* I figured I might need to put a warning up. This work is going to be dealing with subject matter that some of you may have problems with. Profanity will be used. How much at this point, I can't really say. But I think it would be safe to say the f-word will be making an appearance.(In at least one of the diaglouges I have written it is in there.) I'm not going to tone down my work to make it more acessible or to gain a wider auidence. I refuse to write something that I can't stand behind. If I change it, it would become something I wouldn't be happy with. If you have a problem with it I hope you would be able to put it aside and read it for what it is, but if you can't it is understandable.
Merciless Cult It started at that house party, but this is were is escalated into something else. I'm convinced if we didn't go life would be different. For me, I would have never met them. The whole group of them. I never would have experienced all those things. And most importantly I wouldn't be siting handcuffed in this alley with Masae and Asami. Aichan...I wonder how it would have been for her if I managed to stop her from going. Maybe she would have cleaned herself up, returned to normal. Then again she might have ended up dead in some club. Who knows, the second one might still be her future. As for mine? I don't know. The future...If I was asked the day of that party what I thought the out come would have been... I could have never imagined this. Imagined what my life has become. What the people in my life are like. I think I am putting the cart ahead of the literary horse. If we are to follow the real timeline of things, I should go back to what I mentioned. The party. Not the house party.
The party. The one that changed everything.
Aichan was already into loads of things. There was stuff I'm sure I didn't even know about. Things she even managed to keep hidden from me. Teenage experimentation went out the window after the second party. It was hardcore now. That means money, and lots of it. Ai had pretty much blown whatever she had. Losing her book smarts and gaining street smarts, she sought to eliminate the middle man. She wanted to be connect to someone. Eri understood, she had already done this. Don't ask me how. It blows my mind. How do you even go about finding a drug dealer? How'd you go about getting connected? Where did the dealers get connected? I was disgusted with myself that I was intrigued by the whole business of it.
Anyway, Eri had her connection. And now she was going to get Ai hers.
The party, well it wasn't really a party. We showed up at this club in downtown Tokyo. We got in, which suprised me. Thoroughly. Looking back on it now I remember Eri talking to one of the guys at the door. Clearly he knew what was going on. That's how we got it. Inside it was as noisy as all hell. Trance and hip hop music was blaring the entire time. Lights flashing, bodies all over the place. The club itself was high end. And from what I could make out of the crowd it was obvious they had money. Eri walked on the outskirts of the dance floor and made her way up a set of stairs.
We followed.
If you wonder why I followed,
why I had been
why I didn't up and leave
along time ago
why I stayed with her
why I still am
You'd really just have to go through it yourself.
She continued weaving in and out of bodies until we reached one of the rooms on the second floor. Inside the room there was another party. People were hunched over various surfaces with lines spread out before them. I had a mental image of Ai doing it and all of a sudden felt sick. Others were off drinking. A group of people were dancing, furiously rubbing against each ohter, with eyes closed, experiencing a new high. Eri stopped to talk to someone and I kept my eyes on the group of people dancing. One girl close to me had her arms wrapped around the neck of a handsome guy who had his on her hips. She was gorgeous, short black hair that was curled, an equally short plaid skirt, a tight white button down dress shirt with a few of the top buttons undone and a black tie wrapped losely around her neck. She would much later be introduced to me as Rika and take her role in my new life. But at that moment I knew nothing. I was captivated as I saw her hands seductively slip a pill into the guy's mouth.
He wasn't complaining.
But my conscious was.
Before I could come to my senses, protest, and escape with Ai, Eri was taking us down the hall.
Inside yet another room, this place was decievingly bigger than one would think, I saw a rather eclectic bunch of girls.
One with short, wildly coloured hair.
Another, tall, skinny, too skinny, short black hair that went down to her jaw, parted with one side tucked behind her ear and the other off to the right providing a striking outline of her ataractive face.
An extremely short girl with blonde hair counting a pile of bills.
A brown haired girl with a camo tank top on and ripped jeans. She had a cigarette dangling from her mouth, above it rested almost black eyes. Her earings gave you the impression she was the rough and tough type, if the rest of her didn't that is.
I couldn't inspect anyone else. My attention, and everyone elses, was suddenly drawn to a girl walking down the stairs. It wasn't a walk, it was more of a swager. Her left hand held the top of a bottle of beer. It seemed like they were made for each other, in such a way that you rarely even realized that one was in her hand. Thinking about it now I can't recall many times when I had seen her without one. Her brown hair was curled and went down past her shoulders a bit. She was skinny, muscular, you wouldn't say there was anything particularly impressive about her body. Her face though was another matter.
Some people may be like that, and I'm okay with it. But I like boys. Up until that moment I had never really questioned it, but there was something about her that immediately drew me to her. My heart skipped a beat as she leaned in and kissed the skinny one with black hair. I felt jealous for a second. Much, much later, I will explain the complicated attraction to her, it's not sexual mind you, in detail, but for now I am just telling you how it was at the time. Something I learned, again much later, is that drugs can make you like that. None of them were or are to my knowledge
that way but she was good looking enough and the other was on meth. You can skip little details like that whole being two girls things when you are on it and feeling the effects.
The sexual kiss was ended and everyone's attention shifted back to us. and more importantly me.
At least it felt that way.
It felt like every single one of them was looking at me. Completely obvious I was odd(wo)man out. Suddenly it got hard to breathe and I considered making an escape back into the other room. Before I could consider my other options the one with the multicoloured hair spoke.
"What'da want?" She adressed Eri.
"an eightball" Ai cut in.
I looked over at her. Her hand was extended, offering a pile of bills.
The girl smiled.
It didn't seem like a nice one.
"Don't bother me with small time stuff, kid. Go find Tanaka if all you want is an eight."
"That's not the only thing I want." Ai paused looking the girl in the eye. "I want an in."
Multicoloured smiled, the bolde haired girl with the bills shook her head, smirked, and went back to counting.
Mulitcoloured looked over at the striking girl who shrugged her shoulders in a text book apathetic move.
"An in is expensive."
"I know. The eight was just going to be a peace offering."
"Really now?"
"I figured you'd get to like me more after a hit."
"I think you're a smart girl."
They took a hit.
And life changed.
Forever.
At the time I knew nothing. I had no idea that being in the same room as the m was some huge deal, especially the striking girl. I learned really quick though. Sitting in this alleyway and reflecting a bit has brought me to a question.
Why?
Why did you let us in?
Why did you take us with you?
Why did I become someone?
Why did you make me that someone?
Why? Why? Why?
I keep thinking it over and over again. Of course
Why?
Has been in my thoughts before. But now, now that I have truely looked back at the begining, the question becomes bigger. They could have told us to get out. They could of said no. But they didn't. I feel my brain start to get ready to ask Masae "why?" but I cut it off. I still haven't finished explaining the begining. When I'm done I'll ask her.
I stayed in the room with them for awhile. Captivated by them. For whatever odd reasons, I was. Multicoloured girl's name turned out to be Masae. The one counting the bills was called 'Yaguchi' a few times. The one who had kissed the striking girl responded to 'Yossie' while the girl in camo apparently went by 'Asami', just Asami. I'm not sure if I found out that night, but Masae's last name was/is Ootani. I didn't learn Yaguchi's first name and Yossie's full name until a very long time after that. Striking girl remained nameless.
Eri was leaving the room and I went along with her. I wanted to ask her something but she disappeared into the dance floor. I looked around and was suprised, read floored, to find a familiar face.
"Sayu?"
"Ah, hey Risa."
I sat down next to her on the couch. I was going to ask what she was doing here, but I knew I wouldn't want to hear the answer. I pretty much knew it already.
Sayu was best friends with Eri. Judging from the expression on her face, I knew they had more in common that teenage stuff.
An hour long conversation with her revealed my worst fear.
If you're losing your friend to drugs.
You're probably going to lose yourself.
Listening to her, I found myself and Aichan in the same position.
Eri was always in the party scene at school, Sayu as well. They had done pot and stuff like that, but suddenly Eri wanted more. It got worse and worse. Sayu couldn't stop her and ended up giving in herself.
"It's just easier this way. If you wanna fight it, you should, but in the end" She paused, looking me straight in the eye , her body swaying back and forth unsteadily, "You're not going to win."
I felt my heart drop. My stomach felt like a weight had been place on it. I didn't want to end up like this. I could save myself. I could save her too.
Being naive can give you such hope sometimes.
I wanted to take Ai and Eri and Sayu and leave. I wanted to go back to being normal teenagers. I wanted it in the worst way.
I told Sayu I would see her later and walked back towards the room.
I opened the door just in time to get a yell from Masae
"Come on, we're out of here."
Ai's peace offering must have been one hell of a one. I'm sure something that small amount didn't even effect any of them. I'm positive that it was Ai herself that got us in. That took us inside. Not the Aichan that I had built years of friendship with. The new personality that had taken hold over her 85% of the time.
Takahashi.
Aichan was my best friend. Takahashi was the embodiment of our destruction. Mostly everyone called her that, even before the drugs, at school and whatnot. Some of the girls called her by her first name, but I was the only one calling her Aichan. But now that drugs were in the picture, Takahashi became a larger than life persona. She was bold, daring, funny, she was
my Aichan multiplied by ten on speed and god knows what else. Now that we were on the inside, it was only a matter of time before everyone knew Takahashi. And only a matter of a time before I lost Aichan.
Topic: break (Read 9314 times)