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Author Topic: [Oneshots] Baking [Shimazaki Haruka & Yokoyama Yui] (Jan 10)  (Read 54886 times)

Offline 0_o

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Re: [Oneshots] Stalker [Matsuoka Natsumi/Anai Chihiro] (June 1)
« Reply #120 on: June 07, 2013, 09:03:04 AM »
Not too sure what I was doing here, idek something happened.
I was thinking maybe Kasai, but that didn't fit and it didn't really seem to fit anyone.
Meh. Angst will be angst.

This will even out the horrible kasai angst and hkt fluffs that i might one day get around to posting

Time

Time? The only thing that could never be returned to a person, every person had a set amount of time they were allowed from the day that they were born. Yet it was as if humans, born to challenge their destinies would constantly try to interfere.

   You don’t believe in God, not even when you lay there on your death bed wondering just where you had gone wrong. You had used up all your time, you knew and so did the doctors that surrounded you. You wonder if maybe if you had just wasted all your time, having spent the majority of your years working trying to achieve that career you had wished for as a child. Yet even now as you stand there having accomplished it all, you just ran out of time.

   You never had enough, from the moment you stepped out of that young idol group looking for a more reliable future you just never had enough. You had to compete, you had to spend more time making up what many around you thought were wasted years. You just never had enough, you remember seeing those invitations for reunions but you had to ignore them. You remember their tenth anniversary, you missed it only having seen a glimpse of the footage on the morning news before rushing to work. They had all been there, but you. Of course you didn’t even have enough time to meet up with them afterwards, the list of excuses never grew – you simply didn’t have enough time.

   You remember getting married to your co-worker who always seemed to have time for you. You remember how even at the wedding, you had to rush because there simply wasn’t enough time. You continued to chase after your career while he did too, yet when it came time for your child to be born he was the one that stepped back. You just didn’t have enough time to raise the child; there were so many other things that commanded your attention.

   You turn and stare at your daughter’s face, it’s foreign you don’t remember the last time you stared at it. That’s probably because the only time you had set aside for your child was the few short months after her birth where your boss deemed you unfit to work. She doesn’t remember that time; she only remembers her childhood where her mother was always missing. You wish you could’ve spent more time with her, could’ve seen her say her first words, could’ve seen her walk her first steps. There were so many things that you missed in her life that you don’t think you deserve her calling you mother. You hope that she won’t turn out like you, that she’ll be so much better and she’ll find someone who will have all the time for her.

   Words don’t come out of your mouth anymore, they say that you’re too fragile to speak so all you can do is stare at the ceiling and occasional visitors wondering where that time went. For now, your mind will stay alert but you remember them saying that it was a matter of time before you stop understanding your thoughts. Just, where did the time go?

   As a child you thought that you would live well past the age of your parents and would get married to some handsome prince. Your parents, they come to visit every week but your mother always breaks down into tears as they leave. They think you don’t hear them asking each other just where they had gone wrong, just why it was that they were losing their only child. You cry too, you feel as if you’ve failed them both even though you had been working so hard so that they would be able to enjoy their retirement. Yet at the same time, when you spent all your time at work, you lost the chance to celebrate their birthdays, to celebrate their anniversaries, to bring their granddaughter for visits. It was always your husband that took up those tasks and apologized for your absence.

   You’re truly thankful for the man that you married and you knew he was just right for you, but you feel guilty for leaving him behind. He was just too caring, always allowing you to chase after your dream while he sacrificed his own. You just wish that you could tell him all the words of love, all the words of thanks that run through your head. Maybe if there had been a little more time, maybe if you hadn’t been so busy chasing after your dream maybe then you wouldn’t be so guilty about leaving him behind. You can only wish that after you leave he will bring up the courage to charm himself a better woman that will have time for both him and your daughter.

   You think that you’ve forgotten all about your younger, carefree days when they step inside your hospital room. They’re familiar, and the tears you see on their face hurts you too. Yet it’s not until they introduce themselves that you remember who they are – the very people you spent your idol days with. People that you thought would have forgotten you just like how you began to slowly forget as you rushed through life. You hear them recounting your younger days with a smile and commenting on how the others will visit later.

   You feel ashamed to have forgotten and left them all behind when they who were just as busy kept you in their hearts. Even though you were never there physically nor mentally they all still thought of you as part of that family that had been formed. Tears well up in your eyes, you wish you could speak even if it were just a simple thank you. Yet you just can’t mumble out those words, no matter how hard you try no voice comes out and all they see are your tears. They stumble, they try and figure out why they’ve made you cry and apologize. All you really wanted was to hug them.

   They leave a little later promising to return with others, you can only watch as they leave. Somehow the scene hurts more than the first time that had graduated, all you can do is watch their backs disappearing out the door and even now you can’t do anything about it.

   It hurts though, every time they come back and visit with other unfamiliar faces because you see that they held together as a group while you left to try and become someone else. They all seemed so close and you gradually just wished that it would stop, that the visits would just stop because they hurt. They make you wonder how different things would be if you had gone down another route, if maybe you had just taken that time to breathe instead of trying to rush ahead.

   The you that they mention as they talk on about their younger days seem so unfamiliar, it was like another person to you. You didn’t even know who you were anymore, just another sick dying person waiting for their time to be up.
Time does end up running out, you can feel it.

It’s bittersweet, finally being rid of the pain and of the constant medication. Of the constant reminders of where you went wrong in life. There were so many things that you could’ve done, but this is what you’re leaving behind. A man who gave up so much for you, a daughter who barely remembers her mother, parents who cry as they watch their only child leave them and members who you have simply forgotten over the years.

Amends couldn’t be made; this was what you leave behind.
Time ticks and tocks waiting for nobody.
« Last Edit: June 07, 2013, 09:08:30 AM by 0_o »

Offline kuro808

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Re: [Oneshots] Time (June 7)
« Reply #121 on: June 07, 2013, 07:23:04 PM »
Me like the HKT fluffs a lot XD

Time is a general view of life yet you can point to certain parts and see it personally
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Re: [Oneshots] Time (June 7)
« Reply #122 on: June 09, 2013, 10:36:24 AM »
Older more borderline crack style, but hey at least it aint angst


Crush - Matsuoka Natsumi/Anai Chihiro


It was needless to say that Matsuoka Natsumi had not expected herself to be placed in this position due to her actions merely hours ago. She stared in front of her at her normally clumsy captain with a blush; she knew for sure this wasn’t something that she would ever want to get caught with. Yet the sight of Anai Chihiro trying hopelessly to seduce her was too lovable to resist. And so her lecherously uncontrollable hands got the best of her. “Eep!” Natsu had startled the short girl by pulling her in, but she hadn’t expected the impact to cause her to fall onto her back with Chihiro nested on her (nonexistent) chest.

Feeling the stuffy, awkward atmosphere that the two of them shared for months return Natsu couldn’t help but blurt out something that she’d come to regret, “You’re pretty bad at this seduction business.” The shorter girl banged her fists at Natsu making sure to leave some ugly colored bruises before arguing, “T-this is your fault.” Lifting the girl up to stop herself from getting accidently impaled in the face, Natsu made a questioning face, “My fault? Do I have some sort of sign on the back of me that says ‘OH HO HO COME AND SEDUCE ME!’ If I do I’m going to murder Anna for doing that again.”

Natsu shivered at her own horrid flashback at the prank that Anna and Uitan had pulled on her. She had barely made it out alive from the mostly well intentioned flirting done by some of the older AKB48 members. Some however, less innocent than their counterparts had taken the invite much more seriously. Natsu had heard that there were perverts among her senpais, but she had never imagined that even Mayuyu would make a grab for her ass. However that was nothing compared to Kuramochi-san, whom she had never met before pulled her into a hug and started devouring her ear. Some of the more ‘caring’ senpais had made it their mission of the day to help Natsu’s unfortunate chest area grow.

That horrible memory had not been the highlight of that handshake event though; instead it had been when her knight in shining armor swept her up from the evil perverted fiends that were attacking her chest. Yokoyama Yui had plucked her away from the scary senpais, telling her to be careful about the papers that were stuck to her back. It was only then that she realized all of her unfortunate accidents were due to one Murashige Anna. It was a little while later that Yui dropped a shy and blushing Natsu back with her teammates. Ever since then Natsu had harboured a little crush on the kind, gentle senpai. She even went as far as to try and score herself a handshake ticket for Yui at the next event; however she later found out that she had a schedule and wouldn’t be able to go.

“For the love of god, can you stop day dreaming about your precious Yokoyama-san again.” Chihiro whined, to her it wasn’t fair that the dumb girl whom she was on top of would be dense enough to not notice her feelings. “I-I’m not thinking of her.” Natsu said weakly before her hold on Chihiro weakened and the girl once again found her face in contact with a washboard.  “W-why can’t you notice?” Chihiro mutters wondering if it was even possible to win the girl over. “Hmmm?”

Noises.

They froze.

Caught – Deer in headlights was perhaps a more proper term.

Chihiro buried her head away from the influx of members returning to the waiting room. Natsu on the other hand lied there facing the many surprised, and some smirking faces that greeted her.

“My, my I wonder what we have here.” Anna said almost tauntingly, to which Natsu seethed. She would get the girl next time, and if shoving her in a closet with Chori was not enough she would have to just come up with something better. “Oh…” Sasshi had waltzed in only to see her stunned beloved lolis staring at the somewhat scandalously positioned members who had earlier claimed to not be feeling well. Natsu gasped at the look that Sasshi gave her, some mix between pride and amusement. She was definitely not getting the save me message that Natsu was mentally sending out. Giving out a chuckle Sasshi ushered the little chattering lolis back outside of the room to give the two teens “a little alone time”, of course not without winking at poor Natsu and mouthing to her that she had done a good job.

Natsu was getting a headache, all of her teammates thought that there was something going on with her and the Captain now. She couldn’t even fathom what if Sasshi told her precious Yokoyama-senpai about this, she would be ruined. This was all the fault of the girl that was still clinging onto her as if the world depended on it. Then she thought about what Chihiro had said earlier and of the extremely awkward moments the two had been having. Natsu had just chalked it all up to Chihiro being her awkward Captain self but she knew there was something else. Natsu… she didn’t really want to know what it was after all, she didn’t want anything to ruin what was already there.

“Kyap, you can get up already. They’re gone.” Natsu said trying to get the shorter girl off of her.  Frustrated by no reply Natsu was about to roll the captain off of her only to realize that the girl had fainted from the earlier exhibition. To make things worse Chihiro was clinging onto Natsu’s shirt for dear life and the only way Natsu could get out of her grasp would be to go streaking to the costume room. That would of course bring up more unnecessary horrible flashbacks. Deciding not to put herself through such pain again Natsu decided to stay put and let the unconscious captain use her as a bed. “My neck is going to kill me later.” Natsu muttered to herself before trying to shift herself into a better position.

Of course the two little innocent lovebirds (?) didn’t know that Sasshi had snuck back into the group while the two were snuggling into each other to capture some future blackmail. Or the fact that half the group had followed Sasshi back in to get some of their own. However they would know that Anna had snuck back into the group with a permanent marker. Poor little Anna just loved torturing Natsu a little too much, so much that she was willing to forget that Natsu held onto grudges. She would end up remembering not too long later when Natsu locks her into a room with an equally half naked Chori.

Offline kuro808

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Re: [Oneshots] Crush [Matsuoka Natsumi/Anai Chihiro] (June 9)
« Reply #123 on: June 10, 2013, 08:41:58 PM »
Poor Natsu :lol:

It only reminds me to write more HKT fics/OS :lol:
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Re: [Oneshots] Crush [Matsuoka Natsumi/Anai Chihiro] (June 9)
« Reply #124 on: July 12, 2013, 02:51:57 AM »
I don't quite know what I'm writing anymore, it starts off so nice like The Dark Years but somewhere along the lines I just have no idea what I'm doing.

Who knows maybe I'll never get around to finishing it.
Oh I lost the original file too...  :banghead:


Hikikomori [1/?]

~~~~~~~~
The world was a lot different than it was before, something that I had realized from the vague excerpts of history books that they would allow us to read. Of course, in the current system as it is things would have to be held back. The streets are empty, and most of the people soulless, what has the formerly glorious nation come to. I remember my grandparents asking when I was younger, they had disapproved and as I grew older I started to understand.

The system they used to have failed on them because they changed it too much, they had become so desperate to fix the economy that they had resorted to such extremes.

I'm fortunate to be born a girl in this age, because a little later and it might just be like those turbulent times in history.

The rise in hikikomoris - shut ins was the first thing.
The rise of the women the second.
The rise of entertainment the third.

These had much too drastic consequences on our society.

I would guess that many of us don't really realize it though; us younger ones have grown up in such a system and wouldn't even question it. The older ones may remember but they also remember the terror and fear that followed what happened.
We are born into a generation of shut ins.

This isn't by choice; the system has bred us like this instead of trying to fix the problem they tried to work around it.

Japan had been facing a dwindling population and they had become desperate to maintain their economic standing. They implemented things that shouldn't have been. Perhaps you can say they revolutionalized their whole system to force the shut ins into participating in the labour force without them even leaving the safety of their own homes. Perhaps at that point in time people might’ve spoken of how it would be deemed ‘immoral’, but for a country with such pride it meant nothing if for the sole purpose of lifting their country to former glory.

They enacted one policy that they would regret. Test tube children, that's what most of them were now. The future would become increasingly dominated by them as many of the other countries faced the same problems as Japan did. It solved the problem of a dwindling population, but it had produced much more.

Morality had been the biggest debate for the last half century, with all these new implementations and global pressure; there just wasn’t a way to tell right from wrong anymore. Japan had forsaken the morals placed upon them by their Western counterparts, they had done what they felt would be best for their country. In such, perhaps they derived a sense of pride knowing that they would be willing to sacrifice for their country. At least this time they wouldn’t be sacrificing lives in order to attempt to attain a distant goal.

Men especially had become increasingly bitter as they found themselves outnumbered and out positioned by women in the system. They had blamed it on a generation that had been captivated by idols and entertainments, failing to sustain their masculine dominance in the system of Japan, much different than things were merely 200 years ago.

Perhaps that was when they had first turned against things like entertainment, blamed it for all the troubles that the country was facing. The increasing amount of shut ins who found comfort in things like anime and idols. They probably managed to blame the population crisis on it too. The entertainment system had become a scapegoat for everything that had gone wrong with the country. 
We don't learn about things like entertainment anymore, and you barely hear the sounds of music floating on the now empty streets. Sure they existed but, tight reins were place upon them to make sure things stayed the way it is. Rumors were that at one point society had been dominated by them.

In a way they had sacrificed things like entertainment in order to turn their country around from the doom that it had been heading towards.

I sigh as I continue down the street mumbling about the system that we were now in, of course I have no right to be saying anything. After all I am part of that generation of shut ins, and I am more than okay with things staying the way it is. Is it wrong to like stability, to avoid the trouble of changing things again? Perhaps, that's why the people speak up and try to 'reform' our country.

They of course fail; the old men that have regained their hand on high end politics like stability. Most of all they like the stable economy where money flows into the pocket without them actually having to do things other than suppressing those who 'voted' them in.
Corruption was rampant. That's the rumor on the streets of course, the streets run by reformers because no law abiding citizen would or should ever be roaming on the streets when they didn't have to.

I roam the streets only because I have been assigned one of the few social jobs left. Not exactly what I had been hoping for. Perhaps I am to blame, but perhaps it's this school system.

Ever since I had been of age all I remember is being stuck in my room where I would have to watch the daily streamed lessons from what might have been my teacher. It was hard for 6 year olds to stay calm and sit through such things, math, science, business all those things that they would leave for older kids back in the days. It's all fine of course, they don't promote it but we know that our DNA has been tampered with.

Test tube babies born to be compliant shut ins.

Perfect for the education system they had developed, consisting of daily lessons streams, yearly group examinations and rankings. Of course this was only for those that didn't belong to the rich. This was a cost saving system and they would have no of that. They opted for the older social schooling system; a way that they claimed allowed their children to make all the right bonds with the other rich kids. It was a way to propel them into the best future, or so they claimed.  Naturally they were also exempt from our type of examinations and rankings that pretty much determined our future.

It was a competitive system, and no matter how hard they try they couldn't make us all geniuses. This was their way of making sure that what little money they put into the education be used best. Yearly, starting from age 12 50% failed to make it into the next schooling year. And as the year progressed, only a smaller and smaller amount made it to the next, they singled out the geniuses.
Examinations were a funny thing, all you see are stoic faces that you should know but you don't. That's because all you know are their names from the few times you need to do group activities in order to further promote your knowledge. Of course, that was all done in the comforts of our homes.

If you didn't get into the next schooling year, they assigned you to your jobs. I have been shortlisted, among the top of rank 3 they had placed me into this job while they sorted out cases of alleged cheating.

It wasn't a bad job, but it involved interacting with people and I barely knew how to interact with the same people that lived in my house. They were my parents. I used to have grandparents but they passed away, perhaps that why I feel such fondness towards the elderly that fill this senior home.

I found myself enjoy my times with all but one, the cranky old lady that seems to be always staring outside her window. Perhaps she was waiting for someone to come back to her; many of the elderly were like that. She scares me, and she's always emotionless. The only time her face seems to even twitch is when she is humming to herself.

The song's name is Heavy Rotation, a really famous song from almost 100 years ago. There isn't much beyond that, the records of the group have been blacked out like many other groups. That says much about the age of that woman, the oldest at the senior home. It always seems like she's just waiting for her time to come, perhaps that is actually the best for her.

I was eventually moved up to Rank 2, barely safe but I still returned to the senior home daily. It had been a welcomed break from the stress of learning. I liked it there, to be able to hear stories of how our society was before. Of course, many of them haven't lived nearly as long as that old cranky woman who now occasionally changes the tune that she hums. I don't bother to ask, it's irrelevant, and I'd rather not have to look at her emotionless face up close.

My seniors ask of a funny thing from me, they tell me to try and get closer to that old woman. They sigh telling me that about how she has nobody left, and her time is soon coming to an end. That ever since she had entered the system she has been reclusive and no matter how hard they just couldn't bring her back. All she does is stare out the window and hum her songs, something that they've concluded were valuable to her. After all, they were among the forbidden songs. Songs that the government had subtly oppressed seeing it as a challenge to their iron tight rule. Entertainment inspires the power to revolt, perhaps that had been what they thought.

It took a while for her to even notice me, all she does is look out her window then again it doesn't even seem like she's looking at it. Who would want to look at that bleak sky that had been contaminated by human exploitation? Rather, it would be more fitting to say that she was in her own world. If you look long enough you can sometimes see her smile. Emotions, I guess she really did have some of those. Sitting in her room, felt almost as if I were doing a bad thing. Not only was a staring at some old lady and trying to get their attention but at the same time I was hearing all of these forbidden songs. These were things that reformers would listen to, and I really didn't like the idea of being grouped with them in any way whatsoever.

The old woman, her name as Shimazaki Haruka a former member of one of the top idol groups during the period of entertainment dominance.

Offline kuro808

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Re: [Oneshots] Hikikomori [1/?] (June 9)
« Reply #125 on: July 12, 2013, 04:47:55 AM »
Interesting character study for Paruru

I feel the saltiness still lingers
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Re: [Oneshots] Hikikomori [1/?] (June 9)
« Reply #126 on: August 02, 2013, 02:51:52 AM »
Well... maybe I should try nogizaka fics next

Silence - Moriyasu Madoka & Matsuoka Natsumi

        Moriyasu Madoka gets jealous sometimes, as much as she would love to deny it. It was bad on her cool beauty image that she had somehow got stuck with. She figures that the others don’t see her seething when one dumb Matsuoka Natsumi goes around hanging off every member she can get her hands on or at least they pretend to not notice. Before she knew it her work days, which somehow mostly involved the dumb girl had become days of staring in jealousy. At first she wasn’t sure if she was simply jealous of how the girl fit in with the other members or if she was jealous of the members that She wanted to hate the other girl for placing her in such a situation but she couldn’t when at the end of the day said dumb girl would shyly walk up to her and entwine their hands pretending that she had done absolutely nothing wrong.

        They both know the feelings between them, but the rules keep it unspoken. They’re young, they’re still growing and they don’t want to be a burden to the group that had helped them both grow. They stay silent holding hands, enjoying each other presence because silence was the only way they can keep their emotions from spilling.

Because once the words spill out, they won’t be able to stop themselves.

   Natsu can feel the other girl’s eyes focused on her, she basks in the attention knowing that the younger girl’s eyes follow her every action. She acts out, trying to keep that gaze on her because the day it’s their little connection. She’s older and she likes to think that she knows wiser, but sometimes it hurt to know that her feelings could never be replied to overtly.

   That all the two of them can do is pretend that when they touch there isn’t a little shock that goes through them.

   She and Madoka are touchy, having the younger girl in her arms calms her and it feels as if she can just ignore the rest of the recording. It’s getting worse, the two of them know. It gets harder and harder for them to keep words from spilling and to separate at the end of the day. The others don’t comment about how they’re all over each other. Yet somewhere in the back of both their minds they know that the members know the truth. They won’t comment though, after that situation they had all been reluctant to step into another’s business.

   The loss of the five hurt, and it had haunted all of them. Her and Madoka didn’t want to be the next ones to leave.

   Madoka can only wish that the two of them had met under other circumstances, that the two could’ve been a possibility. Unlike how it is now, they’re a taboo and everything was just so much harder. It as if the more wrong it was in reality, the more right it felt to be in Natsu’s arms. She scolds herself when she indulges in that comfort, but all her senses are telling her that it won’t be available for much longer. It couldn’t be, not at the rate things were going.

   She gets pulled aside the next day, they don’t tell her why all they do is tell her she has a future in the industry.

   She’s not dumb; she gets what they’re going at. They know. She’s just surprised that it wasn’t something worse; they probably just thought it was one sided she concludes. They were wrong, adults were always wrong. It wasn’t one-sided but she was fine with them thinking so, it was their assumptions that bugged her. She stays away and she sees the pleased looks of relief on the staff, it sickened her.

   For the first time she hopes that the feelings will fade, she hopes that with time Natsu will stop touching her, stop making her heart beat. It doesn’t stop.

   Her glances stop, as much as she can will herself to but she can’t help but give into Natsu’s arms.  Things fall apart all too quickly; it was already too late when she realizes the words spilling from Natsu’s mouth. So full of love, of hope something that would soon be torn from the both of them. She sees the hope disappear from the other girl’s eyes as she rejects her.

   They couldn’t be and this was for the best, but somehow she can’t find any comfort in those words. She cringes and looks away when she hears the other girl stumble over a goodbye and rush out the door.

   This was for the best, she tells herself but she can’t help that ache in her chest. Was it really for the best or was she destroying the both of them. First love hurts the most doesn’t it, rushing forward without thinking everything hurts that little bit more. Not long after Madoka leaves too, tears falling from her eyes uncontrollably.

   She can’t meet the other girl’s eyes without hurting. Every time she does the memory of the girl’s broken smile appears in her mind.

   Madoka thinks that the girl is over the rejection, but she walks up one day after training entwining their hands. Silence, she had missed this and she didn’t question it as the girl separated with a sad smile. “Matsuoka Natsumi has resigned. Effective immediately.” She doesn’t learn this from the girl herself, not from the managers not from her relatively happy last G+ post. This was unexpected; perhaps that’s why her graduation has been on the newspapers.

   Life continues and Madoka tries her hardest to pretend that the other girl had never existed. She laughs a little when Meru comes up to her and say “Your eyes are lifeless.” How does one even have life in them when the person that they love and rejected simply walked away without a goodbye? She thought she had prepared well for Natsu’s reaction, she had prepared wrong. She never thought that the girl would simply walk out of her life.

   Madoka remembers Natsu’s smile too well, after having stared at it up close it really was too hard to forget. She finds it hard to smile now, but they play it off as her image. Things continue, HKT48 gets more recognition but things don’t feel the same without Natsu by her side.

   Before she knew it, she had been over thinking Natsu’s departure for a year. Things stop though, the pain stops but the longing, the memories they all stay. Madoka really wonders if this job was worth losing Natsu over. That maybe that day when the other girl had confessed, she should’ve agreed. That she should’ve brought up the courage to talk the girl again.

   She hears about Natsu from the other members, ‘she’s happy’ somehow those words put her at ease. The other girl’s moved on; she knows from the smile that Aoi’s face when she mentions her. She’s glad, but it hurts a little to know that Aoi had taken the risk that she didn’t. Madoka can only conclude that it was too late for her. “Hurts?” She hears Meru saying while siding up against her. Scoffing she replies, “Don’t you have better things to be doing? Wotas to be fishing?”

   Silence falls between the two of them and the two sit leaning against one another. It reminds her of when she and Natsu would sit in silence. Not unbearable but definitely not innocent, Madoka could only wonder when it was that things had developed to this state.

   Things happen and perhaps she has finally moved on from Natsu, at least that’s what she tries to convince herself when she accepts Meru’s straightforward confession. The confession itself warranted a laugh, it was worse than the words that had spewed out of Natsu’s mouth. It’s fine though she thinks as she grabs the younger girl’s hands – it would be a new beginning.

   Madoka and her meet again, it wasn’t awkward as they fell into familiar silence. It feels different, but it still calms the both of them. The two of them sit aside and almost by habit Natsu’s hand goes for Madoka’s but she stops midway. They brush that aside and smile as they watched their new partners interact with the other members. They open their mouths to speak again, this time without fear.

   They speak of everything but how they could’ve been.

   The outing ends and everyone splits, they too wave goodbye as they force themselves to look away. Some things haven’t disappeared, but to the two of them it would be fine not to speak of it. They don’t need to know what could’ve been, not when they each have a younger lover holding onto their arms. They stay silent but at least this time neither of them will speak up, they’re older and they know the consequences.

   They couldn’t be young and brash if it wasn’t the two of them anymore. Words flow between the two of them now that they aren’t part of HKT48 but they think carefully about what they speak. There were things that shouldn’t and couldn’t be said be said between the two of them, there always had been.

   In silence they could pretend that they didn’t know and didn’t feel.


Offline kuro808

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Re: [Oneshots] Silence [Moriyasu Madoka & Matsuoka Natsumi] (August 1)
« Reply #127 on: August 02, 2013, 02:55:53 AM »
Great oneshot although saddening in such circumstances :(
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Offline AshuraX

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Re: [Oneshots] Silence [Moriyasu Madoka & Matsuoka Natsumi] (August 1)
« Reply #128 on: August 02, 2013, 07:27:57 PM »
I just read some of these and I've gotta say,

You, sir, are a friggin GENIUS

The different personalities of each idol are different from how you usually see them. Their dark side came out and all hell goes loose (Except Acchan. She's already dark). It would've been awesome if there was a murderous ending somewhere but hey, it's good enough.

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Re: [Oneshots] Silence [Moriyasu Madoka & Matsuoka Natsumi] (August 1)
« Reply #129 on: August 28, 2013, 09:38:34 PM »
hmm when was the last time i understood what in the world i was writing...
certainly not now.

I certainly know nothing about Paru, nor do I even bother to portray her in the light that I see her in.
She could have all the opposite thoughts about AKB for all I care, I'm also too lazy to write in thoughts about the new team 4 or make a biased prediction of how they will turn out.
For all I know it might be (probably definitely) the right place for the future generation of AKB to grow.

Hikikomori [2/?]

At first I merely sat through her talks because the seniors had asked me to accompany the old woman, but soon I found myself interested in the idol group, the world that had existed prior to the changes. Little by little I found myself growing to understand the group that had once seemingly dominated Japan – AKB48.

I didn't really know what to expect when I first started to try and talk to her. I most definitely did not expect her to be telling her life story. It was interesting, a welcome escape from the heaps of school work and class videos that had previously consumed much of my life. It was a welcomed break learning about something that wasn’t mandatory; it almost felt like I was being a little bit of a rebel. After all, this was also forbidden knowledge, things that the government tries it best to subtly enforce.

Shimazaki herself admitted that she hadn’t known much about the group prior to joining. She did hear rumors here and there but she never bothered to care or ask about them. All she knew was the officially enforced story, an idol group that had started in the Akihabara area by Akimoto Yasushi – some famous producer. Shimazaki had joined the group after its dark period and when it was slowly beginning to rise into fame.

She had started off just like the others, as a research student but she later became one of the ‘new generation’ tops. She hated it, or at least that what I had gathered from the way she often just hastily rushed over that fact. The only thing that she mentions with a smile is “Team 4”, her first team. I didn’t understand at first, but she later told me that she and a bunch of other 9th generations had been promoted into a new team. It has been something that deviated from the original plans and expectations for the 3 team system of the group.

It had been devastating for her when their precious team, which they had vowed to bring up, was disbanded. The group was to return to its former 3 team system – they had failed to meet the expectations. Unspoken and unmentioned but they had all known in the back of their heads when they heard the manager announce their fate.

Shimazaki claims that she understands the reasons behind it; the teams had been too unbalanced the team was seen to just be another batch of research students. Some things just had to be done, or they might have never seemed like actual members and in a way the shuffle was an answer. It would be a fresh new start not only for them but also for the group in general. Especially after having their only one and unmovable ace, Maeda Atsuko graduate.

Perhaps this is too much information for one to grasp, at least it had been that way when Shimazaki had first started talking to be about the group. It was a group that I had never even heard the name of, and if someone is to be reading this in the future I would assume so too.

In short, AKB48 is a graduation system based group which houses three different teams A, K, B which taking turns performing in their own theatre. That’s how the group had started out until they had started getting more well known, then they had research students, newly joined girls who had yet to have the skills to become official members.

That was pretty much it; everything else was just extra facts in the core that was exactly how I thought of the group to be. It was easier to handle the information that Shimazaki threw at me if I just added it one at a time instead of trying to reorganize the whole structure that had formed in my head.

From the talks with Shimazaki I never really figured if she really loved her job or she just missed the people that she had been with. It had always seemed like she wasn’t fond of the position that she had been put in – someone that was pushed. Her push went better than others, she didn’t fail to meet the expectations like some of the other people and she had in the end made it to the top. She had graduated while at the top too, but I remember her mumbling something about how it wasn’t worth it any more.

There was another thing that I didn’t quite understand that was why people would spend money to just go shake the hands of their idols who probably didn’t bother to remember either their face or name. I was about to shrug it off as some irrational behaviour when Shimazaki corrects me. She said that she had remembered some of them, their faces and sometimes how they would look so happy after getting to shake their idol’s hands. She doesn’t talk much about handshake events other than that, I gathered that it was probably just another topic she couldn’t be bothered with.

The most puzzling thing of all was the elections though, there were people that would actually throw away their life savings or take out loans in order to try to make their idol rank higher than fellow members. It was irrational and no bit of explanation from Shimazaki would change my mind.

She tried though, she had compared it to the school system that I currently have. As people there will always be people who are more naturally gifted at certain areas than another and people who can get more favors from people. That was just how society ran, it was like how the rich could have a completely different system and how there were geniuses in rank 1. In the world of idols it wasn’t much different there were people that could attract more fans through their talents but there was also senbatsu which Shimazaki compared to the rich. Being in senbatsu allowed more opportunities to shine and gather fans and eventually that would help maintain popularity even in the event of the elections.

However there are also girls who aren’t in senbatsu, or favoured by the management. Those are the girls that benefit the most from the elections. Those girls were like the average people, the ones that have to compete in the education system. It was a bad comparison but in a way it did make more sense.

Shimazaki had faltered after I pointed out the fact that there were girls who tried so hard yet never managed to rank. Unfortunately, that was also true in the education system there were just those who had tried their best but still it hadn’t quite been enough. There might also be girls who would rank in the elections but failed to gain a part in the future singles of the groups, those after all were determined by the biased minds of producers.

I had concluded that I didn’t like elections but it was a way to produce an elite group in order to gather fans and produce sales. It was just like the current schooling system that had its faults but in the end managed to allow those with the superior brains to nourish and grow with the minimal funds placed into our current education system.

It wasn’t a fair system, but it worked and things that worked wouldn’t be easily changed.

Shimazaki wasn’t one to go into details, she claims that there was no point when more than one tabloid, more than one published book would have gone through what ifs and what might’ve happens. What she wanted to share was simply how she thought of the group, biased but at least she would stay true to her feelings for the group that she had once held in high esteem.

Offline kuro808

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Re: [Oneshots] Hikikomori [2/?] (August 28)
« Reply #130 on: August 28, 2013, 09:57:08 PM »
This is the anti-Paruru or Paruru in private.  I truly wanted to write something short for the ChinParu fans XD

It is depth within her character and maybe something truthful to this :)
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Offline Archer1992

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Re: [Oneshots] Hikikomori [2/?] (August 28)
« Reply #131 on: August 30, 2013, 01:39:42 AM »
wooo all the ff are great

thanks so much

^_^

Offline AshuraX

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Re: [Oneshots] Hikikomori [2/?] (August 28)
« Reply #132 on: August 30, 2013, 06:36:03 AM »
... Paruru... she's a little too positive ain't she?

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Re: [Oneshots] Hikikomori [2/?] (August 28)
« Reply #133 on: September 12, 2013, 08:39:05 AM »
... Paruru... she's a little too positive ain't she?

It's not like I think she's overly positive but more like she's about to die and in reality she's already had years upon years to think and be negative over her younger years. I don't know though the whole point of her talking to the main character is actually just an act of selfishness where she wants someone else to share in the memories that she had viewed to be so important. Enough to have placed herself in solitude at the seniors home instead of perhaps, befriending the others.

I don't know, maybe she really is too positive.

//

Another rather unfortunate plot that dates a year and a half ago that I never really got around to doing since it would've been overly inspired by the law classes and psych classes that I had been taking during that time.

... not that my current classes are any better.
Probably more of a personality, insanity, mental disorder and villainy approach??
(all in all, Yuria's E V I L)

oh and

CHARACTER DEATH, SUICIDE
TOTALLY EVIL AND INSANE YURIA



 

Insanity [1/?]

It was an unfortunate tale to have to tell, but someone had to do it.

The murder of Kinoshita Yukiko.

For months on end, without sight of peace the slow details of one SKE48 member had been dragged to court.

The defendant, one of their own Kizaki Yuria.
The accomplice, another of their own Yagami Kumi.
The witness, also one of their own Ogiso Shiori.

Me? I was just an unfortunate background member that had their dreams dashed by a scandal as bad as this. My name is nothing, nobody would remember it for I am neither as famous as Matsui Jurina and Matsui Rena nor as infamous as the ones in question.

The courts had of course had shown all the details of the bloody mess but they had not captured the backlash that would befall the idol group nor for their main group. Nor did it properly capture all the events leading to Kizaki's horrendous deeds.

Motive?

Her motive was simple, Kizaki liked, if not loved or for better words obsessed over Ogiso. It was nothing harmful, many of the younger members looked up to at least one of their seniors perhaps still of a lesser level. That had been okay, at least for the start until Kizaki had started to change in some ways.

One of the theories was that the stress of being one of the pushed members in SKE48 had done it's damage on her. Much like the damage that had been imparted on to Matsui Jurina but that had just been physical damage to her young body. Kizaki's was different, it was all mental damage, perhaps the stress was not all to blame but it had definitely contributed.

Insanity, that was what Kizaki had pleaded to and it was also what had been the jury had bought. Yet there had been so many conflicts, so many moments throughout the trial where Kizaki seemed so... accepting, almost seemingly proud of the damage that she had wreaked. Yet there had been moments where she just seemed confused like a lost child.

Then again I am not here to determine whether or not she was mentally stable at the time the murder had been committed, there are others that are more interested in things like that.

I am merely here to explain the case from the stand point of a member of the group that had been ruined.

I knew Kizaki as a round faced senior that seemed to like clinging to Ogiso that would every once in a while string Yagami Kumi along and try to break up OgiYukko.

That had seemed like nothing until Kinoshita Yukko had been found dead in her apartment one morning with a stab wound to the chest and SKE48 struck to it's cores. A member was gone and we were all just trying to cope in some way. Some of the members had been undeniably close to the older, dance loving girl. The accomplice and the witness both.

It had only seemed strange that neither of them had shown up nor Kizaki at the memorial for Yukko that questions had started popping up.

The police had been brought in over her murder and the three still hadn't been found. There were worries that they had been possibly killed or perhaps kidnapped by the killer. At one desperate point, someone had turned against the wota saying that probably of those "disgusting pigs" had gone too far with their obsession and turned to crime.

It had soon turned into a mess when the police too had started suspecting our fans. Our group had falling into horror, and that had been the start of the destruction of our idol group. We had, unjustified and out of our own suspicion turned against our fans.

Days had turned into weeks without practice, without google+, without theatre shows. Our originally planned concerts and recordings had also been cancelled. It was as if SKE48 had ceased to exist with only and apologetic message from G+ towards the fans we doubted.

It had been a month later when they had been found, Yagami and Ogiso as the hostages to one deranged Kizaki Yuria.

And with that the opening to one of the most dramatic, publicized cases of the year began. Kizaki's face had been plastered all over the newspapers, trial as an adult she was to be spared nothing.

It had only been as the cases unfolded, that people began to realize just how deranged the former member had been. Former because AKS spared no chance of admitting that she was a current member. Fired through G+ notice, but that was nothing compared to removing everything that had been related to Kizaki Yuria the moment that the news broke up.

She was the greatest scandal and danger to have befallen the 48 groups.




///

hmmm i wonder how this will turn out
« Last Edit: September 12, 2013, 08:46:23 AM by 0_o »

Offline AshuraX

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Re: [Oneshots] Insanity [1/?] (Sept 11)
« Reply #134 on: September 12, 2013, 02:19:07 PM »
Well, if it was the years she had been and the experience she has gotten from the group, I think she would be overly-negative. I mean, seriously. Just imagine a member that has been in the group for far too long. Obviously her spirit would deflate into nothing. But for Paruru... she's... weird... Well, not like Paruru's normal either XD

Anywho...
I don't know why, but I'm grinning right now...
One of my SKE oshii is Yagami...
But why am I grinning...?
And why the hell did I actually pity Yuria???

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Re: [Oneshots] Insanity [1/?] (Sept 11)
« Reply #135 on: January 26, 2014, 07:28:38 AM »
Wow... this was wrong a long long time ago.
Like right after Rina wrote that blog post about her getting married.
Was going through my fics and found this one so I thought I'd finish it and post it up.
The ending was pretty rushed though, I just sorta threw words together. But meh at least it's done.

___

Happiness - Nakanishi Rina

She didn't even know what had compelled her to write a blog post after more than a year so since her so called third 'graduation'. She thought that once it had all been said and done she would just disappear yet, after a year she was mentioning news of her life. She was happy yes, but she didn't nearly need to flaunt the fact that she had happiness to any of her 'fans'. She didn't even know how or what she was supposed to think of them as anymore. Nonetheless she had let go and moved on, finding herself someone to love.

She had seen the election results, she thought she was over that group, perhaps that's why her husband had mentioned it that night.

"Oh did you hear that the Oita girl won first place at the elections?"

It didn't mean anything to her to hear that the girl from her hometown had won, she had put her idol days behind her. She went to bed that night without a trace of thought on that former group. It was only from the news that she had heard of /her/ name. Takahashi Minami, the so called soul of AKB48 had dropped out of the prestigious kami7.

Maybe she wasn't so over the group as she thought, no she just wasn't over the girl that was once her best friend. She just wish that things hadn't ended the way that she did, of all the sacrifices that she had to make, she just wished that her friendship with Takahashi Minami had not been on of them. It's fine though, she comforts herself with the same words that she had for the past years, she had left her in good hands.

Takahashi Minami would shine without her in her life.

Yet she still continued to ponder about the girl. Before she knew it she had a blog post written out, what originally had just been news about her current situation. Yet in the middle of her blog she could see that call out to Minami. It wasn't the first time, but surely she wished that it would be the last.


謝りたい人がたくさんいます。
I want to apologize to so many people.
ごめんなさい。
Sorry.

会いたい人がたくさんいます。
There are so many people I want to see.
わたしは今も変わらず大好き。
Even now I still love you all.

夢を叶えたくて入った世界、
頑張れば頑張るほど
わたしの気持ちとは
違う方へ進んでいきました
途中で引き返せないぐらい
あっというまに時が進み
頑張るしかなかった
むなしかったです


だけど、もう大丈夫。
But it's fine.

前に進む。
I've moved forward.

やっぱり頑張った子が報われてほしい
But, I definitely wish that those who work hard get what they deserve
そんな人を見ると自然に応援したくなります。
I see those types of people and I want to support them.


It was not right to walk back into her life, not when Minami was shinning as an idol fulfilling both their dreams.

Her husband walks up behind her, fresh out of the shower after work.

"Updating your blog?" his reaction is mixed, he loves her but sometimes he just can't forget what had happened to Rina before he stepped into her life.

"It'll be the last time, just some closure in the life of Yamaguchi Riko." she mumbles back, knowing that it was so much more than that.

He's pulling her into a hug, and she remembers why exactly she had fallen for such a man. His kindness, his forgiveness, he wasn't perfect but he was the best thing for her. She almost felt like she didn't deserve this happy ending, but this was finally hers - happiness.

She doesn't bother to think anymore as she posts it, hoping that somewhere out there her call to Minami would be answered. Yet she knows that it would be better off if Minami doesn't remember her.

She was probably just a memory to her after all.

She doesn't really bother to think about it after, maybe her words will reach her maybe it won't. When she chose to accept her husbands proposal she had promised herself that she would let go of her past, including her days as an idol.

She didn't even think that there would be a reply, so of course she wouldn't have been on the look out for one. Rina moved on and it wasn't until years later when she met Mariko on the streets again, the both of them having left the world of idols. Only then could Rina bring herself to talk to the the other like an old friend - something that they could've been.

They talk about their lives after all this time, Mariko of of her new line of clothing, Rina about the three year old toddler she urges to greet Mariko. They're both living lives of happiness, and they shone as such. It wasn't until Mariko brings up Minami then that Rina's smile falters.

"She would be happy to know that you're doing so well. You never did see that tweet did you?"

Rina's confused, she had never bothered to start twitter in fears that she'd just get stalked and harassed by former fans and haters alike.

Mariko smiles, so that's the missing part of the story.

"She was happy for you, gave you her blessings, hoped the best for you." Mariko watches as Rina's smile falls completely.

The toddler stares at her mother in wonder, why was she crying. Tugging on her mother's hand the toddler fumbles her words, "Mama, I will be good!"

"Here, you should talk to her." Mariko says before handing over a tissue and the other Minami's business card.

Rina calms down and pockets the card, wondering if maybe she would actually find the courage to call. The two say their goodbyes as Mariko rushes away to an abrupt business meeting, but not without promising the visit little Minami another time.

She doesn't end up calling though, she returns back to her normal life instead of seeking to open old wounds. There were just things that were meant to stay buried like her ambiguous relationship with Minami.

She was happy now, she had a loving husband and an adorable child. There was no reason to bring drama into her life over what if's that she had long forgotten.

She's cleaning out her purse when she is once again greeted by Minami's business card. Something that she had already forgotten about. Curiosity sparks in the back of Rina's brain, tempting her to pick up her phone and give Minami that call. No doubt, Mariko had mentioned her to the younger girl.

Her fingers tap out the unfamiliar numbers when she hears the sound of her daughter and husband laughing in the living room. She stops, remember what she had promised herself. Once severed ties, should remained severed, she didn't deserve the younger girl anymore. She would be alright just knowing that the girl was happy and making all her dreams come true. Things that she can catch from the entertainment section of the newspapers.

Discarding the business card Rina takes a deep breathe and returns to her family with a smile and renewed resolve.

She was happy now.

___

Sometimes we don't need to take chances, sometimes we can just be content with what we already have.
Anyways, I'm pretty much 90% out of the fandom so idk if i'll be finishing any of the other fics.

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Re: [Oneshots] Happiness [Nakanishi Rina] (Jan 25)
« Reply #136 on: January 11, 2016, 03:01:34 AM »
Baking - Shimazaki Haruka/Yokoyama Yui

Yokoyama Yui, didn't particularly like baking. In fact when she had first rented the place she lived at now there were no supplies for baking. She had only bought some things on a whim to prepare for Valentines Day. Nonetheless she finds herself resting her head on her kitchen counter staring at the busy girl on the other side. Yui wasn't a big fan of baking, but she did like staring at her girlfriend baking. It was cute, seeing her pout at particularly complicated parts, seeing her frown at her own messy handwriting, seeing her growl while trying to open particularly stubborn containers and seeing the other girl smile at the finished products.

Yui was useless when it came to baking, Shimazaki Haruka knew that from the moment she asked the girl to teach her to bake cookies 5 years ago. She's grown used to the older girl's staring and when it does bother her she just slowly slides some sort of bowl in front of the girl to get her to mix it while she goes away in some corner to hide her reddening face. Her girlfriend would always displayed a confused, distracted face before finally getting to work. At least now she doesn't accidentally spill half of the contents of the kitchen counter.

After plopping whatever they were making into the oven to bake, Haruka would always grab onto the now dozing Yui's hand and lead her to the couch. She snuggles into the older girl and sometimes they just doze off together until the alarm goes off. Other times Yui keeps talking away, about work, about the cute new 15th generation kids, and about how much she missed the other girl. Haruka likes the sound of Yui's voice, so other than the odd comment here or there she lets Yui speak and listens with a content smile on her face.

When the alarms go off Yui always gently pries the younger girl away from her for a bit to get the baked goods out of the oven to cool. It's Haruka's turn to stare at the other girl wanting to catch her reaction to the goods. Yui gives some comments about it before feeding a piece to her girlfriend who is furrowing her eyebrows thinking of what to bake next time. They spend the rest of the day cuddled up on the couch with the rest of the baked goods.

Without fail, and without schedules getting in the way Haruka makes her way to Yui's apartment every week with a different recipe in hand. They always fall into the same routine - Haruka bakes, Yui stares, they snuggle, Haruka stares and Yui eats. Every week Yui throws her diet and her tiredness out the window to greet her girlfriend cheerily. She swears that the other girl knows about her diet and is baking on purpose to fatten her up to use her as a pillow during outings. Yet she still eats the majority of what her girlfriend bakes since she always has a happy smile on her face。

_______

It's cute, it's fluff, and it's the last thing I'll be posting for this thread.
In regards to Akiba Kindergarten I think i'll try to get it up to 200 and that'll be it.

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Re: [Oneshots] Baking [Shimazaki Haruka & Yokoyama Yui] (Jan 10)
« Reply #137 on: January 15, 2016, 07:20:37 AM »
 :heart: yuiparu baking! It was adorable :D

Offline Darathon

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Re: [Oneshots] Baking [Shimazaki Haruka & Yokoyama Yui] (Jan 10)
« Reply #138 on: January 19, 2016, 05:29:45 AM »
Aww are you done writing oneshots? I'll miss your cute stories :fainted:
 Thanks for sharing your writing with us
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Takamina Oshi!!!

Offline Yuki88

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Re: [Oneshots] Baking [Shimazaki Haruka & Yokoyama Yui] (Jan 10)
« Reply #139 on: January 19, 2016, 07:32:58 AM »
That's sad. I will miss your HKT fluffs along with your angst works.
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