credit
Once again, thank you !
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No, I don't you're a tyran !! Maybe just a little. I loove you still :thumbsup
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:w00t: woah it's been a while
It's great :thumbsup
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Ahhh, who is talking in the end ? :o who does she miss? :O :o
"Yuki ? Just my girlfriend since some month ago. The most beautiful oshiri in the town. And it’s mine. I’m so proud and glad. "
jajajajaja xD good one xD
and the momento when yuki cooked xDD ahhaha it's not boring! i really like the chapter :3
i'm glad that you started the season 2! :D
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Awesome!! A season 2!!! Love the first part so glad there is a second :D Takayuu is cute and funny as usual! Mayuki is sweet! Glad Mayu can experience an ordinary life with these ppl who care about her :) Lol at Yuki's cooking!!
Thanks for this great update! Looking forward to the next chapter!
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I don't think I commented about Season 1, but
that was like one of the best things I've ever read~
it was put into the, let's reread section of my mind that only has a one digit number of fics currently~
hah... I wonder who that seemingly evil? person at the end is...
ah, so they changed their name, Aizawa~
lovetan as mayuyu's friend of course
the best oshiri is also of course yukirin
and yukirin's cooking is a near death experience it seems~
hooray for season 2~!!
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YAY SEASON 2!
MAYU IS SMART INDEED!! I WONDER IF HER ABILITY GONE TOO? HER WOW ABILITY
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Yaay! Finally, season2 :farofflook:
Takayuu's so cute :luvluv2:
Thanks for update :kneelbow:
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I'm glad you came back with season 2 at hand! :cow:
So I see that Mayu is now living her life as a normal individual... And everyone around her trying to hide her from the dark past, giving her a chance to live normally... Though Yuki's cooking seem to be still terrible as I can tell, LOL. :rofl: Not to mention that perverted squirrel is still around with her hentai mind. :rofl:
Who is it at the end of the chapter? Can't wait for you to reveal who it is. :panic:
I'm excited to see future chapters from you, so I'll be waiting. Thank you for the first chapter of season 2! :deco:
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Hm >< I'm sorry for the time, I'm writing the second chapter but since I work all that week I'll not be able to finish it for the moment. I do it when I can, sorry to make you wait çwç.
Just to say that in the next chapter one character will make his apparition ~~
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yay! :w00t:
I can't wait ! 8)
work hard! :thumbsup
I don't know but I have the feeling it's Jurina XD no I'm wrong :P
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Hi Everybody, It's been a very long time. I'm so sorry. I find a job and my holidays became crazy. It's will be calmer in September.
But I'm not here for that. To be honest I search someone, very good in english, to be my beta reader and check my crazy english before I post since I don't want to bother more LoyalFlutist who is already busy with her own fics and school. For information, there are already a chapter of the season 2 and a OS written which wait to be checked \o.
Thanks you to all the people who read that and if you want you can send me a private message. ><
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doki doki!! great!
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Waaaaaaah ça fait longtemps!!!! J'aime trop cette fanfiction!!! Totalement dark mais trop... J'arrive pas à l'exprimer!
Yukirin est trop cool!!! Jurina et son ami vont être les prochains antagonistes?? :?
Merci pour ce chapitre!!!! :twothumbs
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I know I get pretty busy and stuff, but I'm at least glad I could check on this second chapter of yours. :) Glad to hear that there's another person willing to sit and check your writing aside from me, LOL. :yep:
Now... Hm... Looks like Mayu here does seem to grasp the fact that she's not feeling like her old self anymore. Slowly she's knowing for a fact that everyone around her is lying. Mayu probably feels betrayed and confused, but she has to know that it's for the better of her life. Then again, since this IS the second season, I shouldn't expect too much of a happy scenario revolving around the girl and everyone close to her. :sweatdrop: There's Jurina... Not sure what this means when she's inputted into the situation... Not to mention Rena is in the picture too! Though it was cute that Yuki paid for her melonpan, I wonder what the double Matsui's roles are in this plot? And at the end when Yuki told Mayu that she really wanted to protect the younger girl... My heart just went 'BOOM!' XD So cute and adorable and protective!!! :cathappy:
Thank you very much for uploading this and looking forward to more updates of your work~ :deco:
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waaaahhhh...an update
thanks... :bow:
yuko leave them to protect mayu??
who is the one that hunted them??
can't wait for the next chapter..
update soon.. :bow:
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im just too curious!!
doki doki great as always
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ah~thanks for update, I always wait for your update :kneelbow:
Yuuchan!!!, why do you have to leave?!!!! :gyaaah:
...just love the bond between the Oshiri sisters :wub:
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Why the hell did I just find this? Am I seriously that out of it last week?! :panic: I apologize for the late commenting and reading. :bow:
Now in regard to the story... Oh dear. Mayu surely is getting her memories back slowly over time. And they're nightmares too, so that isn't good at all. Especially when she wakes up to head straight to the bathroom due to the nauseating feeling. Mayuyu! Lemme just give you a hug girl! :bleed eyes: But I'm glad that Yuki (?) is sleeping right next to her for the night at least. But if it didn't help ease her of the nightmares... Then I don't know. :panic:
I'm also glad that Yuko is there to comfort Mayu even for a little bit. Some Oshiri Sisters moment are cute~ And when she told Mayu that she's going to be with Takamina for the night for some 'smexy' stuff, I couldn't help but feel my face heat up slightly. Yuko dominant! :w00t: (Oh God, where is this going, LOL)
But the next morning....
YUKO. Y U LEAVE THEM BEHIND?! :shocked:
I know there must be good reasons, but I feel so bad for both Takamina and Mayuyu... They're close to the squirrel and here she left without much words other than that one note. :doh:
Thank you for posting this up! Looking forward to more of your works and updates in the near future~ :deco:
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I haven't read the whole thing, but I want to comment as early as now. XD Okay so, I know I'm a hundred centuries late to comment in here :lol: but I love this fic
(not so much if you kill everyone in the end)
*Shall be edited with my VIOLENT reactions later on :nervous
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Wow Wow!! Je viens de voir l'update!!!
C'est vraiment triste en quelque sorte. Je me sens mal pour Yuki qui n'arrive pas, à elle seul, à calmer Mayu contrairement à Yuko :cry:
Nooooooooon! La mémoire qui lui revient!!! Je n'imagine pas sa réaction quand elle va se rappeler qu'elle a tirer sur Yuki dans l'intention de la tuer! Ca va être pire que pour les autres meurtre!!!
Pourquoi Yuko les a quitté :? C'est suspect!!!! :catglare:
Bon Bon! A chaque fois que je lit ce que j'ai écrit j'ai l'impression d'être une merde en français..... Pardonne moi! :bow:
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...doki doki...
suspense!!
nyaaa... yukirin's otou-san...
myaa~ good job like always
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oui je sais que j'ai dit que je vais écrire un commentaire hier mais je sais pourquoi il ne s'enregistre pas :panic:
bon voilà je crois que Jurina sais parfaitemenet qui est Mayu ou peut etre l'ancienne Mayu sais qui est Jurina :?
maintement qu'on voit l'apparition du père de Yuki dans l'histoire
ou est la mystérieuse girl du magazin? :wth
Mayu va protéger Yuki de nouveau :roll:
ça pourrait éveiller sa mémoire :3 intéressant XD
Mayuki.... trop de mensonge entre ses deux la
PS: Désolé pour le retard *poke*
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@imteedee, Tii ( you see, I still remember XD ) I'm still waiting for your VIOLENT reactions you know çwç.
mou~ Still haven't read the whole thing! :banghead: Forgive meeeeh :(
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@imteedee, Tii ( you see, I still remember XD ) I'm still waiting for your VIOLENT reactions you know çwç.
mou~ Still haven't read the whole thing! :banghead: Forgive meeeeh :(
t'as vu!! je suis pas la seule :smhid
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... I miss this fic :( ... I hope this is still going :bow:
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Oh sorry, ><
I don't forget that fic, I think about it often but to be honest I'm really busy for the moment. Urgh 8 month without update >< It's been a while. I'll try.. But I can't promise anything for the moment.
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If your busy than that's ok, im happy that your still continuing :twothumbs
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Should read this before! Aaa this story's just so great! Really.
Their bonds toward each other, really the takayuu one and mayuki too
The wmatsui joined, really hoping for yuko to retrun, poor takamina
If you have time author-san, please update this cool story of yours :)
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OMG. There are still people here *-* Hello you, thanks for reading.
Even if it's not really visible since I didn't update since... more than one year (ow... that much) I don't forget that fic and I still have ideas for other, It's that I lack of time for the moment (last year of school it drive me crazy)
But... If I don't have problem, I guess i'll have more time after February since i'm on internship :v I'll try ! ><
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Yeah plz update 😭
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OMG. What a shame xD I said that I'll have more time but it was worse, but I worked on it and the next chapter is almost finished (okay it's been one month that it's almost finished but yeah you know hm -runaway- )
I'll wooooork on it ! >< I'll do it ><
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O M G ! ! !
This fic is really awesome
All the character, the plot, the,, aaahhh
I think this fic should be made into a movie!
This is amazing, Please update author-san :bow: